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Ladies intuition
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'd had a meet arranged for today (1pm) but previous interactions with the person had left me with a sour taste (My uncle had been in hospital so had to change the time of a meet to a bit later than originally planned to which he wasn't very happy about and didnt he let me know )
But anyway he is well verified and so I thought I was just being sensitive and thought I'd give him another chance.
So last night I've had an awful sleep, partly because I've been on nights and partly because I've had anxiety about this meet (melodramatic I'm aware) but I couldn't help thinking that if he comes across that way in messages how will he be in person?
So I cancelled the meet, I'm aware it is late notice (I messaged him around 9am) and explained how I felt about previous interactions and apologised for leaving too late notice
Only for him to reply calling me a time waster and blocking me. 
I'll admit I should/could have given more notice but up until yesterday I was fine about it, it's literally been during the night while I should have been sleeping I've changed my mind.
Am I wrong in thinking I made a good call in cancelling this meet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good call. I always go on intuition. If someone even gives off the slightest hint of negativity before we’ve even met then that’s a big red flag.
You did the right thing. |
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It's a good call any time you are uncomfortable about the person. Sometimes we can be slower to pick up on things, or we have conflicting desire.
But self preservation of your well being is important.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You've been spot on there chick go with your gut instinct. I think hes lucky you were gonna give him a second chance lol plenty of decent, genuine and understanding guys on here xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was not worth meeting if they cannot understand family comes first.
Worse still if you had not told him and he was waiting had that quite a few times to me and then when you message to find out what happened you are blocked |
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I think you did right op.
If he left you with a bad feeling ,thats your gut telling you somethings not right
You are not a timewaster,you let him know you had changed your mind and we are all entitled to do so.
Sorry about your uncle,hope you're both ok.
Miss xx |
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Sorry about your uncle. I think good call, always trust your gut.
If you’re uncomfortable before a meet, there’s a good chance you won’t enjoy anyway.
A person is always entitled to change their mind if they’re not comfortable for any reason, it’s not like you just didn’t turn up and left someone wondering where you are. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You've done what's right for you, but I do think he's within his rights to consider you a time waster. "
He is within his right yes
But I'm Not, I gave him more than enough notice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've had socials where the Mrs. has used the agreed codeword when something didn't sit right with her in relation to the person we met.
Her call,I trust and respect her intuition, and we've made our excuses and walked.
It would appear a similar intuition worked for you.
No guilt on your, you offered an explanation and an apology.
I'm our book you did the right thing. |
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"You've done what's right for you, but I do think he's within his rights to consider you a time waster.
He is within his right yes
But I'm Not, I gave him more than enough notice "
If you're a time waster then so is he as you've both put in the same amount of time with messages. The whole time waster thing is ridiculous anyway, of course you need to put in time to work out if someone is for you, if that time warns you that they are not then it's time worth investing, if it tells you they are then it's also time worth investing. |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
You have wasted the guys time so you are a timewaster in this instance.
He didn't act very well regarding the initial meet being changed due to your uncle. He should have been more sympathetic. You gave him another chance and arranged a new time and then changed your mind. You are entitled to do that of course.
It's not clear whether you interacted with him between agreeing the new time and then subsequently cancelling. You seemed to infer that your bad nights sleep made you consider things more. You say he called you a timewaster and blocked you. I don't see that as an insult. Timewasting isn't just about getting someone to go to a meet and not showing up. Chatting to someone and getting them into the mindset that you will meet and then not doing so is wasting someones time also.
I put it to anyone replying here that in the same situation they would have blocked just as he did. I have seen many posts saying that and including the words 'no matter what the reason' on similar threads.
All in all I think you and him where doomed so your gut instinct was correct. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Things happen and plans change, plus at the end of the day if it doesn’t feel right then it probably isn’t.
Good on you for doing what you wanted to do.
If he’s blocked you and has issues, then so be it, he’s not worth it.
Stay safe xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You've done what's right for you, but I do think he's within his rights to consider you a time waster. "
Agree.
OP I would have cancelled after the bit where you rearranged the time as your uncle is ill and he was an arse about it. But I think you did the right thing in letting him know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You've done what's right for you, but I do think he's within his rights to consider you a time waster.
He is within his right yes
But I'm Not, I gave him more than enough notice "
He would think you are though.
I think you gave plenty of notice. You could have said you'd woken up this morning full of cold and feeling crap. Chin up. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our best ever meet (met them a few tunes actually) I had a gut feeling they weren't going to be right for us. I was very very wrong, gut instinct isn't always right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He might have booked time off work so may have been peed off, but always cancel if you’re not sure. It’s your basic right. Also, I’m surprised you have him another chance, I don’t think many would have. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You have wasted the guys time so you are a timewaster in this instance.
He didn't act very well regarding the initial meet being changed due to your uncle. He should have been more sympathetic. You gave him another chance and arranged a new time and then changed your mind. You are entitled to do that of course.
It's not clear whether you interacted with him between agreeing the new time and then subsequently cancelling. You seemed to infer that your bad nights sleep made you consider things more. You say he called you a timewaster and blocked you. I don't see that as an insult. Timewasting isn't just about getting someone to go to a meet and not showing up. Chatting to someone and getting them into the mindset that you will meet and then not doing so is wasting someones time also.
I put it to anyone replying here that in the same situation they would have blocked just as he did. I have seen many posts saying that and including the words 'no matter what the reason' on similar threads.
All in all I think you and him where doomed so your gut instinct was correct."
Seeing it like that I can see how he might think I purposely wasted his time.
Obviously I am only looking from my point of view |
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I always say go with your gut instinct. However since it stops you doing things there isn't often a way of telling of it was correct or not. If it stops you getting on a plane which then crashes obviously you have proof but cancelling a meet because you feel it might have turned out badly...you will never know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like a good call. The clues are often there just takes a while sometimes to join the dots. You’ve wasted no ones time except your own worrying about it. Trust your gut ???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Seeing it like that I can see how he might think I purposely wasted his time.
Obviously I am only looking from my point of view "
This post reflects well on you. I wouldn't have reacted the way he did, but I would have considered you a time waster.
That said, you clearly made the right decision for you. |
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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago
Henley Arden |
"You have wasted the guys time so you are a timewaster in this instance.
He didn't act very well regarding the initial meet being changed due to your uncle. He should have been more sympathetic. You gave him another chance and arranged a new time and then changed your mind. You are entitled to do that of course.
It's not clear whether you interacted with him between agreeing the new time and then subsequently cancelling. You seemed to infer that your bad nights sleep made you consider things more. You say he called you a timewaster and blocked you. I don't see that as an insult. Timewasting isn't just about getting someone to go to a meet and not showing up. Chatting to someone and getting them into the mindset that you will meet and then not doing so is wasting someones time also.
I put it to anyone replying here that in the same situation they would have blocked just as he did. I have seen many posts saying that and including the words 'no matter what the reason' on similar threads.
All in all I think you and him where doomed so your gut instinct was correct."
Have to totally DISagree with this.
A time waster is someone arranging to meet with no intention of meeting or one of the fantasists who just email and pretend they swing.
Cancelling a meet and informing the prospective 'player' because you have decided you not comfortable/ happy meeting. Is just that canceling a meet.
The other person/s should just accept gracefully and respectfully your decision.
I think what the OP did was correct. She arranged to meet. Then decided she didn't want to and informed the other party.
Golden rule in swinging. Respect the other persons decision/ choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont understand why you changing the time of the meet then you giving him another chance. What did he do wrong in the first place?
If I was chatting to someone and they changed a meet then cancelled I would patch them too. Plans change yes but cancelling just because youve got drama in your head. Nah x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dont understand why you changing the time of the meet then you giving him another chance. What did he do wrong in the first place?
If I was chatting to someone and they changed a meet then cancelled I would patch them too. Plans change yes but cancelling just because youve got drama in your head. Nah x"
I didn't cancel the original meet he did.
I just said I had to meet at a specific time because of visiting time at the hospital to which he told me rather abruptly forget it then.
I do say in my original post that he clearly wasnt happy about the time change and made sure i was very aware he wasn't happy but at the end of the day my family comes first. |
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"which he wasn't very happy about and didnt he let me know"
At this point I would have blocked HIM and felt no guilt whatsoever.
Fab/sex is fun but not a need and nobody is entitled to a meet or sex.
My "real" life comes first EVERY time, anyone doesn't get that - tough! |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Is men’s intuition as fine tuned as women’s....?
Would he be lambasted as not being a gentleman if his intuition had said, “no”.
One senses it would sometimes.
Suppose it is open, honest and congruent communication that works.
Incongruent behaviour is a great bell pusher for intuitive response.
Well, in my world. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is men’s intuition as fine tuned as women’s....?
Would he be lambasted as not being a gentleman if his intuition had said, “no”.
One senses it would sometimes.
Suppose it is open, honest and congruent communication that works.
Incongruent behaviour is a great bell pusher for intuitive response.
Well, in my world."
If a man had posted that he was speaking to a woman and when he explained he had a family member in the hospital and he had to meet later (Not cancel) and the woman was rude to him.
The response would be exactly the same |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Is men’s intuition as fine tuned as women’s....?
Would he be lambasted as not being a gentleman if his intuition had said, “no”.
One senses it would sometimes.
Suppose it is open, honest and congruent communication that works.
Incongruent behaviour is a great bell pusher for intuitive response.
Well, in my world.
If a man had posted that he was speaking to a woman and when he explained he had a family member in the hospital and he had to meet later (Not cancel) and the woman was rude to him.
The response would be exactly the same "
It’s if the discussion stops there that I suspect shows the real intent. |
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If you’ve got to the point that meeting up is on , then it gets cancelled for one reason or another through no ones fault ( an ill relative being a good example ) , then there was clearly enough to feel it worthwhile going through with the meet .
Ok , he was a bit harsh when you changed the timing on the first meet by cancelling , but despite this you agreed to reschedule . Again this indicates that the meet was worthwhile .
He will have had a huge surge of adrenaline and testosterone in anticipation for both potential meets , and you got cold feet , cancelled and he’s blocked you and called you a timewaster . This isn’t essentially the case as you hadn’t agreed a time and place which he turned up to . However , the time spent messaging and looking forward to the meet may be what he means . And of course , he’s every right to feel that .
Did you do the right thing ?
Only you know the answer to that , but I would have done the same as he did under the circumstances . Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be , and since you wouldn’t have met him anyway , he was right to block you . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you’ve got to the point that meeting up is on , then it gets cancelled for one reason or another through no ones fault ( an ill relative being a good example ) , then there was clearly enough to feel it worthwhile going through with the meet .
Ok , he was a bit harsh when you changed the timing on the first meet by cancelling , but despite this you agreed to reschedule . Again this indicates that the meet was worthwhile .
He will have had a huge surge of adrenaline and testosterone in anticipation for both potential meets , and you got cold feet , cancelled and he’s blocked you and called you a timewaster . This isn’t essentially the case as you hadn’t agreed a time and place which he turned up to . However , the time spent messaging and looking forward to the meet may be what he means . And of course , he’s every right to feel that .
Did you do the right thing ?
Only you know the answer to that , but I would have done the same as he did under the circumstances . Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be , and since you wouldn’t have met him anyway , he was right to block you ."
 agree, he was right to block you, we would do the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The fact that you are a single attractive woman who as been on here for almost a year without any verifications leads me to think you are more than likely a timewasters though tbh |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The fact that you are a single attractive woman who as been on here for almost a year without any verifications leads me to think you are more than likely a timewasters though tbh"
Who doesn't have any verifications? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The fact that you are a single attractive woman who as been on here for almost a year without any verifications leads me to think you are more than likely a timewasters though tbh
Who doesn't have any verifications?"
You according to your acct ? |
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"The fact that you are a single attractive woman who as been on here for almost a year without any verifications leads me to think you are more than likely a timewasters though tbh
Who doesn't have any verifications? You according to your acct ?"
She is verified,probably just chooses not to show them
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The fact that you are a single attractive woman who as been on here for almost a year without any verifications leads me to think you are more than likely a timewasters though tbh
Who doesn't have any verifications? You according to your acct ?"
You don't understand how it works. She is verified. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If a man had posted that he was speaking to a woman and when he explained he had a family member in the hospital and he had to meet later (Not cancel) and the woman was rude to him.
The response would be exactly the same "
Im not so sure about that. Ive seen threads in the past when a guy has cancelled, with notice, on a women and he's been pilloried. Single women will always be treated differently by most on the forums. |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
To be brutal.... no one owes anyone anything from the off so if you change your mind for whatever reason it is (or should be) ok. Some people will never think it’s ok to cancel. I say fuck em... well not fuck em... erm you get what I mean.
You told him. Your reasons are your reasons. You’re done. I’d think no more of it. He can do as he wishes.
And I’d say the same to a guy as well.
V x
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