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Stupid F#cking Names... for Weans!
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I heard, from a social worker colleague, many moons ago, that a Glasgow mammy named her twin girls...
Dolce...
And (yes..!)
Gabbana.
So, why not drop the filth for a wee while Fabbers, and post all the stupid fucking names you've heard, for weans!
Or 'children/kiddie-winkles'. If you must  |
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Not quite what your asking but one of my favourite live television moments is when Katie Hopkins was on a daytime show and she criticised people for naming their children after places. It was immediately pointed out to her that her daughter's name was India... |
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"Dane, Dwayne, Sean and Shane were a real set of kids when I was growing up. Fucking classic "
We had a Wayne, Shayne, Tracey & Stacey, and another family were Sue and Steve (parents) with Sarah, Sophie and Suzy.
At least in the UK, we don’t often have the American thing of giving sons the same name as their father over multiple generations though! |
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"I once saw a Harley street doctor whose name was Hugh Koch…. Pronounced cock.. I barely kept a straight face when I went in to see him.. "
Should've read about changing that via Deed Poll.
Fucking Harley Street wanker.
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"Chardonnay and Portia"
This is (genuinely), one I heard about just in the past few weeks...
Beautiful wee baby boy. Dad gets the honour of naming him, apparently in no small part because mum's still a bit 'out of it' after the birth... Fair enough.
(Married) parents surname?
Kane.
Daddy's choice of name?
Ko.
Destined for the divorce court?!
 |
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"Not so much a daft name, just a daft way of spelling it.....
Looeezze. Pronounced Louise. That mother needed a slap "
Fucksake
I actually have a colleague whose name is spelled...
'Amiee'.
Because clearly, 'Amy' wasn't good enough. |
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"Not so much a daft name, just a daft way of spelling it.....
Looeezze. Pronounced Louise. That mother needed a slap
Fucksake
I actually have a colleague whose name is spelled...
'Amiee'.
Because clearly, 'Amy' wasn't good enough. "
There's a lot to be said for those countries that have a pre approved list of names to choose from. |
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By *cflirtyMan 3 weeks ago
Hampshire/Surrey |
"Dane, Dwayne, Sean and Shane were a real set of kids when I was growing up. Fucking classic
We had a Wayne, Shayne, Tracey & Stacey, and another family were Sue and Steve (parents) with Sarah, Sophie and Suzy.
At least in the UK, we don’t often have the American thing of giving sons the same name as their father over multiple generations though!"
Oh I dunno !!!
My daughters friend has a little girl Danii and boy Dannie and yep you can guess dad's name.. Danny |
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"Not so much a daft name, just a daft way of spelling it.....
Looeezze. Pronounced Louise. That mother needed a slap
Fucksake
I actually have a colleague whose name is spelled...
'Amiee'.
Because clearly, 'Amy' wasn't good enough.
There's a lot to be said for those countries that have a pre approved list of names to choose from. "
Aye, fair point, but those countries will possibly/probably be either heavily religious, or have an authoritarian Communist/Socialist government.
Oh. Wait a minute. Just remembered I live in Scotland.
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"Not so much a daft name, just a daft way of spelling it.....
Looeezze. Pronounced Louise. That mother needed a slap
Fucksake
I actually have a colleague whose name is spelled...
'Amiee'.
Because clearly, 'Amy' wasn't good enough.
There's a lot to be said for those countries that have a pre approved list of names to choose from.
Aye, fair point, but those countries will possibly/probably be either heavily religious, or have an authoritarian Communist/Socialist government.
Oh. Wait a minute. Just remembered I live in Scotland.
"
Nah. Denmark have that system. Not so different from Scotland, really. Both cold, dark & wet
* I jest. I  Scotland x |
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"Not so much a daft name, just a daft way of spelling it.....
Looeezze. Pronounced Louise. That mother needed a slap
Fucksake
I actually have a colleague whose name is spelled...
'Amiee'.
Because clearly, 'Amy' wasn't good enough.
There's a lot to be said for those countries that have a pre approved list of names to choose from.
Aye, fair point, but those countries will possibly/probably be either heavily religious, or have an authoritarian Communist/Socialist government.
Oh. Wait a minute. Just remembered I live in Scotland.
Nah. Denmark have that system. Not so different from Scotland, really. Both cold, dark & wet
* I jest. I Scotland x"
No need to jest 
The Danes' government? Interesting, but I'll say no more haha...
Scotland? Devolution?
A bad fucking joke.
Anyhoo..!
Tits, arse, fanny, Cock-Ring... Fab
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"I worked with a lady called Vivienne who had four sisters called Vanessa, Victoria, Valerie and Veronica."
How do they know who's post is who's...if they are all addressed to Miss V Smith? (Smith just used as a surname example) |
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"I heard, from a social worker colleague, many moons ago, that a Glasgow mammy named her twin girls...
Dolce...
And (yes..!)
Gabbana.
So, why not drop the filth for a wee while Fabbers, and post all the stupid fucking names you've heard, for weans!
Or 'children/kiddie-winkles'. If you must "
I used to work in maternity and a lady called her baby girl Chlamydia..  |
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"I heard, from a social worker colleague, many moons ago, that a Glasgow mammy named her twin girls...
Dolce...
And (yes..!)
Gabbana.
So, why not drop the filth for a wee while Fabbers, and post all the stupid fucking names you've heard, for weans!
Or 'children/kiddie-winkles'. If you must "
I remember hearing in the news a few years back about a mother who called her child "Chlamydia"... I think they were in Hull.
Cal |
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Heard a woman complaining at a zoo that they had nothing for sale with her strangely named daughters name on in the gift shop. Proper kicking off she was. Said the zoo gift shop was discriminatory to her daughter and was threatening to call the police. |
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"I worked with a lady called Vivienne who had four sisters called Vanessa, Victoria, Valerie and Veronica.
How do they know who's post is who's...if they are all addressed to Miss V Smith? (Smith just used as a surname example)"
Excellent question. No idea. |
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"Heard a woman complaining at a zoo that they had nothing for sale with her strangely named daughters name on in the gift shop. Proper kicking off she was. Said the zoo gift shop was discriminatory to her daughter and was threatening to call the police. "
Do you remember what her name was?
Let's guess...
Fanny?
Child Number 3?
Something in Klingon?
Hashtag? |
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I've seen a few but
Khaleesi and Lazer take some beating ( obviously not literally) but FFS people should have to have an IQ test before being allowed to reproduce.
But let's be honest ridiculous names seem to be something the rich and famous revell in |
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"Not so much a daft name, just a daft way of spelling it.....
Looeezze. Pronounced Louise. That mother needed a slap
Fucksake
I actually have a colleague whose name is spelled...
'Amiee'.
Because clearly, 'Amy' wasn't good enough.
There's a lot to be said for those countries that have a pre approved list of names to choose from.
Aye, fair point, but those countries will possibly/probably be either heavily religious, or have an authoritarian Communist/Socialist government.
Oh. Wait a minute. Just remembered I live in Scotland.
"
Haha welcome to humzas scotland, come in sit down and keep your mouth shut |
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By *929Man 2 weeks ago
newcastle |
When I was at school there was a lad who had 3 middle names 2 of which were oobridge and morton
Can’t really remember the bad ones when my kids were young as was ages ago but there was a few now I avoid being around kids so haven’t heard any for a while
If I had my way my son would be called John like I am and like my dad was but ex said 3 of us would be too much so John was his middle name instead |
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"Not so much a daft name, just a daft way of spelling it.....
Looeezze. Pronounced Louise. That mother needed a slap
Fucksake
I actually have a colleague whose name is spelled...
'Amiee'.
Because clearly, 'Amy' wasn't good enough.
There's a lot to be said for those countries that have a pre approved list of names to choose from.
Aye, fair point, but those countries will possibly/probably be either heavily religious, or have an authoritarian Communist/Socialist government.
Oh. Wait a minute. Just remembered I live in Scotland.
Haha welcome to humzas scotland, come in sit down and keep your mouth shut "
Might be in my own flat, but don't grass me up |
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The wife of my former manager worked in a local maternity unit. She told us a Mrs Kirton had a girl and called her Annette. Another one she told us was a Mrs Mycock who named her son Aaron.
Some people really need a slap!!
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I grew up near a girl called Teresa Green and an ex had an aunt called Fanny Duce 
I am also aware of more than one Muslim family where all the boys were named Mohammed... they all used their middle names. |
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I had a Muslim friend whose parents gave him and his brothers English first names and Muslim middle names. They could then chose which they wanted to use. My friend used his middle name but his 2 older brothers were Roger and Norman!
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"I grew up near a girl called Teresa Green and an ex had an aunt called Fanny Duce
I am also aware of more than one Muslim family where all the boys were named Mohammed... they all used their middle names."
Gotta love Fanny Duce |
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A girl I knew at school has twin girls, she called them Destiny and Diamond.
I'll also add, she gave them her last name which happens to be a common slang word for vagina, I'll let you all consider what it could be so I'm not putting the full names on here. |
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"A girl I knew at school has twin girls, she called them Destiny and Diamond.
I'll also add, she gave them her last name which happens to be a common slang word for vagina, I'll let you all consider what it could be so I'm not putting the full names on here. "
Cunt ? |
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"I heard, from a social worker colleague, many moons ago, that a Glasgow mammy named her twin girls...
Dolce...
And (yes..!)
Gabbana.
So, why not drop the filth for a wee while Fabbers, and post all the stupid fucking names you've heard, for weans!
Or 'children/kiddie-winkles'. If you must "
I have a Glasgow mammy who called her girls Sandra and Carol. What was wrong with her? |
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"Heard a woman complaining at a zoo that they had nothing for sale with her strangely named daughters name on in the gift shop. Proper kicking off she was. Said the zoo gift shop was discriminatory to her daughter and was threatening to call the police. "
All these posts that don't reveal what the given name was?? So many of us won't be able to sleep  |
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"I heard, from a social worker colleague, many moons ago, that a Glasgow mammy named her twin girls...
Dolce...
And (yes..!)
Gabbana.
So, why not drop the filth for a wee while Fabbers, and post all the stupid fucking names you've heard, for weans!
Or 'children/kiddie-winkles'. If you must
I have a Glasgow mammy who called her girls Sandra and Carol. What was wrong with her?"
FAR too fucking weird. Kids must be ashamed |
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"Not quite what your asking but one of my favourite live television moments is when Katie Hopkins was on a daytime show and she criticised people for naming their children after places. It was immediately pointed out to her that her daughter's name was India..."
what a dopey cow she is |
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"Not quite what your asking but one of my favourite live television moments is when Katie Hopkins was on a daytime show and she criticised people for naming their children after places. It was immediately pointed out to her that her daughter's name was India...
what a dopey cow she is "
If I remember rightly, she also said she hated it when people named their kids after flowers. Her other daughter is called….. Poppy   |
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"Not quite what your asking but one of my favourite live television moments is when Katie Hopkins was on a daytime show and she criticised people for naming their children after places. It was immediately pointed out to her that her daughter's name was India...
what a dopey cow she is
If I remember rightly, she also said she hated it when people named their kids after flowers. Her other daughter is called….. Poppy "
ROFL FFS |
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My ex wife was an optometrist (the people who do eye tests at opticians)
She once had a customer called Dr Panchaud.
The Asians among you, say it in Punjabi.
In Punjabi it's a common swear word translation is sister fucker. |
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"I heard, from a social worker colleague, many moons ago, that a Glasgow mammy named her twin girls...
Dolce...
And (yes..!)
Gabbana.
So, why not drop the filth for a wee while Fabbers, and post all the stupid fucking names you've heard, for weans!
Or 'children/kiddie-winkles'. If you must "
A sister of a kid I taught was called Tequila-Paris... |
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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"I worked with a lady called Vivienne who had four sisters called Vanessa, Victoria, Valerie and Veronica.
How do they know who's post is who's...if they are all addressed to Miss V Smith? (Smith just used as a surname example)"
Had this exact same issue at home I’m Terry Richard brother Tony Ronald made even worse as we both worked at same company for few years. |
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There was a story in the news recently where a man suggested to his wife calling their baby daughter Lanesra. She loved it and agreed, thinking, 'what a lovely, unique name.' The girl got to toddler age before the husband confessed he suggested it because it's spelt 'Arsenal' backwards.
Naming your kid after people in the public eye or film/tv show characters is also cringey. It was hilarious when people were calling their babies Danaerys from Game of Thrones only for the character to turn into a war criminal in one fell swoop and murder more people than all of the worst villains in the show put together.
I know someone who called their daughter Saoirse which is an Irish name pronounced 'Sersha' and she tells everyone it's spelt the same but pronounced 'Shareece'. Always makes me laugh that she wills the name to be something else, when she should have just given her the phonetic spelling in the first place to stop errors. |
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