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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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They unhinged their jaw and opened wide like a snake. I managed to jam a broom in their jaw to prevent them swallowing me whole. They snapped the broom like it was a dry twig but that bought me some time to make my escape. I jumped through the window and ran through the woods screaming ‘help help, theirs a snake after me’ and some local farmers came to the rescue and managed to scare off the snake man. I was lucky to get away unscathed.
Last time I ever kiss Joe Beans |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 14 weeks ago
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"They unhinged their jaw and opened wide like a snake. I managed to jam a broom in their jaw to prevent them swallowing me whole. They snapped the broom like it was a dry twig but that bought me some time to make my escape. I jumped through the window and ran through the woods screaming ‘help help, theirs a snake after me’ and some local farmers came to the rescue and managed to scare off the snake man. I was lucky to get away unscathed.
Last time I ever kiss Joe Beans "
I’m not reading all that
But I’ll have to kiss Joe for myself to know. |
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The world stopped spinning, the stars all seemed to weep and I knew then, more than I'd ever known anything...
This is the one, I've been waiting for.
Burn me out or bring me home.
Now she's a little humming bird, humming away in the still corners of my mind. In the eyes of our daughters, when they smile, scowl, cry or laugh.
And I can smell the salty waves of the Irish sea filling my nostrils. Feel the moonlight of that fateful night, shimmering and skimming across the surface of the wobbly great abyss.
Hum away little humming bird, immerse me in your splendour. Calm my sorrowful seas and lift my soul, for another day dawns and there's much ado. |
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At which point his new girlfriend attacked me with a broken bottle. He had to pull her off, explain that we had been mates for 20+ years and we always kissed hello.
(Oh, hang on, I'm supposed to be making this up...) |
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Awkward 
