FabSwingers.com > Forums > Fabswingers.com site feedback > BDSM friendly sub forum
BDSM friendly sub forum
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
while this is ultimately a swinger site the bridging of the gap between BDSM and swinging is happeneing and while extremist against BDSM are present, it would be nice to have a BDSM support subforum, for us who bridge both scenes to share info and experiences without resorting to the lounge, where those with no interest, troll the threads..
it worked for the politics forum and it would be nice not to have to direct them off site for the support and education, some of us would like to impart.
please think about it FAB. x |
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By *aisyDDWoman
over a year ago
North West |
I support this as well. The lack of understanding on the subject did cause me to leave for a few months x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me too as we've just spoke OP on the other forum |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"while this is ultimately a swinger site the bridging of the gap between BDSM and swinging is happeneing and while extremist against BDSM are present, it would be nice to have a BDSM support subforum, for us who bridge both scenes to share info and experiences without resorting to the lounge, where those with no interest, troll the threads..
it worked for the politics forum and it would be nice not to have to direct them off site for the support and education, some of us would like to impart.
please think about it FAB. x"
We definitely agree, we are more into BDSM than anything else, it would be nice to have an actual forum for it. |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
thankyou everyone.. the idea is that we show large support for what is now a valid interest, within the swinging scene xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If anyone is from the north east and would like a chat about as I'm new to it  |
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
Definitely support this . This is a subject my wife and I play with sometimes and it would be nice to talk to others with more experience without the judgemental opinions of those not involved. |
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I think it's a good idea. It can be a bit intimidating for swingers to ask questions on a BDSM forum as I know from experience, although there is quite a crossover, BDSM purists definitely look down on swingers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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*hands up* I support.  |
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By *ara CCouple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
As a professional Domme Im all for it, lol. |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
agreed a s&m forum would be good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aye |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great idea  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would like this!
Good idea. |
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Bring it on fab listen to your users |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great idea. Whole heartedly support this. |
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By *aisyDDWoman
over a year ago
North West |
"I'm all for this, sometimes I want to raise a question in an open forum setting, but I know the reaction that I'm going to get from those who are against (for the want of a better word) BDSM.
It would be nice to be able to chat about stuff, without offending people "
Oh Kinky Butler I'd love you to put me through my paces  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not something I've ventured into yet but if people feel that a safe(r) space away from the main crowd is needed to help people with questions and queries then I'm all for it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we would definitely use a bdsm forum - great idea, m x |
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Totally agree OP. Hope it happens x |
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I think many of us are on another popular site that caters for bdsm but the functionality etc on fab is so much better it really would be good to forum to chat more openly on here about it with like minded people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes we'd support this. |
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By *bs37Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
You've got my support to!!  |
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By *gcw2014Couple
over a year ago
just outside of liverpool |
You have our support not easy being a submissive male |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I'm with you on this Suzy. Not that I'm into it atm but it is something that I may become interested in at some point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd support that, although it's not something that particularly interests me.
One note of caution though I'd say - newbies are often shot down for asking questions on bdsm related topics on the existing boards, by people who think they know it all, "if you were x you wouldn't need to ask, etc."
If it went the way of the politics forum, there'd be a danger of the curious or tentative being turned off in the face of unhelpful responses by a small band of self-proclaimed experts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I'd support that, although it's not something that particularly interests me.
One note of caution though I'd say - newbies are often shot down for asking questions on bdsm related topics on the existing boards, by people who think they know it all, "if you were x you wouldn't need to ask, etc."
If it went the way of the politics forum, there'd be a danger of the curious or tentative being turned off in the face of unhelpful responses by a small band of self-proclaimed experts. "
i appreciate that concern, however at the moment its felt that noone can offer or share or ask, and the members here are astute, they know wannabes when they see them..it would be great to just have a platform out of the main forums to have a chance of evolving into something worth while x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd support that, although it's not something that particularly interests me.
One note of caution though I'd say - newbies are often shot down for asking questions on bdsm related topics on the existing boards, by people who think they know it all, "if you were x you wouldn't need to ask, etc."
If it went the way of the politics forum, there'd be a danger of the curious or tentative being turned off in the face of unhelpful responses by a small band of self-proclaimed experts. i appreciate that concern, however at the moment its felt that noone can offer or share or ask, and the members here are astute, they know wannabes when they see them..it would be great to just have a platform out of the main forums to have a chance of evolving into something worth while x"
Ok cool. I didn't mean you by the way.
I've felt that I couldn't ask a question before because I'm not a "proper" sub. At times there seems almost disapproval, mockery or looking down on people who want to just add elements of techniques to their sex life, or play at it, without going the whole hog. If a space for such questions could exist alongside discussions by more "serious" bdsm practitioners, I'd be all for that. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Gets my support, can appreciate the, albeit indirect, links between swinging and BDSM and am all for anything that can help bridge the gap between the two. |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I'd support that, although it's not something that particularly interests me.
One note of caution though I'd say - newbies are often shot down for asking questions on bdsm related topics on the existing boards, by people who think they know it all, "if you were x you wouldn't need to ask, etc."
If it went the way of the politics forum, there'd be a danger of the curious or tentative being turned off in the face of unhelpful responses by a small band of self-proclaimed experts. i appreciate that concern, however at the moment its felt that noone can offer or share or ask, and the members here are astute, they know wannabes when they see them..it would be great to just have a platform out of the main forums to have a chance of evolving into something worth while x
Ok cool. I didn't mean you by the way.
I've felt that I couldn't ask a question before because I'm not a "proper" sub. At times there seems almost disapproval, mockery or looking down on people who want to just add elements of techniques to their sex life, or play at it, without going the whole hog. If a space for such questions could exist alongside discussions by more "serious" bdsm practitioners, I'd be all for that. "
thank you for sharing, its all about a safe space isn't it and being inclusive. its not about the 'me' its about listening to what someone else is asking for, and respecting that limit even in conversation.
good reminder not to get too passionate about the personal experience, but to make the whole thing more accessible and useful for others, to take away what they want/ need, from it. really good point..thank you. i heard you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would love to see a forum for bdsm |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
I would love this - a space where questions can be asked without too much judgement and advice can be sought regardless of what point you are at.
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
One note of caution though I'd say - newbies are often shot down for asking questions on bdsm related topics on the existing boards, by people who think they know it all, "if you were x you wouldn't need to ask, etc."
"
I have no view about a new forum one way or the other, but have to agree with the above. Would a new forum make the people answering the questions more tolerant to new people asking for advice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really see the point. If I have a question about BDSM is rather go to a BDSM site to ask it where people are more likely to be knowledgeable about specialist subjects. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
My fat fingers had an accident with another thread, it has been started again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
One note of caution though I'd say - newbies are often shot down for asking questions on bdsm related topics on the existing boards, by people who think they know it all, "if you were x you wouldn't need to ask, etc."
I have no view about a new forum one way or the other, but have to agree with the above. Would a new forum make the people answering the questions more tolerant to new people asking for advice."
If it's anything like the politics forum I'd think not, I find since that's moved out of The Lounge it's gone hardcore.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"while this is ultimately a swinger site the bridging of the gap between BDSM and swinging is happeneing and while extremist against BDSM are present, it would be nice to have a BDSM support subforum, for us who bridge both scenes to share info and experiences without resorting to the lounge, where those with no interest, troll the threads..
it worked for the politics forum and it would be nice not to have to direct them off site for the support and education, some of us would like to impart.
please think about it FAB. x"
Well done OP for your post.
From someone from another scene under the banner of Fab the Trans scene has its own fair share of bitter trolls attacking us and hijacking forums to try and cause friction.
Clearly there is a lot support for your scene looking at posts here...but how could it be policed to block the trolls from posting openly ? |
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"
One note of caution though I'd say - newbies are often shot down for asking questions on bdsm related topics on the existing boards, by people who think they know it all, "if you were x you wouldn't need to ask, etc."
I have no view about a new forum one way or the other, but have to agree with the above. Would a new forum make the people answering the questions more tolerant to new people asking for advice.
If it's anything like the politics forum I'd think not, I find since that's moved out of The Lounge it's gone hardcore.
"
I don't think the comparison is fair.
I think the politics sub forum was started to give people a space to debate.
While that forum can get a tad "shouty" it serves its purpose in that you can participate or not.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
One note of caution though I'd say - newbies are often shot down for asking questions on bdsm related topics on the existing boards, by people who think they know it all, "if you were x you wouldn't need to ask, etc."
I have no view about a new forum one way or the other, but have to agree with the above. Would a new forum make the people answering the questions more tolerant to new people asking for advice.
If it's anything like the politics forum I'd think not, I find since that's moved out of The Lounge it's gone hardcore.
I don't think the comparison is fair.
I think the politics sub forum was started to give people a space to debate.
While that forum can get a tad "shouty" it serves its purpose in that you can participate or not.
"
All the forums serve that purpose to participate or not but sometimes taking a topic out of the Lounge / Swingers Chat and making it a sub forum can make it feel a little exclusive, for want of a better word.
Either that or they don't see much usage like the London one for example. |
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"
One note of caution though I'd say - newbies are often shot down for asking questions on bdsm related topics on the existing boards, by people who think they know it all, "if you were x you wouldn't need to ask, etc."
I have no view about a new forum one way or the other, but have to agree with the above. Would a new forum make the people answering the questions more tolerant to new people asking for advice.
If it's anything like the politics forum I'd think not, I find since that's moved out of The Lounge it's gone hardcore.
I don't think the comparison is fair.
I think the politics sub forum was started to give people a space to debate.
While that forum can get a tad "shouty" it serves its purpose in that you can participate or not.
All the forums serve that purpose to participate or not but sometimes taking a topic out of the Lounge / Swingers Chat and making it a sub forum can make it feel a little exclusive, for want of a better word.
Either that or they don't see much usage like the London one for example."
I see your point but I think it very much depends on the participants and their behaviour.
The politics one can be quite polarised but I think a BDSM one could be very supportive. (Suzy is leading a great thread in the lounge tonight for example).
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By *azbabeWoman
over a year ago
Lutterworth |
I have been on the fetish/BDSM 'scene' for about 7 years now, I am on other sites for that particular thing, but I also get asked a lot of questions both on here and when at Liberty Elite. Some are nervous about asking so I think it would be a great idea! ;0) |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"
One note of caution though I'd say - newbies are often shot down for asking questions on bdsm related topics on the existing boards, by people who think they know it all, "if you were x you wouldn't need to ask, etc."
I have no view about a new forum one way or the other, but have to agree with the above. Would a new forum make the people answering the questions more tolerant to new people asking for advice.
If it's anything like the politics forum I'd think not, I find since that's moved out of The Lounge it's gone hardcore.
I don't think the comparison is fair.
I think the politics sub forum was started to give people a space to debate.
While that forum can get a tad "shouty" it serves its purpose in that you can participate or not.
"
the point was out of popular demand a sub forum for politics was created and another could be for BDSM
those not interested in politics dont have to go there same with those that feel BDSM is not for them
however there is a space that it seems is well utilised by those that are. i am suggesting Kink and BDSM could be given its own space as the number of those interested is large and growing. i dont see the point of telling people to go elsewhere, the people are here, lets keep them here, its good site sense x
x
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"
One note of caution though I'd say - newbies are often shot down for asking questions on bdsm related topics on the existing boards, by people who think they know it all, "if you were x you wouldn't need to ask, etc."
I have no view about a new forum one way or the other, but have to agree with the above. Would a new forum make the people answering the questions more tolerant to new people asking for advice.
If it's anything like the politics forum I'd think not, I find since that's moved out of The Lounge it's gone hardcore.
I don't think the comparison is fair.
I think the politics sub forum was started to give people a space to debate.
While that forum can get a tad "shouty" it serves its purpose in that you can participate or not.
All the forums serve that purpose to participate or not but sometimes taking a topic out of the Lounge / Swingers Chat and making it a sub forum can make it feel a little exclusive, for want of a better word.
Either that or they don't see much usage like the London one for example.
I see your point but I think it very much depends on the participants and their behaviour.
The politics one can be quite polarised but I think a BDSM one could be very supportive. (Suzy is leading a great thread in the lounge tonight for example).
"
if the site members value the space they will support the vibe of the space..some people obviously want this space, i think they should be trusted to nurture and evolve it..same rules of fab apply to trolls, taboos etc, not asking for anything different x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If there's any femme dommes who would be up for a chat let me know I'd like to get their perspective on bdsm as I'm a newbie (don't judge lol) will be very much appreciated please pm me |
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" I see your point but I think it very much depends on the participants and their behaviour.
The politics one can be quite polarised but I think a BDSM one could be very supportive. (Suzy is leading a great thread in the lounge tonight for example).
if the site members value the space they will support the vibe of the space..some people obviously want this space, i think they should be trusted to nurture and evolve it..same rules of fab apply to trolls, taboos etc, not asking for anything different x"
Exactly, and I (Jam) would be happy to try and help in anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a great idea. As a Dom couple we have a lot of issues finding sub's, specifically bi females. A lot of people are scared by the idea and it would be nice to be on the site where everyone is understanding to make it essier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes ..at last !! Please a bdsm forum |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sticks n stones may break my bones
But whips n chains excite me
Enuff sed we need a forum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have my support great stuff x |
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Great idea. The number of kink threads tonight show how much this is needed |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
Great idea. As someone beginning to explore this scene more, I would definitely benefit from such a forum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've mentioned the idea to mods a few times but alas no results x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would support it too |
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"I'd support that, although it's not something that particularly interests me.
One note of caution though I'd say - newbies are often shot down for asking questions on bdsm related topics on the existing boards, by people who think they know it all, "if you were x you wouldn't need to ask, etc."
If it went the way of the politics forum, there'd be a danger of the curious or tentative being turned off in the face of unhelpful responses by a small band of self-proclaimed experts. "
But if the newby saw the dim dom getting shot down for their stupid remarks wouldn't that be better?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd support that, although it's not something that particularly interests me.
One note of caution though I'd say - newbies are often shot down for asking questions on bdsm related topics on the existing boards, by people who think they know it all, "if you were x you wouldn't need to ask, etc."
If it went the way of the politics forum, there'd be a danger of the curious or tentative being turned off in the face of unhelpful responses by a small band of self-proclaimed experts.
But if the newby saw the dim dom getting shot down for their stupid remarks wouldn't that be better?
"
Who is allowed to define who a 'dim dom' is? |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I've mentioned the idea to mods a few times but alas no results x"
Mods can't implement it |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
bump x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes let's keep this going.
"
Your pics are amazing |
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I could be very wrong here, but I wouldn't hold your breath OP, given fab doesn't even allow for D/s to be listed as an interest. To me it just screams that they have no interest or knowledge of what this stuff entails. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We would be very interested in this , it's a great idea . |
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I agree hun this is sooo needed! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like a good idea
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Very sensible and considered request.
Got my vote |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"while this is ultimately a swinger site the bridging of the gap between BDSM and swinging is happeneing and while extremist against BDSM are present, it would be nice to have a BDSM support subforum, for us who bridge both scenes to share info and experiences without resorting to the lounge, where those with no interest, troll the threads..
it worked for the politics forum and it would be nice not to have to direct them off site for the support and education, some of us would like to impart.
please think about it FAB. x"
Full support and maybe a forum mod who understands a bit about BDSM so can follow discussion lines...instead of just banning, deleting etc... Just a thought Naughty (f) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great idea, might open peoples minds to it as they dont have to look at the forum posts if they dont want to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We'd be interested too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd love to know more from both perspectives as I'm new to the whole bdsm scene so please pm me if you are sub or domme much appreciated |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
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Full support and maybe a forum mod who understands a bit about BDSM so can follow discussion lines...instead of just banning, deleting etc... Just a thought Naughty (f)"
Another thought - big assumptions being made  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think this is an awesome idea aswell. ?? |
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Full support and maybe a forum mod who understands a bit about BDSM so can follow discussion lines...instead of just banning, deleting etc... Just a thought Naughty (f)
Another thought - big assumptions being made "
Not sure it's the mods, more likely fab guidelines on what's acceptable. Maybe the remit can be expanded where what's discussed is SSC |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is rather silly for fab to not acknowledge the crossover between the swinging and BDSM world's many clubs are aware and cater for the cross over so really a separate sub forum is not only a good idea but also good business/Internet practice acknowledging we exist |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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FWIW mods always seem to delete stuff referencing illegal activity - which more BDSM is. That means that specifics of most BDSM activities can't be discussed on this site, which makes a BDSM forum a little pointless.
To discuss BDSM activities that are illegal in the UK I'd imagine that the site hosting would need to be moved to a location (websites have physical locations on servers) where these discussions can happen, which would be expensive and difficult for the site owners to appease a minority of people - especially when there are already some great BDSM community websites which are setup to tall about this kind of thing. |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"FWIW mods always seem to delete stuff referencing illegal activity - which more BDSM is. That means that specifics of most BDSM activities can't be discussed on this site, which makes a BDSM forum a little pointless.
To discuss BDSM activities that are illegal in the UK I'd imagine that the site hosting would need to be moved to a location (websites have physical locations on servers) where these discussions can happen, which would be expensive and difficult for the site owners to appease a minority of people - especially when there are already some great BDSM community websites which are setup to tall about this kind of thing."
While a BDSM friendly subforum may not suit your types of activity. i am not talking a specialist place i am looking at the large number of people who bridge the gap between swinging and BDSM.whilst that may only suit those curious to the kinksters. i think its a worthwhile demographic to support and acknowledge x traditional fet lifestylers do not swing.there are swingers who do not do BDSM. its about catering for the middle of the venn diagram, where the two worlds are starting to meet and become integrated, those that do not mix it on either side, those people are catered for somewhere..its the crossover that isn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I last looked most things rope were not illegal. Nor discussion of the dynamics of a d/s relationship, nor impact that does not break skin or cause bruising or cause undue pain. D/S relationships do not necessarily involve the causing pain (although can be more fun) but can be done without it. I don't think discussions on what the best dressed dom is wearing is illegal either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think back to how when I first started out in this lifestyle ....I went on to a well known site and felt completely bewildered and subsequently left....I think as someone starting out and who is curious would probably certainly feel the same way...ok, that certain site does cater for the more specifics of bdsm but having a separate section on here I think would certainly be of use to the swingers who are curious or for those who do tend to look for those certain aspects of the swinging lifestyle.
Yes I understand it's not for all on here but then do as most and just go onto what threads you want to.
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This site is a business sooo
Dear Admin
Every time somebody leaves this site because it does not allow them after 50SOG etc to find out about enhancing their sex life with a bit of kinky stuff, there is a loss of interest in your site.
We think it would be a good idea through a sub forum for you to cater to this emerging market and would benefit your business.
Pretty please
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"This site is a business sooo
Dear Admin
Every time somebody leaves this site because it does not allow them after 50SOG etc to find out about enhancing their sex life with a bit of kinky stuff, there is a loss of interest in your site.
We think it would be a good idea through a sub forum for you to cater to this emerging market and would benefit your business.
Pretty please
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only thing I can see that would stop or rather prevent a bdsm section would be to find an appropriately experienced and knowledgeable moderator who could/would know the difference between many different terminology, prevent certain websites and other aspects of the scene.
Whilst there is a distinct and growing crossover between swinging and bdsm... we must remember that bdsm is a catch all for just about every fetish under the sun... some of which may be awfully upsetting to others.
X |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"The only thing I can see that would stop or rather prevent a bdsm section would be to find an appropriately experienced and knowledgeable moderator who could/would know the difference between many different terminology, prevent certain websites and other aspects of the scene.
X"
The mods on the forum would be more than capable to mod another forum section. If they were not sure of something they would do what they do now, ask another mod or Admin for advice. |
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Im a sub male and think a bdsm forum is a great idea, it helps people into similar things meet and chat much easier.
You mention pegging to some girls and they stop responding to you lol |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"The only thing I can see that would stop or rather prevent a bdsm section would be to find an appropriately experienced and knowledgeable moderator who could/would know the difference between many different terminology, prevent certain websites and other aspects of the scene.
X
The mods on the forum would be more than capable to mod another forum section. If they were not sure of something they would do what they do now, ask another mod or Admin for advice."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We would love to see this take place as we reguarly demo at clubs and events....
Maybe even have a listing for BDSM friendly nights at clubs for those that do like the crossover?
Just a thought 
Miss N x |
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"FWIW mods always seem to delete stuff referencing illegal activity - which more BDSM is. That means that specifics of most BDSM activities can't be discussed on this site, which makes a BDSM forum a little pointless.
To discuss BDSM activities that are illegal in the UK I'd imagine that the site hosting would need to be moved to a location (websites have physical locations on servers) where these discussions can happen, which would be expensive and difficult for the site owners to appease a minority of people - especially when there are already some great BDSM community websites which are setup to tall about this kind of thing. While a BDSM friendly subforum may not suit your types of activity. i am not talking a specialist place i am looking at the large number of people who bridge the gap between swinging and BDSM.whilst that may only suit those curious to the kinksters. i think its a worthwhile demographic to support and acknowledge x traditional fet lifestylers do not swing.there are swingers who do not do BDSM. its about catering for the middle of the venn diagram, where the two worlds are starting to meet and become integrated, those that do not mix it on either side, those people are catered for somewhere..its the crossover that isn't."
This. |
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As we are in a BDMS D/s relationship we would welcome this.
k |
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Sounds like a good idea
Be great if it can get off the ground.
As a practioner of mild to moderate BDSM it's a great opportunity to show how it can enhance certain scenes and meets when it's something that swingers want to try and experience.
Done properly combined with and the anticipation of the experience can really boost a relationship
and create a wonderful new chapter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to think we are clued up on the subject too but always open to new ideas and fantasys |
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We are also on other sites for this but would love to see it here also. |
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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago
Manchester Area |
Great Idea but I too fear that trolls will jump in..One thing that really dismays me about the site and the Forums is the oh too often judgemental responses ..whether its .safesex.. only or you are a cretin .....tranny weirdo..type posts ..
If people are on here then one assumes they are here to meet like minded people ? Ergo not here to attack or more correctly 'bully' others.
Suzy for President! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like a great idea! |
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Fully support the idea suzy, thank you for bringing it up! I feel the site could do with a bdsm update. Well we are on the subject _uzy444 do you know of any munches in the woodbridge area? Ive started working down here just on ceder grove for the next 18 months and was wondering if there was anything near by? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Brilliant idea count me in x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This will never happen  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The only thing I can see that would stop or rather prevent a bdsm section would be to find an appropriately experienced and knowledgeable moderator who could/would know the difference between many different terminology, prevent certain websites and other aspects of the scene.
X
The mods on the forum would be more than capable to mod another forum section. If they were not sure of something they would do what they do now, ask another mod or Admin for advice."
.
Over the years so many threads have been removed because they are deemed to fall foul of the forum rules. We have had spanking threads removed as they were classed as "abuse" we recently had a thread removed as it could be classed as non consensual. The problem is that nearly all bdsm subjects are very subjective and how one person perceives it is very different to the other. Without proper knowledge and understanding of a subject it can and will be seen in the wrong light.
There are very few bdsm subjects which could actually be openly discussed with being seen to fall foul of the form rules in some way.
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50 shades of grey book group
lol
Although that guy was actually pretty abusive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"50 shades of grey book group
lol
Although that guy was actually pretty abusive"
He's the one everyone warns you about when you enter into the fet community !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Completely agree but unless your only going to talk about about a sensual ticking with a horse hair flogger whilst someone stands with theirs arms by thier side and not restrained there not a lot more to talk about. Because once you talk about bondage your then into the realms of false imprisionment !! Domination your on to domestic abuse Sadism can be dangerous along with masochism so what does that leave ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not looking to be awkward or pick a argument but if a rule is used to stop people discussing one thing then if it applies to another subject then it should be implemented as well. Subjects should not just be removed because someone feels uncomfortable with its subject matter. If such form was to exist it would have to me moderated to a different set of rules to the rest of the forum for it to Serve any purpose. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree care needs to be exercised but with knowledgeable moderators, people who want to know more about edgier material can be suitably directed. Apart from last night's CNC question I have not seen anyone ask anything tricky in the last year. Even with last night's CNC question it was clearly about how to do something safely and consensually.
Let the dance with the devil in the pale moonlight start! |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I'm not looking to be awkward or pick a argument but if a rule is used to stop people discussing one thing then if it applies to another subject then it should be implemented as well. Subjects should not just be removed because someone feels uncomfortable with its subject matter. If such form was to exist it would have to me moderated to a different set of rules to the rest of the forum for it to Serve any purpose. "
ahh no it wouldnt . if this succeeed and isnt sabotaged by asking too much of the admin. Fab rules should and obviously will apply..those that do not like the topics, there is always someone who wants to take things further than the structure will allow, will be asked to go elsewhere or have the consequences of fab admin..this is a swingers site, bdsm would only be a small part of that intent..and people should bear that in mic, we are trying to attempt to build understanding and bridges here, not fight with others, with the structure, the way they run the site or what its stands for..respect...is paramount, to each other and to the motive behind the request...thankyou x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very interested in this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great idea. I'm more interested in fet than swing these days but so many fetish/bdsm/kinksters on other sites are snobs and purists and are not into the sex side of things.
Lots of us like a blend of both. It's like music genres blending. You don't have to be dance music or rock music purist. Being eclectic and open-minded is the way forward. Plus the kink scene is a good place for TVs too x |
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By *arthMan
over a year ago
Gravesend |
I'd definitely support it |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"The only thing I can see that would stop or rather prevent a bdsm section would be to find an appropriately experienced and knowledgeable moderator who could/would know the difference between many different terminology, prevent certain websites and other aspects of the scene.
Whilst there is a distinct and growing crossover between swinging and bdsm... we must remember that bdsm is a catch all for just about every fetish under the sun... some of which may be awfully upsetting to others.
X"
I'm pretty certain I recognise one moderators profile picture from not a current existing bdsm site but another one that no longer exists (RIP IC - yes I'm that old and been on the bdsm scene that long)
I think a bdsm forum is a cracking idea. All too often something is posted about bdsm only for people to comment *ew not for me* or some such other disapproval. It being in it's own space would mean that those that really don't want to know can easily avoid it!
(Although why anyone would want to avoid bdsm is beyond me) |
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By *ilberryMan
over a year ago
Scarborough |
"Great idea. I'm more interested in fet than swing these days but so many fetish/bdsm/kinksters on other sites are snobs and purists and are not into the sex side of things.
Lots of us like a blend of both. It's like music genres blending. You don't have to be dance music or rock music purist. Being eclectic and open-minded is the way forward. Plus the kink scene is a good place for TVs too x"
There is a real BDSM snobbery in this world? Great vanilla sex can include elements of real kinkiness from the BDSM genre, and there are many things to share and enjoy. I went to a 'munch' and they were lovely people living very vanilla lives. There are some activities or the more extreme side that maybe would not fit here? so off figging wheres the ginger root?  |
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The kink scene is a great place.I've been in it over 30 years.don't knock it if you don't know anything about it.its a friendly set up but you must abide by club rules.some dont which ruins things.I see no reason why it can't be discussed on here |
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I think this is a really great idea as people like myself do struggle to get the right advice and can be intimidated by the specialist sites that are out there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The only thing I can see that would stop or rather prevent a bdsm section would be to find an appropriately experienced and knowledgeable moderator who could/would know the difference between many different terminology, prevent certain websites and other aspects of the scene.
Whilst there is a distinct and growing crossover between swinging and bdsm... we must remember that bdsm is a catch all for just about every fetish under the sun... some of which may be awfully upsetting to others.
X
I'm pretty certain I recognise one moderators profile picture from not a current existing bdsm site but another one that no longer exists (RIP IC - yes I'm that old and been on the bdsm scene that long)
I think a bdsm forum is a cracking idea. All too often something is posted about bdsm only for people to comment *ew not for me* or some such other disapproval. It being in it's own space would mean that those that really don't want to know can easily avoid it!
(Although why anyone would want to avoid bdsm is beyond me)"
Be careful. I got a 24hr forum ban for mentioning that fabulous, unfortunately now defunct wedsite. It was a great kink resource and place for newbies as well as the more experienced to discuss and enquire about all things kink related. We certainly do miss it. |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
"The only thing I can see that would stop or rather prevent a bdsm section would be to find an appropriately experienced and knowledgeable moderator who could/would know the difference between many different terminology, prevent certain websites and other aspects of the scene.
Whilst there is a distinct and growing crossover between swinging and bdsm... we must remember that bdsm is a catch all for just about every fetish under the sun... some of which may be awfully upsetting to others.
X
I'm pretty certain I recognise one moderators profile picture from not a current existing bdsm site but another one that no longer exists (RIP IC - yes I'm that old and been on the bdsm scene that long)
I think a bdsm forum is a cracking idea. All too often something is posted about bdsm only for people to comment *ew not for me* or some such other disapproval. It being in it's own space would mean that those that really don't want to know can easily avoid it!
(Although why anyone would want to avoid bdsm is beyond me)
Be careful. I got a 24hr forum ban for mentioning that fabulous, unfortunately now defunct wedsite. It was a great kink resource and place for newbies as well as the more experienced to discuss and enquire about all things kink related. We certainly do miss it."
agree saddly the current fave fetish site is rapidley turning into an off shoot of porn hub baddly need a replacement for IC thats not just run as one mans vanity project to pick up teenage girls
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The only thing I can see that would stop or rather prevent a bdsm section would be to find an appropriately experienced and knowledgeable moderator who could/would know the difference between many different terminology, prevent certain websites and other aspects of the scene.
Whilst there is a distinct and growing crossover between swinging and bdsm... we must remember that bdsm is a catch all for just about every fetish under the sun... some of which may be awfully upsetting to others.
X
I'm pretty certain I recognise one moderators profile picture from not a current existing bdsm site but another one that no longer exists (RIP IC - yes I'm that old and been on the bdsm scene that long)
I think a bdsm forum is a cracking idea. All too often something is posted about bdsm only for people to comment *ew not for me* or some such other disapproval. It being in it's own space would mean that those that really don't want to know can easily avoid it!
(Although why anyone would want to avoid bdsm is beyond me)
Be careful. I got a 24hr forum ban for mentioning that fabulous, unfortunately now defunct wedsite. It was a great kink resource and place for newbies as well as the more experienced to discuss and enquire about all things kink related. We certainly do miss it.agree saddly the current fave fetish site is rapidley turning into an off shoot of porn hub baddly need a replacement for IC thats not just run as one mans vanity project to pick up teenage girls
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm all for this, sometimes I want to raise a question in an open forum setting, but I know the reaction that I'm going to get from those who are against (for the want of a better word) BDSM.
It would be nice to be able to chat about stuff, without offending people
Oh Kinky Butler I'd love you to put me through my paces "
I'd love to put you through your paces too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 06/01/17 12:13:00] |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Lets not keep posting about other sites please as it isn't allowed |
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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago
Manchester Area |
"Lets not keep posting about other sites please as it isn't allowed "
If it doesn't exist anymore surely its not actually mentioning a website .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lets not keep posting about other sites please as it isn't allowed "
Agree "rules is rules" but it would be very difficult to discuss the practice of bdsm without (if I will not be sued by JK Rowling's Lawyers) mentioning Voldemort, when it appears to be the no. 1 bdsm resource. It is not a direct competitor nor charges for access. It would be writing about fashion without referring to Vogue. I am sure Harpers Bazaar occasionally refers to Vogue. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Lets not keep posting about other sites please as it isn't allowed
If it doesn't exist anymore surely its not actually mentioning a website .. "
It wasn't a non existing site that was mentioned |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Lets not keep posting about other sites please as it isn't allowed
Agree "rules is rules" "
Exactly |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
"Lets not keep posting about other sites please as it isn't allowed
Agree "rules is rules" but it would be very difficult to discuss the practice of bdsm without (if I will not be sued by JK Rowling's Lawyers) mentioning Voldemort, when it appears to be the no. 1 bdsm resource. It is not a direct competitor nor charges for access. It would be writing about fashion without referring to Vogue. I am sure Harpers Bazaar occasionally refers to Vogue."
afriad it does charge for anything above the most basic access just like here so in theory is a competitior |
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Agree with op on BDSM forum......I'm just trying to find a couple/female who would be happy to have me in bondage's!!
Not an easy task. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely agree with this
Kinky |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Brilliant idea |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
thank you for all your support. i thought it would be a popular suggestion. on and off being online for next few days, by then maybe 'we' would have had some response from admin x fingers crossed x
and please don't break FAB rules on this thread ..i appreciate the restraint (see what i did there) xx |
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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago
Manchester Area |
"thank you for all your support. i thought it would be a popular suggestion. on and off being online for next few days, by then maybe 'we' would have had some response from admin x fingers crossed x
and please don't break FAB rules on this thread ..i appreciate the restraint (see what i did there) xx"
Very clever you dont want to get yourself all tied up over things do you? |
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By *esusWeptMan
over a year ago
Rising Son, God's own County |
"while this is ultimately a swinger site the bridging of the gap between BDSM and swinging is happeneing and while extremist against BDSM are present, it would be nice to have a BDSM support subforum, for us who bridge both scenes to share info and experiences without resorting to the lounge, where those with no interest, troll the threads..
it worked for the politics forum and it would be nice not to have to direct them off site for the support and education, some of us would like to impart.
please think about it FAB. x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So how long does it take for fab to consider a suggestion... any feedback yet? |
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"while this is ultimately a swinger site the bridging of the gap between BDSM and swinging is happeneing and while extremist against BDSM are present, it would be nice to have a BDSM support subforum, for us who bridge both scenes to share info and experiences without resorting to the lounge, where those with no interest, troll the threads..
it worked for the politics forum and it would be nice not to have to direct them off site for the support and education, some of us would like to impart.
please think about it FAB. x "
I know up here when swingers have crossed over into the bdsm side of things they were warmly welcomed by all the kinksters so what difference is it going the other way |
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By *ngman70Man
over a year ago
Between Christcrch and New Forest |
Totally think this is a good idea. There are limited preferences to select on profile for a very diverse area. A for where people of like mind can communicate would be ideal. This also means that others with a pure vanilla lifestyle can avoid what they have no interest in more easily. It'll also help the undecided or curios to gently enter a new world or discover it's not for them. |
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I wish I could find a dom couples near me ! |
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By *om69BoCouple
over a year ago
Weston super mare |
We're in.
Looking in to going to a few club nights, so it would be good to have a room of people who could let us now the best clubs/nights to go |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely!
That popular fet site is atrocious to try and navigate round and as many have said there is a massive snobbery amongst the knowledgeable -as a noob I've been shot down in flames a few times and gone back into hiding with my tail between my legs.
My kink status is a complicated mix of many, I like to not be set but flow wherever things take me, with a kinky ongoing tussle and mental battle for control -switch would probably be closest most encompassing but feel as though I'm severely frowned upon for not being a set role.
To have some normals and first timers discussing here with beginner friendly more experienced folk advising would be a great bridge to the dark side (plus a few kinky meets might arise -perhaps experienced who are tolerant of newcomers to show ropes). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thought this would have been suggested long ago.
Excellent idea. |
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By *uzy444 OP Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
just a catch up, i have sent the link to this thread to admin directly, so they can see the proposal and the support it has received from the site. i have asked for a response and hope to hear from them..i shall update you lovelies if i receive any form of feedback.
thank you for your continued support xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just a catch up, i have sent the link to this thread to admin directly, so they can see the proposal and the support it has received from the site. i have asked for a response and hope to hear from them..i shall update you lovelies if i receive any form of feedback.
thank you for your continued support xx"
fingers crossed Suzy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm all in favour of that. |
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"Definitely!
That popular fet site is atrocious to try and navigate round and as many have said there is a massive snobbery amongst the knowledgeable -as a noob I've been shot down in flames a few times and gone back into hiding with my tail between my legs.
My kink status is a complicated mix of many, I like to not be set but flow wherever things take me, with a kinky ongoing tussle and mental battle for control -switch would probably be closest most encompassing but feel as though I'm severely frowned upon for not being a set role.
To have some normals and first timers discussing here with beginner friendly more experienced folk advising would be a great bridge to the dark side (plus a few kinky meets might arise -perhaps experienced who are tolerant of newcomers to show ropes)."
I wouldn't say massive snobbery.yes there is some.but you find that In all walks of life.hey I'm part of fet and I'm no snob .if you go to a local munch they usually meet and greet you.a new one started up in the n east just om wednesday.they treated everyone who went equally well.there you get to know the real people involved.I have found the odd few kinksters on here but it is tricky as many are just fantasists who have little or no idea.I've been on fet nearly 10 years and have been in the scene a lot longer .sadly we lost all our clubs but a new one has just started up. but you have to make contact with people on that site first .they usually like to see you at a munch first .get your face seen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's a great idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree. I'd love to explore my sub side and having somewhere dedicated to BDSM on Fab would be great. |
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"while this is ultimately a swinger site the bridging of the gap between BDSM and swinging is happeneing and while extremist against BDSM are present, it would be nice to have a BDSM support subforum, for us who bridge both scenes to share info and experiences without resorting to the lounge, where those with no interest, troll the threads..
it worked for the politics forum and it would be nice not to have to direct them off site for the support and education, some of us would like to impart.
please think about it FAB. x"
Oh I would love this
Oh please think about it FAB
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dear fab owners,
Please let us have a bdsm forum section, we promise to keep things kinky, give and provide constructive advice and guidance and make sure that the values of bdsm and swinging are upholded and that the wisdom of our collective thinking is paramount.
We say to you we will value the diverse nature of your customers nay fellow friends and we hope that fab can equally be a most liberal of websites where adult thought, thinking and discussion can be a betterment to all involved.
We promise (I mean the many) that our new bdsm forum shall be kinky, naughty yet welcoming to persons who are new to the world and that full respect and fairness shall be given at all times.
Nice and kinky xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although I am in support of a separate bdsm forum section I have reached the view and agree with an earlier contributor that unfortunately a bdsm section would be too much for Fab. As an earlier contributor mentioned it would be hard to keep topics on the straight and narrow and in the current climate Fab would not want to risk being penalised. A topic today on an "edgy" subject received the "this encourages abuse" and "I don't like this" comments. It has now appears to have been removed.
I hope we get a section but I think it is unlikely. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
To be fair, that thread was something that is against forum rules anyway |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *andk1Couple
over a year ago
Warrington |
We would love this.
We are very D/s and have been to cap and club anti Christ. We find that fet events at swingers clubs are not hard enough and just playing slapsie with no actual sex. Where as swinger clubs don't give enough of the dynamic we crave.
For me the most important part of the D/s relationship is the mental and trust element.
We've not found anyone truly into the sex and BDSM side who's had the confidence to revel in the experience.
Maybe I'm too in control in the situation which makes people too nervous as it can be a big ask to really let go.
We love the sex part and I've found that this is frowned upon in the fet world |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would be great to hear what others like and share experiences, ,, I like watching bdsm, ,, bound gangbangs, , and tieing up a woman to have her as my play thing is my bag all day long, , and all night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's a good idea. I'd like it to happen. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
We completely support this idea. We don't always play bdsm, as some of our meets are vanilla, but it would be great to discuss and read other people's experiences and ideas. We are in. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We would love this.
We are very D/s and have been to cap and club anti Christ. We find that fet events at swingers clubs are not hard enough and just playing slapsie with no actual sex. Where as swinger clubs don't give enough of the dynamic we crave.
For me the most important part of the D/s relationship is the mental and trust element.
We've not found anyone truly into the sex and BDSM side who's had the confidence to revel in the experience.
Maybe I'm too in control in the situation which makes people too nervous as it can be a big ask to really let go.
We love the sex part and I've found that this is frowned upon in the fet world "
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I would love this to happen too... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
If there are any domme women in the North West looking for sub guys please get in touch xxx |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
