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Being rejected for an event
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By *uicyjm OP Couple 17 weeks ago
wales |
We recently showed interest in attending a private club night, the organiser asks for recent face photos, we sent them, they still haven't viewed the photos but said 'you're not our cup of tea' based on our profile which is fine, I get it. But surely if there's let's say 50 couples attending I'm sure everyone has different 'cups of tea' so it seems more like a personal party for the organisers than a welcoming event. The write up says they are wanting to create the right vibe. Im Not offended just find it a bit strange. |
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Its probably a club event that you would be better off not attending.
If it was a private party, then I'd understand the host has the say of who they want there, but a club event is something completely different.
Don't let it get you down as people like that deserve to fail at every opportunity and I'd definitely distance myself from them.
You know yourselves that 99% of club events welcome people with open arms. |
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That doesn’t sound right if they’ve gone from your photos. Are you sure it wasn’t that your profile preferences were differing from that of the event night? Don’t be disheartened though, there are plenty of other clubs, organised parties and socials that you will be suitable for… |
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By *3xymamaWoman 17 weeks ago
...., Wales |
There is a club event that I heard the organisers vetted people on their photos and age. I personally didn't ask to attend but a friend of mine was declined an invite as she was told she didn't "suit their vibe"
So please don't be too disheartened, as others have said there are clubs and events who don't judge in that way |
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"Its probably a club event that you would be better off not attending.
If it was a private party, then I'd understand the host has the say of who they want there, but a club event is something completely different.
Don't let it get you down as people like that deserve to fail at every opportunity and I'd definitely distance myself from them.
You know yourselves that 99% of club events welcome people with open arms."
it is an event night in a club run by people on the site, so they get to choose who goes, don't worry we didn't fit the bill either 🤣🤣 as we say "it is what it is" |
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"We recently showed interest in attending a private club night, the organiser asks for recent face photos, we sent them, they still haven't viewed the photos but said 'you're not our cup of tea' based on our profile which is fine, I get it. But surely if there's let's say 50 couples attending I'm sure everyone has different 'cups of tea' so it seems more like a personal party for the organisers than a welcoming event. The write up says they are wanting to create the right vibe. Im Not offended just find it a bit strange."
It's a regular basis for me meh I move on |
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"All the socials and parties are just little clicks off people I’ve been saying it for ages fab is no longer fab "
What was fab before?
Surely there were still people who had parties with their friends, they just weren't advertised online 🤷🏻♀️ |
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"All the socials and parties are just little clicks off people I’ve been saying it for ages fab is no longer fab "
There's no such thing as a click of people
Anyone who takes the time and effort to arrange any sort of event are absolutely within their rights to choose who they do and don't want there
There's no automatic entitlement to be able to attend events that other people have made the effort to organise etc
I can only suggest that if a person/couple feel they aren't being welcomed at events arranged by others (which is totally fine, noone has to justify it either) then perhaps they could look at arranging a meet themselves then they would be guaranteed attendance and also be able to select who they invite   |
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I never got accepted to events! No matter who it was or where it was…. Computer says no!
So I thought fuck it…… I’ll do my own then! Even I can’t reject myself!
Now as a host, you have to be a little bit selective! You look at profiles, verifications, people you have met, mutual friends! If you invited every faceless profile you could never guarantee your attendees, and when it’s your home, you don’t need any further stress to what is already a stressful experience!
So get yourself out there, make some contacts and maybe you’ll soon be on those guest lists if your the kind of guy that people want to associate with
Good luck! |
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"All the socials and parties are just little clicks off people I’ve been saying it for ages fab is no longer fab "
you are 100% right I've been on this site over 25 years it's beggars belief some of the things I hear and read clicky is an understatement
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"I never got accepted to events! No matter who it was or where it was…. Computer says no!
"
Well that's not entirely true is it now?
There's being invited to events and then expecting to get play at those events. |
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By (user no longer on site) 17 weeks ago
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"All the socials and parties are just little clicks off people I’ve been saying it for ages fab is no longer fab "
There have always been cliques, although it's not to be mentioned  |
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"I never got accepted to events! No matter who it was or where it was…. Computer says no!
Well that's not entirely true is it now?
There's being invited to events and then expecting to get play at those events. "
It Is 100% True. Until I started doing my own I didn’t have ANY party invites. Was never accepted. Until you put yourself out there, you are just another one of thousands! Now that I’ve met people I do get accepted! It’s the way it works and so anyone expecting invites but not getting any, look at yourself and what you are doing to validate those invites!
And I’ve no idea what the expectation to play is about? If that’s in reference to me then I’d very much like some clarification there! I don’t think anyone ‘expects’ to play at any event! |
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" and I’ve no idea what the expectation to play is about? If that’s in reference to me then I’d very much like some clarification there! I don’t think anyone ‘expects’ to play at any event! "
100% hilarious. So hosts that 'personally vet' people for parties with the expectation that for an invite they will need to sleep with the host doesn't count? And then having a tantrum if that doesn't happen? Yeah I would say that completely counts as an 'expectation' to play.
Parties, private or public, should be no pressure areas unless they are purely advertised as play parties. If the screening process is that parties are arranged for the host to get laid, just be honest about it. |
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I have seen certain events where the hosts have claimed to be ‘inclusive’ when it comes to accepting single men in particular, however, despite the rules they set, you see single men attending who you know full well didn’t follow the rules but are there specifically because the hosts have hand picked them because they want to play with them on that night |
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"I have seen certain events where the hosts have claimed to be ‘inclusive’ when it comes to accepting single men in particular, however, despite the rules they set, you see single men attending who you know full well didn’t follow the rules but are there specifically because the hosts have hand picked them because they want to play with them on that night"
lol what utter nonsense. I’ve been made fully aware that this is your opinion and is aimed at the bbw event.
Not that it’s anyone’s business but the hosts of this particular event hardly ever play at the events. They are too busy meeting/ greeting and ensuring everyone else has a great time.
Laughable irony coming from someone who’s a lifetime ban from the club too |
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"What “ inclusive events “ are you referring to please? Past or present?
"
Sorry, my spelling today is atrocious! Just posted this twice and clearly my fingers aren’t up to the job this morning!
Not any that you have been a part of organising. I agree with most on here that the HoED parties are undoubtedly the best I’ve been to. Friendly, welcoming, relaxed, no pressure from any other members and best of all, no drama |
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"I only asked because I used “inclusive” in my original post on here that has somehow disappeared mmm 
That’s nice feedback and I am glad you enjoy the parties. We try. "
Ohhh. No idea, the only thing I can think of is maybe someone reported it perhaps? There’s a few people on Fab I’ve found who don’t like it if you have a different opinion to the crowd. Or are just different from the crowd in general 😉 hopefully I can join you again soon, life is just getting in the way a bit at the moment! |
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By (user no longer on site) 17 weeks ago
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"I only asked because I used “inclusive” in my original post on here that has somehow disappeared mmm
That’s nice feedback and I am glad you enjoy the parties. We try.
Ohhh. No idea, the only thing I can think of is maybe someone reported it perhaps? There’s a few people on Fab I’ve found who don’t like it if you have a different opinion to the crowd. Or are just different from the crowd in general 😉 hopefully I can join you again soon, life is just getting in the way a bit at the moment!"
One of the few things about Fab that never changes X |
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Yea people had parties of course. If you look at most peoples updates it’s all about the socials and even the verifications they actually verify each other every week… years ago fab was amazing fun |
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Agree or disagree fab is full of clicks in my opinion.because I’ve been to one house party and all they did was sit around talking about other people and other socials…Yea people have the right to say no off course. I know of about 8/9 couples that have left the site because off the way it’s gone. So much so if all the social people should set up a WhatsApp group fab would be a better platform |
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"I have seen certain events where the hosts have claimed to be ‘inclusive’ when it comes to accepting single men in particular, however, despite the rules they set, you see single men attending who you know full well didn’t follow the rules but are there specifically because the hosts have hand picked them because they want to play with them on that night"
Wow the ego on some people… we often pop into Wales to join in on the parties there, because there is so much more going on and me and my partner find 99.9% of the people are more friendly and welcoming.
We also attend events this side of the bridge and can say we have experienced the “face don’t fit” attitude. The thing is… it what it is & we move on and find better events that actually want to accept us for who we are and not judge on what we look like. Those events just don’t deserve our company, in my opinion.
I can safely say the events we attend are run with enjoyment for all in mind, along with safety.
Getting to know the hosts of the events that we attend and knowing all the people we know on the scene, we have come to learn which events only want people who fit their demographic.
With this thread, what you are doing is feathering their caps and allowing them to know it bothers you more than it does them.
We attend some very inclusive events where some single males have requested to be added to the guest list but then; either just don’t show up or pull out last second. Also, it’s happened where guys have been giving a profile name on the door, that’s not theirs, just to get in. This is why now some hosts have decided rules need to be put in place; in hopes to allow genuine people to attend.
I personally have never known any of the hosts, that I talk to, to specifically allow parties in that they want hands on with; most of the hosts are far to busy to play any how as they tend to do the tours for newbies and welcome the regulars to their event. |
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As event hosts ourselves this really angers us!
Parties that vet their guest on how attractive they personally find them is exactly what this scene isn't about! This lifestyle is meant to non judgemental and inclusive. We'd never turn someone away for how they look.
Any event that does that is best avoided. |
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There was a response in this thread suggesting that the people who are invited to this event are vain and devoid of character, event hosts themselves in fact .. is that not judging someone entirely by the way they look also ?
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By *bwBratWoman 17 weeks ago
Carmarthenshire |
Heyy 👋🏽
What a thread!
Gonna take this opportunity to say I'm co-hosting an event at Dare2 in Bristol , normally in Cardiff area , if anyone wanted to stretch their legs across the bridge
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/wales/1766880
As a co-host , we obviously have to vet profiles to keep guests safe. I think most host will do this.
If a host judges you on your looks, would you actually want to then go to that event ? Would it be a comfortable atmosphere ? Probably not. So don't fret. I've also been rejected from a party because of my looks.
I can say the events I do attend and are great are Tlc, Midnight Experience, Twisted, Filth , BBW in Newport and Darlo, obviously my own Curvylicious, and Dark Velvet. Those are the main ones I attend. Heard Hoed is great and also Bristol Paries but not attended yet.
As for the BBW event hosts hand picking to play, I personally havent see it happen, and quite the opposite , they're just too busy.
Most/some hosts don't play at their parties/events because the party takes your attention / busy doing a other things 
Just wanted to put my 10p in and cheekily promote my own event LOL happy fabbing all x x x |
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I know this post wasn't originally aimed at the bbw events, but after reading comments i'd just like to say...
If you dont already know. The bbw events at chams are amongst the most popular nights at the club. The hosts are warm and friendly and a great laugh, going out of their way to ensure its a good night for everyone attending. Even helping out the staff behind the bar area. Due to the popularity of the events though, the first come first served guest list fills super fast. Some of those spaces get claimed by people notorious for no shows, wasting time or bad club etiquette. Theres only so many single male spaces. So in an attempt to limit this and make it a better, safer night for everyone attending, they started vetting single males that attend the club for the event. Totally understandable to be honest 🤷 |
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"As event hosts ourselves this really angers us!
Parties that vet their guest on how attractive they personally find them is exactly what this scene isn't about! This lifestyle is meant to non judgemental and inclusive. We'd never turn someone away for how they look.
Any event that does that is best avoided."
Why though? What is so wrong with people being selective based on looks? Especially if they are hosting an event, surely there's room for all sorts of events with differing criteria for attendance? I just get the impression on here that anyone who is open and honest about prioritising looks ends up getting vilified. I don't get it |
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Try not to take it personally..... if its their event its purely down to what they want
You wouldn't flood a bbc event with white guys with small dicks or a bbw event with size zero people lol x
Happy fabbing x |
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"We recently showed interest in attending a private club night, the organiser asks for recent face photos, we sent them, they still haven't viewed the photos but said 'you're not our cup of tea' based on our profile which is fine, I get it. But surely if there's let's say 50 couples attending I'm sure everyone has different 'cups of tea' so it seems more like a personal party for the organisers than a welcoming event. The write up says they are wanting to create the right vibe. Im Not offended just find it a bit strange."
Is it mandatory to play with the organisers at that event then? What does it matter if you aren't their cup of tea as you were asking to attend event, not play with them |
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"As event hosts ourselves this really angers us!
Parties that vet their guest on how attractive they personally find them is exactly what this scene isn't about! This lifestyle is meant to non judgemental and inclusive. We'd never turn someone away for how they look.
Any event that does that is best avoided.
Why though? What is so wrong with people being selective based on looks? Especially if they are hosting an event, surely there's room for all sorts of events with differing criteria for attendance? I just get the impression on here that anyone who is open and honest about prioritising looks ends up getting vilified. I don't get it"
People having a preference is normal, but if they're hosting an event that's open to the community to join and then only allowing those to attend that they themselves deem attractive is in our opinion not the right way to do it. Just because they don't find them attractive doesn't mean everyone else won't. It's a small minded way to go about things and it's just plain arrogant. Thankfully it's fairly uncommon on the party scene.
For example we have many reasons why we turn people away and l99ks isn't one of them. Vanity isn't everything. |
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"As event hosts ourselves this really angers us!
Parties that vet their guest on how attractive they personally find them is exactly what this scene isn't about! This lifestyle is meant to non judgemental and inclusive. We'd never turn someone away for how they look.
Any event that does that is best avoided.
Why though? What is so wrong with people being selective based on looks? Especially if they are hosting an event, surely there's room for all sorts of events with differing criteria for attendance? I just get the impression on here that anyone who is open and honest about prioritising looks ends up getting vilified. I don't get it
People having a preference is normal, but if they're hosting an event that's open to the community to join and then only allowing those to attend that they themselves deem attractive is in our opinion not the right way to do it. Just because they don't find them attractive doesn't mean everyone else won't. It's a small minded way to go about things and it's just plain arrogant. Thankfully it's fairly uncommon on the party scene.
For example we have many reasons why we turn people away and l99ks isn't one of them. Vanity isn't everything."
Exactly, it would be extremely selfish to think that your opinion on who is and isn't attractive is the only correct opinion. It's giving 'everyone is stupid except for me' |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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We were not responded to for same social event in east wales twice in a row best is to ignore the ignorance and self centered arrogance and enjoyment you can control. Some ego maniacs on here some good people just difficult to separate for the unknowing |
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By *ed FlameWoman 14 weeks ago
South Gloucestershire |
Honestly I much prefer private meets.
Not that I have been to many events or parties at all but that is mainly because I find them off putting for different reasons.
There are certainly clicks, no doubt about it which is ashame if you are new & nervous.
I am still trying to find an a event that suits me but I may just stick to private meeting.
Xx |
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