FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Hello to ALL
Hello to ALL
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?
I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.
Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.
I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that
I know people don’t like the word “clique” but many years ago I was most probably part of it and now happily sit as a lone wolf never understanding why people complained of it, now I do, so here’s a post for ALL people to say hello on without feeling ignored by some. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?
I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.
Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.
I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that
I know people don’t like the word “clique” but many years ago I was most probably part of it and now happily sit as a lone wolf never understanding why people complained of it, now I do, so here’s a post for ALL people to say hello on without feeling ignored by some. "
Hiya! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hi OP. I re d to reply to people I’ve interacted with before, but try to open my comms to new people too. But I can’t (just time wise) acknowledge everyone all the time. "
No one can acknowledge all I totally get that but this place can be mighty intimidating for some to try and engage especially when constantly ignored.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Hi OP. I re d to reply to people I’ve interacted with before, but try to open my comms to new people too. But I can’t (just time wise) acknowledge everyone all the time.
No one can acknowledge all I totally get that but this place can be mighty intimidating for some to try and engage especially when constantly ignored.
"
I get that, I found that when I first started. Just keep going. Albeit I appreciate it’s easier for me as a woman and as I know some people here IRL. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If you come to try to fit in the clique you’ll find your experience disappointing. If you come to have a laugh, and entertain yourself you’ll find your experience more enjoyable.
Fuck the clique! Enjoy yourself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s online tone is extremely difficult to judge
People feel more comfortable judging the tone of those they know better
That’s about all there is too it really |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I always make a point of welcoming people who announce themselves as new.
It’s difficult because some people are very occasional posters and I find that with a lot of the threads in the lounge, there’s a rhythm. If people stay and contribute regularly, they probably find that tempo and mix in well.
There are a good number of us who have met at socials and the like, so there will always be ‘private’ jokes made. And people will always reference ‘that’ thread from last year.
It’s just how a community works. But I don’t believe anyone here sets out to make people feel unwelcome.
I would just recommend to new posters to keep coming and keep at it. Laugh off the silly shit and enjoy! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?
I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.
Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.
I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that
I know people don’t like the word “clique” but many years ago I was most probably part of it and now happily sit as a lone wolf never understanding why people complained of it, now I do, so here’s a post for ALL people to say hello on without feeling ignored by some. "
For myself, who is relatively new, this is a good observation.
When I joined here I was totally ignored. People jumping my comments and interacting with others. Whether it's subconscious from others, maybe.
I found it a little frustrating to start with, but a lot of people come here in short bursts to interact with their friends. The more you post, the more you get noticed.
Maybe a lot like familiarity and take comfort in that.
I'm quite stubborn so I persevered and it doesn't take long for people to start interacting with you. If people like you, they will interact with.
If you're a lady, they'll definitely interact with you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?
I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.
Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.
I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that
I know people don’t like the word “clique” but many years ago I was most probably part of it and now happily sit as a lone wolf never understanding why people complained of it, now I do, so here’s a post for ALL people to say hello on without feeling ignored by some.
For myself, who is relatively new, this is a good observation.
When I joined here I was totally ignored. People jumping my comments and interacting with others. Whether it's subconscious from others, maybe.
I found it a little frustrating to start with, but a lot of people come here in short bursts to interact with their friends. The more you post, the more you get noticed.
Maybe a lot like familiarity and take comfort in that.
I'm quite stubborn so I persevered and it doesn't take long for people to start interacting with you. If people like you, they will interact with.
If you're a lady, they'll definitely interact with you"
Sorry who is this? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I hear you. To me it feels less inclusive than I’ve ever seen. Maybe it’s because I’m not on here much and my heads in a different place. But I feel it’s less welcoming. "
•
Saffwrøng, that's because the clique/s have been replaced with new and improved 'friendship bubbles'. Less hot air than before but more effervescence...•°°* |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?
I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.
Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.
I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that
I know people don’t like the word “clique” but many years ago I was most probably part of it and now happily sit as a lone wolf never understanding why people complained of it, now I do, so here’s a post for ALL people to say hello on without feeling ignored by some.
For myself, who is relatively new, this is a good observation.
When I joined here I was totally ignored. People jumping my comments and interacting with others. Whether it's subconscious from others, maybe.
I found it a little frustrating to start with, but a lot of people come here in short bursts to interact with their friends. The more you post, the more you get noticed.
Maybe a lot like familiarity and take comfort in that.
I'm quite stubborn so I persevered and it doesn't take long for people to start interacting with you. If people like you, they will interact with.
If you're a lady, they'll definitely interact with you
Sorry who is this?"
Finally someone has responded to my comment  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I totally understand and accept that you have to “feel your way” into any social setting (no pun intended) and I include forums in this.
I also know that a lot of you meet in socials, I was part of that for a long time.
It’s interesting though what people are saying here.
Will things change? Most probably not. However for me I feel that if someone makes an effort to make a point on a thread that for me is well thought out then to see it passed by or taken off in multiple directions can detract from them interacting.
If you read comments on how men can get noticed on fab or anyone in general most times it mentions to interact in the forums |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?
I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.
Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.
I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that
I know people don’t like the word “clique” but many years ago I was most probably part of it and now happily sit as a lone wolf never understanding why people complained of it, now I do, so here’s a post for ALL people to say hello on without feeling ignored by some.
For myself, who is relatively new, this is a good observation.
When I joined here I was totally ignored. People jumping my comments and interacting with others. Whether it's subconscious from others, maybe.
I found it a little frustrating to start with, but a lot of people come here in short bursts to interact with their friends. The more you post, the more you get noticed.
Maybe a lot like familiarity and take comfort in that.
I'm quite stubborn so I persevered and it doesn't take long for people to start interacting with you. If people like you, they will interact with.
If you're a lady, they'll definitely interact with you
Sorry who is this?
Finally someone has responded to my comment "
Got your back jack! Or your willy, erm, willy  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?
I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.
Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.
I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that
I know people don’t like the word “clique” but many years ago I was most probably part of it and now happily sit as a lone wolf never understanding why people complained of it, now I do, so here’s a post for ALL people to say hello on without feeling ignored by some. "
If I’ve not responded to you on any of my threads I apologise. I have a scatter gun approach and don’t return to many threads I post in  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Good evening OP
I come and go from the forums (and fab) a lot.
You see new faces and also old faces. Some people dip in and out while others spend their whole day on here. Just do you, be yourself and have a laugh. There are also lots of other forums on here besides the lounge too. If all else fails, create a female profile and then you’ll be quids in |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?
I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.
Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.
I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that
I know people don’t like the word “clique” but many years ago I was most probably part of it and now happily sit as a lone wolf never understanding why people complained of it, now I do, so here’s a post for ALL people to say hello on without feeling ignored by some.
For myself, who is relatively new, this is a good observation.
When I joined here I was totally ignored. People jumping my comments and interacting with others. Whether it's subconscious from others, maybe.
I found it a little frustrating to start with, but a lot of people come here in short bursts to interact with their friends. The more you post, the more you get noticed.
Maybe a lot like familiarity and take comfort in that.
I'm quite stubborn so I persevered and it doesn't take long for people to start interacting with you. If people like you, they will interact with.
If you're a lady, they'll definitely interact with you
Sorry who is this?
Finally someone has responded to my comment
Got your back jack! Or your willy, erm, willy "
In only read your name as it should be the other day  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
They are definitely not inclusive as some try to make them out to be.
You can usually tell what threads are going to end up in a conversation between certain people which could be taken to DM's so I tend to avoid them.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hi.
I don't know if it's just me, but I don't comment in the hope of making friends or building relationship of any sort. As I don't expect it. I write on the forum if someone has posted something that I feel I want to reply to. I get my point across. Yes 99.9999999% the time the points get ignored, but I don't expect them to be replied to. If people read them, then great, if they don't it doesn't matter as I have said what I wanted to say. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Hello OP.
I think that inclusivity is great, of course I do. I also think that you shouldn't expect people to reply to every post in a thread, nor for everyone to get a response. For one, it's time consuming to reply to every poster. Equally. Like on this thread.
I do think that posters who persevere, who comment more are more likely to be seen, to be responded to. Is that always right? Not necessarily. And there can be a bias towards more conventionally attractive posters.
I try and reply to a mix of posters in my threads, those I know and those I don't. When I'm on here to have fun, I enjoy interacting with people whose sense of humour I know, where I don't have to worry about my comments being misconstrued etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've spoken before on here about how I posted off and on in the lounge for almost 18 months before a single comment was acknowledged and if it hadn't been for a better response in the Ireland forum I would have given up completely.
During those 18 months I also started approx 30 or 40 threads and not one of them received a single reply.
I've seen former forumites lauded as inclusive and welcoming and people saying how much they miss them.
Strangely I didn't find the private messages they sent me or the way they mocked me publicly very inclusive or welcoming so I'm delighted they are no longer able to post.
I'm not getting into the clique debate because the usual suspects will have their copy and paste replies at the ready.
Some people love the forums while some live for them.
I genuinely do wonder at times how some posters function beyond the walls of the forums because they seem to spend every waking minute starting threads and responding to most others.
I could say it's a little sad that they need such levels of validation but that might give the impression they are worthy of my empathy.
I will continue to post when I feel like it and while I accept that everyone has different experiences my experience in more than 4 years using the forums is that caring and sharing are just given lipservice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Those saying it's ok if you're female, I don't think that's the case. A certain number of women will always be mentioned or have questions asked of them in threads. The popularity contests.
It's worth being careful about which threads you join - makes quite a difference to the Fab experience. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've spoken before on here about how I posted off and on in the lounge for almost 18 months before a single comment was acknowledged and if it hadn't been for a better response in the Ireland forum I would have given up completely.
During those 18 months I also started approx 30 or 40 threads and not one of them received a single reply.
I've seen former forumites lauded as inclusive and welcoming and people saying how much they miss them.
Strangely I didn't find the private messages they sent me or the way they mocked me publicly very inclusive or welcoming so I'm delighted they are no longer able to post.
I'm not getting into the clique debate because the usual suspects will have their copy and paste replies at the ready.
Some people love the forums while some live for them.
I genuinely do wonder at times how some posters function beyond the walls of the forums because they seem to spend every waking minute starting threads and responding to most others.
I could say it's a little sad that they need such levels of validation but that might give the impression they are worthy of my empathy.
I will continue to post when I feel like it and while I accept that everyone has different experiences my experience in more than 4 years using the forums is that caring and sharing are just given lipservice. "
You said it so much better than me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've spoken before on here about how I posted off and on in the lounge for almost 18 months before a single comment was acknowledged and if it hadn't been for a better response in the Ireland forum I would have given up completely.
During those 18 months I also started approx 30 or 40 threads and not one of them received a single reply.
I've seen former forumites lauded as inclusive and welcoming and people saying how much they miss them.
Strangely I didn't find the private messages they sent me or the way they mocked me publicly very inclusive or welcoming so I'm delighted they are no longer able to post.
I'm not getting into the clique debate because the usual suspects will have their copy and paste replies at the ready.
Some people love the forums while some live for them.
I genuinely do wonder at times how some posters function beyond the walls of the forums because they seem to spend every waking minute starting threads and responding to most others.
I could say it's a little sad that they need such levels of validation but that might give the impression they are worthy of my empathy.
I will continue to post when I feel like it and while I accept that everyone has different experiences my experience in more than 4 years using the forums is that caring and sharing are just given lipservice. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?
I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.
Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.
I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that
I know people don’t like the word “clique” but many years ago I was most probably part of it and now happily sit as a lone wolf never understanding why people complained of it, now I do, so here’s a post for ALL people to say hello on without feeling ignored by some. "
Generally I think it is fine but at times it feels very cliquey and a small number of posters really reinforce this. The worst thing is when somebody who doesn’t post so much starts a thread and it quickly gets taken over by a few people who know each other making it about them and making various irrelevant in joke comments that are completely meaningless to anybody not in the know. Well that and somebody asking something serious and getting a barrage of sarcastic responses - yes you may have seen the topic before but new poster hasn’t. I’ve spoken to people I’ve met about Forum and the widespread view is that it is cliquey and one of reasons they don’t bother posting. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Those saying it's ok if you're female, I don't think that's the case. A certain number of women will always be mentioned or have questions asked of them in threads. The popularity contests.
It's worth being careful about which threads you join - makes quite a difference to the Fab experience. "
I get what you're saying but I do believe people will interact with you more. Maybe you'll get hounded with vile messages I don't know? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Those saying it's ok if you're female, I don't think that's the case. A certain number of women will always be mentioned or have questions asked of them in threads. The popularity contests.
It's worth being careful about which threads you join - makes quite a difference to the Fab experience.
I get what you're saying but I do believe people will interact with you more. Maybe you'll get hounded with vile messages I don't know?"
People will interact with me more? I don't follow. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don’t disagree with anyone’s personal experience of these forums. But for me personally, they’ve been a lifesaver at some of my darkest times. Quite literally a lifesaver. "
You are one of the lucky ones x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I don’t disagree with anyone’s personal experience of these forums. But for me personally, they’ve been a lifesaver at some of my darkest times. Quite literally a lifesaver. "
When the forums work they can work amazingly well and everyone uses them for different reasons and the “release” of daily life can be fantastic.
Sadly not all get that from them and over ma h years I have seen things written about and to others that I definitely hope no one would say to their face |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *avexxMan
over a year ago
cheshire |
"Hi.
I don't know if it's just me, but I don't comment in the hope of making friends or building relationship of any sort. As I don't expect it. I write on the forum if someone has posted something that I feel I want to reply to. I get my point across. Yes 99.9999999% the time the points get ignored, but I don't expect them to be replied to. If people read them, then great, if they don't it doesn't matter as I have said what I wanted to say. "
,,, this spot on,, |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I don’t disagree with anyone’s personal experience of these forums. But for me personally, they’ve been a lifesaver at some of my darkest times. Quite literally a lifesaver.
You are one of the lucky ones x"
It’s been a long process though. It wasn’t always good. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I don’t disagree with anyone’s personal experience of these forums. But for me personally, they’ve been a lifesaver at some of my darkest times. Quite literally a lifesaver.
When the forums work they can work amazingly well and everyone uses them for different reasons and the “release” of daily life can be fantastic.
Sadly not all get that from them and over ma h years I have seen things written about and to others that I definitely hope no one would say to their face "
I agree. I do get that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago
Iceland, but sainsburys is closer.. |
Used to comment in the forums regularly but then the posters of the "squirt or gush" and " hairy or shaved" threads were all ostrichsized..
After that it was all too high brow for my liking..
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Used to comment in the forums regularly but then the posters of the "squirt or gush" and " hairy or shaved" threads were all ostrichsized..
After that it was all too high brow for my liking..
"
Ostrichsized. That is genius!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hi everyone.
I do think you need to regularly comment if you want posts to be acknowledged and kind of get your face/avatar known.
Even then you won't have made an impact with everyone.
Just add your two pennies where you want and don't expect anything back. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi everyone.
I do think you need to regularly comment if you want posts to be acknowledged and kind of get your face/avatar known.
Even then you won't have made an impact with everyone.
Just add your two pennies where you want and don't expect anything back. "
I don't have a problem with that (but it's not my first rodeo...sorry... ) but I think single men particularly can find it pretty harsh at times. I don't have a solution. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago
Iceland, but sainsburys is closer.. |
"Used to comment in the forums regularly but then the posters of the "squirt or gush" and " hairy or shaved" threads were all ostrichsized..
After that it was all too high brow for my liking..
Ostrichsized. That is genius!!"
Tell that to the grammar nazis! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thank you all for your replies.
It is time for me to sleep. For those that know me it’s about 3 hours past my bed time ??
Not hit midnight yet..
Have a lie in "
Who will feed the chickens and ducks? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Used to comment in the forums regularly but then the posters of the "squirt or gush" and " hairy or shaved" threads were all ostrichsized..
After that it was all too high brow for my liking..
Ostrichsized. That is genius!!
Tell that to the grammar nazis! "
I'm a grammar Nazi and I love it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations. "
Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.
Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in "
How can I get in?   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Scotland/Sienna |
"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?
I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.
Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.
I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that
I know people don’t like the word “clique” but many years ago I was most probably part of it and now happily sit as a lone wolf never understanding why people complained of it, now I do, so here’s a post for ALL people to say hello on without feeling ignored by some. "
Of course you're either in or out of the forum cliques |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thank you all for your replies.
It is time for me to sleep. For those that know me it’s about 3 hours past my bed time ??
Not hit midnight yet..
Have a lie in
Who will feed the chickens and ducks?"
I will gladly… once I get the freshest egg breakfast and a cup of tea
(Who said romance was dead) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?
I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.
Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.
I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that
I know people don’t like the word “clique” but many years ago I was most probably part of it and now happily sit as a lone wolf never understanding why people complained of it, now I do, so here’s a post for ALL people to say hello on without feeling ignored by some. Of course you're either in or out of the forum cliques "
I'm definitely not a sheep (well maybe the black one) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.
Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in "
Oh no not the clique. I reckon I can handle it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.
Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in
Oh no not the clique. I reckon I can handle it. "
I'll get my pom poms out and cheer you on |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.
Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in
Oh no not the clique. I reckon I can handle it.
I'll get my pom poms out and cheer you on "
Please do. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago
Deepest darkest Peru |
Hey OP I see you and welcome
I comment on a variety of threads and I’m a pretty inclusive person but yes I do notice on some threads I may not get responded to but the majority of other forum users do but that’s there prerogative I’m not gonna lose sleep sleep over it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Op, the forum is inclusive, because the website is. You may find some people stick with their friends and some threads might already not be as inclusive as you’d hope. 
I’m not, I just want to talk to the hotties. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No random internet people never talk to me. It’s get me so down and so low that to make myself feel better, I go out and skin cats.
The mr "
^ I ignore this dude, because he’s not a hottie. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No random internet people never talk to me. It’s get me so down and so low that to make myself feel better, I go out and skin cats.
The mr
^ I ignore this dude, because he’s not a hottie. "
See what I mean, this level of disrespect is all I get on here. Think I might have to delete my profile, they’ll be none left soon, poor cats.
The mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've spoken before on here about how I posted off and on in the lounge for almost 18 months before a single comment was acknowledged and if it hadn't been for a better response in the Ireland forum I would have given up completely.
During those 18 months I also started approx 30 or 40 threads and not one of them received a single reply.
I've seen former forumites lauded as inclusive and welcoming and people saying how much they miss them.
Strangely I didn't find the private messages they sent me or the way they mocked me publicly very inclusive or welcoming so I'm delighted they are no longer able to post.
I'm not getting into the clique debate because the usual suspects will have their copy and paste replies at the ready.
Some people love the forums while some live for them.
I genuinely do wonder at times how some posters function beyond the walls of the forums because they seem to spend every waking minute starting threads and responding to most others.
I could say it's a little sad that they need such levels of validation but that might give the impression they are worthy of my empathy.
I will continue to post when I feel like it and while I accept that everyone has different experiences my experience in more than 4 years using the forums is that caring and sharing are just given lipservice. "
Completely agree with this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I hear you. To me it feels less inclusive than I’ve ever seen. Maybe it’s because I’m not on here much and my heads in a different place. But I feel it’s less welcoming.
•
Saffwrøng, that's because the clique/s have been replaced with new and improved 'friendship bubbles'. Less hot air than before but more effervescence...•°°*"
This is adorable!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.
Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.
Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in
"
Haha. … or they normally start a thread. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Cheeseville, Somerset |
"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?
I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.
Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.
I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that
I know people don’t like the word “clique” but many years ago I was most probably part of it and now happily sit as a lone wolf never understanding why people complained of it, now I do, so here’s a post for ALL people to say hello on without feeling ignored by some. "
I've been here 16 years and plenty of my comments don't get responses. OP
Don't sweat it.
Just post and be damned. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.
Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in
Haha. … or they normally start a thread. "
They all veri each other... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.
Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in
Haha. … or they normally start a thread.
They all veri each other... "
I only veri my friends…. Oh wait. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.
Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in
Haha. … or they normally start a thread.
They all veri each other...
I only veri my friends…. Oh wait. "
*waves* |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
The forums are far from inclusive for a lot of people I have found over the years.
While yes usually the more you post the better known you are as a poster on here but posting does not equate popularity,despite what some think.
Yes there are groups on here who completely ignore others and just chat within their own group. There are plenty others who just pop in and out and post on the few threads that take their interest. I would be one of those.
But they are definitely not inclusive and they are very much more in favour of women who post than men on here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think the forums are representative of any social group. Over the years I've attended many already established groups, people en masse are unfriendly, exclusive and will stick with the people they know unless there's someone who is willing to welcome newcomers and that's fairly unusual.
There are at least some on these forums who will make an effort with newcomers but as with 'real life' if those new people happen to be a little awkward, not great at articulating what they want to say or just a little 'different' they're not going to get a lot of interaction. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
A late hello from me.
Unfortunately it's a myth that the longer you hang around the forum the more people will engage with you.
I know that I'm ignored by many and tolerated by few but I'm OK with that.
Marc |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The thing I find with any online forum is that you need to break in. People are more likely to engage with faces or names they recognise. It takes a concerted effort to become a recognised name.
There are some longstanding friendships in here and people will revert to form. Some more than others. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think your experience on the forums depends on many factors - time here, how interactive you are and whether you have boobs or not
My posts are, in the main, ignored but I don’t really post for constant interaction or validation - I think if you use the forums for your benefit and don’t worry about what others do then you’ll get a much better experience from it.
I know when C’s been online from the message box being more yellows
K |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I always make a point of welcoming people who announce themselves as new.
It’s difficult because some people are very occasional posters and I find that with a lot of the threads in the lounge, there’s a rhythm. If people stay and contribute regularly, they probably find that tempo and mix in well.
There are a good number of us who have met at socials and the like, so there will always be ‘private’ jokes made. And people will always reference ‘that’ thread from last year.
It’s just how a community works. But I don’t believe anyone here sets out to make people feel unwelcome.
I would just recommend to new posters to keep coming and keep at it. Laugh off the silly shit and enjoy!"
Do you not think that some people (like me) end up as occasional posters because when they do post, and it is 'ignored', they feel like it's not worth posting? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I always make a point of welcoming people who announce themselves as new.
It’s difficult because some people are very occasional posters and I find that with a lot of the threads in the lounge, there’s a rhythm. If people stay and contribute regularly, they probably find that tempo and mix in well.
There are a good number of us who have met at socials and the like, so there will always be ‘private’ jokes made. And people will always reference ‘that’ thread from last year.
It’s just how a community works. But I don’t believe anyone here sets out to make people feel unwelcome.
I would just recommend to new posters to keep coming and keep at it. Laugh off the silly shit and enjoy!
Do you not think that some people (like me) end up as occasional posters because when they do post, and it is 'ignored', they feel like it's not worth posting? "
I don't think there's a way round that. I'm an occasional poster these days. You either accept that or become a more regular poster. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
There are at least some on these forums who will make an effort with newcomers but as with 'real life' if those new people happen to be a little awkward, not great at articulating what they want to say or just a little 'different' they're not going to get a lot of interaction. "
Don’t worry people - if you’re not getting much interaction on here, it’s because you’re one of the above.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I always make a point of welcoming people who announce themselves as new.
It’s difficult because some people are very occasional posters and I find that with a lot of the threads in the lounge, there’s a rhythm. If people stay and contribute regularly, they probably find that tempo and mix in well.
There are a good number of us who have met at socials and the like, so there will always be ‘private’ jokes made. And people will always reference ‘that’ thread from last year.
It’s just how a community works. But I don’t believe anyone here sets out to make people feel unwelcome.
I would just recommend to new posters to keep coming and keep at it. Laugh off the silly shit and enjoy!
Do you not think that some people (like me) end up as occasional posters because when they do post, and it is 'ignored', they feel like it's not worth posting? "
I think that's a self-perpetuating cycle. The less people post, the less people are likely to interact, because people are more likely to interact with people they know. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
not local even if it says I am |
"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?
I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.
Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.
I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that
I know people don’t like the word “clique” but many years ago I was most probably part of it and now happily sit as a lone wolf never understanding why people complained of it, now I do, so here’s a post for ALL people to say hello on without feeling ignored by some.
If I’ve not responded to you on any of my threads I apologise. I have a scatter gun approach and don’t return to many threads I post in "
Also, this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
There are at least some on these forums who will make an effort with newcomers but as with 'real life' if those new people happen to be a little awkward, not great at articulating what they want to say or just a little 'different' they're not going to get a lot of interaction.
Don’t worry people - if you’re not getting much interaction on here, it’s because you’re one of the above. "
I worded that badly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
There are at least some on these forums who will make an effort with newcomers but as with 'real life' if those new people happen to be a little awkward, not great at articulating what they want to say or just a little 'different' they're not going to get a lot of interaction.
Don’t worry people - if you’re not getting much interaction on here, it’s because you’re one of the above.
I worded that badly. "
I think most people can see that you're very inclusive on the forums though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
There are at least some on these forums who will make an effort with newcomers but as with 'real life' if those new people happen to be a little awkward, not great at articulating what they want to say or just a little 'different' they're not going to get a lot of interaction.
Don’t worry people - if you’re not getting much interaction on here, it’s because you’re one of the above.
I worded that badly.
I think most people can see that you're very inclusive on the forums though. "
I try to be but that was more me trying to point out that if someone comes on and doesn't understand how things work round here they're more likely to be ignored or flamed than taken under someone's wing and given a few pointers. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you come to try to fit in the clique you’ll find your experience disappointing. If you come to have a laugh, and entertain yourself you’ll find your experience more enjoyable.
Fuck the clique! Enjoy yourself. "
This!
Miss S x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There are so many posters who are not part of “the clique” though. Who often fly under the radar because folk are too busy bemoaning the clique.
Focus on the many and not just the few - you’ll have a better experience. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?
I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.
Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.
I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that
I know people don’t like the word “clique” but many years ago I was most probably part of it and now happily sit as a lone wolf never understanding why people complained of it, now I do, so here’s a post for ALL people to say hello on without feeling ignored by some. "
You certainly aren't the first to mention this and from the outside looking in there are definitely groups offsite which crossover here, it's pretty apparent when you observe dynamics. It's no wonder people see cliques, again you are not the first to notice it, it's been an age old thing since long before time
Newbies do get shot down quite a lot and no, in truth I don't think it is as friendly to some as others claim it to be because everyone's experiences differ
As for me I could not give a flying shite what people think of me, I will add something to a thread if I can. If people respond great, if not then it's no bother. Fab is after all a pastime not a lifestyle
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
- Xeno
