FabSwingers.com > Forums > Virus > Sti testing am I being too harsh?
Sti testing am I being too harsh?
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Hi all. So my hubby and I sti check once a month. I’ll do a test one month hubby does a test the next month.
Is it wrong to ask people when their last test was and for a screen shot of the results?
Most couples we find test regularly but single men have either never tested or say they play safe all the time and they are clean.
We have found they get arsey as we say about oral and it still spreads sti’s even if you use a condom for actual intercourse.
Does anyone else like results before they play (mainly from single guys) or am I being to picky and expecting too much from people?
Just wondered how other people felt about the whole sti and testing etc 
Thanks x
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Id say its fine to ask, we're all adults so no reason anyone whould take offense, if they do thats a huge red flag. The only issue with screenshots is not all resuts are delivered the same way. Some are email, some are texts and some are even automated recordings. For example mine get a basic text message sent to me via the NHS and heres here how my last one appeared
Your tests for Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, HIV, Hepatitis B on 30/09 were Negative (show no infection). It is important you act on any other messages from Umbrella if they advise the need for repeat tests or treatment, since these will be for results from different test samples.
Your test for Syphilis on [02/10] was normal.
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Nothing wrong with asking and you should do what makes you feel safest.
If other people do things differently that's up to them.
I always think a sti test is a good way of indicating they were clear at the date the test was done. It doesn't tell you about their status since that date though |
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We re had people take pics of their computer screens with their results displayed which is fine and the fact you have a message of some sort tells us you test regular. I know there’s a small risk no matter what but it feels nicer knowing you take care of yourself and want to be clean rather than just take chances |
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"Id say its fine to ask, we're all adults so no reason anyone whould take offense, if they do thats a huge red flag. The only issue with screenshots is not all resuts are delivered the same way. Some are email, some are texts and some are even automated recordings. For example mine get a basic text message sent to me via the NHS and heres here how my last one appeared
Your tests for Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, HIV, Hepatitis B on 30/09 were Negative (show no infection). It is important you act on any other messages from Umbrella if they advise the need for repeat tests or treatment, since these will be for results from different test samples.
Your test for Syphilis on [02/10] was normal.
"
That's more than I get "Your results from the tests on 17/09/2025 are all Negative/Normal. LiSH. NHS-NoReply" which is great for me, but doesn't say much to anyone else. |
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At least you test. That’s more than most men can send. We did have one yesterday find a scene shot on line and send. It was the second picture on Google search lol and it was American. People will try anything |
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"Hi all. So my hubby and I sti check once a month. I’ll do a test one month hubby does a test the next month.
Is it wrong to ask people when their last test was and for a screen shot of the results?
Most couples we find test regularly but single men have either never tested or say they play safe all the time and they are clean.
We have found they get arsey as we say about oral and it still spreads sti’s even if you use a condom for actual intercourse.
Does anyone else like results before they play (mainly from single guys) or am I being to picky and expecting too much from people?
Just wondered how other people felt about the whole sti and testing etc
Thanks x
"
You do do. We won’t play without covers for oral and also test as often and beyond the big 5 (Alpha Biolabs dna test which also tests for mycoplasmas). Some people find it a hard limit and decline play, others are fine. We’re okay with “missing out” as for me, I get waaaay to anxious with scares etc. so for me, I’d rather lose and feel comfortable. That said we’ve had waaaaaaaaaay less people decline than have accepted our way. . |
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By *eyeYCouple 30 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
Oh christ, this caused one hell of a shit show on our most recent party!
The ignorance over oral was staggering and we'd had a first hand experience of an STD only possible by that. 🤷🤦
We test alternately with the 3 month restriction as only play unprotected together, although honestly neither of us enjoy the taste of latex if you know what we mean x
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We insist on sti checks for bb. One guy turned up with a piece of cardboard with random numbers written on it, claiming its his account number on a postal sti check website. Asked him to log in and show us the account and results, said he couldn't remember his log in. There's the door.. off you fuck |
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It's fine to ask but results aren't all presented as clearly by all venues. Mine just states okay, without listing the specific tests, for example.
I imagine some who cheat, don't like text message results but I don't know how they deal with it.
Everyone should test but there's still a lot of ignorance about  It perhaps should be taught in schools better |
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"Nothing wrong with asking and you should do what makes you feel safest.
If other people do things differently that's up to them.
I always think a sti test is a good way of indicating they were clear at the date the test was done. It doesn't tell you about their status since that date though "
Exactly, STI tests are like vehicle MOTs in as much as they mean that everything was pucka at the time of testing. A lot can change between then and the time of the next test. |
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"Hi all. So my hubby and I sti check once a month. I’ll do a test one month hubby does a test the next month.
Is it wrong to ask people when their last test was and for a screen shot of the results?
Most couples we find test regularly but single men have either never tested or say they play safe all the time and they are clean.
We have found they get arsey as we say about oral and it still spreads sti’s even if you use a condom for actual intercourse.
Does anyone else like results before they play (mainly from single guys) or am I being to picky and expecting too much from people?
Just wondered how other people felt about the whole sti and testing etc
Thanks x
"
It's not wrong to test at all.
I'd certainly be happy if anyone asks me and I always post when I test on my profile too
I do not get a text or message with my results to show though sadly.
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"I've honestly never been tested but only ever had sex with 4 women, condom only, who have been tested at times after and have all been clean. I should get checked but I'm very inactive so no rush"
You could very easily be carrying something with no obvious symptoms such as Chlamydia.
It could be one person who passes it on so the number has no bearing in it at all.
Be responsible and test |
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I'd use those reactions to red flag those ppl. There's so many ppl on here esp for females that any excuse to eliminate I use.
Anyone reacting that way to someone's safety requests get a kick out. |
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Asking for a test is all well and good but I could get a test send it off play with somebody, catch something test comes back clean I show you the clean result, in an ideal world this would not happen but fab is filled with single men that will lie at every opportunity to get lucky, most of our messages are from “straight” men claiming to be bi but they won’t have it in a profile in case it puts people off them, |
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Nothing wrong at all with being cautious and asking for test results.
Those that get funny about it aren’t worth wasting time with as possibly something to hide or as the previous post mentions ‘fab straight’ men who often think they are immune or just don’t care if they catch anything or take it home sadly.
Testing is so easy and readily available there is no excuse not to these days
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"Hi all. So my hubby and I sti check once a month. I’ll do a test one month hubby does a test the next month.
Is it wrong to ask people when their last test was and for a screen shot of the results?
Most couples we find test regularly but single men have either never tested or say they play safe all the time and they are clean.
We have found they get arsey as we say about oral and it still spreads sti’s even if you use a condom for actual intercourse.
Does anyone else like results before they play (mainly from single guys) or am I being to picky and expecting too much from people?
Just wondered how other people felt about the whole sti and testing etc
Thanks x
"
Your meet, your rules, if people get funny about providing proof, then usually means they don't test or know they have a problem. The only thing I can think of is some kind of privacy issue, depending how you get tested and notified.
You have every right to ask, especially if you are planning any kind of bare play, oral or other kind. |
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Everyone has their own risk appetite.
You found yours. I see no issue here. If they do then they aren't the right person for you.
That goes from people who want a full body condom to those who have bareback gangbangs. Each has found their risk appetite. No judgement. |
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By *enelope2UWoman 30 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
I test and stay tested. I dont play with randoms whatsoever. At most they can finger me. I only play with regular partners and they test but I still test between interactions with them for my comfort.
Anyone having issues isn't worth the issue. |
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Single guy here and I think you are quite correct to ask.
I personally test every 3 months via the SHUK website. They send out a test kit and I also elect to go for the HEP test as well. So that's a second test kit.
It's easy and free so no excuse not to do it. The website also provides a link within your own sign-in area that you can share with others who can then verify your results.
I send the link to anyone who asks. Simples! |
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"I've honestly never been tested but only ever had sex with 4 women, condom only, who have been tested at times after and have all been clean. I should get checked but I'm very inactive so no rush"
But we only have your word for that. Get tested even if it's just for your own peace of mind.
For me, the worst part is getting blood. I absolutely can't do it myself so I have to go to a clinic where I sit in the waiting room with a bunch of 20somethings feeling like a proper grandad! |
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I do not see any issue with asking people OP.
If they want to meet and they cant be arsed to do this simple test then it can be a handy filter.
I saw someone mention the Zults app on a thread somewhere here.
I need to do a test and upload to that.
I think i tried the SH.Uk one before and for whatever reason i couldnt get on with it. Lets see if Zults is any better (or worse). |
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With this lifestyle it’s not strange at all to ask. Before I joined fab I rarely tested. Only when I was starting a new relationship with my ex at her request.
Now I test every 3 or 4 months even though I play safe. I can’t do blood so I book with clinic. They have said do home testing but always make an appointment for me when I explain. Next test is next week so will be updating my profile with the latest clear result 😊
Anyone that isn’t willing to test or gets offended when asked will be avoided… |
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By *d88Man 30 weeks ago
Salford |
Aye, think it’s entirely reasonable, as someone who enjoys playing bare, a lot of couples asks for tests and always happy to provide.
They are just a marker, so when you tested you was sound, but like others say it’s the inbetween that could catch you out, but regular testing will at least prevent you from being a mass spreader.
Also doxy and prep are great tools if you enjoy playing bare too. They certainly helped as never had a std in my life |
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"Nothing wrong with asking and you should do what makes you feel safest.
If other people do things differently that's up to them.
I always think a sti test is a good way of indicating they were clear at the date the test was done. It doesn't tell you about their status since that date though
Yes, a clear test result is a good sign but no guarantee of anything after the day it was taken.
Exactly, STI tests are like vehicle MOTs in as much as they mean that everything was pucka at the time of testing. A lot can change between then and the time of the next test. "
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"Oh christ, this caused one hell of a shit show on our most recent party!
The ignorance over oral was staggering and we'd had a first hand experience of an STD only possible by that. 🤷🤦
We test alternately with the 3 month restriction as only play unprotected together, although honestly neither of us enjoy the taste of latex if you know what we mean x
"
Exactly; I love sucking cocks and would love to taste and swallow cum but I always use flavoured condoms for oral sex and if people don’t like that, too bad, there will be another cock along in a day or two!
The same obviously goes for being fucked, which I love too, but even more so given the even greater risks, and although I long to be fucked without a condom that would also only happen in a tested and trusted relationship, which will almost certainly never happen, and is even less likely to happen on here.
I still get tested anyhow, for my own peace of mind more than to prove anything to anyone else. |
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I get tested regularly. If I have the opportunity to meet I am also happy to test just before meets to ensure clear for it.
I don’t understand those that get arsy. Sh24 send tests by post discretely. Results also discretely. Once you do it regularly it’s pretty easy and straightforward.
It’s so easy to get something and not know and potentially be spreading it.
Even in regular dating culture rather than swinging a lot of people test to ensure they are safe.
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By *orny PTMan 29 weeks ago
Peterborough |
Op: your body, your problem-your absolute right to ask.
Mine too!
It's like asking for a car's MOT, you want to know if you are safe. We shouldn't allow tabboo-ness or stigma to cloud asking this life or death question.
As for the timing, some of us live in postcodes where it's a case of booking SH:UK test kits after midnight to beat the queues. Added to the fact that some of us are difficult bleeders and it takes 5 or more stabs to get more than 3 drops of blood doesn't help. |
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I read you test then hubby tests the next month. We we're talking to our clinic about this. They advised against this, as males and females carry sti's differantly. And it's best to both test at same time. This way it can be picked up, and they can treat partners before showing symptoms. - is my understanding.
We both test every 3 months SH24, We then both attend the clinic for bloods to be done. We can keep upto date with all new developments. We've also been able to have hep, a & hep b jabs, as we're reg attenders. We've had the Hep, jabs for preventive rrasons.
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By *d88Man 29 weeks ago
Salford |
"I read you test then hubby tests the next month. We we're talking to our clinic about this. They advised against this, as males and females carry sti's differantly. And it's best to both test at same time. This way it can be picked up, and they can treat partners before showing symptoms. - is my understanding.
We both test every 3 months SH24, We then both attend the clinic for bloods to be done. We can keep upto date with all new developments. We've also been able to have hep, a & hep b jabs, as we're reg attenders. We've had the Hep, jabs for preventive rrasons.
"
Yes, one of you can have a std and not pass it too the other, spot on with that, it’s better for both to be tested at the same time. |
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"Hi all. So my hubby and I sti check once a month. I’ll do a test one month hubby does a test the next month.
Is it wrong to ask people when their last test was and for a screen shot of the results?
Most couples we find test regularly but single men have either never tested or say they play safe all the time and they are clean.
We have found they get arsey as we say about oral and it still spreads sti’s even if you use a condom for actual intercourse.
Does anyone else like results before they play (mainly from single guys) or am I being to picky and expecting too much from people?
Just wondered how other people felt about the whole sti and testing etc
Thanks x
"
from our experience we have found it to be the other way around and encountered plenty of couples who only play safe so have no reason to test. |
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By *d88Man 29 weeks ago
Salford |
"
from our experience we have found it to be the other way around and encountered plenty of couples who only play safe so have no reason to test."
This is the biggest myth of all that if you play safe you don’t have to test, most couples will do oral without protection, or even wank off others without protection. stds spread quickly and widely, no reason not to test nowadays. Especially in clubs, I’ve seen lads finger ladies successively throughout the night, you think they are washing their hands properly.
The only time you don’t need to test is if you only play with each other, and are clean, anything else, just get tested, even semi regularly. |
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It’s not too much to ask to expect someone to take their sexual health as seriously as you do. You can still catch things from unprotected oral as has been mentioned before. It’s free and easy to test in most areas too. |
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By (user no longer on site) 29 weeks ago
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I actually really value this to be honest it’s nice to see people playing safe and being cautious it’s a very good trait! Where do you get your testing done if you don’t mind me asking ? It’s more fun knowing there’s no risk and everyone is playing safe! D |
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"I wouldn’t know where to start getting tested . Never had any sti . And never want to !!"
Never had any obvious or visible symptoms maybe but you could still have an STI possibly.
Many can show no symptoms.
Go to your local sexual health clinic.
You can Google it.
It is discreet and private.
I |
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"Hi all. So my hubby and I sti check once a month. I’ll do a test one month hubby does a test the next month.
Is it wrong to ask people when their last test was and for a screen shot of the results?
Most couples we find test regularly but single men have either never tested or say they play safe all the time and they are clean.
We have found they get arsey as we say about oral and it still spreads sti’s even if you use a condom for actual intercourse.
Does anyone else like results before they play (mainly from single guys) or am I being to picky and expecting too much from people?
Just wondered how other people felt about the whole sti and testing etc
Thanks x
from our experience we have found it to be the other way around and encountered plenty of couples who only play safe so have no reason to test."
Provided they tell the truth and are completely and totally trustworthy.
Plenty of people list safe sex only but do not practice it.
Oral sex and mutual masturbation are not without risk and neither us kissing or even close body contact if you think about it.
Lots of men especially are bi but hide it and maybe visit saunas etc where they are not as careful as with their wives or partners.
Get testing. |
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"SH.UK provide a link that you can give to someone else.
Easy and better proof than a screenshot. "
Indeed, but link only stays active for a month.
I always screenshot my results, as well - belt-and-braces! |
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Nope we would be more attracted to you actually. We get tested regularly when meeting, would be happy to provide results, but havnt been tested for a couple of years as we have played with others for a while |
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"I'd have thought anyone would be put at ease with being asked....it shows you're vigilant too....nobody wants an STI "
Also catching Sti’s is actually a kink for some people, we have had messages asking 😂
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There really is no excuse not to do this.
In London, where I am, you can use shl.uk totally free.
The test comes in a plain box, with instructions, you then mail it back and the results come within 5 days.
If you then get the Zults app, you can link the results to that and you've got it instantly available on your phone or you can send it directly to someone.
OK, so you need to do it reasonably regularly to maximise safety (Zults actually reminds you when it 'expires' - so every three months), but it's certainly not a hardship to do or in anyway difficult to organise.
As we all know there is still alweays going to be some doubt, certainly if you are sexually active between the tests, but showing due dilgence goes a long way here for sure.
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"I'd have thought anyone would be put at ease with being asked....it shows you're vigilant too....nobody wants an STI "
there is a whole group of people that actively want to swap infections... we came across it on a profile and it shocked us.
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Not at all & I get tested regularly or if someone requests it - & I ask the same for them.
It’s massively important, regardless of the level of sexual contact. You can easily get test kits at home or visit a sexual health clinic so why complain or moan?
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"Not at all & I get tested regularly or if someone requests it - & I ask the same for them.
It’s massively important, regardless of the level of sexual contact. You can easily get test kits at home or visit a sexual health clinic so why complain or moan?
"
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"Hi all. So my hubby and I sti check once a month. I’ll do a test one month hubby does a test the next month.
Is it wrong to ask people when their last test was and for a screen shot of the results?
Most couples we find test regularly but single men have either never tested or say they play safe all the time and they are clean.
We have found they get arsey as we say about oral and it still spreads sti’s even if you use a condom for actual intercourse.
Does anyone else like results before they play (mainly from single guys) or am I being to picky and expecting too much from people?
Just wondered how other people felt about the whole sti and testing etc
Thanks x
"
I don't think you are being too picky and expecting too much, if people don't play by your rules forget them and find others who do
As stated on my profile I test every three months by visiting a sexual health clinic at my local hospital. They send me the results by text which I can then show to anyone interested in meeting and this has worked well for me |
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"Hi all. So my hubby and I sti check once a month. I’ll do a test one month hubby does a test the next month.
Is it wrong to ask people when their last test was and for a screen shot of the results?
Most couples we find test regularly but single men have either never tested or say they play safe all the time and they are clean.
We have found they get arsey as we say about oral and it still spreads sti’s even if you use a condom for actual intercourse.
Does anyone else like results before they play (mainly from single guys) or am I being to picky and expecting too much from people?
Just wondered how other people felt about the whole sti and testing etc
Thanks x
"
You are never being picky to set a standard. It should be an easy open topic for conversation with people who are part of open relationships in any sexual way, it's an instant red flag for me if someone is cagey about this or expects you to trust them without evidence, you are definitely not asking to much OP. |
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