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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Being a single guy comes with obvious issues of alot of rejection which makes it harder but I guess everyone might have dealt with this at some point so I'd love some Intel...
My problems;
Face pics - Always paranoid about sending it to someone and them knowing me in real life already...
Body pictures - I'm not muscley,toned or thin. I don't think I'm sexy so find it hard to believe anyone else would.
Am I the only one?
And
Do you have the secret to get over it?
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Regarding sending face pics - fuck it, you only live once!
I remember a motormouth at work saying that someone told her that I was on a swinger site. I just acted like I didn't know what she was on about 
She didn't bring it up again but I'll have loved to know which saddo told her, so that I could give them a slap! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Now I know I have topless photos on my profile, but I am the same as you. I don't first message in general, because I feel I'm not good enough, and I feel that my photos put women off messaging me. The last message I got was off a woman who just wanted to do impact play for the first time, and because I can't do it at this moment in time due to a trapped nerve in my shoulder, she didn't reply and deleted the message, even though I said I would be more than happy to when my shoulder is better. That upset me even more |
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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
"Being a single guy comes with obvious issues of alot of rejection which makes it harder but I guess everyone might have dealt with this at some point so I'd love some Intel...
My problems;
Face pics - Always paranoid about sending it to someone and them knowing me in real life already...
Body pictures - I'm not muscley,toned or thin. I don't think I'm sexy so find it hard to believe anyone else would.
Am I the only one?
And
Do you have the secret to get over it?
"
Yes...the solution is having a Zero Fucks Given Policy when it comes to what other people think and also having the confidence of a cocky Kitten in a ring of Pit Bulls
If you send a pic and they dont like you then its no biggie. Im a fat bird on the wrong side of 40 with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. If folk like me then great, if they dont then i dont lose sleep over it. You shouldnt either x |
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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
"Now I know I have topless photos on my profile, but I am the same as you. I don't first message in general, because I feel I'm not good enough, and I feel that my photos put women off messaging me. The last message I got was off a woman who just wanted to do impact play for the first time, and because I can't do it at this moment in time due to a trapped nerve in my shoulder, she didn't reply and deleted the message, even though I said I would be more than happy to when my shoulder is better. That upset me even more"
And you sir...that 21st May pic...just phwoooorrrr!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Now I know I have topless photos on my profile, but I am the same as you. I don't first message in general, because I feel I'm not good enough, and I feel that my photos put women off messaging me. The last message I got was off a woman who just wanted to do impact play for the first time, and because I can't do it at this moment in time due to a trapped nerve in my shoulder, she didn't reply and deleted the message, even though I said I would be more than happy to when my shoulder is better. That upset me even more"
Sorry to hear about the shoulder, sucks that people have a now or not good enough mentality |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Regarding sending face pics - fuck it, you only live once!
I remember a motormouth at work saying that someone told her that I was on a swinger site. I just acted like I didn't know what she was on about
She didn't bring it up again but I'll have loved to know which saddo told her, so that I could give them a slap! "
I think I would have gone into full panic mode haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Being a single guy comes with obvious issues of alot of rejection which makes it harder but I guess everyone might have dealt with this at some point so I'd love some Intel...
My problems;
Face pics - Always paranoid about sending it to someone and them knowing me in real life already...
Body pictures - I'm not muscley,toned or thin. I don't think I'm sexy so find it hard to believe anyone else would.
Am I the only one?
And
Do you have the secret to get over it?
Yes...the solution is having a Zero Fucks Given Policy when it comes to what other people think and also having the confidence of a cocky Kitten in a ring of Pit Bulls
If you send a pic and they dont like you then its no biggie. Im a fat bird on the wrong side of 40 with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. If folk like me then great, if they dont then i dont lose sleep over it. You shouldnt either x"
Haha, nothing in your pics looks remotely bad. I think as much as I'd like to try all this out the lack of confidence is a mood killer towards others and that impacts me... it's a vicious cycle |
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I used to worry about not being able to last long after seeing lots if profiles demanding that they get a long hard seeing to etc
A couple of lady friends on here have convinced me it's not a problem at all and the worst that can happen is you cum quick and then after a while go again. And to take it as a compliment that I found them so attractive |
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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
"I think as much as I'd like to try all this out the lack of confidence is a mood killer towards others and that impacts me... it's a vicious cycle "
Fab definitely isnt a place to build confidence for anyone, but you can project confidence even if you dont feel it, in your words, your interactions, your outlook.
Are you a confident person IRL? If not then working on building that up will in turn benefit you here x |
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I suffer from anxiety, currently off work because of it. And add the fact that I have Aspergers which basically means I’m useless in social situations (obviously there’s more to it than just that though) and you’ll see how it’s not just you that struggles.
I force myself to go to clubs, and I try and get myself into situations where I’m talking to people. The hottub is my favourite place to do this. It helps me relax.
As for face pics, I have one thought about that. And I use this same mentality in my life.
If they see my face, will it change their life?
If someone says I’m ugly, will it change their life?
If I get blocked, will it change their life?
If the answer is yes, then I’ll do something about it.
If the answer is no, then why let it bother me? It doesn’t bother them, so why should I lose sleep?
Oh and I also have no shame, I’d love to be recognised haha it would give me something to talk to them about 
Good luck on fab, I hope this has helped somehow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hey Op
I (mr) suffer with anxiety and depression. and i know exactly what your talking about.
Im at this point now where if we were at a club and getting on well with a cpl, i would make an excuse to leave the chat to avoid playing as i feel with low confidence a take one for the team, is my cock enough? i rock the dad bod, will i satisfy her etc etc
Weve had many offers but just cant seem to pass that point.
Mrs reassures me and amazing and if anything my cock is to big as i hit her 'top' and its deep.
Shes suggested i just do it, but them nerves soon reappear
I wish you all the best op |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Now I know I have topless photos on my profile, but I am the same as you. I don't first message in general, because I feel I'm not good enough, and I feel that my photos put women off messaging me. The last message I got was off a woman who just wanted to do impact play for the first time, and because I can't do it at this moment in time due to a trapped nerve in my shoulder, she didn't reply and deleted the message, even though I said I would be more than happy to when my shoulder is better. That upset me even more
And you sir...that 21st May pic...just phwoooorrrr! "
Why thank you. That's me throwing some photography skills about and experimenting with reflected light in a pitch black room. I really enjoyed editing what I did that night, and learned a couple of things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have to have a strong positive sense of self for fab. It's only a add on for us so if people don't like us that's fine, even after having a social. We just treat it as an honesty from the other people.
Someone said to us at the start of this fab journey 2 years ago "too get four individuals who connect both physically, mentally and socially is never easy" We have given a polite No to others we have met as have they done to us. Don't worry if people say no it's not a reflection on you but on there needs. Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have to have a strong positive sense of self for fab. It's only a add on for us so if people don't like us that's fine, even after having a social. We just treat it as an honesty from the other people.
Someone said to us at the start of this fab journey 2 years ago "too get four individuals who connect both physically, mentally and socially is never easy" We have given a polite No to others we have met as have they done to us. Don't worry if people say no it's not a reflection on you but on there needs. Mr "
I think this is true to a great degree. There has to be a lot Of "water off the ducks back" with things. Though it's also increasingly disheartening when either people either don't reply or send an obnoxiously or offensively worded no in reply to a message. Also people not responding to replies in forum threads can be disheartening too. I stay out of all the snog/fuck/avoid style threads, because from previous experience on other sites, people jump back either to someone they know or someone they want to fuck and are trying to get the attention of, and ruin the continuity of the thread. I also don't like these "Mr/Mrs X (insert body part here) appreciation" threads, because it makes things feel like a competition where only the biggest will win.
I do suggest, as hard as it might be, to try and get talking to some people as a friend, just as someone to hang out with at social events, so you don't turn up and just feel like a lemon sat on your own all night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have to have a strong positive sense of self for fab. It's only a add on for us so if people don't like us that's fine, even after having a social. We just treat it as an honesty from the other people.
Someone said to us at the start of this fab journey 2 years ago "too get four individuals who connect both physically, mentally and socially is never easy" We have given a polite No to others we have met as have they done to us. Don't worry if people say no it's not a reflection on you but on there needs. Mr
I think this is true to a great degree. There has to be a lot Of "water off the ducks back" with things. Though it's also increasingly disheartening when either people either don't reply or send an obnoxiously or offensively worded no in reply to a message. Also people not responding to replies in forum threads can be disheartening too. I stay out of all the snog/fuck/avoid style threads, because from previous experience on other sites, people jump back either to someone they know or someone they want to fuck and are trying to get the attention of, and ruin the continuity of the thread. I also don't like these "Mr/Mrs X (insert body part here) appreciation" threads, because it makes things feel like a competition where only the biggest will win.
I do suggest, as hard as it might be, to try and get talking to some people as a friend, just as someone to hang out with at social events, so you don't turn up and just feel like a lemon sat on your own all night"
Indeed we go to socials and find if you make the first polite move then people do talk to you and that opens up to other people talking to you, tip don't sit down unless your already conversing with others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a lot of issues with body confidence but I just think what the hell. People will either like me or they won't."
We all have parts of our body we arnt happy with, even the so called beautiful people, but it's about the person not the body I find that attracts me, by the way you look stunning. Once went to a club and saw a female with an amazing body but when I overheard the derogatory things she was saying about other people that totally changed my mind about her, she might be beautiful on the outside but very ugly on the inside.
Be beautifully you and don't worry about others views of you that's there problem not yours. Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"a lot of socials are very clicky too weve found "
After years on the fetish scene, socials can be like this, but I have found it varies from social to social though, and depends on the people running it too |
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I'm the Mr
I think we all have anxietys and insecurities about ourselves and our bodies.
I used to hate taking off my clothes and revealing my body, then i started gyming and dieting. This helped dramatically, but still took some time adjusting mentally but haven't looked back. I definately helped with my overall attractiveness and confidence, just had to get off my ass and make it happen.
Granted some things can't be addressed this way, but it's a good start and you will find other things naturally fall into place.
Just my 2 cents |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I also think confidence is sexy, even if it's a matter of just putting yourself out there even if u don't feel great, cause hearing from you all and then seeing how sexy and amazing u all are is mind blowing x |
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. Once you accept that you will be fine.
