FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Paying to meet

Paying to meet

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Is it just me or are other guys surprised (and a bit disappointed) that some ladies and couples expect the guy to pay for a hotel if he can't accommodate?

This is not about supply and demand (i.e. if you won't pay there are many who will ...). There's quite a bit wrapped up in this approach to other Fabbed ... selfishness, standards, courtesy, ego and much more.

If there's a desire to meet then surely it's a mutual venture. Personally I avoid anyone who doesn't see a meet as a joint venture and share costs as it's a red flag to me about how I might be treated.

I just wonder what others think?

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

How about offering to pay at the start and then if you’re any good you can reclaim the balance afterwards?

I’ve done this before and it reduced my bill from £40 to £39.85

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why should the bloke pay? Either both of you pay or the person doing the traveling does. It’s one of these things called communication that would help with this, and sadly, most people here reaaaaaaly struggle with that. C x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How about offering to pay at the start and then if you’re any good you can reclaim the balance afterwards?

I’ve done this before and it reduced my bill from £40 to £39.85

Well done!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If someone expects you to pay for a hotel and you don’t want to then just don’t meet them.... what’s the issue?

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

"How about offering to pay at the start and then if you’re any good you can reclaim the balance afterwards?

I’ve done this before and it reduced my bill from £40 to £39.85

Well done!!"

Obviously I had to haggle hard

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

I think the single man should at least offer to pay. Men earn more than women, on average, and frankly single men benefit the most from meeting a couple.

I pay when i meet a special lady separately (we also meet with our partners).

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By *andemanMan over a year ago

bedforshire

Iam a wee bit old school and a gentlemen pays. This is very different to pay for play that is a total no no for me.

If a woman said she would only meet me if i paid for the hotel i would question her motives. Not into being rinsed. If its an issue of affordability than thats different iam not classist and some people have real money concerns.

My wee squeeze and i take turns with costs.

Money after all is only beer tokens and access passes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If someone expects you to pay for a hotel and you don’t want to then just don’t meet them.... what’s the issue?"

I set out the issue for discussion in my OP ...? Your solution is quite correct but the discussion is around etiquette and motives.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think the single man should at least offer to pay. Men earn more than women, on average, and frankly single men benefit the most from meeting a couple.

I pay when i meet a special lady separately (we also meet with our partners). "

I think that's a choice you made (which is fine!) rather than an expectation of payment. It's also a big assumption about income as everyone's circumstances are different. As another poster said, it's something to discuss in communication.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Iam a wee bit old school and a gentlemen pays. This is very different to pay for play that is a total no no for me.

My wee squeeze and i take turns with costs.

Money after all is only beer tokens and access passes."

I think there's a difference between choice to pay and expectation to pay. As you say, the latter raises questions of motives.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How about offering to pay at the start and then if you’re any good you can reclaim the balance afterwards?

I’ve done this before and it reduced my bill from £40 to £39.85

Well done!!

Obviously I had to haggle hard

I'm sure you provided 15 pence of value though!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have found it the other way round. So many single guys just seem to look to the couple to sort the accommodation. Always refreshing to find a guy who is a bit more proactive.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A female on here just wants a free meal out and she’s anybody’s lol

And men to pay for a hotel room!!

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By *weet and Spicy69Couple over a year ago

Northwest

I think the cost of the hotel should be split down the middle, I wouldn't expect a single guy to pay for it all himself, we are gaining just as much as he is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We have found it the other way round. So many single guys just seem to look to the couple to sort the accommodation. Always refreshing to find a guy who is a bit more proactive.

Mrs"

I guess the key thing here is communication and an open willingness to share arrangements and costs. It just seems good manners to me!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think that couples use single guys so I think that they should pay at least half if using a hotel room!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always pay and don't have a problem if the F or MF do not offer to share the cost.

I also enjoy leaving a deposit!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A female on here just wants a free meal out and she’s anybody’s lol

And men to pay for a hotel room!! "

If you can do it! More seriously, isn't this situation little different than the guy paying for sex? Not exactly swinging.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I always pay and don't have a problem if the F or MF do not offer to share the cost.

I also enjoy leaving a deposit!! "

. That's choice though ...

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I think the single man should at least offer to pay. Men earn more than women, on average, and frankly single men benefit the most from meeting a couple.

I pay when i meet a special lady separately (we also meet with our partners).

Well her husband pays when he meets my wife too!

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"Is it just me or are other guys surprised (and a bit disappointed) that some ladies and couples expect the guy to pay for a hotel if he can't accommodate?

I just wonder what others think? "

It's a good way of checking if he's serious about meeting, and/or cheating. We always offer to pay half back.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Role play

The single guy plays the role of a single guy wanting to pay for a hotel room.

We would reciprocate by playing a couple who will accom for a single guy

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Whilst it's very noble that some here are saying they offer to pay that's out of personal choice and not expectation on the part of the person they are meeting so is slightly different from what the OP was referring to.

Personally I prefer to split any costs down the middle, it removes any sense of obligation for anything specific to happen, or sense of entitlement that might be inferred if one person pays for everything.

In fact I'd go as far as to say that if someone I was meeting offered to pick up the bill I'd insist on going halves regardless.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think the single man should at least offer to pay. Men earn more than women, on average, and frankly single men benefit the most from meeting a couple.

I pay when i meet a special lady separately (we also meet with our partners).

Well her husband pays when he meets my wife too!"

Fair enough ...!!! It's sharing! It's probably a little different when you get to know someone too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Role play

The single guy plays the role of a single guy wanting to pay for a hotel room.

We would reciprocate by playing a couple who will accom for a single guy

Sorted!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Whilst it's very noble that some here are saying they offer to pay that's out of personal choice and not expectation on the part of the person they are meeting so is slightly different from what the OP was referring to.

In fact I'd go as far as to say that if someone I was meeting offered to pick up the bill I'd insist on going halves regardless. "

That's absolutely the heart of it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Is it just me or are other guys surprised (and a bit disappointed) that some ladies and couples expect the guy to pay for a hotel if he can't accommodate?

I just wonder what others think?

It's a good way of checking if he's serious about meeting, and/or cheating. We always offer to pay half back."

Interesting point ... but how does he know you're serious?

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By *uited staffs guyMan over a year ago

staffordshire

Depends who’s staying there!

I usually pay as I want the room and will be staying there as well and would’ve paid for it without the meet - therefore if a lady comes there, and even if she stayed, I wouldn’t think of asking for anything

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Depends who’s staying there!

Fair enough!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for all the responses to this ... just interesting to get a feel for everyone's views on this ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think the single man should at least offer to pay. Men earn more than women, on average, and frankly single men benefit the most from meeting a couple."

We think differently to that.

We benefit just as much when we meet a single guy as what the guy does.

We can accommodate but if we was doing hotel meets then we would rather just go 1/2's with someone.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"Is it just me or are other guys surprised (and a bit disappointed) that some ladies and couples expect the guy to pay for a hotel if he can't accommodate?

I just wonder what others think?

It's a good way of checking if he's serious about meeting, and/or cheating. We always offer to pay half back.

Interesting point ... but how does he know you're serious?"

From the many happy verifications.

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By *exymidscouple2017Couple over a year ago

Birmingham

We never expect anyone to pay for our room but if they are staying then they pay for their own room and we are always happy to meet half way within reason, we are all there to enjoy each other so we are happy to pay our own way

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I think the single man should at least offer to pay. Men earn more than women, on average, and frankly single men benefit the most from meeting a couple.

We think differently to that.

We benefit just as much when we meet a single guy as what the guy does.

We can accommodate but if we was doing hotel meets then we would rather just go 1/2's with someone."

Depends on your dynamic i guess. When i (husband) attend, i am primarily there for my wifes safety. I do enjoy watching but won't pretend i wouldn't rather be meeting a couple. Plus in a 2-3 hour session, it's not all action and who wanks for 3 hours anyway.

I am old fashioned though, i don't split meals with women myself. Men and women aren't the same. I do hold doors for them. I don't want to meet hairy armpit feminists who insist on trying to be a man.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"How about offering to pay at the start and then if you’re any good you can reclaim the balance afterwards?

I’ve done this before and it reduced my bill from £40 to £39.85

You stud.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Half the costs if you're meeting a single person,divide by three if it's a couple.

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By *ickawitchCouple over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

If we meet in a hotel the cost is shared. I would never expect a man to pay it all - unless he is already staying in a hotel for business or something

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

It depends. If we are meeting a guy our own age, we would expect him either to accommodate or provide a hotel.

On the other hand, Katie is currently seeing a hot young guy who has no money, so she pays.

Swings and roundabouts etc...

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By *anmansanMan over a year ago

London

I’m happy to pay... means I don’t feel guilty having a nap after ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It depends. If we are meeting a guy our own age, we would expect him either to accommodate or provide a hotel.

On the other hand, Katie is currently seeing a hot young guy who has no money, so she pays.

Swings and roundabouts etc... "

Older = lots of money; Young = no money? Big assumption?

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By *andm288Couple over a year ago

oxford

We have not done the Hotel meet thing as of yet but if we did we would happily pay half the cost of the room

However we would expect the single guy to book & show booking confirmation before committing to a meet then happy to pay half of the cost

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If we meet in a hotel the cost is shared. I would never expect a man to pay it all - unless he is already staying in a hotel for business or something

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If someone expects you to pay for a hotel and you don’t want to then just don’t meet them.... what’s the issue?"

The issue is if he doesn't pay he gets no pussy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Half the costs if you're meeting a single person,divide by three if it's a couple."

The ideal ...!

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By *exi7000Couple over a year ago

London

We expect the guy to pay for the room. Nothing to do with affordability, but guarantee the following:

1. The guy will show up, as he already paid for the room. We always ask for proof in advance. If he doesn't we have a room for us, atleast;

2. Discourage the avarage Joe contacting us.(Yes, I know how does that sound). We prefer guys who can afford to spend £150-200 for a room, and have beeter lifestyle so we can have decent conversation, without trying to offend someone.

3. Less likely to meet guys in a relationship, as they are ussualy more worried about theirs spare cash and worried theirs partner might find out they spend family money.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If someone expects you to pay for a hotel and you don’t want to then just don’t meet them.... what’s the issue?

The issue is if he doesn't pay he gets no pussy. "

Sounds like prostitution!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can’t accom and if the guy can’t either, I will always offer to pay half of a hotel room. If that is declined I will always make sure I buy a few drinks.

Whilst it’s lovely to be treated by a man, I wouldn’t expect it without offering.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't do hotel meets because I can't afford to pay towards one xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would add, the one thing that does pee me off is if I’m asked to arrange it all. I’m happy to pay half, but at least show willing by booking it etc.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m happy to pay... means I don’t feel guilty having a nap after ??"

There is that ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We expect the guy to pay for the room. Nothing to do with affordability, but guarantee the following:

1. The guy will show up, as he already paid for the room. We always ask for proof in advance. If he doesn't we have a room for us, atleast;

3. Less likely to meet guys in a relationship, as they are ussualy more worried about theirs spare cash and worried theirs partner might find out they spend family money. "

If guys have that sort of money and are happy to pay then well done. I wonder if it's similar outside of London?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How about offering to pay at the start and then if you’re any good you can reclaim the balance afterwards?

I’ve done this before and it reduced my bill from £40 to £39.85

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If someone expects you to pay for a hotel and you don’t want to then just don’t meet them.... what’s the issue?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I can’t accom and if the guy can’t either, I will always offer to pay half of a hotel room. If that is declined I will always make sure I buy a few drinks.

Whilst it’s lovely to be treated by a man, I wouldn’t expect it without offering. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I would add, the one thing that does pee me off is if I’m asked to arrange it all. I’m happy to pay half, but at least show willing by booking it etc. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We expect a single guy to provide the accom for a meet if he is willing to book and pay for a room that's his choice same as its his choice if he doesn't want to meet us but bitching about it is unnecessary just move on.

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By *exi7000Couple over a year ago

London

"We expect the guy to pay for the room. Nothing to do with affordability, but guarantee the following:

1. The guy will show up, as he already paid for the room. We always ask for proof in advance. If he doesn't we have a room for us, atleast;

3. Less likely to meet guys in a relationship, as they are ussualy more worried about theirs spare cash and worried theirs partner might find out they spend family money.

If guys have that sort of money and are happy to pay then well done. I wonder if it's similar outside of London? "

You will be surprised. Fir example: city guy is easily earning over £500 a day. Can't comment for outside if London.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We expect a single guy to provide the accom for a meet if he is willing to book and pay for a room that's his choice same as its his choice if he doesn't want to meet us but bitching about it is unnecessary just move on. "

I think we were having a discussion rather than a bitch? You're right though, it's about choice.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"It depends. If we are meeting a guy our own age, we would expect him either to accommodate or provide a hotel.

On the other hand, Katie is currently seeing a hot young guy who has no money, so she pays.

Swings and roundabouts etc...

Older = lots of money; Young = no money? Big assumption?"

But broadly correct.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We expect the guy to pay for the room. Nothing to do with affordability, but guarantee the following:

1. The guy will show up, as he already paid for the room. We always ask for proof in advance. If he doesn't we have a room for us, atleast;

3. Less likely to meet guys in a relationship, as they are ussualy more worried about theirs spare cash and worried theirs partner might find out they spend family money.

If guys have that sort of money and are happy to pay then well done. I wonder if it's similar outside of London?

You will be surprised. Fir example: city guy is easily earning over £500 a day. Can't comment for outside if London. "

I can believe it! Probably less likely elsewhere ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We expect the guy to pay for the room. Nothing to do with affordability, but guarantee the following:

1. The guy will show up, as he already paid for the room. We always ask for proof in advance. If he doesn't we have a room for us, atleast;

3. Less likely to meet guys in a relationship, as they are ussualy more worried about theirs spare cash and worried theirs partner might find out they spend family money. "

If you converse like you type, the guy isn't going to get a decent conversation

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"We expect the guy to pay for the room. Nothing to do with affordability, but guarantee the following:

1. The guy will show up, as he already paid for the room. We always ask for proof in advance. If he doesn't we have a room for us, atleast;

3. Less likely to meet guys in a relationship, as they are ussualy more worried about theirs spare cash and worried theirs partner might find out they spend family money.

If guys have that sort of money and are happy to pay then well done. I wonder if it's similar outside of London?

You will be surprised. Fir example: city guy is easily earning over £500 a day. Can't comment for outside if London. "

South East here, ~£175 for a hotel = totally reasonable (especially given how hot _exi7000 is

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It depends. If we are meeting a guy our own age, we would expect him either to accommodate or provide a hotel.

On the other hand, Katie is currently seeing a hot young guy who has no money, so she pays.

Swings and roundabouts etc...

Older = lots of money; Young = no money? Big assumption?

But broadly correct. "

Broadly ... but everyone has different circumstances. Still not sure why you think he should pay it all though?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks again for all the comments. Interesting discussion.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"It depends. If we are meeting a guy our own age, we would expect him either to accommodate or provide a hotel.

On the other hand, Katie is currently seeing a hot young guy who has no money, so she pays.

Swings and roundabouts etc...

Older = lots of money; Young = no money? Big assumption?

But broadly correct.

Broadly ... but everyone has different circumstances. Still not sure why you think he should pay it all though?"

We can't accommodate because of kids at home. We are quite happy to go to a guys place if he can accommodate, if he can't we would expect him to get a hotel.

Most guys who are serious will do that. The reality is that, as one of us has a vagina and we are happy to meet single guys, we have the power in this situation. You can say in an abstract sense that's not fair, but until such time as women are into swinging as much as men it's the reality.

As I say, if we fancy someone and we genuinely think he can't afford a hotel, we will pay. So, in effect, the well off guys are subsidising the less well off men..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That’s disgusting you are using a single guy and you expect him to pay

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"That’s disgusting you are using a single guy and you expect him to pay "

We don't drag him kicking and screaming into a hotel and then grab his wallet to pay for it....

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I would add, the one thing that does pee me off is if I’m asked to arrange it all. I’m happy to pay half, but at least show willing by booking it etc. "

Whilst I'm more than happy to book a room and have done so - I always give the option of booking it to the person I am meeting, which puts the room in their name and provides additional reassurance they have somewhere to stay in the unlikely event I'm unable to show up due to last minute circumstances beyond my control (which would of course be communicated as soon as they happened).

As for those that expect the single guy to pay the whole cost, as I said in an earlier post, it wouldn't be for me and I'd rather have no meet - the experience is shared, therefore to should the costs to my mind.

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By *exi7000Couple over a year ago

London

"We expect the guy to pay for the room. Nothing to do with affordability, but guarantee the following:

1. The guy will show up, as he already paid for the room. We always ask for proof in advance. If he doesn't we have a room for us, atleast;

3. Less likely to meet guys in a relationship, as they are ussualy more worried about theirs spare cash and worried theirs partner might find out they spend family money.

If you converse like you type, the guy isn't going to get a decent conversation

One thing is for sure: you will never find out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think a true gentleman will offer to pay, I would offer half, if refused I would then buy drinks etc not because I feel I should pay my way, it’s just about being polite isn’t it?

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

We are lucky enough to not have to worry about spending £150 or whatever on a hotel, so this is not primarily about money. We have in the past done gangbangs, and parties where we have provided venues and not expected any contributions.

For Katie, it's about being valued I suppose. If a guy who could afford it quibbles about hotel costs that's going to be a turn off for her. If a guy genuinely can't afford it, that's different.

We have certainly paid out more than we have "gained" venue wise. And of course, our way of doing things might turn off some guys, which is fine.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It depends. If we are meeting a guy our own age, we would expect him either to accommodate or provide a hotel.

On the other hand, Katie is currently seeing a hot young guy who has no money, so she pays.

Swings and roundabouts etc...

Older = lots of money; Young = no money? Big assumption?

But broadly correct.

Broadly ... but everyone has different circumstances. Still not sure why you think he should pay it all though?

We can't accommodate because of kids at home. We are quite happy to go to a guys place if he can accommodate, if he can't we would expect him to get a hotel.

As I say, if we fancy someone and we genuinely think he can't afford a hotel, we will pay. So, in effect, the well off guys are subsidising the less well off men.. "

There's a real Capital v. Labour power theme here!! Pussy v. Affordability!

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"We expect the guy to pay for the room. Nothing to do with affordability, but guarantee the following:

1. The guy will show up, as he already paid for the room. We always ask for proof in advance. If he doesn't we have a room for us, atleast;

3. Less likely to meet guys in a relationship, as they are ussualy more worried about theirs spare cash and worried theirs partner might find out they spend family money.

If guys have that sort of money and are happy to pay then well done. I wonder if it's similar outside of London?

You will be surprised. Fir example: city guy is easily earning over £500 a day. Can't comment for outside if London. "

Blimey I knew Travelodge's were more expensive in London but didn't realise they were that much more!!

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"It depends. If we are meeting a guy our own age, we would expect him either to accommodate or provide a hotel.

On the other hand, Katie is currently seeing a hot young guy who has no money, so she pays.

Swings and roundabouts etc...

Older = lots of money; Young = no money? Big assumption?

But broadly correct.

Broadly ... but everyone has different circumstances. Still not sure why you think he should pay it all though?

We can't accommodate because of kids at home. We are quite happy to go to a guys place if he can accommodate, if he can't we would expect him to get a hotel.

As I say, if we fancy someone and we genuinely think he can't afford a hotel, we will pay. So, in effect, the well off guys are subsidising the less well off men..

There's a real Capital v. Labour power theme here!! Pussy v. Affordability!"

It's our little contribution to the redistribution of wealth...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It depends. If we are meeting a guy our own age, we would expect him either to accommodate or provide a hotel.

On the other hand, Katie is currently seeing a hot young guy who has no money, so she pays.

Swings and roundabouts etc...

Older = lots of money; Young = no money? Big assumption?

But broadly correct.

Broadly ... but everyone has different circumstances. Still not sure why you think he should pay it all though?

We can't accommodate because of kids at home. We are quite happy to go to a guys place if he can accommodate, if he can't we would expect him to get a hotel.

As I say, if we fancy someone and we genuinely think he can't afford a hotel, we will pay. So, in effect, the well off guys are subsidising the less well off men..

There's a real Capital v. Labour power theme here!! Pussy v. Affordability!

It's our little contribution to the redistribution of wealth... "

Very noble!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We expect the guy to pay for the room. Nothing to do with affordability, but guarantee the following:

1. The guy will show up, as he already paid for the room. We always ask for proof in advance. If he doesn't we have a room for us, atleast;

3. Less likely to meet guys in a relationship, as they are ussualy more worried about theirs spare cash and worried theirs partner might find out they spend family money.

If you converse like you type, the guy isn't going to get a decent conversation

One thing is for sure: you will never find out.

Considering you don't meet my criteria, i know

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In fact I'd go as far as to say that if someone I was meeting offered to pick up the bill I'd insist on going halves regardless. "

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By *inful xWoman over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

I'd feel very uneasy meeting someone and them picking up the bill. If we both want to meet, we both need to pay

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Always offer to go halves. I'd feel uncomfortable expecting the other party to pay.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't expect it, but if he wants to and that's how he prefers to accommodate, that's ok by me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I expect someone who doesn't accommodate to not message me, as I don't either.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I’m meeting a single female, I will pay for everything.

If I’m meeting a couple , we split everything....

I will host a single female in my home , but never a couple....

Nothing personal against couples. I just can’t concentrate on having sex with the female if the male is wondering around my place....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How about offering to pay at the start and then if you’re any good you can reclaim the balance afterwards?

I’ve done this before and it reduced my bill from £40 to £39.85

Oh god, my bills would be doubled in such case

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

If some guy "told" me he was paying for everything it would put me off.

I want everything to be on a level footing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If I’m meeting a single female, I will pay for everything.

If I’m meeting a couple , we split everything....

I will host a single female in my home , but never a couple....

Nothing personal against couples. I just can’t concentrate on having sex with the female if the male is wondering around my place...."

If you are meeting a couple, it’s highly unlikely the husband will be wandering round whilst you fuck his wife!

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If I’m meeting a single female, I will pay for everything.

If I’m meeting a couple , we split everything....

I will host a single female in my home , but never a couple....

Nothing personal against couples. I just can’t concentrate on having sex with the female if the male is wondering around my place....

If you are meeting a couple, it’s highly unlikely the husband will be wandering round whilst you fuck his wife!

Mrs "

Very true.... but the way my apartment is set up. If you go into my bathroom you have access to the whole place... I have spare bedrooms and a office with sensitive materials.

It’s just one of my pet peeves...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Surely it's half each? You are all there for the same reason which you agreed to,so only fair unless someone offers and says you get the next one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well every meet costs us money. About £20 in fuel costs plus £30 in food and drink plus the people we meet costs them money and time travelling here.

All meets involve expense of some kind. Whenever we stay with someone on the mainland we always cough up something to cover expenses, it's only common courtesy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This subject does amuse me.

It doesn't matter what we individually think but whether our ways are compatible with a potential meet.

Take me for example, i won't accommodate due to being a single parent. I cannot contribute to hotels as my income is extremely low (much less than benefits), therefore my meet has to accommodate one way or another.

No compatibility with the above = no meet. No pussy power play, no holding to ransom, just circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This subject does amuse me.

It doesn't matter what we individually think but whether our ways are compatible with a potential meet.

No compatibility with the above = no meet. No pussy power play, no holding to ransom, just circumstances."

You’re in a much different boat than a single guy meeting a couple or female.

As a single female both couples and single men will treat you as a lady.... and not ask you to contribute towards anything...

Now if you were meeting a single female, then that is a different story...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This subject does amuse me.

It doesn't matter what we individually think but whether our ways are compatible with a potential meet.

This exactly. I don't understand why people feel the need to question the way others do things. So what if others have different expectations etc. If they don't meet yours then you aren't compatible. The end.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"This subject does amuse me.

It doesn't matter what we individually think but whether our ways are compatible with a potential meet.

No compatibility with the above = no meet. No pussy power play, no holding to ransom, just circumstances.

You’re in a much different boat than a single guy meeting a couple or female.

As a single female both couples and single men will treat you as a lady.... and not ask you to contribute towards anything...

Now if you were meeting a single female, then that is a different story..."

Why? Is there a Fab tariff system?!! It's unclear to me how Cupcake would suddenly be able to contribute if it was a female?

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By *ldhillhotwifeCouple over a year ago

Old Hill

Soon learnt that if the guy books and pays for a hotel room he is likely to turn up.

Happy to pay our share but will offer up the cash once we are all there.

Premier Inn isn't that expensive!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always offer to pay half but had guys who have refused to accept me paying my share of a hotel. They say that my outgoings prior to a meet are already high (I supply the condoms due to latex allergy, I buy new outfits, stockings, I take toys etc etc) but I always do offer. I also take it in turns to pay if we are having drinks etc but I do like it when he gets the first drink in as that just feels more gentlemanly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This subject does amuse me.

It doesn't matter what we individually think but whether our ways are compatible with a potential meet.

No compatibility with the above = no meet. No pussy power play, no holding to ransom, just circumstances.

You’re in a much different boat than a single guy meeting a couple or female.

As a single female both couples and single men will treat you as a lady.... and not ask you to contribute towards anything..."

If you read responses that differ from yours, you'd realise that is not true.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always offer to pay half but had guys who have refused to accept me paying my share of a hotel. They say that my outgoings prior to a meet are already high (I supply the condoms due to latex allergy, I buy new outfits, stockings, I take toys etc etc) but I always do offer. I also take it in turns to pay if we are having drinks etc but I do like it when he gets the first drink in as that just feels more gentlemanly. "

I cannot afford new outfits, but agree about the condoms and stockings

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We usually meet at our place (only ever after a social first). If we met in a hotel we’d pay. We believe in treating single guys with respect and it’s our treat. He’s my treat. ??

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By *ickawitchCouple over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

"We usually meet at our place (only ever after a social first). If we met in a hotel we’d pay. We believe in treating single guys with respect and it’s our treat. He’s my treat. ??"

I love this

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple over a year ago

South Wales

"Is it just me or are other guys surprised (and a bit disappointed) that some ladies and couples expect the guy to pay for a hotel if he can't accommodate?

I just wonder what others think? "

We always assume we're booking and stumping up for the room. This is our fantasy we're indulging and the lucky bloke is the enabler.

However, it's bloody annoying when we book and there's a no show with no warning or apology. That tests our patience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If I’m meeting a single female, I will pay for everything.

If I’m meeting a couple , we split everything....

I will host a single female in my home , but never a couple....

Nothing personal against couples. I just can’t concentrate on having sex with the female if the male is wondering around my place....

If you are meeting a couple, it’s highly unlikely the husband will be wandering round whilst you fuck his wife!

Mrs "

You're assuming everyone is honest and trustworthy. Being a husband doesn't make you trustable.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i was asked once to pay for a meal and hotel from a couple who were visiting Liverpool a while back

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By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

"Is it just me or are other guys surprised (and a bit disappointed) that some ladies and couples expect the guy to pay for a hotel if he can't accommodate?

I just wonder what others think? "

Tbh op- At the moment I’m not financially in a position to fork out for hotel rooms (single parent on minimum wage!). However - after a successful social I’m happy to meet at the chaps house or a club (most clubs are cheaper than hotels if you go in as a couple). I’ll also, when I know someone well, accommodate at mine (it’s my children’s home so I obviously have to know them pretty well!).

If a guy wants to stay in a hotel room I do have to explain that hotels aren’t in my budget - but stress that, if they still want to get one, I’m more than happy with a budget hotel as long as it’s clean and has an ensuite. I certainly don’t expect guys to pay for expensive meals or luxury hotels! I’ll also always take a bottle of wine and glasses (hate drinking from plastic cups) along as a small contribution! Xx

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By *ickawitchCouple over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

"i was asked once to pay for a meal and hotel from a couple who were visiting Liverpool a while back

That is sooooooo cheeky

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"If I’m meeting a single female, I will pay for everything.

If I’m meeting a couple , we split everything....

I will host a single female in my home , but never a couple....

Nothing personal against couples. I just can’t concentrate on having sex with the female if the male is wondering around my place....

If you are meeting a couple, it’s highly unlikely the husband will be wandering round whilst you fuck his wife!

Mrs

You're assuming everyone is honest and trustworthy. Being a husband doesn't make you trustable."

Exactly, according to the forum most of them are cheaters anyway.

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By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

"i was asked once to pay for a meal and hotel from a couple who were visiting Liverpool a while back

That is sooooooo cheeky

Absolutely!!

(*Making a mental note though! #cheapholidaysdotcom

)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i was asked once to pay for a meal and hotel from a couple who were visiting Liverpool a while back

That is sooooooo cheeky

nothing surprises me anymore on this site...... needless to say i told them to do one to which they replied “your loss”, don’t think so somehow

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By *elbyfuntimesMan over a year ago

Selby

I can't accommodate so I would book a hotel and pay quite happily locally.

But if I was to travel at least over an hour away from me I'd expect the other party to book and I would cover halve the cost as the risk of a no show is just as much from couples or single women and it would cost me the travel to get there. If they booked and I unable to attend then I'd offer to pay their costs.

Suppose it's all a risk for all parties incase either side is a no show.

But as has being said communication is the key factor here.

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By *allySlinkyWoman over a year ago

Leeds

I will host a single female in my home , but never a couple....

Nothing personal against couples. I just can’t concentrate on having sex with the female if the male is wondering around my place....

If you are meeting a couple, it’s highly unlikely the husband will be wandering round whilst you fuck his wife!

Mrs

Very true.... but the way my apartment is set up. If you go into my bathroom you have access to the whole place... I have spare bedrooms and a office with sensitive materials.

It’s just one of my pet peeves..."

Buy a lockable filing cabinet

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By *elbyfuntimesMan over a year ago

Selby

Also I treat meets like I do when I go on a date so mostly would pay for most things if not all if I was to meet a single female.

But if meeting a couple of expect halve the costs met for hotels as their needs are getting catered for as much as mine.

But it all comes down to trust with all the no show issues for everyone.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

I love how many people deliberately pretend not to understand the perceived link between money and status. Sorry but when you need to haggle over the cost of a hotel room then you are indicating you are a low status male. I'm not saying that's how the world should be, but that's how it is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP I totally agree with you. This is not a dating site so why should the man have to pay for everything. There's too many high maintenance princesses on here that think the man should pay for everything

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Anyone ever came across fabber who want you to pay to meet them??

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"I love how many people deliberately pretend not to understand the perceived link between money and status. Sorry but when you need to haggle over the cost of a hotel room then you are indicating you are a low status male. I'm not saying that's how the world should be, but that's how it is. "

Not necessarily. As I say, if a guy is young, hot and broke, we will pay. However, if a guy who looks like he can afford a hotel room argues about the cost of a hotel room, it's a turn off.

There's also, to us, no clear link between status and money. If someone is all about displaying his ownership of a Porsche and a Rolex, we'd run a mile.

Not everyone buys into the whole socio biological status thing.

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By *exi7000Couple over a year ago

London

Can't agree more. Sometimes those guys shoot themselves in the foot, haggling over a hotel cost. That only proofs that most are not swingers and are here for a quick, free fuck.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Not necessarily. As I say, if a guy is young, hot and broke, we will pay. However, if a guy who looks like he can afford a hotel room argues about the cost of a hotel room, it's a turn off.

There's also, to us, no clear link between status and money. If someone is all about displaying his ownership of a Porsche and a Rolex, we'd run a mile.

Not everyone buys into the whole socio biological status thing. "

Not every individual buys into it, correct, but the broader correlation is undeniable; meaning that if you want to give yourself a reasonable probability... then pull an extra shift at work and stump up for a premier inn.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

Not necessarily. As I say, if a guy is young, hot and broke, we will pay. However, if a guy who looks like he can afford a hotel room argues about the cost of a hotel room, it's a turn off.

There's also, to us, no clear link between status and money. If someone is all about displaying his ownership of a Porsche and a Rolex, we'd run a mile.

Not everyone buys into the whole socio biological status thing.

I'd agree you're lessening your chances if you argue about paying for a hotel room, but that's to do with general supply and demand. Given the ratios on here, if you won't pay for a hotel room there are plenty of single men who will.

I think most couples would be with us and find guys who conspicuously display wealth a turn off rather than a turn on. Hence wealth doesn't equal status in the swinging world.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Can't agree more. Sometimes those guys shoot themselves in the foot, haggling over a hotel cost. That only proofs that most are not swingers and are here for a quick, free fuck. "

Guys are quick to complain about the way people judge them if they don't have money, but the reality is that status is indicated in many ways. For example, these same guys don't complain that women also prefer taller guys, on average. Especially if they happen to be tall.

Some status indicators are within the control or a male and others aren't. But guys who aren't even willing to work on the factors they can control, would be better served to stay home and have a wank.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Not necessarily. As I say, if a guy is young, hot and broke, we will pay. However, if a guy who looks like he can afford a hotel room argues about the cost of a hotel room, it's a turn off.

There's also, to us, no clear link between status and money. If someone is all about displaying his ownership of a Porsche and a Rolex, we'd run a mile.

Not everyone buys into the whole socio biological status thing.

I think most couples would be with us and find guys who conspicuously display wealth a turn off rather than a turn on. Hence wealth doesn't equal status in the swinging world. "

I'd wager that if a single man voluntarily booked and paid for the room in advance, without bitching about it. Turned up, clean, smelling good and put in a decent performance. Then I'd estimate 60% of couples would offer to split the cost with him before leaving. Do you see the difference?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We dont' really think about it. If somebody is coming to our house ten it's moot and if we are travelling looking for sex then we boo our own hotel. It is a question of having a base to invite people to.

If a guy has a house or hotel and asks us to cough up we would not see him - it is indicative of an approach centred on what is "owed".

I guess if we were arranging to meet somebody for a night of sex then we'd share the cost but that is to be agreed up front.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

Not necessarily. As I say, if a guy is young, hot and broke, we will pay. However, if a guy who looks like he can afford a hotel room argues about the cost of a hotel room, it's a turn off.

There's also, to us, no clear link between status and money. If someone is all about displaying his ownership of a Porsche and a Rolex, we'd run a mile.

Not everyone buys into the whole socio biological status thing.

I think most couples would be with us and find guys who conspicuously display wealth a turn off rather than a turn on. Hence wealth doesn't equal status in the swinging world.

Yes, I would agree with that, but I am not quite sure what your point is. All you are saying is that if a bloke is considerate, attractive and a good shag, couples will like that. That's obviously true.

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By *exi7000Couple over a year ago

London

Not necessarily. As I say, if a guy is young, hot and broke, we will pay. However, if a guy who looks like he can afford a hotel room argues about the cost of a hotel room, it's a turn off.

There's also, to us, no clear link between status and money. If someone is all about displaying his ownership of a Porsche and a Rolex, we'd run a mile.

Not everyone buys into the whole socio biological status thing.

I think most couples would be with us and find guys who conspicuously display wealth a turn off rather than a turn on. Hence wealth doesn't equal status in the swinging world. "

Deliberately showing wealth is definitely turn off and social status is meaningless in the swinging world. For our 15 years in the lifestyle we have met people who are in the top 0.5% of the wealth and also people who are near broke. However we have found that the wealthier they are, the less show offs they do, and vice versa.

But we all have to agree on something: the wealthier someone is, they will be more traveled, better educated, with more interesting stories to tell, and not to forget the motivational side of it. For us the social side is more important than theirs abs, or huge dick etc.

A guy who spends his evenings in the local pub only, will offer just pub stories and that's it. Mrs Mexi will loose interest quicker Trumps building the wall.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can't agree more. Sometimes those guys shoot themselves in the foot, haggling over a hotel cost. That only proofs that most are not swingers and are here for a quick, free fuck. "

What rubbish!

Just because one might have less money than another and can't really afford a hotel it don't make them any less a swinger!

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

Not necessarily. As I say, if a guy is young, hot and broke, we will pay. However, if a guy who looks like he can afford a hotel room argues about the cost of a hotel room, it's a turn off.

There's also, to us, no clear link between status and money. If someone is all about displaying his ownership of a Porsche and a Rolex, we'd run a mile.

Not everyone buys into the whole socio biological status thing.

I think most couples would be with us and find guys who conspicuously display wealth a turn off rather than a turn on. Hence wealth doesn't equal status in the swinging world.

A guy who spends his evenings in the local pub only, will offer just pub stories and that's it. Mrs Mexi will loose interest quicker Trumps building the wall.

I'd disagree that wealth equates to better education or being more interesting. To make serious money you have to dedicate your life to money making in your chosen field . In our experience that tends to make you a bit boring outside that field.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Not necessarily. As I say, if a guy is young, hot and broke, we will pay. However, if a guy who looks like he can afford a hotel room argues about the cost of a hotel room, it's a turn off.

There's also, to us, no clear link between status and money. If someone is all about displaying his ownership of a Porsche and a Rolex, we'd run a mile.

Not everyone buys into the whole socio biological status thing.

I think most couples would be with us and find guys who conspicuously display wealth a turn off rather than a turn on. Hence wealth doesn't equal status in the swinging world.

My point is that forcing the issue before the couple have any emotional investment in you (i.e. when you are just a fab profile to them) makes you look low status and they are never going to regret not meeting you. You could achieve the same goal (i.e. splitting the bill) by acting like a high status male by running the risk of having to occsssionally foot the whole bill.

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By *exi7000Couple over a year ago

London

"Can't agree more. Sometimes those guys shoot themselves in the foot, haggling over a hotel cost. That only proofs that most are not swingers and are here for a quick, free fuck.

What rubbish!

Just because one might have less money than another and can't really afford a hotel it don't make them any less a swinger!"

You are missing the point. I maid a point about guys HAGGLING, not the rest.

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By *exi7000Couple over a year ago

London

Not necessarily. As I say, if a guy is young, hot and broke, we will pay. However, if a guy who looks like he can afford a hotel room argues about the cost of a hotel room, it's a turn off.

There's also, to us, no clear link between status and money. If someone is all about displaying his ownership of a Porsche and a Rolex, we'd run a mile.

Not everyone buys into the whole socio biological status thing.

I think most couples would be with us and find guys who conspicuously display wealth a turn off rather than a turn on. Hence wealth doesn't equal status in the swinging world.

A guy who spends his evenings in the local pub only, will offer just pub stories and that's it. Mrs Mexi will loose interest quicker Trumps building the wall.

Well here is the part to mention that boring is subjective.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple over a year ago

bedford

Will the so called single guy tell the wife he's meeting a couple at hotel. We will only meet single guys at hotels now if on holiday or hotels booked through work and we will have a fun night on the company lol. We got caught out once and never again by a no show. It cost us husbands a lot of money to keep our wives happy and looking good. And sexy gear don't come cheap . But we mainly meet single guys at club anyways sooth parties pay same amount for good night out and plenty fun. I have paid once for wife to go on solo meet with a guy we trust but that was one off treat for her

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

Not necessarily. As I say, if a guy is young, hot and broke, we will pay. However, if a guy who looks like he can afford a hotel room argues about the cost of a hotel room, it's a turn off.

There's also, to us, no clear link between status and money. If someone is all about displaying his ownership of a Porsche and a Rolex, we'd run a mile.

Not everyone buys into the whole socio biological status thing.

I think most couples would be with us and find guys who conspicuously display wealth a turn off rather than a turn on. Hence wealth doesn't equal status in the swinging world.

I think we agree except that what you you call "low status" I would call "less attractive" As I say, wealth per se doesn't bother us.

I think you can also take from this thread that lots of women and couples would positively reject a guy who insisted on paying as they think that would put them under an obligation to the guy.

When we have organised gangbangs we take the same view. Katie wants to be able to stop at any point, but if the guys have all paid toward the room, she would feel obliged to them. Hence we always bear the cost in that situation.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Not necessarily. As I say, if a guy is young, hot and broke, we will pay. However, if a guy who looks like he can afford a hotel room argues about the cost of a hotel room, it's a turn off.

There's also, to us, no clear link between status and money. If someone is all about displaying his ownership of a Porsche and a Rolex, we'd run a mile.

Not everyone buys into the whole socio biological status thing.

I think most couples would be with us and find guys who conspicuously display wealth a turn off rather than a turn on. Hence wealth doesn't equal status in the swinging world.

A guy who spends his evenings in the local pub only, will offer just pub stories and that's it. Mrs Mexi will loose interest quicker Trumps building the wall.

Statistically speaking, I'm afraid you are very wrong. Education is expensive, not just the literal fees, but parental investment via time. There's a reason that wealthier families, on average, have smaller family sizes!

Travelling will make you more interesting to the majority of people. Technically you can travel on a small budget or work while you travel, but again the correlation is that simple minded folk simply aren't attracted to travelling. I know a guy who refused an expenses paid trip to China because their food was "muck" and he had a strong preference for bangers and mash.

You're right about making "serious money" but given the tax rates in this country, you can live pretty comfortably once you get about ~£35k a year and do everything i believe _exi7000 is referring to (e.g. travel, attend formal education, persue a hobby).

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

Not necessarily. As I say, if a guy is young, hot and broke, we will pay. However, if a guy who looks like he can afford a hotel room argues about the cost of a hotel room, it's a turn off.

There's also, to us, no clear link between status and money. If someone is all about displaying his ownership of a Porsche and a Rolex, we'd run a mile.

Not everyone buys into the whole socio biological status thing.

I think most couples would be with us and find guys who conspicuously display wealth a turn off rather than a turn on. Hence wealth doesn't equal status in the swinging world.

A guy who spends his evenings in the local pub only, will offer just pub stories and that's it. Mrs Mexi will loose interest quicker Trumps building the wall.

Well here is the part to mention that boring is subjective. "

Indeed, I was just making the point that you can't equate wealth with being interesting or educated.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Can't agree more. Sometimes those guys shoot themselves in the foot, haggling over a hotel cost. That only proofs that most are not swingers and are here for a quick, free fuck.

What rubbish!

Just because one might have less money than another and can't really afford a hotel it don't make them any less a swinger!

You are missing the point. I maid a point about guys HAGGLING, not the rest. "

I guess it depends if by haggling you mean a guy expecting the room cost to be equally shared, or if the cost is shared for it to be at a hotel that is affordable to everyone involved? Because I certainly would and it doesn't make me any more or less of a swinger, nor does it mean I'm here for a quick free fuck.

The way I see it, it's a shared experience and therefore why should I be left out of pocket as a result just because I happen to be a solo male? It's not a privilege I've been afforded by a couple or a single woman because they're better than me - it's a privilege for ALL concerned to be sharing that experience.

If someone "expected" me to pick up the tab for a meet, to me it would be akin to paying for the experience the same as visiting a prostitute and would therefore not be for me.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

Not necessarily. As I say, if a guy is young, hot and broke, we will pay. However, if a guy who looks like he can afford a hotel room argues about the cost of a hotel room, it's a turn off.

There's also, to us, no clear link between status and money. If someone is all about displaying his ownership of a Porsche and a Rolex, we'd run a mile.

Not everyone buys into the whole socio biological status thing.

I think most couples would be with us and find guys who conspicuously display wealth a turn off rather than a turn on. Hence wealth doesn't equal status in the swinging world.

A guy who spends his evenings in the local pub only, will offer just pub stories and that's it. Mrs Mexi will loose interest quicker Trumps building the wall.

As I say, I was talking about serious money. £35,000 is only slightly above the average wage in London.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

As I say, I was talking about serious money. £35,000 is only slightly above the average wage in London. "

Yes it is, taking and international and or long-term historical perspective; even average earning people live like relative kings and queens in this country. Hence the unwillingness to pay for a hotel room is even more baffling to me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can't agree more. Sometimes those guys shoot themselves in the foot, haggling over a hotel cost. That only proofs that most are not swingers and are here for a quick, free fuck. "

"What rubbish!

Just because one might have less money than another and can't really afford a hotel it don't make them any less a swinger! "

"You are missing the point. I maid a point about guys HAGGLING, not the rest. "

I didn't miss the point,

It don't make guys or "anyone" any less a swinger if they don't have much money.

Anyway, Haggling is something is something businesses have to do every day to get a good deal so why not try it on the swinging scene

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

As I say, I was talking about serious money. £35,000 is only slightly above the average wage in London.

I don't think for a lot of people it's necessarily y about the money as such. For some, both couples and men, there's a bit of a hint of prostitution if the man bears all the costs. Lots of women and couples feel uncomfortable with that and will explicitly want to share costs.

See this thread.

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By *exi7000Couple over a year ago

London

"Can't agree more. Sometimes those guys shoot themselves in the foot, haggling over a hotel cost. That only proofs that most are not swingers and are here for a quick, free fuck.

What rubbish!

Just because one might have less money than another and can't really afford a hotel it don't make them any less a swinger!

You are missing the point. I maid a point about guys HAGGLING, not the rest.

If someone "expected" me to pick up the tab for a meet, to me it would be akin to paying for the experience the same as visiting a prostitute and would therefore not be for me."

Buddy, I mean really haggling. We had guys who have read our profile, where we clearly state what we expect, contact us, and couple of days before the meet, they start haggling. And I mean haggling.

We do not meet the guys just becouse they offer to pay for a room, or becouse we will spend few hours in a nice hotel suite, but they paying for the hotel show us commitment and dedication to the meet. Quite few tines we have booked a room, and the guy decides not to show up, so given the demand and supply, and we happened to be on the supply side, we can afford to make the rules.

Also most of the time I will also iffer to pay iur share at the end of the meet. But never before.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’d prefer to pay it to be honest. I’m uncomfortable having guys pay anything for me

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

As I say, I was talking about serious money. £35,000 is only slightly above the average wage in London.

See this thread. "

Perhaps amongst people who are ignorant of how much a few hours with a decent prostitute costs (i.e. a lot more than a hotel room!).

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By *elbyfuntimesMan over a year ago

Selby

Since when did this come about wealth and the likes lol. Surely all that matters is who books the room and who pays and what you agree. I know plenty people who earn upwards of £60k a yr and would haggle the cost of a tin of beans.

Me im.of the thinking I can't take my money with me so will spend it and enjoy life.

I earn very little at the moment due to a new business venture so because of that am I less attractive as a meet than someone who earns upwards of £35k and is less willing to spend money.

When chatting to someone on here I never ask what they earn what they own or anything I'm interested in them for their personality not their wealth.

I could put pics up showing cars and other things and make out I'm rich when I'm not.

I don't need a posh hotel room for what would be a few hours fun and then to go to sleep. So long as it's a well presented hotel room clean tidy and room to move about in I'm happy.

And if say if the other party wanted me to book a room that's potentially going to cost me upwards of £100 just for one night then yes I'd expect sex guaranteed other wise I might as well book a prostitute for less hassle and guaranteed sex.

I'm willing to make every effort for a meet but it's a two way street so the other party I would expect to make just as much an effort.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

interesting debate . If the couple arranges the date for instance do they have the right to expect the other party to pay. I'm with you on this costs should be shared .

Pleasure is shared remember...........

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

As I say, I was talking about serious money. £35,000 is only slightly above the average wage in London.

See this thread.

Perhaps amongst people who are ignorant of how much a few hours with a decent prostitute costs (i.e. a lot more than a hotel room!).

Actually, probably not. It's pretty similar in London!

Anyway, I think we are agreed that the wise guy should offer to pay, but that lots of women and couples will insist on paying their share.

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By *r TriomanMan over a year ago

Malmesbury

I think a person will do whatever they are happy to do.

I for example would pay for the hotel room but,I choose the hotel and, after the fun, I get to stay overnight; the couple are welcome to stay too but only the Mrs gets to share the bed with me, I also get the breafast and first dibs on the complimentary drink sachets, biscuits and toiletries.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I totally agree in picking up the tab it's akin to paying for a prostitute we live in a modern society with equal values . costs should be shared after all we are sharing experiences ............

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nice to see a good sensible attitude to an experience both people want so why should both people not contribute to the total cost .

well done

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I book and pay for all my hotel meets. It's my room, in the hotel of my choosing, I'm the one who stays the night, I control the length of the meet and I decide when the guy leaves. I even provide the drinks. The money I spend is worth it to avoid any risks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nice to see a good sensible attitude to an experience both people want so why should both people not contribute to the total cost .

well done

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

As I say, I was talking about serious money. £35,000 is only slightly above the average wage in London.

See this thread.

Perhaps amongst people who are ignorant of how much a few hours with a decent prostitute costs (i.e. a lot more than a hotel room!).

Actually, probably not. It's pretty similar in London!

Anyway, I think we are agreed that the wise guy should offer to pay, but that lots of women and couples will insist on paying their share.

On the latter point yes, but go browse AW if you think you can 3 hours with a decent hooker for the price of a travelodge!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

See this is why I only meet locally, I can’t accommodate because I’m a single mother so I’m obviously not going to allow new men into he house all the time, I can’t travel to others that live far away because I don’t drive, guys offer to get a hotel local to me all the time but I can’t splash out on hotels all the time and when they offer to pay the full it creates an obligation from my side so I have to turn that down too because I’m not comfortable with that either, it’s a catch 22, itd be so much easier if I could just bloody drive

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always pay my own way. I pay for my own hotel, drinks etc as there's no feeling of owing that person I'm meeting anything if we don't click face to face.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As long as we're all happy with what "we" do then there is no need to judge what "others" do, need or seek.

It would be a very boring life if we was all identical.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman over a year ago

London

"I totally agree in picking up the tab it's akin to paying for a prostitute we live in a modern society with equal values . costs should be shared after all we are sharing experiences ............"

Wow.

Just wow.

This is probably why I do not meet strangers.

And not only this.

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By *elbyfuntimesMan over a year ago

Selby

"I always pay my own way. I pay for my own hotel, drinks etc as there's no feeling of owing that person I'm meeting anything if we don't click face to face. "

Like this attitude.

Exactly that you may not even like each other when you meet up before hand.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I always pay my own way. I pay for my own hotel, drinks etc as there's no feeling of owing that person I'm meeting anything if we don't click face to face. "

Do as you like, but a real man wouldn't make you feel obligated because he bought some food and drinks. That's a manipulation technique that psychopaths use!

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

As I say, I was talking about serious money. £35,000 is only slightly above the average wage in London.

See this thread.

Perhaps amongst people who are ignorant of how much a few hours with a decent prostitute costs (i.e. a lot more than a hotel room!).

Actually, probably not. It's pretty similar in London!

Anyway, I think we are agreed that the wise guy should offer to pay, but that lots of women and couples will insist on paying their share.

On the latter point yes, but go browse AW if you think you can 3 hours with a decent hooker for the price of a travelodge!!!"

I didn't see your "few hours". Most blokes are not going to want to spend a few hours with a prostitute. They will Cum and go within the hour, which would cost them roughly the same as a London hotel room.

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By *elbyfuntimesMan over a year ago

Selby

"I always pay my own way. I pay for my own hotel, drinks etc as there's no feeling of owing that person I'm meeting anything if we don't click face to face.

Do as you like, but a real man wouldn't make you feel obligated because he bought some food and drinks. That's a manipulation technique that psychopaths use! "

But it's also manipulating to think because you have the pussy on in your corner you expect the single guy to do all the work.

But agree there should be no obligation felt by anyone when on a meet.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I always pay my own way. I pay for my own hotel, drinks etc as there's no feeling of owing that person I'm meeting anything if we don't click face to face.

Do as you like, but a real man wouldn't make you feel obligated because he bought some food and drinks. That's a manipulation technique that psychopaths use!

But it's also manipulating to think because you have the pussy on in your corner you expect the single guy to do all the work.

But agree there should be no obligation felt by anyone when on a meet."

It's not manipulation, it's an upfront condition that people can accept or reject. Clearly you don't understand the meaning of the term.

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By *elbyfuntimesMan over a year ago

Selby

"I always pay my own way. I pay for my own hotel, drinks etc as there's no feeling of owing that person I'm meeting anything if we don't click face to face.

Do as you like, but a real man wouldn't make you feel obligated because he bought some food and drinks. That's a manipulation technique that psychopaths use!

But it's also manipulating to think because you have the pussy on in your corner you expect the single guy to do all the work.

But agree there should be no obligation felt by anyone when on a meet.

It's not manipulation, it's an upfront condition that people can accept or reject. Clearly you don't understand the meaning of the term. "

Clearly you don't understand the term manipulation either.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

As I say, I was talking about serious money. £35,000 is only slightly above the average wage in London.

See this thread.

Perhaps amongst people who are ignorant of how much a few hours with a decent prostitute costs (i.e. a lot more than a hotel room!).

Actually, probably not. It's pretty similar in London!

Anyway, I think we are agreed that the wise guy should offer to pay, but that lots of women and couples will insist on paying their share.

On the latter point yes, but go browse AW if you think you can 3 hours with a decent hooker for the price of a travelodge!!!

If you believe these forums then a lot of guys want to cum and go within an hour when they meet from fab!

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By *exi7000Couple over a year ago

London

"I always pay my own way. I pay for my own hotel, drinks etc as there's no feeling of owing that person I'm meeting anything if we don't click face to face.

Do as you like, but a real man wouldn't make you feel obligated because he bought some food and drinks. That's a manipulation technique that psychopaths use! "

Absolutely. I would add that there is nothing on Earth to make me or Mrs obligated to do something and if someone is expecting it, because they paid for a room, this makes the delusional.

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By *elbyfuntimesMan over a year ago

Selby

As I say, I was talking about serious money. £35,000 is only slightly above the average wage in London.

See this thread.

Perhaps amongst people who are ignorant of how much a few hours with a decent prostitute costs (i.e. a lot more than a hotel room!).

Actually, probably not. It's pretty similar in London!

Anyway, I think we are agreed that the wise guy should offer to pay, but that lots of women and couples will insist on paying their share.

On the latter point yes, but go browse AW if you think you can 3 hours with a decent hooker for the price of a travelodge!!!

If you believe these forums then a lot of guys want to cum and go within an hour when they meet from fab! "

As do alot of couples and single women as well.

But what's the fun in just meeting for an hour I like to enjoy the whole experience including the social aspect of it before hand and gain a good friendship from it which could lead to future meets with couples and women.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"I always pay my own way. I pay for my own hotel, drinks etc as there's no feeling of owing that person I'm meeting anything if we don't click face to face.

Do as you like, but a real man wouldn't make you feel obligated because he bought some food and drinks. That's a manipulation technique that psychopaths use!

Absolutely. I would add that there is nothing on Earth to make me or Mrs obligated to do something and if someone is expecting it, because they paid for a room, this makes the delusional.

Throughout history, men have paid for things for women because they believe it will increase their chances of sex. It's not delusional, it's a sober calculation.

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By *exi7000Couple over a year ago

London

"I always pay my own way. I pay for my own hotel, drinks etc as there's no feeling of owing that person I'm meeting anything if we don't click face to face.

Do as you like, but a real man wouldn't make you feel obligated because he bought some food and drinks. That's a manipulation technique that psychopaths use!

Absolutely. I would add that there is nothing on Earth to make me or Mrs obligated to do something and if someone is expecting it, because they paid for a room, this makes the delusional.

Throughout history, men have paid for things for women because they believe it will increase their chances of sex. It's not delusional, it's a sober calculation. "

I can comment only on our side, that there is nothing on Earth to make us feel obligated, and if someone is expecting us to be obligated, he is delusional.

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By *elbyfuntimesMan over a year ago

Selby

When all said and done it's all about respect for each other regardless of background or wealth.

No one person should ever feel obligated to do anything ever regardless of what is agreed.

It's a shame there is no swingers hotel chains around the country that a special payment system could be put in place for arranged meets so both parties could book with out making any payments just in case of any no shows or a minimal deposit made by both parties and then both can provide proof of booking.

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By *exi7000Couple over a year ago

London

"When all said and done it's all about respect for each other regardless of background or wealth.

No one person should ever feel obligated to do anything ever regardless of what is agreed.

That sounds like a good business idea

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

well id dosent enter my mind about paying

i would pay single man entrance fee to a club

i'd buy the drinks if a pub meet

so no differnce paying for a hotel

say you were already staying in a hotel and a meet was arranged you wouldnt expect the guests to pay.

so i think just pay and enjoy the meet

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By *elbyfuntimesMan over a year ago

Selby

"When all said and done it's all about respect for each other regardless of background or wealth.

No one person should ever feel obligated to do anything ever regardless of what is agreed.

That sounds like a good business idea

Just wish I had the clout to back it up and invest in such an idea but I can't due to paying for all these hotel meets haha (joking)

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

As I say, I was talking about serious money. £35,000 is only slightly above the average wage in London.

See this thread.

Perhaps amongst people who are ignorant of how much a few hours with a decent prostitute costs (i.e. a lot more than a hotel room!).

Actually, probably not. It's pretty similar in London!

Anyway, I think we are agreed that the wise guy should offer to pay, but that lots of women and couples will insist on paying their share.

On the latter point yes, but go browse AW if you think you can 3 hours with a decent hooker for the price of a travelodge!!!

If you believe these forums then a lot of guys want to cum and go within an hour when they meet from fab!

As do alot of couples and single women as well.

We don't meet single women so can't comment on that. Once a couple has 2+ verifications by meeting then the drop out rate significantly decreases.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"When all said and done it's all about respect for each other regardless of background or wealth.

No one person should ever feel obligated to do anything ever regardless of what is agreed.

That sounds like a good business idea

Just wish I had the clout to back it up and invest in such an idea but I can't due to paying for all these hotel meets haha (joking) "

I can't see it working. There would be tons of cancellations. The business would be bankrupt within weeks.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Buddy, I mean really haggling. We had guys who have read our profile, where we clearly state what we expect, contact us, and couple of days before the meet, they start haggling. And I mean haggling.

Also most of the time I will also iffer to pay iur share at the end of the meet. But never before. "

You've still not explained what you actually mean by haggling though - if it's over the terms of the meet and how it will go, that is something completely different from discussing the costs of the meet.

For me personally I wouldn't meet you even if you wanted to (which I know you wouldn't

) for the plain and simple fact that you'd expect me to stump up the cost of the room up front even though you might offer to pay half at the end of the meet.

As I've said previously this is a shared experience and therefore to my mind the costs should be shared and that would have been agreed beforehand not as a "possibility" reliant on the good nature of the people I'm meeting.

Can totally understand asking the other person to actually pay the up front cost (if you're going to pay half when the meet happens) as a means of avoiding timewasters but then they could also say the same about you so someone has to agree to do it - again personally I only meet people I've built a good connection with and who I am 99% certain won't be a timewaster/no show so it's not a concern for me.

Ultimately we each do things our own way and for me meeting someone who expects me to cover the costs is not my way and I'd rather go without

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When all said and done it's all about respect for each other regardless of background or wealth.

No one person should ever feel obligated to do anything ever regardless of what is agreed.

That sounds like a good business idea

Just wish I had the clout to back it up and invest in such an idea but I can't due to paying for all these hotel meets haha (joking)

I can't see it working. There would be tons of cancellations. The business would be bankrupt within weeks. "

pay in advance and no refunds for cancellations so not an issue

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"When all said and done it's all about respect for each other regardless of background or wealth.

No one person should ever feel obligated to do anything ever regardless of what is agreed.

That sounds like a good business idea

Just wish I had the clout to back it up and invest in such an idea but I can't due to paying for all these hotel meets haha (joking)

I can't see it working. There would be tons of cancellations. The business would be bankrupt within weeks.

pay in advance and no refunds for cancellations so not an issue"

So how does that differ from a normal hotel?

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"When all said and done it's all about respect for each other regardless of background or wealth.

No one person should ever feel obligated to do anything ever regardless of what is agreed.

That sounds like a good business idea

Just wish I had the clout to back it up and invest in such an idea but I can't due to paying for all these hotel meets haha (joking)

I can't see it working. There would be tons of cancellations. The business would be bankrupt within weeks.

pay in advance and no refunds for cancellations so not an issue

So how does that differ from a normal hotel? "

Presumably they would be built with thicker walls?

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By *r TriomanMan over a year ago

Malmesbury

"When all said and done it's all about respect for each other regardless of background or wealth.

No one person should ever feel obligated to do anything ever regardless of what is agreed.

That sounds like a good business idea

Just wish I had the clout to back it up and invest in such an idea but I can't due to paying for all these hotel meets haha (joking)

I can't see it working. There would be tons of cancellations. The business would be bankrupt within weeks.

pay in advance and no refunds for cancellations so not an issue

So how does that differ from a normal hotel?

Presumably they would be built with thicker walls? "

And self-disinfecting surfaces

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By *elbyfuntimesMan over a year ago

Selby

"When all said and done it's all about respect for each other regardless of background or wealth.

No one person should ever feel obligated to do anything ever regardless of what is agreed.

That sounds like a good business idea

Just wish I had the clout to back it up and invest in such an idea but I can't due to paying for all these hotel meets haha (joking)

I can't see it working. There would be tons of cancellations. The business would be bankrupt within weeks.

pay in advance and no refunds for cancellations so not an issue

So how does that differ from a normal hotel? "

One it would share the cost of both parties and both could be provided proof of payment to show each other to confirm the bookings.

That way it would help eliminate the possible awkward expection on one party to pay for the cost and then either ask for part payment afterwards.

All you would need to do is both agree yo meet and location and both book at said hotel and then rooms could be allocated when both parties arrive.

If for what ever reason one party did not arrive then the other could then decide to stay regardless and pay the full cost or decide to go home then less money would be lost incase of a no show.

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By *exi7000Couple over a year ago

London

Buddy, I mean really haggling. We had guys who have read our profile, where we clearly state what we expect, contact us, and couple of days before the meet, they start haggling. And I mean haggling.

Also most of the time I will also iffer to pay iur share at the end of the meet. But never before.

For me personally I wouldn't meet you even if you wanted to (which I know you wouldn't

) for the plain and simple fact that you'd expect me to stump up the cost of the room up front even though you might offer to pay half at the end of the meet.

Ultimately we each do things our own way and for me meeting someone who expects me to cover the costs is not my way and I'd rather go without

Shame I can't attach screenshots here. You will be amazed by the conversations we have had.

Meet agreed atleast 4-5 days in advance and then haggling:

1. "Could I book that hotel?" - yes, you can;

2. "I have booked it, but why should I send confirmation?" -Because I believe in the eyes too see and hands to touch approach.

3. "Can I now move it to this hotel, as the price increased in the other?" Obviously you lied you booked it, and now the price gone up.

4. "But can we share the cost as now is too expensive? (I think was £95 hotel)" - no we had an agreement, and is written in our profile, so you knew our terms in advance. (Even that I would of most likely done it anyway)

5. "Why don't you book it, and I will pay you back? - you must ve kidding me.

Then the day arrives and he is gone quite all day. Obviously I know that he has done nothing so I gone and organised another meet as no way we can waste weekend night sitting in front of the TV. 1-2 hours befire the original meet he will text saying that he has just finish a loong meeting and ask if we are still up for a meet?

So the above is just some of the haggling I get, and needless to say, but never met those guys, as they take soo long to orginise the meet, and leave it for last minute.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Not necessarily. As I say, if a guy is young, hot and broke, we will pay. However, if a guy who looks like he can afford a hotel room argues about the cost of a hotel room, it's a turn off.

There's also, to us, no clear link between status and money. If someone is all about displaying his ownership of a Porsche and a Rolex, we'd run a mile.

Not everyone buys into the whole socio biological status thing.

I think most couples would be with us and find guys who conspicuously display wealth a turn off rather than a turn on. Hence wealth doesn't equal status in the swinging world.

So the single guy now pays for the room and has to deliver a decent performance for a 60% chance the couple think he was good enough to chip in towards the cost of the room? What is this saying about a couple's attitude towards the guy?

Although I guess it works if the couple really don't mind who they have sex with? As others have said, there's always a guy who will ... and no doubt some will put in a stellar performance.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)