FabSwingers.com > Forums > Fabswingers.com site feedback > Bareback option
Bareback option
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"Coz this isnt fab guys
People just wouldnt click safe sex if they are interested in bareback"
So many people ask for bb in messages but have safe sex on profile! For many it's an instant block not to have it on your profile. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Coz this isnt fab guys
People just wouldnt click safe sex if they are interested in bareback
So many people ask for bb in messages but have safe sex on profile! For many it's an instant block not to have it on your profile. "
Chancers most don't even know what they've chosen and just click anything |
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By *ebootCouple 52 weeks ago
Telford |
"If I don't see safe sex as an interest on a profile I assume they are barebackers."
This is true, but for us who do play bareback with trusted friends, we don’t tick safe sex so as not to be hypocritical or deceitful, but that doesn’t mean to say we don’t play safe at all.
Besides, we think the whole premise of people ticking “safe sex” gives false security anyway - peoples definition of safe sex is widely different. |
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By *otgirl32Woman 51 weeks ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"This is a more sophisticated site and our health is number one priority."
Hmmm ....... so Fab will execute pro-health choices for all of us.
Yet for the COVID vaccine it was "my body my choice" i.e., you made your own choices (and decisions)
Got it |
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"This is a more sophisticated site and our health is number one priority."
C’mon!! Prep is safer than condoms for hiv and everything else is just as likely to be passed on from oral as vaginal/anal. Prep and regular testing is the way to go (unless you use condoms for oral) with condoms as a backup if you want to. |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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"This is a more sophisticated site and our health is number one priority."
Judging by the messages I get sometimes I hardly think its sophisticated. Maybe I'm missing something |
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"This is a more sophisticated site and our health is number one priority.
C’mon!! Prep is safer than condoms for hiv and everything else is just as likely to be passed on from oral as vaginal/anal. Prep and regular testing is the way to go (unless you use condoms for oral) with condoms as a backup if you want to. "
THIS, people, is how it is. There is NO way you are having "safe" sex if you don't use condoms for Oral. Oral gonnorhea and chlamydia are on the rise. |
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"This is a more sophisticated site and our health is number one priority.
C’mon!! Prep is safer than condoms for hiv and everything else is just as likely to be passed on from oral as vaginal/anal. Prep and regular testing is the way to go (unless you use condoms for oral) with condoms as a backup if you want to. "
Well most people on here doing bareback are not on prep and not being tested that regularly in my experience.
Moreover saying transmission of say HIV is as likely with oral as vaginal/anal is just plain wrong! Oral is not risk free of course but much lower risk. Getting HIV from an infected lady by giving her oral is extremely low risk. Getting HIV from oral on a man a bit higher. Higher still if take cum in mouth or if gum problems etc. Risk from vaginal sex is much higher and from anal much higher again. Unprotected anal is the highest risk as chance of micro tears/bleeding much higher. Various studies out there but the risk from anal sex at least 20 times from oral and probably much more. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 47 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"This is a more sophisticated site and our health is number one priority.
C’mon!! Prep is safer than condoms for hiv and everything else is just as likely to be passed on from oral as vaginal/anal. Prep and regular testing is the way to go (unless you use condoms for oral) with condoms as a backup if you want to. "
How effective is Prep regarding pregnancy, as you seem to have overlooked one of the key purposes of condoms?
A |
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My problem with only having a "safe sex" and not also a "bareback" option is lack of useful information. Useful information that would help *both* those seeking bareback sex *and* those seeking to avoid it.
The problem with the safe sex option is that it can reasonably be interpreted in two fundamentally different ways:
1) I always use condoms, or
2) I am willing to use condoms.
(I've substituted "use condoms" here because that's how *most* people interpret "safe sex").
I lean towards interpreting it as meaning (2) because all the other profile preferences are interpreted as "willing to" or "sometimes", rather than "always". I know that lots of people interpret it the same way as me, and lots of people are the other way round.
So, if you are seeking bareback, you don't know if you should ask someone who has ticked "safe sex" or not: if they are also using interpretation 2 then they might be willing. Or they might be offended.
If you want to avoid those who bareback then you don't know whether someone who has "safe sex" ticked is signalling that they always use condoms or if they are just willing to now and again.
Having a bareback option would be useful for both barebackers and those who want to avoid them. |
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"My problem with only having a "safe sex" and not also a "bareback" option is lack of useful information. Useful information that would help *both* those seeking bareback sex *and* those seeking to avoid it.
The problem with the safe sex option is that it can reasonably be interpreted in two fundamentally different ways:
1) I always use condoms, or
2) I am willing to use condoms.
(I've substituted "use condoms" here because that's how *most* people interpret "safe sex").
I lean towards interpreting it as meaning (2) because all the other profile preferences are interpreted as "willing to" or "sometimes", rather than "always". I know that lots of people interpret it the same way as me, and lots of people are the other way round.
So, if you are seeking bareback, you don't know if you should ask someone who has ticked "safe sex" or not: if they are also using interpretation 2 then they might be willing. Or they might be offended.
If you want to avoid those who bareback then you don't know whether someone who has "safe sex" ticked is signalling that they always use condoms or if they are just willing to now and again.
Having a bareback option would be useful for both barebackers and those who want to avoid them."
This is where communication comes in. Seriously, try chatting to people, you get a lot more information, and play time, when you are a sociable person.
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By *bi HaiveMan 47 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"My problem with only having a "safe sex" and not also a "bareback" option is lack of useful information. Useful information that would help *both* those seeking bareback sex *and* those seeking to avoid it.
The problem with the safe sex option is that it can reasonably be interpreted in two fundamentally different ways:
1) I always use condoms, or
2) I am willing to use condoms.
(I've substituted "use condoms" here because that's how *most* people interpret "safe sex").
I lean towards interpreting it as meaning (2) because all the other profile preferences are interpreted as "willing to" or "sometimes", rather than "always". I know that lots of people interpret it the same way as me, and lots of people are the other way round.
So, if you are seeking bareback, you don't know if you should ask someone who has ticked "safe sex" or not: if they are also using interpretation 2 then they might be willing. Or they might be offended.
If you want to avoid those who bareback then you don't know whether someone who has "safe sex" ticked is signalling that they always use condoms or if they are just willing to now and again.
Having a bareback option would be useful for both barebackers and those who want to avoid them."
Like everything though, any box ticking exercise relies on honesty.
People fib about all sorts. Age, sexuality, height, body shape, dick size....why would you assume anyone would be honest about attitude to safe sex? If someone thinks being honest about an interest in bare will hamper their chances of getting a meet then how likely is it they'd tick a certain box? 
A |
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By *tuluMan 46 weeks ago
The Side of the Mersey |
Should at least be a search option as it is on fabguys.
It’s easy to say look for people who haven’t ticked “safe sex” but that isn’t a way to filter for what you are looking for.
And as people have said. Lots of people would potentially tick both options. Ticking one option doesn’t rule out the other. |
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"I wish it was there too just so I could block anybody asking for it, and anybody they've been with"
So being tested regularly and being negative with no STDs/stis but had done bareback would be blocked but those using condoms but have never tested but possibly passing on every sti/ std because the also are for oral and kissing and fingering wouldn't be...
Hmm logical |
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"This is a more sophisticated site and our health is number one priority.
C’mon!! Prep is safer than condoms for hiv and everything else is just as likely to be passed on from oral as vaginal/anal. Prep and regular testing is the way to go (unless you use condoms for oral) with condoms as a backup if you want to.
THIS, people, is how it is. There is NO way you are having "safe" sex if you don't use condoms for Oral. Oral gonnorhea and chlamydia are on the rise. "
Exactly... |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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Look at the profiles touting "safe sex only" and "block anyone who does bare" and all the pics will show unprotected cock and pussy sucking. You can't claim a holier than thou soapbox position preaching you only have "safe" sex while licking and ingesting pussy juice and precum.
We find the same "safe sex" couples (and singles) are the ones who get offended when we ask when their last test was and often say stuff like "we only bare with each other, we don't need tested". Major red-flag and instant high-heck to the no!
Whatever you call them; a condom, franger, rubber, penis hat, love glove, raincoat, or whatever were first and foremost a contraceptive. A side-effect is they are also fantastic at reducing STI transmission for some bugs but not all and definitely are not some magic shield of invincibility. If given the choice between play partners who are regularly tested, know their status, are particular about asking other's their status, and the play happens to be bare verses someone blindly on the "condoms = safe" train. We will choose the former. |
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By *tuluMan 45 weeks ago
The Side of the Mersey |
"Look at the profiles touting "safe sex only" and "block anyone who does bare" and all the pics will show unprotected cock and pussy sucking. You can't claim a holier than thou soapbox position preaching you only have "safe" sex while licking and ingesting pussy juice and precum.
We find the same "safe sex" couples (and singles) are the ones who get offended when we ask when their last test was and often say stuff like "we only bare with each other, we don't need tested". Major red-flag and instant high-heck to the no!
Whatever you call them; a condom, franger, rubber, penis hat, love glove, raincoat, or whatever were first and foremost a contraceptive. A side-effect is they are also fantastic at reducing STI transmission for some bugs but not all and definitely are not some magic shield of invincibility. If given the choice between play partners who are regularly tested, know their status, are particular about asking other's their status, and the play happens to be bare verses someone blindly on the "condoms = safe" train. We will choose the former."
Agree with this 100% |
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I think there should be a box for bareback both for the ones who like to do it and for the ones who would like to avoid them.
We are all ment to be mature adults on fab.so should be able to make informed choices.
That said it has been many mentioned that it relies on honesty  |
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By *ucka39Man 43 weeks ago
Newcastle |
"I think there should be a box for bareback both for the ones who like to do it and for the ones who would like to avoid them.
We are all ment to be mature adults on fab.so should be able to make informed choices.
That said it has been many mentioned that it relies on honesty "
Not picking the safe sex option is bareback pretty simple to understand  |
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"Not picking the safe sex option is bareback pretty simple to understand "
You can't search for what people haven't ticked.
Let people who want to bareback find each other - and those who avoid barebackers will have an easier time filtering them out. |
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"Look at the profiles touting "safe sex only" and "block anyone who does bare" and all the pics will show unprotected cock and pussy sucking. You can't claim a holier than thou soapbox position preaching you only have "safe" sex while licking and ingesting pussy juice and precum.
We find the same "safe sex" couples (and singles) are the ones who get offended when we ask when their last test was and often say stuff like "we only bare with each other, we don't need tested". Major red-flag and instant high-heck to the no!
Whatever you call them; a condom, franger, rubber, penis hat, love glove, raincoat, or whatever were first and foremost a contraceptive. A side-effect is they are also fantastic at reducing STI transmission for some bugs but not all and definitely are not some magic shield of invincibility. If given the choice between play partners who are regularly tested, know their status, are particular about asking other's their status, and the play happens to be bare verses someone blindly on the "condoms = safe" train. We will choose the former."
How do you know what they say about their last test date/status is true? |
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By *tuluMan 43 weeks ago
The Side of the Mersey |
"Not picking the safe sex option is bareback pretty simple to understand
You can't search for what people haven't ticked.
Let people who want to bareback find each other - and those who avoid barebackers will have an easier time filtering them out."
If there was a bareback option, you would easily be able to filter out people who have ticked bareback if that’s something that bothers you. So it works for those who are seeking it and those who want to avoid it. |
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As a couple we have been playing bareback for years and love it ! So do the people we play with ! we test ourselves on an ad hoc basis taking into consideration how active we have been and the time interval. The only issue we have ever had was from oral sex ! |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"...We will choose the former.
How do you know what they say about their last test date/status is true?"
By asking and being totally upfront and blunt about it. We can show our latest test date and results via received text messages or some other means, and so has everyone we've ever asked about it. Does not change "condom = safe" is an oxymoron.
You can pass chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis between two pussies by fingers - no cock needed covered or not. Syphilis can infect the person doing the fingering by the nailbed, cuticle, or any break in the skin on a finger/hand. |
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While it's not for everybody I do think there should be the option for bareback on the likes list. People shouldn't be judged for the things they enjoy. I thought the world was all about inclusivity? Lol |
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"Look at the profiles touting "safe sex only" and "block anyone who does bare" and all the pics will show unprotected cock and pussy sucking. You can't claim a holier than thou soapbox position preaching you only have "safe" sex while licking and ingesting pussy juice and precum.
We find the same "safe sex" couples (and singles) are the ones who get offended when we ask when their last test was and often say stuff like "we only bare with each other, we don't need tested". Major red-flag and instant high-heck to the no!
Whatever you call them; a condom, franger, rubber, penis hat, love glove, raincoat, or whatever were first and foremost a contraceptive. A side-effect is they are also fantastic at reducing STI transmission for some bugs but not all and definitely are not some magic shield of invincibility. If given the choice between play partners who are regularly tested, know their status, are particular about asking other's their status, and the play happens to be bare verses someone blindly on the "condoms = safe" train. We will choose the former."
Was chatting to a couple who were looking for a bi-curious male to join them.
Everything was going great, conversation flowing, they stated they preferred Bareback
I asked when they where last tested... as I had at the time just received my clear results.
He told me to fuck off, that information wasn't my concern.
Lucky escape I think |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"Was chatting to a couple who were looking for a bi-curious male to join them.
Everything was going great, conversation flowing, they stated they preferred Bareback
I asked when they where last tested... as I had at the time just received my clear results.
He told me to fuck off, that information wasn't my concern.
Lucky escape I think"
Oh WOW!!!! 
The sexual health of everyone involved is the concern of everyone involved. We do not go near anyone who is even slightly hesitant to disclose how they look after themselves.
Knowledge is power and "safe sex" should be updated to something like "penetration with condoms" and adding "penetration without condoms".  |
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Repeat after me:
1. Prep is safer than condoms for HIV
2. Sucking cock has the same risk for other STDs as unprotected vaginal/oral.
3. If you rely on safer sex you have to wear a condom for oral
4. If you don’t, then regular testing is a must if you play around. I have a full health screen monthly. You can do it by post.
Feel free to pvt if you have any questions! |
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