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One cock policy and more
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
|
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You tell them to fuck off 
Seriously though, it seems a bit…controlling? Or as if the other person isn’t as in to it/has a jealous streak? And to not be allowed a threesome with another male, but they’re more than happy to have another female just screams red flag bullshit. I wouldn’t be coupling up with this person. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It doesn't sound free and liberated. It feels a little bit insecure and the need to equalise everything seems pedantic.
Is he counting orgasms, number of strokes?
Avoid I'd say"
I can't stop laughing at the 'number of strokes'. |
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If he is straight then asking him to play bisexuality is a Big ask. I'd agree to all of it, but because I prefer equal play, I wouldn't want to be a hot wife on my own, I'd like him to have as much fun as I do, whether that's together or separately  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's all screams ... I want to be poly...but this means I fuck who I want ...but I decide who you fuck, and that's basically no one else unless I get something out means of it.
So it's either trust in your dynamic and relationship. Or fuck off ... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If he is straight then asking him to play bisexuality is a Big ask. I'd agree to all of it, but because I prefer equal play, I wouldn't want to be a hot wife on my own, I'd like him to have as much fun as I do, whether that's together or separately "
Does the fact he's not bisexual give him a pass to play with other women to be equal if you're not allowed single men? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It sounds pretty rigid and impractical in parts, such as the even number of partners"
Impractical because if the ease of attention a woman can get as opposed to a man?
Is it designed to slow the woman down and stop her having so many meets? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am going to pick E my own take
If someone keeping scores then that’s a bit toxic swinging isn’t about scores or notices on a bed post ie you had sex so now it’s my turn to have sex with someone else and you can’t till I have
It’s about injoying your selfs and others
There should never be score keeping like that
Think orther gude lines need to be drawn
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"You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
"
Wtf? 
That’s all I have to say on this OP |
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"It sounds pretty rigid and impractical in parts, such as the even number of partners
Impractical because if the ease of attention a woman can get as opposed to a man?
Is it designed to slow the woman down and stop her having so many meets?"
Perhaps impractical was the wrong word, but it sounds too regimented. I don't think you should have binary limits with such things |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I wouldn't want a partner telling me who I can have sex with and I wouldn't be telling them who they can have sex with.
If my straight man wanted a woman he wouldn't have to make conditions, and if I wanted a woman he wouldn't be making conditions for me either.
I'm not sure I read the OP correctly, but there's my answer |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
"You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
"
You really get yourself into all the pickles don't you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, it's a no. More on the pedantry side than the bi/straight/gender of the partner.
It also sounds like you aren't alligned in values. Rather than worrying about fair, shake hands and walk away.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d say I was lost by about rule B.
Only you two can resolve it yourselves. Thoughts and opinions of those not involved shouldn’t really matter. My thought and opinion is based on Tones’s and my dynamic, which is that I am happy for her to be “ahead”. Does it need to be even to be fair as long as you both get equal joy from the other’s pleasure?
Perhaps I’ve misunderstood the question entirely.
Miles |
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E.
As soon as you couple up with someone, they insist to be in charge of said couple profile, allegedly for you to not to deal with fabmin.
Then they frequently change fab password to your now “couple” profile so you have no control of whatsoever.
They then can bypass multiple filters and message plethora of women because they can.
This goes on.
My thoughts OP?
What’s your benefit in this? |
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"I’d say I was lost by about rule B."
I’m with Miles on this one. Too long, didn’t read.
I’m being flippant, but there’s a serious point there too. If your relationship comes with so many strings attached that it takes you multiple paragraphs to explain the rules … then maybe swinging’s not really for him.
Keeping score isn’t fun. It’s a pain in the backside. This is supposed to be fun. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It sounds pretty rigid and impractical in parts, such as the even number of partners
Impractical because if the ease of attention a woman can get as opposed to a man?
Is it designed to slow the woman down and stop her having so many meets?
Perhaps impractical was the wrong word, but it sounds too regimented. I don't think you should have binary limits with such things"
Oh you've just set off a whole new thought process on this....it's really interesting. Thank you! Not that you have any idea what that would be. |
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A one penis policy is toxic, lazy, one sided, reeks of homophobia at worst and an absolute disrespect for the value of same sex relationships at best, and an absolute hard limit for me.
I love my partners dearly. They do not get to dictate who I sleep with just as I don't dictate to them. Perfectly happy to take on board any particular feelings about individuals and work through them. But my choices are my own, their choices are their own, and as long as everyone is honest and respects the boundaries of honesty and openness then everything is wonderful  |
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By *onicZMan
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
My better half prefers the ladies to the men. I'm more than happy for her to go out on her own to meet them, which she does. She doesn't like to have the male involved if they're part of a couple unless I'm there too. She isn't there to put on a show for me or anyone else, we can do that in a club if we want to.
We play with couples together for the most part.
I don't currently meet alone but that's my own choice. I am allowed if I want to and maybe I will one day.
To be honest, so long as we know what each other are doing then all is good. |
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"It sounds pretty rigid and impractical in parts, such as the even number of partners
Impractical because if the ease of attention a woman can get as opposed to a man?
Is it designed to slow the woman down and stop her having so many meets?
Perhaps impractical was the wrong word, but it sounds too regimented. I don't think you should have binary limits with such things
Oh you've just set off a whole new thought process on this....it's really interesting. Thank you! Not that you have any idea what that would be. "
No probs P
End of the day it has to be something both are mutually agreeable to and happy with |
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My thoughts are if it works for you then go for it and if it doesn't then don't. If deal-breakers lie in accepting or altering these terms then nobody is obliged to accept any and no apologies or explanations are necessary.
I think C is a bit impractical because the number of meets a man can get is likely to be substantially lower.
I personally wouldn't go with all these terms but parts of them I don't find unreasonable. |
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You say "agreements and understandings" in your OP - but it doesn't sound like you've reached an agreement or understanding, it sounds like he wants to set the rules. That's neither agreeing nor understanding, to my mind.
Mrs TMN x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I just say this is not current. This was past.
I've also opened my inbox for this."
I'll await tomorrows follow up "why do I fucking bother asking fab" thread.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can I just say this is not current. This was past.
I've also opened my inbox for this.
I'll await tomorrows follow up "why do I fucking bother asking fab" thread.
"
You know it completely |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can I just say this is not current. This was past.
I've also opened my inbox for this.
So, if it was past, what did you do and what did you learn from it ?"
Walked and swore.. never again. |
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"Can I just say this is not current. This was past.
I've also opened my inbox for this.
So, if it was past, what did you do and what did you learn from it ?
Walked and swore.. never again."
It’s so easy to get caught up in something when it’s so good one on one, but not right in the long run. I’ve been there more times than I’d like to admit. |
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"If he is straight then asking him to play bisexuality is a Big ask. I'd agree to all of it, but because I prefer equal play, I wouldn't want to be a hot wife on my own, I'd like him to have as much fun as I do, whether that's together or separately
Does the fact he's not bisexual give him a pass to play with other women to be equal if you're not allowed single men?"
Which one of the points mentioned that she couldn't have single men?
I read it as he just wants as much play time as she does, together and separately. As a straight woman I'd say no to a ffm if he asked, he can happily go and find 2 women to do one, and I'd happily find 2 men for a mmf if he said no |
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We don’t play with many rules…too many rules just end up being too much head work and stop you from enjoying the moment.
It’s about fun at the end of the day - not wondering if you can do certain things or not 
People who have too many barriers up for meeting are usually insecure and maybe swinging isn’t for them.
K |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I just read it and think I get it. You are coupling up and want to go on a swinging adventure together not apart. So even if you meet separately occasionally he doesn’t want you surpassing him. I kind of get it, if you care about each other you wouldn’t do things that cause upset.
It’s like if you had a baby together and you got to see all the first steps and first words & he didn’t get to share those times.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
"
Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.
A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair
B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead
C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people
D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.
Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.
Dave needs to get in the bin |
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"You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.
A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair
B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead
C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people
D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.
Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.
Dave needs to get in the bin "
 |
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"You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.
A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair
B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead
C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people
D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.
Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.
Dave needs to get in the bin "
Brilliant! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say welcome to swinging as a couple! Bloody difficult to get the right balance! I never managed it! I intend to stay selfish now I'm single and not compromise any more! Good luck, hope you can work it out if that's what's going on! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.
A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair
B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead
C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people
D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.
Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.
Dave needs to get in the bin "
Which bin?? |
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I'm shocked that these kinds of negotiations would be put forth for setting up a casual play partner type duo. I can see why someone would entertain these requests for a life partner who hadn't signed up for an open relationship, and again only for a period until they get up to speed with things. But for a FB/FWB? Why would a single anyone give up so much of their agency against their wishes.
Also, not wanting to sound flippant but no need to compromise when you're already holding most of the deck. |
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"You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
"
Too many rules, we are bi and apart from respective straight people who join us we don't impose stupid conditions. Just ask before you do something and if we like it you can do it. |
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Sounds very selfish to us whomever said it seems like they have to have all the toys and nobody else can touch them as he might need them lol would probably tell them thanks for the chat and hope you find what you're looking for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The only other thing I'd like to add, I've been in the position of not being fussed about meeting as I was happy to just be with my OH.
He meanwhile was loving life and off a lot having frequent meets. This eventually lead me to feeling left out, lonely and isolated. Therefore more equality was needed.
If that means I was insecure then I hold my hands up to it! |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
Question. Did you impose a limit on how many women he could have sex with?
I'm wondering as to why he would say if you're having more he should too.
Wouldn't he just do whoever comes along anyway?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.
A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair
B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead
C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people
D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.
Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.
Dave needs to get in the bin
Which bin?? "
The general waste. Wouldn’t wanna recycle him  |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"The only other thing I'd like to add, I've been in the position of not being fussed about meeting as I was happy to just be with my OH.
He meanwhile was loving life and off a lot having frequent meets. This eventually lead me to feeling left out, lonely and isolated. Therefore more equality was needed.
If that means I was insecure then I hold my hands up to it! "
What prevented you from going and meeting others in that situation, once you felt lonely and left out? Did you communicate the change with your partner? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
"
Sounds a bit ‘controlling’ to me that does |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
"You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.
A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair
B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead
C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people
D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.
Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.
Dave needs to get in the bin "
I was going to comment that this sounded like an ex of mine. Then you mentioned his name! |
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You can gave mff where you all play as you’re happy with same sex sexual contact in a 2 male 3 some have MfM where You’re the focus and he should be happy you’re having fun and he’s part of it too. I’d be happy with that- asking me to play bi would be a no as im not. That would show a lack of respect for my choice. Relationships are about compromise - if you’re not willing to compromise you shouldn’t be in a relationship. Compromise should be a reasonable compromise not completely abandoning what values you have in favour of what someone else wants.  |
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"You can gave mff where you all play as you’re happy with same sex sexual contact in a 2 male 3 some have MfM where You’re the focus and he should be happy you’re having fun and he’s part of it too. I’d be happy with that- asking me to play bi would be a no as im not. That would show a lack of respect for my choice. Relationships are about compromise - if you’re not willing to compromise you shouldn’t be in a relationship. Compromise should be a reasonable compromise not completely abandoning what values you have in favour of what someone else wants.
PS - its not about - hang on you’ve had 2 more shags than me .. i’ll have to have 2 shags now to catch up - Stroke count sounds a very reasonable measure!! "
PPS
They sound a bit immature to be fair from what you described. And potentially a bit insecure and controlling… |
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Sounds very point scoring, you can have the fun but only if I can have exactly the same amount of fun, the threesome with a 4th involved stops it being a threesome.
We play together or not at all so maybe I don't understand it quite as much, for me if the Mr isn't there it's not for me.
Mrs |
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I think B is the key one. If you want to be without your partner with a couple then what you want is an open relationship. In which case you don't need to count - you both just get on with things (and decide in advance how much info you are sharing). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.
A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair
B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead
C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people
D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.
Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.
Dave needs to get in the bin
I was going to comment that this sounded like an ex of mine. Then you mentioned his name! "
Stay away from Daves |
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"You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
"
Immediately sounds like it would be far easier to admit that everyone would get what they want if there was no couple up.
Dunno though, maybe I'm missing the pros against all these cons.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You can gave mff where you all play as you’re happy with same sex sexual contact in a 2 male 3 some have MfM where You’re the focus and he should be happy you’re having fun and he’s part of it too. I’d be happy with that- asking me to play bi would be a no as im not. That would show a lack of respect for my choice. Relationships are about compromise - if you’re not willing to compromise you shouldn’t be in a relationship. Compromise should be a reasonable compromise not completely abandoning what values you have in favour of what someone else wants. "
I think you've misunderstood. There was no asking him to play bi. The partner wants someone of the opposite sex as he's not bi in place of being bi. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Question. Did you impose a limit on how many women he could have sex with?
I'm wondering as to why he would say if you're having more he should too.
Wouldn't he just do whoever comes along anyway?
"
The coupling up meant no single males for one and no single females for the other. On the agreement that they play as a couple. No single profiles alongside the couple one.
I see this so much on here.
But one is bisexual. |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
All I know is ideally if I was one of these swingin' 60s couples.
She can have sex with who she wants but for every PENIS I would ideally like a VAGINA.
She can have as much vagina as she wants, preferably recorded or with me beating off like a chimp in the corner. |
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"Question. Did you impose a limit on how many women he could have sex with?
I'm wondering as to why he would say if you're having more he should too.
Wouldn't he just do whoever comes along anyway?
The coupling up meant no single males for one and no single females for the other. On the agreement that they play as a couple. No single profiles alongside the couple one.
I see this so much on here.
But one is bisexual. "
Sounds like a guy thinking coupling up with a woman would be the golden key to getting another woman to join in.
I think that's rife on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
"
Sounds fair to me. Why should only one person be able to do whatever they want? The other person is just asking for their wants to be heard.
If their wants aren't compatible then either stop seeing other people or split up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So the majority think the woman should be free to fuck around with whoever she likes while the man sits at home like a lemon. Isn't Swinging great!
Why be in a couple if the 2 people want different things.
It could work if the guy was a cuckold and wanted a hot wife. He's not a dick if he's not a cuckold though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am going to pick E my own take
If someone keeping scores then that’s a bit toxic swinging isn’t about scores or notices on a bed post ie you had sex so now it’s my turn to have sex with someone else and you can’t till I have
It’s about injoying your selfs and others
There should never be score keeping like that
Think orther gude lines need to be drawn
"
I am in agreement here Op.
Relationships are meant to be fun.
Swinging is too.
|
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"So the majority think the woman should be free to fuck around with whoever she likes while the man sits at home like a lemon. Isn't Swinging great! "
I didn't read it like that at all, I read it as two singles making a swinging couple kinda deal... in that sense, pretty much anything put down as something someone can't do, regardless of gender, is just cause to suggest it won't work.
But then, I would say that, I had to Google how to spell 'couple' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So the majority think the woman should be free to fuck around with whoever she likes while the man sits at home like a lemon. Isn't Swinging great!
I didn't read it like that at all, I read it as two singles making a swinging couple kinda deal... in that sense, pretty much anything put down as something someone can't do, regardless of gender, is just cause to suggest it won't work.
But then, I would say that, I had to Google how to spell 'couple' "
Depends on who is looking at it I suppose. Saying one can't fuck around. Or saying that they want to share the experiences and have equal amounts of fun. |
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"I'd say that it would depend on the two people involved and if that what what they both wanted."
This.
What other people think or feel isn’t really relevant it’s what the pair of you feel that matters. |
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If you’ve had to put pen to paper so to speak and ask in a thread you already know something is not right….. you should both play with who you want and join in with each other when it suits….and use each other for cuddles and romantic stuff if that’s what’s attracted you to one another……what rules did you set out in the beginning? |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"You can gave mff where you all play as you’re happy with same sex sexual contact in a 2 male 3 some have MfM where You’re the focus and he should be happy you’re having fun and he’s part of it too. I’d be happy with that- asking me to play bi would be a no as im not. That would show a lack of respect for my choice. Relationships are about compromise - if you’re not willing to compromise you shouldn’t be in a relationship. Compromise should be a reasonable compromise not completely abandoning what values you have in favour of what someone else wants.
I think you've misunderstood. There was no asking him to play bi. The partner wants someone of the opposite sex as he's not bi in place of being bi."
Is he not getting them when you meet as a couple? I'm so confused lol
|
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Add one more vote to the “this sounds complicated and unfair” brigade.
If I were in a couple and swinging arrangements were that difficult, I’d either forgo the swinging - or the couple. Whichever was more important to me would be what I wanted to keep. |
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By *rigbyMan
over a year ago
Skelmersdale |
"You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.
A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair
B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead
C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people
D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.
Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.
Dave needs to get in the bin "
Oi! What did I do!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You couple up with someone.
You're bisexual they are straight.
You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....
A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.
B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.
C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.
D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.
What would you do and say to that?
Thoughts????
"
your in the wrong relationship nothing in common going to fail . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A) Does the bi one also get to meet solo with the opposite sex as well as same sex? It doesn't seem fair for the straight one to be able to meet whoever they want if the bi one doesn't too, irrespective of body parts.
B) point scorey.
C) point scorey.
D) I can kind of see that some people would feel uncomfortable with that. Makes me pleased that we're both bi and this isn't an issue.
Overall it seems far too controlling and restrictive for me.
Nell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've reread it and still feel it reads the exact matching sounds.
However, I should have asked what the arrangement with straight meets was. The sexuality aspect was focussed on a lot. Should the gender of whom one is meeting change it?
Was there a one pussy policy?/ |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So the majority think the woman should be free to fuck around with whoever she likes while the man sits at home like a lemon. Isn't Swinging great!
Why be in a couple if the 2 people want different things.
It could work if the guy was a cuckold and wanted a hot wife. He's not a dick if he's not a cuckold though."
I like your responses far. It's a shame people are responding to what you've put a bit more in depth.
If you're a straight guy you can't equal when she goes out with a woman, so you end up sat home twiddling your thumbs.
Your chances of being a male to another couple are ridiculously small compared to if she wants to be a woman to a couple. So naturally you just assume that's unlikely to happen for you but very likely for her. Again you're the one sat at home twiddling your thumbs.
FOMO becomes a thing as a male in the swinging world? It's not as easy as it easy for a female.
So it becomes a little point scoring based on the sheer fact that as you're the male and you're straight...truly straight, you're not going to be having as much fun and as you put in effect cuckold when that's not your agreed dynamic.
So how do you navigate it for it to be fair?
Does the fact she's not allowed a single male make the whole thing a one cock policy unless they play together as a couple and means he limits himself as it's only fair he doesn't have a single female. Or is it??
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So the majority think the woman should be free to fuck around with whoever she likes while the man sits at home like a lemon. Isn't Swinging great!
Why be in a couple if the 2 people want different things.
It could work if the guy was a cuckold and wanted a hot wife. He's not a dick if he's not a cuckold though.
I like your responses far. It's a shame people are responding to what you've put a bit more in depth.
If you're a straight guy you can't equal when she goes out with a woman, so you end up sat home twiddling your thumbs.
Your chances of being a male to another couple are ridiculously small compared to if she wants to be a woman to a couple. So naturally you just assume that's unlikely to happen for you but very likely for her. Again you're the one sat at home twiddling your thumbs.
FOMO becomes a thing as a male in the swinging world? It's not as easy as it easy for a female.
So it becomes a little point scoring based on the sheer fact that as you're the male and you're straight...truly straight, you're not going to be having as much fun and as you put in effect cuckold when that's not your agreed dynamic.
So how do you navigate it for it to be fair?
Does the fact she's not allowed a single male make the whole thing a one cock policy unless they play together as a couple and means he limits himself as it's only fair he doesn't have a single female. Or is it??
"
I still go back to concentrate on your dynamic / relationship . What happens outside of that is what it is...and it's certainly not a competition or a scoring chart. I find the obsession with numbers really strange. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So the majority think the woman should be free to fuck around with whoever she likes while the man sits at home like a lemon. Isn't Swinging great!
Why be in a couple if the 2 people want different things.
It could work if the guy was a cuckold and wanted a hot wife. He's not a dick if he's not a cuckold though.
I like your responses far. It's a shame people are responding to what you've put a bit more in depth.
If you're a straight guy you can't equal when she goes out with a woman, so you end up sat home twiddling your thumbs.
Your chances of being a male to another couple are ridiculously small compared to if she wants to be a woman to a couple. So naturally you just assume that's unlikely to happen for you but very likely for her. Again you're the one sat at home twiddling your thumbs.
FOMO becomes a thing as a male in the swinging world? It's not as easy as it easy for a female.
So it becomes a little point scoring based on the sheer fact that as you're the male and you're straight...truly straight, you're not going to be having as much fun and as you put in effect cuckold when that's not your agreed dynamic.
So how do you navigate it for it to be fair?
Does the fact she's not allowed a single male make the whole thing a one cock policy unless they play together as a couple and means he limits himself as it's only fair he doesn't have a single female. Or is it??
"
It's fair if both agree it's fair. Whatever the agreement is.
For a straight man swinging is indeed going to be difficult, unless in an agreed dynamic where he's happy she fucks around but he doesn't. Not necessarily cuckold. Perhaps he likes to watch and still be involved that way.
She could still have 3some experiences at parties or clubs with him present but not joining in. Or only meet as a couple with 4somes+.
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Gosh, the rules and tit-for-tat of that scenario sounds like a minefield.
We're both open and transparent, and notify each other if there is intended play outside the marriage (FWB's for example. We view own own autonomies over our own bodies as sacrosanct. I respect hers, she respects mine. She does what she wants with hers and I do what I wish with mine.
The Ethical Slut by Hardy and Easton goes in to much detail on arrangements of this calibre. |
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