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Dealing with major health problems
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As we all get older and our bodies slowly start to rebel, many of us have had serious and major health issues that can and will put a hamper on sexy times.
If you have had any issues, how did you manage them? Did you carry on, take a hiatus, indefinite break? |
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By *vaRoseWoman 48 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
For me it depended on the type of illness.
Becoming type 1 diabetic in my 30’s meant learning how to adapt and manage my sugars during sex, but it had no affect on my libido or needs.
After sepsis I had a long hiatus due to the pain and other lifelong complications. However as I recovered, regained mobility and control of my pain the urge for sex and sexual intimacy returned with gusto.
On a similar note my husband is in renal failure and subsequently has a low libido, so his partnerships have transformed into platonic relationships.
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By *CExeCouple 48 weeks ago
Hong-Kong/Exeter |
Got hit with a Bipolar diagnosis a few years ago, then a Sarcoidosis diagnosis and have had multiple dvts since then. Something isn't right, and October last year I had to take a step back from my consultancy and I've not really worked since. More because the fatigue and anxiety meant I was letting people down than anything else.
The most difficult part is accepting that I have chronic illness and I'm not the super fit and healthy chap I once was. That and the blooming NHS taking 9 months for a neurological consultation. |
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You know many people still don’t believe this but honestly read up on it
I was listening to Chris evens radio show and this last came on talking about fasting (her book is called fasting like a woman or girl) from what I remember
The good thing is it works
Have your evening meal than nothing till the next day evening meal, so almost 24 hours
Get used to Thais and then so 2 days, then 3
Once your body hits the 40 hour mark it’s goes crazy into recovery mode, seriously try it.
It goes into healing mode and can fix a lot of issues |
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I manage a long term health condition. The number one thing I’ve had to really tune in to is listening to my body and being realistic with my expectations of myself. This can sometimes lead to changing or cancelling plans, which is frustrating and can make me anxious about being flaky or letting people down. Ultimately, though, if I’m open and honest with people then that’s all I can do. It will be a dealbreaker for some and not for others.
I have had periods where I’ve completely stepped back from actively meeting. Not always health related, sometimes just life lifeing hard. It’s no different, to my mind - listening to what you really need vs what you want.
Mrs TMN x |
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"Got hit with a Bipolar diagnosis a few years ago, then a Sarcoidosis diagnosis and have had multiple dvts since then. Something isn't right, and October last year I had to take a step back from my consultancy and I've not really worked since. More because the fatigue and anxiety meant I was letting people down than anything else.
The most difficult part is accepting that I have chronic illness and I'm not the super fit and healthy chap I once was. That and the blooming NHS taking 9 months for a neurological consultation."
How has that affected you in the realms of fab? |
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I am peri menopausal and that's majorly affected me. I haven't wanted to meet anyone for ages now due to all the symptoms. Plus I now have a very erratic cycle which would make planning meets v hard.
I'm fine about not meeting and luckily still have my other half anyway.i just enjoy the forums and taking to my friends here.
I'm not ruling it out for future, maybe when I feel a bit more like myself again. |
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"You know many people still don’t believe this but honestly read up on it
I was listening to Chris evens radio show and this last came on talking about fasting (her book is called fasting like a woman or girl) from what I remember
The good thing is it works
Have your evening meal than nothing till the next day evening meal, so almost 24 hours
Get used to Thais and then so 2 days, then 3
Once your body hits the 40 hour mark it’s goes crazy into recovery mode, seriously try it.
It goes into healing mode and can fix a lot of issues "
I would not be taking medical advice from someone who wrote a book about going without food.
Hopefully nobody with serious ongoing medical issues believes that fasting will cure them . |
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"You know many people still don’t believe this but honestly read up on it
I was listening to Chris evens radio show and this last came on talking about fasting (her book is called fasting like a woman or girl) from what I remember
The good thing is it works
Have your evening meal than nothing till the next day evening meal, so almost 24 hours
Get used to Thais and then so 2 days, then 3
Once your body hits the 40 hour mark it’s goes crazy into recovery mode, seriously try it.
It goes into healing mode and can fix a lot of issues
I would not be taking medical advice from someone who wrote a book about going without food.
Hopefully nobody with serious ongoing medical issues believes that fasting will cure them ."
Understandable
I think she was more than just a book writer, might have medial background though |
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"I am peri menopausal and that's majorly affected me. I haven't wanted to meet anyone for ages now due to all the symptoms. Plus I now have a very erratic cycle which would make planning meets v hard.
I'm fine about not meeting and luckily still have my other half anyway.i just enjoy the forums and taking to my friends here.
I'm not ruling it out for future, maybe when I feel a bit more like myself again. "
I am also the desire to want sex is now few and far between so I don't look very often. I used to be frustrated all the time when my libido was sky high now I kind of miss it, it's been a little better the past few weeks though which is good |
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"You know many people still don’t believe this but honestly read up on it
I was listening to Chris evens radio show and this last came on talking about fasting (her book is called fasting like a woman or girl) from what I remember
The good thing is it works
Have your evening meal than nothing till the next day evening meal, so almost 24 hours
Get used to Thais and then so 2 days, then 3
Once your body hits the 40 hour mark it’s goes crazy into recovery mode, seriously try it.
It goes into healing mode and can fix a lot of issues
I would not be taking medical advice from someone who wrote a book about going without food.
Hopefully nobody with serious ongoing medical issues believes that fasting will cure them .
Understandable
I think she was more than just a book writer, might have medial background though "
I can't do fasting as I have to eat with my medication |
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"You know many people still don’t believe this but honestly read up on it
I was listening to Chris evens radio show and this last came on talking about fasting (her book is called fasting like a woman or girl) from what I remember
The good thing is it works
Have your evening meal than nothing till the next day evening meal, so almost 24 hours
Get used to Thais and then so 2 days, then 3
Once your body hits the 40 hour mark it’s goes crazy into recovery mode, seriously try it.
It goes into healing mode and can fix a lot of issues
I would not be taking medical advice from someone who wrote a book about going without food.
Hopefully nobody with serious ongoing medical issues believes that fasting will cure them .
Understandable
I think she was more than just a book writer, might have medial background though "
She does have a medical background as a chiropractor I believe.
I know fasting has benefits but for someone with chronic pain due to musculoskeletal problems or hypothyroidism for instance fasting won't work. So crazy recovery mode isn't going to help |
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"All depends on the health condition. Listen to your body.
Your health is your wealth.
The best sex in the world is no good when you are poorly "
No it isn't but it's very important to maintain physical intimacy in the form of non sexual touch if you can. |
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My ex got diagnosed with ADHD and autism within the same 3-4 months,, everything changed 
Sex disappeared, and I never once held that against her, but it was sad how everything changed.
I sometimes wonder if the person I fell in love with was the mask, and once she was diagnosed the mask slipped and it was a different person.
I really tried to make it work, still hurts today  |
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By *otstuff77Woman 48 weeks ago
to close for comfort |
"You know many people still don’t believe this but honestly read up on it
I was listening to Chris evens radio show and this last came on talking about fasting (her book is called fasting like a woman or girl) from what I remember
The good thing is it works
Have your evening meal than nothing till the next day evening meal, so almost 24 hours
Get used to Thais and then so 2 days, then 3
Once your body hits the 40 hour mark it’s goes crazy into recovery mode, seriously try it.
It goes into healing mode and can fix a lot of issues "
Yes. It's true..I've done alot of research and done a couple of 48 hour fasts,but not for a long time.
There is a protocol to follow. I suggest anyone thinking of Trying it to research beforehand. But I'd definitely recommend it 😁 |
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"You know many people still don’t believe this but honestly read up on it
I was listening to Chris evens radio show and this last came on talking about fasting (her book is called fasting like a woman or girl) from what I remember
The good thing is it works
Have your evening meal than nothing till the next day evening meal, so almost 24 hours
Get used to Thais and then so 2 days, then 3
Once your body hits the 40 hour mark it’s goes crazy into recovery mode, seriously try it.
It goes into healing mode and can fix a lot of issues
Yes. It's true..I've done alot of research and done a couple of 48 hour fasts,but not for a long time.
There is a protocol to follow. I suggest anyone thinking of Trying it to research beforehand. But I'd definitely recommend it 😁"
Yeah 100%
The benefits doing little ones is good to, even if it’s just only eating once a day
Good just for the stomach reset, I feel amazing afterwards but don’t get me wrong was hard to do the first one, lots of water and keeping busy |
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"You know many people still don’t believe this but honestly read up on it
I was listening to Chris evens radio show and this last came on talking about fasting (her book is called fasting like a woman or girl) from what I remember
The good thing is it works
Have your evening meal than nothing till the next day evening meal, so almost 24 hours
Get used to Thais and then so 2 days, then 3
Once your body hits the 40 hour mark it’s goes crazy into recovery mode, seriously try it.
It goes into healing mode and can fix a lot of issues
Yes. It's true..I've done alot of research and done a couple of 48 hour fasts,but not for a long time.
There is a protocol to follow. I suggest anyone thinking of Trying it to research beforehand. But I'd definitely recommend it 😁"
I tend to fast most days from 8pm till 12pm the next day, I have genuinely felt better. And it hasn't impacted my performance in the gym so far. |
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This past few months, I don't feel well enough to do much beyond exist most days
I might feel good today, but not tomorrow
So I never make advance plans - that includes social as well as sexual
That's a bit of a killer for many
My libido is pretty much shot too
I can go for weeks without even considering sexual contact
Then when I do think 'yeah, today is a good day', it's easier just to have a wank
Looking for a 'meet today' whilst being unwilling to accom is kinda counter productive
So, if I do want fun, a club / sauna environment works much better for me than Fab (if the wank doesn't sort me out)
I'm not ready to leave though
There's some decent folks here
The Forums offer some moments of hilarity
Some of the public pics make for pleasant viewing and it's a few quid every few months to be here
It doesn't make sense to leave
So, in answer to how do I manage it, well, with a pinch of realism, a dash of honesty and an understanding both of self and of others
Chasing the lifestyle and the opportunities this site presents can become tiresome
Much easier to sit back and do it how it works for you at any given time |
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By *tormQueenWoman 48 weeks ago
All over the place |
"I am peri menopausal and that's majorly affected me. I haven't wanted to meet anyone for ages now due to all the symptoms. Plus I now have a very erratic cycle which would make planning meets v hard.
I'm fine about not meeting and luckily still have my other half anyway.i just enjoy the forums and taking to my friends here.
I'm not ruling it out for future, maybe when I feel a bit more like myself again. "
Perimenopause knocked me for six but I was lucky with my doctor and after some trial and error I feel so much better. It was an eventful journey and not without problems but please dont just accept it as inevitable
Feel free to reach out if you want to chat🥰 |
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"You know many people still don’t believe this but honestly read up on it
I was listening to Chris evens radio show and this last came on talking about fasting (her book is called fasting like a woman or girl) from what I remember
The good thing is it works
Have your evening meal than nothing till the next day evening meal, so almost 24 hours
Get used to Thais and then so 2 days, then 3
Once your body hits the 40 hour mark it’s goes crazy into recovery mode, seriously try it.
It goes into healing mode and can fix a lot of issues
I would not be taking medical advice from someone who wrote a book about going without food.
Hopefully nobody with serious ongoing medical issues believes that fasting will cure them ."
Have practiced 1-7 days full fasts. You do need to be strong physically & mentally but the benefits are pretty widely accepted now both mental and physical breakthroughs.
There’s a place for many types of alternative and complementary treatments, just like there’s a place for paracetamol, antibiotics, and other drugs. |
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"I am peri menopausal and that's majorly affected me. I haven't wanted to meet anyone for ages now due to all the symptoms. Plus I now have a very erratic cycle which would make planning meets v hard.
I'm fine about not meeting and luckily still have my other half anyway.i just enjoy the forums and taking to my friends here.
I'm not ruling it out for future, maybe when I feel a bit more like myself again.
Perimenopause knocked me for six but I was lucky with my doctor and after some trial and error I feel so much better. It was an eventful journey and not without problems but please dont just accept it as inevitable
Feel free to reach out if you want to chat🥰"
Aww thank you so much 💓 |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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We carry on best we can, but we let any prospective meet we have know that a flare up can happen at anytime out of nowhere and will mean it need to be postponed even last minute. |
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Very much health conditions can bring things into perspective for me. What are my priorities? Real life ones.
If that means that fab has to slow down then it's not even a consideration for me.
The right people will hopefully understand and make their own adjustments to support
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I had a significant back injury, which from the point of injury, through deterioration to the point of being unable to walk without assistance, then into diagnosis, surgery and recovery, all took a good two years.
For some of that period I was in significant pain and for much of it was so debilitated I physically couldn't have been intimate even if I'd felt anywhere remotely close to wanting to.
So I took a break for most of those two years, popping in from time to time to keep in touch with friends and the forum.
But that pretty much reflects how I feel about swinging anyway - when I'm not feeling it, I step back. |
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Had a cancer scare a few months ago, thankfully only a scare, but knocked me sideways until I knew one way or the other. Until then thought I could cope with most things but this hit me hard. Has refocussed me somewhat. |
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By *WB85Man 48 weeks ago
Staffordshire |
Mental health is my battle occasionally.....I have spells where fab really doesnt help me, so I log out until I want to return.
You have to be honest with yourself sometimes, and to know when to take a break. |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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I tried carrying on with a Sciatica flare up one time. Never again. I’m sure he thought I was a sexbot the way I moved.
Nowadays I listen to my body. It is currently going through perimenopause and saying “stay away from cock” which I am.
I feel as sexy as a Cauliflower. |
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I took a long break. I haven't entertained anyone new for years, because it's exhausting and they wouldn't want what I can now offer.
I'm happy with who I have at the moment.
If I start to feel better I might consider looking for someone new. |
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"It saddens me a little that it for some, life would be lacking without the prospect of fab adventures, even in the face of health issues.
"
Why does that sadden you? Fab is many different things to different people. Somewhere to find a quick fuck; a gateway to meeting friends and partners; a place to live authentically and freely.
Mrs TMN |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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I've taken a break since around April on here wrt to meets, socials etc.
Dealing with cancer growth & chemo.
I've met a few guys I've met socially for a coffee/lunch but thats it. Nobody new. No fun.
I will see how I go after I stop chemo in nov & whem my hair starts to grow back. I dont feel like myself at the mo 😢 |
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I don't have any major health issues but I haven't been meeting through fab for more than 5 years for a number of reasons including health related ones.
Having sex or sexy time is way down my list of priorities |
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"I am peri menopausal and that's majorly affected me. I haven't wanted to meet anyone for ages now due to all the symptoms. Plus I now have a very erratic cycle which would make planning meets v hard.
I'm fine about not meeting and luckily still have my other half anyway.i just enjoy the forums and taking to my friends here.
I'm not ruling it out for future, maybe when I feel a bit more like myself again. "
1 million women retire early due to menopause. |
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I was bedbound with a poor prognosis (as in keeping my foot/walking normally again) at the beginning of the year, for 3 months.
Obviously meeting went riiiight to the back burner, but Fab was sort of a lifeline. I chatted to so many people. I was told jokes, stories, logging on made me smile. And sex was the last thing on my mind. And there were marvellous people who kept me distracted and made me smile.  |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"Got hit with a Bipolar diagnosis a few years ago, then a Sarcoidosis diagnosis and have had multiple dvts since then. Something isn't right, and October last year I had to take a step back from my consultancy and I've not really worked since. More because the fatigue and anxiety meant I was letting people down than anything else.
The most difficult part is accepting that I have chronic illness and I'm not the super fit and healthy chap I once was. That and the blooming NHS taking 9 months for a neurological consultation."
I have neurosarcoidosis, have infusions every 8 weeks, can't fuat nhs one bit. As you know, getting diagnosed was a big problem.
If you want a chat, let me know 😎 |
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Ive taken quite a long break from Fab over the last 12-18 months due to my health and only just coming back. Im still in the thick of things but it's nice to just interact and I'm enjoying being a bit more social. If I need a break I take one, if we have to cancel plans, we do. Its one of those things we are managing as we go.
Tink |
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"It saddens me a little that it for some, life would be lacking without the prospect of fab adventures, even in the face of health issues.
"
Nothing was mentioned about Fab. Being too unwell to have sex, or intimacy, isn't anything for you to feel sad about.
I don't really get what you're saying, to be honest.
You think people are to be pitied because they have to take a break from sex, or that you think we're prioritising our sex lives over our health? |
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Snapped a big nerve following a shoulder dislocation, not illness but injury in this case. I took 7 months out due to not being able to move my arm, shoulder or hand and of course the pain.
It's moving now though and a lot less painful, still not fully healed yet. Hopefully soon. |
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I've got various chronic health issues, most recent diagnosis being ME/CFS. Along with being peri-menopausal it's not been much fun the first half of the year.
I just have make the most of it with I feel up to it. I did take a break from even socialising for 6 months though. Just wasn't interested at all, in anyone or anything. |
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"It saddens me a little that it for some, life would be lacking without the prospect of fab adventures, even in the face of health issues.
Nothing was mentioned about Fab. Being too unwell to have sex, or intimacy, isn't anything for you to feel sad about.
I don't really get what you're saying, to be honest.
You think people are to be pitied because they have to take a break from sex, or that you think we're prioritising our sex lives over our health?"
I think we're at crossed wires |
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