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How do you deal with it?
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I'm so sorry for your loss.
I had one of these last year. The family were really good about it. They told us the time of the funeral and encouraged us to light a candle and reflect on what X had meant to us. They also did other things for those who would have attended, and are planning on holding a celebration of life party when it's safe to meet again. |
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Op, we were lucky in that we could give our Dad a send off the Friday before lockdown last March and I hate to think how it might have been just a week later so all I can say in all honesty is my thoughts are with you and yours at this difficult time..
Look after each other and reach out if you need to ..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm so sorry for your loss.
I had one of these last year. The family were really good about it. They told us the time of the funeral and encouraged us to light a candle and reflect on what X had meant to us. They also did other things for those who would have attended, and are planning on holding a celebration of life party when it's safe to meet again."
They're going to live stream her funeral so i can be there virtually. But it's upset me so much. |
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"I'm so sorry for your loss.
I had one of these last year. The family were really good about it. They told us the time of the funeral and encouraged us to light a candle and reflect on what X had meant to us. They also did other things for those who would have attended, and are planning on holding a celebration of life party when it's safe to meet again.
They're going to live stream her funeral so i can be there virtually. But it's upset me so much."
I get that. It's bloody hard xx I'm sorry |
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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago
trouble most likely, or creating it :) |
"Not been able to go to someone's funeral because of lockdown."
my partner and I are going through this right now.
We will be attending the virtual funeral and have a zoom call after for the friends and family to come together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not been able to go to someone's funeral because of lockdown. my partner and I are going through this right now.
We will be attending the virtual funeral and have a zoom call after for the friends and family to come together. "
How do you mean "attending the virtual funeral" ? |
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"Not been able to go to someone's funeral because of lockdown. my partner and I are going through this right now.
We will be attending the virtual funeral and have a zoom call after for the friends and family to come together.
How do you mean "attending the virtual funeral" ?"
We had our Dads streamed as some family and friends were semi shielding/unwell etc, maybe its that? |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
An elderly friend of mine died a few weeks ago. I wasn't able to go but the family are organising a remembrance service in September when hopefully we will be able to sing our hearts out for a much loved lady.
I have visited her grave and planted a couple of alium bulbs from her garden, I hope they grow, they were magnificent in flower. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My children's grandma (on their dads side but I was very close to her too) died two weeks ago. We can't go to her funeral unfortunately so we are going to watch the live stream, light a candle and spend the day remembering her. It's not the same but it's all we've got for now until we can do a memorial service for her.
I'm sorry for your loss OP  xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"An elderly friend of mine died a few weeks ago. I wasn't able to go but the family are organising a remembrance service in September when hopefully we will be able to sing our hearts out for a much loved lady.
I have visited her grave and planted a couple of alium bulbs from her garden, I hope they grow, they were magnificent in flower."
That's lovely x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My children's grandma (on their dads side but I was very close to her too) died two weeks ago. We can't go to her funeral unfortunately so we are going to watch the live stream, light a candle and spend the day remembering her. It's not the same but it's all we've got for now until we can do a memorial service for her.
I'm sorry for your loss OP xx"
And me for yours. Thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Had 2 many funerals unable to atrend due to this damn virus. Some had live stream others i just reflected on my time with them at the time of their funeral.sorry for your loss op. K  "
Thank you. It's so hard isn't it. |
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Yup been there at the end of last year my mum died and unfortunately everyone who was going to attend myself included where either sick with covid or isolating because of it.
Her funeral went ahead with no-one in attendance.
Break's my heart to this day.
Having to watch your mum's funeral on a YouTube channel is so surreal.
This is one of the reasons I get so annoyed at the covid deniers who have no idea what people are going through.
OP the only comfort I can give I'm afraid is that you're not alone going through this shitty situation other than that being there or not it's always going to be difficult. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not been able to go to someone's funeral because of lockdown."
Went to my brother in laws a couple of weeks ago. Not nice. No hugging. No going back after. Was do impersonal. Very sad times |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yup been there at the end of last year my mum died and unfortunately everyone who was going to attend myself included where either sick with covid or isolating because of it.
Her funeral went ahead with no-one in attendance.
Break's my heart to this day.
Having to watch your mum's funeral on a YouTube channel is so surreal.
This is one of the reasons I get so annoyed at the covid deniers who have no idea what people are going through.
OP the only comfort I can give I'm afraid is that you're not alone going through this shitty situation other than that being there or not it's always going to be difficult."
I can't imagine the pain you're going through because of that. My heart goes out too you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not been able to go to someone's funeral because of lockdown.
Went to my brother in laws a couple of weeks ago. Not nice. No hugging. No going back after. Was do impersonal. Very sad times"
So cold. So hard to deal with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not been able to go to someone's funeral because of lockdown.
Went to my brother in laws a couple of weeks ago. Not nice. No hugging. No going back after. Was do impersonal. Very sad times
So cold. So hard to deal with."
my grandads was the same and organised seating one household per row so sitting alone too
its probably very little comfort OP but all i can say is that being there in person wouldn’t feel like the proper send off you would like to give them anymore than watching from home will ... its all just so surreal and detached 
maybe at home you can introduce some personal touches to remember them by like some of their favourite wine or music following it for a little mini wake and hugging your family tight x |
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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago
Blyth |
It's my uncles funeral on Wednesday. He lived down south and we are up north so can't attend. The funeral directors have provided an internet link so that we can log on from home and at least watch the service live from home.
It's so sad that we can't be there in person but we have no choice and will have to make the most of it. |
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By *imis3Woman
over a year ago
Bristol, South West UK |
"An elderly friend of mine died a few weeks ago. I wasn't able to go but the family are organising a remembrance service in September when hopefully we will be able to sing our hearts out for a much loved lady.
I have visited her grave and planted a couple of alium bulbs from her garden, I hope they grow, they were magnificent in flower."
That was so lovely  |
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"My children's grandma (on their dads side but I was very close to her too) died two weeks ago. We can't go to her funeral unfortunately so we are going to watch the live stream, light a candle and spend the day remembering her. It's not the same but it's all we've got for now until we can do a memorial service for her.
I'm sorry for your loss OP xx"
Lighting a candle with people you can seems a grate idea.
But also talk to people.
Loss is strange and diferant for everyone You don't forget you lern to live with it. So try to remember the good times |
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"Yup been there at the end of last year my mum died and unfortunately everyone who was going to attend myself included where either sick with covid or isolating because of it.
Her funeral went ahead with no-one in attendance.
Break's my heart to this day.
Having to watch your mum's funeral on a YouTube channel is so surreal.
This is one of the reasons I get so annoyed at the covid deniers who have no idea what people are going through.
OP the only comfort I can give I'm afraid is that you're not alone going through this shitty situation other than that being there or not it's always going to be difficult."
Cor blimey, that was hard to read. Sorry for you loss and the situation. |
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"Yup been there at the end of last year my mum died and unfortunately everyone who was going to attend myself included where either sick with covid or isolating because of it.
Her funeral went ahead with no-one in attendance.
Break's my heart to this day.
Having to watch your mum's funeral on a YouTube channel is so surreal.
This is one of the reasons I get so annoyed at the covid deniers who have no idea what people are going through.
OP the only comfort I can give I'm afraid is that you're not alone going through this shitty situation other than that being there or not it's always going to be difficult.
Cor blimey, that was hard to read. Sorry for you loss and the situation."
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yup been there at the end of last year my mum died and unfortunately everyone who was going to attend myself included where either sick with covid or isolating because of it.
Her funeral went ahead with no-one in attendance.
Break's my heart to this day.
Having to watch your mum's funeral on a YouTube channel is so surreal.
This is one of the reasons I get so annoyed at the covid deniers who have no idea what people are going through.
OP the only comfort I can give I'm afraid is that you're not alone going through this shitty situation other than that being there or not it's always going to be difficult."
That's one hell of a tough situation for you all and especially your mum.
Keep strong and pay respects when you can all get together again x |
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To be completely honest, I personally would be thankful for not having to go to a funeral... I hate funerals.
I would much rather pay my respects to family members in a more personal way, and grieve in private.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not been able to go to someone's funeral because of lockdown.
Went to my brother in laws a couple of weeks ago. Not nice. No hugging. No going back after. Was do impersonal. Very sad times
So cold. So hard to deal with."
Yes it was. My sister needed hugs and lots and couldn't have any |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's my uncles funeral on Wednesday. He lived down south and we are up north so can't attend. The funeral directors have provided an internet link so that we can log on from home and at least watch the service live from home.
It's so sad that we can't be there in person but we have no choice and will have to make the most of it."
I live in Hartlepool and drove to the isle of wight so I could attend. You are allowed on compassionate grounds |
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Pre-covid, but my mum died three years ago, and due to horrendous family fallouts, my dad and I - who were the ones who sat with her during the final moments in hospital - stayed away from the funeral. The funeral organisation was effectively hijacked by my siblings, if we had gone it would have turned into a screaming match.
Instead we spent the day with a couple of close friends of mum and dad, similarly not welcome at the funeral because they had come out as supportive to dad. We talked about times past, drank tea and ate cake (my parents have never drank alcohol), and watched a rainstorm over the sea. It was sad, but we celebrated her life.
I believe that my siblings ran the funeral the way they wanted to, then had a boozy reception in a local pub.
Weeks later I sat in church on my own (I'm the only believer of the family), lit a candle, started my grieving properly. I still think of her every day.
I feel now that a funeral is just an event, just a place and time, and I can feel my love and grief for someone wherever I am in time and space. If it occurs that I outlive my siblings, I won't be going to their funerals. Dad has requested that he doesn't have a funeral, instead a cremation without any service and nobody attending. Afterwards I am to mix his ashes with mum's, and scatter them in the sea on a stormy day. I have no idea what will happen when I die, I won't be there to watch, I guess it will be up to whomever might care to do what they feel will be best for their own grieving. |
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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago
trouble most likely, or creating it :) |
"Not been able to go to someone's funeral because of lockdown. my partner and I are going through this right now.
We will be attending the virtual funeral and have a zoom call after for the friends and family to come together.
How do you mean "attending the virtual funeral" ?"
well the actual funeral but most of us have to be their virtually. My partner has a poem to read that will be shown to those there. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Pre-covid, but my mum died three years ago, and due to horrendous family fallouts, my dad and I - who were the ones who sat with her during the final moments in hospital - stayed away from the funeral. The funeral organisation was effectively hijacked by my siblings, if we had gone it would have turned into a screaming match.
Instead we spent the day with a couple of close friends of mum and dad, similarly not welcome at the funeral because they had come out as supportive to dad. We talked about times past, drank tea and ate cake (my parents have never drank alcohol), and watched a rainstorm over the sea. It was sad, but we celebrated her life.
I believe that my siblings ran the funeral the way they wanted to, then had a boozy reception in a local pub.
Weeks later I sat in church on my own (I'm the only believer of the family), lit a candle, started my grieving properly. I still think of her every day.
I feel now that a funeral is just an event, just a place and time, and I can feel my love and grief for someone wherever I am in time and space. If it occurs that I outlive my siblings, I won't be going to their funerals. Dad has requested that he doesn't have a funeral, instead a cremation without any service and nobody attending. Afterwards I am to mix his ashes with mum's, and scatter them in the sea on a stormy day. I have no idea what will happen when I die, I won't be there to watch, I guess it will be up to whomever might care to do what they feel will be best for their own grieving."
Thank you for telling me about that. I can't how it all felt but I'm glad you found your own way |
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"Pre-covid, but my mum died three years ago, and due to horrendous family fallouts, my dad and I - who were the ones who sat with her during the final moments in hospital - stayed away from the funeral. The funeral organisation was effectively hijacked by my siblings, if we had gone it would have turned into a screaming match.
Instead we spent the day with a couple of close friends of mum and dad, similarly not welcome at the funeral because they had come out as supportive to dad. We talked about times past, drank tea and ate cake (my parents have never drank alcohol), and watched a rainstorm over the sea. It was sad, but we celebrated her life.
I believe that my siblings ran the funeral the way they wanted to, then had a boozy reception in a local pub.
Weeks later I sat in church on my own (I'm the only believer of the family), lit a candle, started my grieving properly. I still think of her every day.
I feel now that a funeral is just an event, just a place and time, and I can feel my love and grief for someone wherever I am in time and space. If it occurs that I outlive my siblings, I won't be going to their funerals. Dad has requested that he doesn't have a funeral, instead a cremation without any service and nobody attending. Afterwards I am to mix his ashes with mum's, and scatter them in the sea on a stormy day. I have no idea what will happen when I die, I won't be there to watch, I guess it will be up to whomever might care to do what they feel will be best for their own grieving.
Thank you for telling me about that. I can't how it all felt but I'm glad you found your own way "
I just hope that those who need it now can find their way through their own grieving. |
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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago
Blyth |
"It's my uncles funeral on Wednesday. He lived down south and we are up north so can't attend. The funeral directors have provided an internet link so that we can log on from home and at least watch the service live from home.
It's so sad that we can't be there in person but we have no choice and will have to make the most of it.
I live in Hartlepool and drove to the isle of wight so I could attend. You are allowed on compassionate grounds "
We did consider driving down but couldn't find a hotel that would let us book rooms. My parents are well into their 80s and couldn't handle a return journey the same day. |
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