FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > When messages are read and just ignored

When messages are read and just ignored

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

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By *ervent_fervourMan over a year ago

Halifax

It's the Wild West.

Got a can of beans?

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By *eatrice BadinageWoman over a year ago

In a Sparkly Dress

And receive disgusting abuse from a second message, no thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m bothered for all of a millisecond, then move on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And receive disgusting abuse from a second message, no thanks

This

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By *oodnitegirlWoman over a year ago

Yorkshire

"And receive disgusting abuse from a second message, no thanks

This

This x2

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No one owes you a response.

If you don't get one, assume it's a no thanks and move on.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple over a year ago

Cumbria

"And receive disgusting abuse from a second message, no thanks

This

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Site rules say its to be taken as a polite no thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And receive disgusting abuse from a second message, no thanks

Even if it’s a tongue in cheek message?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a guy I cba and replying to messages from other guys who have clearly not read what I’m looking for etc.

Can only imagine how it is for the women.

Actually I can kind of imagine as I once uploaded a pic with that female snapchat filter. Never had so many views and messages

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well if they read your message and looked at your profile then they considered you but you were not what they were looking for.

Better than being deleted without looking.

Love your hard man pic x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

Get over it. Would you have the time to respond to a hundred messages a day.

The more thought I put into a message the more I tend to get a reply but I understand the ladies simply don't have the time to respond to everyone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I once sent a tongue and cheek message to someone I saw had repeatedly viewed my profile and promptly got blocked.

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By *otsolittlesecretWoman over a year ago

prestatyn

"And receive disgusting abuse from a second message, no thanks

This

Soooo totally this.. Not worth the possible abuse back.

Site faqs state no reply or delete is polite no Thanks,. I'll stick to that

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By *oelDorianMan over a year ago

vanaheim

Honestly it says in the FAQ that they don’t have to respond if they are not interested. Also say for example you responded to a message with no thanks and you got abuse back would you enjoy it probably not. I’ve been in the other end of people’s abuse just for saying no thanks or for them looking at my profile part way through a message chain.

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By *ervent_fervourMan over a year ago

Halifax

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

Get over it. Would you have the time to respond to a hundred messages a day.

The more thought I put into a message the more I tend to get a reply but I understand the ladies simply don't have the time to respond to everyone."

I agree. Copy and paste thanks but no thanks really hurts the wrist.

No point getting an RSI.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

yeah I do like a good fuck off now and again

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By *anda and CatCouple over a year ago

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

I would take it as a polite Fuck off

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple over a year ago

Coventry

I understand the frustration but I don't think anyone should expect a reply from an unsolicited message or get upset about it. It may be a courtesy but no one should feel entitled to a strangers time and effort just because they have put some time and effort into an unsolicited message.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

I would take it as a polite Fuck off

.. so much better with words though .. cuts deeper

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By *bthreeCouple over a year ago

simouth

We dont respond to messages where the sender has clearly not read our profile. If they cant be bothered to read our profile why would we bother to respond?.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You can see the first line before opening the message so you know what the rest will say

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By *ensualgent38Man over a year ago

Edinburgh & London

"No one owes you a response.

If you don't get one, assume it's a no thanks and move on.

Completely agree. The reality is that lots of ladies and couples are inundated with messages and it’s unreasonable to expect them to reply to every one that doesn’t interest them.

No reply automatically means no thank you.

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By *anda and CatCouple over a year ago

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

I would take it as a polite Fuck off

.. so much better with words though .. cuts deeper

I'd say send us a message and we would give you that response, however, you can't because we know how to use filters.......

Having said that, from what we can see, if we were looking, you would get a response, but we're not, so fuck off ??

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By *e.coupleCouple over a year ago

Leicester

If a couple or single lady don't reply accept its a no thankyou do you know how many messages we get, you rude if you think otherwise especially with all the time wasting guys on this site

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By *iMarried2016Man over a year ago

Near you

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

Take it as a polite no thanks, block so you don’t forget and keep bothering them, delete and move on... slowly but surely you cut down those not interested and raise your chances of getting a contact with someone who does!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

If the profile doesn't match our choices we ignore.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And receive disgusting abuse from a second message, no thanks

This! Or an endless reasoning of why I should absolutely meet them despite saying no, asking why..

So many times I just want to write back the truth, which is that I simply not fancy the other person. They are not attractive enough. But the few times I did, I got terrible replies.

It’s a no win if you’re a woman here :p

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

After getting abuse from quite a few men after I replied politely “ I’m not interested”

I now block if I’m not interested - saves the hassle

Move on , there are plenty of other ladies that you might be their type

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whats the point? If you do you get another message asking why or worse. At some point you are going to have to not reply so why not with the first one that doesn't interest you.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman over a year ago

South

"And receive disgusting abuse from a second message, no thanks

This

This x2"

This x3

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By *ornycplnorfolkMan over a year ago

Norwich

Although nobody owes you a thing I just feel it’s common curtesy. If someone has put the time in to writing a decent mail it’s the least you could do.

If it’s a hi wanna fuck on then yes don’t bother.

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By *oelDorianMan over a year ago

vanaheim

"Although nobody owes you a thing I just feel it’s common curtesy. If someone has put the time in to writing a decent mail it’s the least you could do.

If it’s a hi wanna fuck on then yes don’t bother."

Single ladies and couples get hundreds of messages so they don’t have to time to respond to every message so if it isn’t responded to just accept that as a polite no thank you

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

"And receive disgusting abuse from a second message, no thanks

This

This x2

This x3"

This x4 (possibly x5 seeing as we're a pair)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some females and couples accounts do receive large volumes of mail, it's true but we've never received any abuse from anyone and we reply to 99% of our mail, even the FAF messages.

However, delete is a much clearer, unambiguous no ta, than read and no reply. On the forums alone where people say, they may read and leave to re-read later or for couples they read and leave for a partner to read, neither of these are a no and therein lies the ambiguity.

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By *rank speakerMan over a year ago

Worcester

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

Get over it. Would you have the time to respond to a hundred messages a day.

The more thought I put into a message the more I tend to get a reply but I understand the ladies simply don't have the time to respond to everyone."

This. It's a shame as I always try to send a decent message, but I know from experience as a couple on here the amount if stupid messages you get hence the need to delete or the girls would be overrun?

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By *ai24Man over a year ago

town

I try to be polite to messages regardless of who it is but admittedly it must be tough for woman receiving 100’s!

Plus this environment is very clinical at times I think.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you do respond when not intrested people assume its a green light for further chat so cruel to be kind is my motto

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The problem with being polite and saying 'No thanks' is that it opens you up not only to abuse but also to people messaging saying 'Why not?'

At the beginning I responded to most messages but after a while I stopped bothering. I just got tired of men not taking rejection gracefully.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you do respond when not intrested people assume its a green light for further chat so cruel to be

kind is my

motto"

You have a, super profile but having read it... Best pay the compliment here

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By *heIcebreakersCouple over a year ago

Cramlington

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

"
Nah....

Do you a deal - (and I'm aware I'm talking to the generic, single male who sends an unsolicited message here, not necessarily you...)

Read the flipping profile and you might get a response instead of instant block.

Our highlight of this weekend is the guy who copt and pasted a previous message, but missed out the last word and didn't notice....

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By *n With LifeCouple over a year ago

Hadley Wood

"No one owes you a response.

If you don't get one, assume it's a no thanks and move on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Still polite though ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And receive disgusting abuse from a second message, no thanks

This is exactly what happened to me today. Was so bad that one went to Admin

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We had this today a cpl looked at us an us them several times yet as soon as we sent a message Blocked by them lol

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By *ysonfuryMan over a year ago

Stockport

I appreciate a reply even if it's a thanks but no thanks, but understand couples and single ladies simply do not have the time to reply to every message they get

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By *omcat69Man over a year ago

Bournemouth

As a single guy, I get it. Couples and single women are overwhelmed by the sheer number of messages from us. They just don't have time to reply to them all.

We've just got to accept it as part of the game.

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By *omcat69Man over a year ago

Bournemouth

"We dont respond to messages where the sender has clearly not read our profile. If they cant be bothered to read our profile why would we bother to respond?."

Fair point.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thank you

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By *wistedeleganceCouple over a year ago

Worcester

We don't mind the read message ignorance response but will never ever be able to comprehend those that don't even open the messages to read them? What the hell is that all about??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

Welcome to fab...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And receive disgusting abuse from a second message, no thanks

This

For those people you can choose the block option, but assuming that everyone will be the same is not really fair, but that's just how i see it...

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

"And receive disgusting abuse from a second message, no thanks

This

For those people you can choose the block option, but assuming that everyone will be the same is not really fair, but that's just how i see it... "

How many times do you read the abuse before you learn there are ways to avoid it? I/we've been ridiculed for my wheelchair use/disability, both our body types used to abuse, my husband's virility and reasons for using Fab ridiculed, men saying they want to abuse me, smash my back doors in, throttle me, make (I think the word was force) me pregnant. Sorry, but unless the profile interests or we had other interactions eg on the forum, it's likely to be deleted.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can't say it bothers me if my message gets ignored to be fair, can be annoying if they don't even bother to open them, at least if they read it and then don't reply they checked you out first and decided you wasn't for them

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By *he Duke123Man over a year ago

min

Assholes in every gender tbh

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By *he Duke123Man over a year ago

min

Assholes in every gender tbh

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

"Can't say it bothers me if my message gets ignored to be fair, can be annoying if they don't even bother to open them, at least if they read it and then don't reply they checked you out first and decided you wasn't for them"

How do you know they didn't read or look at the profile? You can read then mark unread. You can browse in stealth mode and the first line of the message is displayed in the preview, which, if the message is short, means they don't even need to open it to read.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not sure why someone would read a message and then mark it as unread personally, not sure what there is to be gained from that but maybe that's just me, as for the message length on the very rare occasions I send a message it would be long enough that a preview wouldn't show most of the message

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

Lots of people mark unread, so they remember that message needs action, be that to reply or whatever else they see fit. The fact of the matter is that people have very good reasons for minimising the messaging on here to only those they specifically wish to interact with, due to the huge number of ignorant, rude and abusive people. And before you say "but I'm literally a Saint" - we don't know that. Each time we reply a polite no thanks, we open ourselves up to more abuse or constant nagging to meet or change our minds etc. Sorry, but if you had half the shite many of us get on here, then you'd understand. We started out willing to at least sending a reply but we soon learned our lesson.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't expect a reply back if someones not interested, there's people on here who must get hundreds of messages a day so they would never reply back to all of them, I would never say I'm a Saint, I don't pester the crap out of people but no one can know that and I wouldn't expect anyone to take my word for it either, what I'm saying is the impression an unread message gives is that the other party hasn't even given you a chance and that an unread message at least in my eyes is worse than if a message is read but not replayed to

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My standard is...

. If you cba reading my ranty profile.. youre so not worth my effort to reply.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

We go back to the aforementioned points about your message might have been read but then marked unread. I get that you don't understand this, but it is do-able and happens. The recipient does not know how you will take rejection until they formally reject, and so to avoid the abuse, pestering and general weirdness, many choose to just ignore or delete. Finally, it might be that the opening line, visible in preview, is en for them to decide and they don't want to read the rest. Also perfectly plausible and within people's rights.

If a stranger starts talking to you in the street, you have the very legitimate choice to ignore them and not reply. Why is it any different here?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We dont respond to messages where the sender has clearly not read our profile. If they cant be bothered to read our profile why would we bother to respond?."

This

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We can’t understand why we should be expected to respond to every message - especially if it’s clear that the sender has not taken the time to read ours. So therefore show respect to people who have disrespected you in the first place ?

For those people who have the opinion that you can always block people who send you an abusive second message - why is the onus on us to do that, again, especially if the person sending the first message could not be bothered to read our profile before sending their message? We just end up with a massive block list.

The school of thought that “I’ve sent a message to you so I should at least get a reply” is indicative of the entitled society we live in. People need to put their egos in the cupboard and put on their big person pants - not everybody is going to like what they see or read. We don’t always fit the bill for people we reach out to - you accept it and move on.

Even if you get a nice polite message and then send a polite response, very often that person will then regularly “badger” you with messages - in our experience this can then quickly descend into abuse. And then you have to be either very blunt, or use the block button.

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By *rs mischiefWoman over a year ago

Manchester

"And receive disgusting abuse from a second message, no thanks

This is why I just delete! You answer politely no thanks and get a myriad of abuse!

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By *wesomeLolaCouple over a year ago

Burnley

I despair.

I can see both sides of this. Abusing someone for a polite decline is unacceptable I agree, but IMHO this is something that should be reported and should result in a ban. But ignoring people is rude too. I fail to see why everyone can't treat everyone else with the same courtesy and respect that they would expect in real life. If you spoke to someone politely in person, asked them a question for example, would you EVER think it acceptable for them to just ignore you?

Fab is no different to most dating sites in this respect. It really is the wild west and survival of the fittest. I hate it.

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By *orace99Man over a year ago

York

I just see it's read and move on.

If I get a hi or whatever I attempt conversation and if nothing comes then it is what it is.

Probably had more conversations with men on here, despite it not being something I have tried or feel the need to, but I am civil and reply.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

"I despair.

Fab is no different to most dating sites in this respect. It really is the wild west and survival of the fittest. I hate it."

If someone randomly came up to you in the street and attempted conversion, especially if the opening line was something like "come mine now, fuck your slutty ass", would you say "my dear chap, so kind of you to offer, but I must politely decline your generous offer," or would you move swiftly on and pretend you didn't hear him?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

*conversation. Not conversion.

*Facepalm emoji*

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By *uicybbwWoman over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

When you get about 200 messages a day and half are from people you say on your profile that you aren’t sexually attracted to them imagine the time to reply to each message...

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By *ornsMan over a year ago

west Midlands

"I despair.

Fab is no different to most dating sites in this respect. It really is the wild west and survival of the fittest. I hate it.

Ahh but in context, if your were in a swingers clubs where most if not all are on the 'prowl' some brave guys tries to seduce you, would you just blatantly blank him?

Understand your pain op, but thats how it is in here. Rightly or wrongly no one has to respond to anyone. Bit the bullet and move on....

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By *hav02Man over a year ago

Glasgow/London

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

It's worse when you've been texting each other an hour getting very very flirty, then send a face pic to then be blocked

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

"I despair.

Fab is no different to most dating sites in this respect. It really is the wild west and survival of the fittest. I hate it.

Ahh but in context, if your were in a swingers clubs where most if not all are on the 'prowl' some brave guys tries to seduce you, would you just blatantly blank him?

Understand your pain op, but thats how it is in here. Rightly or wrongly no one has to respond to anyone. Bit the bullet and move on...."

If I guy gave that line to me in a swingers club, and it was the first thing he said, he'd be lucky to leave with his dick still attached

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By *oelDorianMan over a year ago

vanaheim

"I despair.

Fab is no different to most dating sites in this respect. It really is the wild west and survival of the fittest. I hate it.

Ahh but in context, if your were in a swingers clubs where most if not all are on the 'prowl' some brave guys tries to seduce you, would you just blatantly blank him?

Understand your pain op, but thats how it is in here. Rightly or wrongly no one has to respond to anyone. Bit the bullet and move on....

If I guy gave that line to me in a swingers club, and it was the first thing he said, he'd be lucky to leave with his dick still attached

If someone came up to me in a club saying that as their opener I honestly would ignore them. As there has to be modicum of decorum when talking to people and some don’t go to clubs on the prowl some of us go to socialise and if something happens that’s a bonus. Talking on here is the same as in clubs don’t ever expect anything and who knows something might happen. If you stop expecting a meet or a response you would honestly enjoy yourself a bit more.

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By *wesomeLolaCouple over a year ago

Burnley

200 messages a day??!!

FFS we're doing something wrong. We probably get a new message from someone new every couple of weeks on average.

What's it like to have so much choice of people wanting you?

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By *irginieWoman over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I do ignore messages. I don’t get 200 a day either.

I just ignore because that’s what the site says I can do as a polite no thanks.

No other excuse needed.

V xx

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By *wesomeLolaCouple over a year ago

Burnley

"I do ignore messages. I don’t get 200 a day either.

I just ignore because that’s what the site says I can do as a polite no thanks.

No other excuse needed.

V xx"

Virginie, in that case I feel honoured that you ever replied a message from us. Perhaps that's because they were just friendly ones not wanting anything from you.

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By *ornLordMan over a year ago

Wiltshire and London

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

It's worse when you've been texting each other an hour getting very very flirty, then send a face pic to then be blocked

Well at least that’s only an hour - it can go on a lot longer than that.

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By *irginieWoman over a year ago

Near Marlborough

"I do ignore messages. I don’t get 200 a day either.

I just ignore because that’s what the site says I can do as a polite no thanks.

No other excuse needed.

V xx

Virginie, in that case I feel honoured that you ever replied a message from us. Perhaps that's because they were just friendly ones not wanting anything from you."

I think you’re right

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well Its a bit disappointing specially if you have got your self massively excited and whatnot , but I guess the profiles of the right existing people probably get a million messages daily ! Probably only have a limited amount of time for all the fuck offs ! Ha

Anyhow on the other hand I think I've only had maybe 3 messages all from blokes flattering but I'm not after chaps !! Well not on there own

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By *ostonJoeMan over a year ago

Boston

It's not a big deal to not get a reply. Send a message then delete it from the sent box and you will never know.

On the flip side, if you don't want to reply there is a one click response, delete or delete and block. Pretty simple.

Maybe middle of the road button which sends an automated "

nah ya a minga

" message, which doesn't block the sender but records on the database that you have previously attempted to contact this profile, who has declined to take contact any further.

If anyone is so sensitive that being ignored offends them, then I believe this is not the lifestyle choice for you, especially a single guy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you're a single guy that messages loads of people I would assume it's best to not look at your sent messages and see who deleted. Nobody is obligated to reply so you really shouldn't be checking to see if its read or not. If they're interested they will reply. Simple.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can understand why people get annoyed with not getting a reply even if its a no thanks. But for then said person to send abuse is ridiculous. As a single guy I get my fair share of non reply and knock backs, but I generally just reply no problem. Yes its a sex site but we all can't find everyone attractive so I just think people should grow up and just respect everyone's personal views.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I block people who message me and I'm not interested in.

I block profiles who appear on mobile and I'm not interested in.

Some profiles I message block me as their not interested.

The not reading thing is sometimes due to having hundreds and not having time or inclination to read.

I like blocking and being blocked. It cuts out the chaff.

Please feel free to block me now to save yourself a sarcastic message in the future.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And receive disgusting abuse from a second message, no thanks

This

Not always but definitely sometimes this

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By *ORDERMANMan over a year ago

wrexham

Obviously any sender of a personal message on here would like a reply.

Yes it is deemed good manners however being on here is not the real world and no one is obliged to reply...

As pointed out by hundreds in thesese similar threads , single women recieve 100s of messages .

End of the day it's no different to going dogging..you have no guarantee of finding a a couple playing...

You have no guarantee of recieving a reply..

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Take no current interest as translated in to whichever language you like.

Unsolicited, or otherwise, messages are not owed anything. If you start out with that attitude, it will likely come across as you feeling entitled and will probably repel people.

The easiest thing to do here is to set and manage your expectations. Do it so it helps you.

The next is to rwad and accept the site terms and conditions, especially regarding measures not getting replies.

You can change yourself but shouldn't expect to change others

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I send out polite messages only for them to be left unread for weeks on end , so now I just delete them & don’t contact them again , in the back of my mind I always think , why ? What’s wrong with me ? is there anything I can change ? I don’t want to hassle anyone as it’s not who I am .

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By *implynaughty1Couple over a year ago

stockport

One of are pet hates just rude

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By *oncupiscence73Woman over a year ago

South

I received 87 today .... Cock shots or blank pfps I don’t even open under 30 I don’t open. That leaves 45 today of those 19 were crude and contained cock shots nope... here I give up and return to forums.

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By *rgoodnbadMan over a year ago

greenock

Was on a cruise few years back and one of the ports we disembarked from was in a poor area. From the second I stepped ashore I was bombarded with offers of taxis, flyers and anything they had to sell, it was relentless as they followed me, surrounded me for about 100yds till I escaped into a bar, some following me in till the barman stepped in and basically shouted them out the door.

Now I'm wondering if that's how some of the girls on here feel like when overwhelmed with messages

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Was on a cruise few years back and one of the ports we disembarked from was in a poor area. From the second I stepped ashore I was bombarded with offers of taxis, flyers and anything they had to sell, it was relentless as they followed me, surrounded me for about 100yds till I escaped into a bar, some following me in till the barman stepped in and basically shouted them out the door.

Now I'm wondering if that's how some of the girls on here feel like when overwhelmed with messages

I see your point so shall I not bother I find it most annoying when they had read and never reply that’s annoying

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’d rather messages just be deleted and then left there read and not answered. It saves me the bother of deleting and blocking them two weeks later.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was going to post an interesting response - but decided to ignore this post....

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By *irty desireWoman over a year ago

newcatle

I do what a want.. not what anyone thinks a should do.. why would i open my self up for more abuse for saying no thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/09/20 13:54:37]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ithink if its obvious someone has actually read your profile and they have sent a decent message including face pictures then the least people can do is say no thanks its called good manners...treat others how you wish to be treated.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I do what a want.. not what anyone thinks a should do.. why would i open my self up for more abuse for saying no thanks"

I had this today, AGAIN. I'm going back to just deleting. Being nice just get you told to "go fuck yourself"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It mean no thanks take the hint

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By *JohnMan over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"Ithink if its obvious someone has actually read your profile and they have sent a decent message including face pictures then the least people can do is say no thanks its called good manners...treat others how you wish to be treated."

Why? What right do you, a complete stranger, have to impose any kind of obligation on them?

You are not owed anything. If you want a reply, earn it. Send them mail they want to reply to.

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By *rnaughtyMan over a year ago

Birmingham

Why? What right do you, a complete stranger, have to impose any kind of obligation on them?

You are not owed anything. If you want a reply, earn it. Send them mail they want to reply to."

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By *rnaughtyMan over a year ago

Birmingham

[Removed by poster at 03/09/20 16:24:22]

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By *rnaughtyMan over a year ago

Birmingham

Call me old fashioned but even when I swung with my ex for 10 years we always replied especially if its obvious our profile had been read... come on it takes seconds to say no thanks

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By *ebwizMan over a year ago

Clevedon

I always read and reply.its just good manners for a min of typing even if its a no,unless its just plain rude,then its a block.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman over a year ago

South

"Call me old fashioned but even when I swung with my ex for 10 years we always replied especially if its obvious our profile had been read... come on it takes seconds to say no thanks

So My time is limited on here do I spend that time saying thanks but no thanks to 80 odd people (which doesn’t take seconds) or persue the profiles that interest me?

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By *rnaughtyMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"Call me old fashioned but even when I swung with my ex for 10 years we always replied especially if its obvious our profile had been read... come on it takes seconds to say no thanks

So My time is limited on here do I spend that time saying thanks but no thanks to 80 odd people (which doesn’t take seconds) or persue the profiles that interest me? "

I'm just saying I agree with eyespy if someone has actually read your profile and written something decent rather than the typical do you want a shag, gone to the trouble of attaching a face pic to a profile thats asking for face pics even though they don't show them its good manners and polite to say no thanks as it takes 3 seconds of your time maximum.

At the end of the day as a single female i can understand that you get lots of messages but out of interest how many say more than how's your day or want a shag etc ?

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By *irty desireWoman over a year ago

newcatle

Well a guess a don’t have any manners!! Because again I say i will not open myself up to abuse.. which is the norm regardless for women on here!!

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By *oncupiscence73Woman over a year ago

South

[Removed by poster at 03/09/20 17:39:01]

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By *oncupiscence73Woman over a year ago

South

"Call me old fashioned but even when I swung with my ex for 10 years we always replied especially if its obvious our profile had been read... come on it takes seconds to say no thanks

So My time is limited on here do I spend that time saying thanks but no thanks to 80 odd people (which doesn’t take seconds) or persue the profiles that interest me?

At the end of the day as a single female i can understand that you get lots of messages but out of interest how many say more than how's your day or want a shag etc ?"

I’ve had 15 telling me explicitly how they would make me cum. ‘Oi big tits fancy a fuck’ being today’s knob award of the day. Various that say ‘hello’ or xxx

Aside from the ongoing conversations with people then I have 28 today. And seriously even if they’re all decent blokes I can’t meet 28 men a day. I do what I can when I have time. It’s the same for any woman on here the volume is just madness.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman over a year ago

South

"Well a guess a don’t have any manners!! Because again I say i will not open myself up to abuse.. which is the norm regardless for women on here!!

Yep just this... we are treated a lot like holes to be filled just because we are on here. Manners go two ways

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Agree there mate

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By *rnaughtyMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"Call me old fashioned but even when I swung with my ex for 10 years we always replied especially if its obvious our profile had been read... come on it takes seconds to say no thanks

So My time is limited on here do I spend that time saying thanks but no thanks to 80 odd people (which doesn’t take seconds) or persue the profiles that interest me?

At the end of the day as a single female i can understand that you get lots of messages but out of interest how many say more than how's your day or want a shag etc ?

I’ve had 15 telling me explicitly how they would make me cum. ‘Oi big tits fancy a fuck’ being today’s knob award of the day. Various that say ‘hello’ or xxx

And I agree messages like that don't deserve a reply but if you read what I wrote o meant the people who write decent messages deserve a reply.

Obviously I have a different perspective to you as I don't get bombarded with messages, im not calling you names at all so please don't take offence at anything I've said.

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By *irty desireWoman over a year ago

newcatle

I have had 184 messages today and of that only 3 met my requirements and even one of them was a copy and paste message as two of my female friends received the same message!

I tend not too moan about it as whats the point its never going to change!!

Lets not even get into friends request god we would take over the virus threads

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By *rnaughtyMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"I have had 184 messages today and of that only 3 met my requirements and even one of them was a copy and paste message as two of my female friends received the same message!

I tend not too moan about it as whats the point its never going to change!!

Lets not even get into friends request god we would take over the virus threads

You do have a good point as you single female's do get a huge amount of messages and there are alot of rude men out there who don't handle rejection well.

Please don't paint us all with the same brush though we're not all bad

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

(female) friend on here once showed me that she'd had 300+ messages in a day. So if I send a pm and it doesn't get a response I'm okay with it. There's only so many hours in a day.

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By *irty desireWoman over a year ago

newcatle

"I have had 184 messages today and of that only 3 met my requirements and even one of them was a copy and paste message as two of my female friends received the same message!

I tend not too moan about it as whats the point its never going to change!!

Lets not even get into friends request god we would take over the virus threads

You do have a good point as you single female's do get a huge amount of messages and there are alot of rude men out there who don't handle rejection well.

Please don't paint us all with the same brush though we're not all bad

I don’t and will always reply if it pricks my interests.. but men who moan about it aren’t worth my time.. sorry

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By *rnaughtyMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"I have had 184 messages today and of that only 3 met my requirements and even one of them was a copy and paste message as two of my female friends received the same message!

I tend not too moan about it as whats the point its never going to change!!

Lets not even get into friends request god we would take over the virus threads

You do have a good point as you single female's do get a huge amount of messages and there are alot of rude men out there who don't handle rejection well.

Please don't paint us all with the same brush though we're not all bad

I don’t and will always reply if it pricks my interests.. but men who moan about it aren’t worth my time.. sorry"

wouldn't call it moaning about it, someone asked a question and I gave my thoughts on the subject.

I've had my share of messages ignored and it's never particularly bothered me as I know us single men are low on the list especially someone like me in my fifties,i just take it on the chin I most definitely don't send abusive messages to those concerned.

I simply stated that when I was part a a couple on here for 10 years if someone sent us a decent message we always replied as we thought it was only polite but obviously we didn't get as many messages as single females.

Either way please don't take any of my comments personally

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By *irty desireWoman over a year ago

newcatle

"I have had 184 messages today and of that only 3 met my requirements and even one of them was a copy and paste message as two of my female friends received the same message!

I tend not too moan about it as whats the point its never going to change!!

Lets not even get into friends request god we would take over the virus threads

You do have a good point as you single female's do get a huge amount of messages and there are alot of rude men out there who don't handle rejection well.

Please don't paint us all with the same brush though we're not all bad

I don’t and will always reply if it pricks my interests.. but men who moan about it aren’t worth my time.. sorry

wouldn't call it moaning about it, someone asked a question and I gave my thoughts on the subject.

Either way please don't take any of my comments personally

Bu no means was my reply aimed at you was just replying too the thread.. sorry for crossed wires!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t like to be rude , I would rather be polite, i don’t like been straight to the point because I don’t want to come over as a dick head . I’m a lovely guy , yes I have Aspergers which is a mild learning disability & that’s why I like to be polite. I’m also a kidney transplant recipient (2009) & going strong . I will admit I have used escorts in the past & used protection every single time as to protect them & myself. I find sexual frustration difficult to handle as I’ve never been in a full on psychical relationship .

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By *rnaughtyMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"I have had 184 messages today and of that only 3 met my requirements and even one of them was a copy and paste message as two of my female friends received the same message!

I tend not too moan about it as whats the point its never going to change!!

Lets not even get into friends request god we would take over the virus threads

You do have a good point as you single female's do get a huge amount of messages and there are alot of rude men out there who don't handle rejection well.

Please don't paint us all with the same brush though we're not all bad

I don’t and will always reply if it pricks my interests.. but men who moan about it aren’t worth my time.. sorry

wouldn't call it moaning about it, someone asked a question and I gave my thoughts on the subject.

Either way please don't take any of my comments personally

Bu no means was my reply aimed at you was just replying too the thread.. sorry for crossed wires!

No problem ?? x

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By *ensual 2Couple over a year ago

Blackpool

"Site rules say its to be taken as a polite no thanks "

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"And receive disgusting abuse from a second message, no thanks

i second that... hate the aggro men get from being rejected

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I don’t like to be rude , I would rather be polite, i don’t like been straight to the point because I don’t want to come over as a dick head . I’m a lovely guy , yes I have Aspergers which is a mild learning disability & that’s why I like to be polite. I’m also a kidney transplant recipient (2009) & going strong . I will admit I have used escorts in the past & used protection every single time as to protect them & myself. I find sexual frustration difficult to handle as I’ve never been in a full on psychical relationship . "

try having a female profile for one day, you get tired so "no thanks" to every message day in and day out...

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Call me old fashioned but even when I swung with my ex for 10 years we always replied especially if its obvious our profile had been read... come on it takes seconds to say no thanks

times that by on average 100 messages a day, at least 1 minute to read them and reply "no thanks" which means out of my 14 hrs of being awake, I need to spend at least 1.5 hrs of my life saying no thanks... doesn't sound like an very productive and efficient use of my free time, don't you think? plus the finger ache of repetitive typing

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By *irginieWoman over a year ago

Near Marlborough

"I’d rather messages just be deleted and then left there read and not answered. It saves me the bother of deleting and blocking them two weeks later. "

I’m afraid I’m guilty of that too. I don’t even offer 100s of messages as an excuse. It’s what I do. I read, don’t read, sometimes reply.

V x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I reply to every spam I get on email. It’s polite after all!

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By *rnaughtyMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"Call me old fashioned but even when I swung with my ex for 10 years we always replied especially if its obvious our profile had been read... come on it takes seconds to say no thanks

You do have a very good point but i was only referring to the decent messages not the just wanna shag type of messages but point taken

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I tried the polite decline reply and its really not worth it.

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By *ickdasterdly51Man over a year ago

Lingfield

I get the fact that no response to a one off message is a polite no, what does piss me off is when people's status says anyone up for a horny chat or similar, I take the time to write a personalised message in response to their specific request and they ignore it. A one line thank you would be appreciated followed by a block if I've misunderstood their politeness. People who can't be bothered to acknowledge that I've taken time to personally respond to their request can go and do one! Rant over.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

One guy gets rude and we are all Labelled the same. Makes sense!

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By *lym4realCouple over a year ago

plymouth

We tried the "No thanks" and all we got was abuse ..accused of being to fussy ?? time wasters?? cock teaser ?? dreamers ? and far worse ?? now all we do is just block !! rightly or wrongly we have no idea to be honest ...

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By *lym4realCouple over a year ago

plymouth

[Removed by poster at 04/09/20 13:16:59]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If someone makes an effort with their first message, we will reply even if it’s to politely decline and wish them luck. If it’s a message that really doesn’t warrant our time or effort to reply then we won’t. If you can’t put in a bit of effort to try and get into our knickers then you definitely will not be getting in to said knickers....

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By *irty desireWoman over a year ago

newcatle

"One guy gets rude and we are all Labelled the same. Makes sense!"

Its not just one guy tho...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One guy gets rude and we are all Labelled the same. Makes sense!

Its not just one guy tho...

Oh granted theres more than one guy. They mess it all up for the rest of us. Surely getting a few hilarious shitty messages is worth it to find a decent guy eventually?

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By *nlylearningCouple over a year ago

Wirral

[Removed by poster at 04/09/20 13:50:44]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get over it People If your that fragile WHO’s really going to be interested in sending a message back.

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By *irty desireWoman over a year ago

newcatle

"Get over it People If your that fragile WHO’s really going to be interested in sending a message back. "

This

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

I got told to F off in the chat sessions felt like I belonged

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get the fact that no response to a one off message is a polite no, what does piss me off is when people's status says anyone up for a horny chat or similar, I take the time to write a personalised message in response to their specific request and they ignore it. A one line thank you would be appreciated followed by a block if I've misunderstood their politeness. People who can't be bothered to acknowledge that I've taken time to personally respond to their request can go and do one! Rant over.

Fair play

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fair play

"
most people ask to read and sent face picture and afterwards it's just pure ignorance and shalow people..deleted bulk accidentally deleted...bull lol just shalow people are they have is looks nothing else

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

read up to my reason for no reply to change your perceptive

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Call me old fashioned but even when I swung with my ex for 10 years we always replied especially if its obvious our profile had been read... come on it takes seconds to say no thanks

You do have a very good point but i was only referring to the decent messages not the just wanna shag type of messages but point taken

depends what who actually deemed as a "decent" message... i get many lengthy copy and paste messages which appears initially being "decent"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unfortunately on websites like this from a guys point of view you've got to remember that there are 95% men on here compared to 5% women the amount of messages that the women and the couples must receive is ridiculous the messages that they receive that haven't got any effort in them the messages that they receive where it says hello. The amount of times that people haven't replied back to me you just gotta get on with it stop bitching and just deal with it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

Hahaha id prefer a fuck off. I just don’t send them anymore

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By *ickdasterdly51Man over a year ago

Lingfield

read up to my reason for no reply to change your perceptive "

I don't have an issue with people not responding to unrequested messages wanting to meet even although I do find it frustrating to be ignored if I've spent time but they are house rules and so be it. If you get 100 unrequested messages a day then I wouldn't expect you to respond to them all. My grouse is with people who actively request messages or want to chat and then ignore you, that's just rude. Anyway, that's what the block button is for and I've more important things to worry about than rude people. Nice for you to be popular though, I'd be happy with one message a day!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Although nobody owes you a thing I just feel it’s common curtesy. If someone has put the time in to writing a decent mail it’s the least you could do.

If it’s a hi wanna fuck on then yes don’t bother."
I agree.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As a guy I cba and replying to messages from other guys who have clearly not read what I’m looking for etc.

Can only imagine how it is for the women.

Actually I can kind of imagine as I once uploaded a pic with that female snapchat filter. Never had so many views and messages

Same here. As a bi-curious male, but under specific circumstances, I got a lot of messages from men. I replied and edited my profile. But we have to take into account that all women on FAB get a shed load of messages daily. To expect a reply in the negative is asking a bit much.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's a great idea... Sick of clicking on someone and it saying... You messaged them 4 weeks ago??

I can barely remember 4 days ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would like to just say, as q guy on this site I used to think the same thing, at least tell me to "fuck off" when I got no responses from women. As a CD now I understood why women don't reply, iys simply the amount of message story must receive. I'm a Straight CD and it's not possible for me to reply to all the messages I receive, imagine how many messages women must receive!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We get a lot of copy and paste, uninspiring messages, our profile states that we don't answer anyone who's profile says straight. This is our reason for no replies, even if your not for us and you have read our profile, provided a face pic etc as we ask, then we reply with a polite message. Unless you message with just ' Hi' just wasting everyone's time otherwise x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, op I say not interested and get a load of abuse back. So.. Is saying anything necessary. After all so many fear rejection, then message back unpleasant comments.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes, op I say not interested and get a load of abuse back. So.. Is saying anything necessary. After all so many fear rejection, then message back unpleasant comments. "

We agree, we had a message from a straight guy once, a couple of years ago. Before we could reply, he sent another message saying 'just realised your hubby is a dirty gay, fuck off!' it boiled my blood! So I told him about himself, weirdly he didn't like it lol x

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By *pmsldCouple over a year ago

kettering

Another issue with replying is after the sender has deleted their messages and forgotten you, they look at the profile again x amount of time later, all they see is that both parties sent messages and they seem to think this meant we must have been chatting and message again so it's simply quicker and easier all round to just not reply.

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

Not saying anything is saying f..k off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

Not saying anything is saying f..k off

But saying nothing or saying no not interested gets me a barrage of abuse.

So... Its a no win situation. You say nothing or politely say not for me thank you and abuse comes right at me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes, op I say not interested and get a load of abuse back. So.. Is saying anything necessary. After all so many fear rejection, then message back unpleasant comments.

Sorry to hear that. I've saved my vile comments. Screen shotted them. Reported. All I can do really. X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes, op I say not interested and get a load of abuse back. So.. Is saying anything necessary. After all so many fear rejection, then message back unpleasant comments.

Sorry to hear that. I've saved my vile comments. Screen shotted them. Reported. All I can do really. X "

Some people are beyond help x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get used to it...this is a swingers site..not a have to reply site...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We only get around twenty or so messages a day so because of the way we approach fab I answer them all but trust me at times it’s hard not to just reply “oh do fuck off” because the effort gone into the message is less than minimal.

How’s you

You ok

What you up too(it’s three in the morning for fucks sake)

So I fully understand why the more popular or prettier people on here don’t reply I really do.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Personally I do answer messaged that I feel warrant a reply.

If it’s pretty obvious someone hasn’t taken the time to read my profile that I feel is very black and white with why I’m here and what I want and don’t want, then that person doesn’t deserve my time and effort in a reply.

Also.... unsure of other women or couples get this... but I get a lot of copy and pasted messages from guys who have sent the previous message to a couple.. Im single.... there is no other person to get a how are you both message.

The other ones are “how horny am I”? Or “fuck I’m hard please come and suck me”?

These types of messages just get deleted

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By *irginieWoman over a year ago

Near Marlborough

"We only get around twenty or so messages a day so because of the way we approach fab I answer them all but trust me at times it’s hard not to just reply “oh do fuck off” because the effort gone into the message is less than minimal.

How’s you

You ok

What you up too(it’s three in the morning for fucks sake)

So I fully understand why the more popular or prettier people on here don’t reply I really do.

I get less than that

I still can’t be arsed to reply.

V x

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By *umalotagainMan over a year ago

a town called malice

Some of the time I think the problem is people expectations

Of course fab says no reply is a polite no thanks

But if someone reads a message and is not interested they could of course delete it from their in box which puts a line through it on my out box which lets me know it’s been seen and there is no interest. When it just sits there read but not replied to I start to wonder if it is a definite no or if it’s a “I will leave that here for later” type deal

But who the hell knows. As a bloke I get very few messages unless I hbe started the conversation, always try and start politely and I can’t imagine dealing with the number of messages some of the couples and ladies receive on here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At least say fuck off or something

Haha

Great book title Or channel 5 documentary title

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t see the point in been abusive , it doesn’t get you any where , if my messages get deleted I move on .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why is written rejection so important?

To keep you happy .. on behalf of all people you message past, present and future and they are not interested .. no thanks

There you go

Happy now?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If it’s ignored just delete it ... don’t sweat it ... way I see it is it’s their loss ..

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By *ruckingscouser69Man over a year ago

Liverpool

"Personally I do answer messaged that I feel warrant a reply.

The other ones are “how horny am I”? Or “fuck I’m hard please come and suck me”?

These types of messages just get deleted "

I can only imagine how frustrating it is getting messages like this, and fellas wonder why they don't get any replies or meets!

I think it's just bravado most of the time, they'd probably shit themselves if you said 'yeah, sure, call round now'

The other thing is, cock pics on profiles, i know it's a sex site and all that, but when their opening gambit is 'look at my huge cock, you know you want it' despite most women/couples stating NOT to send cock pics, it baffles me!

I always send a short polite message and end it with 'pics available on request' (cock pics, my face pic is my profile pic)

Having said that, i'm still waiting on a positive response :D

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The reply is silent, you just didn't hear it with your eyes... if it's read, you can ask no more than that. If your profile is also viewed, even better. If they are interested they will let you know. If they are not, you know.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

dont give a response dont feel obliged to

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By *etpanteaseWoman over a year ago

cearphilly

"I try to be polite to messages regardless of who it is but admittedly it must be tough for woman receiving 100’s!

Plus this environment is very clinical at times I think. "

It is tough for women here.

But well said,a reply either way is courtesy.

Either yes or no manners don't cost,there are manners involved in sex too.x

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By *ickdasterdly51Man over a year ago

Lingfield

As a single guy I don't understand why the wink isn't the initial point of contact. If I see a profile I like I wink them, they can have a brief look at my profile and if they are interested then wink back. If I don't get a wink I know they aren't interested, if I do I can write a nice personal message and be more hopeful of some sort of reply. It's a huge waste of my time and dispiriting to write personal messages that aren't even read let alone replied to. However many people on here seem to dismiss the wink as being lazy, to me it's not, it should be an initial sign of interest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Another issue with replying is after the sender has deleted their messages and forgotten you, they look at the profile again x amount of time later, all they see is that both parties sent messages and they seem to think this meant we must have been chatting and message again so it's simply quicker and easier all round to just not reply. "

Exactly this

Everyone should run their profile as they see fit.

People kick off at me and call me rude for not replying. Yet it states on my profile how I work. Some demand a reply despite not reading or respecting my profile text. Personally I find that rude

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By *_BelleRose_xCouple over a year ago

worcester

We have this .... Also we receive sometimes 50+ messages a day many we answer but please don’t be offended if we delete without responding sometimes we have to clear our inbox or it becomes overwhelming and no longer fun !... written in our profile so as we don’t offend but it can be really overwhelming at times

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Faq section states that no reply means no interest.

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