FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > should i call it a day???
should i call it a day???
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ive been on here for 4 months and cant seem to get anywhere,does this mean im not supposed to be here?Im not sure how much longer i should leave it before i leave.Feedback please. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am sure there are ladys out there who would like you xx just need a face pic to go with others xx"
Would you say, though, that for single men it was a pre-requisite to have a public face pic? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am sure there are ladys out there who would like you xx just need a face pic to go with others xx
Would you say, though, that for single men it was a pre-requisite to have a public face pic?"
I dont think you need a public face pic but you need one available to show |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am sure there are ladys out there who would like you xx just need a face pic to go with others xx
Would you say, though, that for single men it was a pre-requisite to have a public face pic?"
well i dont wish to chat with out seeing a face xx body and cocks are fine but its the face i go for x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you have 3 friends on your list
is there an issue in converting one or all of those friends into a meet ?
concentrate on those that DO show you some attention as opposed to those that don't
your profile is bland and doesn't say that much
for many 'shy' and cannot accom suggests married
that may not be the case, if it is or isn't then say so rather than leaving the reader to sumise
what do your messages say ?
how do you make yourself stand out from the rest of the single guys here ?
if you are unable or unwilling to put the effort in, then why should others take the time to get to know more about you ?
do you attend social meets ?
do you contribute to the forums other than asking for help ?
do you take time to get to know people beyond hinting at sex ?
considering some of the above may get further than standing still, but there are no guarantees
i hope you stick around and make it work for you
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yeah id say just keep your face pics in private and send them with a pm. thats what i do. not that it's done me any good though!  "
exactly its not done you any good because they just pick the next profile that does have face pics on public display
to the op, what exactly did you expect, your execptecting someone else to host the session (even if they can they probs dont like the fact you wont accomodate so why should they!) and all they can see is a dick, a bum and a towell.
i mean would you expect that to work in a club if your mate went up to women and showed them the 3 pictures and said he's here to tonight want me to introduce you to him and he will show you his face in private? i dont think it would and the net is no different apart from alot more choice!
stand out from the crowd if you want meets.
your profile also suggests your attached as thats the assumption with hiding your face and not being able to accomodate! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yeah id say just keep your face pics in private and send them with a pm. thats what i do. not that it's done me any good though! "
if i look at a profile no face ... I will pass on it . But if thay send a letter with face at the start its fine . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yeah id say just keep your face pics in private and send them with a pm. thats what i do. not that it's done me any good though! if i look at a profile no face ... I will pass on it . But if thay send a letter with face at the start its fine ."
so mingers of fab, just send your mug shot to Jo with a message and you're sorted 
(soz, couldn't resist x) |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Northants |
As I said in another post about the same thing!
"Whats wrong with my profile and messages? Probably nothing! If you typed it, it is you and if you take advice from here, it will not be you any more. Your biggest problem is you are a very small fish in a very large ocean! Just join the queue and perhaps one day you may get lucky.. If you do? Buy a lottery ticket as well.. lol"
And that guy had already had three meets! There are thousands of single guys and not everyone meets them. If you are after a quick shag, look down the pub on a Saturday.
As has been pointed out before on these forums, ladies can be almost any size, shape and age and still get a shag, so there is just a shortage of "product"   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
your profile also suggests your attached as thats the assumption with hiding your face and not being able to accomodate!"
Really? There could be a multitude of other reasons why someone wouldn't want their face plastered all over this site for anyone and everyone to see.
So if you're a single fem and choose not to have a face pic on display and cannot accommodate is she automatically cheating? Or, as has been mentioned in many previous forum posts its for safety reasons and often because they have kids at home.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yeah id say just keep your face pics in private and send them with a pm. thats what i do. not that it's done me any good though! if i look at a profile no face ... I will pass on it . But if thay send a letter with face at the start its fine .
so mingers of fab, just send your mug shot to Jo with a message and you're sorted
(soz, couldn't resist x)"
thanks for that i only mail back if i like .. xx |
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are you here to explore swinging or get a quick fuck?
The first, get active...get to know people go to socials and parties, post here and try chat.
The second...go down town any weekend...its not hard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
So if you're a single fem and choose not to have a face pic on display and cannot accommodate is she automatically cheating? Or, as has been mentioned in many previous forum posts its for safety reasons and often because they have kids at home.
"
whos talking about single women here, im talking about assumptions made on guys. but on the same front
how many single guys have kids at home? nearly always the woman has the kids after a split
how many single guys would have a safety issue over a female coming around for sex? i cant imagine any really
but they obviousily always genuine reasons why people cant show their face or accomodate,
but that does not change the fact that most of the regulars on this website assume its because they are cheating or have something to hide
as for the female she could well be cheating also - but the reasons you gave only really apply to women and seem to get rid of the assumptions alot easier,
but how many single guys take this into account as a negative point if the woman is cheating, when they stand to benifit from it espeically if they struggle to get meets! not many i think.
but fact is single guy who cant accomodate for sex and refuses to show their face publically will normally get the assumption they are attached or have something to hide (maybe not a nice face or house is a tip)
but im on about single men not single women. guys are going to get judge on much more as in general alot are thought to be full of shit really! if someone dont want to get involved with a cheater, its much easier to tar everyone with the same brush and only go for those showing their face and who will accomodate.
after all i dont know many of my single mates who live alone who wouldnt let a lady come back to theirs for sex if they wanted it from her. why would they if they got nothing to hide and live alone!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive been on here for 4 months and cant seem to get anywhere,does this mean im not supposed to be here?Im not sure how much longer i should leave it before i leave.Feedback please."
Frustration seems common among the single men as there is a lot of competition so you need to sit down and work out if you are prepared to compete or if you deem its not worth the effort. If you do decide to stay then revamp your profile add pictures and accept you will be unsuccessful 90% of the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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id say that 4 months may seem a long time to go without a meet, but it's actually not. I've been on here absolutely ages now and the only person I've met was someone i already knew from another site. I do better on nights out than I do on here to be fair I must take really bad photos! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile is difficult to read - no proper punctuation and no paragraphs .
Try re writing it with bullet points and make it easier to read !
It needs to stand out
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"Ive been on here for 4 months and cant seem to get anywhere,does this mean im not supposed to be here?Im not sure how much longer i should leave it before i leave.Feedback please."
This is the problem we face here as single blokes. Perseverance and patience would get you somewhere sooner or later. Just keep trying and sending out those messages. One would surely consider to meet you someday. Trust me it works for me tho  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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photos rarely do people justice. in the flesh is where the sparks fly or not
anyway i dont know what the deal is with the OP. if he hasnt had any interest onhere in 4 months or if he hasnt had a shag anywhere in 4 months
if its the latter i get ur frustration buddy  |
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"you have 3 friends on your list
is there an issue in converting one or all of those friends into a meet ?
concentrate on those that DO show you some attention as opposed to those that don't
your profile is bland and doesn't say that much
for many 'shy' and cannot accom suggests married
that may not be the case, if it is or isn't then say so rather than leaving the reader to sumise
what do your messages say ?
how do you make yourself stand out from the rest of the single guys here ?
if you are unable or unwilling to put the effort in, then why should others take the time to get to know more about you ?
do you attend social meets ?
do you contribute to the forums other than asking for help ?
do you take time to get to know people beyond hinting at sex ?
considering some of the above may get further than standing still, but there are no guarantees
i hope you stick around and make it work for you
"
In as much as i agreed to all what you've said so far, but i dont think i could agree with getting to know someone and not just hint at sex from my first contact.
This is not a relationship site. Its a sex site. Why should i start trying to know a woman's ways of life and what she does for a living before arranging the 'Now lets fuck' bit?
As for me, i hint at sex straight on because this is a sex site and not a relationship site...simples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It rarely going toh appen over night .. go in chat rooms and get known.. chat and be humorous. Be flirty . Go to the socials they are a biggy and open all sorts of doors for me. Have had a great time but also a lot of let downs. It is a swing site not a dating site. single guys are many numbered be patient and enjoy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"id say that 4 months may seem a long time to go without a meet, but it's actually not. I've been on here absolutely ages now and the only person I've met was someone i already knew from another site. I do better on nights out than I do on here to be fair I must take really bad photos! "
your photos and body etc are obv fine, but your missing the face pic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is not a relationship site. Its a sex site. Why should i start trying to know a woman's ways of life and what she does for a living before arranging the 'Now lets fuck' bit?
As for me, i hint at sex straight on because this is a sex site and not a relationship site...simples"
no but theirs a strong social side to it, and if you show an interest in the lady it does make you stand out from the crowd and make you seem like your different from the rest, she wont think you want a relationship, but im sure she will think your quite a genuine guy and if she fancies you from your pics and likes the way your getting to know her then thats half the battle of getting a woman to meet you!
after all they often do look for a connection if they arnt after a short notice meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In as much as i agreed to all what you've said so far, but i dont think i could agree with getting to know someone and not just hint at sex from my first contact.
This is not a relationship site. Its a sex site. Why should i start trying to know a woman's ways of life and what she does for a living before arranging the 'Now lets fuck' bit?
As for me, i hint at sex straight on because this is a sex site and not a relationship site...simples"
Your approach will be applauded by some site members, but whilst some ladies (and indeed some men) 'know what's coming' they do expect more than 'you are hot, let's fuck'
Just because they are on a sex based site shouldn't detract from the way they are approached and henceforth treated if a chat reaches meet stage.
You don't have to want a relationship with someone to want to know and understand them a little better.
Neither does it cost anything to mix respect and courtesy with sex ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In as much as i agreed to all what you've said so far, but i dont think i could agree with getting to know someone and not just hint at sex from my first contact.
This is not a relationship site. Its a sex site. Why should i start trying to know a woman's ways of life and what she does for a living before arranging the 'Now lets fuck' bit?
As for me, i hint at sex straight on because this is a sex site and not a relationship site...simples
Your approach will be applauded by some site members, but whilst some ladies (and indeed some men) 'know what's coming' they do expect more than 'you are hot, let's fuck'
Just because they are on a sex based site shouldn't detract from the way they are approached and henceforth treated if a chat reaches meet stage.
You don't have to want a relationship with someone to want to know and understand them a little better.
Neither does it cost anything to mix respect and courtesy with sex !"
Well thats just it isnt it "Lets Fuck" = lack of respect |
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"In as much as i agreed to all what you've said so far, but i dont think i could agree with getting to know someone and not just hint at sex from my first contact.
This is not a relationship site. Its a sex site. Why should i start trying to know a woman's ways of life and what she does for a living before arranging the 'Now lets fuck' bit?
As for me, i hint at sex straight on because this is a sex site and not a relationship site...simples
Your approach will be applauded by some site members, but whilst some ladies (and indeed some men) 'know what's coming' they do expect more than 'you are hot, let's fuck'
Just because they are on a sex based site shouldn't detract from the way they are approached and henceforth treated if a chat reaches meet stage.
You don't have to want a relationship with someone to want to know and understand them a little better.
Neither does it cost anything to mix respect and courtesy with sex !"
Hmmmm....its good to be here. i just learnt a valuable lesson, i think. I would change my approach from now henceforth, perhaps that would prevent my mails been deleted without a reply to say why i'm not in their radar 
Thanks guys  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"you have 3 friends on your list
is there an issue in converting one or all of those friends into a meet ?
concentrate on those that DO show you some attention as opposed to those that don't
your profile is bland and doesn't say that much
for many 'shy' and cannot accom suggests married
that may not be the case, if it is or isn't then say so rather than leaving the reader to sumise
what do your messages say ?
how do you make yourself stand out from the rest of the single guys here ?
if you are unable or unwilling to put the effort in, then why should others take the time to get to know more about you ?
do you attend social meets ?
do you contribute to the forums other than asking for help ?
do you take time to get to know people beyond hinting at sex ?
considering some of the above may get further than standing still, but there are no guarantees
i hope you stick around and make it work for you
In as much as i agreed to all what you've said so far, but i dont think i could agree with getting to know someone and not just hint at sex from my first contact.
This is not a relationship site. Its a sex site. Why should i start trying to know a woman's ways of life and what she does for a living before arranging the 'Now lets fuck' bit?
As for me, i hint at sex straight on because this is a sex site and not a relationship site...simples"
See I don't get people who say "I always do this with a message" to be honest.
Do I hint at sex in my first message? Sometimes. And in various ways, be it an innocuous comment that they can take either way with a double meaning. Or sometimes I more than hint at sex instead making the message almost saturated with eroticism....
Sometimes I don't mention sex at all and have general but interesting chat.
Which of these methods has gave me the greatest success in terms of meets? ALL OF THEM.
The simple reason being that you have to tailor messages for the individual(s) you are sending them to, it shows a lot more thought, they are more likely to enjoy reading it and be intrigued by you and they will most of the time respond to this and in a favourable way...
The only exception to styles of messaging being different is that I usually enclose a face pic with my first message. I figure folk want to know who's talking to them at least.
It's not a total deal-breaker though as I get as many meets from people contacting me first and I only have body shots in my public gallery...(and one of my lips, but I liked the shot so it went in!) |
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"!Well thats just it isnt it "Lets Fuck" = lack of respect "
Well, i now understand in as much as this may not be a respectable approach to approach people for a meet, but y'all have to also understand not everybody could do the talk really.
Like me for example, i can do the 'fuck' but rubbish in doing the 'talk', as i get nervous as to how i may be perceived as either being too desperate or want something more or something.
Since i know my own weakness that im rubbish in doing the 'talk', i just usually go straight and ask for the 'fuck', since thats why we're all here
Now, could you guys please help, whats the best way to start to approach people for a meet on site like fab,with both knowing where its going to lead to anyway. I understand there must be different approach between singles and couples, isnt it?  |
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"you have 3 friends on your list
is there an issue in converting one or all of those friends into a meet ?
concentrate on those that DO show you some attention as opposed to those that don't
your profile is bland and doesn't say that much
for many 'shy' and cannot accom suggests married
that may not be the case, if it is or isn't then say so rather than leaving the reader to sumise
what do your messages say ?
how do you make yourself stand out from the rest of the single guys here ?
if you are unable or unwilling to put the effort in, then why should others take the time to get to know more about you ?
do you attend social meets ?
do you contribute to the forums other than asking for help ?
do you take time to get to know people beyond hinting at sex ?
considering some of the above may get further than standing still, but there are no guarantees
i hope you stick around and make it work for you
In as much as i agreed to all what you've said so far, but i dont think i could agree with getting to know someone and not just hint at sex from my first contact.
This is not a relationship site. Its a sex site. Why should i start trying to know a woman's ways of life and what she does for a living before arranging the 'Now lets fuck' bit?
As for me, i hint at sex straight on because this is a sex site and not a relationship site...simples"
its not a sex site, its a swinging site...
Seriously for many on here there is a difference, and one of the differences is we expect to be treated with respect, and are still filthy in the bedroom.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"you have 3 friends on your list
is there an issue in converting one or all of those friends into a meet ?
concentrate on those that DO show you some attention as opposed to those that don't
your profile is bland and doesn't say that much
for many 'shy' and cannot accom suggests married
that may not be the case, if it is or isn't then say so rather than leaving the reader to sumise
what do your messages say ?
how do you make yourself stand out from the rest of the single guys here ?
if you are unable or unwilling to put the effort in, then why should others take the time to get to know more about you ?
do you attend social meets ?
do you contribute to the forums other than asking for help ?
do you take time to get to know people beyond hinting at sex ?
considering some of the above may get further than standing still, but there are no guarantees
i hope you stick around and make it work for you
In as much as i agreed to all what you've said so far, but i dont think i could agree with getting to know someone and not just hint at sex from my first contact.
This is not a relationship site. Its a sex site. Why should i start trying to know a woman's ways of life and what she does for a living before arranging the 'Now lets fuck' bit?
As for me, i hint at sex straight on because this is a sex site and not a relationship site...simples
its not a sex site, its a swinging site...
Seriously for many on here there is a difference, and one of the differences is we expect to be treated with respect, and are still filthy in the bedroom.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"!Well thats just it isnt it "Lets Fuck" = lack of respect
Well, i now understand in as much as this may not be a respectable approach to approach people for a meet, but y'all have to also understand not everybody could do the talk really.
Like me for example, i can do the 'fuck' but rubbish in doing the 'talk', as i get nervous as to how i may be perceived as either being too desperate or want something more or something.
Since i know my own weakness that im rubbish in doing the 'talk', i just usually go straight and ask for the 'fuck', since thats why we're all here
Now, could you guys please help, whats the best way to start to approach people for a meet on site like fab,with both knowing where its going to lead to anyway. I understand there must be different approach between singles and couples, isnt it? "
Have a read of the profile of the person you are messaging and try to understand what their likes/dislikes, personality, manner etc indicate. Work out your common ground, this gives you a rough idea of what attributes you have that may appeal to them and how they would like to be approached.
True there are some ladies and couples who have one line profiles that tell you fuck all (same as there are some single guys profiles like that too). But I just tend to give these profiles a miss altogether anyway with regard to making the first contact as they tell me bugger all about the person. |
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read everyones comments everyones got a point! the thing that makes us look at a single fella is usually his current status or if he sends a message and its funny a good laugh and sense of humour is a must also confidence on the other hand over cocky look at me you cant miss out on fun with me is a no no the lady that said about respect has it, dont bother with anyone whose shallow enough to be rude or go on looks also respect the fact that everyones different and looking for what they like unfortunately single guys in this game get a rough deal we never see anyone under 35 for the simple reason the younger they are the less reliable they are how ever nt all of them and thats just our experience i am pretty sure there are some decent guys out there i have looked at your profile and you do need to re work it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"read everyones comments everyones got a point! the thing that makes us look at a single fella is usually his current status or if he sends a message and its funny a good laugh and sense of humour is a must also confidence on the other hand over cocky look at me you cant miss out on fun with me is a no no the lady that said about respect has it, dont bother with anyone whose shallow enough to be rude or go on looks also respect the fact that everyones different and looking for what they like unfortunately single guys in this game get a rough deal we never see anyone under 35 for the simple reason the younger they are the less reliable they are how ever nt all of them and thats just our experience i am pretty sure there are some decent guys out there i have looked at your profile and you do need to re work it "
To be honest I'd judge how reliable someone is from their veris as to whether they exist and actually show up. I'd agree with everything else you've said except the part about single guys having it rough.
I work around 70 hours a week. Now when I get spare time to meet up would I rather...a) Look though my dozen or so messages for the day and choose someone who fits my wants.
b) Sent a well thought-out message to someone who catches my eye that usually receives a response before having a chat and meeting up?
c) Comb through the thousand messages I've received that day in the hope of finding someone who I can actually get on with (and of course most of these are the blanket bomb cut and paste shite) spending three or four hours dealing with messages before I have no time left to actually meet up?
I do both a) and b) on a regular basis. I haven't done c) yet and nor would I want to. But if I were a woman or couple I'd be forced to...
Still think single guys get the rough deal lol? |
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well you are obviously the exception to the rule lol with thousands of messages in a day im surprised u have time to work but hey ho good for you and yes i do think single guys have a rough deal im guilty of it myself been let down to often by younger guys to keep giving them the benefit of the doubt doesnt mean im right im not just means im tired of the bs!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"read everyones comments everyones got a point! the thing that makes us look at a single fella is usually his current status or if he sends a message and its funny a good laugh and sense of humour is a must also confidence on the other hand over cocky look at me you cant miss out on fun with me is a no no the lady that said about respect has it, dont bother with anyone whose shallow enough to be rude or go on looks also respect the fact that everyones different and looking for what they like unfortunately single guys in this game get a rough deal we never see anyone under 35 for the simple reason the younger they are the less reliable they are how ever nt all of them and thats just our experience i am pretty sure there are some decent guys out there i have looked at your profile and you do need to re work it
To be honest I'd judge how reliable someone is from their veris as to whether they exist and actually show up. I'd agree with everything else you've said except the part about single guys having it rough.
I work around 70 hours a week. Now when I get spare time to meet up would I rather...a) Look though my dozen or so messages for the day and choose someone who fits my wants.
b) Sent a well thought-out message to someone who catches my eye that usually receives a response before having a chat and meeting up?
c) Comb through the thousand messages I've received that day in the hope of finding someone who I can actually get on with (and of course most of these are the blanket bomb cut and paste shite) spending three or four hours dealing with messages before I have no time left to actually meet up?
I do both a) and b) on a regular basis. I haven't done c) yet and nor would I want to. But if I were a woman or couple I'd be forced to...
Still think single guys get the rough deal lol?"
Lucky you getting so many messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i`d be happy with 1 msg aslong as they fitted the bill
suppose alot assume we (single guys) msg every woman onhere trying to get a meet
ive contacted 5 or 6 since ive been here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well you are obviously the exception to the rule lol with thousands of messages in a day im surprised u have time to work but hey ho good for you and yes i do think single guys have a rough deal im guilty of it myself been let down to often by younger guys to keep giving them the benefit of the doubt doesnt mean im right im not just means im tired of the bs! "
That's the whole point. I DON'T get a thousand or more a day. I get usually between six or seven on a slow day and perhaps twenty on a good day, averaging about a dozen like I said. But if I was a couple or femme I'd be looking at up to a thousand, which means I'd either have to forget having time to organise meets or jack in work.
That's why I'm quite happy being a single guy... |
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well i guess the fact that we r both bi filters a lot out for us we work on an average of 10-20 a day depending on whether we've posted a meet or not my point is and i get where your coming from i'm guilty of not looking at the single guys unless the humor stands out so i stand by what i said earlier some single guys have a rough deal on sites like this due to over saturation and a few dicks letting the good ones down x point over |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think the bad single men make it harder for the rest
I think they make it easier for those who get swinging and this site, its so much easier to stand out from the crowd when the majority have the worst message conduct or profiles
I think a lot of guys get carried away when they finally get a reply and assume that means they getting a meet, when really there's a lot more work and bonding to go on before that works out for a planned (not short notice) meet
If u look at guys with many verifications quite often the trend is that the women and couples had a good connection with them instead of just being about reviewing the fuck, often most people with only fuck review verifications have hardly any compared to those who are making a great impression and great friends along the way
I think as well fuck verifications are borderline meaningless, often its you say I'm amazing ill say you are, but when its saying how much a great person or couple they are expressing the connection they had or have then I think they are worth ten fuck reviews, especially if you want to be or play with swingers yourself |
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By *y_1Man
over a year ago
Here n there |
"Ive been on here for 4 months and cant seem to get anywhere,does this mean im not supposed to be here?Im not sure how much longer i should leave it before i leave.Feedback please."
patience
face pic
tr_stworthyness
being genuine
non pushy
try attending a social or two then forlk see who you are |
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