I know everyone plays differently and I'm guessing single women are probably the most likely to want a social before play for safety reasons but it seems that some people are a little...disparaging about them.
I recently told someone that I would need to meet socially first and got what I felt was a slightly piss takey "ooookay  " back.
As I've just seen on another thread, some men will flake on arranged socials when they realise that their dick won't be getting wet - but do people really not understand or care that some of us like to feel that there is a spark and also, just feel safe and relaxed in someone's company?
You do you but if a man can't respect my need for reassurance then he's not worth my time.
Also re socials, have you ever met anyone from here that you've no desire to play with but thought you'd enjoy their company (I don't mean group socials). |
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I'd have a social with an awful lot of people from the forum who I don't wanna bang.
Over the years we've built up a rapport and general familairness kinda thing, if someone was passing through and fancied a pint or some grub at the local I'd be up for that. |
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I always prefer and request social first.
I have met a few people socially first and then if the sexual attraction is mutual then it goes further.
If not then I would be OK to be friends but again it mutual.
Meeting on a cup of coffee, for a walk or sit somewhere and talk is far better then simple "fuck and go".
Trust, chemistry and understanding is the key for a good sex.
Xxx |
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There are several people i would meet socially from here both male and female.
Anyone i was considering doing more with, i would always start with a social. If they are not good with that they are not for me so next. |
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Yeah there is part of me that hates socials as they're a bit "date like" for me and I'm the first to internally scream at aimless small talk
But they are necessary for loads of reasons. Yes safety, but also chemistry check before committing a large chunk of time (or money if no one can host), removing any pressure to race to the finish line.
Guys these don't have to be frigid time wasted moments, done right they can be great anticipation builder's... I know there's plenty who appreciate a slow unfold 
Would love to hear some male perceptions of socials |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just see them as not compatible. The end. I rarely do socials so if someone insists on one and it doesn't fit with me I won't meet then. I don't give it further thought. |
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I've always had a social with no expectations for the first meet and always will. If guys don't want or like it then I'm sure there are plenty of other women on here that are more than happy to meet and play on the first meet x |
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Regardless of if we play together or alone, we always start with a social. Loke to have a little chat at least before we play...plus what harm is there in a bit of flirty build up?
Plus we have made freinds through fab. Wouldnt have happened if we just banged and that was it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always say social first even if we have chatted for a while. Like you say you want to know there's that physical thing. We have also just met socially for a coffee and a chat. We like the social aspect of this lifestyle as much as the play.(There has been no play with others for a very long time) just saying! 
If people don't like the way you do things then they probably aren't your people.
Jo.Xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know everyone plays differently and I'm guessing single women are probably the most likely to want a social before play for safety reasons but it seems that some people are a little...disparaging about them.
I recently told someone that I would need to meet socially first and got what I felt was a slightly piss takey "ooookay " back.
As I've just seen on another thread, some men will flake on arranged socials when they realise that their dick won't be getting wet - but do people really not understand or care that some of us like to feel that there is a spark and also, just feel safe and relaxed in someone's company?
You do you but if a man can't respect my need for reassurance then he's not worth my time.
Also re socials, have you ever met anyone from here that you've no desire to play with but thought you'd enjoy their company (I don't mean group socials)."
I totally get that you'd like to feel safe, anyone with functioning brain cells would understand that.
Sparks and connection I am a bit biased on, I meanof course there needs to a conversation but deciding what's for tea ain't going to make anyone cum  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Would love to hear some male perceptions of socials "
I think it’s great to enjoy a social in its own right with no more pressure or expectations. If things do develop in the moment then all good, but nothing wrong with just enjoying a day or night out with a new person and talking afterwards about future plans. |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
"I know everyone plays differently and I'm guessing single women are probably the most likely to want a social before play for safety reasons but it seems that some people are a little...disparaging about them.
I recently told someone that I would need to meet socially first and got what I felt was a slightly piss takey "ooookay " back.
As I've just seen on another thread, some men will flake on arranged socials when they realise that their dick won't be getting wet - but do people really not understand or care that some of us like to feel that there is a spark and also, just feel safe and relaxed in someone's company?
You do you but if a man can't respect my need for reassurance then he's not worth my time.
Also re socials, have you ever met anyone from here that you've no desire to play with but thought you'd enjoy their company (I don't mean group socials).
I totally get that you'd like to feel safe, anyone with functioning brain cells would understand that.
Sparks and connection I am a bit biased on, I meanof course there needs to a conversation but deciding what's for tea ain't going to make anyone cum "
no, but it will probably decide if someone wants to make you cum |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"could ask bill cosby.
he's just coming out of prison and hasnt had a women for a while
Totally inappropriate considering what he went to prison for!"
its been overturned |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"could ask bill cosby.
he's just coming out of prison and hasnt had a women for a while
Totally inappropriate considering what he went to prison for!
its been overturned"
Yes on a technically. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like yourself OP and many others I think of my own personal security as much as the next person (probably due to my job making me aware of it)
I'm also not very good at writing out things and prefer face to face to gauge the body language.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will always have a social 1st but to be honest these days is just the social aspect that I am interested in.
I have had guys in the past who have cancelled only for later that evening to see they have had a verification from someone else because they would rather have met someone they thought they were going to get sex from. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always want a social first. Putting the safety aspect to one side for a second. Someone can look great in pics, come across well in text chat but until they are actually in front of me I can't say if I want to get them naked or not. There's so much to be said for how someone talks, holds themselves (get your mind out of the gutter, I didn't mean that) and what their body language is like. I can't agree to sex based on stills off a screen.
So if a guy doesn't want a social and doesn't get why I do he's a no go from the offset. And what he thinks of me for it I couldn't care less about.
Just want to add that I don't think guys flake out of socials because of the fact there's no sex on the cards. I think most flake out because they know they are going to be a yes or a no and they don't want the no as that feels rubbish like a rejection. Or they were attached and couldn't get away.
PW. |
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"Like yourself OP and many others I think of my own personal security as much as the next person (probably due to my job making me aware of it)
I'm also not very good at writing out things and prefer face to face to gauge the body language.
"
Body language, facial expressions and tone of voice etc - all key indicators as to someone's true character. I just like to get a feel for someone in general. |
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I find it odd that some people don't want a social but each to their own. Yes, I'm verified but that doesn't mean I'm sending out the same face pic I'm verified for. I've come across people at clubs who looked totally different to their gave pics but that's filters and angles for you. |
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"I always want a social first. Putting the safety aspect to one side for a second. Someone can look great in pics, come across well in text chat but until they are actually in front of me I can't say if I want to get them naked or not. There's so much to be said for how someone talks, holds themselves (get your mind out of the gutter, I didn't mean that) and what their body language is like. I can't agree to sex based on stills off a screen.
So if a guy doesn't want a social and doesn't get why I do he's a no go from the offset. And what he thinks of me for it I couldn't care less about.
Just want to add that I don't think guys flake out of socials because of the fact there's no sex on the cards. I think most flake out because they know they are going to be a yes or a no and they don't want the no as that feels rubbish like a rejection. Or they were attached and couldn't get away.
PW. "
Yeah I'm sure it's so much this, us ladies do occasionally get rejected, but it's def not such an ever present fear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also re socials, have you ever met anyone from here that you've no desire to play with but thought you'd enjoy their company (I don't mean group socials)."
Plenty of guys fall into that category. On previous profiles I'd met a couple of men falling into that category, and they knew before meeting, but as they wanted more than a "friendship" it wasn't going to work x |
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We would prefer a social first. Just to see how it goes and how we feel.
Yes if we click and something happens that night fair enough. But it would never be expected I wanna feel comfy with the woman I meet as does hubby |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like the idea of socials. I’ve just been fortunate enough to meet some really decent people on Fab….and it’s always led to more.
One of my meets wasn’t compatible with my sense of humour and that’s fine. I’d like to think that the others are friends now & I’ve seen them again since.
I think a quick video call might be the way to go, should you prefer spontaneous fun. Completely agree on the need for safety….there are a lot of catfish out there.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey news flash.. .I'm a single guy and I will always have a social first....
And now Craig with the weather, what’s it looking like out there Craig ? "
Wet for Craig very very dry for you x |
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On my single profile if I suggest a social and they are not on board, I just tell them theno meet then. I found it was often men who wanted fun with no effort, who wouldn't meet socially, or those with something to hide.
I said this on a previous thread, years ago I was arranging a meet and said it's a social first.
He was quite elusive about a social, I stuck to my guns and he said well I suppose I'll have to jump through your hoops to meet you...
I said don't bother, you've made far too big a deal of it all now.
How people meet is their choice, but it used to wind me up when they tried to get me to invite them straight to mine, after I'd made it clear it was a public social meet 1st.
We prefer socials first when we meet couples too, it's easier to gage the 4 way attraction when you meet for a drink and chat 1st.
Miss
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
If somebody does not agree, or appears to be reluctant about the idea of a social only meet to start with - no point trying to persuade them. They would not be the kind of people with whom I have a lot in common.
Each to their own, eh? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Best avoid that one. Im abit of a socialholic, always socials before play and have many socials with 'fab friends' sho i dont play with. Ive only met to play without socials twice and both weren't great experiences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey news flash.. .I'm a single guy and I will always have a social first....
And now Craig with the weather, what’s it looking like out there Craig ?
Dry, like my uneaten vagina "
Thanks Craig, now here's Fatima with the sport... |
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"Best avoid that one. Im abit of a socialholic, always socials before play and have many socials with 'fab friends' sho i dont play with. Ive only met to play without socials twice and both weren't great experiences. "
Yes, he's gone.
I appreciate that not everyone "needs" to meet socially first but surely as an empathic being, you can understand that some people do?
You can't and shouldn't try to make people do something that don't want to buymt equally, having scant regard for someone's comfort levels is a big ole red flag for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How else are you going to find out if to click or not if you don't meet socially first"
A lot of people are just looking for one off nsa sex in here, the people who frequent the forums are a very small part of the amount of people on fab, so it gives a skewed opinion count |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I've met quite a few people for socials that I have no desire to get biblically acquainted with and I'm almost certain they feel the same - I'm meeting a few more next month and I can't wait! I value their friendship, I find it fascinating meeting others on here and finding out their background etc.
I've always met for a social first but if I've been working down South sometimes it has been a couple of drinks and then my quim took over. If someone doesn't want a social, they aren't compatible with you. Hopefully they are mature enough to respect that and not do it out of false hope for a dicking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In answer to your question yes I meet strangers off here for friend cuppa socials if I have a free morning, generally I'll pop a status update with a comment tailored to something I'm interested in and see who is free |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've met quite a few people for socials that I have no desire to get biblically acquainted with and I'm almost certain they feel the same - I'm meeting a few more next month and I can't wait! I value their friendship, I find it fascinating meeting others on here and finding out their background etc.
I've always met for a social first but if I've been working down South sometimes it has been a couple of drinks and then my quim took over. If someone doesn't want a social, they aren't compatible with you. Hopefully they are mature enough to respect that and not do it out of false hope for a dicking."
I don't "do" sex on a first date. I have broken that rule a few times before tho. Didn't mean to. Just happened. |
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"I've met quite a few people for socials that I have no desire to get biblically acquainted with and I'm almost certain they feel the same - I'm meeting a few more next month and I can't wait! I value their friendship, I find it fascinating meeting others on here and finding out their background etc.
I've always met for a social first but if I've been working down South sometimes it has been a couple of drinks and then my quim took over. If someone doesn't want a social, they aren't compatible with you. Hopefully they are mature enough to respect that and not do it out of false hope for a dicking."
Damn these independently minded quims |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd have a social with an awful lot of people from the forum who I don't wanna bang.
Over the years we've built up a rapport and general familairness kinda thing, if someone was passing through and fancied a pint or some grub at the local I'd be up for that."
We shall visit Shits Creek at some point |
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In my single years on Fab I've only had a social once and that's because it was local. It was with a view to play at a later date if we got on, which we did, and we did.
I found a few phone calls was more than enough to find out if we were compatible (I gave my number and said it's was fine to call me from a withheld number) and it worked for me. Plus, I'm told I've a very sexy phone voice and I've got to use all the tools in my arsenal  |
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"In my single years on Fab I've only had a social once and that's because it was local. It was with a view to play at a later date if we got on, which we did, and we did.
I found a few phone calls was more than enough to find out if we were compatible (I gave my number and said it's was fine to call me from a withheld number) and it worked for me. Plus, I'm told I've a very sexy phone voice and I've got to use all the tools in my arsenal "
Male half btw |
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I once met a lady for a social. We spent five hours in a bar chatting (food was taken too). We got on really well. I just didn’t fancy her. She couldn’t get her head round the fact we talked non stop for five hours but I didn’t fancy her.
She was good company. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it odd that some people don't want a social but each to their own. "
Really? Why do you find it odd that some of us really don't need to? Over the 12 years I've been meeting folk I am very good at sussing people out. I get that not everyone can but I'm not questioning that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey news flash.. .I'm a single guy and I will always have a social first....
And now Craig with the weather, what’s it looking like out there Craig ? "
It’s raining clunge and squirting (it’s not piss… honest)
Back to James in the studio  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to love having lunchtime socials back in the "old" days.
You know nothing is going to happen as you have to be back at the office after an hour or so.
Always a good way to see if there is any spark of sexual desire then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I absolutely would not mind a social at first. My only problem is using it to see if there's a spark because I'm very rarely myself on a first meet as I can be nervous and I mostly just try to keep things as inoffensive as possible which can come off as boring.
So I would need a social or 5 before that spark can be there |
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"I think a social is a minimal investment for what can be a fantastic outcome. I’ve always had a social first and they’ve always been great."
This, it's the ground work.
I wouldn't feel safe/comfortable going straight in for a meet.
And if you get on, then there's the build up until the actual playtime! Makes the whole experience much more fun, in my opinion.
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Social is a must know matter how much interaction uv ad over text .it's important 2 make a women feel safe so somewhere v public helps . Socials also help start the sparks off especially if u get a cheeky kiss lol x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly if someone isn't prepared to meet you on your terms, i think you are better off without them x"
See you by the cumcumbers in Waitrose tomorrow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly if someone isn't prepared to meet you on your terms, i think you are better off without them x
See you by the cumcumbers in Waitrose tomorrow "
Best typo ever. Or was it intentional? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly if someone isn't prepared to meet you on your terms, i think you are better off without them x
See you by the cumcumbers in Waitrose tomorrow "
You didn't!!! Omfg you did  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly if someone isn't prepared to meet you on your terms, i think you are better off without them x
See you by the cumcumbers in Waitrose tomorrow
You didn't!!! Omfg you did "
Sorry Lidl? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly if someone isn't prepared to meet you on your terms, i think you are better off without them x
See you by the cumcumbers in Waitrose tomorrow
You didn't!!! Omfg you did
Sorry Lidl? "
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We prefer a social first. We have been known to go straight from the social to the bedroom, but that’s rare!
Met plenty that we won’t play with but are now firm friends.
It’s a funny old world, but find sticking to what your happy doing works best!
X X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know everyone plays differently and I'm guessing single women are probably the most likely to want a social before play for safety reasons but it seems that some people are a little...disparaging about them.
I recently told someone that I would need to meet socially first and got what I felt was a slightly piss takey "ooookay " back.
As I've just seen on another thread, some men will flake on arranged socials when they realise that their dick won't be getting wet - but do people really not understand or care that some of us like to feel that there is a spark and also, just feel safe and relaxed in someone's company?
You do you but if a man can't respect my need for reassurance then he's not worth my time.
Also re socials, have you ever met anyone from here that you've no desire to play with but thought you'd enjoy their company (I don't mean group socials)."
Yes I prefer the social without expectations. After all there is no guarantee it will all have same effect in person. Why demand a promise there will be ?
And yes to other question. I met people just to get to know them! and still will. |
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I think socials are a good thing personally, it gives you a chance to chat face to face and if there is a connection with the person, it could be you find a friend it could be more. And I would never expect a social to be anything more than that especially for a first meet. |
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"I know everyone plays differently and I'm guessing single women are probably the most likely to want a social before play for safety reasons but it seems that some people are a little...disparaging about them.
I recently told someone that I would need to meet socially first and got what I felt was a slightly piss takey "ooookay " back.
As I've just seen on another thread, some men will flake on arranged socials when they realise that their dick won't be getting wet - but do people really not understand or care that some of us like to feel that there is a spark and also, just feel safe and relaxed in someone's company?
You do you but if a man can't respect my need for reassurance then he's not worth my time.
Also re socials, have you ever met anyone from here that you've no desire to play with but thought you'd enjoy their company (I don't mean group socials)."
Just politely point them to meets today. Would think that’s more suited for there expectations. |
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"I like to ask for a social first.
I want to make sure,she's not a complete nutjib before she gets in my pants.
As if her being a nut job would put you of… lol  "
She'd have to be a bit of a nutjob to agree to meet me,in the first place, but I did say 'complete nutjob' |
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"I like to ask for a social first.
I want to make sure,she's not a complete nutjib before she gets in my pants.
As if her being a nut job would put you of… lol
She'd have to be a bit of a nutjob to agree to meet me,in the first place, but I did say 'complete nutjob' "
Well for some people it’s the little things in life that make them happy. That’s why there smiling when they are looking down at you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always like to have a social first if attraction isn't there on either side its easier to make your apologies and leave then meet someone who looks nothing like there pics and you wouldnt touch with matt Hancock. Plus I never meet with any expectations so a social first suits me |
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Id say 90% of my meets have a huge social element even if its the 2nd or 3rd meet.
Ive rarely had the rushed let just have sex meets, usually drinks music and home cooked food. Plenty of time for good conversation, laughs and the tease
I have a regular friend (female) on here and its rare we have sex, but have the best nights and laughs |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"I know everyone plays differently and I'm guessing single women are probably the most likely to want a social before play for safety reasons but it seems that some people are a little...disparaging about them.
I recently told someone that I would need to meet socially first and got what I felt was a slightly piss takey "ooookay " back.
As I've just seen on another thread, some men will flake on arranged socials when they realise that their dick won't be getting wet - but do people really not understand or care that some of us like to feel that there is a spark and also, just feel safe and relaxed in someone's company?
You do you but if a man can't respect my need for reassurance then he's not worth my time.
Also re socials, have you ever met anyone from here that you've no desire to play with but thought you'd enjoy their company (I don't mean group socials)."
To put it in few words as possible yes yes yes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love the social element to the first meet up, it adds more sexual tension to the whole thing. Plus you get a feel fir the person you just don’t get from messaging or a phone chat!
There’s definitely an added bonus of raising the chemistry between you if you’ve already agreed you fancy the pants off one another and can enjoy flirting over a coffee, a meal or drinks. |
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