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Meeting is becoming HARD
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By *anks101 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Blackburn |
I personally think, meeting on here is becoming very hard as a single lad. Lately all have met on here are picture collectors and video callers to meet their needs.. is anyone experiencing this ? |
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By *anks101 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Blackburn |
"I think it has always been tricky and tough on here, which has been increased ten-fold due to the number of single guys on here."
Yes I can imagine the frustration and how challenging it’s lately. I think the bi are still having lot of chances |
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By *anks101 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Blackburn |
"Totally agree that's why I'll not subscribe anymore
Fakes and chancers are a plenty"
In the past weeks, I have met a lot of picture collectors and even some that was demanding to be paid.. it’s becoming crazy on here |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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Best advice is go to clubs man. Check the club events section and put your name down. Speak to people that are going to events and if you get lucky while you’re there, ask for a veri. You’ll be ok |
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I agree, it is getting hard on here......
I'm a women, everyone thinks it's our world here on fab, but it's hard for different reasons.
Men have always outnumbered women, but the quality of men has taken a slide and the weirdos definately outweigh the genuine by about 25 to 1.
So as a women, I naturally treat them all with the same level of suspicion.
Which I think impedes the genuine members of the male cohort!! |
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By *anks101 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Blackburn |
"Well I guess this answers the question of whether Black men struggle on fab. "
Black men don’t struggle, but I think the ratio of single lads to couples is like 10 to 2.. The couples have tons of messages every minute ans they get to not finish the conversation and move to the next person |
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I've been on fab for 8 years, it's never been easy to find meets, there are so many single men so plenty for the ladies and couples to choose from, don't give up, try club's, see how they go for you |
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By *anks101 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Blackburn |
"I agree, it is getting hard on here......
I'm a women, everyone thinks it's our world here on fab, but it's hard for different reasons.
Men have always outnumbered women, but the quality of men has taken a slide and the weirdos definately outweigh the genuine by about 25 to 1.
So as a women, I naturally treat them all with the same level of suspicion.
Which I think impedes the genuine members of the male cohort!!"
That’s exactly what is happening and so not nice lol.. I’m speaking for the single lads xx |
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By *anks101 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Blackburn |
"I've been on fab for 8 years, it's never been easy to find meets, there are so many single men so plenty for the ladies and couples to choose from, don't give up, try club's, see how they go for you "
Yeah I agree club is the best to meet but I just wish one could have a regular meet and have so much fun |
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It goes both ways I feel the same.
I had one guy asking how he would get to me as he didn't have a car, and he was two miles away!! Did he expect me to pick him up or something? I'm not his Mum!
Lots of picture collectors too which I don't understand as there are loads of accounts that have lots of pictures if that's what they're looking for.
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"It goes both ways I feel the same.
I had one guy asking how he would get to me as he didn't have a car, and he was two miles away!! Did he expect me to pick him up or something? I'm not his Mum!
Lots of picture collectors too which I don't understand as there are loads of accounts that have lots of pictures if that's what they're looking for.
"
He must have thought you'd be his taxi service too |
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By *anks101 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Blackburn |
"It goes both ways I feel the same.
I had one guy asking how he would get to me as he didn't have a car, and he was two miles away!! Did he expect me to pick him up or something? I'm not his Mum!
Lots of picture collectors too which I don't understand as there are loads of accounts that have lots of pictures if that's what they're looking for.
"
That was a joke, am I his mom…I guess he’s probably new here and does not know how it goes on her. 2 miles is not far off though |
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"I personally think, meeting on here is becoming very hard as a single lad. Lately all have met on here are picture collectors and video callers to meet their needs.. is anyone experiencing this ? "
There are 3 ways to improve your odds of getting meets
1/ Go to organised socials.
2/ Go to organised socials.
3/ Go....seriously, havent you got it yet lol?
And... for those that say "there arent any socials in my area"...simple, start one!  |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"I think it has always been tricky and tough on here, which has been increased ten-fold due to the number of single guys on here."
Are you saying there are ten times as many men on here as there used to be?  |
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By *anks101 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Blackburn |
"It might help if guys actually took the time to read a profile. Also it would be nice to see something worthwhile in theirs.
I don't think "fill in later" impresses anyone x"
So lads put in the work but it’s just hard to be honest |
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By *anks101 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Blackburn |
"I personally think, meeting on here is becoming very hard as a single lad. Lately all have met on here are picture collectors and video callers to meet their needs.. is anyone experiencing this ?
There are 3 ways to improve your odds of getting meets
1/ Go to organised socials.
2/ Go to organised socials.
3/ Go....seriously, havent you got it yet lol?
And... for those that say "there arent any socials in my area"...simple, start one! "
How to one get to know when there’s an organised socials.. I live in Blackburn but I’ve never seen a post of organised social before |
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Nø, I haven't experienced this. I also have no experiences or anecdotes concerning "picture collectors" or "video callers".
I would suspect that you need to re-evaluate your approach on here, OP. 🩶 |
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By *anks101 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Blackburn |
"Nø, I haven't experienced this. I also have no experiences or anecdotes concerning "picture collectors" or "video callers".
I would suspect that you need to re-evaluate your approach on here, OP. 🩶"
You might be right thou |
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"I agree, it is getting hard on here......
I'm a women, everyone thinks it's our world here on fab, but it's hard for different reasons.
Men have always outnumbered women, but the quality of men has taken a slide and the weirdos definately outweigh the genuine by about 25 to 1.
So as a women, I naturally treat them all with the same level of suspicion.
Which I think impedes the genuine members of the male cohort!!"
It's the same for us as a couple. The standard of single male messages we get in our inbox is tragically low. One word or at most one sentence. Then followed by lots of cock pictures! Even worse when the profile is just lots of cock shots with no real substance....
We want people who are engaging to talk to.... Unfortunately if your profile is full of cock pictures then we're likely to presume that's the only thing going for you. And we are going to pass over you then |
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Not being funny OP but your profile contains mostly dick pics....it takes more than that to grab and more importantly hold someone's attention.
Plus most...(not all men) don't bother reading profiles to see what that person may be looking for and then wonder why they don't get replies |
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By *anks101 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Blackburn |
"I agree, it is getting hard on here......
I'm a women, everyone thinks it's our world here on fab, but it's hard for different reasons.
Men have always outnumbered women, but the quality of men has taken a slide and the weirdos definately outweigh the genuine by about 25 to 1.
So as a women, I naturally treat them all with the same level of suspicion.
Which I think impedes the genuine members of the male cohort!!
It's the same for us as a couple. The standard of single male messages we get in our inbox is tragically low. One word or at most one sentence. Then followed by lots of cock pictures! Even worse when the profile is just lots of cock shots with no real substance....
We want people who are engaging to talk to.... Unfortunately if your profile is full of cock pictures then we're likely to presume that's the only thing going for you. And we are going to pass over you then"
Oh that can be so annoying, I think some lads just go randomly to see who will reply to their cocks pictures and all. I think a proper communication and connection is needed before we can agree on meeting. Some lads need to do better, it goes both ways though xx |
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It’s not just a fab thing. Once upon a time I had some great meets with some lovely ladies on Craigslist , then they removed their Personals section and it deteriorated, nothing but timewasters now . Fortunately I kept in touch with a couple of them and see them occasionally |
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By *anks101 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Blackburn |
"
It’s not just a fab thing. Once upon a time I had some great meets with some lovely ladies on Craigslist , then they removed their Personals section and it deteriorated, nothing but timewasters now . Fortunately I kept in touch with a couple of them and see them occasionally "
Craigslist are you joking ? |
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"I personally think, meeting on here is becoming very hard as a single lad. Lately all have met on here are picture collectors and video callers to meet their needs.. is anyone experiencing this ?
There are 3 ways to improve your odds of getting meets
1/ Go to organised socials.
2/ Go to organised socials.
3/ Go....seriously, havent you got it yet lol?
And... for those that say "there arent any socials in my area"...simple, start one!
How to one get to know when there’s an organised socials.. I live in Blackburn but I’ve never seen a post of organised social before "
My last point was...
"And... for those that say "there arent any socials in my area"...simple, start one! "
 |
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"I tend to find I have more success chatting and in the past meeting by interacting on the forums than anything else.
Forum is my new thing now, keeps me going xx "
I does. Would love to meet some of the people on here socially think it would be great fun |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"
It’s not just a fab thing. Once upon a time I had some great meets with some lovely ladies on Craigslist , then they removed their Personals section and it deteriorated, nothing but timewasters now . Fortunately I kept in touch with a couple of them and see them occasionally
Craigslist are you joking ? "
I too had some great meets off the personals section of Craigslist - 15 yrs back though. |
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Did they inform you that they are picture collectors etc?
It's standard that people will only be mutually compatible with a very tiny percentage of people who they may initially engage with. They will ordinarily need chats and pictures, in order to know whether you are right or not, for them. None of this type of photo viewing in any way indicates picture collectors - merely that they are doing their due diligence, in order to assess compatibility and prevention of time wasting on unsuitable people.
As time progresses, people are becoming more accomplished at filtering out the unsuitable. This could be viewed as it getting harder to engage with and meet people. But, if you're not right for each other, the sooner this is achieved, the better.
Having realistic expectations is essential. You may or may not become more or less compatible with the people who happen to be here over time. In all likelihood, most people will only be right for perhaps 1% or so of others.
The challenge is to make it easier for everyone to know who is or isn't right together. This might include the majority of single men ensuring their profiles are top notch and are impeccably accurate today. It's wise not to put all of your eggs in one basket either. Consider using clubs and socials, to augment your profile, so that people get a more robust ability to assess your suitability for them.  |
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I don’t think that it’s any more difficult than it was say 10 years ago. But I do think that you need to respect that your expectations are equally matched to those people you wish to meet. There is an awful lot of choice, which is great, but that means you have to be clear about who you want to meet.
So okay what does that mean and why is that a challenging subject? If you aren’t clear in your profile (and I haven’t really looked at yours so this is no comment on that), about the type of people you want to meet, then that could have an impact on someone choosing you. Many people describe themselves in a certain way (in their internal monologue) it will depend on their confidence, level of self esteem and learnt experience. If your profile is fairly catch-all, then that could be a turn off. Similarly your photos for some will be a turn on or off, but they may not match the narrative of your profile, which means you are saying one thing and not another.
You also have to remember that it’s quite a scary world out there and it can take time to build trust. Just because someone has a green tick, doesn’t mean that they are trustworthy, we each have to judge on our own experiences and everyone moves at their own pace. So tell people about yourself too, it is important. This is why socials/clubs are beneficial, they present a fairly safe and controlled environment.
To be honest, I haven’t met anyone off fab (aside from the odd social) for quite some time though, but that’s because I am looking for a needle in a haystack, someone that suits me. So my expectations are matched by my understanding of this.
I wish you luck OP, but what I have found helpful in the past is to sit down and decide what kind of person/people I am looking for and why and build my profile from there, matching the pictures that I display to that narrative. Will that lead to instant success? No. But you are projecting your best self forward, you are being clear and precise about your aims with fab and you are displaying all the information required to enable someone to make a better judgement of whether you’d be a match. |
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By *anks101 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Blackburn |
"
It’s not just a fab thing. Once upon a time I had some great meets with some lovely ladies on Craigslist , then they removed their Personals section and it deteriorated, nothing but timewasters now . Fortunately I kept in touch with a couple of them and see them occasionally
I can look up and see if I can have a luck lol
Craigslist are you joking ?
I too had some great meets off the personals section of Craigslist - 15 yrs back though."
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By *anks101 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Blackburn |
"I don’t think that it’s any more difficult than it was say 10 years ago. But I do think that you need to respect that your expectations are equally matched to those people you wish to meet. There is an awful lot of choice, which is great, but that means you have to be clear about who you want to meet.
So okay what does that mean and why is that a challenging subject? If you aren’t clear in your profile (and I haven’t really looked at yours so this is no comment on that), about the type of people you want to meet, then that could have an impact on someone choosing you. Many people describe themselves in a certain way (in their internal monologue) it will depend on their confidence, level of self esteem and learnt experience. If your profile is fairly catch-all, then that could be a turn off. Similarly your photos for some will be a turn on or off, but they may not match the narrative of your profile, which means you are saying one thing and not another.
You also have to remember that it’s quite a scary world out there and it can take time to build trust. Just because someone has a green tick, doesn’t mean that they are trustworthy, we each have to judge on our own experiences and everyone moves at their own pace. So tell people about yourself too, it is important. This is why socials/clubs are beneficial, they present a fairly safe and controlled environment.
To be honest, I haven’t met anyone off fab (aside from the odd social) for quite some time though, but that’s because I am looking for a needle in a haystack, someone that suits me. So my expectations are matched by my understanding of this.
I wish you luck OP, but what I have found helpful in the past is to sit down and decide what kind of person/people I am looking for and why and build my profile from there, matching the pictures that I display to that narrative. Will that lead to instant success? No. But you are projecting your best self forward, you are being clear and precise about your aims with fab and you are displaying all the information required to enable someone to make a better judgement of whether you’d be a match. "
Wow this is intense and interesting, u made a good few points thanks |
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By *anks101 OP Man 24 weeks ago
Blackburn |
"I agree with you mate. I'll be exchanging messages about meeting up and when it comes to the day, they go cold. I love the people I do meet though  "
lol, some will just block you without a word lol |
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"I agree with you mate. I'll be exchanging messages about meeting up and when it comes to the day, they go cold. I love the people I do meet though
lol, some will just block you without a word lol "
People are under no obligation to reply with a written message, as no reply should be accepted as no thanks. This might be with or without a block, to prevent further time wasting on unsuitable people.
They should not stand you up though, if a meeting is completely arranged! Report anyone who does this to Admin, whether or not they have blocked you.
Did your older forum posts help you to gauge your expectations more realistically, such as https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1601946? Did my post above fit? |
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"I personally think, meeting on here is becoming very hard as a single lad. Lately all have met on here are picture collectors and video callers to meet their needs.. is anyone experiencing this ?
There are 3 ways to improve your odds of getting meets
1/ Go to organised socials.
2/ Go to organised socials.
3/ Go....seriously, havent you got it yet lol?
And... for those that say "there arent any socials in my area"...simple, start one! "
I am going to the Aberdeen on in couple of weeks, looking forward to it! |
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"I personally think, meeting on here is becoming very hard as a single lad. Lately all have met on here are picture collectors and video callers to meet their needs.. is anyone experiencing this ?
There are 3 ways to improve your odds of getting meets
1/ Go to organised socials.
2/ Go to organised socials.
3/ Go....seriously, havent you got it yet lol?
And... for those that say "there arent any socials in my area"...simple, start one!
I am going to the Aberdeen on in couple of weeks, looking forward to it!"
The Aberdeen Social is great. |
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It all depends on your outlook.
There's a lot of these sort of "woe is me, can't get meets" type of threads posted daily.
Just search for single male profiles in your area within 5/10 miles of you. Then do the same for single women. Note the difference in numbers and in effect that's your competition, all vying for meets and attention off the same pool of females.
You get in what you get out of this site. Put the effort in, chat to all, join in with forums, put your name down on club meet invites if that's your thing....you'll get what your're after. May take a while, but once you get one meet - even if it's a social and formed a connection- then the rest will follow. If you just use this site to wank off over the local ladies, message "hey, your're fit, would love to fuck" or just moan on the forums....might explain things. |
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"I personally think, meeting on here is becoming very hard as a single lad. Lately all have met on here are picture collectors and video callers to meet their needs.. is anyone experiencing this ? "
I've heard people say this since 2018, if that helps? |
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By *bi HaiveMan 24 weeks ago
Cheeseville, Somerset |
Who'd have thought meeting complete strangers on the Internet would be hard? 🤷♂️😂😂
Maybe try a different approach. Use the site to talk. Network. Develop conversations. Then look to meet just socially, whether one on one or at an organised event.
Strange as it may seem, people tend to open up to people and warm to them in person, with zero pressure or expectancy and no immediate plan to swap bodily fluids.
If all you want is to get naked and jiggy with someone after swapping a few words and maybe a pic or two online, then yep - expect it to be hard work. As it rightly should be. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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"I personally think, meeting on here is becoming very hard as a single lad. Lately all have met on here are picture collectors and video callers to meet their needs.. is anyone experiencing this ? "
Yes, me. Not meeting for months |
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Since returning feel like I've done ok to be honest. Work all over and seem to pick up meets when working away. I just try to give myself the best possible chance, polite and read the person's profile. |
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about 15 years ago it was really good, but these days fabswingers has become more of a social platform, meeting at organised events or clubs is the better option, both of which are usually arranged on here 👍🏻😃 |
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"I personally think, meeting on here is becoming very hard as a single lad. Lately all have met on here are picture collectors and video callers to meet their needs.. is anyone experiencing this ? "
Nah! I've been on here 8wks and met two males, one repeatedly and could have met another |
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"I agree, it is getting hard on here......
I'm a women, everyone thinks it's our world here on fab, but it's hard for different reasons.
Men have always outnumbered women, but the quality of men has taken a slide and the weirdos definately outweigh the genuine by about 25 to 1.
So as a women, I naturally treat them all with the same level of suspicion.
Which I think impedes the genuine members of the male cohort!!"
My thoughts exactly, us genuine guys, who are not time wasters are getting tarred with the same brush. I don't blame the single ladies and couples though, it is is not great being bombarded with dick pics and creepy messages (had experience as a couple so know the score) |
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"Who'd have thought meeting complete strangers on the Internet would be hard? 🤷♂️😂😂
Maybe try a different approach. Use the site to talk. Network. Develop conversations. Then look to meet just socially, whether one on one or at an organised event.
Strange as it may seem, people tend to open up to people and warm to them in person, with zero pressure or expectancy and no immediate plan to swap bodily fluids.
If all you want is to get naked and jiggy with someone after swapping a few words and maybe a pic or two online, then yep - expect it to be hard work. As it rightly should be. "
What he said... |
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By *rindnbump V2Couple 24 weeks ago
Our little world of Kinky Fuckery in Durham |
"Well I guess this answers the question of whether Black men struggle on fab.
Black men don’t struggle, but I think the ratio of single lads to couples is like 10 to 2.. The couples have tons of messages every minute ans they get to not finish the conversation and move to the next person "
We're a couple and certainly don't get tons if messages. Maybe just us 🙄🙄🙄 |
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"I personally think, meeting on here is becoming very hard as a single lad. Lately all have met on here are picture collectors and video callers to meet their needs.. is anyone experiencing this ?
There are 3 ways to improve your odds of getting meets
1/ Go to organised socials.
2/ Go to organised socials.
3/ Go....seriously, havent you got it yet lol?
And... for those that say "there arent any socials in my area"...simple, start one!
I am going to the Aberdeen on in couple of weeks, looking forward to it!"
It's amazing buddy...the ratio is 14 women to each man. I'll see you at the rugby pub beforehand and issue you your shitty stick. |
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"I personally think, meeting on here is becoming very hard as a single lad. Lately all have met on here are picture collectors and video callers to meet their needs.. is anyone experiencing this ? "
More and more |
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By *bi HaiveMan 24 weeks ago
Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Me and the Mrs really struggle for meets as looking for a female for us too share , my Mrs has no interest in other guys but that's all we get message us"
You know there's a message filter available to stop that? 🤔🤷♂️ |
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