FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why’s it so hard to get a meet?
Why’s it so hard to get a meet?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know this hasn’t be raised the first time and it won’t be the last, but why is it so hard to get a meet?
I do interact in the forums and I’d say my profile and pics I’ve uploaded ain’t the worst.
Any advice for me? Yes I haven’t been to a club yet and that’s on my list, however is that the be all and end all in terms of getting a meet?
Hope you all had a great Easter  |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
Tbh... No idea. Seems to be no rhyme nor reason to it. Just keep doing all the correct things and hope for the best. Having seen the fab experience from a female profile persepctive, i have no clue why i managed to get a response and others didn't. It's all just luck as far as I'm concerned. Just keep being pro active and maintain a positive attitude. If you find it a struggle, take a step back and pursue other things in your life for a bit. Don't let fab meets be the be all and end all. Good luck! |
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"I know this hasn’t be raised the first time and it won’t be the last, but why is it so hard to get a meet?
I do interact in the forums and I’d say my profile and pics I’ve uploaded ain’t the worst.
Any advice for me? Yes I haven’t been to a club yet and that’s on my list, however is that the be all and end all in terms of getting a meet?
Hope you all had a great Easter "
Forget getting a meet from the forum.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly ? I'd jump your bones but if you're a gut who can't accommodate you're severely reducing your chances of meeting anyone. Otherwise you definately have a face I'd like to sit on. |
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By *annooWoman
over a year ago
Hastings |
I always tell people the same thing, treat fab life a sexual Facebook, anything more is replies to messages and meets are a bonus, Street all the site isn't just about meets ... There's more to it than that...
Unfortunately it's been treated like a click n fuck site for too long and some people are sick of it
Plus with the men to women ratio and the fake profiles...can't blame people are not wanting to meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a struggle. We haven’t met any new people on here in a couple of year.
Most couples seem to meet at clubs. Even the couples we do get chatting to seem pretty switched off and unresponsive. It’s hardly worth the effort really. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I don’t know if people just lead busy lives now and the effort it takes to get to know someone and meet maybe isn’t just worth the time.
Plus perhaps they’ve had bad experiences of timewasters, fakes etc.
That being said I see many online, so maybe I shouldn’t loose all hope as yet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly ? I'd jump your bones but if you're a gut who can't accommodate you're severely reducing your chances of meeting anyone. Otherwise you definately have a face I'd like to sit on."
there you go  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for pointing that error out on my profile, as I can accommodate.
Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong lol "
Oh my goodness! A guy that actually takes profile advice and does something about it ! What kind of mythical creature are you ? |
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By *uyinuMan
over a year ago
Scotland/Yorkshire |
"Thanks for pointing that error out on my profile, as I can accommodate.
Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong lol
Oh my goodness! A guy that actually takes profile advice and does something about it ! What kind of mythical creature are you ?"
laughing so hard it hurt my ribs! |
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Swinging is only a very small part of our lives, people forget we all have real world lives we have to live  The chance that a genuine guy, who has read my profile, messages me when I am free, is very rare...
I find these days when I am looking for a meet, on those rare days I am free, I get so many timewasters and fake profiles, I end up just messaging a couple of regular guys to see if they are free to meet up. New guys miss out purely because I haven't the time to out the fakes and the endless messages from guys who will never meet. Chat and wank guys I call them 
It is very rare now for me to meet anyone new, the odd gem does still appear, which is the only reason I stay and pay my silver membership |
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You guys wonder why we don't bother replying.........in the few minutes I was typing my last message here, I got 5 new guys send me messages.
one was this " mmmm mummy want to let your big son fuck you deep from behind xx"
Another was from Wakefield wanting to chat and meet...I am in South Wales?? 
The 3 others were the usual 5 word messages: "How are you Hun xx" or "How much fun you want" or "How ur doing 2nite"
and you wonder why we just delete delete delete........... |
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"I know this hasn’t be raised the first time and it won’t be the last, but why is it so hard to get a meet?
I do interact in the forums and I’d say my profile and pics I’ve uploaded ain’t the worst.
Any advice for me? Yes I haven’t been to a club yet and that’s on my list, however is that the be all and end all in terms of getting a meet?
Hope you all had a great Easter
Forget getting a meet from the forum. "
Why so? I've had meets from the forum, and so have others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You'll have far better chances on Tinder
I'm really just here for new experiences (e.g. threesomes) - but I wonder if it's really worth it. The site is addictive, whether you're getting meets or not
The rejections you'll experience here will be far more common and often more brutal |
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And then the nasty reply for deleting is what we find.
It isn't easy at times for any of us who are just not here to jump on anything that shows interest but, for us at least. Somebody who has not even bothered to read the first line of our profile (which we now have in capitals just to make it a little more obvious) is an instant no thank you. That, and as said the usual three word message. Or "you can have a quick suck of me if I can spend the rest of the night on your wife" messages. We do feel a bit for the guys that do put effort in as they are dragged down by the hordes of chancers. Good luck to the genuine guys... |
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"I know this hasn’t be raised the first time and it won’t be the last, but why is it so hard to get a meet?
I do interact in the forums and I’d say my profile and pics I’ve uploaded ain’t the worst.
Any advice for me? Yes I haven’t been to a club yet and that’s on my list, however is that the be all and end all in terms of getting a meet?
Hope you all had a great Easter "
I was watching 3 male wood pigeons chasing a female pigeon, they were pretty persistant. For whatever reason she wasn't having it. She looked egg filled. Or probably just not up for it.
A bit like fabs, its nature.
Expect rejection, and never give up.
Imagine you being chased by males just trying to jab you with their wanger, can be a bit off putting.
Treat the people you are interested in with respect. If you still get a no they're probably not for you anyway.
Box o' Chocs springs to mind.
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"And then the nasty reply for deleting is what we find.
It isn't easy at times for any of us who are just not here to jump on anything that shows interest but, for us at least. Somebody who has not even bothered to read the first line of our profile (which we now have in capitals just to make it a little more obvious) is an instant no thank you. That, and as said the usual three word message. Or "you can have a quick suck of me if I can spend the rest of the night on your wife" messages. We do feel a bit for the guys that do put effort in as they are dragged down by the hordes of chancers. Good luck to the genuine guys... "
A very good assesment. It's one of those facts of life, the good suffer for the bad, human nature can be very fickle too.
I wonder if we had one of those Star Trek transporter thingys, it would improve chances of a meet. Locality is a big issue too.
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"And then the nasty reply for deleting is what we find.
It isn't easy at times for any of us who are just not here to jump on anything that shows interest but, for us at least. Somebody who has not even bothered to read the first line of our profile (which we now have in capitals just to make it a little more obvious) is an instant no thank you. That, and as said the usual three word message. Or "you can have a quick suck of me if I can spend the rest of the night on your wife" messages. We do feel a bit for the guys that do put effort in as they are dragged down by the hordes of chancers. Good luck to the genuine guys...
A very good assesment. It's one of those facts of life, the good suffer for the bad, human nature can be very fickle too.
I wonder if we had one of those Star Trek transporter thingys, it would improve chances of a meet. Locality is a big issue too.
"
Yes locality is also an issue. For us, we don't want it on our doorstep but then again we don't want it that far away we don't have a realistic chance of meeting socially too. Just as you say, accept the no thanks and try again. It isn't all doom and gloom out there or none of us would bother.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t know if people just lead busy lives now and the effort it takes to get to know someone and meet maybe isn’t just worth the time.
Plus perhaps they’ve had bad experiences of timewasters, fakes etc.
That being said I see many online, so maybe I shouldn’t loose all hope as yet. "
My experience is that it is about lack of effort, obviously not read profile, one line messages and even when I do try to engage in conversation to get a feel for someone it's like getting blood out of a stone mostly.
I think this is because rather than put effort in men fire off messages ( the one liner crap) to many and continue to juggle to try to keep options open. Women are not stupid about this hence don't waste time with the effortless quick hook up type. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t know if people just lead busy lives now and the effort it takes to get to know someone and meet maybe isn’t just worth the time.
Plus perhaps they’ve had bad experiences of timewasters, fakes etc.
That being said I see many online, so maybe I shouldn’t loose all hope as yet.
My experience is that it is about lack of effort, obviously not read profile, one line messages and even when I do try to engage in conversation to get a feel for someone it's like getting blood out of a stone mostly.
I think this is because rather than put effort in men fire off messages ( the one liner crap) to many and continue to juggle to try to keep options open. Women are not stupid about this hence don't waste time with the effortless quick hook up type. "
Agreed pixie x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And then the nasty reply for deleting is what we find.
It isn't easy at times for any of us who are just not here to jump on anything that shows interest but, for us at least. Somebody who has not even bothered to read the first line of our profile (which we now have in capitals just to make it a little more obvious) is an instant no thank you. That, and as said the usual three word message. Or "you can have a quick suck of me if I can spend the rest of the night on your wife" messages. We do feel a bit for the guys that do put effort in as they are dragged down by the hordes of chancers. Good luck to the genuine guys... "
I disagree. There are so many crappy profiles and rubbish messages that the men who do put in effort shine out like beacons. My baseline is two sentences. If you write two sentences or more I’ll respond to your message. That’s less than 30% of the messages I get. And I’m not taking into account whether they are interesting, legible, cut and pasted etc. A good profile, some humility, humour and good pics pushes you right into the top 5% of men on the site. Beyond that it might be about not seeking female perfection. |
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"And then the nasty reply for deleting is what we find.
It isn't easy at times for any of us who are just not here to jump on anything that shows interest but, for us at least. Somebody who has not even bothered to read the first line of our profile (which we now have in capitals just to make it a little more obvious) is an instant no thank you. That, and as said the usual three word message. Or "you can have a quick suck of me if I can spend the rest of the night on your wife" messages. We do feel a bit for the guys that do put effort in as they are dragged down by the hordes of chancers. Good luck to the genuine guys...
A very good assesment. It's one of those facts of life, the good suffer for the bad, human nature can be very fickle too.
I wonder if we had one of those Star Trek transporter thingys, it would improve chances of a meet. Locality is a big issue too.
Yes locality is also an issue. For us, we don't want it on our doorstep but then again we don't want it that far away we don't have a realistic chance of meeting socially too. Just as you say, accept the no thanks and try again. It isn't all doom and gloom out there or none of us would bother. "
Location definitely makes a difference, especially if like the OP, you live close to one or more clubs. What I’ve noticed in Fab, if people are heavily in to the club scene, they make little effort using this site, other than for messaging people they’ve already met in a club. |
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Im not sure mate reading your profile, decent body, decent looking and you dont sound like a twat. We have quite similar profiles but ive had a much different experience innmy short time here but then I am bi so I think that gives me a niche.
Id definitely try clubs though, if youre good looking, charming and dont act desperate youll be away |
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For us, its about getting to know the people we'd like to meet.
We live in spain and get back to UK about 3 times a year.
The time inbetween we like to spend talking and getting to know the people we'd like to meet.
We want to feel comfortable with that person. Banter is an absolute must even in the bedroom.
It seems peoole don't have time for that on here. But if anyone is inserting anything into me then i want to know where its come from hehe. Xxx
Just be you. Be honest. Take time to get to know people. Xxx
Mrs p |
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"You guys wonder why we don't bother replying.........in the few minutes I was typing my last message here, I got 5 new guys send me messages.
one was this " mmmm mummy want to let your big son fuck you deep from behind xx"
Another was from Wakefield wanting to chat and meet...I am in South Wales??
The 3 others were the usual 5 word messages: "How are you Hun xx" or "How much fun you want" or "How ur doing 2nite"
and you wonder why we just delete delete delete........... "
Could not agree more! The one line message "wanna fuck" will never get a response and also if you live 50 miles or more from me it ain't gonna happen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You guys wonder why we don't bother replying.........in the few minutes I was typing my last message here, I got 5 new guys send me messages.
one was this " mmmm mummy want to let your big son fuck you deep from behind xx"
Another was from Wakefield wanting to chat and meet...I am in South Wales??
The 3 others were the usual 5 word messages: "How are you Hun xx" or "How much fun you want" or "How ur doing 2nite"
and you wonder why we just delete delete delete...........
Could not agree more! The one line message "wanna fuck" will never get a response and also if you live 50 miles or more from me it ain't gonna happen"
So block single men from messaging and start sending messages out to those you want to meet! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You guys wonder why we don't bother replying.........in the few minutes I was typing my last message here, I got 5 new guys send me messages.
one was this " mmmm mummy want to let your big son fuck you deep from behind xx"
Another was from Wakefield wanting to chat and meet...I am in South Wales??
The 3 others were the usual 5 word messages: "How are you Hun xx" or "How much fun you want" or "How ur doing 2nite"
and you wonder why we just delete delete delete...........
Could not agree more! The one line message "wanna fuck" will never get a response and also if you live 50 miles or more from me it ain't gonna happen
So block single men from messaging and start sending messages out to those you want to meet!"
Some people want to be the ones being chased, not doing the chasing - as long as it's only the right people chasing them. |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
OP go to socials and chat to people there. It's not a sexual situation so it's your demeanour and character that gets assessed for suitability as a potential playmate. I was surprised by the messages I received from women and couples I had met at socials . You soon build up a network of people for further socialising and play meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cheers mate. I’ll keep persisting and visiting a club is my plan. "
Go visit the club's, I play in clubs but when it comes to private meets I chicken out. Can't do it.
In my head I seem to have come to the conclusion that playing in clubs is fine but private meets is a big step so I never do it.
For instance I played on Saturday with a guy that I fancied, we both felt that we needed privacy and couldn't do what we really wanted to do in the club. But now when it came down to a private meet with this guy I chickened out and I'm now probably on his veto list and long forgotten. Pity as I really wanted to play with him but I can't bring myself to go for a private meet.
In this instance it was my loss, think it would have been a great play from my taster of him on Saturday. |
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As how you have preferences, others have theirs too.
You might have rejected some as how some have rejected you as well.
Don't despair. As many had suggested, going to a club is a good thing to try. |
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By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago
Camberley/Middleton |
"I know this hasn’t be raised the first time and it won’t be the last, but why is it so hard to get a meet?
I do interact in the forums and I’d say my profile and pics I’ve uploaded ain’t the worst.
Any advice for me? Yes I haven’t been to a club yet and that’s on my list, however is that the be all and end all in terms of getting a meet?
Hope you all had a great Easter "
Its all down to someone being attracted to you. If you have done all you can then giving up is an option. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a numbers game (SO many more men than women and couples), it's a location game it's a you ticking their boxes game.
I'd wager anyone could get a meet but getting a meet with the right people is more difficult, particularly for single and dare I say it, younger guys.
I would though |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
Just to add further, in my first 3 months of fab i had a couple of chats but then the users simply disappeared and i lost hope and desire to continue. I left fab with no real intention of returning. After several months away I rejoined on a whim. I kept my expectations lower relative to the previous occasion. I checked out the forums a bit more than before and still sent out messages as before with the same manner. The first 3 months yielded almost nothing. The current 3 month period has seen me meet a couple and 2 ladies. Its just random to me as i said already. I get less profile views than in my first 3 months and less fabbed with my newer pics so that's even more confusing! |
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"Cheers mate. I’ll keep persisting and visiting a club is my plan.
Go visit the club's, I play in clubs but when it comes to private meets I chicken out. Can't do it.
In my head I seem to have come to the conclusion that playing in clubs is fine but private meets is a big step so I never do it.
For instance I played on Saturday with a guy that I fancied, we both felt that we needed privacy and couldn't do what we really wanted to do in the club. But now when it came down to a private meet with this guy I chickened out and I'm now probably on his veto list and long forgotten. Pity as I really wanted to play with him but I can't bring myself to go for a private meet.
In this instance it was my loss, think it would have been a great play from my taster of him on Saturday."
You’ve just become ‘institutionalised’ to the club scene that’s all, like a long term prisoner fearing release! |
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By *uckfunCouple
over a year ago
North Coast |
I think a lot of couples and women get get besieged by messages from single men, a lot of them pester repeatedly, puts you off even reading them after a while.
I think if couples want to meet a single male on here they will go looking for one themselves with the help of the filters rather than wade through the multitude of messages to see if any of them fit the bill.
Which is why club meets are also more popular. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I might have to try my luck somewhere else too, I wonder if swinging will ever join the younger generation. I joined to meet older women but the majority of women here seem to prefer to meet older swingers, people 40+.  |
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By *uckfunCouple
over a year ago
North Coast |
As said A lot of singles fall down in their messages, lost count of the ones that start
Do you have any pics?
I’m close to your location can I pop round?
I can meet now
If you do get lucky and have a meet, don’t expect anything, especially if the initial meet is in a bar, it’s awful when you meet to check each other out and every other sentence is about going on somewhere to fuck. If the chemistry isn’t there, the drink is as far as it goes. |
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Life just gets in the way sometimes. We want to meet much more than we actually can because of work, children and other commitments that we will end up going months in between meets/club visits because we have a life that comes first- which is annoying sometimes 
Sassy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Forget getting a meet from the forum. "
It can happen. I specifically replied to a women (couple) nearby Daisy would love in hopes of peaking their interest, they sent us a message + we have been talking. The only reason we haven't met up yet is because neither of us accommodate so they are waiting for us to tell them when we will go to a club to meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah, it's hard work for girls to get meets too. Effort needs to be made by both, and there needs to be some sort of connection. At least at a club, if ur attracted to them, u can just get on with it. They don't even have to know ur name, let alone where u live. |
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my advise is get to clubs,socials are also good as then u can chat face to face and add people to ur friends,sadly fab attracts a lot of timewasters and fakes who just like to pic collect so it is a pain sorting the genuine out. |
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