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Can you be friends and disagree?
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By *hagTonight OP Man 6 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
I would say so that we can still disagree and still be friends, even though we have diferent optiions, like with the current big things, climate change, chem trails, covid, hamas israel war, does israel have the right to defend themseves, the russia ukraine war, is russia really winning the war or not and is it a chem trail or a con trail you can look up the sky and say that it is a chem trail and others can say no it isnt, it is just a con trail, in therey we ought to be able to sort ot out, well that is your opinion mate, fair enough you dont have to believe me.
What is your view about it, do you have friends that you disagree with and can you still be friends with them? What do you do if you have a subject you dont agree on? Can you settle your differences?
I would say that most all of my friends have the same kind of view as me, but if we dont we generally dont speak so much about that particular thing as we already know that we wont have the same view on it  |
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You can be it depends how extreme the views are imo. Me and most of the people I call friends are pretty aligned socially on those similar type topics. In most instances you don’t wanna be fully in agreement on everything but like I said on things like genocide, racism, misogyny etc it’s generally pretty binary imo.
My ex voted for Brexit and well she’s my ex now
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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I don’t want friends who only agree with me, that would be incredibly boring
Of course friends and anyone can disagree, we are human and hopefully all have our own opinions on or of something
True friends listen to those opinions |
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One of my friends is also my hairdresser - she has very strong views on everything and likes to actively discuss them. Unfortunately we have very different stances on UK politics, social care + reform, refugees, Trump etc.
She has a few areas where she's a total hypocrite, but interestingly doesn't recognize it 
I mostly try to avoid lighting the blue touch paper and we talk about softer topics. |
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I have no issue at all with differences of opinion. Boring world without it. However, what I do dislike is a person who forces their own views on you in some warped attempt to chance your opinion too....quite frankly, those types are not my friends! |
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In the word of the arctic monkeys.
“ over there there’s friends of mine.
What can I say, I’ve know them for all long long time.
And even though they might over step the line.
But you just cannot get angry in the same way “
The mr |
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By *gp_sub01Man 6 weeks ago
Manchester (Malaga) |
Depends. A couple of things you've mentioned in there are conspiracy theory type things and once you start believing in them it becomes a bit of a slippery slope...
I have friends I disagree with politically, provided that the issue is political and not because they hold racist, homophobic, sexist views etc. |
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By *oodoodMan 6 weeks ago
Suffolkish |
On some things nope not really. If a friend told me they thought the earth was flat and it's chem trails in the sky they wouldn't be friends for long. Difference of opinion is one thing flat out stupidity is another |
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A real friend should be someone who will point out when I am wrong. Particularly on the big stuff. If you are only surrounding yourself with people you agree with then I doubt they are real friends. |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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As long as the viewpoint isn't too extreme, yes.
I have a friend that tends to get enamoured with demagogues. Rather than me pointing out the flaws in the arguments of these figures to him, he usually goes off them himself at some point.
That sort of spontaneous personality he has though, also makes him fun. |
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"
My ex voted for Brexit and well she’s my ex now
"
A guy a work split up with his missus after they disagreed on brexit. There must have been other cracks, but it definitely splintered strong ties |
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I don't want to live in an echo chamber, and I like having discussions/debates with people where we may disagree on something and I can hopefully make them see a different viewpoint or I may learn something new myself and change how I see things. BUT there are some big fundamental values we would still need to be aligned on if we are to be friends (or lovers especially). |
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It depends on how vocal they are, I have friends with wildly differing opinions but they are not constantly trying to tell me I need to see things their way and vice versa, it’s all about accepting that people have their own opinions and I don’t have to agree with them and they don’t have to agree with me. |
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No, not when it comes to supporting views that directly harm others. Supporting a party like Reform, being pro-Israeli, a trump supporter, doesn't sit right with me. They target certain demographics, these people are okay with human beings being hurt, and I simply refuse to engage with them, or even consider being friends with them. If I had a friend like that, I would cut them off. |
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Every body has a right to my opinion. 🙂
I have a few friends who definitely have different opinions to me.
With some it is possible to have a grown up debate about our different views then still enjoy a beer after.
There is one view that I will not move on though.
Has to be jam first. 😉 |
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By *dalisqueWoman 6 weeks ago
land of make believe |
Maintaining friendships despite differing viewpoints can be a rewarding experience. It encourages open-mindedness and fosters understanding between individuals. Respectful dialogue creates a space for exploring contrasting perspectives. These conversations, though sometimes challenging, can lead to personal growth.
Embracing these differences strengthens the bonds of friendship and broadens our own worldview.A positive for all.
Having said that if it is something contry to my fundamental beliefs -racism,homophobia,extreme political or religious viewpoints I could no longer embrace the friendship.
I used to have a no sex with Tories rule! Now it would encompass other political parties & mindsets too.
🩵
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Of course you can and actually you want them to be able to when you are asking for an honest opinion on something or debating an important issue. However, there are certain things that are non negotiable and that could potentially mean I could not be friends with that person. For example that might be about extreme political and societal views or actions that are against my beliefs, morals and standards as a person but not exclusively. You usually know when there is potential for friendship when you meet someone though might not be immediate and comes in due course. |
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Of course. My closest friend has a couple of views wildly but different to mine. We've spoken about it, disagree and generally don't talk about those topics since we know where eachother stand. I find their views frustrating but in every other way they're wonderful people and it would be a big loss to not have them in my life. |
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There are some fundamentals that I wouldn't accept a difference on but it all depends on how strongly held those beliefs are.
A previous fwb had very different political opinions to me, including the way we voted and on brexit but we were able to have constructive discussion about why we had those differences. It wasn't an issue for me as a friend but I could never have a relationship with him. |
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Disagreements on issues are generally not an issue.
I think when the disagreement is over somebody being hateful (racism, sexism etc.) then it gets difficult. If somebody is a raving Trumpist then it would be almost impossible because we then share a different reality because of all his lies they believe, and they would have very different values. |
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"
My ex voted for Brexit and well she’s my ex now
A guy a work split up with his missus after they disagreed on brexit. There must have been other cracks, but it definitely splintered strong ties "
I'd have split up with my partner if they voted for Brexit too.
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By *vaRoseWoman 6 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
It depends on the level of disagreement
For example; Ketchup or brown sauce is an easy one to bypass, being a Tory is not.
Racist, gammon wanking, Farage bumming, Trump licking, transphobic morons are never going to be people I’d trust as a friend.
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By *hagTonight OP Man 6 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"You can be it depends how extreme the views are imo. Me and most of the people I call friends are pretty aligned socially on those similar type topics. In most instances you don’t wanna be fully in agreement on everything but like I said on things like genocide, racism, misogyny etc it’s generally pretty binary imo.
My ex voted for Brexit and well she’s my ex now
"
Yes, it also depends how extreme the views are too  |
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I *PERSONALLY* wouldn’t want to be friends if we disagreed on big topics like you mention above, OP.
Disagreeing on sporting opinions or on whether a dress is blue and black or white and gold is fine. Disagreeing on murder, climate change, people’s right to exist, racism etc. then sorry we can’t be friends. Colleagues, fine. Friends that are in my life, that know my real life and maybe even my child? GOD FORBID. |
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A million percent! One of my friends leans quite right on the topic of things like immigration and that whole process whereas I leans quite left. We've discussed it, didn't talk each other down, and essentially understood each other's viewpoints. It's almost like people on the internet need to touch grass and actually speak to the people they disagree with to better get their points across 🤔 |
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"A million percent! One of my friends leans quite right on the topic of things like immigration and that whole process whereas I leans quite left. We've discussed it, didn't talk each other down, and essentially understood each other's viewpoints. It's almost like people on the internet need to touch grass and actually speak to the people they disagree with to better get their points across 🤔"
My life is more peaceful and my depression is more manageable when those people aren’t in my life. 🧘🏾♂️ |
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"I *PERSONALLY* wouldn’t want to be friends if we disagreed on big topics like you mention above, OP.
Disagreeing on sporting opinions or on whether a dress is blue and black or white and gold is fine. Disagreeing on murder, climate change, people’s right to exist, racism etc. then sorry we can’t be friends. Colleagues, fine. Friends that are in my life, that know my real life and maybe even my child? GOD FORBID. "
What if the dress is quite clearly pink?  |
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"I *PERSONALLY* wouldn’t want to be friends if we disagreed on big topics like you mention above, OP.
Disagreeing on sporting opinions or on whether a dress is blue and black or white and gold is fine. Disagreeing on murder, climate change, people’s right to exist, racism etc. then sorry we can’t be friends. Colleagues, fine. Friends that are in my life, that know my real life and maybe even my child? GOD FORBID.
What if the dress is quite clearly pink? "
I’m totally fine with people who don’t see colour *if it’s related to a dress*  |
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"You can be it depends how extreme the views are imo. Me and most of the people I call friends are pretty aligned socially on those similar type topics. In most instances you don’t wanna be fully in agreement on everything but like I said on things like genocide, racism, misogyny etc it’s generally pretty binary imo.
My ex voted for Brexit and well she’s my ex now
"
That [chick] your ex for a reason though - Summer Walker |
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"You can be it depends how extreme the views are imo. Me and most of the people I call friends are pretty aligned socially on those similar type topics. In most instances you don’t wanna be fully in agreement on everything but like I said on things like genocide, racism, misogyny etc it’s generally pretty binary imo.
My ex voted for Brexit and well she’s my ex now
That [chick] your ex for a reason though - Summer Walker "
I mean there was also the time that I had a row with one of her family who asked me if I wanted “anything from the p**i shop.”
 |
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"You can be it depends how extreme the views are imo. Me and most of the people I call friends are pretty aligned socially on those similar type topics. In most instances you don’t wanna be fully in agreement on everything but like I said on things like genocide, racism, misogyny etc it’s generally pretty binary imo.
My ex voted for Brexit and well she’s my ex now
That [chick] your ex for a reason though - Summer Walker
I mean there was also the time that I had a row with one of her family who asked me if I wanted “anything from the p**i shop.”
"
Time to diversify your interests |
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"A million percent! One of my friends leans quite right on the topic of things like immigration and that whole process whereas I leans quite left. We've discussed it, didn't talk each other down, and essentially understood each other's viewpoints. It's almost like people on the internet need to touch grass and actually speak to the people they disagree with to better get their points across 🤔
My life is more peaceful and my depression is more manageable when those people aren’t in my life. 🧘🏾♂️"
I do get what you mean and to be fair, I wondered whether we could be friends when I first found out about his political leanings but we get on in other aspects and his views aren't really extreme to the point it's problematic for me to listen to but others will have different tolerances. |
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"You can be it depends how extreme the views are imo. Me and most of the people I call friends are pretty aligned socially on those similar type topics. In most instances you don’t wanna be fully in agreement on everything but like I said on things like genocide, racism, misogyny etc it’s generally pretty binary imo.
My ex voted for Brexit and well she’s my ex now
That [chick] your ex for a reason though - Summer Walker
I mean there was also the time that I had a row with one of her family who asked me if I wanted “anything from the p**i shop.”
"
One of my exes once messaged me out of the blue to say she saw me in town and asked why I was dating a "ch*nk". To say I was angry was putting it lightly |
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"You can be it depends how extreme the views are imo. Me and most of the people I call friends are pretty aligned socially on those similar type topics. In most instances you don’t wanna be fully in agreement on everything but like I said on things like genocide, racism, misogyny etc it’s generally pretty binary imo.
My ex voted for Brexit and well she’s my ex now
That [chick] your ex for a reason though - Summer Walker
I mean there was also the time that I had a row with one of her family who asked me if I wanted “anything from the p**i shop.”
One of my exes once messaged me out of the blue to say she saw me in town and asked why I was dating a "ch*nk". To say I was angry was putting it lightly "
Nah these examples are absolutely crazy.
I would fold into a paper airplane before anyone could be comfortable saying this shit to me |
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"You can be it depends how extreme the views are imo. Me and most of the people I call friends are pretty aligned socially on those similar type topics. In most instances you don’t wanna be fully in agreement on everything but like I said on things like genocide, racism, misogyny etc it’s generally pretty binary imo.
My ex voted for Brexit and well she’s my ex now
That [chick] your ex for a reason though - Summer Walker
I mean there was also the time that I had a row with one of her family who asked me if I wanted “anything from the p**i shop.”
Time to diversify your interests"
⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️ |
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"You can be it depends how extreme the views are imo. Me and most of the people I call friends are pretty aligned socially on those similar type topics. In most instances you don’t wanna be fully in agreement on everything but like I said on things like genocide, racism, misogyny etc it’s generally pretty binary imo.
My ex voted for Brexit and well she’s my ex now
That [chick] your ex for a reason though - Summer Walker
I mean there was also the time that I had a row with one of her family who asked me if I wanted “anything from the p**i shop.”
One of my exes once messaged me out of the blue to say she saw me in town and asked why I was dating a "ch*nk". To say I was angry was putting it lightly
Nah these examples are absolutely crazy.
I would fold into a paper airplane before anyone could be comfortable saying this shit to me"
It was the worst row we had and I moved out shortly after. I’ve never forgotten it  |
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"You can be it depends how extreme the views are imo. Me and most of the people I call friends are pretty aligned socially on those similar type topics. In most instances you don’t wanna be fully in agreement on everything but like I said on things like genocide, racism, misogyny etc it’s generally pretty binary imo.
My ex voted for Brexit and well she’s my ex now
That [chick] your ex for a reason though - Summer Walker
I mean there was also the time that I had a row with one of her family who asked me if I wanted “anything from the p**i shop.”
Time to diversify your interests
⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️"
I hate you 🥷 |
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"You can be it depends how extreme the views are imo. Me and most of the people I call friends are pretty aligned socially on those similar type topics. In most instances you don’t wanna be fully in agreement on everything but like I said on things like genocide, racism, misogyny etc it’s generally pretty binary imo.
My ex voted for Brexit and well she’s my ex now
That [chick] your ex for a reason though - Summer Walker
I mean there was also the time that I had a row with one of her family who asked me if I wanted “anything from the p**i shop.”
One of my exes once messaged me out of the blue to say she saw me in town and asked why I was dating a "ch*nk". To say I was angry was putting it lightly
Nah these examples are absolutely crazy.
I would fold into a paper airplane before anyone could be comfortable saying this shit to me
It was the worst row we had and I moved out shortly after. I’ve never forgotten it "
Nah that would stick with you for sure |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 6 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Short answer: yes I disagree with my friend's about stuff, but there are some non negotiable, like being a trump supporter or a bigot. Then we just wouldn't be friend's"
Hi dildoswagginsthe3rd, yes, you are right there, that there are some non negotiable things too |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 6 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"One of my friends is also my hairdresser - she has very strong views on everything and likes to actively discuss them. Unfortunately we have very different stances on UK politics, social care + reform, refugees, Trump etc.
She has a few areas where she's a total hypocrite, but interestingly doesn't recognize it
I mostly try to avoid lighting the blue touch paper and we talk about softer topics. "
Hi midnight, that is good you try to avoid lighting the blue touch paper and instead, you talk about softer topics too |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 6 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I disagree with a lot of things my best friend says, and vice versa, but it’s one of the reason’s we are best friends, we balance each other out."
That is good, yes you balance each other out too |
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Yes of course you can ..
I have loads of friends who's opinions vary greatly from mine but we agree not to talk about it too much and when we do we listen to each other's opinion because we are adults ..
Some folk sadly haven't got to the becoming an adult bit yet 😆 |
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"Most of the public are extremists left and right of the spectrum.
They have no independent or objective opinions of their own.
"
I'd disagree. I think that's a delusion of the online world and how it feeds information and cultivates clicks.
I still think the majority of people in everyday face to face life fall between the extremes and are far more nuanced, even the ones I disagree with |
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My last landlady was a Trump supporters. Who still doesn't think covid exists...even though she caught it and tested positive.
She supports West Ham and despite that. She never got round to burying me in her back garden. The wind ups were brilliant though. |
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Definitely. It's healthy to be able to discuss and disagree as well as to be able to be sensitive and respectful of differences.
It's potentially harder if you disagree on some fundamentally ideological points, that each side might view as beyond uncomfortable, verging on offensive positions.
I have friends who I'm close to, where we have very different political outlooks. It's fine to do that but I'd be less ready to spend much time with others, where we had something about us that was a dominant aspect of our personality and outlook, with an inability to put it aside.
We can learn so much from what is different, maybe where we're stuck and haven't really listened before. Being close to someone, possibly gives us an opportunity to get more open and vulnerable, in ways we would be less ready to, with strangers. |
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By *iseekingbiCouple 6 weeks ago
N ireland and West Midlands |
OP if someone is a racist or a Faragist, then they aren't friends of ours. We don't go in for that let's not talk about politics stuff. If your world view is so very different from ours then let's not get into each other's pants eh? |
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I wouldn't suggest that chemtrails for example are a fact to disagree one. Ones an opinion routed in online driven misinformation, ones fact. Entertaining the idea one is even remotely likely is ridiculous.
I have friends with different political beliefs, I can respect their right to have them, even if I don't agree with them. That's different.
If those views extended to extreme right wing based in fear and aimed at isolating, generating hatred for others or actively encouraging harm we wouldn't be friends anymore. |
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I have a a lot of friends that don’t have the same opinions as I do. Some of which of we did talk about, would need to be handled with care. I know generally not to ask for their opinion on detail on such matters as do they know not to ask me, unless we want to understand the other persons perspective. It’s an opinion after all. Not a fact, and by not talking, you will never understand different perspectives and why we think as we do |
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By *iseekingbiCouple 6 weeks ago
N ireland and West Midlands |
"Couldn't be friends with a lefty. They're the most intolerant people.
So does that make you a lefty then?? 🤔"
Funnily enough, we find right wing people the most intolerant. They are snowflakes about everything and absolutely irate about everything all the time- including lefties.It's a wonder they don't self combust. |
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"Chemtrails probably sound less far fetched after the government announced their plans to experiment with dimming the Sun, the tinfoil hat brigade may have been on to something..... "
Just on something |
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I'm an avid listener. So I let them talk and talk. In my head are Friend Venn Circles and the one in the middle is "Do these views actively support harm to others ?"
Folks start in the Venn Wilderness and then nudge themselves in to various circles. They do the sorting themselves.
As you can imagine, the middle circle is where they manage themselves out of the friendship. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 6 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Disagreements on issues are generally not an issue.
I think when the disagreement is over somebody being hateful (racism, sexism etc.) then it gets difficult. If somebody is a raving Trumpist then it would be almost impossible because we then share a different reality because of all his lies they believe, and they would have very different values. "
Hi _partharmony, that is good disagreement on issues are generally not an issue too |
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"The world would be such a boring place if we all agreed with each other.. a good debate is needed every once in a while. Just agree to disagree and respect you both have a difference in opinions x"
I completely disagree, but respect your right to have wrong opinions. At least you're not from Runcorn. |
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"The world would be such a boring place if we all agreed with each other.. a good debate is needed every once in a while. Just agree to disagree and respect you both have a difference in opinions x"
Totally agree.. If only reality was like that 🤷♂️ |
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"The world would be such a boring place if we all agreed with each other.. a good debate is needed every once in a while. Just agree to disagree and respect you both have a difference in opinions x
I completely disagree, but respect your right to have wrong opinions. At least you're not from Runcorn."
Originally Liverpool lol.. used to live in Runcorn though (which didn’t used to be as bad as it is lol).. |
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"The world would be such a boring place if we all agreed with each other.. a good debate is needed every once in a while. Just agree to disagree and respect you both have a difference in opinions x
I completely disagree, but respect your right to have wrong opinions. At least you're not from Runcorn.
Originally Liverpool lol.. used to live in Runcorn though (which didn’t used to be as bad as it is lol).."
In that case, my sincere apologies and I completely agree with you. |
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"The world would be such a boring place if we all agreed with each other.. a good debate is needed every once in a while. Just agree to disagree and respect you both have a difference in opinions x
Totally agree.. If only reality was like that 🤷♂️"
That's the funny thing though, reality is like that. It's the chronically online that will make you believe everyone is either for or against something to the extreme and the platforms will obviously promote those opinions because it drives engagement and clicks. It's actually really simple to see through when you think about it. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 6 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Chemtrails probably sound less far fetched after the government announced their plans to experiment with dimming the Sun, the tinfoil hat brigade may have been on to something.....
Just on something "
Yes, it is nothing new, spain recently admitted the chemtrail method of military geoengineering for changing the climate, it is on the european parliament site, where they also mentioned what type of chemicals they are spraying with too. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 6 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Yes, my best friend and I disagree on a number of things, but we accept who we are, and what we believe, have been friends since our teens, and will be friends until we die "
That is good you both accept it too |
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