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Social meet first is better?
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Just wondering how many people do social meets only for a first meet on here and if you think this a good idea for me?
I’ve had about 3 social coffee meets from here, all gone well, but majority of guys only want to meet at my place in secret as they seem to be paranoid about being seen with a trans in public, which is strange as I’ve never had any issues with being trans from the public. Only time my gender is an issue is with insecure men and dating. I’m thinking of doing social meets only first to filter out these types of men and cutting straight to the ones worth my time.
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It depends what you are looking for? You need to do what works for you and what you want. I personally would want a social first and see how we get on but everyone has their preferences based on what they are looking for |
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It sounds like it would be worth it, as you have said we@dles or the ones who aren't worth your time.
I generally prefer to do a social/ coffee as well too make sure we get on in person before anything else. |
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I have always done socials but its personal prefrence i think. I do it not to just feel more safe but i just think its nice getting to know someone first to see if there is some sort of connection |
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We insist on a social meet first, unless we’re at a club or meeting at a club for the first time.
We’ve walked away from a few hot profiles as they wouldn’t social first.
OP, we’d happily be seen in public with you. |
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The people we want to meet generally don't want to natter first and neither do we, so socials can jar with how we swing. Our meets are more like escapism, with roles people play based on chatting about fantasies beforehand and often not really grounded in how we socialise generally.
With that said, they can be a useful safety mechanism and many people feel safer for having done them first. So if they're requested then I'll try to incorporate them into a scene so they flow better. |
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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
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"Always a social for a first meet. Things can progress further from there if there’s chemistry and also filters out time wasters, fake couples etc "
I agree … if the chemistry is there … the brakes are off |
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Ive had some really bad socials so I'm glad i have had them and it tends to be the ones where its moved quickly that are bad.
Ive also had some great ones that have led to more from it I think the more you talk to someone the less likely it is that it will go bad.
Do what feels right to you and if they don't want to meet you in a public place are they really worth meeting x |
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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
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I don't. I talk to guys for ages before meeting them and I'm always 95% sure I want more. It's a chat/drink and more in the same night.
I used to meet socially first but I found I never ended up meeting them again. I lost interest!
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99% of time a social first for me, to check there's chemistry and mutual desire in person. Also to avoid time wasters.
There's always exception to rules though, but without a social there needs to be a lot of conversation beforehand
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I’ve only had a couple of socials. Both ended up with us being caught in the toilets, one by and old man waiting to use the loo (the confused look on his Dave as we both walked out was priceless) and one by the manager of the bar who walked us out which was a little embarrassing… |
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Always a social for us first, either if we are playing solo or together.
I love the build up and flirting before going if for fun, L enjoys that but also the safety aspect if she’s playing solo.
I definitely need some sort of connection before I have fun, I know others don’t, they just want to get down to it but that’s not a turn on for me. |
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Social first ALWAYS absolutely 100% .
Far too many liars and oddballs out there.
Plus if they turn up to a social and haven't made any effort then what are they going to be like for a play meet?
Some random turns up stinking and scruffy acting like a serial killer and they expect sex!! No no no.
A drink and a chat filter out the oddballs and the cheats. |
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Do what's best for you.
Personally for safety I think you're best with men who are comfortable being seen in public with someone trans. I would say that says something about their nature. Not only is it an indication they'll be completely comfortable with you in the bedroom, it also suggests they will treat you with care and not harbour darker hang ups around trans people.
I think having a social means you can judge chemistry better and if you actually want to be with someone before your in too deep. At the end of the day you want to work out any red flags first before you're trapped in a room with them.
However there's that thing that if they're hot and you get green flags socially you don't want to waste an opportunity. Being mainly club swingers we don't many meets. Normally if we arranged a meet we also arrange an opportunity to play. For example maybe book a hotel around the corner for example. Then we can have a social meet, no pressure. But if everything is going great we can then mention we have a room next door if they'd like to come back for a coffee. If things don't then that's OK too. It removes the pressure to play and gives the opportunity to play with the cards in your hands. And of course you can hedge your bets and maybe only set up this plan if you think there's a good likelihood you'll want to play with them. And of course you can be open with your intent. Say you want to play same day but only after a social somewhere first.
As to where to play that's up to you. Personally we prefer neutral ground on first play, till we're comfortable with each other. But obviously if it's something like a hotel that adds cost. But if your specifically arranging to play you can go half's on a hotel although adds pressure of expectation because they've paid half for the venue. So not something it'd advise on first meet. For a first hotel meet maybe arrange a social in the hotel bar/cage first. Then if all is good go to reception book a room and go half. |
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A social is always a great way to break the ice and build some trust and attraction.
Anything physical is always so much more enjoyable with some chemistry.
From safety point of view especially for ladies I think it’s important. That may sounds boring or sexist but unfortunately it’s reality. |
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By *orba69Man 15 weeks ago
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I did meet a lady off here a few years ago, we exchanged messages on fab for a while, then phone numbers & then 1 night I arranged 2 pick her up the following morning & come back here 4 fun !! She was nothing like her pics, her personality scared me shittless… I’ve made some mistakes in life but this woman is head & shoulders above anything. |
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Each to their own and all that, but for me, a social is an absolute must!
And maybe more than 1 is needed to properly get the right vibe of the other person.
Also in terms of safety to the ladies, you can't be too careful nowadays. |
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When I am meeting it will only ever be with a social.
It's written on my profile that I insist on a social but over the years it's funny how some don't understand that.
I've been told a few times that at my age I can't really afford to be fussy so socials are a waste of time. |
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I'd only meet socially first time.
It's madness to invite a random stranger you've never met, to your home. Well in my opinion.
When single, if we met a few times I'd invite them, not before hand.
If they refuse a social, just don't meet them. |
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Always a social 1st, sometimes that chemistry/attraction just doesn't translate from online to in person, I wouldn't ever have someone in my personal space anyway but safety 1st.
If they don't want to meet for a coffee they aren't worth your time.
Mrs |
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By *eliWoman 15 weeks ago
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It sounds like it could be a good idea for you so go for it. If they don’t want to have one, you're not compatible.
There have been a couple of times where I've had sex after the first time meeting someone socially but the majority of the time it's only a social. Maybe with a lot of kissing. I do talk a fair amount beforehand (weeks, months, years) and it works for me. |
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