FabSwingers.com > Forums > Wales > How hard isit for males to get meets!
How hard isit for males to get meets!
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By *oss247 OP Man 47 weeks ago
everywhere |
I know I'm not the only one and I know I'm not gods gift but I think alot of men would love to know where we are going wrong on here with out coming across as desperate lol. I know you females have standards ect. So do us men to a certain point lol. But how can us men get you women to have abit more trust in us men? I use the word trust strongly because I know how you ladies may feel very vulnerable in these new situations in meeting men. I thought the longer us men been on here and photo verified be some sort of help and maybe abit of insurance that we are genuine. Iv met a few on here and the meets were almost perfect no issues just fun as intended and planned on both parties! I do hold back sending face pictures simple fact of job and ex partner and i got two young kids. But I have sent photos and and many have been to new users (dull of me I know) soon as they seen then iv got blocked which made me think Fuck! Who was that? Am I bad looking? Or am I just not they type!. Crazy old thing this fab is. Sorry if I gone on abit! But surely most men can relate. Most women won't care maybe one or 2 might say your profile could do with updating or something. We see. Maybe no comments at all lol.. hope you all having fun anyways. Much love x |
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"I know I'm not the only one and I know I'm not gods gift but I think alot of men would love to know where we are going wrong on here with out coming across as desperate lol. I know you females have standards ect. So do us men to a certain point lol. But how can us men get you women to have abit more trust in us men? I use the word trust strongly because I know how you ladies may feel very vulnerable in these new situations in meeting men. I thought the longer us men been on here and photo verified be some sort of help and maybe abit of insurance that we are genuine. Iv met a few on here and the meets were almost perfect no issues just fun as intended and planned on both parties! I do hold back sending face pictures simple fact of job and ex partner and i got two young kids. But I have sent photos and and many have been to new users (dull of me I know) soon as they seen then iv got blocked which made me think Fuck! Who was that? Am I bad looking? Or am I just not they type!. Crazy old thing this fab is. Sorry if I gone on abit! But surely most men can relate. Most women won't care maybe one or 2 might say your profile could do with updating or something. We see. Maybe no comments at all lol.. hope you all having fun anyways. Much love x"
I’m a man and I get meets.
What works for me is reading profiles, sending polite and well thought out messages, not sending a dick pic unless specifically requested, being respectful of all parties involved and not expecting instant results.
You’re up against literally thousands of other men, so you have to stand out, which on here can really be as simply as being nice and conversational without being crude or brazen (until it’s appropriate) |
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By *ory_xWoman 47 weeks ago
42 Wallaby Way Syndey |
Your profile text isn't very appealing. You have 1 photograph only. This is just my opinion.
Get to organised socials for people to see your personality. I personally wont meet anyone (when I was meeting, not currently) that wont make the effort to go to an organised social. It shows you are into the swinging lifestyle and not treating Fabswingers as Instafuck. |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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Standing out is the key!
I always stipulate a social before anything, most go along with it then back out as as mama puts it this isn't instafuck!
If you don't put the effort in and expect a shag, then nothing is what you'll get.
Be polite, be original, say what you want from the start.?
Go to socials, be a gent with no expectations I'm sure you'll be swinging in no time  |
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By *oss247 OP Man 47 weeks ago
everywhere |
"Standing out is the key!
I always stipulate a social before anything, most go along with it then back out as as mama puts it this isn't instafuck!
If you don't put the effort in and expect a shag, then nothing is what you'll get.
Be polite, be original, say what you want from the start.?
Go to socials, be a gent with no expectations I'm sure you'll be swinging in no time "
Shame I can't put likes on people's comments! Ud all have a thumbs up ??. I'd love meets. Need someone to go with. Deffo on the bucket list though. I'm pretty polite I think I trys lol! Photos simplest of things but easiest to get you in trouble also, like mentioned kids ex partner! No issues sending pictures to the likes of the great people who have commented on here  |
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It’s always hard when you start out here. I nearly gave up many times , but then I started going to the socials and it all got better.
Go to a few, don’t be pushy and just enjoy the evenings meeting new people with no expectations . Nothing is guaranteed, make the effort and this is a good place to be. |
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By *oss247 OP Man 47 weeks ago
everywhere |
"It’s always hard when you start out here. I nearly gave up many times , but then I started going to the socials and it all got better.
Go to a few, don’t be pushy and just enjoy the evenings meeting new people with no expectations . Nothing is guaranteed, make the effort and this is a good place to be. "
Need to see if I can get one of my mates to plod along with me or find some1 on here who I can plod along with them too! Il have to sort something out soon |
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".
Need to see if I can get one of my mates to plod along with me or find some1 on here who I can plod along with them too! Il have to sort something out soon "
I've been to a few on my own over the years, they're daunting as a singleton but get chatting and you'll be fine |
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"I know I'm not the only one and I know I'm not gods gift but I think alot of men would love to know where we are going wrong on here with out coming across as desperate lol. I know you females have standards ect. So do us men to a certain point lol. But how can us men get you women to have abit more trust in us men? I use the word trust strongly because I know how you ladies may feel very vulnerable in these new situations in meeting men. I thought the longer us men been on here and photo verified be some sort of help and maybe abit of insurance that we are genuine. Iv met a few on here and the meets were almost perfect no issues just fun as intended and planned on both parties! I do hold back sending face pictures simple fact of job and ex partner and i got two young kids. But I have sent photos and and many have been to new users (dull of me I know) soon as they seen then iv got blocked which made me think Fuck! Who was that? Am I bad looking? Or am I just not they type!. Crazy old thing this fab is. Sorry if I gone on abit! But surely most men can relate. Most women won't care maybe one or 2 might say your profile could do with updating or something. We see. Maybe no comments at all lol.. hope you all having fun anyways. Much love x"
All good things come to those who wait
As stated before, attend social events, go to a club, and you won't look back.
Just one thing, make sure you try to talk to people. I know its daunting, but belive me when I say that once you know one person it snowballs to lots more |
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"I know I'm not the only one and I know I'm not gods gift but I think alot of men would love to know where we are going wrong on here with out coming across as desperate lol. I know you females have standards ect. So do us men to a certain point lol. But how can us men get you women to have abit more trust in us men? I use the word trust strongly because I know how you ladies may feel very vulnerable in these new situations in meeting men. I thought the longer us men been on here and photo verified be some sort of help and maybe abit of insurance that we are genuine. Iv met a few on here and the meets were almost perfect no issues just fun as intended and planned on both parties! I do hold back sending face pictures simple fact of job and ex partner and i got two young kids. But I have sent photos and and many have been to new users (dull of me I know) soon as they seen then iv got blocked which made me think Fuck! Who was that? Am I bad looking? Or am I just not they type!. Crazy old thing this fab is. Sorry if I gone on abit! But surely most men can relate. Most women won't care maybe one or 2 might say your profile could do with updating or something. We see. Maybe no comments at all lol.. hope you all having fun anyways. Much love x
All good things come to those who wait
As stated before, attend social events, go to a club, and you won't look back.
Just one thing, make sure you try to talk to people. I know its daunting, but belive me when I say that once you know one person it snowballs to lots more "
 snowballs  |
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"It’s always hard when you start out here. I nearly gave up many times , but then I started going to the socials and it all got better.
Go to a few, don’t be pushy and just enjoy the evenings meeting new people with no expectations . Nothing is guaranteed, make the effort and this is a good place to be.
Need to see if I can get one of my mates to plod along with me or find some1 on here who I can plod along with them too! Il have to sort something out soon "
If you wait for someone to hold your hand you'll never get there. Jump in & start saying hello to people X |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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A little eloquence and some manners go a long way. As others have mentioned, make sure you reas profiles to see if you would be compatible. And if you're rejected, don't take it personally and never lash out.
Source: A guy who has had many successful meets here on fab |
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I wouldn't be on here if I was single. I don't fancy my chances against some of you so I wouldn't embarrass myself and I'm not the type to inbox people. Done that years ago and had more rejection then hits and it can make you feel worthless and shitty |
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"I wouldn't be on here if I was single. I don't fancy my chances against some of you so I wouldn't embarrass myself and I'm not the type to inbox people. Done that years ago and had more rejection then hits and it can make you feel worthless and shitty "
True, it does make you feel worthless and rejection for some is so bad that they get abusive.
Endlessly messaging people here is pointless.
But why ? It's because it's not insta fuck, it's a lifestyle. The social part is more than sex, and unless you socialise you get nowhere.
I got called "sheep shit" the other day because I'm bloody everywhere  now that's not a negative, it means I get out and talk to people, have a laugh, and if anything happens it's a bonus |
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"But why ? It's because it's not insta fuck, it's a lifestyle. The social part is more than sex, and unless you socialise you get nowhere. "
This is a very important point, and something I can say I got wrong initially too. While it isn't true of everyone, the majority of people are really into the social side.
Let's flip the coin. Yes, men do have the issue of rejection and mass competition. I think what women have to go through is much worse though.
Women are getting hundreds of messages. Then having to figure out who they would like to spend time with, while simultaneously trying to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out if they are who they are and safe to meet. Then there is the abuse they get for rejection messages, and sometimes just for ignoring messages. It sucks, because the majority of people are here to have quality chats, make friends and more. |
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By *heLomsCouple 47 weeks ago
Newport |
Exactly this, some of the messages we get are ridiculous and when you say no thanks you’re met with attitude and horrid comments, the majority of the time they don’t read the profile or open with dick pics, when I want to see your dick I’ll ask, I’d rather see your face and chat first.
"But why ? It's because it's not insta fuck, it's a lifestyle. The social part is more than sex, and unless you socialise you get nowhere.
This is a very important point, and something I can say I got wrong initially too. While it isn't true of everyone, the majority of people are really into the social side.
Let's flip the coin. Yes, men do have the issue of rejection and mass competition. I think what women have to go through is much worse though.
Women are getting hundreds of messages. Then having to figure out who they would like to spend time with, while simultaneously trying to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out if they are who they are and safe to meet. Then there is the abuse they get for rejection messages, and sometimes just for ignoring messages. It sucks, because the majority of people are here to have quality chats, make friends and more."
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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One thing I've learnt very quickly from the original site I discovered this lifestyle on is conversation and knowing the person is key .. several meets I've had have and continue to be socials .. as men and women we are not guaranteed the privilege of having the carnal insight to each other .. if it develops to carnal and intimate all well and good.
A good attitude and the occasional cheeky quip helps .
I'm not the greatest at online interaction and unfortunately due to living in a small village and a well known person in the job I do I do keep my online footprint to a minimum
However when messaging or being a cheeky sod in the forum I do drop a face pic first and more than a hi how are you.
Drop a cheeky quip be yourself sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't |
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By *oss247 OP Man 47 weeks ago
everywhere |
Sounds about right! Same as me. Previous ex find outnim on ya and she will try stop me seeing my kids! They are pretty young also so it's really hard to be straight out like!!!! I will though if i know the person is genuine
"One thing I've learnt very quickly from the original site I discovered this lifestyle on is conversation and knowing the person is key .. several meets I've had have and continue to be socials .. as men and women we are not guaranteed the privilege of having the carnal insight to each other .. if it develops to carnal and intimate all well and good.
A good attitude and the occasional cheeky quip helps .
I'm not the greatest at online interaction and unfortunately due to living in a small village and a well known person in the job I do I do keep my online footprint to a minimum
However when messaging or being a cheeky sod in the forum I do drop a face pic first and more than a hi how are you.
Drop a cheeky quip be yourself sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't "
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"Standing out is the key!
I always stipulate a social before anything, most go along with it then back out as as mama puts it this isn't instafuck!
If you don't put the effort in and expect a shag, then nothing is what you'll get.
Be polite, be original, say what you want from the start.?
Go to socials, be a gent with no expectations I'm sure you'll be swinging in no time "
I'd like to go on socials as most the time physical attraction can be OK but a mental connection is always better, trouble is I'm quite shy, once I get talking I'm ok but it's starting I struggle with, I've tried group socials but think being a new face among a group that most know each other is hard and un nerving. |
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The biggest problem lately is the fact that Fab is mistaken for looking for a girlfriend site and people aren't familiar with the swingers scene which spoils the fun for the genuine swingers.
You invite a few men round and then they turn around and say if someone else is going I'm not. Can I have a one on one pls?
Just be yourself, no promises and exuses. If invited, always turn up.
Happy Fabbing! |
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"The biggest problem lately is the fact that Fab is mistaken for looking for a girlfriend site and people aren't familiar with the swingers scene which spoils the fun for the genuine swingers.
You invite a few men round and then they turn around and say if someone else is going I'm not. Can I have a one on one pls?
Just be yourself, no promises and exuses. If invited, always turn up.
Happy Fabbing!"
an invite would be nice, but then I don't measure up unfortunately. Lol |
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By *lintMan 46 weeks ago
Newport |
Think it depends what you're looking for and managing expectations. Had a look at your profile and you've had meets and good feedback.
I feel your frustration being in a very similar situation but try to tell myself a few things:
Fab rules I use:
1- not everyone you like will like you back. Just life
2- be clear about who you are and what you want if its one offs remember its a swinging site not a hookup site
3- until you've met and there's some attraction nothing is guaranteed so be a gent as much as possible and communicate
4- the experience for women and couples is very different from males. Everyone I've met has said the same thing so you need to stand out and not be offended when msg gets deleted or something.
5- if you want to get properly onto the lifestyle and scene you got to make time to get to clubs and socials.
Good luck and happy fabbing |
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By *coutDWoman 46 weeks ago
Pontypridd |
"I know I'm not the only one and I know I'm not gods gift but I think alot of men would love to know where we are going wrong on here with out coming across as desperate lol. I know you females have standards ect. So do us men to a certain point lol. But how can us men get you women to have abit more trust in us men? I use the word trust strongly because I know how you ladies may feel very vulnerable in these new situations in meeting men. I thought the longer us men been on here and photo verified be some sort of help and maybe abit of insurance that we are genuine. Iv met a few on here and the meets were almost perfect no issues just fun as intended and planned on both parties! I do hold back sending face pictures simple fact of job and ex partner and i got two young kids. But I have sent photos and and many have been to new users (dull of me I know) soon as they seen then iv got blocked which made me think Fuck! Who was that? Am I bad looking? Or am I just not they type!. Crazy old thing this fab is. Sorry if I gone on abit! But surely most men can relate. Most women won't care maybe one or 2 might say your profile could do with updating or something. We see. Maybe no comments at all lol.. hope you all having fun anyways. Much love x"
For me, I’d like to know a little more about you on your profile. Everywjere as a location is vague as. I get the ex thing and kids mine would be too.
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By *lintMan 42 weeks ago
Newport |
To put some context on this, why single guys can't get meets is probably the ratio of men.
I did a nearby search furthest profile from me was 6 miles. Nearby matching just females 60 miles.
I reckon I also get 20-30 views a day from single guys and at least 2 messages.
A friend on here put up a nice pic and got 1500 messages in a day most of which were single men. |
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Lots of good advice on here about reading profiles and sending a decent message rather than the usual one line nonsense.
I do disagree with the standard response of 'get yourself to socials though'. We have never been to any social event because the forums make it clear that the socials are predominantly attended by the same group of people each time.
There's nothing wrong with that if thats what you enjoy and I'm sure lots of people use it as a way of seeing friends they have made on here. It just wouldn't match what we want from this at all and will be the same for lots of guys, ladies and couples on here.
The point is, we meet single guys and all of them stat with a well written message, decent profile for us to read and respectful but fun follow up messages. Not social events. |
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