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Are you a swinger?
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Quite a simple question really.
Would you describe yourself as a "swinger"? (that is, you yourself, regardless of whether others may agree or disagree)
Fab seems to be many things to many people, and people are on here for a variety of reasons. So I'm curious, how many forumites would consider themselves to be an actual swinger? |
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I think we are possibly on the cusp.
We tend to play with a third person rather than couples and when we go to clubs we don’t tend to play with others.
From our definition of a swinger, we aren’t but we like to invite others to play, so maybe 🤷🏻♂️
K
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By *eliWoman 6 weeks ago
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No. I can count on a couple of fingers the amount of times I've been attracted to someone before there's been a friendship. I've had a few ffms, never done group sex, orgies, club antics... many things.
It's more than sexual acts though, it's my mindset. How I view certain things. I'm poly. A lotus eater if I have to put a term on this side of things but it's a wanky one.  |
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No I’m not sure we do, as the lifestyle to us is a fun hobby that we dip in and out of to keep it fun, exciting and fresh … I guess if it’s your default setting I think we would get bored very quickly.. not sure what everyone else thinks …  x |
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I'm not sure. I'm single, but had an open relationship when I wasn't. I'm not poly, ENM is fine with me but for romance, I only want one person. Happy to share bodies but not hearts, I typically say. I enjoy the club scene, and the other people in the lifestyle get me... but am I a swinger for that? Idk, maybe.
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Lots of interesting answers, thank you 
I'm intrigued by the amount of you who've said no! It does seem like fab is a way for lots of people to connect in different ways, all looking for different things. Which can also mean difficulties finding compatible people sometimes I imagine.
Would possibly be easier if fab has an option for you to select what "relationship type" you're looking for or something similar. But I guess that's where bios come in useful |
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"I'm not sure. I'm single, but had an open relationship when I wasn't. I'm not poly, ENM is fine with me but for romance, I only want one person. Happy to share bodies but not hearts, I typically say. I enjoy the club scene, and the other people in the lifestyle get me... but am I a swinger for that? Idk, maybe.
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I think I am in a similar mindset. I am a single woman atm and like the club scene too, I "play" in clubs and have group sex, and join couples etc. But I am really just a single woman exploring her sexuality who likes meeting new people. Does that make me a swinger? I'm not entirely sure. |
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Hmmmmmm! That's a very thought provoking question!
Kinky-yes
ENM- yes
Poly- probably (never been in the right place at the right time(
Swingers- well if the definition is partner swapping between two couples, the yeah, we suppose. But definitely not the kind to rack up notches on the bedpost. |
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Nope we aren't more of a open relationship kind of thang and way to many negative thingies around and even assumptions if you say your are swingers ( basically you'll bang everything ) or as Mrs4 calls it being a greedy cow ( sometimes) xxx  |
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By *eliWoman 6 weeks ago
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"I'm not sure. I'm single, but had an open relationship when I wasn't. I'm not poly, ENM is fine with me but for romance, I only want one person. Happy to share bodies but not hearts, I typically say. I enjoy the club scene, and the other people in the lifestyle get me... but am I a swinger for that? Idk, maybe.
I think I am in a similar mindset. I am a single woman atm and like the club scene too, I "play" in clubs and have group sex, and join couples etc. But I am really just a single woman exploring her sexuality who likes meeting new people. Does that make me a swinger? I'm not entirely sure. "
Yes, I'd say so. It's how you approach things, what you do, view certain things. If you're happy to share bodies not hearts? You're not polyam. I think swinging is the sharing of bodies rather than hearts.
There's no one clear definition really - getting across what's important to you with those you're interested in is the most important thing. |
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No. Not really.
Had a few modelling pics. This place fulfilled an exhibitionist streak.
Stayed for the forums.
Not saying I don't or won't indulge, but if you're rating my swinging prowess, I'd probably score quite low.. |
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"Yes, I'd say so. It's how you approach things, what you do, view certain things. If you're happy to share bodies not hearts? You're not polyam. I think swinging is the sharing of bodies rather than hearts.
There's no one clear definition really - getting across what's important to you with those you're interested in is the most important thing. "
Then there is the discussion about "can single people swing" I just find it interesting the labels we use to identify ourselves.
I would say I'm "ENM". I have practiced solo polyamory in the past (before I found fab and the world of clubs etc). I also dated someone recently who was poly and partnered. I decided I'm not sure if a polyamorous relationship is what I want right now, and we are now friends instead. I am certain I want sexual openness and non-monogamy, whether I want romantic openness fluctuates. Or whether I want any romantic relationship at all!
I like the fact that the "ethical non-monogamy" umbrella encompasses a lot of different dynamics. Agree the sharing of hearts is polyamory, I feel the sharing of bodies can have a few different labels though.
I think when I posted the question it was more about our own self identities and how we see ourselves, than definitions on what swinging is, but it is making me think
This is all a bit thought provoking for a Friday, apologies |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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"I'd say we were more exhibitionist/voyeuristic."
This is what we’d describe us as there’s a few other things we would like to try but only if we meet people /person we get on really well with (mr) |
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Im single so strictly no - im an overly fussy rarely available morally corrupt filthpot. I don’t think I can get that on a tshirt though. But i have high standards … maybe fussy filthpot will fit on one? |
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"Quite a simple question really.
Would you describe yourself as a "swinger"? (that is, you yourself, regardless of whether others may agree or disagree)
Fab seems to be many things to many people, and people are on here for a variety of reasons. So I'm curious, how many forumites would consider themselves to be an actual swinger? "
Interesting question!
I’d say yes—I do consider myself a swinger, but with a bit of nuance. For me, it’s not just about the sex (though that’s definitely fun); it’s also about the connections, the freedom, and the trust involved. I’m here for genuine experiences, shared kinks, and respectful exploration—whether that’s with singles, couples, or anything in between.
Fab might mean different things to different people, but I’d say I’m definitely in the swinger camp.
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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Probably not. I've dipped my toes and had some adventures, and I'm open to the possibility of further adventures in the future, but I wouldn't class that as swinging particularly. |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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"Nope I don’t Personally I only think couples are actual swindlers I. The original context of swinging / wife swapping "
That’s maybe how it started but like everything else in life things evolve into something completely different to how it originally started |
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In my experience conversations that start this way usually end in some form a no true Scotsman fallacy.
So I'll just say, ask your questions, decide for yourself and I'll learn how you define swinging in the process. |
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"In my experience conversations that start this way usually end in some form a no true Scotsman fallacy.
So I'll just say, ask your questions, decide for yourself and I'll learn how you define swinging in the process."
Its really not that deep. The site is called fabswingers, I was bored and wondered how many forum users actually self identify as a swinger. Seems the majority don't. I got my answer. |
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"In my experience conversations that start this way usually end in some form a no true Scotsman fallacy.
So I'll just say, ask your questions, decide for yourself and I'll learn how you define swinging in the process.
Its really not that deep. The site is called fabswingers, I was bored and wondered how many forum users actually self identify as a swinger. Seems the majority don't. I got my answer."
How about yourself OP ? |
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By *zChiefWoman 6 weeks ago
middle of somewhere |
I dont think i am ...as much as i hate labels they do seem to serve a purpose on here. I think i crave connections and repeat visits in my encounters and this wouldnt fit with the swingers label . As much as i enjoy sex beyond marriage. |
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"In my experience conversations that start this way usually end in some form a no true Scotsman fallacy.
So I'll just say, ask your questions, decide for yourself and I'll learn how you define swinging in the process.
Its really not that deep. The site is called fabswingers, I was bored and wondered how many forum users actually self identify as a swinger. Seems the majority don't. I got my answer.
How about yourself OP ?"
I think I (sort of) answered further up the thread. I do say I "swing" as a verb, as its an easier/quicker way to say I go to swingers clubs and exist within the world of that. But I would probably describe myself as ethically non-monogamous (ENM) as I am also open to dating as much as sexual encounters 😊 |
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"In my experience conversations that start this way usually end in some form a no true Scotsman fallacy.
So I'll just say, ask your questions, decide for yourself and I'll learn how you define swinging in the process.
Its really not that deep. The site is called fabswingers, I was bored and wondered how many forum users actually self identify as a swinger. Seems the majority don't. I got my answer.
How about yourself OP ?
I think I (sort of) answered further up the thread. I do say I "swing" as a verb, as its an easier/quicker way to say I go to swingers clubs and exist within the world of that. But I would probably describe myself as ethically non-monogamous (ENM) as I am also open to dating as much as sexual encounters 😊"
I saw your answer after I'd posted 🤦 but thanks for clarification. |
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"In my experience conversations that start this way usually end in some form a no true Scotsman fallacy.
So I'll just say, ask your questions, decide for yourself and I'll learn how you define swinging in the process.
Its really not that deep. The site is called fabswingers, I was bored and wondered how many forum users actually self identify as a swinger. Seems the majority don't. I got my answer.
How about yourself OP ?
I think I (sort of) answered further up the thread. I do say I "swing" as a verb, as its an easier/quicker way to say I go to swingers clubs and exist within the world of that. But I would probably describe myself as ethically non-monogamous (ENM) as I am also open to dating as much as sexual encounters 😊
I saw your answer after I'd posted 🤦 but thanks for clarification. "
Haha no worries |
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"Dunno...can a single person describe themselves as a swinger?
If you chose to, yes. You can self identify how you like. I asked how you see yourself, regardless of how others might see you. "
Yeah you're right...I mistakenly gave the impression that I cared about labels applied by others...dunno what i was thinking  ...
Well i guess I do then, given that a swinger would mean a sexually free, hedonistic, happy shaggy kinda person that cares little for mainstream uptight views on sexuality. |
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"In my experience conversations that start this way usually end in some form a no true Scotsman fallacy.
So I'll just say, ask your questions, decide for yourself and I'll learn how you define swinging in the process.
Its really not that deep. The site is called fabswingers, I was bored and wondered how many forum users actually self identify as a swinger. Seems the majority don't. I got my answer."
Apologies, I think the way I phrased it sounded like it was directed at you. I do wish we'd adopt the y'all Americanism as it's a bit of a void in English, at times.
I do think it is quite deep a topic though. Your deeper responses elsewhere, definitely interested me.
Swinger is not a self-identification I find helpful, for amongst several reasons, just how much variation in people's perspectives exists on the subject. |
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I’d say yes. I fit in a few places - kinky, emotional and sexual connections, pure hedonistic group sex. I’ve started using ENM as a catch-all term, it feels like a good fit for various aspects of my sexuality and relationships. I think I shy away from using swinger as a label as it still carries the seedy keys in a bowl, pampas grass connotations for many.
Mrs TMN x |
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"Nope I don’t Personally I only think couples are actual swindlers I. The original context of swinging / wife swapping "
I disagree with the idea that you have to be a couple to swing. The original context of swinging or wife swapping may have been more couple-centric, but the lifestyle has evolved. Plenty of single individuals—whether men or women—are active and respected members of the community. It’s about mutual consent, respect, and a shared experience, not necessarily the relationship status of the participants. Being open-minded and communicative is far more important than whether you’re in a couple or not. |
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I've never considered myself a swinger.
In the 9 years I've been on fab I've been to one party where I only played with the woman I went with.
I've never experienced a threesome or group play and every meet I've had has been one to one.
I didn't join fab to network or engage in a lifestyle. It has never been anything more than a hobby where I have met people on a similar journey to mine.
The first time I can remember giving this response on a similar thread years ago, I was challenged by quite a few people who got very agitated and asked why I was on fab if I didn't consider myself a swinger.
At least 30 others had said likewise on that thread, mostly women but none of them were challenged on their choices and when I drew attention to this fact, I was told by an established forumite that single women are a valued commodity and can therefore choose to describe themselves as anything they wanted whereas single men were disposable and were obviously all pandas.
It looks like those attitudes have improved for the better. |
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I think of swinging mainly as a couples activity for MF couples swapping partners with other couples and my partner and I have done that a lot last year. Now we both play solo and do more FFM and MFM threesomes I personally don’t call that swinging. I know everyone has a different terminology but that’s just my thoughts. |
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"Quite a simple question really.
Would you describe yourself as a "swinger"? (that is, you yourself, regardless of whether others may agree or disagree)
Fab seems to be many things to many people, and people are on here for a variety of reasons. So I'm curious, how many forumites would consider themselves to be an actual swinger? "
No, I'm just a women who loves cocks and cum! |
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noun: swinger; plural noun: swingers
2. informal
a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners.
"a twilight world of swingers and wife-swapping"
3.
Cricket
a bowler who makes a delivery of a ball deviate sideways from a regular course in the air.
As you asked was interested to look up the definition.
Answer to 2. Don't know
But to 3. Yes can swing the ball both ways. |
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By *hirleyMan 6 weeks ago
somewhere |
"Dunno...can a single person describe themselves as a swinger?
If you chose to, yes. You can self identify how you like. I asked how you see yourself, regardless of how others might see you. "
This  |
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By *mandoMan 6 weeks ago
Shrewsbury |
"Quite a simple question really.
Would you describe yourself as a "swinger"? (that is, you yourself, regardless of whether others may agree or disagree)
Fab seems to be many things to many people, and people are on here for a variety of reasons. So I'm curious, how many forumites would consider themselves to be an actual swinger? "
I do like being on the swing in the garden.
On a serious note, I'm single and just looking for some fun.
But when I was in a relationship, we never swung . |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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No.
Great question and think it should be a mandated category to fill in. The reason you're here. Are you a true swinger? etc.
would obviously need to define those descriptions as everyone sees things/labels differently.
Anyway, to answer your question. No I'm not a swinger.
I'm a frustrated married man who really wants to explore the swinging lifestyle with my partner but I'm too scared and stupid to bring it up with her. I believe I it will be more the social side I'd enjoy.
Making friends, being able to openly discuss sex and rarely /sometimes share partners with good people.
But alas my wife will probably never go for it. Xx but working on discussing things. Xxx |
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We think we want to be, but as yet probably not. Maybe we're just dirty sods! So far we havnt enjoyed playing separately, even next to each other. Gotta be a free for all. So I guess we're not swingers |
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"Nope I don’t Personally I only think couples are actual swindlers I. The original context of swinging / wife swapping
That’s maybe how it started but like everything else in life things evolve into something completely different to how it originally started "
Still doesn’t change the fundamental core of swinging it was a wife swapping / couples hobby And Singles just get to play in it as extras for them How I view it anyway.
Myself I am single and just like sex, I just happen to use a swinger sure for sex as it’s often faster easier and requires less effort than dating sites for quick one off meets with people.
I am part of the swinging community but not a swinger. Though you are correct in that things change meaning over time to allow expansion of it .
Ultimately only the individual gets to say how they view it and themselves within it .
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I think I'm a swinger yes I'm a single female, who goes to swingers clubs, plays with couples, singles n groups etc. I will play as part of a fm couple with male friends too.
Depends who you ask though, coz some people are adamant swinging is only for couples.
And those singles who they bestow the pleasure of thier 'true swinging couple' play with, are infact just accessories! 🙄
Like a walking talking fleshlight 🤣🙈 |
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"I think I'm a swinger yes I'm a single female, who goes to swingers clubs, plays with couples, singles n groups etc. I will play as part of a fm couple with male friends too.
Depends who you ask though, coz some people are adamant swinging is only for couples.
And those singles who they bestow the pleasure of thier 'true swinging couple' play with, are infact just accessories! 🙄
Like a walking talking fleshlight 🤣🙈"
Yes but the single is also using the couple in same manner equally. As long as both parties get laid and what they want then the end result is same |
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"Wouldn’t class myself as a swinger, just someone that has a very high sex drive and a very dirty mind "
This
Even though I’m a private person myself I like to watch/view other people and I’m interested in their sex lives |
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I’d say I’m not, I have a very sexual kinky side, had occasional meets and have been to a club and played in the group room but in terms of if I wasn’t single I don’t think I’d be comfortable playing as a couple unless it was a hot wife situation hahaha.
Not sure what that makes me. Whatever it is I’ve enjoyed what I’ve done so far…. |
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"I think I'm a swinger yes I'm a single female, who goes to swingers clubs, plays with couples, singles n groups etc. I will play as part of a fm couple with male friends too.
Depends who you ask though, coz some people are adamant swinging is only for couples.
And those singles who they bestow the pleasure of thier 'true swinging couple' play with, are infact just accessories! 🙄
Like a walking talking fleshlight 🤣🙈
Yes but the single is also using the couple in same manner equally. As long as both parties get laid and what they want then the end result is same "
exactly! You get it.... unfortunately some don't, and think it's a couples only enterprise where us singles are just here for thier pleasure, when actually, sometimes, they're feeding my pleasure, just as much, if not more than I am, thiers! |
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We aren't considered proper swingers as we are only interested in doing things with bi ladies. A true swinger is where an mf couple straight swap technically. It didn't used to be common place back in the olden days for the ladies to swap.
You'll be surprised how many couples get angry or stick their nose up at us when we tell them how we play. They seem to think that my husband is forcing me to it this way but it's actually completely wrong! It's was my idea to join and how we play, I came out a few years back and hadn't been with a woman and wanted to explore my sexuality. I couldn't think of a better way to do that than with the love of my life next to me x and I get to see him having a great time too x
I would say we enjoy the swinger scene rather than consider ourselves swingers x
Mrs x |
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