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Private messages from Forum threads
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By *eyeY OP Couple 11 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
Wondered about others experience of receiving messages from thread's you have commented on..
We're far from against them, some resulting in very fun mutual experiences! 😉😈
Some however have been utterly disrespectful and frankly crude in their approach, generally an immediate block from us..
Evidently we're far from prudish, but because we partake in activities topically spoke of on the forum, our feelings are that doesn't invite such messages..
Understand we shouldn't expect the benefits without the cost, but.. xx |
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I do, occasionally, but it's often 'contextual' or has some relevance to the thread. It's not a preordained mechanism or conduit to get into someone's knickers.
I do get often get messages from lurkers and strangers who have messaged me via a thread. The messages I receive are between "friendly" and "cringe worthy", the latter giving rise to the "Please Keep It To The Thread!" type response. |
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I think the same rules apply to messaging the normal way, be respectful and don’t pester people. Those that really don’t like it should probably make it clear on their profile because it is a feature of the site and a very very useful one for making connection. |
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By *lowupdollTV/TS 11 weeks ago
Herts/Beds/Leeds/London |
I’ve had a mix of things which could’ve been said in the forum (so I immediately ask myself why not just reply on the thread itself and conclude they just don’t want to be ‘seen’ engaging with me or my category), lurkers with an opinion on everything, and occasionally something abusive or unpleasant. |
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By *eyeY OP Couple 11 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
A few responses which sound familiar.. Glad it's not just us!!
Feels a little like the, wearing something revealing so we asked for it mentality.
Guess it's just another filter/block indicator..
The latter has been implemented 6 times this morning, but as mentioned we've thoroughly enjoyed the results of some dm's.. 👊😘 |
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By *eyeY OP Couple 11 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"I’ve had a mix of things which could’ve been said in the forum (so I immediately ask myself why not just reply on the thread itself and conclude they just don’t want to be ‘seen’ engaging with me or my category), lurkers with an opinion on everything, and occasionally something abusive or unpleasant. "
Exactly! Probably mentioning "discretion" on their bio as well 🤔🤣 |
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I guess it depends on the thread content I guess as if a tribute thread or send a pic or pic roulette etc then it would be a private message.
If something that is not necessarily needed a private message then can be a nuisance BUT also if they see your comment and view your profile and read it and think they match the criteria and could make a good connection then surely a private message is a good thing?? |
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By *vaRoseWoman 11 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
Sometimes it’s just something pertinent to a thread - or a follow on that might be a bit more personal. I have definitely chatted to other type 1 diabetics for example via a forum thread with stuff they might not be comfortable sharing publicly.
Sometimes it’s a member on the thread and they just want to chat
Most of the time it’s a lurker who thinks this is a great way to enter a chat. Yesterdays was completely unrelated to the thread and was asking to sniff my sweaty knickers 
The final one, I get a lurker who messages like clockwork every week after a certain thread with a photo. I’m assuming they’re unable to use the forums themselves and so interact this way. Either way it’s harmless. |
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By *dalisqueWoman 11 weeks ago
land of make believe |
I,as I am sure many do, recieve a handful of messages for varying reasons relating to forum topics.
Some are more welcome than others.
As with all messages I either block,tell off,send a cheeky retort or I just swoon & send something incomprehensible.
A rude message from a stranger doesn't affect me.
🩵
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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I've actually received a message off a proper forum hottie (shock horror). Obviously I've no objection to having a conversation with someone who's willing to message first, to discuss what's been written in the thread. |
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I'd say 95% of messages from forum threads have been fine - follow ups to something, maybe too private to share, sometimes just something funny that I might understand but could be taken in the wrong way, that sort of thing.
The other 5%? Ugh. Men, don't do that. |
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"I often message people on the back of threads, but it's always polite and related to the thread, sometimes witty quip. "
Same here and don't mind getting them either as long as are nice messages and usually are. |
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By *B..Woman 11 weeks ago
Wiltshire |
The best one I had was after a comment I made about how I liked my steak cooked, he berated me and then told me he was blocking me, never seen the guy before 😂
I don’t mind msgs off the threads as long as their relatable to the subject |
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By *eyeY OP Couple 11 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"The best one I had was after a comment I made about how I liked my steak cooked, he berated me and then told me he was blocking me, never seen the guy before 😂
I don’t mind msgs off the threads as long as their relatable to the subject"
🤣🤷🤣 |
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By *eliWoman 11 weeks ago
. |
For the most part they've been very positive - some a bit dreary but it is what it is; I undoubtedly send dreary messages as well.
There are some threads where I've regretted being a bit more open about sexual things but I'm not annoyed at men for messaging one handed and trying it on. The penis is control, I get it. Ovulation I'm a feral one handed messenger as well. |
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By *eyeY OP Couple 11 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"For the most part they've been very positive - some a bit dreary but it is what it is; I undoubtedly send dreary messages as well.
There are some threads where I've regretted being a bit more open about sexual things but I'm not annoyed at men for messaging one handed and trying it on. The penis is control, I get it. Ovulation I'm a feral one handed messenger as well."
Yup! 😘 |
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By *glyBettyTV/TS 11 weeks ago
Not in your area |
Almost invariably in my experience, these are a kind of semi-anonymous people, who haven't posted in the topic itself, and wants to respond to something you said in a post with some form of moon logic, but have just enough awareness to know their viewpoint is problematic enough to not want it scrutinized in the forum, but nonetheless feel it's ok to personally harass you with thoughts they don't have the bravery to express in public |
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I commented on a thread a couple of years ago and the woman who started it challenged me privately.
I had no option other than to call her out on her own thread which was ironically a rant about people using the reply privately option rather than having the balls to respond publicly.
I then received a follow up message from one of her friends telling me I shouldn't have done it as it was embarrassing for her.
Six months ago I asked a question on a thread started by a couple who were also having a rant in regard to their status at the time which wasn't consistent with what they were saying.
They sent me numerous private messages calling me names and telling me it was none of my business.
Again I called them out on their own thread for not keeping it in the forums and that triggered a raft of messages, one after the other with no reply from me before I blocked them.
It was only at that point when they realised they couldn't send any more that they responded on the thread making false accusations about how I had attacked them in private.
The private message thread was there for admin to see if they decided to report me so they were pissing in the wind.
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I've recieved a few messages when commenting and for me it's mostly about the approach. I understand that some aren't able to comment on the forums but would like to join in others it's a confidence/personal thing.
The full on overtly sexual first messages and fantasies I recieve are ignored, unless I've been caught on a bad day but I try not to put much thought or engery towards those replies. 🖤
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The ones we receive are usually from a sex scene or a fantasy we’ve described and someone deciding to tell us a story or go into detail about how they could make a particular fantasy come true.
If they’ve commented on the forum post it would be ok, but most of the time they haven’t and it feels a little creepy 😬
K |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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"Wondered about others experience of receiving messages from thread's you have commented on..
We're far from against them, some resulting in very fun mutual experiences! 😉😈
Some however have been utterly disrespectful and frankly crude in their approach, generally an immediate block from us..
Evidently we're far from prudish, but because we partake in activities topically spoke of on the forum, our feelings are that doesn't invite such messages..
Understand we shouldn't expect the benefits without the cost, but.. xx"
I think mainly everyone I speak to now is off forums!🙈 I love a private message!🤭 |
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"I’ve had a mix of things which could’ve been said in the forum (so I immediately ask myself why not just reply on the thread itself and conclude they just don’t want to be ‘seen’ engaging with me or my category), lurkers with an opinion on everything, and occasionally something abusive or unpleasant. "
I suspect a lot of people PM off the thread because they're unable to post on the forums for "reasons".
Usually "reasons" that are painfully obvious when you read the message..... |
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"Wondered about others experience of receiving messages from thread's you have commented on..
We're far from against them, some resulting in very fun mutual experiences! 😉😈
Some however have been utterly disrespectful and frankly crude in their approach, generally an immediate block from us..
Evidently we're far from prudish, but because we partake in activities topically spoke of on the forum, our feelings are that doesn't invite such messages..
Understand we shouldn't expect the benefits without the cost, but.. xx
I think mainly everyone I speak to now is off forums!🙈 I love a private message!🤭"
Inbox meltdown incoming 🤣🤣 |
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I like when conversations start from threads on here.
They can be engaging and stimulating.
What I don't like is when someone comes to my dms to continue a discussion or berate me for an opinion because they don't want to do it in public.
I can't respect people who are afraid to share their beliefs in a public setting but feel them strongly enough to dm me |
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One woman took it upon herself to slide into my DMs and make quite derogatory comments about me and obviously thought I wasn't intelligent or articulate enough to defend myself. Needless to say she was quite surprised and obviously put out that I dare reply and defend myself. She wasn't very nice at all and I had to block her in the end. She came across as very self centred and arrogant. But, that's fab for you sadly x
Mrs x |
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By *eyeY OP Couple 11 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"Almost invariably in my experience, these are a kind of semi-anonymous people, who haven't posted in the topic itself, and wants to respond to something you said in a post with some form of moon logic, but have just enough awareness to know their viewpoint is problematic enough to not want it scrutinized in the forum, but nonetheless feel it's ok to personally harass you with thoughts they don't have the bravery to express in public "
Yes, feel you may get more than many "Lurkers" 😔 |
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By *eyeY OP Couple 11 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"The ones we receive are usually from a sex scene or a fantasy we’ve described and someone deciding to tell us a story or go into detail about how they could make a particular fantasy come true.
If they’ve commented on the forum post it would be ok, but most of the time they haven’t and it feels a little creepy 😬
K"
A strange one isn't it.. But absolutely! 😘 |
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I don't mind them, if someone genuinely wants to discuss the topic of the thread.
I've had a few from women and couples when they've wanted to say something about the post or my reply.
I hate them when it's a random perv who hasn't taken part and just wants to be creepy or start sex chat, rank. |
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By *eyeY OP Couple 11 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"My personal opinion is that if you contribute to the forum you will occasionally get private messages based on that.
"
And as stated, we've on occasion been more than happy of the fact..
Merely asking others thoughts on they're experience of less than lifestyle 'etiquette aware' one's |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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I've sent a couple when it's either requested or a detailed answer that'd be too long for the thread as a shorter version had been posted.
I've also recieved a couple, 1 leading to a Meet, so, no , I think they can be great if not abused or abusive (Sorry You've had that) |
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"My personal opinion is that if you contribute to the forum you will occasionally get private messages based on that.
And as stated, we've on occasion been more than happy of the fact..
Merely asking others thoughts on they're experience of less than lifestyle 'etiquette aware' one's "
Yes, I wasn't disagreeing with you or implying that you didn't enjoy receiving them  .
That was more to counter the argument from people who think it's rude or intrusive. |
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By *glyBettyTV/TS 11 weeks ago
Not in your area |
Whether it's a face pic, a body organ, or an opinion that someone - for whatever reason - doesn't feel brave enough to discuss openly in the place where it's being discussed, an unsolicited message is still an unsolicited message.
Obviously, posting in the forum opens up the possibility of receiving unsolicited messages of a bizarre nature, much like how posting pics of oneself in various states of undress on a sex website invites the possibility of recieving crude/rude messages, yet it seems not a day goes by without someone starting a thread complaining about the kind of messages they receive. So there are some of us who are nonetheless bothered by these clandestine antics.
As much as it's inevitable that these things will happen, discussing the motivations of the anon forum-lurkers is also a valid point to raise, I feel. |
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By *eyeY OP Couple 11 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"My personal opinion is that if you contribute to the forum you will occasionally get private messages based on that.
And as stated, we've on occasion been more than happy of the fact..
Merely asking others thoughts on they're experience of less than lifestyle 'etiquette aware' one's
Yes, I wasn't disagreeing with you or implying that you didn't enjoy receiving them .
That was more to counter the argument from people who think it's rude or intrusive. "
👍 There's a balance isn't there. |
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By *lowupdollTV/TS 11 weeks ago
Herts/Beds/Leeds/London |
"I’ve had a mix of things which could’ve been said in the forum (so I immediately ask myself why not just reply on the thread itself and conclude they just don’t want to be ‘seen’ engaging with me or my category), lurkers with an opinion on everything, and occasionally something abusive or unpleasant.
Exactly! Probably mentioning "discretion" on their bio as well 🤔🤣"
Not so much (though I see where you went with that) - guys who will pass over me in the forums then slide in my DMs. |
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By *mmaleiaWoman 11 weeks ago
Trowbridge |
"Tbh I very rarely get them, but there’s one chap who used to message me semi-aggressively fairly regularly and when I asked him if we were flirting he stopped messaging 🤣"
Think we had the same ‘problem’
I just assumed he had special needs |
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"Tbh I very rarely get them, but there’s one chap who used to message me semi-aggressively fairly regularly and when I asked him if we were flirting he stopped messaging 🤣
Think we had the same ‘problem’
I just assumed he had special needs"
You get some interesting people on here |
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We don't think there should be a button on the forum allowing people to reply privately.
The amount of abuse and bullshit we've recieved over the years, just because someone doesn't agree with our opinion. |
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By *glyBettyTV/TS 11 weeks ago
Not in your area |
"We don't think there should be a button on the forum allowing people to reply privately.
The amount of abuse and bullshit we've recieved over the years, just because someone doesn't agree with our opinion. "
I agree with this.
If someone feels that strongly about something you've said in a public discussion forum that they feel the need to DM you, in a couple of clicks they could just message you on your profile anyway.
This affront to forum etiquette should be made harder for them to do, not easier. |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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"We don't think there should be a button on the forum allowing people to reply privately.
The amount of abuse and bullshit we've received over the years, just because someone doesn't agree with our opinion. "
Agreed. If you don't have the bollocks to disagree/air your own opinions publicly, then you shouldn't be allowed to do it privately. |
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"We don't think there should be a button on the forum allowing people to reply privately."
•
I don't disagree but that won't solve everything:
1. The reply privately feature is useful for some of the inclusive forum games, matchmaker threads, the fab challenges, "send a compliment" ...most of which require messaging people (or the OP).
2. If the reply privately feature didn't exist people would simply just click on your insitu profile name and just message you from there. |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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I like these.
Sometimes I'll get an interesting conversation going (from another man) if the thread is about something philosophical or a more niche interest.. |
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We've recently had one idiot message us directly as he felt we had been insensitive to a reply on a thread. In fact the OP has thanked us for our feedback so he was clearly just stirring up trouble. His own profile suggests that he is quite antagonistic with a 'fuck you' attitude, which i find quite amusing. But others could easily feel bullied or intimidated.
People seem to forget that this is really about fun, freedom and enjoyment away from real world problems. |
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I've had a few nice chats from posting in various threads. I've even met two single ladies from the forum this way, neither of whom were anywhere near local to me, so never think the forum isn't a way to get meets! Just don't expect any though!  |
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By *glyBettyTV/TS 10 weeks ago
Not in your area |
"Almost invariably in my experience, these are a kind of semi-anonymous people, who haven't posted in the topic itself, and wants to respond to something you said in a post with some form of moon logic, but have just enough awareness to know their viewpoint is problematic enough to not want it scrutinized in the forum, but nonetheless feel it's ok to personally harass you with thoughts they don't have the bravery to express in public "
Bump. |
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"Wondered about others experience of receiving messages from thread's you have commented on..
We're far from against them, some resulting in very fun mutual experiences! 😉😈
Some however have been utterly disrespectful and frankly crude in their approach, generally an immediate block from us..
Evidently we're far from prudish, but because we partake in activities topically spoke of on the forum, our feelings are that doesn't invite such messages..
Understand we shouldn't expect the benefits without the cost, but.. xx"
I've recieved a number of messages from when i have commented on forum threads... at times (depending on the thread) will add a comment
"Before you Grace my inbox please read my profile"...
works usually most are polite... so far xx |
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