FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ladies, how do you like to be "wooed"?
Ladies, how do you like to be "wooed"?
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This is something I've been asked before, probably speaks to my lacking in skills, but I've been told before by my ex that they need to be "wooed".
Clearly, as they're my ex, I was unsuccessful in the wooing, but in all honesty, I have no fucking idea what it is?
I thought flowers, the odd compliment, opening doors, etc, was the woo, is this a misconception???  |
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Personally I don't find anything materialistic a 'flex' and behaving like a respectful gentleman should already be a part of them. Im more interested in their character, their communication, if they are consistent and how they treat others.. that's how to gain and keep a woman's attention. |
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That is what I had hoped, I've always tried to be a gentleman as best as I know (accept that might be lacking).
Not all relationships have ended because the woman wasn't wooed, tbh it didn't with the ex in question, but it always stuck with me.
"I need to be wooed".
I would love to know what it means, tbh it kind of killed it for me, like, if everything I do isn't enough, then maybe it never will be...things went downhill from there lmfao |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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It’s fine the other way now I got a mouthful of abuse the weekend because I held a door open as I always do for a lady who yelled at me Jesus Christ I’m fucking capable of opening a door and we don’t live in the fucking dark ages of female oppression anymore and made a right scene about it  |
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"It’s fine the other way now I got a mouthful of abuse the weekend because I held a door open as I always do for a lady who yelled at me Jesus Christ I’m fucking capable of opening a door and we don’t live in the fucking dark ages of female oppression anymore and made a right scene about it "
That's very rude I wonder why she thought holding a door for her was oppression ? 🤔 |
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"It’s fine the other way now I got a mouthful of abuse the weekend because I held a door open as I always do for a lady who yelled at me Jesus Christ I’m fucking capable of opening a door and we don’t live in the fucking dark ages of female oppression anymore and made a right scene about it
That's very rude I wonder why she thought holding a door for her was oppression ? 🤔"
The patriarchy  |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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For me I like that thin line between confidence and arrogance ....guys who are confident in themselves don't feel the need to overly assert themselves , the ability to listen is a really really hard skill to master , I'm as guilty as anyone , it's not grand gestures , it's little nuances for me . |
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"It’s fine the other way now I got a mouthful of abuse the weekend because I held a door open as I always do for a lady who yelled at me Jesus Christ I’m fucking capable of opening a door and we don’t live in the fucking dark ages of female oppression anymore and made a right scene about it
That's very rude I wonder why she thought holding a door for her was oppression ? 🤔
The patriarchy "
That exists.
I hold doors for people of all types and the occasional dog. I enjoy saying "you're welcome" loudly and passive aggressively if they don't thank me too  |
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"That is what I had hoped, I've always tried to be a gentleman as best as I know (accept that might be lacking).
Not all relationships have ended because the woman wasn't wooed, tbh it didn't with the ex in question, but it always stuck with me.
"I need to be wooed".
I would love to know what it means, tbh it kind of killed it for me, like, if everything I do isn't enough, then maybe it never will be...things went downhill from there lmfao"
If someone asks for something but can't tell you how to give it you're on the back foot from the start. That puts them in a position to say you're not giving them what they need without putting the work of articulating how you can achieve that. It's lazy at best and controlling at worst.
Not all women want to be 'wooed' the same way though.
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"For me I like that thin line between confidence and arrogance ....guys who are confident in themselves don't feel the need to overly assert themselves , the ability to listen is a really really hard skill to master , I'm as guilty as anyone , it's not grand gestures , it's little nuances for me ."
I probably have been touched by the ADHD or autism fairy, making this thin like impossible to trapeze over |
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Hard to answer without a bunch of platitudes and generalisations like 'everyone is different' but that's the truth of it.
In the end I think the wooing is actually taking the time to discover what that person will appreciate. The gesture is the effort. |
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"For me I like that thin line between confidence and arrogance ....guys who are confident in themselves don't feel the need to overly assert themselves , the ability to listen is a really really hard skill to master , I'm as guilty as anyone , it's not grand gestures , it's little nuances for me ."
This is it for me too. I love a guy who is confident in himself, in his own abilities, and knows what he wants.
But arrogance that is not. Act like you are Mr Hot Stuff and I should bow to you because of how you look and you'll turn me off.
Woo'd to me is effort. So, plan that date, from start to finish, just let her know what time to turn up and where.
Tell her that you want to see her again, tell her you had a great time.
She wants to be your priority.
She wants to feel wanted. |
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By *hortieWoman 3 weeks ago
Northampton |
When I know someone, I like to be wined, Dined and 69'd. But swap the wine for ale and dining for cheese. (Ale'd, cheesed and 69'd doesn't quite roll off the tongue so well ..) I really am that basic and easy to please for what I'm after  |
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"For me I like that thin line between confidence and arrogance ....guys who are confident in themselves don't feel the need to overly assert themselves , the ability to listen is a really really hard skill to master , I'm as guilty as anyone , it's not grand gestures , it's little nuances for me .
This is it for me too. I love a guy who is confident in himself, in his own abilities, and knows what he wants.
But arrogance that is not. Act like you are Mr Hot Stuff and I should bow to you because of how you look and you'll turn me off.
Woo'd to me is effort. So, plan that date, from start to finish, just let her know what time to turn up and where.
Tell her that you want to see her again, tell her you had a great time.
She wants to be your priority.
She wants to feel wanted. "
Whilst I completely agree, and thank you for the response, in the context of our relationship at the time, what you list is why we didn't last! |
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"For me I like that thin line between confidence and arrogance ....guys who are confident in themselves don't feel the need to overly assert themselves , the ability to listen is a really really hard skill to master , I'm as guilty as anyone , it's not grand gestures , it's little nuances for me .
This is it for me too. I love a guy who is confident in himself, in his own abilities, and knows what he wants.
But arrogance that is not. Act like you are Mr Hot Stuff and I should bow to you because of how you look and you'll turn me off.
Woo'd to me is effort. So, plan that date, from start to finish, just let her know what time to turn up and where.
Tell her that you want to see her again, tell her you had a great time.
She wants to be your priority.
She wants to feel wanted.
Whilst I completely agree, and thank you for the response, in the context of our relationship at the time, what you list is why we didn't last!"
Which, I guess just goes to show that everyone is different and the meaning of "Woo'd" means different things to different people.
As someone else said, if she wasn't able to articulate with you what it was she actually wanted then the communication was more of an issue than the woo'ing. |
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"
Which, I guess just goes to show that everyone is different and the meaning of "Woo'd" means different things to different people.
As someone else said, if she wasn't able to articulate with you what it was she actually wanted then the communication was more of an issue than the woo'ing. "
Completely agree, no other woman has said that to me. Once the communication slows, the rest will follow sadly.
I remember buying something for valentines day, like a sexy outfit for some fun times, but I never gave it to her, hid it away because I didn't know if she want it, if it would come across negative.
It was sad.
But we learn right? One thing I learned from that relationship is communication is key to absolutely everything in a relationship.
I think she couldn't explain what she wanted, like I couldn't give her that gift |
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Easily. I’m easily wooed.
Quality time, surprises and humour all work.
I’m also easily impressed and appreciate acts of service. A guy once stopped me in Sainsburys car park and told me my tyre was as flat but changed it for me there and then. Everytime I think about it I can feel my face doing this 😍 |
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"Easily. I’m easily wooed.
Quality time, surprises and humour all work.
I’m also easily impressed and appreciate acts of service. A guy once stopped me in Sainsburys car park and told me my tyre was as flat but changed it for me there and then. Everytime I think about it I can feel my face doing this 😍 "
I've always felt like that, I appreciate the little things more than large acts.
The small things done without expectations of reciprocation is what does it for me.
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"Easily. I’m easily wooed.
Quality time, surprises and humour all work.
I’m also easily impressed and appreciate acts of service. A guy once stopped me in Sainsburys car park and told me my tyre was as flat but changed it for me there and then. Everytime I think about it I can feel my face doing this 😍
I've always felt like that, I appreciate the little things more than large acts.
The small things done without expectations of reciprocation is what does it for me.
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I appreciate the big things just as much as the small things. The smaller ones are more consistent. Grand gestures daily can be draining but the smaller ones are easily to apply to day to day life |
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"
I appreciate the big things just as much as the small things. The smaller ones are more consistent. Grand gestures daily can be draining but the smaller ones are easily to apply to day to day life "
Of course I appreciate the big things just the small things mean more to me, I think lol
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By *agic.MMan 3 weeks ago
Orpington |
From my experience the "wooing " comes from how you conduct yourself in society and your overall actions towards all people, or the purpose you established for yourself within your communities. The women I interact with are mostly "wooed" by my profession or passions or hobbies or intelect rather than any specific gestures. I personally detest the old school approach where men have to court women and "swipe them of their feet", and I feel it's mostly men that don't have much else to offer that resort to spending money on grand gestures. I will give the things (respect, care, consideration, kindness...) I expect in return and everything else is just a bonus...I will treat her as an equal and not as a price or something i need to conquer with gestures- that type of attitude (both from men and women) is corny as fuck to me... |
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"From my experience the "wooing " comes from how you conduct yourself in society and your overall actions towards all people, or the purpose you established for yourself within your communities. The women I interact with are mostly "wooed" by my profession or passions or hobbies or intelect rather than any specific gestures. I personally detest the old school approach where men have to court women and "swipe them of their feet", and I feel it's mostly men that don't have much else to offer that resort to spending money on grand gestures. I will give the things (respect, care, consideration, kindness...) I expect in return and everything else is just a bonus...I will treat her as an equal and not as a price or something i need to conquer with gestures- that type of attitude (both from men and women) is corny as fuck to me..."
This was mean, I think, then the wooing was required on top lmfao.
Left me lost tbh, killed the relationship |
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"It’s fine the other way now I got a mouthful of abuse the weekend because I held a door open as I always do for a lady who yelled at me Jesus Christ I’m fucking capable of opening a door and we don’t live in the fucking dark ages of female oppression anymore and made a right scene about it "
That's nasty and unnecessary. It's a UK thing, generally done by everyone, for any gender and reflects that you acknowledge them and show a little effort for them. 🥇 for your considerate nature! |
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"This is something I've been asked before, probably speaks to my lacking in skills, but I've been told before by my ex that they need to be "wooed".
Clearly, as they're my ex, I was unsuccessful in the wooing, but in all honesty, I have no fucking idea what it is?
I thought flowers, the odd compliment, opening doors, etc, was the woo, is this a misconception??? "
You're probably not lacking anything.
Would it be fair to say your ex was a bit of an attention seeker and drama queen.
If that's so, you have learnt a great lesson.
Give them a wide berth.
Find someone who is confident in their own skin and sees opening doors, please and thank you, offering up a seat etc as a kindness and overall good manners and not an insult to their fragile ego and damaged self esteem.
Us women eh, who needs us.
Liz |
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In real life, I enjoy little treats, flowers, dinner etc although I would also do similar back. I don't expect anything, it's lovely to receive as a surprise then.
In here, I am looking for something different. I don't want wooing, romance or hearts and flowers. I want a naughty sexual connection with mutual respect on both sides.
When someone says they want to wine and dine me it leaves me cold really. |
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