FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What are people truly upset about?
What are people truly upset about?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
Is it really about not getting a reply?
Or is feeling like sex is being denied?
Just in case your wondering.. I'm asking because I can't believe that people are upset/bothered about another person not responding to an introductory message?!
I genuinely want to understand.
Thanks in advance and if nobody responds to this post, I might begin to understand!!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Assuming a person or couple has put a bit of effort in to a first message then I imagine it's because they feel they have out themselves out there. I'm guessing it would feel like they are being blanked and that's frustrating.
Now if someone just sends a single word or zero effort message then I've no idea why they would be upset. What did they expect?
That's just my pondering. We've never been bothered if someone didn't message us.
Mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I can only guess myself, but I suspect that in some cases it's a mindset of "effort out should equal effort in". They feel that they've taken the time to craft a lovely message that addresses all the beats of the profile and took them a while to think of the perfect words for, and can't handle the reality that this is absolutely no guarantee of a favourable result.
Unfortunately, when people can't handle a reality, they can get rather in their feelings about it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It’s men isn’t it? Were talking about men here. I think men get upset about not getting replies because they’re entitled little babies who aren’t emotionally equipped to handle not getting what they want. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s men isn’t it? Were talking about men here. I think men get upset about not getting replies because they’re entitled little babies who aren’t emotionally equipped to handle not getting what they want."
*Some men |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
|
I have never been upset nor would I waste the emotional energy of not getting a reply on someone stopping talking to me
I imagine and can only imagine that some people feel that not getting a reply is rude, despite it being clearly stated a reply is a no thank you
I just think if they get so upset over a message what would happen if you did meet them and it didn’t turn out the way they had hoped
What I will add and maybe more a minority but this trait is not wholeheartedly done by men |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *P994Man 48 weeks ago
Travelling |
I think there’s a multitude of factors, some have an entitlement issue like they think they deserve a reply or response no matter what and also there’s the fact some people can’t handle rejection well because they’ve maybe not faced it as much as on here. Ironically if either of those are traits you’re probably better off not being on fab or in swinging in general as you’re cutting your nose to spite your face but you still see it a lot anyway. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s men isn’t it? Were talking about men here. I think men get upset about not getting replies because they’re entitled little babies who aren’t emotionally equipped to handle not getting what they want."
Not entirely. Some women and couple behave equally vile when their message isnt replied to or exhibit entitled behaviour. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think it's just that all us fat ugly slags won't put out for their beautifully and thoughtfully crafted wank fodder and FAF messages.
Imagine how upset they'd be if someone they were actually attracted to said no💜 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s men isn’t it? Were talking about men here. I think men get upset about not getting replies because they’re entitled little babies who aren’t emotionally equipped to handle not getting what they want.
Not entirely. Some women and couple behave equally vile when their message isnt replied to or exhibit entitled behaviour. "
Couples have been the worst in our experience but that could be the man of the couple so the point still stands. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
Thank you so much for all of the replies!
Going by what I've read, it's an ego thing.
I agree with those that have stated, that if they behave like this over not getting a reply, then what are they like with real issues.
It's actually quite worrying.
I may feel hurt or disappointed when some suddenly disappears but then I'm relieved because I don't want to be with anyone who hasn't got the ability to communicate. I don't care for the reason either. It's cowardly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I wouldn't say upset, but annoyed maybe. And we are quite lucky to have had lots of fun with ellusive unicorns x
I do all the fabmin, I spend time typing a message to someone making sure it's interesting and relevant to the receiver. Making sure it's witty and fun and making sure to be constructive and imaginative too. So generally putting a lot of thought and effort into writing a great first message. To have the receiver read it and not reply. It would be nice to get a quick 1 liner back thanking me at least for making an effort even if they are not interested.
I understand women get a lot of messages and most will be crap 1 line messages that don't deserve a reply due to lack of effort, but I feel it good manners to reply to the well constructed messages at least. Not bitter and certainly not moaning, but if someone makes an effort to stand out and words an articulate message it should at least warrant a thanks but not for me reply. I have a single profile and reply to all well constructed messages at least to say thanks for the effort but it's a polite no. I get alot of messages but few are well worded so its easy to reply to all that are.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't send messages and haven't done so since the beginning of 2020 so any conversations I've had since have been initiated by others.
I've never needed sex so I wouldn't care or even notice if a stranger on the internet was denying me access to it.
My experiences on fab have included a number of people, mostly couples but also a few single women who are of the opinion that men on here don't have options and should therefore be grateful for any attention they receive.
I have been given lists of instructions in opening messages of everything I have to do if I wish to fuck the wife or be added to their to-do lists.(Their words, not mine)
I find they get extremely angry when I say no almost as if they don't understand the meaning of the word or aren't used to hearing it.
I've been called an idiot, told it was my loss and asked if I really didn't know who they were and their standing on fab.
I've also been told that they could end my fab journey with a few well placed messages.
This approach obviously works for them because these were all profiles with 60-100 verifications. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Just to clarify, I've never sent a nasty message to anyone when not received a reply. Just commenting on how it can be slightly annoying at most. Nobody has to do anything they don't want to but I feel manners are a basic courtesy that is a dying standard with people today. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
Thanks again for the recent replies. Lol at the Danger Mouse one btw!
Also, everyone who has replied, I can probably assume isn't likely to be one of those who fits into my post questions! So just saying as an observation and to the Mrs who felt the need to clarify.
I understand the point about well thought out messages getting a reply. I don't get loads of those but when I do, they always get a reply. Because it's really appreciated that someone did use their time in that way, it says a lot. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thanks again for the recent replies. Lol at the Danger Mouse one btw!
Also, everyone who has replied, I can probably assume isn't likely to be one of those who fits into my post questions! So just saying as an observation and to the Mrs who felt the need to clarify.
I understand the point about well thought out messages getting a reply. I don't get loads of those but when I do, they always get a reply. Because it's really appreciated that someone did use their time in that way, it says a lot."
I send my initial messages in profile-specific double rhyming couplets, so not only do I have to read the entire thing, I then have to think up two sets of rhyming words for every line I write about it. XD Only had a couple of replies so far, but that's better than 0. Unfortunately there have been a couple of cases where someone who would otherwise have been interested has ruled me out because I'm married. C'est la vie! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
|
I tend to not care. If I care I’m usually in a bad or insecure headspace. And lack of replies or matches on apps etc usually affirms the bad thoughts in my head about being ugly, unattractive, undesirable etc. All of that is my problem and not the person’s fault. And so I leave it and sit with my own feelings rather than to project that onto someone that dared to not fancy me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"I'm upset that they have totally ruined a box of roses, they're absolutely disgusting now.
Also ruined galaxy.  "
LOL!!!!
This is clearly how someone gets my attention - messaging about unrelated topics!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"I tend to not care. If I care I’m usually in a bad or insecure headspace. And lack of replies or matches on apps etc usually affirms the bad thoughts in my head about being ugly, unattractive, undesirable etc. All of that is my problem and not the person’s fault. And so I leave it and sit with my own feelings rather than to project that onto someone that dared to not fancy me. "
This can't be nice, but don't let a no or no reply, ruin your mood or day. None of us are worthy of that!!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"I'm upset that they have totally ruined a box of roses, they're absolutely disgusting now.
Also ruined galaxy.
And don't even get me started on Marathon and Opal Fruits."
*Shakes head* |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"Because it's frustrating isn't it? I don't think I'd cope with that much rejection.
If the numbers weren't so skewed it would be a more even playing field."
Everyone deals with rejection in some form. I wonder how many of these people rejected others on here or in person? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is it really about not getting a reply?
Or is feeling like sex is being denied?
Just in case your wondering.. I'm asking because I can't believe that people are upset/bothered about another person not responding to an introductory message?!
I genuinely want to understand.
Thanks in advance and if nobody responds to this post, I might begin to understand!!! "
It depends on if you come from Leeds, Manchester or Southport! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *cLovin2Man 48 weeks ago
West Drayton |
"I'm upset that they have totally ruined a box of roses, they're absolutely disgusting now.
Also ruined galaxy.
And don't even get me started on Marathon and Opal Fruits."
They at least taste ok, but galaxy, roses and quality street ruined. It's a scandal I tells ya.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *cLovin2Man 48 weeks ago
West Drayton |
"I'm upset that they have totally ruined a box of roses, they're absolutely disgusting now.
Also ruined galaxy.
LOL!!!!
This is clearly how someone gets my attention - messaging about unrelated topics!!! "
Darlin, there's no more important topic in my life than this.
Ok maybe occasionally emptying my ball sack, but this is a close second.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"I'm upset that they have totally ruined a box of roses, they're absolutely disgusting now.
Also ruined galaxy.
LOL!!!!
This is clearly how someone gets my attention - messaging about unrelated topics!!!
Darlin, there's no more important topic in my life than this.
Ok maybe occasionally emptying my ball sack, but this is a close second. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *essTTWoman 48 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"It’s men isn’t it? Were talking about men here. I think men get upset about not getting replies because they’re entitled little babies who aren’t emotionally equipped to handle not getting what they want."
Not just men, some women and couples like this as well |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't know what the real issue is for each individual.
I imagine that if I spent a lot of time messaging people and got nothing back I'd feel rejected in the same way I would if I walked into a room full of strangers, introduced myself and they all ignored me.
I think it's very easy to say people who get upset about not receiving replies should get over it, toughen up or just accept it but that's dismissive of very real feelings of rejection.
So, I think the real reason is that nobody enjoys rejection or should I say the perception of being rejected and that's what causes upset |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Because they somehow think a no thanks is better than a no reply, it's not it still bruises their poor little egos, the level of self entitlement by some here is ridiculous - but hey it's a sex site right (the excuse for everything) you have vagina I have cock so why not 🙄
I've never been more put off men (& yes not all) but most that message and get a no thank you turn into spoilt little children they've turned me strictly vagiterian!
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan 48 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I suppose I've always looked at it this way. It's no different to any other kind of marketing.
I get a lot of junk emails and good old postal junk mail.
Some of it is very well designed, looks great, contains key bullet point info about the product/service, some very well taken photos to show me what's on offer and in all honesty what's being marketed would be ideal for someone. Someone else. Not me though.
Because I don't need gardening services as I live in a flat. I don't need to see photos of Chinese food because I don't eat it (much prefer Indian). And I sure as hell don't need any contact from childcare providers.
All these companies have put time and effort into messages that will appeal to some. Just not me.
So it's effort wasted on me and I don't feel compelled to reply to any of them, despite all the care and attention that's gone into their marketing.
Even when I receive something that's for a product or service that I am potentially interested in, I'll look into it further before deciding whether to get in touch. I'll look at a website, check product specifications and also reviews. It's very rare that I ever choose to get in touch.
And never just to say no thanks.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I wouldn't say upset, but annoyed maybe. And we are quite lucky to have had lots of fun with ellusive unicorns x
I do all the fabmin, I spend time typing a message to someone making sure it's interesting and relevant to the receiver. Making sure it's witty and fun and making sure to be constructive and imaginative too. So generally putting a lot of thought and effort into writing a great first message. To have the receiver read it and not reply. It would be nice to get a quick 1 liner back thanking me at least for making an effort even if they are not interested.
I understand women get a lot of messages and most will be crap 1 line messages that don't deserve a reply due to lack of effort, but I feel it good manners to reply to the well constructed messages at least. Not bitter and certainly not moaning, but if someone makes an effort to stand out and words an articulate message it should at least warrant a thanks but not for me reply. I have a single profile and reply to all well constructed messages at least to say thanks for the effort but it's a polite no. I get alot of messages but few are well worded so its easy to reply to all that are.
Mrs "
I didn't really get it. Our couples profile gets a few messages every week. A few more again if there's a new photo. We don't have filters.
I recently set up a single profile. And had to open my filters so that friends could send veris. The messages came through so fast it was overwhelming. Among them I can see there are some nice thoughtful messages. Enough that the thought of replying to all of those is overwhelming. 🤯
J |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *essTTWoman 48 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"I don't know what the real issue is for each individual.
I imagine that if I spent a lot of time messaging people and got nothing back I'd feel rejected in the same way I would if I walked into a room full of strangers, introduced myself and they all ignored me.
I think it's very easy to say people who get upset about not receiving replies should get over it, toughen up or just accept it but that's dismissive of very real feelings of rejection.
So, I think the real reason is that nobody enjoys rejection or should I say the perception of being rejected and that's what causes upset"
I appreciate that but what's better, send 10 messages and get ignored or send 10 messages and get 10 replies back saying they're not interested?
I think the issue is that people join thinking they will get sex on tap, if people understood how the site actually works they wouldn't have these issues |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *essTTWoman 48 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"I suppose I've always looked at it this way. It's no different to any other kind of marketing.
I get a lot of junk emails and good old postal junk mail.
Some of it is very well designed, looks great, contains key bullet point info about the product/service, some very well taken photos to show me what's on offer and in all honesty what's being marketed would be ideal for someone. Someone else. Not me though.
Because I don't need gardening services as I live in a flat. I don't need to see photos of Chinese food because I don't eat it (much prefer Indian). And I sure as hell don't need any contact from childcare providers.
All these companies have put time and effort into messages that will appeal to some. Just not me.
So it's effort wasted on me and I don't feel compelled to reply to any of them, despite all the care and attention that's gone into their marketing.
Even when I receive something that's for a product or service that I am potentially interested in, I'll look into it further before deciding whether to get in touch. I'll look at a website, check product specifications and also reviews. It's very rare that I ever choose to get in touch.
And never just to say no thanks. "
You don't eat Chinese food |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s men isn’t it? Were talking about men here. I think men get upset about not getting replies because they’re entitled little babies who aren’t emotionally equipped to handle not getting what they want."
Prime cringe content |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan 48 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I suppose I've always looked at it this way. It's no different to any other kind of marketing.
I get a lot of junk emails and good old postal junk mail.
Some of it is very well designed, looks great, contains key bullet point info about the product/service, some very well taken photos to show me what's on offer and in all honesty what's being marketed would be ideal for someone. Someone else. Not me though.
Because I don't need gardening services as I live in a flat. I don't need to see photos of Chinese food because I don't eat it (much prefer Indian). And I sure as hell don't need any contact from childcare providers.
All these companies have put time and effort into messages that will appeal to some. Just not me.
So it's effort wasted on me and I don't feel compelled to reply to any of them, despite all the care and attention that's gone into their marketing.
Even when I receive something that's for a product or service that I am potentially interested in, I'll look into it further before deciding whether to get in touch. I'll look at a website, check product specifications and also reviews. It's very rare that I ever choose to get in touch.
And never just to say no thanks.
You don't eat Chinese food "
Nope. I know. I'm weird. Maybe there should be an additional filter for 'favourite takeaway'? 🤔
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"It’s men isn’t it? Were talking about men here. I think men get upset about not getting replies because they’re entitled little babies who aren’t emotionally equipped to handle not getting what they want.
Not just men, some women and couples like this as well"
Yes, I have seen lots saying this!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"I don't know what the real issue is for each individual.
I imagine that if I spent a lot of time messaging people and got nothing back I'd feel rejected in the same way I would if I walked into a room full of strangers, introduced myself and they all ignored me.
I think it's very easy to say people who get upset about not receiving replies should get over it, toughen up or just accept it but that's dismissive of very real feelings of rejection.
So, I think the real reason is that nobody enjoys rejection or should I say the perception of being rejected and that's what causes upset"
Being ignored in a real life situation is very different. But I do get this point. I still can't get with the entitlement which I feel is very different than expressing hurt. But entitlement annoys me, no matter the situation! I would never dismiss anyone who is feeling hurt. Though this site or through dating apps - thick skin is needed - it's brutal  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"Because they somehow think a no thanks is better than a no reply, it's not it still bruises their poor little egos, the level of self entitlement by some here is ridiculous - but hey it's a sex site right (the excuse for everything) you have vagina I have cock so why not 🙄
I've never been more put off men (& yes not all) but most that message and get a no thank you turn into spoilt little children they've turned me strictly vagiterian!
Mrs "
Vagiterian!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"I suppose I've always looked at it this way. It's no different to any other kind of marketing.
I get a lot of junk emails and good old postal junk mail.
Some of it is very well designed, looks great, contains key bullet point info about the product/service, some very well taken photos to show me what's on offer and in all honesty what's being marketed would be ideal for someone. Someone else. Not me though.
Because I don't need gardening services as I live in a flat. I don't need to see photos of Chinese food because I don't eat it (much prefer Indian). And I sure as hell don't need any contact from childcare providers.
All these companies have put time and effort into messages that will appeal to some. Just not me.
So it's effort wasted on me and I don't feel compelled to reply to any of them, despite all the care and attention that's gone into their marketing.
Even when I receive something that's for a product or service that I am potentially interested in, I'll look into it further before deciding whether to get in touch. I'll look at a website, check product specifications and also reviews. It's very rare that I ever choose to get in touch.
And never just to say no thanks. "
 Just yes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"I don't know what the real issue is for each individual.
I imagine that if I spent a lot of time messaging people and got nothing back I'd feel rejected in the same way I would if I walked into a room full of strangers, introduced myself and they all ignored me.
I think it's very easy to say people who get upset about not receiving replies should get over it, toughen up or just accept it but that's dismissive of very real feelings of rejection.
So, I think the real reason is that nobody enjoys rejection or should I say the perception of being rejected and that's what causes upset
I appreciate that but what's better, send 10 messages and get ignored or send 10 messages and get 10 replies back saying they're not interested?
I think the issue is that people join thinking they will get sex on tap, if people understood how the site actually works they wouldn't have these issues "
OMG! YES, YES AND YES! The messages that I have received, assuming that it's a given - I don't understand it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andG2024Couple 48 weeks ago
Village near Tamworth |
"I suppose I've always looked at it this way. It's no different to any other kind of marketing.
I get a lot of junk emails and good old postal junk mail.
Some of it is very well designed, looks great, contains key bullet point info about the product/service, some very well taken photos to show me what's on offer and in all honesty what's being marketed would be ideal for someone. Someone else. Not me though.
Because I don't need gardening services as I live in a flat. I don't need to see photos of Chinese food because I don't eat it (much prefer Indian). And I sure as hell don't need any contact from childcare providers.
All these companies have put time and effort into messages that will appeal to some. Just not me.
So it's effort wasted on me and I don't feel compelled to reply to any of them, despite all the care and attention that's gone into their marketing.
Even when I receive something that's for a product or service that I am potentially interested in, I'll look into it further before deciding whether to get in touch. I'll look at a website, check product specifications and also reviews. It's very rare that I ever choose to get in touch.
And never just to say no thanks.
Just yes. "
Kier starmer speech that’s as created so much tension
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"In their minds they're everything you're looking for and feel frustrated that you can't see that. K. "
Yep... forgetting about attraction and other nuances |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"I suppose I've always looked at it this way. It's no different to any other kind of marketing.
I get a lot of junk emails and good old postal junk mail.
Some of it is very well designed, looks great, contains key bullet point info about the product/service, some very well taken photos to show me what's on offer and in all honesty what's being marketed would be ideal for someone. Someone else. Not me though.
Because I don't need gardening services as I live in a flat. I don't need to see photos of Chinese food because I don't eat it (much prefer Indian). And I sure as hell don't need any contact from childcare providers.
All these companies have put time and effort into messages that will appeal to some. Just not me.
So it's effort wasted on me and I don't feel compelled to reply to any of them, despite all the care and attention that's gone into their marketing.
Even when I receive something that's for a product or service that I am potentially interested in, I'll look into it further before deciding whether to get in touch. I'll look at a website, check product specifications and also reviews. It's very rare that I ever choose to get in touch.
And never just to say no thanks.
Just yes.
Kier starmer speech that’s as created so much tension
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don't know what the real issue is for each individual.
I imagine that if I spent a lot of time messaging people and got nothing back I'd feel rejected in the same way I would if I walked into a room full of strangers, introduced myself and they all ignored me.
I think it's very easy to say people who get upset about not receiving replies should get over it, toughen up or just accept it but that's dismissive of very real feelings of rejection.
So, I think the real reason is that nobody enjoys rejection or should I say the perception of being rejected and that's what causes upset
I appreciate that but what's better, send 10 messages and get ignored or send 10 messages and get 10 replies back saying they're not interested?
I think the issue is that people join thinking they will get sex on tap, if people understood how the site actually works they wouldn't have these issues "
I think that's true in some cases. Often it's explained to people who get upset by these things, some take it on board, some don't.
I don't know if people would prefer messages saying not interested. I doubt they would.
I just wish that people would use their filters a bit more but then I suppose we'd have complaints that nobody could message 😂 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
Thank you again to everyone who has posted a comment! It has been really helpful, I was getting so annoyed by the a few things, that I had read on other posts but these have calmed me down lol! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is it really about not getting a reply?
Or is feeling like sex is being denied?
Just in case your wondering.. I'm asking because I can't believe that people are upset/bothered about another person not responding to an introductory message?!
I genuinely want to understand.
Thanks in advance and if nobody responds to this post, I might begin to understand!!! "
Upset no, confused sometimes (especially if pm is showing read but not deleted, leaving me hoping there may be a response) - disappointed often. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don't know if people would prefer messages saying not interested. I doubt they would.
I just wish that people would use their filters a bit more but then I suppose we'd have complaints that nobody could message 😂"
I can only speak for myself, but although I never *expect* a response from anyone, having a concrete "not interested" reply would be nice because at least then there wouldn't be a small part of me wondering if they really weren't or if the message just fell through the cracks of a very full inbox. And I know the outcome doesn't change any way, but uncertainty is something the analytical part of my brain can spend too many resources thinking about at times, so having a solid answer is helpful.
I've been really grateful to the people who took the time to message with "it's a no" or "Sorry, you're not for me" but it's totally understandable that a lot of people have neither the time nor inclination to do that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I can't speak for anyone else but I think I might just get :- fed up, despondent, frustrated if I kept on trying and all my efforts were in vain.
It's a waste of time.
It erodes the soul.
It eats away at what could be enjoyable hours.
It's a fruitless endeavour.
I imagine Sisyphus rolling that boulder and never reaching the summit for the entirety of his life. Is what it feels like to keep pissing into the void and the shower never reaching ground.
It's seldom to do with rude people whatever their gender. It's to do with constant disappointment in some cases.
You wouldn't keep trying to plant a flower in the middle of the motorway.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You don't eat Chinese food
Nope. I know. I'm weird. Maybe there should be an additional filter for 'favourite takeaway'? 🤔"
Haha I'm Chinese and I prefer Indian too!
But what you say, ObiH about marketing, makes sense to me. I often give advice to young men with awful profiles, to think of it as crafting a BMW brochure. But at the end, if he targets non-petrol heads, it doesn't matter how good his profile is. Marketing with EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is key.
But to the OP, sometimes, people just feel entitled. So if they don't get a response, it is genuinely upsetting for them. They are immature but hopefully they can do a bit of CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) on themselves and do some growing up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"You don't eat Chinese food
Nope. I know. I'm weird. Maybe there should be an additional filter for 'favourite takeaway'? 🤔
Haha I'm Chinese and I prefer Indian too!
But what you say, ObiH about marketing, makes sense to me. I often give advice to young men with awful profiles, to think of it as crafting a BMW brochure. But at the end, if he targets non-petrol heads, it doesn't matter how good his profile is. Marketing with EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is key.
But to the OP, sometimes, people just feel entitled. So if they don't get a response, it is genuinely upsetting for them. They are immature but hopefully they can do a bit of CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) on themselves and do some growing up."
Yes! Unfortunately some will never develop and it will be a vicious cycle for them |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Rejection is massively hurtful, people get upset from people not reciprocal smiling, at them in the street.
How many times has the "ignorant fucker" thought flashed through their head when we are ignored on purpose...
I'm fine with rejection, it's those liars that send me 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"Rejection is massively hurtful, people get upset from people not reciprocal smiling, at them in the street.
How many times has the "ignorant fucker" thought flashed through their head when we are ignored on purpose...
I'm fine with rejection, it's those liars that send me
"
This is true and it reminded me of how I reacted during a recent interaction.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
|
A complicated one I suppose. I always reply, even just to say ‘no thanks’. But then as a bloke, I would doubt that I get the amount of messages that couples and ladies get. Someone stated further up the page somewhere that some fellas can’t take rejection as well. I think they are on this sight thinking that it’s just non stop sex and women have to say yes to it. And when they do they get shitty and turn into little cry babies about it. You see it with some newbies at clubs sometimes where they think that it’s a free for all and they can just hound people. If people don’t respond, it’s a pretty clear indication they aren’t interested so just move on.
Have a lovely weekend 🙂❤️ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"A complicated one I suppose. I always reply, even just to say ‘no thanks’. But then as a bloke, I would doubt that I get the amount of messages that couples and ladies get. Someone stated further up the page somewhere that some fellas can’t take rejection as well. I think they are on this sight thinking that it’s just non stop sex and women have to say yes to it. And when they do they get shitty and turn into little cry babies about it. You see it with some newbies at clubs sometimes where they think that it’s a free for all and they can just hound people. If people don’t respond, it’s a pretty clear indication they aren’t interested so just move on.
Have a lovely weekend 🙂❤️"
Agreed!
You have a lovely weekend too! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I dunno . I have known a few married guys come on here , get nothing and then just leave but they were quite chill and just accepted they couldn’t really be arsed with the effort and deception to make it work. Other men I know are very happy with the site
Never come across these upset people. Are you talking about the whiny men that keep posting or the ones who abuse people by messaging. I guess they are upset for different reasons |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
|
"Is it really about not getting a reply?
Or is feeling like sex is being denied?
Just in case your wondering.. I'm asking because I can't believe that people are upset/bothered about another person not responding to an introductory message?!
I genuinely want to understand.
Thanks in advance and if nobody responds to this post, I might begin to understand!!! "
Where is the denial OP. Some people think that being a swinger site means they can hook up with anyone, the flaw being the other person needs to want to for whatever reason. If a person cannot handle rejection in an adult, civilised way, then they are in the wrong place.
P.S- over the years I have had many rejection, i simply thank them for their time and move on. Not difficult  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The elderly are sad for voting Labour government which would work out best for them, and then losing their winter fuel allowance. "
This. And it’s just the beginning. It will be like brexit. People thinking what the fuck have we done. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"I dunno . I have known a few married guys come on here , get nothing and then just leave but they were quite chill and just accepted they couldn’t really be arsed with the effort and deception to make it work. Other men I know are very happy with the site
Never come across these upset people. Are you talking about the whiny men that keep posting or the ones who abuse people by messaging. I guess they are upset for different reasons "
The ones who post about people not replying to messages |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *essTTWoman 48 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"I suppose I've always looked at it this way. It's no different to any other kind of marketing.
I get a lot of junk emails and good old postal junk mail.
Some of it is very well designed, looks great, contains key bullet point info about the product/service, some very well taken photos to show me what's on offer and in all honesty what's being marketed would be ideal for someone. Someone else. Not me though.
Because I don't need gardening services as I live in a flat. I don't need to see photos of Chinese food because I don't eat it (much prefer Indian). And I sure as hell don't need any contact from childcare providers.
All these companies have put time and effort into messages that will appeal to some. Just not me.
So it's effort wasted on me and I don't feel compelled to reply to any of them, despite all the care and attention that's gone into their marketing.
Even when I receive something that's for a product or service that I am potentially interested in, I'll look into it further before deciding whether to get in touch. I'll look at a website, check product specifications and also reviews. It's very rare that I ever choose to get in touch.
And never just to say no thanks.
You don't eat Chinese food
Nope. I know. I'm weird. Maybe there should be an additional filter for 'favourite takeaway'? 🤔
"
Yes! could you ask the site owners to add one? Haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"Is it really about not getting a reply?
Or is feeling like sex is being denied?
Just in case your wondering.. I'm asking because I can't believe that people are upset/bothered about another person not responding to an introductory message?!
I genuinely want to understand.
Thanks in advance and if nobody responds to this post, I might begin to understand!!!
Where is the denial OP. Some people think that being a swinger site means they can hook up with anyone, the flaw being the other person needs to want to for whatever reason. If a person cannot handle rejection in an adult, civilised way, then they are in the wrong place.
P.S- over the years I have had many rejection, i simply thank them for their time and move on. Not difficult "
You also see this in the vanilla dating world. A few things in common to them means an instant yes
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"The elderly are sad for voting Labour government which would work out best for them, and then losing their winter fuel allowance.
This. And it’s just the beginning. It will be like brexit. People thinking what the fuck have we done. "
I'm not a fan of Labour but I don't see them making a mess any where near that of the Tories..... though I should probably watch my words because anything is possible |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The elderly are sad for voting Labour government which would work out best for them, and then losing their winter fuel allowance. "
The only people losing their winter fuel allowance are the ones who aren't eligible for pension credit. This includes us.
We understand that cuts need to be made though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *cLovin2Man 48 weeks ago
West Drayton |
"I don't know what the real issue is for each individual.
I imagine that if I spent a lot of time messaging people and got nothing back I'd feel rejected in the same way I would if I walked into a room full of strangers, introduced myself and they all ignored me.
I think it's very easy to say people who get upset about not receiving replies should get over it, toughen up or just accept it but that's dismissive of very real feelings of rejection.
So, I think the real reason is that nobody enjoys rejection or should I say the perception of being rejected and that's what causes upset"
No one enjoys rejection, but some men feel humiliated by it, and feel they need to make up for said rejection with personal abuse. It's obviously those who are abusive in the first place who act like this, so a bullet dodged. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"The elderly are sad for voting Labour government which would work out best for them, and then losing their winter fuel allowance.
The only people losing their winter fuel allowance are the ones who aren't eligible for pension credit. This includes us.
We understand that cuts need to be made though"
Only if everyone was this understanding! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"I don't know what the real issue is for each individual.
I imagine that if I spent a lot of time messaging people and got nothing back I'd feel rejected in the same way I would if I walked into a room full of strangers, introduced myself and they all ignored me.
I think it's very easy to say people who get upset about not receiving replies should get over it, toughen up or just accept it but that's dismissive of very real feelings of rejection.
So, I think the real reason is that nobody enjoys rejection or should I say the perception of being rejected and that's what causes upset
No one enjoys rejection, but some men feel humiliated by it, and feel they need to make up for said rejection with personal abuse. It's obviously those who are abusive in the first place who act like this, so a bullet dodged."
Those who saw all the bear stuff that was online, will truly understand this post.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
|
"Is it really about not getting a reply?
Or is feeling like sex is being denied?
Just in case your wondering.. I'm asking because I can't believe that people are upset/bothered about another person not responding to an introductory message?!
I genuinely want to understand.
Thanks in advance and if nobody responds to this post, I might begin to understand!!! "
I think I'm with you.
It smacks of entitlement and the inability of someone to appreciate that their recipient has the right to choose who, when and how to respond to their approach.
Maybe they should stop moaning and look inward as to why they're getting ghosted and why it bothers them.
Here endeth the lecture... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
|
"Is it really about not getting a reply?
Or is feeling like sex is being denied?
Just in case your wondering.. I'm asking because I can't believe that people are upset/bothered about another person not responding to an introductory message?!
I genuinely want to understand.
Thanks in advance and if nobody responds to this post, I might begin to understand!!!
I think I'm with you.
It smacks of entitlement and the inability of someone to appreciate that their recipient has the right to choose who, when and how to respond to their approach.
Maybe they should stop moaning and look inward as to why they're getting ghosted and why it bothers them.
Here endeth the lecture..."
I'm with you on every word! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
