FabSwingers.com > Forums > Wales > I've seen a lot of "ask my owner…" headings on single girls profile
I've seen a lot of "ask my owner…" headings on single girls profile
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I'm realising that more and more single lady profiles have in their headings or profile that if you want to have sex with them that you need to ask their owner or master etc. And place his tag in for you to message. I think it's a bit weird how you have to search a blokes profile to ask if it's OK to sleep with the girl!? Is it just me or are there other single blokes thinking the same?! Surely it would be easier for them to do a couples profile because it's basically the same principles?! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's all about control. They could be in a sub dom relationship. And her master has control over who and what she does..."
spot on thats what my single sub friends with masters tell me xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Bit weird asking permission, that my opinion only "
It maybe to you. But someone in the bdsm world who livea sub dom relationship it is perfectly natural. I have known I few in my time x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I understand the Dom and know about it but the one that's confused me is the ones where they say ask my owner (with no mention of Dom) why do they have a singles profile if you need permission from the guy to sleep with her?! Might as well have a couples profile?! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I understand the Dom and know about it but the one that's confused me is the ones where they say ask my owner (with no mention of Dom) why do they have a singles profile if you need permission from the guy to sleep with her?! Might as well have a couples profile?! "
Because in their own minds l guess they arent a couple. They are master and sub and the master l guess is in control of who she sees etc |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I understand the Dom and know about it but the one that's confused me is the ones where they say ask my owner (with no mention of Dom) why do they have a singles profile if you need permission from the guy to sleep with her?! Might as well have a couples profile?!
Because in their own minds l guess they arent a couple. They are master and sub and the master l guess is in control of who she sees etc"
Plus her master may not be playing so therw would be no point in having a couples profile. He could have full access to her single profile and pick and choose who she replies to etc. Like I said it's all about control x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's odd in a way in these days of increased promotion of sex equality. But for reasons that a true sub would explain better than me, it turns them on to give such total control over their sexual lives (and more sometimes) to a 'master'.
It is also a matter of personal safety to - to have someone 'watching over you' - protecting you in a way - I can see the attraction but I'm a bit too feisty to fully submit to anyone haha.
Each to their own!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I understand the Dom and know about it but the one that's confused me is the ones where they say ask my owner (with no mention of Dom) why do they have a singles profile if you need permission from the guy to sleep with her?! Might as well have a couples profile?! "
What is it about asking permission you don't understand? Let me try to answer this thread simply. . example, you own a car..in order for me to use it, l would have to ask you the owner if l could use it..that's it.
I have a slave. If you wish to have any interaction with her, youhave to ask me. This is a consensually agreed contract between her and me. It's what she wanted at the start of our Dom/sub relationship. If you wish further information on D/s relationships please feel free to inbox me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Don't need to put it in simple form for me because I already understand it. I'm just asking why is there so many women which don't mention the sub/slave/master activities in their profiles and have a heading message my owner if you want to meet?! Just seems a bit weird |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I hate all this ownership shit outside of play time. It's a sexist manipulative controlling load of bollocks.
Be sub or Dom in your bedroom / dungeon / forest / wherever you want to play, but end it at the end of a session and don't abuse the woman by restricting her freedom at all times if the day. It's exhausting and it's unfair.
Don't patronise me or the OP by saying we don't understand. I fully understand and I hate it.
If you're a woman who wants to be controlled 24/7, instead of finding a master to manipulate you perhaps go and see a psychiatrist to discuss problems in your childhood. Find happiness in your life instead of being squeezed into a shrinking box.
#feminismforever |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I understand the Dom and know about it but the one that's confused me is the ones where they say ask my owner (with no mention of Dom) why do they have a singles profile if you need permission from the guy to sleep with her?! Might as well have a couples profile?!
What is it about asking permission you don't understand? Let me try to answer this thread simply. . example, you own a car..in order for me to use it, l would have to ask you the owner if l could use it..that's it.
I have a slave. If you wish to have any interaction with her, youhave to ask me. This is a consensually agreed contract between her and me. It's what she wanted at the start of our Dom/sub relationship. If you wish further information on D/s relationships please feel free to inbox me."
And by the way - as well as disagreeing with the way you operate sexually, you sound like an INCREDIBLY patronising man. Why do you actively want to promote such inequality in your life and hers? It's manipulative and it's emotionally and psychologically damaging.
I get BDSM completely and have played both sides. Control, humiliation, pain. But for the love of god, leave it it in the dungeon and don't screw with people's heads outside of that.
All too often men on here operate as "so-called masters" because they want a ticket to fuck whoever they like but don't like the idea of their girl putting it around. It stinks.
Real masters operate with a HUGE amount of respect and manners.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hate all this ownership shit outside of play time. It's a sexist manipulative controlling load of bollocks.
Be sub or Dom in your bedroom / dungeon / forest / wherever you want to play, but end it at the end of a session and don't abuse the woman by restricting her freedom at all times if the day. It's exhausting and it's unfair.
Don't patronise me or the OP by saying we don't understand. I fully understand and I hate it.
If you're a woman who wants to be controlled 24/7, instead of finding a master to manipulate you perhaps go and see a psychiatrist to discuss problems in your childhood. Find happiness in your life instead of being squeezed into a shrinking box.
#feminismforever "
Surely if this a consensual thing between two people
It's obviously what they want
If you don't agree fine but this is a very broad statement to make that they need see a psychiatrist and squeezed into a little box ect
Each to there own
There's many things I don't understand or like
I just think as long as that's there enjoyment good on them |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hate all this ownership shit outside of play time. It's a sexist manipulative controlling load of bollocks.
Be sub or Dom in your bedroom / dungeon / forest / wherever you want to play, but end it at the end of a session and don't abuse the woman by restricting her freedom at all times if the day. It's exhausting and it's unfair.
Don't patronise me or the OP by saying we don't understand. I fully understand and I hate it.
If you're a woman who wants to be controlled 24/7, instead of finding a master to manipulate you perhaps go and see a psychiatrist to discuss problems in your childhood. Find happiness in your life instead of being squeezed into a shrinking box.
#feminismforever
Surely if this a consensual thing between two people
It's obviously what they want
If you don't agree fine but this is a very broad statement to make that they need see a psychiatrist and squeezed into a little box ect
Each to there own
There's many things I don't understand or like
I just think as long as that's there enjoyment good on them "
I disagree. I think a lot of brainwashing goes on and I think the women are vulnerable. I met a couple in their forties once who "owned" a girl in her twenties, and the dom woman told me they looked after her because it wasn't safe for her to play on her own. Bullshit! I've operated on sites as a single woman and never had any problems with my safety because I take sensible precautions. I agree - many women are less confident and less assertive than I am, but they need to work on this rather than letting someone else control them.
I can't help but think that a lot of these slave women are just vulnerable and they've been sucked in by older and more manipulative people.
I'll say it again - I do totally get the sub thing during play. But leave it there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hate all this ownership shit outside of play time. It's a sexist manipulative controlling load of bollocks.
Be sub or Dom in your bedroom / dungeon / forest / wherever you want to play, but end it at the end of a session and don't abuse the woman by restricting her freedom at all times if the day. It's exhausting and it's unfair.
Don't patronise me or the OP by saying we don't understand. I fully understand and I hate it.
If you're a woman who wants to be controlled 24/7, instead of finding a master to manipulate you perhaps go and see a psychiatrist to discuss problems in your childhood. Find happiness in your life instead of being squeezed into a shrinking box.
#feminismforever
Surely if this a consensual thing between two people
It's obviously what they want
If you don't agree fine but this is a very broad statement to make that they need see a psychiatrist and squeezed into a little box ect
Each to there own
There's many things I don't understand or like
I just think as long as that's there enjoyment good on them
I disagree. I think a lot of brainwashing goes on and I think the women are vulnerable. I met a couple in their forties once who "owned" a girl in her twenties, and the dom woman told me they looked after her because it wasn't safe for her to play on her own. Bullshit! I've operated on sites as a single woman and never had any problems with my safety because I take sensible precautions. I agree - many women are less confident and less assertive than I am, but they need to work on this rather than letting someone else control them.
I can't help but think that a lot of these slave women are just vulnerable and they've been sucked in by older and more manipulative people.
I'll say it again - I do totally get the sub thing during play. But leave it there."
I don't disagree to some of what you say in this statement hun
just think if there that vulnerable would they be on a site like this
And agree you have to look after yourself as a single women x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *awkesWoman
over a year ago
Corwen |
I guess each to their own...and it's really their own business.
As a submissive I won't EVER just 'leave it in the bedroom' that's the whole point. The 'out-of-the-bedroom' aspects of a Dom/sub relationship is where the whole dynamic works because what that relationship means is based on a high degree of trust which can only be accomplished out of the bedroom. It's part of the psychological excitement for me of learning from one another. I would never just be submissive in a bedroom without being submissive outside it.. to me that's the difference between a kinky session compared to a bond of trust and loyalty which needs time ouside sex to achieve.
Having said that...we are all different and I don't use this site for the D/s side of my life as I won't mix swinging and D/s to me it's not the same thing at all.
I'm either in a deep loyal D/s relationship. ..or I'm single and swinging. I wouldn't be looking for a Dominant on here and if I were under the guidance of a Dominant. ..I wouldn't be on here.. if that makes sense.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ok I am going to give my viewpoint...
I have recently crossed over to kink and has a Minor Dom / sub relationship.
In my experience it is always about consent nothing is ever taken from the sub it is always given by them. The Dom earns the trust and repsect.
Yes there are some people out there that demand in and that the girl just kneels straight away and gives everything and yes without consent that is abuse.
However the sub always gives it is always discussed the trust given to the Dom is never abused. The second it is that relationship is finished.
Yes you might have to ask his permission this is normal in Bdsm. If you are going to play with a sub and it doesn't have to involve sex it could be just impact or rope. The Dom will vet you they will decide if you are good enough but also more importantly if thier sub is going to be safe, respected and well treated with you.
While you might have to talk to him. He will discuss it with her. They will decide together.
The power exchange in some ways is an illusion as the sub can take back the submission or trust at any point.
The Dom only ever appears to have the control. All play should be with a safe word and the sub can stop it instantly.
So the sub ultimately always has the true power.
Just my thoughts. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I hate all this ownership shit outside of play time. It's a sexist manipulative controlling load of bollocks.
Be sub or Dom in your bedroom / dungeon / forest / wherever you want to play, but end it at the end of a session and don't abuse the woman by restricting her freedom at all times if the day. It's exhausting and it's unfair.
Don't patronise me or the OP by saying we don't understand. I fully understand and I hate it.
If you're a woman who wants to be controlled 24/7, instead of finding a master to manipulate you perhaps go and see a psychiatrist to discuss problems in your childhood. Find happiness in your life instead of being squeezed into a shrinking box.
#feminismforever "
I don't need to see psychiatrist I'm perfectly normal and I'm submissive in and out of the bedroom yes it's about the master controlling the submissive but the control is all about mentality I'm still learning but I know that it's all about trusting someone to give them ure submission building up a connection with that person and discussing all aspects of bdsm. My partner and me discuss who we play with then he makes the final decision it's not about fucking just anyone we have to build up a trusted friendship before anything happens |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We for one aren't into this scene at all.
However we do know a few people that are and are well looked after by there men.
I'm pretty sure there are more people that are not in the scene that probably need psychiatric help.
Now again we are no expert but some of the comments made on this thread have probably ruffled a few feathers that are in the scene.
Even we find some comments bizarre.
Like someone said above it's best you all go and read up on it before commenting such negativity and bullshit  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We for one aren't into this scene at all.
However we do know a few people that are and are well looked after by there men.
I'm pretty sure there are more people that are not in the scene that probably need psychiatric help.
Now again we are no expert but some of the comments made on this thread have probably ruffled a few feathers that are in the scene.
Even we find some comments bizarre.
Like someone said above it's best you all go and read up on it before commenting such negativity and bullshit "
.
Well said |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I myself have just brought up the subject about the ladies that mention ownership but are listed as single instead of having a profile that involves both of them instead of the bloke having to message another bloke who has his own profile and being flooded with messages.
I think what some people have mentioned is a bit strong and can be a but negative but I can see their points as some pictures of bdm sessions where the lady is head down and ass up with slut written across her ass kinda shows the points some people have made about being humiliated.
This has been a great thread to read and cheers the comments people ???? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I do believe these Dom/sub relationships exist, and good luck to those that enjoy it, but through experience I always believe there are a lot of control freaks, that use this as an excuse, even going as far as abuse.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm realising that more and more single lady profiles have in their headings or profile that if you want to have sex with them that you need to ask their owner or master etc. And place his tag in for you to message. I think it's a bit weird how you have to search a blokes profile to ask if it's OK to sleep with the girl!? Is it just me or are there other single blokes thinking the same?! Surely it would be easier for them to do a couples profile because it's basically the same principles?! "
I dunno, I guess it's none of my business as to how they conduct their sexual consent arrangements. I don't see why you'd question it in that it's just the individuals' personal preference.
I get the impression that you view profiles like items in an Argos catalogue and get annoyed when an item isn't in stock for you?! I might be wrong of course.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Look I did go on a bit of a rant, and it's good to read the measured and sensible points that SOME of you have made about the reality of being in your sub/dom situation. Fair play.
It does concern me if more and more women are saying they need permission from their master before meeting others, because from what I've seen, there aren't that many proper doms on here! Who are all these magical invisible masters? Oh - maybe they're just controlling wankers who thumbed through 50 shades of shite and have always been a bit emotionally and psychologically abusive in their relationships.
As for arse in the air, slut spanked on it, riding crop marks, humiliation and degradation - I haven't got a problem with that at all if it's all consensual. I've dished out some of this in my time. It's the possession thing I have issues with as I don't think it's doing the woman any good and it's giving less intelligent men a really fucked up reality of what a healthy relationship is.
Where do you draw the line between BDSM play and sexual, emotional and psychological abuse? I think it should be challenged by people like me because some of it is not healthy.
PS - yes I agree with the original post - why not set-up a couples profile? Maybe sometimes it turns both of them on to advertise the slut for sex while being the puppeteer in the background. Like a whore and a pimp relationship. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Look I did go on a bit of a rant, and it's good to read the measured and sensible points that SOME of you have made about the reality of being in your sub/dom situation. Fair play.
It does concern me if more and more women are saying they need permission from their master before meeting others, because from what I've seen, there aren't that many proper doms on here! Who are all these magical invisible masters? Oh - maybe they're just controlling wankers who thumbed through 50 shades of shite and have always been a bit emotionally and psychologically abusive in their relationships.
As for arse in the air, slut spanked on it, riding crop marks, humiliation and degradation - I haven't got a problem with that at all if it's all consensual. I've dished out some of this in my time. It's the possession thing I have issues with as I don't think it's doing the woman any good and it's giving less intelligent men a really fucked up reality of what a healthy relationship is.
Where do you draw the line between BDSM play and sexual, emotional and psychological abuse? I think it should be challenged by people like me because some of it is not healthy.
PS - yes I agree with the original post - why not set-up a couples profile? Maybe sometimes it turns both of them on to advertise the slut for sex while being the puppeteer in the background. Like a whore and a pimp relationship."
First of all there is a major difference between a real Dom and and someone who wants to control and abuse. A real Dom will want to nurture support and help support thier sub be the person they want to be. They want to ensure that at all times their sub is safe and looked after even if it means that they themselves have to take flack or abuse or even danger.
Where is the line between play an life for Dom/sub. It is where the two people decide to it be.
Don't get me wrong I do advocate any abuse and would never want anyone to go through that but a true Dom / sub relationship isnt about that. A sub is never a possession. The sub gives the greatest gift that one person can ever give another complete submission is the biggest trust you can put in someone. It is saying I trust you with every part of my life.
Why do they have to set a couple profile?
She might play completely on her own when the Dom has been statisfied that she will be looked after and safe. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Look I did go on a bit of a rant, and it's good to read the measured and sensible points that SOME of you have made about the reality of being in your sub/dom situation. Fair play.
It does concern me if more and more women are saying they need permission from their master before meeting others, because from what I've seen, there aren't that many proper doms on here! Who are all these magical invisible masters? Oh - maybe they're just controlling wankers who thumbed through 50 shades of shite and have always been a bit emotionally and psychologically abusive in their relationships.
As for arse in the air, slut spanked on it, riding crop marks, humiliation and degradation - I haven't got a problem with that at all if it's all consensual. I've dished out some of this in my time. It's the possession thing I have issues with as I don't think it's doing the woman any good and it's giving less intelligent men a really fucked up reality of what a healthy relationship is.
Where do you draw the line between BDSM play and sexual, emotional and psychological abuse? I think it should be challenged by people like me because some of it is not healthy.
PS - yes I agree with the original post - why not set-up a couples profile? Maybe sometimes it turns both of them on to advertise the slut for sex while being the puppeteer in the background. Like a whore and a pimp relationship.
First of all there is a major difference between a real Dom and and someone who wants to control and abuse. A real Dom will want to nurture support and help support thier sub be the person they want to be. They want to ensure that at all times their sub is safe and looked after even if it means that they themselves have to take flack or abuse or even danger.
Where is the line between play an life for Dom/sub. It is where the two people decide to it be.
Don't get me wrong I do advocate any abuse and would never want anyone to go through that but a true Dom / sub relationship isnt about that. A sub is never a possession. The sub gives the greatest gift that one person can ever give another complete submission is the biggest trust you can put in someone. It is saying I trust you with every part of my life.
Why do they have to set a couple profile?
She might play completely on her own when the Dom has been statisfied that she will be looked after and safe."
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Look I did go on a bit of a rant, and it's good to read the measured and sensible points that SOME of you have made about the reality of being in your sub/dom situation. Fair play.
It does concern me if more and more women are saying they need permission from their master before meeting others, because from what I've seen, there aren't that many proper doms on here! Who are all these magical invisible masters? Oh - maybe they're just controlling wankers who thumbed through 50 shades of shite and have always been a bit emotionally and psychologically abusive in their relationships.
As for arse in the air, slut spanked on it, riding crop marks, humiliation and degradation - I haven't got a problem with that at all if it's all consensual. I've dished out some of this in my time. It's the possession thing I have issues with as I don't think it's doing the woman any good and it's giving less intelligent men a really fucked up reality of what a healthy relationship is.
Where do you draw the line between BDSM play and sexual, emotional and psychological abuse? I think it should be challenged by people like me because some of it is not healthy.
PS - yes I agree with the original post - why not set-up a couples profile? Maybe sometimes it turns both of them on to advertise the slut for sex while being the puppeteer in the background. Like a whore and a pimp relationship.
First of all there is a major difference between a real Dom and and someone who wants to control and abuse. A real Dom will want to nurture support and help support thier sub be the person they want to be. They want to ensure that at all times their sub is safe and looked after even if it means that they themselves have to take flack or abuse or even danger.
Where is the line between play an life for Dom/sub. It is where the two people decide to it be.
Don't get me wrong I do advocate any abuse and would never want anyone to go through that but a true Dom / sub relationship isnt about that. A sub is never a possession. The sub gives the greatest gift that one person can ever give another complete submission is the biggest trust you can put in someone. It is saying I trust you with every part of my life.
Why do they have to set a couple profile?
She might play completely on her own when the Dom has been statisfied that she will be looked after and safe."
He speaketh sense |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Im sure if most of my neighbours looked in our window and saw Lady tied up to the ceiling with a spider gag in while I paddle her, they'd probably call the police, that's why we shut the curtains! 
Our play doesn't always stop in the bedroom, Lady had certain tasks and duties to perform in day to day life, but she enjoys doing things for people and making them happy, so it comes naturally.
People who don't understand Domplay never will, im open with my mates about everything and they still don't understand why Lady and I enjoy the stuff we do 
We have the strongest, most passionate relationship I've ever been in and I love that! It's the safest and happiest I've ever felt
So we are on here as a couple, I (Lord) could play alone if I wanted to, we've talked about it and even Cuckqueening, but I have no real need to play outside the relationship |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sigh. 50 Shades has a lot to answer for.
Some of the strongest, most trusting relationships I know are D/S relationships. "
Well me and mr have been together 9years and only in the past 4/5 years I've discovered I'm sub just comes naturally and I love it it was my choice for my partner to be the one to make decisions and control me but the control over me is only because he cares about my safety and who we play with |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sigh. 50 Shades has a lot to answer for.
Some of the strongest, most trusting relationships I know are D/S relationships.
Well me and mr have been together 9years and only in the past 4/5 years I've discovered I'm sub just comes naturally and I love it it was my choice for my partner to be the one to make decisions and control me but the control over me is only because he cares about my safety and who we play with "
And a lovely couple you both make x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Some women like to feel controlled, willingly give themselves to the role of submission .. A Dom's role is to enable that desire that she may have to be treated as a "slut" . . Others see their roles in different ways. It's SHOULD be all about nurturing what the sub is looking to achieve, the Doms role is simply to facilitate it in the confines of what had been agreed . . Anything else is a bully
I learnt early on, I cannot submit to anyone . . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
