FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > How do decide which messages to reply ?
How do decide which messages to reply ?
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By *arkbane OP Man
over a year ago
East lerds |
How do you decide which messages you reply to ?
Is it all in the attached picture, so attraction ?
Is it in the written message ? So interest is shown
Is it reading their profile?
Or a mixture of all or some or a single ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you decide which messages you reply to ?
Is it all in the attached picture, so attraction ?
Is it in the written message ? So interest is shown
Is it reading their profile?
Or a mixture of all or some or a single ?
"
He could look like a sex god but if he sent me a fancy a shag message I’d just delete. Same goes if he sent me no face pic as he’s clearly ignored my profile. |
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Everyone is different.
Mine is a bit of everything. Is the message obviously about me? (95% of messages are deleted here) Any hard no or red flags in the message? Do I like the message? Do I like the profile? Any red flags? Am I potentially attracted or interested?
All of these hurdles must be overcome before I'll reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Must have visable pics either with the message or on profile. And the message must have a bit of decorum to it. Anything vulgar goes straight in the bin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I reply to virtually all my messages tbh even when my profile is unhidden
I’ve 330 unread in my inbox  "
I hide my profile when I'm not on line, don't have the time or don't have the inclination and have all my filters on! Though can get loads especially when I've put up new pics so when I get too many to reply to just hide it until the admin is up to date! Lol ... I learned very quickly how to manage it after having over 600 unread and I felt bad deleting them all to start again! |
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It all depends on the origin of the message, if off the back of a forum topic I’m likely to respond.
Ones from out of the blue all depends on the opening message and profile as TP whether I respond. |
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"It all depends on the origin of the message, if off the back of a forum topic I’m likely to respond.
Ones from out of the blue all depends on the opening message and profile as TP whether I respond. "
Yes. Forum messages are different. |
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When visible my profile is specific regarding potential playmates. It also states I won't reply to anyone outwith that: and I don't.
If the person meets what I'm looking for I always reply, even if it's a "no thanks". |
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"It all depends on the origin of the message, if off the back of a forum topic I’m likely to respond.
Ones from out of the blue all depends on the opening message and profile as TP whether I respond. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It must be nice to get enough messages for this to be an issue."
Yes but they will get 100 messages and maybe 1 or 2 will be what they are looking for.
I’d settle for that tbh  |
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"How do you decide which messages you reply to ?
Is it all in the attached picture, so attraction ?
Is it in the written message ? So interest is shown
Is it reading their profile?
Or a mixture of all or some or a single ?
"
Based on if they have read the profile and are polite, if both yes than We will always reply! |
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I usually decide whether to respond based on how interesting the message is. If it's interesting but obviously someone looking to meet rather than making conversation though I'll then check the pictures and read their profile and then decide if I still want to reply as I don't want to lead anyone on if I'm sure I'm not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to always reply to anyone who's taken the time to read my profile and add the phrase hidden therein. I'll always reply to a message where they've clearly taken some time to write a thoughtful message - even if it's just a 'you're not my type'.
I tend to reply to all couples and women. For men there are many other filters as follows...
Message content:
Hi, hey, heya, how are you, hru, great pics, you're so sexy, your pics are great, you look sexy, you look like fun...etc etc. You get the picture
Other useful filters (not exhaustive):
Bad spelling
Bad grammar
Insults or abuse
Can't accommodate
Don't match my preferences with looks
Live miles away (unless they've said in their message that they travel frequently to Bristol)
No face pics in first message
Dick pic as profile pic
No profile pic
Obvious copy and paste
Over sexual language and how they're gonna do xy and z to me
No public pics
No verifications
Nothing on their profile
I might reply to someone who falls into any of these filters if their message is decent, but it's unlikely they'll get a reply if they tick a few of these.
I'll add more of I think of any. Almost a decade of swinging and I STILL get blindsided by messages lol. |
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By *arkbane OP Man
over a year ago
East lerds |
"If there’s no attraction you’re not gonna get a reply. No matter what you write.
Hence why I get no messages  "
Seems to be the overriding case.
Bet if you ran a Scientific experiment on this it would vindicate this reasoning.
We see first with our eyes lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you decide which messages you reply to ?
Is it all in the attached picture, so attraction ?
Is it in the written message ? So interest is shown
Is it reading their profile?
Or a mixture of all or some or a single ?
"
are you asking from your perspective or a womans? |
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"I try to always reply to anyone who's taken the time to read my profile and add the phrase hidden therein. I'll always reply to a message where they've clearly taken some time to write a thoughtful message - even if it's just a 'you're not my type'.
I tend to reply to all couples and women. For men there are many other filters as follows...
Message content:
Hi, hey, heya, how are you, hru, great pics, you're so sexy, your pics are great, you look sexy, you look like fun...etc etc. You get the picture
Other useful filters (not exhaustive):
Bad spelling
Bad grammar
Insults or abuse
Can't accommodate
Don't match my preferences with looks
Live miles away (unless they've said in their message that they travel frequently to Bristol)
No face pics in first message
Dick pic as profile pic
No profile pic
Obvious copy and paste
Over sexual language and how they're gonna do xy and z to me
No public pics
No verifications
Nothing on their profile
I might reply to someone who falls into any of these filters if their message is decent, but it's unlikely they'll get a reply if they tick a few of these.
I'll add more of I think of any. Almost a decade of swinging and I STILL get blindsided by messages lol. "
Very similar for me, there are occasions when I’ll reply even if there’s no face pic for example, but only if the message is good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to always reply to anyone who's taken the time to read my profile and add the phrase hidden therein. I'll always reply to a message where they've clearly taken some time to write a thoughtful message - even if it's just a 'you're not my type'.
I tend to reply to all couples and women. For men there are many other filters as follows...
Message content:
Hi, hey, heya, how are you, hru, great pics, you're so sexy, your pics are great, you look sexy, you look like fun...etc etc. You get the picture
Other useful filters (not exhaustive):
Bad spelling
Bad grammar
Insults or abuse
Can't accommodate
Don't match my preferences with looks
Live miles away (unless they've said in their message that they travel frequently to Bristol)
No face pics in first message
Dick pic as profile pic
No profile pic
Obvious copy and paste
Over sexual language and how they're gonna do xy and z to me
No public pics
No verifications
Nothing on their profile
I might reply to someone who falls into any of these filters if their message is decent, but it's unlikely they'll get a reply if they tick a few of these.
I'll add more of I think of any. Almost a decade of swinging and I STILL get blindsided by messages lol.
Very similar for me, there are occasions when I’ll reply even if there’s no face pic for example, but only if the message is good."
Agreed. |
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"I can't think of a single instance when I haven't replied, even if only to say 'no thanks' - and only ever politely."
It's very different for women and men in that regard. I learned incredibly quickly not to reply to say no, because the responses I got back were pretty deeply unpleasant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't think of a single instance when I haven't replied, even if only to say 'no thanks' - and only ever politely."
I reply to all mine too, though it's more difficult when I have put new pics on |
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"It must be nice to get enough messages for this to be an issue."
To be honest it it down to the way a profile is written....if it seems like you are up for anything then a female profile will get lots of chancers  |
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"I can't think of a single instance when I haven't replied, even if only to say 'no thanks' - and only ever politely.
I reply to all mine too, though it's more difficult when I have put new pics on "
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"I can't think of a single instance when I haven't replied, even if only to say 'no thanks' - and only ever politely.
It's very different for women and men in that regard. I learned incredibly quickly not to reply to say no, because the responses I got back were pretty deeply unpleasant. "
Those are most definitely ignored and deleted |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"Everyone is different.
Mine is a bit of everything. Is the message obviously about me? (95% of messages are deleted here) Any hard no or red flags in the message? Do I like the message? Do I like the profile? Any red flags? Am I potentially attracted or interested?
All of these hurdles must be overcome before I'll reply. "
This. Plus no attached dick pics. If there is no attached face photo I'll reply if everything works. I don't expect people to send one straight away. |
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"I can't think of a single instance when I haven't replied, even if only to say 'no thanks' - and only ever politely.
It's very different for women and men in that regard. I learned incredibly quickly not to reply to say no, because the responses I got back were pretty deeply unpleasant.
Those are most definitely ignored and deleted"
I've found I get less unpleasant pushback if I let my delete be my no. |
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"Everyone is different.
Mine is a bit of everything. Is the message obviously about me? (95% of messages are deleted here) Any hard no or red flags in the message? Do I like the message? Do I like the profile? Any red flags? Am I potentially attracted or interested?
All of these hurdles must be overcome before I'll reply.
This. Plus no attached dick pics. If there is no attached face photo I'll reply if everything works. I don't expect people to send one straight away."
No dick pics is in my profile, so that too, lol |
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For us it's always been and will always be quality over quantity
We reply to every message even if there not for us as it's polite and good etiquette
We'd rather have one decent message over 1000 "wannna fuck" messages x
Ray |
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Anything more than one line and references some of the content of our profile will definitely get a response. Even if it's to politely decline.
I would estimate that only around 10% of our messages actually hit this pretty minimal criteria. It blows my mind that people think we will welcome them in to our sex life and potentially our home off the back of 'fancy a meet tonight' message.
Especially when their profile contains no pics or info about what they are like and what they are looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I try to always reply to anyone who's taken the time to read my profile and add the phrase hidden therein. I'll always reply to a message where they've clearly taken some time to write a thoughtful message - even if it's just a 'you're not my type'.
I tend to reply to all couples and women. For men there are many other filters as follows...
Message content:
Hi, hey, heya, how are you, hru, great pics, you're so sexy, your pics are great, you look sexy, you look like fun...etc etc. You get the picture
Other useful filters (not exhaustive):
Bad spelling
Bad grammar
Insults or abuse
Can't accommodate
Don't match my preferences with looks
Live miles away (unless they've said in their message that they travel frequently to Bristol)
No face pics in first message
Dick pic as profile pic
No profile pic
Obvious copy and paste
Over sexual language and how they're gonna do xy and z to me
No public pics
No verifications
Nothing on their profile
I might reply to someone who falls into any of these filters if their message is decent, but it's unlikely they'll get a reply if they tick a few of these.
I'll add more of I think of any. Almost a decade of swinging and I STILL get blindsided by messages lol. "
Hmm, I am guilty of copy and paste to an extent, but it's only the last sentence ''so if you'd like to talk and get to know each other, feel free to send me a message''. Everything else in the message is tailored to the profile I'm writing to.
And I wonder how big of a killer can't accommodate is. I know it's not very sexy, but I live with my folks, I can't afford to move out, but it's not like I'd meet someone when they were still in the house. Similarly I can't afford to pay full whack for a hotel room either, but I would be more than happy to go halves with whoever I was meeting. |
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I usually reply with have you read my profile.. if they say yes but its glaringly obvious they havent i then point out they have missed the very first line.. im not meeting.
If they have and i can see it i will politely explain why im not meeting.
If its just rude disrespectful or vulger i just delete |
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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago
Near Wells |
I answer most of the messages I receive. The ones I don't reply to usually have the answer to their questions in my profile. Or if the tone of the message is rude or arrogant or just not nice. |
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First thing I do now is ignore them for a week. Half leave the site 
Then I'll check profile; if they don't remotely match what my profile says then I'll leave them unread (for the rainy day when I've got nothing else on)
It seriously comes down to reading my profile
Not threatening to break in and non consentually take me
And if they make me laugh/chuckle or shake my head, I'll probably reply.
I do my thanks but no thanks as a copy and paste every now and again, which clears most my inbox admin with a few I might get lucky and then I move them over to whatsapp contacts |
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Don't see the point of long initial messages which some people insist upon, why make someone send a war and peace 1st message and then there is no attraction and no response, wasting the senders time making them jump through hoops to be ignored. Surely a short concise initial intro message should suffice and if there is no attraction then a simple no thanks should be enough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't see the point of long initial messages which some people insist upon, why make someone send a war and peace 1st message and then there is no attraction and no response, wasting the senders time making them jump through hoops to be ignored. Surely a short concise initial intro message should suffice and if there is no attraction then a simple no thanks should be enough. "
I agree to an extent. By putting the effort in with your first message you are showing the recipient you might be worth replying to. But more often than not, maybe not on here as much, but especially on POF, even the messages you put effort into just get ignored.
Which is why I think men go with the low effort, barest minimum first message. They've tried the other approach and wasted their time because it didn't work, so they've resorted to the other way.
Personally I always stick with the first approach because how you do anything is how you do everything. No sense in half-arsing it. |
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I never send one liners, if I see a profile I like and feel is compatible, having fully read the profile, I express my interest with an introduction, some reply some dont. I think it's an ego thing with some profiles and in some cases screams fake profile to me. By wanting to know the ins and outs of a cat's postierier on a 1st message, I feel sometimes recipient is maybe "getting off" by requesting to know full details of how the sender will appeal to them! What's wrong with a slow build up flirting and getting to know someone over a period of time. That's my 3 penneth any hoo  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never send one liners, if I see a profile I like and feel is compatible, having fully read the profile, I express my interest with an introduction, some reply some dont. I think it's an ego thing with some profiles and in some cases screams fake profile to me. By wanting to know the ins and outs of a cat's postierier on a 1st message, I feel sometimes recipient is maybe "getting off" by requesting to know full details of how the sender will appeal to them! What's wrong with a slow build up flirting and getting to know someone over a period of time. That's my 3 penneth any hoo "
Ah, yeah, I agree there. I have read some profiles that have a list of demands for what your first message should say and I immediately go back. The whole ''this is about me, not you'' attitude is off-putting.
My reaction to those kind of profiles is ''well, I'm here to have some fun, a laugh and maybe make some new friends along the way, and to be honest you don't sound like fun, a laugh or someone I particularly want to be friends with''.
Nothing puts me off a person faster than them thinking I'm here to serve them. Ultimately we're all here to get something that benefits us, but I'm still hopefully gonna try and make sure the other person gets what they came here for too. For me, it's about both parties getting what they came for. |
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"I never send one liners, if I see a profile I like and feel is compatible, having fully read the profile, I express my interest with an introduction, some reply some dont. I think it's an ego thing with some profiles and in some cases screams fake profile to me. By wanting to know the ins and outs of a cat's postierier on a 1st message, I feel sometimes recipient is maybe "getting off" by requesting to know full details of how the sender will appeal to them! What's wrong with a slow build up flirting and getting to know someone over a period of time. That's my 3 penneth any hoo
Ah, yeah, I agree there. I have read some profiles that have a list of demands for what your first message should say and I immediately go back. The whole ''this is about me, not you'' attitude is off-putting.
My reaction to those kind of profiles is ''well, I'm here to have some fun, a laugh and maybe make some new friends along the way, and to be honest you don't sound like fun, a laugh or someone I particularly want to be friends with''.
Nothing puts me off a person faster than them thinking I'm here to serve them. Ultimately we're all here to get something that benefits us, but I'm still hopefully gonna try and make sure the other person gets what they came here for too. For me, it's about both parties getting what they came for. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't see the point of long initial messages which some people insist upon, why make someone send a war and peace 1st message and then there is no attraction and no response, wasting the senders time making them jump through hoops to be ignored. Surely a short concise initial intro message should suffice and if there is no attraction then a simple no thanks should be enough. "
Yep. Long messages Actually put me off... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All of them! Mainly because 99% of the time it's responding to a response to my opening invite... Tbh I don't think I'd cope with being inundated so I completely understand mass deletion of messages my the lovely women on fab, you can afford to be picky if you want |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
When I receive a message the first thing I do is look at the avatar picture. If there's a cock on it or blank I delete. Then I look at there profile pictures as above.
Then I read there profile. Look at verification and location. Then I read the message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My profile is arsey for reasons.clever ones see past that.
Read my profile. If you send me a message that fits you get a reply.
If your not nice on a message your not nice in real life. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
If they've read my profile and match what I'm looking for then I reply, or if they send an articulate message they will probably get a reply. One liners, wank fodder and pic hunters get ignored. Abusers will always get reported and blocked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just did a count.
I recieved 245 messages from 26 people (mainly single women) in the last week since last Saturday. People DO message!
Single guys.... fab works. |
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"I always reply, politeness costs nothing,  "
If you’re a woman on here you don’t have time. I get 40+ messages a day. The majority are pointless and clearly from guys who haven’t read my profile (such as ‘nice tits’, ‘can I ask you something?’, ‘meet now’). Why waste my time on a guy that hasn’t read my profile? |
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"I never send one liners, if I see a profile I like and feel is compatible, having fully read the profile, I express my interest with an introduction, some reply some dont. I think it's an ego thing with some profiles and in some cases screams fake profile to me. By wanting to know the ins and outs of a cat's postierier on a 1st message, I feel sometimes recipient is maybe "getting off" by requesting to know full details of how the sender will appeal to them! What's wrong with a slow build up flirting and getting to know someone over a period of time. That's my 3 penneth any hoo
Ah, yeah, I agree there. I have read some profiles that have a list of demands for what your first message should say and I immediately go back. The whole ''this is about me, not you'' attitude is off-putting.
My reaction to those kind of profiles is ''well, I'm here to have some fun, a laugh and maybe make some new friends along the way, and to be honest you don't sound like fun, a laugh or someone I particularly want to be friends with''.
Nothing puts me off a person faster than them thinking I'm here to serve them. Ultimately we're all here to get something that benefits us, but I'm still hopefully gonna try and make sure the other person gets what they came here for too. For me, it's about both parties getting what they came for. "
Here's an alternative explanation.
I've seen thousands of messages, tens of thousands. I'm looking for someone who is doing more than carpet bombing every potential vagina that exists. I know what I'm looking for and what annoys me. So here's a guide to help those people who bother to read. |
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For us it's a case of if you don't put any effort into a message to us, we won't put any effort into getting back to you. "Hi" and "what are you up to?" just get deleted. Can't be arsed.
Any polite and respectful message will almost always get a response from us, unless it's off the back of a forum post when they could have said it on the forum.
Sometimes messages are so bad the writer gets a lecture. |
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By *arkbane OP Man
over a year ago
East lerds |
Why all the moans about too many messages lol
It’s the outcome of being on this site lol
Hearing I’m receiving far too many messages that I can’t read them all. So even if u did receive a nicely worded message it would be lost anyway in the deluge.
If you don’t want them then hide your profile simple lol
End of my 2019 rant lol ??
Have a good new year |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For us it's a case of if you don't put any effort into a message to us, we won't put any effort into getting back to you. "Hi" and "what are you up to?" just get deleted. Can't be arsed.
Any polite and respectful message will almost always get a response from us, unless it's off the back of a forum post when they could have said it on the forum.
Sometimes messages are so bad the writer gets a lecture. "
I was going to send you guys a message but just realised it isn't awful enough to get a response. Need some tips from other guys here.....
As soon as I've found the Sky remote I'll have an appropriate matching pic.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just did a count.
I recieved 245 messages from 26 people (mainly single women) in the last week since last Saturday. People DO message!
Single guys.... fab works. "
What’s you’re secret |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just did a count.
I recieved 245 messages from 26 people (mainly single women) in the last week since last Saturday. People DO message!
Single guys.... fab works.
What’s you’re secret "
I'm interested in people. Not sex. |
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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago
wolverhampton |
"I always reply, politeness costs nothing,
If you’re a woman on here you don’t have time. I get 40+ messages a day. The majority are pointless and clearly from guys who haven’t read my profile (such as ‘nice tits’, ‘can I ask you something?’, ‘meet now’). Why waste my time on a guy that hasn’t read my profile? "
lol ok politeness with respect, as both politeness and respect cost nothing, its good manners, |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
Wales |
If i’m in a good mood i reply to all.
Bad mood then nearly all apart from the ones that just fuck me off with their lack of effort. “Hi” for example. Feck off and come back and see me when i’ve replied to these other guys who given me a paragraph!!!
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"It must be nice to get enough messages for this to be an issue."
Hahaha this. We get very few messages (that aren’t already friends) so it’s never a problem to reply to everyone even if it’s a thanks but no thanks message! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just did a count.
I recieved 245 messages from 26 people (mainly single women) in the last week since last Saturday. People DO message!
Single guys.... fab works.
What’s you’re secret
I'm interested in people. Not sex. "
Replying to my own post. Sorry.
I think on this site we are sometimes so focused on sex that we skip the part where we get to know each other which for me is the best part. |
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"I always reply, politeness costs nothing,
If you’re a woman on here you don’t have time. I get 40+ messages a day. The majority are pointless and clearly from guys who haven’t read my profile (such as ‘nice tits’, ‘can I ask you something?’, ‘meet now’). Why waste my time on a guy that hasn’t read my profile?
lol ok politeness with respect, as both politeness and respect cost nothing, its good manners, "
Good manners starts with reading a profile and respecting the content and writer. |
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"Why all the moans about too many messages lol
It’s the outcome of being on this site lol
Hearing I’m receiving far too many messages that I can’t read them all. So even if u did receive a nicely worded message it would be lost anyway in the deluge.
If you don’t want them then hide your profile simple lol
End of my 2019 rant lol ??
Have a good new year "
So you want less women on the site, who'd receive even more messages...? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
68 unread at the moment because they’re all so short I don’t need to open the messages to read them. So I’d say send longer messages and I’m more likely to read and reply |
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"Why all the moans about too many messages lol
It’s the outcome of being on this site lol
Hearing I’m receiving far too many messages that I can’t read them all. So even if u did receive a nicely worded message it would be lost anyway in the deluge.
If you don’t want them then hide your profile simple lol
End of my 2019 rant lol ??
Have a good new year
So you want less women on the site, who'd receive even more messages...? "
Why such hostility & sarcasm. People are expressing opinions, theres always one negative so and so looking for an argument, some people lighten up just a touch. Merry Christmas |
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"I always reply, politeness costs nothing, "
Exactly...it is in very short supply on this website...but gives a clear picture as to who to completely avoid....shame it appears at odds to the whole ethos of “swingers” |
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"I always reply, politeness costs nothing, "
Some people get 100s of messages allegedly. Would you REALLY spend time replying to people you don't want to meet instead of those you do?
I've never received 100s and I could easily reply to those that wrote but my profiles states local, submissive, tall, single men. Why would I waste my time replying to a 5ft 2 married Dom from Newcastle!  |
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By *E_13Couple
over a year ago
Burton on trent |
If we put a meet on we have sometimes literally had 100 ish messages.
For me I wouldn't reply to any one line things like
Hi
Fancy a meet
Up for fun
Etc etc
Also rarely reply to anyone who has no pics or verifications.
|
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"I always reply, politeness costs nothing,
Some people get 100s of messages allegedly. Would you REALLY spend time replying to people you don't want to meet instead of those you do?
I've never received 100s and I could easily reply to those that wrote but my profiles states local, submissive, tall, single men. Why would I waste my time replying to a 5ft 2 married Dom from Newcastle! "
Exactly... lack of info on profiles...or totally open profiles with bits hanging out looks like you are gagging for it....So will get all and sundry messaging...
It is so easy to be exact about what you are looking to narrow down the field .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Messages with no attached face pic get deleted straight away. So do messages like ‘hey how’s you’ or ‘fancy a chat and see where it goes?’ I’m not here for chatting.
Get to the point, send me a pic. Let me know whereabouts you are, general availability (if we can’t meet for a drink in the next week or so, no point in chatting.) ugh and the long, shit porno copy and paste messages telling me what you’d do to me. Couldn’t care less mate. |
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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago
wolverhampton |
"I always reply, politeness costs nothing,
Some people get 100s of messages allegedly. Would you REALLY spend time replying to people you don't want to meet instead of those you do?
I've never received 100s and I could easily reply to those that wrote but my profiles states local, submissive, tall, single men. Why would I waste my time replying to a 5ft 2 married Dom from Newcastle!
"
i always reply , as i dont get thousands, just the occasion one , that's why i always reply, politeness costs nothing, how do you feel when you send a message and get no reply, |
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"Messages with no attached face pic get deleted straight away. So do messages like ‘hey how’s you’ or ‘fancy a chat and see where it goes?’ I’m not here for chatting.
Get to the point, send me a pic. Let me know whereabouts you are, general availability (if we can’t meet for a drink in the next week or so, no point in chatting.) ugh and the long, shit porno copy and paste messages telling me what you’d do to me. Couldn’t care less mate. "
I think giving general availability and arranging to meet for a drink in the 1st message might be a little bit presumptuous and 9 times out of 10 would probably lead to an instant delete |
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We'll reply (even a polite no) if..
They've read the profile
Sent a face pic
Sent a nice respectful first message
We won't reply (and will often just block) if..
It's vulgar or rude
It's just a bunch of dick pics
It's anything similar to "wanna fuck"
It's aimed at just one of us |
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"Why all the moans about too many messages lol
It’s the outcome of being on this site lol
Hearing I’m receiving far too many messages that I can’t read them all. So even if u did receive a nicely worded message it would be lost anyway in the deluge.
If you don’t want them then hide your profile simple lol
End of my 2019 rant lol ??
Have a good new year "
I read them all. I delete the majority because they’re rubbish, but if they meet the bare minimum I’ll reply - usually to say no thanks. I suspect most people mean they get too many crappy messages to respond to all of them, and I’d agree with that. Why should any of us put more effort into a reply than was put into the initial message? |
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"I always reply, politeness costs nothing,
If you’re a woman on here you don’t have time. I get 40+ messages a day. The majority are pointless and clearly from guys who haven’t read my profile (such as ‘nice tits’, ‘can I ask you something?’, ‘meet now’). Why waste my time on a guy that hasn’t read my profile?
lol ok politeness with respect, as both politeness and respect cost nothing, its good manners, "
Sure, politeness and respect cost nothing. But a lot of the messages we get don’t show either, so why should we give them more respect than they give us? |
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"I always reply, politeness costs nothing,
Some people get 100s of messages allegedly. Would you REALLY spend time replying to people you don't want to meet instead of those you do?
I've never received 100s and I could easily reply to those that wrote but my profiles states local, submissive, tall, single men. Why would I waste my time replying to a 5ft 2 married Dom from Newcastle!
i always reply , as i dont get thousands, just the occasion one , that's why i always reply, politeness costs nothing, how do you feel when you send a message and get no reply, "
I don’t really care tbh. If I reply to someone and they don’t reply to me, then I figure they weren’t that interested in the first place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you decide which messages you reply to ?
Is it all in the attached picture, so attraction ?
Is it in the written message ? So interest is shown
Is it reading their profile?
Or a mixture of all or some or a single ?
"
Thats easy,we only reply to those that match what we are looking for on our profile,even if it's just to say no thanks. |
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"I always reply, politeness costs nothing,
Some people get 100s of messages allegedly. Would you REALLY spend time replying to people you don't want to meet instead of those you do?
I've never received 100s and I could easily reply to those that wrote but my profiles states local, submissive, tall, single men. Why would I waste my time replying to a 5ft 2 married Dom from Newcastle!
i always reply , as i dont get thousands, just the occasion one , that's why i always reply, politeness costs nothing, how do you feel when you send a message and get no reply, "
You are missing the point. I've never received 100s of messages, I have a partner, family and a life. My limited time is to meet a specific type of playmate.
I have no intention of answering messages from people the other end of the country I'll never meet. Kudos to those who reply to all regardless. I have more time behind me than ahead and I don't intend wasting it on people who don't respect my wishes...especially as I'm seeking a submissive! |
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"I always reply, politeness costs nothing,
Some people get 100s of messages allegedly. Would you REALLY spend time replying to people you don't want to meet instead of those you do?
I've never received 100s and I could easily reply to those that wrote but my profiles states local, submissive, tall, single men. Why would I waste my time replying to a 5ft 2 married Dom from Newcastle!
i always reply , as i dont get thousands, just the occasion one , that's why i always reply, politeness costs nothing, how do you feel when you send a message and get no reply,
I don’t really care tbh. If I reply to someone and they don’t reply to me, then I figure they weren’t that interested in the first place."
Unless it's changed, there's a limit to the number of messages you can send. Why waste saying no thanks to people who haven't read your profile?!! |
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By *bthreeCouple
over a year ago
sidmouth/seaton |
"How do you decide which messages you reply to ?
Is it all in the attached picture, so attraction ?
Is it in the written message ? So interest is shown
Is it reading their profile?
Or a mixture of all or some or a single ?
He could look like a sex god but if he sent me a fancy a shag message I’d just delete. Same goes if he sent me no face pic as he’s clearly ignored my profile. "
What she said xx |
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I try to read and answer most of my messages.
If any of them contain fancy a fuck, meet now, whore, slut, slag or name calling like babe then I just delete them because clearly they haven't read my profile. |
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"How do you decide which messages you reply to ?
Is it all in the attached picture, so attraction ?
Is it in the written message ? So interest is shown
Is it reading their profile?
Or a mixture of all or some or a single ?
"
The message has to be polite and not just a cut and paste. That will usually be enough to get a response from us. Whether we want to engage in a conversation beyond a polite response is dependent on everything, the content of the message, the content of their profile, their photos and verifications. It’s the whole package for us... the whole person or couple, not just one thing or another. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Tbh, I actually enjoy reading the profiles but I don't message most of them.
Just fun knowing the characters and their fantasies.
Some message cos I have viewed. That's cool. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Compliments are always nice. But anything pushy like demanding a face pic or demanding a meet, instant delete and block "
With body like hers, Compliments would be unending.
Xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me, it's definitely the effort that they put into their message. Even if I'm not interested sexually, I will always reply to someone who puts the effort into creating a conversation. "
Nice to know you exist on Fabs. |
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By *arrasicMan
over a year ago
birmingham |
I had a mesg yesterday from a to good to be true couple saying looking for over 60s reply with a frend request and a face pic but hadn't even looked at my profile i replied send a clit pic didn't hear nothing back |
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All of it. We look at their profiles before pics. Then we read their veris and, very important, we read the veris they leave others. If their Veri is all "she took my huge cock/load" etc then we presume their ego is bigger than their cock and we're not interested. Out doesn't have to be the world's greatest message but it can't be a fancy a fuck type either.
We're not special but we know what we like and what we want. Meet our criteria and you stand a chance  |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
"I try to always reply to anyone who's taken the time to read my profile and add the phrase hidden therein. I'll always reply to a message where they've clearly taken some time to write a thoughtful message - even if it's just a 'you're not my type'.
I tend to reply to all couples and women. For men there are many other filters as follows...
Message content:
Hi, hey, heya, how are you, hru, great pics, you're so sexy, your pics are great, you look sexy, you look like fun...etc etc. You get the picture
Other useful filters (not exhaustive):
Bad spelling
Bad grammar
Insults or abuse
Can't accommodate
Don't match my preferences with looks
Live miles away (unless they've said in their message that they travel frequently to Bristol)
No face pics in first message
Dick pic as profile pic
No profile pic
Obvious copy and paste
Over sexual language and how they're gonna do xy and z to me
No public pics
No verifications
Nothing on their profile
I might reply to someone who falls into any of these filters if their message is decent, but it's unlikely they'll get a reply if they tick a few of these.
I'll add more of I think of any. Almost a decade of swinging and I STILL get blindsided by messages lol. "
Yes, pretty much all of this.
Occasionally I will reply telling them what they did wrong in their introductory message in the hope that they might learn something & make more effort for the next girl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Agreed we reply to every lady or couple that message. We ignore men because we don’t want to meet any and if they bothered to read the profile they would have seen that. |
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"Occasionally I will reply telling them what they did wrong in their introductory message in the hope that they might learn something & make more effort for the next girl"
I’ve done this a couple of times and always get a load of abuse back, so I don’t bother anymore. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Why all the moans about too many messages lol
It’s the outcome of being on this site lol
Hearing I’m receiving far too many messages that I can’t read them all. So even if u did receive a nicely worded message it would be lost anyway in the deluge.
If you don’t want them then hide your profile simple lol
End of my 2019 rant lol ??
Have a good new year
So you want less women on the site, who'd receive even more messages...? "
I think that's what he's saying?! If profiles were read there would be no reason to send messages that waste time for both parties. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Agreed we reply to every lady or couple that message. We ignore men because we don’t want to meet any and if they bothered to read the profile they would have seen that. "
Why not use your filters and block them then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Agreed we reply to every lady or couple that message. We ignore men because we don’t want to meet any and if they bothered to read the profile they would have seen that.
Why not use your filters and block them then? "
Because when you block you can’t see who is viewing your profile. And we had a guy stalking us and trying to find where we lived. If we couldn’t see that we would have had worse trouble from him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone is different.
Mine is a bit of everything. Is the message obviously about me? (95% of messages are deleted here) Any hard no or red flags in the message? Do I like the message? Do I like the profile? Any red flags? Am I potentially attracted or interested?
All of these hurdles must be overcome before I'll reply. "
Yep. |
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