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My penis it’s not fucking working

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman 7 weeks ago

North West

Does it need to work? Or can it live off a comfortable inheritance? 🤔

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By *its_and_TiramisuCouple 7 weeks ago

North Somerset

Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in? 🤣

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman 7 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

Have you tried running it thru the dishwasher ?

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By *orny PTMan 7 weeks ago

Peterborough

Was it OK, before the latest update?

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Does it need to work? Or can it live off a comfortable inheritance? 🤔"

Good question, Julie.

Unfortunately I would prefer not to tell the people about what the pickle might inherit. In case you know…

They try to

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Does it need to work? Or can it live off a comfortable inheritance? 🤔

Good question, Julie.

Unfortunately I would prefer not to tell the people about what the pickle might inherit. In case you know…

They try to "

Marry me

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in? 🤣 "

I need the help of you two, my favourite superheroes

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried running it thru the dishwasher ? "

It hasn’t been wet before. I’m not sure?

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Was it OK, before the latest update?"

Yes! Worked last week. Hasn’t worked in 4 days now though.

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By *rSircumsizedMan 7 weeks ago

Newport

Bang the side of him a few times, it done the trick on my old telly.

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Bang the side of him a few times, it done the trick on my old telly."

I’m not an old TV!!

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By *its_and_TiramisuCouple 7 weeks ago

North Somerset


"Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in? 🤣

I need the help of you two, my favourite superheroes "

I'm sure we could assist pickle.... 😜.....

First aid trained maybe the kiss of life would do it 🤣

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in? 🤣

I need the help of you two, my favourite superheroes

I'm sure we could assist pickle.... 😜.....

First aid trained maybe the kiss of life would do it 🤣 "

Yes! I think we need to be prepared to try LOTS of things

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By *its_and_TiramisuCouple 7 weeks ago

North Somerset

Stick it in a bag of rice?

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Stick it in a bag of rice? "

Basmati or long grain?

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By *its_and_TiramisuCouple 7 weeks ago

North Somerset


"Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in? 🤣

I need the help of you two, my favourite superheroes

I'm sure we could assist pickle.... 😜.....

First aid trained maybe the kiss of life would do it 🤣

Yes! I think we need to be prepared to try LOTS of things "

Fuck your broken penis! My imagination is running wild.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman 7 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).


"Have you tried running it thru the dishwasher ?

It hasn’t been wet before. I’m not sure?"

Maybe a gentle hand washing might be more suitable.

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By *its_and_TiramisuCouple 7 weeks ago

North Somerset


"Stick it in a bag of rice?

Basmati or long grain?"

Basmati for sure....

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By *aizyWoman 7 weeks ago

west midlands

Where did you get it from? Did you keep the receipt? Maybe try taking it back and see if they'll exchange it.

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in? 🤣

I need the help of you two, my favourite superheroes

I'm sure we could assist pickle.... 😜.....

First aid trained maybe the kiss of life would do it 🤣

Yes! I think we need to be prepared to try LOTS of things

Fuck your broken penis! My imagination is running wild. "

What’s that type of CPR when you sit on my face to administer it???

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried running it thru the dishwasher ?

It hasn’t been wet before. I’m not sure?

Maybe a gentle hand washing might be more suitable. "

tried that. Stupid thing still won’t spurt. Think it’s clogged?

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By *dam1971Man 7 weeks ago

Bedford

I’ve got some jump leads in the car if you like

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Stick it in a bag of rice?

Basmati or long grain?

Basmati for sure...."

😍 Correct

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By *its_and_TiramisuCouple 7 weeks ago

North Somerset


"Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in? 🤣

I need the help of you two, my favourite superheroes

I'm sure we could assist pickle.... 😜.....

First aid trained maybe the kiss of life would do it 🤣

Yes! I think we need to be prepared to try LOTS of things

Fuck your broken penis! My imagination is running wild.

What’s that type of CPR when you sit on my face to administer it???"

I don't quite remember..... refresher course needed. Please and thanks

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman 7 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).


"Have you tried running it thru the dishwasher ?

It hasn’t been wet before. I’m not sure?

Maybe a gentle hand washing might be more suitable. tried that. Stupid thing still won’t spurt. Think it’s clogged?"

Sounds like it might be.

Maybe you need a professional ....

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Where did you get it from? Did you keep the receipt? Maybe try taking it back and see if they'll exchange it."
this was the last Black one they had

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"I’ve got some jump leads in the car if you like "
do they attach to my nipples? I thought they do?

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in? 🤣

I need the help of you two, my favourite superheroes

I'm sure we could assist pickle.... 😜.....

First aid trained maybe the kiss of life would do it 🤣

Yes! I think we need to be prepared to try LOTS of things

Fuck your broken penis! My imagination is running wild.

What’s that type of CPR when you sit on my face to administer it???

I don't quite remember..... refresher course needed. Please and thanks "

Ok, I’ll book you in to my next one

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried running it thru the dishwasher ?

It hasn’t been wet before. I’m not sure?

Maybe a gentle hand washing might be more suitable. tried that. Stupid thing still won’t spurt. Think it’s clogged?

Sounds like it might be.

Maybe you need a professional ...."

A professional spinster? 😣

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman 7 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).


"Have you tried running it thru the dishwasher ?

It hasn’t been wet before. I’m not sure?

Maybe a gentle hand washing might be more suitable. tried that. Stupid thing still won’t spurt. Think it’s clogged?

Sounds like it might be.

Maybe you need a professional ....

A professional spinster? 😣 "

I'm not sure. If I've got issues with domestic stuff, I tend to get some man in to fix it.

I suspect this may not be your best recourse.

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By *its_and_TiramisuCouple 7 weeks ago

North Somerset


"Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in? 🤣

I need the help of you two, my favourite superheroes

I'm sure we could assist pickle.... 😜.....

First aid trained maybe the kiss of life would do it 🤣

Yes! I think we need to be prepared to try LOTS of things

Fuck your broken penis! My imagination is running wild.

What’s that type of CPR when you sit on my face to administer it???

I don't quite remember..... refresher course needed. Please and thanks

Ok, I’ll book you in to my next one "

I want a certificate at the end.... to put with my CV....

" qualified face sitter "

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried running it thru the dishwasher ?

It hasn’t been wet before. I’m not sure?

Maybe a gentle hand washing might be more suitable. tried that. Stupid thing still won’t spurt. Think it’s clogged?

Sounds like it might be.

Maybe you need a professional ....

A professional spinster? 😣

I'm not sure. If I've got issues with domestic stuff, I tend to get some man in to fix it.

I suspect this may not be your best recourse. "

I’m desperate.

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By *heGateKeeperMan 7 weeks ago

Stratford

Deffo blame the motivation and tell them to up their game

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in? 🤣

I need the help of you two, my favourite superheroes

I'm sure we could assist pickle.... 😜.....

First aid trained maybe the kiss of life would do it 🤣

Yes! I think we need to be prepared to try LOTS of things

Fuck your broken penis! My imagination is running wild.

What’s that type of CPR when you sit on my face to administer it???

I don't quite remember..... refresher course needed. Please and thanks

Ok, I’ll book you in to my next one

I want a certificate at the end.... to put with my CV....

" qualified face sitter ""

In that case you will have to take the long course. It’s multiple lessons

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By *its_and_TiramisuCouple 7 weeks ago

North Somerset


"Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in? 🤣

I need the help of you two, my favourite superheroes

I'm sure we could assist pickle.... 😜.....

First aid trained maybe the kiss of life would do it 🤣

Yes! I think we need to be prepared to try LOTS of things

Fuck your broken penis! My imagination is running wild.

What’s that type of CPR when you sit on my face to administer it???

I don't quite remember..... refresher course needed. Please and thanks

Ok, I’ll book you in to my next one

I want a certificate at the end.... to put with my CV....

" qualified face sitter "

In that case you will have to take the long course. It’s multiple lessons "

I'm more than OK with this!

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By *ild_oatsMan 7 weeks ago

the land of saints & sinners

You might need to call in a plumber to sort out your tubes and with a pipe bender get it back into shape…

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By *agic.MMan 7 weeks ago

Orpington

You can borrow mine till you fix it ✌

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By *aizyWoman 7 weeks ago

west midlands


"Where did you get it from? Did you keep the receipt? Maybe try taking it back and see if they'll exchange it.

this was the last Black one they had "

Thats always the way ain't it? Maybe it just needs charging, stick your phone charger in the end see if that helps.

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By *spenfallsMan 7 weeks ago

Northamptonshire

Are sure your pickle has not been the victim a cyber attack? That seems to be the reason most shit doesn't work lately... Maybe you need to pay some shady online site to bring your hardrive up again 🤔

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman 7 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).


"Have you tried running it thru the dishwasher ?

It hasn’t been wet before. I’m not sure?

Maybe a gentle hand washing might be more suitable. tried that. Stupid thing still won’t spurt. Think it’s clogged?

Sounds like it might be.

Maybe you need a professional ....

A professional spinster? 😣

I'm not sure. If I've got issues with domestic stuff, I tend to get some man in to fix it.

I suspect this may not be your best recourse.

I’m desperate. "

The good news is there's plenty of gentlemen on here would give you a hand with it.

Lmk how you get on.

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By *rHotNottsMan 7 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

That’s unfortunate OP. I’ve just tested mine and it’s working absolutely fine so it must be just you….

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By *arrenhertsmanMan 7 weeks ago

Hatfield

Can you claim off your insurance?

Mine came with a warranty…

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple 7 weeks ago

Leeds

Twat it with a hammer, usually works for me 🤷🏻‍♂️

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By *issilia AmoriWoman 7 weeks ago

St Albans/ North Welsh Borders

Stick it in a plug socket

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By *eliWoman 7 weeks ago

.

Visit a retirement home, that'll help.

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By *_elia DominaTV/TS 7 weeks ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

If at first you don't succeed. Hit it with a hammer!😈

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By *arrenhertsmanMan 7 weeks ago

Hatfield


"Stick it in a plug socket "

Shocking advice .. lol..

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By *ittleJohn5Man 7 weeks ago

Wickham Market

Kiss of life ?

A good resuscitation rhythm might restart it

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By *issilia AmoriWoman 7 weeks ago

St Albans/ North Welsh Borders


"Kiss of life ?

A good resuscitation rhythm might restart it "

Are you offering?

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By (user no longer on site) 7 weeks ago

Have you tried control, alt, delete ??

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By *ickshawedCouple 7 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

What colour is it, and have you noticed any unusual discharge?

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By *arrenhertsmanMan 7 weeks ago

Hatfield

Have you tried switching it on and off again ?

PICNIC ?

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By *avinaTVTV/TS 7 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Bang the side of him a few times, it done the trick on my old telly.

I’m not an old TV!! "

Bit late responding, but I'm just here to say, I AM an old TV, and being banged on the side a few times certainly does the trick for me. 😏

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By *ulie RobertsTV/TS 7 weeks ago

Southampton


"Bang the side of him a few times, it done the trick on my old telly.

I’m not an old TV!!

Bit late responding, but I'm just here to say, I AM an old TV, and being banged on the side a few times certainly does the trick for me. 😏 "

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"You might need to call in a plumber to sort out your tubes and with a pipe bender get it back into shape…"
you know one?

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"You can borrow mine till you fix it ✌"

Thank you so much. Not to be difficult but what colour is it?

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Where did you get it from? Did you keep the receipt? Maybe try taking it back and see if they'll exchange it.

this was the last Black one they had

Thats always the way ain't it? Maybe it just needs charging, stick your phone charger in the end see if that helps."

Anyways the way. Black is in high demand

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Are sure your pickle has not been the victim a cyber attack? That seems to be the reason most shit doesn't work lately... Maybe you need to pay some shady online site to bring your hardrive up again 🤔

"

The dark web maybe?

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried running it thru the dishwasher ?

It hasn’t been wet before. I’m not sure?

Maybe a gentle hand washing might be more suitable. tried that. Stupid thing still won’t spurt. Think it’s clogged?

Sounds like it might be.

Maybe you need a professional ....

A professional spinster? 😣

I'm not sure. If I've got issues with domestic stuff, I tend to get some man in to fix it.

I suspect this may not be your best recourse.

I’m desperate.

The good news is there's plenty of gentlemen on here would give you a hand with it.

Lmk how you get on. "

Status update:

Boys, my penis needs seeing to

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"That’s unfortunate OP. I’ve just tested mine and it’s working absolutely fine so it must be just you…."

Did you cum?

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Can you claim off your insurance?

Mine came with a warranty…"

Warranty? Fuck me you must’ve got that recently!!

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Twat it with a hammer, usually works for me 🤷🏻‍♂️"

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Stick it in a plug socket "

Do you have one I can use

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried control, alt, delete ??"
what does that actually do though?

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"What colour is it, and have you noticed any unusual discharge? "

It’s still black.

The problem is that there’s no discharge at all!!

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried switching it on and off again ?

PICNIC ?"

First thing I tried. Shall I organise a picnic ?

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Bang the side of him a few times, it done the trick on my old telly.

I’m not an old TV!!

Bit late responding, but I'm just here to say, I AM an old TV, and being banged on the side a few times certainly does the trick for me. 😏 "

About time you came and saw this

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Visit a retirement home, that'll help. "

I DO NOT LIKE OLDER WOMEN

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"If at first you don't succeed. Hit it with a hammer!😈"

Got one

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Kiss of life ?

A good resuscitation rhythm might restart it "

T&T is going to do their best

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By *avinaTVTV/TS 7 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Bang the side of him a few times, it done the trick on my old telly.

I’m not an old TV!!

Bit late responding, but I'm just here to say, I AM an old TV, and being banged on the side a few times certainly does the trick for me. 😏

About time you came and saw this "

😁

I find blowing on one gently can sometimes have wonderful results.

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By *asual TeaCouple 7 weeks ago

Manchester


"Have you tried running it thru the dishwasher ?

It hasn’t been wet before. I’m not sure?

Maybe a gentle hand washing might be more suitable. tried that. Stupid thing still won’t spurt. Think it’s clogged?"

Have you thought about cleaning inside with a pipe cleaner then throughly oiling it?

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Bang the side of him a few times, it done the trick on my old telly.

I’m not an old TV!!

Bit late responding, but I'm just here to say, I AM an old TV, and being banged on the side a few times certainly does the trick for me. 😏

About time you came and saw this

😁

I find blowing on one gently can sometimes have wonderful results. "

Ok I might not be able to do that all by myself

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried running it thru the dishwasher ?

It hasn’t been wet before. I’m not sure?

Maybe a gentle hand washing might be more suitable. tried that. Stupid thing still won’t spurt. Think it’s clogged?

Have you thought about cleaning inside with a pipe cleaner then throughly oiling it? "

putting something inside it scares me. But the oil might help

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By *avinaTVTV/TS 7 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Bang the side of him a few times, it done the trick on my old telly.

I’m not an old TV!!

Bit late responding, but I'm just here to say, I AM an old TV, and being banged on the side a few times certainly does the trick for me. 😏

About time you came and saw this

😁

I find blowing on one gently can sometimes have wonderful results.

Ok I might not be able to do that all by myself"

Yeah. You'd need a old TV. Some banging may be required though. 😇

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Bang the side of him a few times, it done the trick on my old telly.

I’m not an old TV!!

Bit late responding, but I'm just here to say, I AM an old TV, and being banged on the side a few times certainly does the trick for me. 😏

About time you came and saw this

😁

I find blowing on one gently can sometimes have wonderful results.

Ok I might not be able to do that all by myself

Yeah. You'd need a old TV. Some banging may be required though. 😇"

I’m willing

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By *atnip make me purrWoman 7 weeks ago

Reading

Lolly sticks and rubber bands?

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman 7 weeks ago

Markfield

Usually people suggest going to a club or a social, have you tried that?

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By *avinaTVTV/TS 7 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Bang the side of him a few times, it done the trick on my old telly.

I’m not an old TV!!

Bit late responding, but I'm just here to say, I AM an old TV, and being banged on the side a few times certainly does the trick for me. 😏

About time you came and saw this

😁

I find blowing on one gently can sometimes have wonderful results.

Ok I might not be able to do that all by myself

Yeah. You'd need a old TV. Some banging may be required though. 😇 I’m willing "

There you are. Problem solved.

Just ask Davina. 😌

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Lolly sticks and rubber bands? "

For?

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Usually people suggest going to a club or a social, have you tried that? "

I host socials babe

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By *ozapperMan 7 weeks ago

Lancashire

I think you have one of the older models that eventually give up the ghost. You can in fact order a replacement version from Temu but beware you will also have to wait for it to come!!!

Free return if it doesn't wank..... Oops that should have been work.... Or should it? Hmmmmm, maybe both

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Bang the side of him a few times, it done the trick on my old telly.

I’m not an old TV!!

Bit late responding, but I'm just here to say, I AM an old TV, and being banged on the side a few times certainly does the trick for me. 😏

About time you came and saw this

😁

I find blowing on one gently can sometimes have wonderful results.

Ok I might not be able to do that all by myself

Yeah. You'd need a old TV. Some banging may be required though. 😇 I’m willing

There you are. Problem solved.

Just ask Davina. 😌 "

yes 🫡

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By *illan-KillashMan 7 weeks ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants


" "

Maybe it's gone on strike for better working conditions and less hours.

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"

Maybe it's gone on strike for better working conditions and less hours. "

UP THE WORKERS

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By *illan-KillashMan 7 weeks ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants


"

Maybe it's gone on strike for better working conditions and less hours.

UP THE WORKERS"

Or not, as the case may be........

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By *atnip make me purrWoman 7 weeks ago

Reading


"Lolly sticks and rubber bands?

For?"

Splinting.

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By *iman2100Man 7 weeks ago

Glasgow

I am very sad to hear of your issue Mr Pickle. I suffered yesterday afternoon from the same affliction.

I was entered in a "How many times can you cum in an hour competition" at our local club. I can usually manage around 11 times so felt confident in winning.

It was however an embarrassing disaster. I really don't know what happened. I was ok at rehearsal in the morning.

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By *linyMan 7 weeks ago

Manchester/London

Take it to Canal Street in Manchester, there’s plenty of knowledgeable and experienced experts that can help you there

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By *atnip make me purrWoman 7 weeks ago

Reading

Best thread since the gay dog!

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By *carlettsWoman 7 weeks ago

Harpenden

On another thread Olive Oil might put some rigger in your digger?

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"

Maybe it's gone on strike for better working conditions and less hours.

UP THE WORKERS

Or not, as the case may be........ "

Getting them up isn’t the problem

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"I am very sad to hear of your issue Mr Pickle. I suffered yesterday afternoon from the same affliction.

I was entered in a "How many times can you cum in an hour competition" at our local club. I can usually manage around 11 times so felt confident in winning.

It was however an embarrassing disaster. I really don't know what happened. I was ok at rehearsal in the morning. "

Stage fright happens. You know that’s not the real you 💪🏾

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Take it to Canal Street in Manchester, there’s plenty of knowledgeable and experienced experts that can help you there "

If they make me cum I’ll be forever grateful

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Best thread since the gay dog! "
love a bit of doggy.

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"On another thread Olive Oil might put some rigger in your digger?"

I don’t need viagra though?

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By *heGateKeeperMan 7 weeks ago

Stratford

Try some ❄️

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Try some ❄️ "

GOD FORBID

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Try some ❄️ "

It’s him officer!!!

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By *annyDanielleMan 7 weeks ago

Street, Somerset


"Bang the side of him a few times, it done the trick on my old telly.

I’m not an old TV!! "

I am, i find a good bang works wonders.

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By *agic.MMan 7 weeks ago

Orpington


"You can borrow mine till you fix it ✌

Thank you so much. Not to be difficult but what colour is it?"

Coral mulberry with a shade of azure...and can turn slightly maroon after use

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By (user no longer on site) 7 weeks ago

Perhaps watering & sunlight.

-seems to spring things back to life..

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends

So I need banging. Maybe someone to take a look.

Ha. Never going to happen🎻🎻

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By *heGateKeeperMan 7 weeks ago

Stratford


"Try some ❄️

GOD FORBID"

Ok Dr Umar

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By *randMrsShebaCouple 7 weeks ago

Birmingham

Rest it. Rest yourself. Eat well etc....

After working mine is lazy but in the mornings or weekends it works well..

I'd say don't force it to work have sex or a wank when it's in the mood.

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Try some ❄️

GOD FORBID

Ok Dr Umar "

oh I thought you meant something else

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By *avinaTVTV/TS 7 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Best thread since the gay dog! "

There was a gay dog thread!? 😃

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By *avinaTVTV/TS 7 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Bang the side of him a few times, it done the trick on my old telly.

I’m not an old TV!!

I am, i find a good bang works wonders. "

👌

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By *olyGlamorousWoman 7 weeks ago

Altrincham

🍿 😂

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By *cribeMan 7 weeks ago

Bridgend

Have a look and the original instructions.

Maybe a reset to default button??

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By *ouble-SidedCouple 7 weeks ago

Voldsøy

I feel for you. My vagina is only working from home, at the moment.

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By *exxyyDy11Man 7 weeks ago

North West

Have you tried shouting at your penis to wake him up?

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By *atnip make me purrWoman 7 weeks ago

Reading


"Best thread since the gay dog!

There was a gay dog thread!? 😃"

Yes he fell in love with Lassie but Lassie is a boy.

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"You can borrow mine till you fix it ✌

Thank you so much. Not to be difficult but what colour is it?

Coral mulberry with a shade of azure...and can turn slightly maroon after use "

Hmmmm

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Perhaps watering & sunlight.

-seems to spring things back to life.."

I’ve been watering it every day!!

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Rest it. Rest yourself. Eat well etc....

After working mine is lazy but in the mornings or weekends it works well..

I'd say don't force it to work have sex or a wank when it's in the mood."

Oh bless. No. I put it to work when I want

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"🍿 😂 "

Someone enjoys watching me suffer. Ouch.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS 7 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Best thread since the gay dog!

There was a gay dog thread!? 😃

Yes he fell in love with Lassie but Lassie is a boy. "

Ohhhh. That's sweet. Love on all fours. 💕

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have a look and the original instructions.

Maybe a reset to default button??"

I heard the reset button is in my arse. So I’m scared.

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Best thread since the gay dog!

There was a gay dog thread!? 😃

Yes he fell in love with Lassie but Lassie is a boy.

Ohhhh. That's sweet. Love on all fours. 💕"

Woof

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"I feel for you. My vagina is only working from home, at the moment. "

My penis might work from your home

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried shouting at your penis to wake him up?"

Only gentle encouragement so far. He got close. I felt the precum. But couldn’t get the end result. That’s football though

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By *obilebottomMan 7 weeks ago

All over

Try an exorcist you never know. Some jealous person may have put a spell on on

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By *avinaTVTV/TS 7 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Best thread since the gay dog!

There was a gay dog thread!? 😃

Yes he fell in love with Lassie but Lassie is a boy.

Ohhhh. That's sweet. Love on all fours. 💕

Woof "

Yes, yes. You like love on all fours, too. 😌

😏

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Try an exorcist you never know. Some jealous person may have put a spell on on "

Actually that might work. I do need to get lots of things out of it

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Best thread since the gay dog!

There was a gay dog thread!? 😃

Yes he fell in love with Lassie but Lassie is a boy.

Ohhhh. That's sweet. Love on all fours. 💕

Woof

Yes, yes. You like love on all fours, too. 😌

😏"

I’m a simple soul 🧍🏾‍♂️

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By *avinaTVTV/TS 7 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Best thread since the gay dog!

There was a gay dog thread!? 😃

Yes he fell in love with Lassie but Lassie is a boy.

Ohhhh. That's sweet. Love on all fours. 💕

Woof

Yes, yes. You like love on all fours, too. 😌

😏

I’m a simple soul 🧍🏾‍♂️"

Awww. ❤

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By *ohn 66Man 7 weeks ago

South Birmingham

Years ago I saw an ointment for sale in a shop. A greetings card shop, rather than a chemist, but it still offered 100% guaranteed erections.

The instructions said:

a) apply a large amount of the creme to your todger, then

b) somehow persuade Kylie Minogue to rub it in well.

It worked every time for me

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Years ago I saw an ointment for sale in a shop. A greetings card shop, rather than a chemist, but it still offered 100% guaranteed erections.

The instructions said:

a) apply a large amount of the creme to your todger, then

b) somehow persuade Kylie Minogue to rub it in well.

It worked every time for me "

Getting erect is not the problem

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By *avinaTVTV/TS 7 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Years ago I saw an ointment for sale in a shop. A greetings card shop, rather than a chemist, but it still offered 100% guaranteed erections.

The instructions said:

a) apply a large amount of the creme to your todger, then

b) somehow persuade Kylie Minogue to rub it in well.

It worked every time for me "

Do they sell a Henry Cavill based version? Just curious. 😇

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By *bi HaiveMan 7 weeks ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

Have you tried one of those drain cleaning rod thingies you get off Temu?

Might be like a bath plughole and just clogged with hair? 🤷‍♂️

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By *oPantsJustVibesMan 7 weeks ago

Staines

Just needs some batteries mate. Stop using the cheap primary ones and buy some Duracells

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By *avinaTVTV/TS 7 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Just needs some batteries mate. Stop using the cheap primary ones and buy some Duracells"

I'm wondering where he puts the batteries? 😃

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By *exxyyDy11Man 7 weeks ago

North West

If your penis is not working. Just put it in some rice.

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By *ts the taking part thatMan 7 weeks ago

southampton

It's taking the piss.

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By *NormalMan01Man 7 weeks ago

Harrogate

Mines taken leave as well.

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By *midnight-Woman 7 weeks ago

...

Maybe it needs some R+R... A nice weekend spa break 🤩

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman 7 weeks ago

Markfield


"Usually people suggest going to a club or a social, have you tried that?

I host socials babe"

Is that what’s caused this dear? Have you got hostitis?

Try doing it again and see what happens this time.

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By *eliWoman 7 weeks ago

.


"Visit a retirement home, that'll help.

I DO NOT LIKE OLDER WOMEN"

Mhm. Okay. Something about protesting in caps which seems a bit much...

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By *ude LawMan 7 weeks ago

Harrogate


"Visit a retirement home, that'll help.

I DO NOT LIKE OLDER WOMEN

Mhm. Okay. Something about protesting in caps which seems a bit much..."

It's for the older women.

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Visit a retirement home, that'll help.

I DO NOT LIKE OLDER WOMEN

Mhm. Okay. Something about protesting in caps which seems a bit much...

It's for the older women."

So they can see it clearly

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By (user no longer on site) 7 weeks ago

We should set up a go fund me to get you a bionic one.

Lifetime guaranteed

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By *Silver-Man 7 weeks ago

North Wales

If your cock is no good, your pretty fucked really.

Unless you enjoy wearing a dress and taking it in the arse

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"If your cock is no good, your pretty fucked really.

Unless you enjoy wearing a dress and taking it in the arse"

I am pretty, yes

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By *avinaTVTV/TS 7 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"If your cock is no good, your pretty fucked really.

Unless you enjoy wearing a dress and taking it in the arse"

Something wrong with that? 🤨

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried one of those drain cleaning rod thingies you get off Temu?

Might be like a bath plughole and just clogged with hair? 🤷‍♂️"

Hair you say.

This is why I tend to prefer short haired babes.

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Just needs some batteries mate. Stop using the cheap primary ones and buy some Duracells"

On it. Best advice so far

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"If your penis is not working. Just put it in some rice."

Creamy coconut rice.

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"It's taking the piss."

Nothing new there with the pickle

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Mines taken leave as well. "

Solidarity x

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Maybe it needs some R+R... A nice weekend spa break 🤩"
auf English

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Usually people suggest going to a club or a social, have you tried that?

I host socials babe

Is that what’s caused this dear? Have you got hostitis?

Try doing it again and see what happens this time. "

I am doing it again in July

If you come I might finally cum.

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"We should set up a go fund me to get you a bionic one.

Lifetime guaranteed "

How will that help me cum though 😭😭😭

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"If your cock is no good, your pretty fucked really.

Unless you enjoy wearing a dress and taking it in the arse

Something wrong with that? 🤨"

He missed an apostrophe? I don’t know

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By *avinaTVTV/TS 7 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"If your cock is no good, your pretty fucked really.

Unless you enjoy wearing a dress and taking it in the arse

Something wrong with that? 🤨

He missed an apostrophe? I don’t know "

Yes! That's it! "You're", not "your". Thanks Mr.P. 😁

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"If your cock is no good, your pretty fucked really.

Unless you enjoy wearing a dress and taking it in the arse

Something wrong with that? 🤨

He missed an apostrophe? I don’t know

Yes! That's it! "You're", not "your". Thanks Mr.P. 😁"

You’re helping with my penis, least I could do

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By *herry.bombWoman 7 weeks ago

basingstoke

Yknow in marathons when one runner is struggling and can’t make it to the finish line, and another runner comes and carries them.. maybe you need that

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Yknow in marathons when one runner is struggling and can’t make it to the finish line, and another runner comes and carries them.. maybe you need that "

Yes. I need someone to stroke it for me.

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By *oxychicWoman 7 weeks ago

Nottinghamshire

I promise u , u don't need it , no problem i just have your tongue 😍😋😋😋

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"I promise u , u don't need it , no problem i just have your tongue 😍😋😋😋"
you can have my tongue anytime

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By *oxychicWoman 7 weeks ago

Nottinghamshire


"I promise u , u don't need it , no problem i just have your tongue 😍😋😋😋 you can have my tongue anytime "

Oh yea😇😇😇

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"I promise u , u don't need it , no problem i just have your tongue 😍😋😋😋 you can have my tongue anytime

Oh yea😇😇😇"

yes.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman 7 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

What's the sitrep today OP?

Working 👍

Or

Not working. 👎

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends

[Removed by poster at 21/05/25 15:25:50]

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"What's the sitrep today OP?

Working 👍

Or

Not working. 👎"

Haven’t masturbated today yet. But I’m feeling hopeful I’ll spurt a load before I fall asleep.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman 7 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).


"What's the sitrep today OP?

Working 👍

Or

Not working. 👎

Haven’t masturbated today yet. But I’m feeling hopeful I’ll spurt a load before I fall asleep.

"

I am rooting for you and your heavy load.

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"What's the sitrep today OP?

Working 👍

Or

Not working. 👎

Haven’t masturbated today yet. But I’m feeling hopeful I’ll spurt a load before I fall asleep.

I am rooting for you and your heavy load.

"

Send a selfie with you holding a sign cheering me on

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By *ice guy finishes lastMan 7 weeks ago

scunthorpe

Have you tried imagining your a pornstar fucking some dirty slut who looks like Brittany spears lol

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man 7 weeks ago

Ends


"Have you tried imagining your a pornstar fucking some dirty slut who looks like Brittany spears lol"
No because I’m trying to cum?

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By *ice guy finishes lastMan 7 weeks ago

scunthorpe

Christina Aguilara singing dirty

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By *each needs some creamWoman 7 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

Do you want me to have a little catch when your penis?

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