FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I wouldn't have expected transphobia on here.
I wouldn't have expected transphobia on here.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the lounge ???
Don’t know about other parts but I have never came across it in the lounge really maybe the odd one or two times but not from regular lounge poster
More from a first time poster that’s thrown the toys out the pram and being nasty to everyone |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
"
I’m kinda gob smacked they asked if she was convincing…  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
I’m kinda gob smacked they asked if she was convincing… "
Yeah cos, like a group of people in a pub, in a private room thats booked thats relevent  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
"
The fact they asked if they were convincing tells you all you need to know that it’s not the kind off social anyone should be going to
Sound very judgmental
Socials should be open to everyone and anyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lots of transphobia on here. People on the outside assume the swinging community to be open minded and welcoming but it has a significant number of bigots and transphobes. The funny thing is, these transphobes have the gall to describe themselves as "open minded" on their page. I don't think so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is so sad to hear. Homo bi. Trans phobia is still out there, and it's those that aren't comfortable with themselves that tend to be like this. Everyone should be happy and comfortable in their sexuality  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"In the lounge ???
Don’t know about other parts but I have never came across it in the lounge really maybe the odd one or two times but not from regular lounge poster
More from a first time poster that’s thrown the toys out the pram and being nasty to everyone "
Hmmm clearly a regular at at least one club and organising socials, i just thought my friend, a platonic friend might come along so i asked and apparently not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In the lounge ???
Don’t know about other parts but I have never came across it in the lounge really maybe the odd one or two times but not from regular lounge poster
More from a first time poster that’s thrown the toys out the pram and being nasty to everyone
Hmmm clearly a regular at at least one club and organising socials, i just thought my friend, a platonic friend might come along so i asked and apparently not. "
I just thought you meant on the forums as I sed I don’t really come across It in the lounge
And to say I am part of the furniture in the lounge would be a very big understatement concerning how much dribble I post ha ha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've obviously withdrawn.
I'm not going to boycot or name the club. Because it's not them. As i know my friends attended fetish nights there.
But it's understandably niggled me. |
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"In the lounge ???
Don’t know about other parts but I have never came across it in the lounge really maybe the odd one or two times but not from regular lounge poster
More from a first time poster that’s thrown the toys out the pram and being nasty to everyone
Hmmm clearly a regular at at least one club and organising socials, i just thought my friend, a platonic friend might come along so i asked and apparently not.
I just thought you meant on the forums as I sed I don’t really come across It in the lounge
And to say I am part of the furniture in the lounge would be a very big understatement concerning how much dribble I post ha ha "
It really does happen in here often ! Other week I got told my trans daughter will allways be a male! Had a few people be very nasty to me here x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've obviously withdrawn.
I'm not going to boycot or name the club. Because it's not them. As i know my friends attended fetish nights there.
But it's understandably niggled me. "
But I mean, if it was a social anyway, maybe was better not even mentioning the fact she’s trans? (And she passes and looks pretty so none would have thought twice) Does it matter if it’s a social? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In the lounge ???
Don’t know about other parts but I have never came across it in the lounge really maybe the odd one or two times but not from regular lounge poster
More from a first time poster that’s thrown the toys out the pram and being nasty to everyone
Hmmm clearly a regular at at least one club and organising socials, i just thought my friend, a platonic friend might come along so i asked and apparently not.
I just thought you meant on the forums as I sed I don’t really come across It in the lounge
And to say I am part of the furniture in the lounge would be a very big understatement concerning how much dribble I post ha ha
It really does happen in here often ! Other week I got told my trans daughter will allways be a male! Had a few people be very nasty to me here x"
Awww hugs that’s shocking completely out off order to say the least must have been a thread I missed do miss the odd ones here and there
But was more just thinking with amounts I post on here I would have if you know what I mean and ones more big hugs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In the lounge ???
Don’t know about other parts but I have never came across it in the lounge really maybe the odd one or two times but not from regular lounge poster
More from a first time poster that’s thrown the toys out the pram and being nasty to everyone
Hmmm clearly a regular at at least one club and organising socials, i just thought my friend, a platonic friend might come along so i asked and apparently not.
I just thought you meant on the forums as I sed I don’t really come across It in the lounge
And to say I am part of the furniture in the lounge would be a very big understatement concerning how much dribble I post ha ha
It really does happen in here often ! Other week I got told my trans daughter will allways be a male! Had a few people be very nasty to me here x"
I get this all the time. Someone in another thread on this forum has just said it. I just keep repeating Trans women ARE WOMEN. Sadly, it's difficult to educate stupid people. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"In the lounge ???
Don’t know about other parts but I have never came across it in the lounge really maybe the odd one or two times but not from regular lounge poster
More from a first time poster that’s thrown the toys out the pram and being nasty to everyone
Hmmm clearly a regular at at least one club and organising socials, i just thought my friend, a platonic friend might come along so i asked and apparently not.
I just thought you meant on the forums as I sed I don’t really come across It in the lounge
And to say I am part of the furniture in the lounge would be a very big understatement concerning how much dribble I post ha ha
It really does happen in here often ! Other week I got told my trans daughter will allways be a male! Had a few people be very nasty to me here x"
Narrow minded people, are bound to their own stupidity.
|
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I think there’s a lot of difference of opinion and different ideas/thoughts surrounding trans on here
Not much actual transphobia though. I feel that word gets thrown around too easily. Just because you don’t agree with something doesn’t automatically make you some kind of phobia. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think there’s a lot of difference of opinion and different ideas/thoughts surrounding trans on here
Not much actual transphobia though. I feel that word gets thrown around too easily. Just because you don’t agree with something doesn’t automatically make you some kind of phobia."
True, it's not a fear as such, more a bigoted hatred.. that's a better term for your behaviour. |
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"I think there’s a lot of difference of opinion and different ideas/thoughts surrounding trans on here
Not much actual transphobia though. I feel that word gets thrown around too easily. Just because you don’t agree with something doesn’t automatically make you some kind of phobia. True, it's not a fear as such, more a bigoted hatred.. that's a better term for your behaviour."
I would disagree with that too. Just differences of opinions and thoughts. It’s very rare to see actual hatred towards anyone on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think there’s a lot of difference of opinion and different ideas/thoughts surrounding trans on here
Not much actual transphobia though. I feel that word gets thrown around too easily. Just because you don’t agree with something doesn’t automatically make you some kind of phobia. True, it's not a fear as such, more a bigoted hatred.. that's a better term for your behaviour.
I would disagree with that too. Just differences of opinions and thoughts. It’s very rare to see actual hatred towards anyone on here "
It's demonstrated by not respecting how a person wishes to be identified and identifying them as something completely different, even though you know it's offensive to them. You wouldn't refer to a Jewish man as a Catholic but many people on here happily refer to trans women as men and take great pleasure in it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think there’s a lot of difference of opinion and different ideas/thoughts surrounding trans on here
Not much actual transphobia though. I feel that word gets thrown around too easily. Just because you don’t agree with something doesn’t automatically make you some kind of phobia. True, it's not a fear as such, more a bigoted hatred.. that's a better term for your behaviour.
I would disagree with that too. Just differences of opinions and thoughts. It’s very rare to see actual hatred towards anyone on here "
Ah but to deny someone because of what they are? It's predudicial at least |
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"I think there’s a lot of difference of opinion and different ideas/thoughts surrounding trans on here
Not much actual transphobia though. I feel that word gets thrown around too easily. Just because you don’t agree with something doesn’t automatically make you some kind of phobia. True, it's not a fear as such, more a bigoted hatred.. that's a better term for your behaviour.
I would disagree with that too. Just differences of opinions and thoughts. It’s very rare to see actual hatred towards anyone on here It's demonstrated by not respecting how a person wishes to be identified and identifying them as something completely different, even though you know it's offensive to them. You wouldn't refer to a Jewish man as a Catholic but many people on here happily refer to trans women as men and take great pleasure in it."
True, but I still believe that comes from a lack of education and understanding. And I believe most can learn and can understand
Instead of just labelling everyone a bigot that hates trans for no reason |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think there’s a lot of difference of opinion and different ideas/thoughts surrounding trans on here
Not much actual transphobia though. I feel that word gets thrown around too easily. Just because you don’t agree with something doesn’t automatically make you some kind of phobia. True, it's not a fear as such, more a bigoted hatred.. that's a better term for your behaviour.
I would disagree with that too. Just differences of opinions and thoughts. It’s very rare to see actual hatred towards anyone on here It's demonstrated by not respecting how a person wishes to be identified and identifying them as something completely different, even though you know it's offensive to them. You wouldn't refer to a Jewish man as a Catholic but many people on here happily refer to trans women as men and take great pleasure in it.
True, but I still believe that comes from a lack of education and understanding. And I believe most can learn and can understand
Instead of just labelling everyone a bigot that hates trans for no reason "
I've tried educating and even showed them the definition of trans as found on Google, they still carry on because they are HATEFUL. |
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"I think there’s a lot of difference of opinion and different ideas/thoughts surrounding trans on here
Not much actual transphobia though. I feel that word gets thrown around too easily. Just because you don’t agree with something doesn’t automatically make you some kind of phobia. True, it's not a fear as such, more a bigoted hatred.. that's a better term for your behaviour.
I would disagree with that too. Just differences of opinions and thoughts. It’s very rare to see actual hatred towards anyone on here It's demonstrated by not respecting how a person wishes to be identified and identifying them as something completely different, even though you know it's offensive to them. You wouldn't refer to a Jewish man as a Catholic but many people on here happily refer to trans women as men and take great pleasure in it.
True, but I still believe that comes from a lack of education and understanding. And I believe most can learn and can understand
Instead of just labelling everyone a bigot that hates trans for no reason I've tried educating and even showed them the definition of trans as found on Google, they still carry on because they are HATEFUL."
Well, guess we can agree to disagree, all the best then  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It would be better for your friend to be a site member and apply to attend the event, in the same way we would all do.
"
I asked about a plus 1, as anyone would if they knew someone who is interested.
But apparently they woukd have been refused regardless |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is there a chance that the social organiser just didn't want to draw attention to the gathering?"
Privatly booked apparently.
And why would a convincing or not as the case may be trans person being present have any bearing? |
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Sadly there are transphobic, homophobic, sexist, racist etc etc people on here as there are in all walks of life. Thankfully it is the minority. I agree with thick a bit though in that I think there are people who do want to be educated and often get shot down for perhaps using the wrong word etc. The situation you are talking about though is unacceptable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
"
Is it a Fab forum social?
Why did you even mention that your friend is trans? Why is that relevant? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
Is it a Fab forum social?
Why did you even mention that your friend is trans? Why is that relevant? "
Good question, i didn't think it was relevent exept i kinda got the impresion they had a ratio of single male, single female and couples, so i said so as to be transparent. Maybe i shoukd of just said female despite them identifying as trans.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
Is it a Fab forum social?
Why did you even mention that your friend is trans? Why is that relevant?
Good question, i didn't think it was relevent exept i kinda got the impresion they had a ratio of single male, single female and couples, so i said so as to be transparent. Maybe i shoukd of just said female despite them identifying as trans. "
Fair enough.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
Is it a Fab forum social?
Why did you even mention that your friend is trans? Why is that relevant?
Good question, i didn't think it was relevent exept i kinda got the impresion they had a ratio of single male, single female and couples, so i said so as to be transparent. Maybe i shoukd of just said female despite them identifying as trans.
Fair enough. "
Next time I'm just identifying friends by musical preference.
Eg me and 5 sabaton fans  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
Is it a Fab forum social?
Why did you even mention that your friend is trans? Why is that relevant?
Good question, i didn't think it was relevent exept i kinda got the impresion they had a ratio of single male, single female and couples, so i said so as to be transparent. Maybe i shoukd of just said female despite them identifying as trans.
Fair enough.
Next time I'm just identifying friends by musical preference.
Eg me and 5 sabaton fans "
|
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
What a dreadful post to wake up to, especially when I realised OP was talking about a conversation that I had with him last night.
I cannot quote the conversation (it is against forum rules), but I did indeed ask if the TV was convincing. The event is in a private function room of a town centre pub. It is planned to be a wonderful evening and I did not want people turning up in club type gear...fishnets, see through clothing, collars thus drawing attention to the group, and it was in a similar thought pattern that this was asked. This is a standard expectation for organised socials, to dress smartly as if going to a nice wine bar. I was keen to keep it low key, so that people attending weren't outed as swingers in the neighbourhood and that the venue would be happy to host us in the future.
I was told that the person attended the nearby club on Fetish events. I was concerned that they had not been on a regular night as TVs are definitely welcome and attend every night that the club opens. That puzzled me. Did they see it as something kinky or a fetish, not every day acceptable?
At this point I was unsure and it was late at night and I said I would have to discuss with the other organiser. My main concern was about drawing attention to what will be my first larger scale Social event and I wanted to get it right for everyone. I expected to continue the discussion the following day to explain my concerns and then add the guest to the list. I didn't even have a name at that stage.
The next message from the OP was that the guest was 20. Sadly there is an age limit 21 to 70 put on the Social Event and this can be viewed on the STOKESOCIALPROFILE which is attached to the event.
THE GUEST WAS NOT TURNED AWAY BECAUSE THEY WERE A TV, they were told that they could not attend purely because of their age.
I am very annoyed and extremely upset at how the OP has lied about what actually happened!
The green arrow shows OP has posted 5 threads and every one is about Transphobia.
Accuse me of Ageism if you want, but not Transphobia.
Thank you for reading the other side of the story.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What a dreadful post to wake up to, especially when I realised OP was talking about a conversation that I had with him last night.
I cannot quote the conversation (it is against forum rules), but I did indeed ask if the TV was convincing. The event is in a private function room of a town centre pub. It is planned to be a wonderful evening and I did not want people turning up in club type gear...fishnets, see through clothing, collars thus drawing attention to the group, and it was in a similar thought pattern that this was asked. This is a standard expectation for organised socials, to dress smartly as if going to a nice wine bar. I was keen to keep it low key, so that people attending weren't outed as swingers in the neighbourhood and that the venue would be happy to host us in the future.
I was told that the person attended the nearby club on Fetish events. I was concerned that they had not been on a regular night as TVs are definitely welcome and attend every night that the club opens. That puzzled me. Did they see it as something kinky or a fetish, not every day acceptable?
At this point I was unsure and it was late at night and I said I would have to discuss with the other organiser. My main concern was about drawing attention to what will be my first larger scale Social event and I wanted to get it right for everyone. I expected to continue the discussion the following day to explain my concerns and then add the guest to the list. I didn't even have a name at that stage.
The next message from the OP was that the guest was 20. Sadly there is an age limit 21 to 70 put on the Social Event and this can be viewed on the STOKESOCIALPROFILE which is attached to the event.
THE GUEST WAS NOT TURNED AWAY BECAUSE THEY WERE A TV, they were told that they could not attend purely because of their age.
I am very annoyed and extremely upset at how the OP has lied about what actually happened!
The green arrow shows OP has posted 5 threads and every one is about Transphobia.
Accuse me of Ageism if you want, but not Transphobia.
Thank you for reading the other side of the story.
"
Trans not TV. |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"What a dreadful post to wake up to, especially when I realised OP was talking about a conversation that I had with him last night.
I cannot quote the conversation (it is against forum rules), but I did indeed ask if the TV was convincing. The event is in a private function room of a town centre pub. It is planned to be a wonderful evening and I did not want people turning up in club type gear...fishnets, see through clothing, collars thus drawing attention to the group, and it was in a similar thought pattern that this was asked. This is a standard expectation for organised socials, to dress smartly as if going to a nice wine bar. I was keen to keep it low key, so that people attending weren't outed as swingers in the neighbourhood and that the venue would be happy to host us in the future.
I was told that the person attended the nearby club on Fetish events. I was concerned that they had not been on a regular night as TVs are definitely welcome and attend every night that the club opens. That puzzled me. Did they see it as something kinky or a fetish, not every day acceptable?
At this point I was unsure and it was late at night and I said I would have to discuss with the other organiser. My main concern was about drawing attention to what will be my first larger scale Social event and I wanted to get it right for everyone. I expected to continue the discussion the following day to explain my concerns and then add the guest to the list. I didn't even have a name at that stage.
The next message from the OP was that the guest was 20. Sadly there is an age limit 21 to 70 put on the Social Event and this can be viewed on the STOKESOCIALPROFILE which is attached to the event.
THE GUEST WAS NOT TURNED AWAY BECAUSE THEY WERE A TV, they were told that they could not attend purely because of their age.
I am very annoyed and extremely upset at how the OP has lied about what actually happened!
The green arrow shows OP has posted 5 threads and every one is about Transphobia.
Accuse me of Ageism if you want, but not Transphobia.
Thank you for reading the other side of the story.
"
Yes there is allways 2 sides to a story thanks for posting this |
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"What a dreadful post to wake up to, especially when I realised OP was talking about a conversation that I had with him last night.
I cannot quote the conversation (it is against forum rules), but I did indeed ask if the TV was convincing. The event is in a private function room of a town centre pub. It is planned to be a wonderful evening and I did not want people turning up in club type gear...fishnets, see through clothing, collars thus drawing attention to the group, and it was in a similar thought pattern that this was asked. This is a standard expectation for organised socials, to dress smartly as if going to a nice wine bar. I was keen to keep it low key, so that people attending weren't outed as swingers in the neighbourhood and that the venue would be happy to host us in the future.
I was told that the person attended the nearby club on Fetish events. I was concerned that they had not been on a regular night as TVs are definitely welcome and attend every night that the club opens. That puzzled me. Did they see it as something kinky or a fetish, not every day acceptable?
At this point I was unsure and it was late at night and I said I would have to discuss with the other organiser. My main concern was about drawing attention to what will be my first larger scale Social event and I wanted to get it right for everyone. I expected to continue the discussion the following day to explain my concerns and then add the guest to the list. I didn't even have a name at that stage.
The next message from the OP was that the guest was 20. Sadly there is an age limit 21 to 70 put on the Social Event and this can be viewed on the STOKESOCIALPROFILE which is attached to the event.
THE GUEST WAS NOT TURNED AWAY BECAUSE THEY WERE A TV, they were told that they could not attend purely because of their age.
I am very annoyed and extremely upset at how the OP has lied about what actually happened!
The green arrow shows OP has posted 5 threads and every one is about Transphobia.
Accuse me of Ageism if you want, but not Transphobia.
Thank you for reading the other side of the story.
"
Great to read the other side. We don't have published age guides for our social but I think a twenty year old attending might make a few regulars uncomfortable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
"
How is that transphobia?
A lot of folk won't meet people that young |
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"What a dreadful post to wake up to, especially when I realised OP was talking about a conversation that I had with him last night.
I cannot quote the conversation (it is against forum rules), but I did indeed ask if the TV was convincing. The event is in a private function room of a town centre pub. It is planned to be a wonderful evening and I did not want people turning up in club type gear...fishnets, see through clothing, collars thus drawing attention to the group, and it was in a similar thought pattern that this was asked. This is a standard expectation for organised socials, to dress smartly as if going to a nice wine bar. I was keen to keep it low key, so that people attending weren't outed as swingers in the neighbourhood and that the venue would be happy to host us in the future.
I was told that the person attended the nearby club on Fetish events. I was concerned that they had not been on a regular night as TVs are definitely welcome and attend every night that the club opens. That puzzled me. Did they see it as something kinky or a fetish, not every day acceptable?
At this point I was unsure and it was late at night and I said I would have to discuss with the other organiser. My main concern was about drawing attention to what will be my first larger scale Social event and I wanted to get it right for everyone. I expected to continue the discussion the following day to explain my concerns and then add the guest to the list. I didn't even have a name at that stage.
The next message from the OP was that the guest was 20. Sadly there is an age limit 21 to 70 put on the Social Event and this can be viewed on the STOKESOCIALPROFILE which is attached to the event.
THE GUEST WAS NOT TURNED AWAY BECAUSE THEY WERE A TV, they were told that they could not attend purely because of their age.
I am very annoyed and extremely upset at how the OP has lied about what actually happened!
The green arrow shows OP has posted 5 threads and every one is about Transphobia.
Accuse me of Ageism if you want, but not Transphobia.
Thank you for reading the other side of the story.
"
I see no mention of a age limit of 21 in your original post? X |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
How is that transphobia?
A lot of folk won't meet people that young "
Thankyou. That was the issue. The guests age ! But the OP is making it out to be about something else.. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
How is that transphobia?
A lot of folk won't meet people that young
Thankyou. That was the issue. The guests age ! But the OP is making it out to be about something else.."
I've just checked your forum post and nowhere does it say it's 21+ - maybe you can ensure that is part of your blurb for such socials in future...
However...
You need to realise your handling of this isn't great... Several times in your post you have talked about a convincing 'TV' and stressed it's because it's not about fetishwear etc...
Someone who is transitioning (what ever stage they are at) doesn't owe anyone 'convincability' they are living their life as the gender they should be. They come up against enough stigma and abuse in the world. Your phrasing and they way you approached this (irrespective of the age limit of your event) isn't great and it would be good if you'd acknowledge this and reflect on how your language around the trans community going forward. |
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"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
How is that transphobia?
A lot of folk won't meet people that young
Thankyou. That was the issue. The guests age ! But the OP is making it out to be about something else..
I've just checked your forum post and nowhere does it say it's 21+ - maybe you can ensure that is part of your blurb for such socials in future...
However...
You need to realise your handling of this isn't great... Several times in your post you have talked about a convincing 'TV' and stressed it's because it's not about fetishwear etc...
Someone who is transitioning (what ever stage they are at) doesn't owe anyone 'convincability' they are living their life as the gender they should be. They come up against enough stigma and abuse in the world. Your phrasing and they way you approached this (irrespective of the age limit of your event) isn't great and it would be good if you'd acknowledge this and reflect on how your language around the trans community going forward."
x |
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Think the main problem has been the location it’s not a club ? There are problems that can happen when using a pubs private room ?
Don’t think what has been told to us means anything more than the party organisers trying to make sure that all will have the best time in a safe environment.
Sorry but I’m not sure I’d feel comfy with someone so young being there ?
I hope that everyone involved can talk privately and get this sorted out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"5 threads about transphobia?
I think you'll find it's all posts in this thread.
And as i said i wasn't going to name or shame.... You outed yourself
"
Thank you for calling it out and raising awareness. If we don't bring up bigotry then we can't stop it. |
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"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
How is that transphobia?
A lot of folk won't meet people that young
Thankyou. That was the issue. The guests age ! But the OP is making it out to be about something else.."
If that was the issue, maybe try not asking if trans people are "convincing" in future.
You may not have meant that as insulting, but it's really insensitive at best. |
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Sadly there are bad elements in all walks of life, there's homophobic comments somewhere on the forums most days too
What's the saying 'you can't teach stupid' so just block them and move on and try and ignore their forum posts in the future |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sadly there are bad elements in all walks of life, there's homophobic comments somewhere on the forums most days too
What's the saying 'you can't teach stupid' so just block them and move on and try and ignore their forum posts in the future"
Karen blocked me after being snarky so it's all good.
|
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"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
"
With socials they often don't release venue details until the last minute, I know it's rare but some venues are over 21 - no need for the convincing comment though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sadly there are bad elements in all walks of life, there's homophobic comments somewhere on the forums most days too
What's the saying 'you can't teach stupid' so just block them and move on and try and ignore their forum posts in the future
Karen blocked me after being snarky so it's all good.
"
Karen is the perfect name for her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But hey ho.
I wont bother agaon.
U OK HUN? I suggest you grow some braincells and stop speaking like a 14 year old American Instagrammer."
Damn, I was doing for middle aged facebooker. My bad. |
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I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? "
You missread the issue my friend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? "
You're ignorance is infuriating. We don't need approval from you CIS people. If one of us says we are a trans woman, then we ARE a trans woman, regardless of how we look and how "convincing" you deem us to look. Sandi Toksvig doesn't look feminine at all but she is a CIS woman, are you going to judge how "convincing" she is? |
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"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? You're ignorance is infuriating. We don't need approval from you CIS people. If one of us says we are a trans woman, then we ARE a trans woman, regardless of how we look and how "convincing" you deem us to look. Sandi Toksvig doesn't look feminine at all but she is a CIS woman, are you going to judge how "convincing" she is?"
She looks like a perfectly ordinary woman  |
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"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
"
Why did you feel the need to mention they were Trans? |
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"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? "
Omg! U for real???? |
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"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? You're ignorance is infuriating. We don't need approval from you CIS people. If one of us says we are a trans woman, then we ARE a trans woman, regardless of how we look and how "convincing" you deem us to look. Sandi Toksvig doesn't look feminine at all but she is a CIS woman, are you going to judge how "convincing" she is?"
I didn’t say they aren’t women? |
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"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? You're ignorance is infuriating. We don't need approval from you CIS people. If one of us says we are a trans woman, then we ARE a trans woman, regardless of how we look and how "convincing" you deem us to look. Sandi Toksvig doesn't look feminine at all but she is a CIS woman, are you going to judge how "convincing" she is?"
I’ve noticed you seem very angry in a lot of your comments. I’ve seen a lot of TVs/Trans use the word convincing. So how about drop the aggressive attitude and maybe try and educate people because I for one am not interested in anything you have to say with that attitude |
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"Sadly there are bad elements in all walks of life, there's homophobic comments somewhere on the forums most days too
What's the saying 'you can't teach stupid' so just block them and move on and try and ignore their forum posts in the future
Karen blocked me after being snarky so it's all good.
"
Very grown up  |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
Why did you feel the need to mention they were Trans?"
Sadly, many CIS people go off their rocker if we don't state that we are trans within the first sentence of introduction. I was told I am misleading people the other day when they said am I trans and I simply said I'd prefer not to say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? You're ignorance is infuriating. We don't need approval from you CIS people. If one of us says we are a trans woman, then we ARE a trans woman, regardless of how we look and how "convincing" you deem us to look. Sandi Toksvig doesn't look feminine at all but she is a CIS woman, are you going to judge how "convincing" she is?
She looks like a perfectly ordinary woman "
Please do elaborate on what you mean by "ordinary", I'd love to know. |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sadly there are bad elements in all walks of life, there's homophobic comments somewhere on the forums most days too
What's the saying 'you can't teach stupid' so just block them and move on and try and ignore their forum posts in the future
Karen blocked me after being snarky so it's all good.
Very grown up "
I wasn't being snarky in PMs |
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"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? You're ignorance is infuriating. We don't need approval from you CIS people. If one of us says we are a trans woman, then we ARE a trans woman, regardless of how we look and how "convincing" you deem us to look. Sandi Toksvig doesn't look feminine at all but she is a CIS woman, are you going to judge how "convincing" she is?
She looks like a perfectly ordinary woman Please do elaborate on what you mean by "ordinary", I'd love to know."
Omg this place is unreal! People can’t say anything! Ffs |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? You're ignorance is infuriating. We don't need approval from you CIS people. If one of us says we are a trans woman, then we ARE a trans woman, regardless of how we look and how "convincing" you deem us to look. Sandi Toksvig doesn't look feminine at all but she is a CIS woman, are you going to judge how "convincing" she is?
She looks like a perfectly ordinary woman Please do elaborate on what you mean by "ordinary", I'd love to know."
Let's see you go in turns, so you first with she she isn't feminine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
She looks like a perfectly ordinary woman Please do elaborate on what you mean by "ordinary", I'd love to know.
Let's see you go in turns, so you first with she she isn't feminine"
"WHY she.." - typo |
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"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? You're ignorance is infuriating. We don't need approval from you CIS people. If one of us says we are a trans woman, then we ARE a trans woman, regardless of how we look and how "convincing" you deem us to look. Sandi Toksvig doesn't look feminine at all but she is a CIS woman, are you going to judge how "convincing" she is?
She looks like a perfectly ordinary woman Please do elaborate on what you mean by "ordinary", I'd love to know.
Omg this place is unreal! People can’t say anything! Ffs"
|
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"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? You're ignorance is infuriating. We don't need approval from you CIS people. If one of us says we are a trans woman, then we ARE a trans woman, regardless of how we look and how "convincing" you deem us to look. Sandi Toksvig doesn't look feminine at all but she is a CIS woman, are you going to judge how "convincing" she is?
She looks like a perfectly ordinary woman Please do elaborate on what you mean by "ordinary", I'd love to know.
Omg this place is unreal! People can’t say anything! Ffs "
All some people do on here is look for words people might say to twist them in order to try an make it some sort of phobia or ist. It’s so fucking obvious too. I’ve seen it loads lately and it’s sad and says more about them than anyone else.
Pisses me right off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently. |
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"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
Why did you feel the need to mention they were Trans? Sadly, many CIS people go off their rocker if we don't state that we are trans within the first sentence of introduction. I was told I am misleading people the other day when they said am I trans and I simply said I'd prefer not to say. "
I'm sorry you face the brunt of cis fragility |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
Why did you feel the need to mention they were Trans?"
Read back, I've covered that |
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"I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently."
Your picking a fight out of thin air
I know you think people are transphobic, but judging by your replies I think they might just not like your attitude in some instances |
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"Sandi Toksvig doesn't look feminine at all but she is a CIS woman, are you going to judge how "convincing" she is?"
AHH so it's ok to say someone doesn't look feminine but not ok to ask if someone does.
Glad that's clear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently.
Your picking a fight out of thin air
I know you think people are transphobic, but judging by your replies I think they might just not like your attitude in some instances "
Civilised debate, not a fight, it's not 2009 MSN. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
Why did you feel the need to mention they were Trans? Sadly, many CIS people go off their rocker if we don't state that we are trans within the first sentence of introduction. I was told I am misleading people the other day when they said am I trans and I simply said I'd prefer not to say.
I'm sorry you face the brunt of cis fragility"
Thank you, I appreciate it. |
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"I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently.
Your picking a fight out of thin air
I know you think people are transphobic, but judging by your replies I think they might just not like your attitude in some instances Civilised debate, not a fight, it's not 2009 MSN. "
Sadly u won't win with some people here! I fully understand your frustrations! So much ignorance in the world makes me sad!  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently.
Your picking a fight out of thin air
I know you think people are transphobic, but judging by your replies I think they might just not like your attitude in some instances Civilised debate, not a fight, it's not 2009 MSN.
Sadly u won't win with some people here! I fully understand your frustrations! So much ignorance in the world makes me sad! x"
Thanks. They'll never win as their voices can never stop us living our lives. X |
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"I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently.
Your picking a fight out of thin air
I know you think people are transphobic, but judging by your replies I think they might just not like your attitude in some instances Civilised debate, not a fight, it's not 2009 MSN.
Sadly u won't win with some people here! I fully understand your frustrations! So much ignorance in the world makes me sad! x Thanks. They'll never win as their voices can never stop us living our lives. X"
Absoulutley! And how it should b x |
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"I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently.
Your picking a fight out of thin air
I know you think people are transphobic, but judging by your replies I think they might just not like your attitude in some instances Civilised debate, not a fight, it's not 2009 MSN.
Sadly u won't win with some people here! I fully understand your frustrations! So much ignorance in the world makes me sad! x Thanks. They'll never win as their voices can never stop us living our lives. X"
Who? Who won’t win? Are you talking about this thread as I’ve just looked through and I don’t see any transphobia. Or are you talking about people in general life who are transphobic? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently.
Your picking a fight out of thin air
I know you think people are transphobic, but judging by your replies I think they might just not like your attitude in some instances Civilised debate, not a fight, it's not 2009 MSN.
Sadly u won't win with some people here! I fully understand your frustrations! So much ignorance in the world makes me sad! x Thanks. They'll never win as their voices can never stop us living our lives. X
Who? Who won’t win? Are you talking about this thread as I’ve just looked through and I don’t see any transphobia. Or are you talking about people in general life who are transphobic?"
I'm talking about some*** people posting in this thread and most* of people in general life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I just want to say, I am sorry if some people thought any of my posts were a personal attack on them, it wasn't. It was an attack on transphobic behaviour. Not everyone on the forums are bad people. |
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"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
"
This is very sad to read. I have only been to one social and I was the only transgender attendee. But I was made to feel incredibly welcome and it was a great night. So I just wanted to say not all socials are as judgemental as the one you mention and I'm sure there are other events where your attendance will be embraced. Hope you find such an event soon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s unfortunate but same thing with racism and homophobia, it’s present and probably will never go away… just call it out but equally don’t waste too much of your time and energy on it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently."
I don't like the 'convincing' tag either. I wear baggy jeans and tshirts, I wonder how convincing I am. |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Bury St Edmunds/Clacton |
"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
"
So you didn't get an answer you wanted and you automatically put it down to something extreme? 'Nice' way to cheapen actual victims.
C |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently.
I don't like the 'convincing' tag either. I wear baggy jeans and tshirts, I wonder how convincing I am. "
As Sandi Toksvig?
Pretty good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently."
Because Sandi has nothing to prove , being born a woman.
Trans women do (rightly or wrong that , that is) and that is earnt |
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"I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently.
I don't like the 'convincing' tag either. I wear baggy jeans and tshirts, I wonder how convincing I am. "
I always thought the convincing was entirely based on facial features. How feminine someone looks. No including style or body
To me it’s just a way of asking “am I going to meet someone that has a lot of feminine facial features”. Nothing to do with “am I going to judge or label this person as woman / man / no women enough or whatever” |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I'm here wondering why trans people who don't look "convincing" aren't welcome.
Do we have to be pretty and feminine to attend a public social?
I look like Trunchball but I don't get turned down.
Are people so scared of being judged they pander to societal normality?
You can walk into pubs in London and see all manner of human beings, dressed in weird and wonderful clothing.
My first thought wouldn't be, oh, I bet they're swingers, the filthy fuckers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? "
I think because it sounds like trying to trick somebody.
I think the word used nowadays is PASSING.
Do you pass as a woman or a man.
Also passing is a privilege and isn’t about how attractive somebody is.
A trans woman can pass as a woman but not be an attractive one, it only means that they look, sound, behave just like any cis woman.
But I agree with all you said, genetics come into play (so is someone naturally feminine looking,are they small etc) and then money, for sure! But if someone has good genetics then the less work they have to do, the better.
Early transitioners generally are the ones who pass the easiest
It’s just the truth |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently.
I don't like the 'convincing' tag either. I wear baggy jeans and tshirts, I wonder how convincing I am.
I always thought the convincing was entirely based on facial features. How feminine someone looks. No including style or body
To me it’s just a way of asking “am I going to meet someone that has a lot of feminine facial features”. Nothing to do with “am I going to judge or label this person as woman / man / no women enough or whatever” "
She wasn't going there to have sex with anyone, so it wouldn't matter anyway.
We all know swingers are middle aged, Chintz loving, cleavage showing, ankle bracelet wearing women with husbands called Barry. |
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"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though?
I think because it sounds like trying to trick somebody.
I think the word used nowadays is PASSING.
Do you pass as a woman or a man.
Also passing is a privilege and isn’t about how attractive somebody is.
A trans woman can pass as a woman but not be an attractive one, it only means that they look, sound, behave just like any cis woman.
But I agree with all you said, genetics come into play (so is someone naturally feminine looking,are they small etc) and then money, for sure! But if someone has good genetics then the less work they have to do, the better.
Early transitioners generally are the ones who pass the easiest
It’s just the truth "
Ah, there we go. I get it now. I didn’t think of the added part of “convincing” someone = tricking
Makes sense
So passing or passable? Someone that has a lot of feminine attributes would be passable?
I said in an earlier post about how I just assumed it meant face? Is that true?
Like if I see someone dressed as a man, acting like a man, sounding like a man, but they looked like ariana grande, I’d say they pass
Do you think it’s more then just face? Or is it a personal opinion thing? |
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"I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently.
I don't like the 'convincing' tag either. I wear baggy jeans and tshirts, I wonder how convincing I am.
I always thought the convincing was entirely based on facial features. How feminine someone looks. No including style or body
To me it’s just a way of asking “am I going to meet someone that has a lot of feminine facial features”. Nothing to do with “am I going to judge or label this person as woman / man / no women enough or whatever”
She wasn't going there to have sex with anyone, so it wouldn't matter anyway.
We all know swingers are middle aged, Chintz loving, cleavage showing, ankle bracelet wearing women with husbands called Barry."
I’m speaking generally about the term, not specifically about this situation. As I stated a few posts above in case you missed it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though?
I think because it sounds like trying to trick somebody.
I think the word used nowadays is PASSING.
Do you pass as a woman or a man.
Also passing is a privilege and isn’t about how attractive somebody is.
A trans woman can pass as a woman but not be an attractive one, it only means that they look, sound, behave just like any cis woman.
But I agree with all you said, genetics come into play (so is someone naturally feminine looking,are they small etc) and then money, for sure! But if someone has good genetics then the less work they have to do, the better.
Early transitioners generally are the ones who pass the easiest
It’s just the truth
Ah, there we go. I get it now. I didn’t think of the added part of “convincing” someone = tricking
Makes sense
So passing or passable? Someone that has a lot of feminine attributes would be passable?
I said in an earlier post about how I just assumed it meant face? Is that true?
Like if I see someone dressed as a man, acting like a man, sounding like a man, but they looked like ariana grande, I’d say they pass
Do you think it’s more then just face? Or is it a personal opinion thing? "
Just pass or passing.
Well if Ariana Grande sounded just like a man, you’d probably think “what the fuck”
And you’d know there’s something “off”
So she wouldnt be passing (or at least her looks would pass). Voice is probably the prime factor when it comes to being able to tell if somebody is trans.
Passing is more like…… you’d be surprised if somebody said They were trans if you didn’t know.
It can just be with looks too tho, you walk down the street, and you see somebody and don’t think “they must be trans”
They pass (at least visually) |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently.
I don't like the 'convincing' tag either. I wear baggy jeans and tshirts, I wonder how convincing I am.
I always thought the convincing was entirely based on facial features. How feminine someone looks. No including style or body
To me it’s just a way of asking “am I going to meet someone that has a lot of feminine facial features”. Nothing to do with “am I going to judge or label this person as woman / man / no women enough or whatever”
She wasn't going there to have sex with anyone, so it wouldn't matter anyway.
We all know swingers are middle aged, Chintz loving, cleavage showing, ankle bracelet wearing women with husbands called Barry.
I’m speaking generally about the term, not specifically about this situation. As I stated a few posts above in case you missed it "
There's a lot to scroll through.
My point still stands. |
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"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though?
I think because it sounds like trying to trick somebody.
I think the word used nowadays is PASSING.
Do you pass as a woman or a man.
Also passing is a privilege and isn’t about how attractive somebody is.
A trans woman can pass as a woman but not be an attractive one, it only means that they look, sound, behave just like any cis woman.
But I agree with all you said, genetics come into play (so is someone naturally feminine looking,are they small etc) and then money, for sure! But if someone has good genetics then the less work they have to do, the better.
Early transitioners generally are the ones who pass the easiest
It’s just the truth
Ah, there we go. I get it now. I didn’t think of the added part of “convincing” someone = tricking
Makes sense
So passing or passable? Someone that has a lot of feminine attributes would be passable?
I said in an earlier post about how I just assumed it meant face? Is that true?
Like if I see someone dressed as a man, acting like a man, sounding like a man, but they looked like ariana grande, I’d say they pass
Do you think it’s more then just face? Or is it a personal opinion thing?
Just pass or passing.
Well if Ariana Grande sounded just like a man, you’d probably think “what the fuck”
And you’d know there’s something “off”
So she wouldnt be passing (or at least her looks would pass). Voice is probably the prime factor when it comes to being able to tell if somebody is trans.
Passing is more like…… you’d be surprised if somebody said They were trans if you didn’t know.
It can just be with looks too tho, you walk down the street, and you see somebody and don’t think “they must be trans”
They pass (at least visually)"
Guess it’s just a very personal thing. If Ariana Grande sounded like a bro I’d still pass her enough to wifey up |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Bury St Edmunds/Clacton |
"I am a trans woman. I wear plenty of make up to look glamorous and feminine. I wear pencil skirts and accessories like cravats.
Sandi is a CIS woman, she wears no make up. She has a quiff in her hair like Jedward have and they are men. She wears baggy jeans and baggy shirts and trainers.
Yet it's us trans girls who get judged and assessed on how "convincing" or feminine we look and people like Sandi Toksvig look like "ordinary" women apparently.
I don't like the 'convincing' tag either. I wear baggy jeans and tshirts, I wonder how convincing I am.
I always thought the convincing was entirely based on facial features. How feminine someone looks. No including style or body
To me it’s just a way of asking “am I going to meet someone that has a lot of feminine facial features”. Nothing to do with “am I going to judge or label this person as woman / man / no women enough or whatever”
She wasn't going there to have sex with anyone, so it wouldn't matter anyway.
We all know swingers are middle aged, Chintz loving, cleavage showing, ankle bracelet wearing women with husbands called Barry."
Funny enough my parents have an awful lot of friends called Barry
P |
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By *AFKA HovisMan
over a year ago
Sindon Swingdon Swindon |
@damian. Thank you for sharing your side. From your reply I saw you had a concern you wanted to be reassured on. Having read this thread, would you rephrase how you addressed that concern, and how ? Or are you happy with the appraoch you took?
(Assume she was 25 to avoid the age angle to all this) |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Bury St Edmunds/Clacton |
"I'm here wondering why trans people who don't look "convincing" aren't welcome.
Do we have to be pretty and feminine to attend a public social?
I look like Trunchball but I don't get turned down.
Are people so scared of being judged they pander to societal normality?
You can walk into pubs in London and see all manner of human beings, dressed in weird and wonderful clothing.
My first thought wouldn't be, oh, I bet they're swingers, the filthy fuckers."
We've seen your pics and you're not Trunchball!
Manchester is great at times due to the sheer difference in people. It turns violent at times due to the different biases at play but always fun.
C |
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"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? You're ignorance is infuriating. We don't need approval from you CIS people. If one of us says we are a trans woman, then we ARE a trans woman, regardless of how we look and how "convincing" you deem us to look. Sandi Toksvig doesn't look feminine at all but she is a CIS woman, are you going to judge how "convincing" she is?
She looks like a perfectly ordinary woman Please do elaborate on what you mean by "ordinary", I'd love to know.
Omg this place is unreal! People can’t say anything! Ffs
All some people do on here is look for words people might say to twist them in order to try an make it some sort of phobia or ist. It’s so fucking obvious too. I’ve seen it loads lately and it’s sad and says more about them than anyone else.
Pisses me right off. "
There is a new culture of people who demand to be victims and demand to be the centre of the universe and everyone else adjusts their language and culture.
It’s absolutely nothing to do with trans , but unfortunately it’s a few trans activists driving it infiltrating big media and public bodies like bbc and U.K. universities. The Marxist left can’t get power politically anymore so this is the next best option |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? You're ignorance is infuriating. We don't need approval from you CIS people. If one of us says we are a trans woman, then we ARE a trans woman, regardless of how we look and how "convincing" you deem us to look. Sandi Toksvig doesn't look feminine at all but she is a CIS woman, are you going to judge how "convincing" she is?
She looks like a perfectly ordinary woman Please do elaborate on what you mean by "ordinary", I'd love to know.
Omg this place is unreal! People can’t say anything! Ffs
All some people do on here is look for words people might say to twist them in order to try an make it some sort of phobia or ist. It’s so fucking obvious too. I’ve seen it loads lately and it’s sad and says more about them than anyone else.
Pisses me right off.
There is a new culture of people who demand to be victims and demand to be the centre of the universe and everyone else adjusts their language and culture.
It’s absolutely nothing to do with trans , but unfortunately it’s a few trans activists driving it infiltrating big media and public bodies like bbc and U.K. universities. The Marxist left can’t get power politically anymore so this is the next best option "
U know what, I’m going to have agree and it’s sad that some individuals seem to want to shout loud their version of the narrative and expect people to listen.
I’m sorry but that’s only gonna do the exact opposite.
I think lived experience and telling that story with grace and passion, in a pure genuine way, will make individual who don’t totally understand trans issues, or what it means to be trans, listen and think , maybe… “oh yes , shit, I see that and I respect that”
I always say that I don’t need people to fully understand what I’ve gone through or how it feels to be in my shoes, but I appreciate when people listen and maybe learn something new from me and my experiences
Or other fellow women and men of trans experience x |
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"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? You're ignorance is infuriating. We don't need approval from you CIS people. If one of us says we are a trans woman, then we ARE a trans woman, regardless of how we look and how "convincing" you deem us to look. Sandi Toksvig doesn't look feminine at all but she is a CIS woman, are you going to judge how "convincing" she is?
She looks like a perfectly ordinary woman Please do elaborate on what you mean by "ordinary", I'd love to know.
Omg this place is unreal! People can’t say anything! Ffs
All some people do on here is look for words people might say to twist them in order to try an make it some sort of phobia or ist. It’s so fucking obvious too. I’ve seen it loads lately and it’s sad and says more about them than anyone else.
Pisses me right off.
There is a new culture of people who demand to be victims and demand to be the centre of the universe and everyone else adjusts their language and culture.
It’s absolutely nothing to do with trans , but unfortunately it’s a few trans activists driving it infiltrating big media and public bodies like bbc and U.K. universities. The Marxist left can’t get power politically anymore so this is the next best option
U know what, I’m going to have agree and it’s sad that some individuals seem to want to shout loud their version of the narrative and expect people to listen.
I’m sorry but that’s only gonna do the exact opposite.
I think lived experience and telling that story with grace and passion, in a pure genuine way, will make individual who don’t totally understand trans issues, or what it means to be trans, listen and think , maybe… “oh yes , shit, I see that and I respect that”
I always say that I don’t need people to fully understand what I’ve gone through or how it feels to be in my shoes, but I appreciate when people listen and maybe learn something new from me and my experiences
Or other fellow women and men of trans experience x "
I love how u respond kylie and stay so laid back! U are truly an inspiration! Xx |
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"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? You're ignorance is infuriating. We don't need approval from you CIS people. If one of us says we are a trans woman, then we ARE a trans woman, regardless of how we look and how "convincing" you deem us to look. Sandi Toksvig doesn't look feminine at all but she is a CIS woman, are you going to judge how "convincing" she is?
She looks like a perfectly ordinary woman Please do elaborate on what you mean by "ordinary", I'd love to know.
Omg this place is unreal! People can’t say anything! Ffs
All some people do on here is look for words people might say to twist them in order to try an make it some sort of phobia or ist. It’s so fucking obvious too. I’ve seen it loads lately and it’s sad and says more about them than anyone else.
Pisses me right off.
There is a new culture of people who demand to be victims and demand to be the centre of the universe and everyone else adjusts their language and culture.
It’s absolutely nothing to do with trans , but unfortunately it’s a few trans activists driving it infiltrating big media and public bodies like bbc and U.K. universities. The Marxist left can’t get power politically anymore so this is the next best option
U know what, I’m going to have agree and it’s sad that some individuals seem to want to shout loud their version of the narrative and expect people to listen.
I’m sorry but that’s only gonna do the exact opposite.
I think lived experience and telling that story with grace and passion, in a pure genuine way, will make individual who don’t totally understand trans issues, or what it means to be trans, listen and think , maybe… “oh yes , shit, I see that and I respect that”
I always say that I don’t need people to fully understand what I’ve gone through or how it feels to be in my shoes, but I appreciate when people listen and maybe learn something new from me and my experiences
Or other fellow women and men of trans experience x "
|
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"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? You're ignorance is infuriating. We don't need approval from you CIS people. If one of us says we are a trans woman, then we ARE a trans woman, regardless of how we look and how "convincing" you deem us to look. Sandi Toksvig doesn't look feminine at all but she is a CIS woman, are you going to judge how "convincing" she is?
She looks like a perfectly ordinary woman Please do elaborate on what you mean by "ordinary", I'd love to know.
Omg this place is unreal! People can’t say anything! Ffs
All some people do on here is look for words people might say to twist them in order to try an make it some sort of phobia or ist. It’s so fucking obvious too. I’ve seen it loads lately and it’s sad and says more about them than anyone else.
Pisses me right off.
There is a new culture of people who demand to be victims and demand to be the centre of the universe and everyone else adjusts their language and culture.
It’s absolutely nothing to do with trans , but unfortunately it’s a few trans activists driving it infiltrating big media and public bodies like bbc and U.K. universities. The Marxist left can’t get power politically anymore so this is the next best option "
This too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Unfortunately there is bullying and ridicule everywhere.
All through my life as a child, at school and in every job Ive done I was abused because I looked "different",ie feminine features and because of my height,that was BEFORE I started transitioning.
Some people were born in the wrong body and if anyone has ever done the SAGE tests they will know there is a lot more to it than just looks, (ie fem thought patterns).
Personnally as a frequent member on here for many years Ive never experienced any phobic comments at all, and 99% of male enquirers are "straight", having said that I never approach anyone first.
There is a far right Tory newspaper who publish anti-trans features daily to whip things up, but, to be fair thats usually because of the looney "Trans-rights" activists causing mischief, I wish the activists would go away ,they are causing far more damage and hatred, they dont speak for me, I blend in, keep myself to myself ,I dont totter down the street in a party wig with thigh boots, and, being as though I am not having the final op I DONT consider it my right to use womens changing rooms or toilets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I love how u respond kylie and stay so laid back! U are truly an inspiration! Xx "
Thanks lovely  I am trying
I mean I’ve been apparently told today on here that I don’t know what it means to be trans 
Me …. |
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"
I love how u respond kylie and stay so laid back! U are truly an inspiration! Xx
Thanks lovely I am trying
I mean I’ve been apparently told today on here that I don’t know what it means to be trans
Me …. "
Ohh dear!! x |
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"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
"
We had a reading social in a pub and a lovely trans woman joined us. |
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Interesting perspective. This site is merely a microcosm of society.
I would absolutely expect to find misogynist, racism, homophobia and transphobia here, just as I do in wider society.
That said, it’s not nice that you and your friend had to go through that and at least you now know where not to visit |
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By *AFKA HovisMan
over a year ago
Sindon Swingdon Swindon |
"@damian. Thank you for sharing your side. From your reply I saw you had a concern you wanted to be reassured on. Having read this thread, would you rephrase how you addressed that concern, and how ? Or are you happy with the appraoch you took?
(Assume she was 25 to avoid the age angle to all this)"
not Damian. @lizzy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well i put my name down for a social, later asked if a trans friend could come as a plus 1.
I got asked if they were convincing in a pub, i said they were, and pretty and 20.
Suddenly theres a age limit of 21.
Also i wasn't aware you needed to be convinving if you're trans to frequent a pub?
I'm a licensed door supervisor soi have a basic knowledge of licencing laws, nowhere does it say about being convincing...
"
Why not just ask if you could bring a +1? No need to elaborate on that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You posted the same on fab and the gender critical crew have jumped all over it, it’s so embarrassing the gay community over on the forum are so transphobic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I love how u respond kylie and stay so laid back! U are truly an inspiration! Xx
Thanks lovely I am trying
I mean I’ve been apparently told today on here that I don’t know what it means to be trans
Me …. "
Maybe you could ask a trans person what it's like. |
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"
I love how u respond kylie and stay so laid back! U are truly an inspiration! Xx
Thanks lovely I am trying
I mean I’ve been apparently told today on here that I don’t know what it means to be trans
Me …. "
Wow |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Unfortunately there is bullying and ridicule everywhere.
All through my life as a child, at school and in every job Ive done I was abused because I looked "different",ie feminine features and because of my height,that was BEFORE I started transitioning.
Some people were born in the wrong body and if anyone has ever done the SAGE tests they will know there is a lot more to it than just looks, (ie fem thought patterns).
Personnally as a frequent member on here for many years Ive never experienced any phobic comments at all, and 99% of male enquirers are "straight", having said that I never approach anyone first.
There is a far right Tory newspaper who publish anti-trans features daily to whip things up, but, to be fair thats usually because of the looney "Trans-rights" activists causing mischief, I wish the activists would go away ,they are causing far more damage and hatred, they dont speak for me, I blend in, keep myself to myself ,I dont totter down the street in a party wig with thigh boots, and, being as though I am not having the final op I DONT consider it my right to use womens changing rooms or toilets."
Re your last point, can I ask if you do use them though ? |
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"Unfortunately there is bullying and ridicule everywhere.
All through my life as a child, at school and in every job Ive done I was abused because I looked "different",ie feminine features and because of my height,that was BEFORE I started transitioning.
Some people were born in the wrong body and if anyone has ever done the SAGE tests they will know there is a lot more to it than just looks, (ie fem thought patterns).
Personnally as a frequent member on here for many years Ive never experienced any phobic comments at all, and 99% of male enquirers are "straight", having said that I never approach anyone first.
There is a far right Tory newspaper who publish anti-trans features daily to whip things up, but, to be fair thats usually because of the looney "Trans-rights" activists causing mischief, I wish the activists would go away ,they are causing far more damage and hatred, they dont speak for me, I blend in, keep myself to myself ,I dont totter down the street in a party wig with thigh boots, and, being as though I am not having the final op I DONT consider it my right to use womens changing rooms or toilets."
Weather u have yet final op or not its your right to use womens rest rooms x |
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By *Ivy xCouple
over a year ago
Belper |
"But hey ho.
I wont bother agaon.
U OK HUN? I suggest you grow some braincells and stop speaking like a 14 year old American Instagrammer."
How does this not count as bitching?
No need to be that nasty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’d love to see a discussion on why “convincing” is offensive, I kinda don’t get it
We all get judged on physical attractiveness. We all have preferences. And trans people exist on a spectrum in terms of how along their transition they are.
If your privileged and rich you can transition with all the surgery and look better then most women
Maybe you aren’t so lucky and hope your genetics work out well for a feminine look
Maybe your early in your transition and from looks alone we couldn’t even tell you’ve started
Aren’t we just asking how far along that spectrum you think you are? I’m not attracted to men, so I’m gonna be more attracted to people further along one side of that spectrum
Woukd it be better to ask “are you attractive?”
Or just avoid it all together and ask for a pic?
I don’t feel great when I get asked my height or my penis size, or for full nude pics and up to date face pics. I don’t like it, but I understand people have preferences they want to meet. I don’t find it offensive
How long before my query gets dismissed as bigoted hatred towards trans though? "
This post reeks of the transphobia you claim doesn't exist |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I love how u respond kylie and stay so laid back! U are truly an inspiration! Xx
Thanks lovely I am trying
I mean I’ve been apparently told today on here that I don’t know what it means to be trans
Me ….
Wow "
I know |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m baffled too as people have the option of choosing what there looking for so choosing to abuse transgender is next level! Bad these people really need educating ?? |
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