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No, you're alright.
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
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I've read a fair few threads/posts over the years about people being stood up. Ghosted. Blocked when they thought things were going well. Flirted with and then nothing. Various other examples but you get the idea.
And I thought I'd do a slight twist on the motif.
If someone is no longer interested in you, in an ideal world, how would you like to find out? |
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In an adult way so a conversation about it.
A chat got you connected so it’s just about being respectful.
It’s also knowing too - when nothing is said, it kind of feels open still, so you wonder.
K |
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By *WANDTGCouple 4 weeks ago
Borough of Greenwich |
A few have finished in me getting screamed at , verbally abusing me (male half) . But I stayed silent ( winds them up even more !) until they walk out the door, one sent a silly WhatsApp message about a week later, I blocked them. |
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Blocked or ghosted is fine by me on fab. It tells me all I need to know.
Off fab unless I'd actually been on a date with someone the same would apply.
Actions in many cases speak as loudly as words |
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"A block, though arguably brutal, would be preferred. It's unequivocal.
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Wouldn't that leave you wondering what happened? I'd probably overthink it for a little bit if that happened. "
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I totally agree: I would be nonplussed and overthink it for a while. There's very little to ruminate over from a block, it lacks any payload of information to process. As opposed engaging in a ping-pong sequence of messages of "but why?", "what happened?", "oh that?!, that's not that I meant", "I was joking - I love pumpkin spiced lattes" etc. |
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In an ideal world if id been speaking to someone for a while i would like a little line to just say sorry im not feeling it anymore or at all.
If we had hardly spoken a block/ignore is fine.
In real life the same i guess.
But if im being totally honest im an overthinker so i would wonder what the reasoning was for a short period.
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"In an ideal world if id been speaking to someone for a while i would like a little line to just say sorry im not feeling it anymore or at all.
If we had hardly spoken a block/ignore is fine.
In real life the same i guess.
But if im being totally honest im an overthinker so i would wonder what the reasoning was for a short period.
"
Exactly the same. If you've been chatting with someone a while or you've met them, a conversation or a message just being honest is appreciated. We are all adults.
I tend to overthink and when someone randomly blocks me or ghosts me it sends my brain haywire with overthinking what did I do? What's wrong with me? Etc. Where it could just be that their life circumstances have changed and it's nothing to do with me, for example. |
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Fires and sparks of lust dissipate, it's part of life, especially on FAB.
In an ideal world we should all be robust enough to acknowledge that and take a respectful rejection.
If it happens to me, I'd like someone to tell me in a honest and respectful way... how that person then handles themselves after probably tells you more about their character than any sexy chat. |
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By *eauNaturelMan 4 weeks ago
Mortonhampstead for a few days |
I'm a believer in 'actions speak louder than words' so whilst I'd left feeling bewildered if I was ghosted, it sends a very clear message and makes it very easy for me accept that all communication and interactions have finish - no grey areas. |
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"Blocked or ghosted is fine by me on fab. It tells me all I need to know.
Off fab unless I'd actually been on a date with someone the same would apply.
Actions in many cases speak as loudly as words"
I would add to this that as a younger woman casual flirting was a common and enjoyable pastime. You'd often never see the person again but that was probably because nobody carried a device in their pocket that made you available 24 hours a day. I think social interactions and expectations have changed with the advent of mobile phones and the internet |
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It doesn’t bother me to be ignored or blocked to be honest. Tells me all I need to know. I’ve never really given reasons so I’m not bothered about getting them. If it was someone I’d been seeing for a few years then I’d hope for more than a block. |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
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"In an adult way so a conversation about it.
A chat got you connected so it’s just about being respectful.
It’s also knowing too - when nothing is said, it kind of feels open still, so you wonder.
K"
Does it feel open still? I think people can get a feel if it's closed even if nothing is said. Sometimes etc.
A chat can be respectful, depends on your dynamic I think. How close you are.
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"It doesn’t bother me to be ignored or blocked to be honest. Tells me all I need to know. I’ve never really given reasons so I’m not bothered about getting them. If it was someone I’d been seeing for a few years then I’d hope for more than a block. "
Ghosting while being in a relationship is cruel. |
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"If someone is no longer interested in you, in an ideal world, how would you like to find out? "
Not ideal, but with my first girlfriend I found out when she went on holiday with the fiancé of another friend.
On Fab, again not ideal, when they started sending cross text messages or DM's but blocking me as soon as they'd been sent, then opening again to send a subsequent one.
Preferred way is that we just draw apart, might still message occasionally, but we have moved on. |
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I don't think there's an ideal way for everyone.
I've had people at the end of socials say they're not attracted to me. I've said that to others in messages afterwards. I'm okay with that if we've been messaging for a bit.
I'm also okay with people deleting me or blocking me with no explanation. I might wonder what happened but also I can't do anything else about it. |
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I’d honestly rather they tell me “on reflection Cherry, you’re the ugliest woman I’ve ever clapped eyes on, best of luck with it all” than when they disappear for 3-5 business months and pop back up again like nothings happened when their first choice loses interest 😂 |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
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"A few have finished in me getting screamed at , verbally abusing me (male half) . But I stayed silent ( winds them up even more !) until they walk out the door, one sent a silly WhatsApp message about a week later, I blocked them. "
Oh dear. Yeah, staying silent sounds like the best approach in that case. Leave them to it. |
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I'd like them to be open an honest about it if they're not interested and hopefully explain their reasons why. I think the latter part is always tough as people aren't always willing to provide that information freely, and asking why almost feels a bit entitled if they didn't want to say. |
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By *WB85Man 4 weeks ago
Staffordshire |
I'm old school....I tell people honestly without being a dick.
But I see why it doesn't happen the way. My wife gets horrendous insults when she tries to be polite and tell people its a no. |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
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"A block, though arguably brutal, would be preferred. It's unequivocal.
·
Wouldn't that leave you wondering what happened? I'd probably overthink it for a little bit if that happened.
•
I totally agree: I would be nonplussed and overthink it for a while. There's very little to ruminate over from a block, it lacks any payload of information to process. As opposed engaging in a ping-pong sequence of messages of "but why?", "what happened?", "oh that?!, that's not that I meant", "I was joking - I love pumpkin spiced lattes" etc."
I was thinking more potentially sexual/romantic rather than strictly platonic but I get the general gist. A block can leave a lot to overthink. A message than a block? A bit less.
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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago
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I've had a fair few rejections in life but, the ones I appreciated most are the ones who were forthright and honest. No sneaking, no ghosting, just.. "It's not going to work im sorry."
"thanks, but no" things like that. An instant block does irk me, as it instantly makes me think they have ideas above their station, though. |
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I just work of if the woman in question says something along the lines of... what you up to at the weekend... fancy going here?
Or if I say the same and does not get any feedback after a realistic time frame. of a working week... just leave it life is too busy or the thrill is gone..
it's no big deal for me on a personal level, appreciate we all have our differing views though. |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
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"In an ideal world if id been speaking to someone for a while i would like a little line to just say sorry im not feeling it anymore or at all.
If we had hardly spoken a block/ignore is fine.
In real life the same i guess.
But if im being totally honest im an overthinker so i would wonder what the reasoning was for a short period.
"
It's great you're being totally honest. 🩷 I can overthink as well.
Yeah, it's situational. If I had been talking for a while, plans etc and somebody blocked me I'd overthink it. A little message? Not really. |
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"Just tell me. Plain and simple."
Exactly this. Be upfront and honest, otherwise you're just wasting people's time.
Being able to accept rejection is a good personality trait to learn and develop. |
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By *eli OP Woman 4 weeks ago
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"Exactly the same. If you've been chatting with someone a while or you've met them, a conversation or a message just being honest is appreciated. We are all adults.
I tend to overthink and when someone randomly blocks me or ghosts me it sends my brain haywire with overthinking what did I do? What's wrong with me? Etc. Where it could just be that their life circumstances have changed and it's nothing to do with me, for example."
We are all adults but maturity levels vary. 
It might be to do with you though (a general you). I've met someone before, their very brief stint in my vagina and behaviour after meant I didn't want to again... one message became absolute bollocks. Wish I'd just blocked.
You can't predict how someone responds though so maybe respectfully sending a message and then blocking is the way forward. Musing out loud here. |
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A polite, we are not going to be having sex with each other again but would like to remain friends.
Is usually what happens to me.
Sometimes we remain friends,sometimes we drift apart and dont.
Sometimes we still have sex 🤭 |
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In the fab world no one owes me anything up until we arrange something. If someone stops replying or ghosts me I'm good at taking a hint 😉
If we arrange something a little text just letting me know is fine. |
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"A block, though arguably brutal, would be preferred. It's unequivocal.
·
Wouldn't that leave you wondering what happened? I'd probably overthink it for a little bit if that happened.
•
I totally agree: I would be nonplussed and overthink it for a while. There's very little to ruminate over from a block, it lacks any payload of information to process. As opposed engaging in a ping-pong sequence of messages of "but why?", "what happened?", "oh that?!, that's not that I meant", "I was joking - I love pumpkin spiced lattes" etc.
·
I was thinking more potentially sexual/romantic rather than strictly platonic but I get the general gist. A block can leave a lot to overthink. A message than a block? A bit less."
•
Having read the other responses on here I think my response was more one-dimensional (apologies), focussing on two people messaging for a significant period and nothing more.
However, if it's someone you've met and formed a bond then a perfunctory block would be a tad gutless. An offering of a simple explanation would be the sensible and gracious thing at the very least... |
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"I've read a fair few threads/posts over the years about people being stood up. Ghosted. Blocked when they thought things were going well. Flirted with and then nothing. Various other examples but you get the idea.
And I thought I'd do a slight twist on the motif.
If someone is no longer interested in you, in an ideal world, how would you like to find out? "
Just to communicate it, that's it. But to be honest if someone stops sending messages I dont chase in almost every instance, I move on. |
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