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My bar's opening
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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It's coming up to 10am on a dull Tuesday morning, and I've decided to open the doors to my welcoming bar earlier than normal. What drink can I get you? I've got everything from council pop to a tasty 2016 Chateau Lafite Rothschild Premier Cru Classe. Fancy some nuts, crisps or a pickled egg? No problem. |
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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"Can I have a latte please? Alcohol doesn't agree with me and not a massive fan of fizzy drinks.
Oh and a packet of Cheese and Onion crisps "
Of course, I'll get the barrista to put a Halloween design in the frothy milk. Crisps incoming... catch. |
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By *arrapsMan 28 weeks ago
port talbot |
"Vodka martini with two olives please and some cashew nuts to nibble on 😉
Coming right up sir. Pull up a bar stool and I'll have your order with you in a jiffy. 🍸🥜"
Good man, can we have some Bob seger on the jukebox ? |
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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"Vodka martini with two olives please and some cashew nuts to nibble on 😉
Coming right up sir. Pull up a bar stool and I'll have your order with you in a jiffy. 🍸🥜
Good man, can we have some Bob seger on the jukebox ?"
No problem. I only have Against The Wind on my playlist, and it's going on for you next |
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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"Yummy that sounds good to me. Maybe otherside? Although you might have yo listen to me sing along "
Oooh, an old classic. It's on next. Feel free to sing along, I know not everyone on here has the singing voice of an angel 🤣. |
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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"Can I have pear cordial, and can it be a reasonable strength, you go to Wetherspoons and they give you slightly pink water"
Sure thing, strong pear squash coming up. What is this Weatherspoons you speak of?! This is a posh bar ya know 🧐 |
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"Can I have pear cordial, and can it be a reasonable strength, you go to Wetherspoons and they give you slightly pink water
Sure thing, strong pear squash coming up. What is this Weatherspoons you speak of?! This is a posh bar ya know 🧐"
Oh lord, I doubt I'm welcome here |
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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"Can I have pear cordial, and can it be a reasonable strength, you go to Wetherspoons and they give you slightly pink water
Sure thing, strong pear squash coming up. What is this Weatherspoons you speak of?! This is a posh bar ya know 🧐
Oh lord, I doubt I'm welcome here"
Everyone's welcome 🇺🇳 |
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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The bar's opening at 08:30 today. Merry Wednesday everybody. I'm starting the day off with a creamy Pina Colada, and a bag of dry roasted nuts. Got some Kings Of Leon playing at the moment. Grab a table, put in your order and enjoy the day 🌧️ |
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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"Alcohol free strawberry daiquiri please, is the kitchen open for lunch?"
Coming up, a mocktail with all the trimmings. Yep, kitchen's open but I can only make beans on toast or lobster thermidor with seasonal veg. |
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"Alcohol free strawberry daiquiri please, is the kitchen open for lunch?
Coming up, a mocktail with all the trimmings. Yep, kitchen's open but I can only make beans on toast or lobster thermidor with seasonal veg. "
Do your beans contain mini pork sausages? |
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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"Alcohol free strawberry daiquiri please, is the kitchen open for lunch?
Coming up, a mocktail with all the trimmings. Yep, kitchen's open but I can only make beans on toast or lobster thermidor with seasonal veg.
Do your beans contain mini pork
sausages?"
Unfortunately, (or fortunately) they don't. |
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Ok. Morphs kitchen is open.
Menu:
Sandwiches: Cheese / smoked ham / fish fingers / falafel and houmous / chicken, bacon and avocado / rare beef and mustard (Add your own pickles / chutneys) Served with chips and coleslaw.
Meat or veg thali.
Meat or veg chilli with rice / chips / nachos.
Mac and cheese (add bacon or
pulled pork)
Meat or vegi sliders platter.
Steak of the day with all the trimmings
Pie of the day with mash and veg with onion gravy.
Omelette with chips and coleslaw.
Also unlimited toast and spreads. Do it yourself.
Anything else, just ask and if it's in the fridge you can have it. |
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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"The only pies with cream are the sweet ones.
Cherry and almond / tart au citron / spiced apple / pear and chocolate."
You're in charge, I'm off out to see a woman about a cat. Don't forget, some folk are banned and there's karaoke 8-9. 🎤 |
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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Bar's shut until Monday afternoon...I've got actual work to go to. (Slams the shutters down and turns out the light). Quiet leaving please, those who are still lurking around, the neighbours are complaining about the noise. Cheers 🍻 |
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Another double bacardi, this time with seeing as last time I ordered I forgot the mixer (typo in previous visit). She'll have another Baileys coffee but that's her last because she is sensitive to caffeine and alcohol and next thing the chandelier is off the ceiling and her legs are open wider than most of the patrons' mouths in a free bar scenario  .
Oh, and Harriet, if you are smart you can get a few in whilst no-one is watching  . |
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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"Another double bacardi, this time with seeing as last time I ordered I forgot the mixer (typo in previous visit). She'll have another Baileys coffee but that's her last because she is sensitive to caffeine and alcohol and next thing the chandelier is off the ceiling and her legs are open wider than most of the patrons' mouths in a free bar scenario .
Oh, and Harriet, if you are smart you can get a few in whilst no-one is watching . "
😂 Love it, help yourselves. Harry's ban was lifted last night, if you're going to dance on the tables, be careful please. 😁 |
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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Result! Now I'll dance on the tables while bah humbug is at work!
I'll take the bottle of red thanks.
Couldn't stay last night was seeing a man about a dog  |
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Seems like ordering a mixer that's very similar to Pepsi but isn't Pepsi gets censored in this pub  .
Have a word mate, the security seems to be a bit strict.
Didn't think I'd had enough bacardi last night to cause a typo, turns out I hadn't.
*Busy bolting the tables to the floor for the dancers*
Harriet, you're up, you just said a bottle of red so catch, here's a lovely 1869 Chateau Latife Rothschild that I found hidden in the corner here. Don't drop it, that stuff is £48k a glass .
Anyone else willing to rob the landlord dry? |
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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"Seems like ordering a mixer that's very similar to Pepsi but isn't Pepsi gets censored in this pub .
Have a word mate, the security seems to be a bit strict.
Didn't think I'd had enough bacardi last night to cause a typo, turns out I hadn't.
*Busy bolting the tables to the floor for the dancers*
Harriet, you're up, you just said a bottle of red so catch, here's a lovely 1869 Chateau Latife Rothschild that I found hidden in the corner here. Don't drop it, that stuff is £48k a glass .
Anyone else willing to rob the landlord dry? "
Thankyou kind sir!
I won't drop a single bit at that price, but hey ho thanks landlord..
Gets my best pole dancing kit on and let's get the party started..
Pink gin, now that sounds interesting along with a game of pool |
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"The bar's open. No staff, unless the chef is in. It's a free for all, help yourself. No bans, no rules. Catch you soon. "
I am in the kitchen sorting the freezer. There is bread, cheeseboard and selection of cold meats on the bar, and I've just made a batch of carrot and coriander soup. Help yourselves. |
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By (user no longer on site) 28 weeks ago
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"The bar's open. No staff, unless the chef is in. It's a free for all, help yourself. No bans, no rules. Catch you soon.
I am in the kitchen sorting the freezer. There is bread, cheeseboard and selection of cold meats on the bar, and I've just made a batch of carrot and coriander soup. Help yourselves."
Yummy 😋 |
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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"Result! Now I'll dance on the tables while bah humbug is at work!
I'll take the bottle of red thanks.
Couldn't stay last night was seeing a man about a dog "
Well I hope the dog was nicer than my cat. |
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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"The bar's open. No staff, unless the chef is in. It's a free for all, help yourself. No bans, no rules. Catch you soon.
I am in the kitchen sorting the freezer. There is bread, cheeseboard and selection of cold meats on the bar, and I've just made a batch of carrot and coriander soup. Help yourselves."
You're doing a cracking job, fair doos. A raise is in order 😂 |
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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A thorough check inside to make sure everyone's out, the bar's closed for good unfortunately.... rats, lots of them. The doors are chained shut, and I've lobbed a few petrol bómbs through the windows. It's been a pleasure. Thanks for your custom 😘. |
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By *uckMe12Free OP Man 28 weeks ago
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"It's almost mid day. Is the bar open? I need a halloween cocktail x"
Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances... the bar has been burnt to ashes. Someone else can resurrect the thread, but I'm no longer the landlord of the pile of dust 😂 |
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