I'm never sure what is meant by passive aggressive.
I hear it quite often applied to openly hostile comments as though it just means disagreement without acute anger. To people upholding their boundaries as if protecting their own peace is aggression towards someone who wants to disturb it.
It's just another of those terms I see thrown more to try and shame someone for not agreeing to all requests and viewpoints 💜 |
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"Is it so bad?
Are you passive aggressive and think it’s not such a bad point of view? or perhaps your partner is and annoys you?
"
I think some people avoid confrontation for valid reasons doesn’t make them passive aggressive, but if someone has a massive direct angry rant to my face for a few minutes and I just respond ‘’whatevs’ or ‘OK, I’m bored of this conversation now’ to me that’s passive aggressive when you should respond with a bit more energy.
I think I can probably be passive aggressive sometimes because generally I’m very thick skinned & hard to wind up and don’t give the response that some people seem to require to thier non-passive aggressiveness ! |
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"I'm never sure what is meant by passive aggressive.
I hear it quite often applied to openly hostile comments as though it just means disagreement without acute anger. To people upholding their boundaries as if protecting their own peace is aggression towards someone who wants to disturb it.
It's just another of those terms I see thrown more to try and shame someone for not agreeing to all requests and viewpoints 💜"
A lot of pop psychology has seeped into our everyday lives Prey and what's labelled a certain way may or may not be it, with much accuracy.
It would typically be the indirect communication of displeasure, via behaviour, rather than direct communication. We, the observers, would be left to imfer what another is trying to imply. They might say something with some sarcasm, storm off, slam doors, say one thing, whilst meaning another, give us the silent treatment, etc |
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I would argue that passive aggression is worse than active aggression as, passive aggression tends to lead to destroying people's reputation and the people they associate withs reputation as well.
Active aggression is something that you see and are able to deal with however you deem appropriate.
Passive aggression is something you often never see coming until the damage is already done. This is often associated with bullying and alienation |
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Passive-aggressive behavior is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them. There's a disconnect between what a person who exhibits passive-aggressive behavior says and what they do.
It's one of those behaviours most of us have a bit of to varying degrees. In most instances it's pretty harmless, but when it becomes problematic in relationships it can become abusive emotionally and psychologically.
I don't think it's particularly healthy in a relationship if you are not being explicit about your feelings. Especially, when it's an important subject. I'd much rather it was done openly and honestly, I wouldn't get involved with someone who couldn't do that. There's all kinds of games and fuckery that comes with it and I haven't got the inclination to deal with that.
So for me, it's a no. There's better ways to communicate. |
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I view passive aggressive behaviour like a jealous friend.
I see this a lot in women (I'm a man so it could be just as common in men too but I don't notice it). I will be talking to a woman on a night out and one of her friends will but in even though the girl is interested. Or I've seen it where a group of women have been getting ready and one woman looks gorgeous and one of her friends go... Are you going to wear that? |
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"Is it so bad?
Are you passive aggressive and think it’s not such a bad point of view? or perhaps your partner is and annoys you?
I think some people avoid confrontation for valid reasons doesn’t make them passive aggressive, but if someone has a massive direct angry rant to my face for a few minutes and I just respond ‘’whatevs’ or ‘OK, I’m bored of this conversation now’ to me that’s passive aggressive when you should respond with a bit more energy.
I think I can probably be passive aggressive sometimes because generally I’m very thick skinned & hard to wind up and don’t give the response that some people seem to require to thier non-passive aggressiveness ! "
Like when they disagree and try and goad me into an argument, but my mental state at moment can't handle confrontation so I chose not to engage....Not sure if that was me being passive aggressive or me setting a boundary to save my own mental space |
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"Is it so bad?
Are you passive aggressive and think it’s not such a bad point of view? or perhaps your partner is and annoys you?
I think some people avoid confrontation for valid reasons doesn’t make them passive aggressive, but if someone has a massive direct angry rant to my face for a few minutes and I just respond ‘’whatevs’ or ‘OK, I’m bored of this conversation now’ to me that’s passive aggressive when you should respond with a bit more energy.
I think I can probably be passive aggressive sometimes because generally I’m very thick skinned & hard to wind up and don’t give the response that some people seem to require to thier non-passive aggressiveness !
Like when they disagree and try and goad me into an argument, but my mental state at moment can't handle confrontation so I chose not to engage....Not sure if that was me being passive aggressive or me setting a boundary to save my own mental space "
That's just called being emotionally mature |
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"Is it so bad?
Are you passive aggressive and think it’s not such a bad point of view? or perhaps your partner is and annoys you?
I think some people avoid confrontation for valid reasons doesn’t make them passive aggressive, but if someone has a massive direct angry rant to my face for a few minutes and I just respond ‘’whatevs’ or ‘OK, I’m bored of this conversation now’ to me that’s passive aggressive when you should respond with a bit more energy.
I think I can probably be passive aggressive sometimes because generally I’m very thick skinned & hard to wind up and don’t give the response that some people seem to require to thier non-passive aggressiveness !
Like when they disagree and try and goad me into an argument, but my mental state at moment can't handle confrontation so I chose not to engage....Not sure if that was me being passive aggressive or me setting a boundary to save my own mental space
That's just called being emotionally mature "
Thank you. I thought so too |
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"Is it so bad?
Are you passive aggressive and think it’s not such a bad point of view? or perhaps your partner is and annoys you?
I think some people avoid confrontation for valid reasons doesn’t make them passive aggressive, but if someone has a massive direct angry rant to my face for a few minutes and I just respond ‘’whatevs’ or ‘OK, I’m bored of this conversation now’ to me that’s passive aggressive when you should respond with a bit more energy.
I think I can probably be passive aggressive sometimes because generally I’m very thick skinned & hard to wind up and don’t give the response that some people seem to require to thier non-passive aggressiveness !
Like when they disagree and try and goad me into an argument, but my mental state at moment can't handle confrontation so I chose not to engage....Not sure if that was me being passive aggressive or me setting a boundary to save my own mental space
That's just called being emotionally mature
Thank you. I thought so too "
Honest, direct communication isn't passive aggressive. Someone trying to manipulate another into an argument, for example, could be viewed this way. |
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"Is it so bad?
Are you passive aggressive and think it’s not such a bad point of view? or perhaps your partner is and annoys you?
I think some people avoid confrontation for valid reasons doesn’t make them passive aggressive, but if someone has a massive direct angry rant to my face for a few minutes and I just respond ‘’whatevs’ or ‘OK, I’m bored of this conversation now’ to me that’s passive aggressive when you should respond with a bit more energy.
I think I can probably be passive aggressive sometimes because generally I’m very thick skinned & hard to wind up and don’t give the response that some people seem to require to thier non-passive aggressiveness !
Like when they disagree and try and goad me into an argument, but my mental state at moment can't handle confrontation so I chose not to engage....Not sure if that was me being passive aggressive or me setting a boundary to save my own mental space
That's just called being emotionally mature
Thank you. I thought so too
Honest, direct communication isn't passive aggressive. Someone trying to manipulate another into an argument, for example, could be viewed this way. "
Thank you. Especially after being told no to engagement |
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I agree with Hansoffate when he says'
'Passive-aggressive behavior is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them.'
This is the closest explanation here so far .... and to be fair won't be topped.
It is muttering or saying something so it is audible to another yet allows the speaker to deny they were being unpleasant....
e.g. 'Sex is the most beautiful thing in the world, but some people don't like it.'
Was said to me by someone I know well a week or so ago.
He meant me. He lacked the courage to ask me directly why I won't any longer have sex with him.
The second part of the sentence is inflected so as to stress it's meaning.
That's just one example. You must all have examples.
e.g. slamming the cupboard doors and dishes while washing up because someone has annoyed you is also passive aggression - it's directed at a person , you are letting them know you are angry but not telling them directly with who or why but you know they know but you think you can deny what you are doing.
e.g. Saying things like , 'yeah of course I want to help. I don't like sleeping do I .... or similar |
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"I don't really know what it means.
Is an example when someone pushes in front of you and you tut loudly and say "there's a queue here" to the person behind you ?
That's definitely a form of it.
"
No it's not. The tutter expressed themselves directly to the person. Perhaps not as polite as they could but they weren't passive about it. |
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"I don't really know what it means.
Is an example when someone pushes in front of you and you tut loudly and say "there's a queue here" to the person behind you ?
That's definitely a form of it.
No it's not. The tutter expressed themselves directly to the person. Perhaps not as polite as they could but they weren't passive about it. "
If challenged, they could say they were having a private conversation with the person behind them, though. |
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"Passive-aggressive behavior is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them. There's a disconnect between what a person who exhibits passive-aggressive behavior says and what they do.
It's one of those behaviours most of us have a bit of to varying degrees. In most instances it's pretty harmless, but when it becomes problematic in relationships it can become abusive emotionally and psychologically.
I don't think it's particularly healthy in a relationship if you are not being explicit about your feelings. Especially, when it's an important subject. I'd much rather it was done openly and honestly, I wouldn't get involved with someone who couldn't do that. There's all kinds of games and fuckery that comes with it and I haven't got the inclination to deal with that.
So for me, it's a no. There's better ways to communicate."
^^ excellent explanation. It’s not a great way to behave in a relationship, having been on the receiving end of it with different partners. |
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