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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just been informed that in the next 18 months the csa will be taken over.
As I use them I will receive a letter 6months before hand to ask if I still want to use this service or if I can come to some agreement with my ex about maintenance.which is laughable as he walked out 3 years ago and I've found him on a Internet site 400+ miles away.
If I want to continue using them which I have to I will be charged a one off payment of £20.00 to pay for admin fees.
He will have to pay a 20% fee of every payment the csa receive off him.so say for instance he pays £30.00 a week that will be taken up to £36.00 and the csa will keep £6.00 of that and give me £30.00.
What's your thoughts??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had the letter too... also stating I was owed 14,000 but they can't locate him
I've given them his works address 3 times ..fking useless system
this new system sounds just as shit as every other lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just been informed that in the next 18 months the csa will be taken over.
As I use them I will receive a letter 6months before hand to ask if I still want to use this service or if I can come to some agreement with my ex about maintenance.which is laughable as he walked out 3 years ago and I've found him on a Internet site 400+ miles away.
If I want to continue using them which I have to I will be charged a one off payment of £20.00 to pay for admin fees.
He will have to pay a 20% fee of every payment the csa receive off him.so say for instance he pays £30.00 a week that will be taken up to £36.00 and the csa will keep £6.00 of that and give me £30.00.
What's your thoughts?? "
This is a different system I'm on it these people are better to deal with than the CSA however of the £30 per week they give you 4% will go to them they take a few both sides unless your ex pays direct into your bank |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I understand the claimant will have to pay 8% from what they currently receive and person paying pays 20% on top of current payment schedule trying to encourage ex's to make private arragements. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Am I right in thinking this depends on when your claim was made to the csa ? I didnt make the claim my ex did and he ended up paying me more than I asked for. Karma |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I right in thinking this depends on when your claim was made to the csa ? I didnt make the claim my ex did and he ended up paying me more than I asked for. Karma "
Everyone is going to new system I have all info as I'm now paying into it with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yup had this letter too. Slight joke considering my ex has always wangled pay slips for his zero hours contract to look like he works part time. He only pays £48 a fortnight. So each time I'll lose £4 with new system. The reason we're with csa is he decided to stop paying maintenance privately and then got lower hour payslips to go to csa with. Took over a year to catch up with payments. I obviously can't trust him to make payments now. Oh and another joke because he had a baby with his partner (gaining over £600 a month in benefits) they then subtracted money from my little ones maintenence £3 a week.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had the letter too... also stating I was owed 14,000 but they can't locate him
I've given them his works address 3 times ..fking useless system
this new system sounds just as shit as every other lol"
Well you need to check that as the will put a live search on his national insurance number and if he is working then then can trace from that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yup had this letter too. Slight joke considering my ex has always wangled pay slips for his zero hours contract to look like he works part time. He only pays £48 a fortnight. So each time I'll lose £4 with new system. The reason we're with csa is he decided to stop paying maintenance privately and then got lower hour payslips to go to csa with. Took over a year to catch up with payments. I obviously can't trust him to make payments now. Oh and another joke because he had a baby with his partner (gaining over £600 a month in benefits) they then subtracted money from my little ones maintenence £3 a week.
"
They will do the working out they done mine from the tax records not pay slips but he will be given a choice of the pay them then they pay you or he pays you direct I'm which case you can go to them if he fails a payment they get on his back these are different from CSA they were useless always messed up my money they took 4 payments on one day and said they didn't have my bank details even after providing them with bank statements, and they took me to court needless to say they lost |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yup had this letter too. Slight joke considering my ex has always wangled pay slips for his zero hours contract to look like he works part time. He only pays £48 a fortnight. So each time I'll lose £4 with new system. The reason we're with csa is he decided to stop paying maintenance privately and then got lower hour payslips to go to csa with. Took over a year to catch up with payments. I obviously can't trust him to make payments now. Oh and another joke because he had a baby with his partner (gaining over £600 a month in benefits) they then subtracted money from my little ones maintenence £3 a week.
They will do the working out they done mine from the tax records not pay slips but he will be given a choice of the pay them then they pay you or he pays you direct I'm which case you can go to them if he fails a payment they get on his back these are different from CSA they were useless always messed up my money they took 4 payments on one day and said they didn't have my bank details even after providing them with bank statements, and they took me to court needless to say they lost "
Oh I forgot they've already had to get an attachment of earnings to his wages. So it doesn't make sense in long run for me to not use new agency. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just been informed that in the next 18 months the csa will be taken over.
As I use them I will receive a letter 6months before hand to ask if I still want to use this service or if I can come to some agreement with my ex about maintenance.which is laughable as he walked out 3 years ago and I've found him on a Internet site 400+ miles away.
If I want to continue using them which I have to I will be charged a one off payment of £20.00 to pay for admin fees.
He will have to pay a 20% fee of every payment the csa receive off him.so say for instance he pays £30.00 a week that will be taken up to £36.00 and the csa will keep £6.00 of that and give me £30.00.
What's your thoughts?? "
well never used them as I always worked and my parents helped with my children, but I dont see why the Government should keep any money for themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just been informed that in the next 18 months the csa will be taken over.
As I use them I will receive a letter 6months before hand to ask if I still want to use this service or if I can come to some agreement with my ex about maintenance.which is laughable as he walked out 3 years ago and I've found him on a Internet site 400+ miles away.
If I want to continue using them which I have to I will be charged a one off payment of £20.00 to pay for admin fees.
He will have to pay a 20% fee of every payment the csa receive off him.so say for instance he pays £30.00 a week that will be taken up to £36.00 and the csa will keep £6.00 of that and give me £30.00.
What's your thoughts??
well never used them as I always worked and my parents helped with my children, but I dont see why the Government should keep any money for themselves."
It's not about working or family helping out.
It's about absent fathers paying for there children |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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oh i agree absent fathers should pay for their children. I obviously misread. I have no use for the CSA or The New Agency anyway they only help when the parent in charge of the children is on benefits, they dont bother when a single parent is on a low paying job they wont chase the absent husbands then, thats why i have no use for the CSA. We have quite a few single parents strugging and working but CSA cant be arsed to chase the absent parent up for them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"oh i agree absent fathers should pay for their children. I obviously misread. I have no use for the CSA or The New Agency anyway they only help when the parent in charge of the children is on benefits, they dont bother when a single parent is on a low paying job they wont chase the absent husbands then, thats why i have no use for the CSA. We have quite a few single parents strugging and working but CSA cant be arsed to chase the absent parent up for them. "
They don't only help when the parent is on benefits at all.
Think you need to stop having a dig at people on benefits.
Yep im on benefits but do you know why I am????????
And when I worked they still treated everyone the same....
And as for they can't be arsed to help people who work then if 5.00 a week is aceptable for us none works so be it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"oh i agree absent fathers should pay for their children. I obviously misread. I have no use for the CSA or The New Agency anyway they only help when the parent in charge of the children is on benefits, they dont bother when a single parent is on a low paying job they wont chase the absent husbands then, thats why i have no use for the CSA. We have quite a few single parents strugging and working but CSA cant be arsed to chase the absent parent up for them. "
Think you need to have a read up on stuff you haven't got a clue about before commenting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"oh i agree absent fathers should pay for their children. I obviously misread. I have no use for the CSA or The New Agency anyway they only help when the parent in charge of the children is on benefits, they dont bother when a single parent is on a low paying job they wont chase the absent husbands then, thats why i have no use for the CSA. We have quite a few single parents strugging and working but CSA cant be arsed to chase the absent parent up for them. "
What the actual fuck?
Well done you on working and bringing up children. However yes some of us are on benefits raising children and do need financial support. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"oh i agree absent fathers should pay for their children. I obviously misread. I have no use for the CSA or The New Agency anyway they only help when the parent in charge of the children is on benefits, they dont bother when a single parent is on a low paying job they wont chase the absent husbands then, thats why i have no use for the CSA. We have quite a few single parents strugging and working but CSA cant be arsed to chase the absent parent up for them. "
I will say as a paying father the CSA we utter rubbish but the new agency set up seem to be better so far I've dealt with both and I do believe these people are now using the taxation system and they have to chase up absent dads if your paying £20 to set it up. Another comment of someone saying about the government taking a percentage why shouldn't they they have to pay wages to the people trying to get the money if the absent parent wants to be a tw@t about it the get charged more if they are sensible and pay direct the government don't take anything apart from the set up fee |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you go through csa if you do occasionally receive payment under mutual agreement but only on occasion??
"
If they've set the claim up they will help you claim money if ex don't pay you if not they will set up arrangement and you sort out if they will collect it which will involve a fee each month or if ex pays you directly in either case they will get you the money |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Csa have always been useless can't imagine the new system being any better. I've never had trouble as I have my kids loads and look after them well, I know mates though that have had hassle, some spend a fortune on their kids while the mother blows her money on shit and the Csa still chase them, they treat bad fathers and good fathers the same......fucking useless! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely useless .. 18 yrs I've had csa involved and still nothing .. Had the same letter months ago they know where he is who he works for etc etc .. I just keep it going now to make his life a bit more awkward . Lol .. What he doesn't know is that I can still chase him until my daughter turns 32 .. ( for the arrears of 20 thousand) So he has another 12 years of running . Lol . Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"All the more reason to come to an arrangement yourselves...."
Yes but it isn't always that easier.
The sperm doner walked out 3 years ago so if he doesn't want to see his child can you really see him wanting to come to some sort of arrangement?????
I only went to them to start as he said he wasn't paying for a child he didn't see lol
So I think I will defiantly pay the 20.00 and they can deal with him |
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I think someone's already said it but what a sad advert for the male population.
You created the child in the first place, just because your relationship has broken down as adults the child shouldn't suffer.
I'm obviously unlike the norm. I pay in full every month via DD. He's my child and I want him looked after properly.
M xx |
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My partner walked out & I struggled for a long time I then took him to csa & the f*•:*•r gave up his job for a while which meant I wasn't entitled to anythin then his 'lovely' girlfriend was giving me abuse so I just thought fk it I'll raise my child my way & provide for her the best I can... But wen I met my current partner who has his children every week over night & pays for them thru mutual agreement his ex still gives us grief that it's not enough so we can't win lol... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cry me a fucking river...
Try being the guy who has to pay hundreds every month... whilst having my daughter 3-4 days a week I have her more than my ex does and she has said that she cant afford to live without the money I pay her...
Dont live beyond your means.. grrr women...
Half the guys on here are too scared to voice there opinions because they want to get their knob wet and dont want to offend you wenches
Abolish csa it works for nobOdyy 100%
Every parent should mind their children 50% of the time if your not willing yo it your a prick!
But also if your having sex with someone like that your a knob too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cry me a fucking river...
Try being the guy who has to pay hundreds every month... whilst having my daughter 3-4 days a week I have her more than my ex does and she has said that she cant afford to live without the money I pay her...
Dont live beyond your means.. grrr women...
Half the guys on here are too scared to voice there opinions because they want to get their knob wet and dont want to offend you wenches
Abolish csa it works for nobOdyy 100%
Every parent should mind their children 50% of the time if your not willing yo it your a prick!
But also if your having sex with someone like that your a knob too!"
Have you even read the thread? Because you're coming across as a cunt.
Most of the women who've commented including myself are getting minimal csa payments or nothing. I'm probably right in saying that the children were happy accidents or the parents fell for love not money. But we're obviously dicks for that.
However by your own confession you had a child with an incapable gold digger.
Would you like to cock block yourself any further?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cockblock myself....
Id rather cockblock myself than stand to agree with such bullshit... you see the side of yourselves not having money from dicks who run away from thy wench
But what about the guy who pays a fuckload so he struggles to survive whilst also having to pay for the child "that he sees 3-4 days overnight etc"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fucking right iam a feminist! Most women this daying age are!
Its you that are backwards in your anti feminist ways women shouldn't be the other children rasing parties men should do it too
And it should be a fucking honour to have your child 3-4 days a week stop moaning!
As for the maintenance its your responsibility to pay for your childs wellfare! |
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Best to come to an arrangement between the two of you (if you can track him down) I personally prefer to pay my ex as it's for my child and I know that money goes towards food and clothes and everything else that comes along with kids,I don't understand men who hide away and try to get out of helping to raise their own child ok the adults may not get on but that doesn't mean they don't need both parents in their lives |
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"Cockblock myself....
Id rather cockblock myself than stand to agree with such bullshit... you see the side of yourselves not having money from dicks who run away from thy wench
But what about the guy who pays a fuckload so he struggles to survive whilst also having to pay for the child "that he sees 3-4 days overnight etc"
"
I thought the amount you paid to the csa or whatever it is now is adjusted for the number of overnight stays? In other words if for arguments sake you are sposed to pay 200 a month but you have the kids half the time then the 200 quid is reduced? I doubt it's by half and I may be wrong as I never had to deal with the csa as I had an agreement with my ex.
And as for brown nosing I'm not sure I've witnessed that on this thread tbh. As most of the posts are from women as predominantly they are the ones who make the claims. Most of the posts from blokes have just been expressing shock at the attitude of SOME absent fathers who won't take responsibility for being a parent.
You also said something like the women who post on the forums are feminists. Is feminism a bad thing then lol. I'm no new age liberal and I'm not a supporter of putting a women in a job just because she has a fanny instead of a cock but surely in general feminism is a good thing as long as like all else it's not taken to extremes.
I can tell by your post it's a very emotive subject for you and that's fine but castigating everyone else who comments on the subject is hardly taking a balanced view
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just to not I pay 200 per month for a child... so I dont have mucb for the child when shes with me... giving the timescale in which I have my daughter.i shouldnt pay and money be spent on her whilst shes with me
Resulting in
I pay for her 50%
And the same vice versa...
but the systems fucked up and women abuse it also |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Csa adjusts maintenance in direct correlation to wages AND overnight stays. For example if according to wage calculation maintenance is £49 a week and you have a child overnight you'd only need to pay £37.
49 divided by 7 nights is £7 a night.
So no its not all mother mother mother. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some women need csa to step because of the situation with an ex i'm one of them, yes my ex pays csa but I don't see a penny of it I make sure it goes into my son's account so that when he hits 18 it'll be sat there waiting for him... am I a gold digger NO i'm not but I do believe my son has a right to the money his father is made to pay him each month. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not all men are as bad as this thread seems to be coming across as.
Not all Fathers for example left there partners and ran and hide, I for instance was the one that was "dumped" shell we say, I thought to keep her and lost. #
I've never used CSA as I think like many other it doesn't work and for us there's no point, I could of got angry, thrown my teddy's out the pram and caused problem after problem. Instead we came to a mutual agreement, I pay her directly into my her bank account every month by Direct Debit, I also deposit more money into my daughters trust fund monthly and a separate bank account for her.
All this on top of the fact my ex is and always has been living in my house rent free. (actually my daughter's house now as she is on the deeds).
I still give her extra money for school clothes, holidays, clubs ect ect. and will continue to do so all the time I'm in a position where I can.
I don't get to see my daughter as often as I would like due to me working in the middle east for about 9 months a year, but while I'm a away I face time and message her daily without fail.
I am happily married now to Florence and we have another child. When I am away she will collect my daughter for weekends and when I'm home my daughter spends as much time with us as possible allowing for her school and so on.
I suppose my point is PLEASE do not tar every father with the same brush.
I couldn't look in the mirror if I thought I wasn't doing as much as I could possible be doing for my children.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cockblock myself....
Id rather cockblock myself than stand to agree with such bullshit... you see the side of yourselves not having money from dicks who run away from thy wench
But what about the guy who pays a fuckload so he struggles to survive whilst also having to pay for the child "that he sees 3-4 days overnight etc"
I thought the amount you paid to the csa or whatever it is now is adjusted for the number of overnight stays? In other words if for arguments sake you are sposed to pay 200 a month but you have the kids half the time then the 200 quid is reduced? I doubt it's by half and I may be wrong as I never had to deal with the csa as I had an agreement with my ex.
And as for brown nosing I'm not sure I've witnessed that on this thread tbh. As most of the posts are from women as predominantly they are the ones who make the claims. Most of the posts from blokes have just been expressing shock at the attitude of SOME absent fathers who won't take responsibility for being a parent.
You also said something like the women who post on the forums are feminists. Is feminism a bad thing then lol. I'm no new age liberal and I'm not a supporter of putting a women in a job just because she has a fanny instead of a cock but surely in general feminism is a good thing as long as like all else it's not taken to extremes.
I can tell by your post it's a very emotive subject for you and that's fine but castigating everyone else who comments on the subject is hardly taking a balanced view
"
Thankyou for actually replying intelligently. I hate this subject as being a father being buttraped monthly because hes honest and looks after his child.. so it really frustrates me.
I believe in equality.
Im just trying to show the other side of the coin.that men are getting screwed over just as bad as they are.
There should be laws in place created by a decent person so people cant abuse each other over something so easily solved. |
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"Cockblock myself....
Id rather cockblock myself than stand to agree with such bullshit... you see the side of yourselves not having money from dicks who run away from thy wench
But what about the guy who pays a fuckload so he struggles to survive whilst also having to pay for the child "that he sees 3-4 days overnight etc"
I thought the amount you paid to the csa or whatever it is now is adjusted for the number of overnight stays? In other words if for arguments sake you are sposed to pay 200 a month but you have the kids half the time then the 200 quid is reduced? I doubt it's by half and I may be wrong as I never had to deal with the csa as I had an agreement with my ex.
And as for brown nosing I'm not sure I've witnessed that on this thread tbh. As most of the posts are from women as predominantly they are the ones who make the claims. Most of the posts from blokes have just been expressing shock at the attitude of SOME absent fathers who won't take responsibility for being a parent.
You also said something like the women who post on the forums are feminists. Is feminism a bad thing then lol. I'm no new age liberal and I'm not a supporter of putting a women in a job just because she has a fanny instead of a cock but surely in general feminism is a good thing as long as like all else it's not taken to extremes.
I can tell by your post it's a very emotive subject for you and that's fine but castigating everyone else who comments on the subject is hardly taking a balanced view
Thankyou for actually replying intelligently. I hate this subject as being a father being buttraped monthly because hes honest and looks after his child.. so it really frustrates me.
I believe in equality.
Im just trying to show the other side of the coin.that men are getting screwed over just as bad as they are.
There should be laws in place created by a decent person so people cant abuse each other over something so easily solved."
That's the way of the world mate sad as that is. Honesty is rarely rewarded and the dodgy duck and dive fucks who know how to play the system are the ones who generally prosper |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some women need csa to step because of the situation with an ex i'm one of them, yes my ex pays csa but I don't see a penny of it I make sure it goes into my son's account so that when he hits 18 it'll be sat there waiting for him... am I a gold digger NO i'm not but I do believe my son has a right to the money his father is made to pay him each month."
thats a really decent thing to do and I think if you adked your ex partner he would think your a lovely person to do that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some women need csa to step because of the situation with an ex i'm one of them, yes my ex pays csa but I don't see a penny of it I make sure it goes into my son's account so that when he hits 18 it'll be sat there waiting for him... am I a gold digger NO i'm not but I do believe my son has a right to the money his father is made to pay him each month. thats a really decent thing to do and I think if you adked your ex partner he would think your a lovely person to do that."
If this is what you choose to do with the money you receive from your ex and are in a position to do this then that's great.
However that's not what I pay my money to my ex for, I don't expect her to be saving it up for her, the money is for my daughter to live day to day.
Every time my ex buys her a coffee I wanna feel I've paid half for the coffee.
Every time she gets on a bus I wanna feel I've paid half for her fare.
Every time she gets a new 1 direction CD, or bites into a steak at home I wanna feel like I've paid my way for those items.
For me its not just for her pocket, its towards her life, her house, her upbringing, her day to day bits and pieces.
If my ex buys a bottle of wine or has a night out then she deserves it, and she can do that as a thankyou for bringing up my child single handed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i did spend time on benefits about a year i think it was hard. Im not badmouthing people on benefit at all I have dealt with the CSA for many years due to my particular job. And if I wish to say I have no confidence in the CSA surely in a democratic world I am allowed to say such a thing without it getting to a personal attack. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not all men are as bad as this thread seems to be coming across as.
Not all Fathers for example left there partners and ran and hide, I for instance was the one that was "dumped" shell we say, I thought to keep her and lost. #
I've never used CSA as I think like many other it doesn't work and for us there's no point, I could of got angry, thrown my teddy's out the pram and caused problem after problem. Instead we came to a mutual agreement, I pay her directly into my her bank account every month by Direct Debit, I also deposit more money into my daughters trust fund monthly and a separate bank account for her.
All this on top of the fact my ex is and always has been living in my house rent free. (actually my daughter's house now as she is on the deeds).
I still give her extra money for school clothes, holidays, clubs ect ect. and will continue to do so all the time I'm in a position where I can.
I don't get to see my daughter as often as I would like due to me working in the middle east for about 9 months a year, but while I'm a away I face time and message her daily without fail.
I am happily married now to Florence and we have another child. When I am away she will collect my daughter for weekends and when I'm home my daughter spends as much time with us as possible allowing for her school and so on.
I suppose my point is PLEASE do not tar every father with the same brush.
I couldn't look in the mirror if I thought I wasn't doing as much as I could possible be doing for my children.
"
A point well made 
I'm lucky I get on well with my ex and therefore have had a smooth run with this kind of thing, the kids are well looked after by her, we parent them jointly, I pay my way etc.
I'm glad as when it doesn't work out the bitterness is almost always shown in front of kids and it ain't a good way for them to grow up!
Guess what's been proven in this post is not all men run away from responsibility and not all women use the child support payments on themselves! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately there will be dads that go missing there will be dads that will also willingly pay but there will also be women that do the same. What it boils down to is the parents need to stop and think of the kids, some parents don't see their kids some choose this option some don't it's all down to the individuals. I don't think anyone had a good word about the CSA but let's give the new system a chance and see if parents can become more civil to each other remember this is for the kids not adults to argue over. If you have the children most of the week/time you know it's expensive if you only see your child once maybe twice a week you have no idea of the costs, you will also argue your paying too much but look at the figures you helped bring the child into the world yes you have rent or mortgage just like the resident parent but they have the kids to feed also not like you so that little extra is for the child to survive. If it means a child is fed and clothed properly it's worth going without the fags and alcohol. You helped bring them into the world you help support them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have two sons obv both div who see their children as much as they can and they pay a wack from their wages which is how it should be and dont complain and even apart from 300 a month they are always taking them on hols and buying school uniforms etc., my point was that the son whose wife is working no problem but the son whose wife cannot work obv yet as little one only just in school the CSA keep on and on asking him to send wage slips in that was my point they sometimes chase the wrong dads they dont put enough effort into finidng the dads who literally try and hide |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex owes me thousands for our daughter who is now nearly 11 never have she o I had a penny off him and csa send me regular letters and it makes me sick knowing he got a very well paid job and still can't pay for his daughter but at the end of the day I don't have to thank him for fuck all and she already knows he is a waste of space but on that note my partner got a son who he pays well over the top for and he has him regular but fuck me don't his ex take him for a ride my opinion males and fems take the piss... by the way before anyone jumps down my throat it's a forums u can write what u like everyone got their own opinions unless that's not allowed no more!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My ex owes me thousands for our daughter who is now nearly 11 never have she o I had a penny off him and csa send me regular letters and it makes me sick knowing he got a very well paid job and still can't pay for his daughter but at the end of the day I don't have to thank him for fuck all and she already knows he is a waste of space but on that note my partner got a son who he pays well over the top for and he has him regular but fuck me don't his ex take him for a ride my opinion males and fems take the piss... by the way before anyone jumps down my throat it's a forums u can write what u like everyone got their own opinions unless that's not allowed no more!! "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I go out for the day and all hell breaks lose lol
Just so you all know
1.i was asking on view of the csa on the absent fathers.
2.i take my hat off to any parent who still supports their children after a split.
3.i don't think it's nice to be called a wench when I was actually in one relationship for 22 years.so to be fair I thought I had made the right choices.
4.yep and it's a forum and everyone is entitled to there say just some people tend to word things wrong or say something they really don't know nothing about.
5.i so wish my child had a father in their lives but as drink was more important than her then I have to live with that and do the best I can to bring her up on my own.
6.all I want is for my child to be happy and it took two of us to make her and I don't see why even tho he fucked off he shouldn't support her financially when he is tucked up with another women and her kids and provides for them do you?????
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some women need csa to step because of the situation with an ex i'm one of them, yes my ex pays csa but I don't see a penny of it I make sure it goes into my son's account so that when he hits 18 it'll be sat there waiting for him... am I a gold digger NO i'm not but I do believe my son has a right to the money his father is made to pay him each month. thats a really decent thing to do and I think if you adked your ex partner he would think your a lovely person to do that.
If this is what you choose to do with the money you receive from your ex and are in a position to do this then that's great.
However that's not what I pay my money to my ex for, I don't expect her to be saving it up for her, the money is for my daughter to live day to day.
Every time my ex buys her a coffee I wanna feel I've paid half for the coffee.
Every time she gets on a bus I wanna feel I've paid half for her fare.
Every time she gets a new 1 direction CD, or bites into a steak at home I wanna feel like I've paid my way for those items.
For me its not just for her pocket, its towards her life, her house, her upbringing, her day to day bits and pieces.
If my ex buys a bottle of wine or has a night out then she deserves it, and she can do that as a thankyou for bringing up my child single handed."
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Me and the ex opted out of the CSA..I happily pay the rent on my daughter,and more..lessons,clothes,holidays etc..we had a nightmare with the CSA.they treated me like I was scum as if I had chucked my muck in her,and bailed sharpish.which wasn't the case...now my ex gets all the money paid direct to her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I go out for the day and all hell breaks lose lol
Just so you all know
1.i was asking on view of the csa on the absent fathers.
2.i take my hat off to any parent who still supports their children after a split.
3.i don't think it's nice to be called a wench when I was actually in one relationship for 22 years.so to be fair I thought I had made the right choices.
4.yep and it's a forum and everyone is entitled to there say just some people tend to word things wrong or say something they really don't know nothing about.
5.i so wish my child had a father in their lives but as drink was more important than her then I have to live with that and do the best I can to bring her up on my own.
6.all I want is for my child to be happy and it took two of us to make her and I don't see why even tho he fucked off he shouldn't support her financially when he is tucked up with another women and her kids and provides for them do you?????
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My daughters father now lives with another woman and her three children plus twin girls they took on from a family member. When I rang the CSA to find out how the maintenance was worked out I was disgusted! Basically they looked at his income and had to allow for a large percentage to be deducted for his new partner and the five kids. My daughter only got a portion of what was left of his wages ( which wasn't a lot) it's disgusting that she is his only blood child yet she doesn't get what is due to her. Too many times the absent parent whether that be the mother of the father don't like any monies going to the parent / carer / ex. It's a shame to be honest as the child should be but isn't always paramount in these cases. Also, when I've asked for a review they have blatantly refused to do it because I do not have any concrete evidence of increased hours or wages ( why would I if I don't live with him?!) for them to conduct a review. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some women need csa to step because of the situation with an ex i'm one of them, yes my ex pays csa but I don't see a penny of it I make sure it goes into my son's account so that when he hits 18 it'll be sat there waiting for him... am I a gold digger NO i'm not but I do believe my son has a right to the money his father is made to pay him each month. thats a really decent thing to do and I think if you adked your ex partner he would think your a lovely person to do that.
If this is what you choose to do with the money you receive from your ex and are in a position to do this then that's great.
However that's not what I pay my money to my ex for, I don't expect her to be saving it up for her, the money is for my daughter to live day to day.
Every time my ex buys her a coffee I wanna feel I've paid half for the coffee.
Every time she gets on a bus I wanna feel I've paid half for her fare.
Every time she gets a new 1 direction CD, or bites into a steak at home I wanna feel like I've paid my way for those items.
For me its not just for her pocket, its towards her life, her house, her upbringing, her day to day bits and pieces.
If my ex buys a bottle of wine or has a night out then she deserves it, and she can do that as a thankyou for bringing up my child single handed.
"
If my son needs anything then yes I can use the money saved but other than that I don't touch it there are reasons for this which I won't go into but on the whole this is the best result for all concerned it also stops my ex from being nasty, do I regret making the choice I did no not at all my son never goes without in fact friends say he's spoilt rotten I'm just happy in the fact that when he's older he will have a lovely nest egg that both myself and my ex have paid into over the yrs |
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