I completely understand why people want to make these platforms safer, and I think that's a goal we should all support. However, I don't believe it's fair or effective to blame, penalise, or shut down an entire platform because of the actions of a minority of individuals. The responsibility for abuse, coercion, or criminal behaviour lies with the people who commit those acts, not with the existence of the platform itself.
That doesn't mean platforms shouldn't do more. In fact, I think they should continue to strengthen safeguarding measures. Mandatory ID verification, payment verification, and stronger security checks would help create greater accountability and make it much harder for people to hide behind fake identities.
For couples' profiles, I think there could be an even better system. Rather than simply uploading a photo holding a piece of paper with a username, each person could be required to record a short video confirming their identity and stating that they are joining the platform voluntarily and consent to having the profile. It wouldn't prevent every situation, but it would be another meaningful step towards protecting users.
It's also important to remember that coercive or controlling relationships are real, and leaving them isn't always simple. That's why it's so important that people know support is available. There are charities, helplines, and the police for anyone experiencing abuse or coercion. No one should ever feel trapped or believe they have nowhere to turn.
At the same time, shutting down one platform doesn't remove the problem. Another website will almost certainly appear in its place. If we believe sites such as Fab or FetLife should be closed because some people misuse them, then where does that line end? Do we also close Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Grindr, Hinge, or every other dating app where bad actors exist? What about Facebook or Instagram, where people have also been victims of scams, grooming, harassment, and other crimes?
The issue isn't the platform itself—it's the behaviour of those who choose to misuse it. Our efforts should be focused on stronger safeguarding, better verification, educating users, supporting victims, and ensuring that those who break the law are identified and held accountable.
That's a solution that protects people without taking away platforms that millions of responsible adults use safely and consensually. |
