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Unread mail
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By (user no longer on site) OP 3 weeks ago
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Does anyone get as frustrated as me that mail doesn’t get read ? I totally understand that the amazing ladies on this site get smashed with messages daily, BUT, I have 20 messages I have sent out and none of them have been read. Even when a lovely lady had literally just been on site or is still on, and the message still doesn’t get read.
As annoying and hard it is for ladies to read all the messages they get, it’s just as frustrating as the person putting a little bit of effort into sending someone a message and it doesn’t even get read
Sorry - Monday morning frustration now passed on 🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 3 weeks ago
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"We don’t know how boring the content of your messages is tho from their post 😂 "
The problem is, even if it was boring, it’s saying it’s not even been opened to be read to find out how boring it is. 🤪🤪 |
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"We don’t know how boring the content of your messages is tho from their post 😂
The problem is, even if it was boring, it’s saying it’s not even been opened to be read to find out how boring it is. 🤪🤪"
You can read the first line without opening it so that gives a pretty good indication. I don’t bother opening stuff like how are you/ how’s your day 😴 |
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By *eliWoman 3 weeks ago
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Twenty messages? Do you think you match what all twenty women are looking for?
As lovely as a message can be, as much you have might put in a little effort - they might have clicked on your profile and decided not for them and to leave your messages alone. Not even open them.
I do get that it must be a bit disheartening but I really wouldn't be checking when people are online/not opening messages etc. That way madness lies. Send a message. If they reply, great, if they don't, fuck it. |
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The other thing to keep in mind is a lot of women check your profile before they open your message.
Your profile is very clear in what you are looking for and thats a good thing but if you are not for them a lot of women will then not bother to read your message as they already know they are not interested. |
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By *WB85Man 3 weeks ago
Staffordshire |
Is it a way of testing your patience? Its an interesting tactic.
Do they read and then mark as unread?
Do they read the message via email notifications and know if it needs a reply?
Do they stealth mode view your profile and feel you arent compatible?
So many questions, but it is what it is. I'm passed letting it bother me, as in time...the right ladies will reply.
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"Does anyone get as frustrated as me that mail doesn’t get read ? I totally understand that the amazing ladies on this site get smashed with messages daily, BUT, I have 20 messages I have sent out and none of them have been read. Even when a lovely lady had literally just been on site or is still on, and the message still doesn’t get read.
As annoying and hard it is for ladies to read all the messages they get, it’s just as frustrating as the person putting a little bit of effort into sending someone a message and it doesn’t even get read
Sorry - Monday morning frustration now passed on 🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😩😩😩😩😩😩😩"
It doesn't bother me,as I don't send much private usually other than to people o know, anyway its only what I d o,when I get lads texting me filth,and decide to leave them hanging before I block them,depends how disgusting they are whether they hang or dangle |
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"Does anyone get as frustrated as me that mail doesn’t get read ? I totally understand that the amazing ladies on this site get smashed with messages daily, BUT, I have 20 messages I have sent out and none of them have been read. Even when a lovely lady had literally just been on site or is still on, and the message still doesn’t get read.
As annoying and hard it is for ladies to read all the messages they get, it’s just as frustrating as the person putting a little bit of effort into sending someone a message and it doesn’t even get read
Sorry - Monday morning frustration now passed on 🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😩😩😩😩😩😩😩"
They can read your message and then mark it as unread. When you send a message it's best to forget about it and not check if it's been read, if someone wants to reply they will do. |
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I'd assume they're not interested...
They've probably read your profile first & are here for something else or aren't free in the daytime...
I tend to leave messages unread/deleted if they don't interested me |
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The girls I've know on here over the years get 100's of messages a day & most texts are from blank boring profiles. We outnumber the girls heavily so its understandable most uninterested messages are left unread... |
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By *vaRoseWoman 3 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
You can read the message in email without opening it on site
You can read the first line without opening it
You can check the profile to see if you’re even interested in opening it
You can be online on fab and not checking your inbox
It’s likely a combination of all of the above plus other factors.
Send your message and then delete it from your sent box so you don’t sit worrying |
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I always look at the person's profile before I decide if I'm going to open a message, if I can see from their profile that they have ignored what I'm looking or they're not what I'm looking for then I just delete the message without opening it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 3 weeks ago
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How do you start a message without being polite and say hi how are you ?
Seems you cannot do right from wrong, ladies don’t want a dick pic as a first message but they also don’t want a Hi how are you message either 🤷🏻♂️ |
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Hello OP,
It's worth remembering that in addition to the first line of the message, your profile name, age and location are all shown on an unread message.
We are in Devon, and often don't read messages from a long way away, as there is no chance that we will meet with that person. That might seem rude to some, but that person chose to waste their time, we choose not to waste ours.
Others will feel the same with regards to age. Some will be put off by username, and of course most will take a quick glance at the profile pic and will often make an instant decision right there and then whether to open the message.
First impressions really do count.
Good luck
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By *eliWoman 3 weeks ago
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Oh how awful of those ladies. Not wanting a dick pic. Hussies. 
Look, OP, hi, how are you can be fine if they're interested in your profile.
You've not acknowledged all the effort women have gone to to reply to this thread. Is that rude? No. Of course not.
If Fab makes you feel frustrated, step away. |
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"How do you start a message without being polite and say hi how are you ?
Seems you cannot do right from wrong, ladies don’t want a dick pic as a first message but they also don’t want a Hi how are you message either 🤷🏻♂️"
There are infinite possibilities other than dick pic and hi.
*Starting* a message with hi is fine. If that's all there is in the message, that's probably just spam. |
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The most important thing about FAB and getting traction is having a decent profile, good pics and then sending out interesting messages.
I’d spend time on your profile and pics first before sending out messages.
Good luck |
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I actually just delete any messages I send on bulk, fab tells me if I've sent them a message and if they have replied perviously anyway. That way I've no idea if they have opened the message or not.
To be honest and to be brutally honest there is far more to life than Fab and if someone has opened a message or not. |
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"How do you start a message without being polite and say hi how are you ?
Seems you cannot do right from wrong, ladies don’t want a dick pic as a first message but they also don’t want a Hi how are you message either 🤷🏻♂️"
In all seriousness, messaging to make an opening connection via Fab as a single man is futile. It works sometimes but the odds are unlikely. To see how bad it is just Search ‘Who’s near’.
Yep, it’s mostly single men. They are your competition. The ratios of who’s near is pretty much representative of the Fab membership generally. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 3 weeks ago
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"Oh how awful of those ladies. Not wanting a dick pic. Hussies.
Look, OP, hi, how are you can be fine if they're interested in your profile.
You've not acknowledged all the effort women have gone to to reply to this thread. Is that rude? No. Of course not.
If Fab makes you feel frustrated, step away. "
Hiya, thanks for all your help and advice. I think I’m only as frustrated as the amazing ladies on here get when they receive a bombardment of dick pics and no actual message with writing lol 😂 |
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"Oh how awful of those ladies. Not wanting a dick pic. Hussies.
Look, OP, hi, how are you can be fine if they're interested in your profile.
You've not acknowledged all the effort women have gone to to reply to this thread. Is that rude? No. Of course not.
If Fab makes you feel frustrated, step away.
Hiya, thanks for all your help and advice. I think I’m only as frustrated as the amazing ladies on here get when they receive a bombardment of dick pics and no actual message with writing lol 😂 "
have you considered it might also be the Spurs jumper in your pic?  |
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"Oh how awful of those ladies. Not wanting a dick pic. Hussies.
Look, OP, hi, how are you can be fine if they're interested in your profile.
You've not acknowledged all the effort women have gone to to reply to this thread. Is that rude? No. Of course not.
If Fab makes you feel frustrated, step away.
Hiya, thanks for all your help and advice. I think I’m only as frustrated as the amazing ladies on here get when they receive a bombardment of dick pics and no actual message with writing lol 😂 "
Why not try an ‘arty’ teasing black and white profile pic of the bow tie, DJ and chest of medals, crop your face out so the ladies are driven by curiosity to take a look at your profile for context, face pics, body shots… |
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By *ounmacCouple 3 weeks ago
Market Harborough |
"How do you start a message without being polite and say hi how are you ?
Seems you cannot do right from wrong, ladies don’t want a dick pic as a first message but they also don’t want a Hi how are you message either 🤷🏻♂️"
If this is the first mail it won’t get read it’s boring and generic sorry to be so blunt |
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"A good place to begin would be to perhaps stop pedestalizing women… how can you be calling someone that you don’t know like that “amazing” 🤔"
It becomes background noise to ignore, tbh.
Hasn't rejected me yet: amazing, stunning, perfect, superlatives
Has rejected me: same thing but insults |
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"How do you start a message without being polite and say hi how are you ?
Seems you cannot do right from wrong, ladies don’t want a dick pic as a first message but they also don’t want a Hi how are you message either 🤷🏻♂️"
Man sends out 20 hi how are you messages, and is shocked when 20 women ignore them |
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"A good place to begin would be to perhaps stop pedestalizing women… how can you be calling someone that you don’t know like that “amazing” 🤔
It becomes background noise to ignore, tbh.
Hasn't rejected me yet: amazing, stunning, perfect, superlatives
Has rejected me: same thing but insults "
Which is why I advised the OP not to lead messages with such superlatives due to the perception that they can give off. |
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"How do you start a message without being polite and say hi how are you ?
Seems you cannot do right from wrong, ladies don’t want a dick pic as a first message but they also don’t want a Hi how are you message either 🤷🏻♂️
Man sends out 20 hi how are you messages, and is shocked when 20 women ignore them "
We all know that women are just so fickle  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 3 weeks ago
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"How do you start a message without being polite and say hi how are you ?
Seems you cannot do right from wrong, ladies don’t want a dick pic as a first message but they also don’t want a Hi how are you message either 🤷🏻♂️
Man sends out 20 hi how are you messages, and is shocked when 20 women ignore them "
I never once said I message with hi how are you and then send. I actually do send a message not just hi - but I do open the message with Hi (profile name) how are you how’s your week/day going ? - then I put a little message after. I cannot see why being slightly polite is such a bad thing ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 3 weeks ago
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"A good place to begin would be to perhaps stop pedestalizing women… how can you be calling someone that you don’t know like that “amazing” 🤔"
Not sure I’ve ever messaged people saying ‘hi you’re amazing’ ??? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 3 weeks ago
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"Don't bother with msgs op. Join in with forum/cam room chat. Even Henry Cavill and Chris Hemsworth would be unread or get a single emoji in reply!"
I’ve checked out the cam rooms, unfortunately it’s even worse than sending a message. Went on the cam/chat room the other day, 110 people in the room, 12 of which were females 🤣😂🤣 |
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By *ounmacCouple 3 weeks ago
Market Harborough |
"Don't bother with msgs op. Join in with forum/cam room chat. Even Henry Cavill and Chris Hemsworth would be unread or get a single emoji in reply!
I’ve checked out the cam rooms, unfortunately it’s even worse than sending a message. Went on the cam/chat room the other day, 110 people in the room, 12 of which were females 🤣😂🤣"
Go too a club and talk face to face don’t get hung up on virtual messages |
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"A good place to begin would be to perhaps stop pedestalizing women… how can you be calling someone that you don’t know like that “amazing” 🤔
Not sure I’ve ever messaged people saying ‘hi you’re amazing’ ??? "
Your first message says "the amazing ladies on this site".
As a woman who's been on this site more than five minutes: stuff like this reads somewhere between insincere and desperate. |
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"A good place to begin would be to perhaps stop pedestalizing women… how can you be calling someone that you don’t know like that “amazing” 🤔
Not sure I’ve ever messaged people saying ‘hi you’re amazing’ ??? "
I was referring more so to the post of which you started this thread with |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 3 weeks ago
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"Don't bother with msgs op. Join in with forum/cam room chat. Even Henry Cavill and Chris Hemsworth would be unread or get a single emoji in reply!
I’ve checked out the cam rooms, unfortunately it’s even worse than sending a message. Went on the cam/chat room the other day, 110 people in the room, 12 of which were females 🤣😂🤣
Go too a club and talk face to face don’t get hung up on virtual messages "
.
Unfortunately I found the club scene uncomfortable- not great for someone in a swingers site I know but I am looking for online friendship and NSA fun with married or single ladies, just found the club scene uncomfortable. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 3 weeks ago
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"A good place to begin would be to perhaps stop pedestalizing women… how can you be calling someone that you don’t know like that “amazing” 🤔
Not sure I’ve ever messaged people saying ‘hi you’re amazing’ ???
Your first message says "the amazing ladies on this site".
As a woman who's been on this site more than five minutes: stuff like this reads somewhere between insincere and desperate."
My apologies, I didn’t mean it to sound pedestalizing or insulting to anyone. |
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"A good place to begin would be to perhaps stop pedestalizing women… how can you be calling someone that you don’t know like that “amazing” 🤔
Not sure I’ve ever messaged people saying ‘hi you’re amazing’ ???
Your first message says "the amazing ladies on this site".
As a woman who's been on this site more than five minutes: stuff like this reads somewhere between insincere and desperate.
My apologies, I didn’t mean it to sound pedestalizing or insulting to anyone. "
I'm not offended, it's very common. I'm just letting you know how it comes across. |
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I try and keep on top of our messages. Even if its just to read and ignore, which is often the case. Some days I could be deep in conversation with someone and other messages go unread for a while. Sometimes I just want to have a craic on the forums and ignore the messages 🤷🏼♀️ |
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By *sm265Woman 3 weeks ago
Perthshire |
"You can read the message in email without opening it on site
You can read the first line without opening it
You can check the profile to see if you’re even interested in opening it
You can be online on fab and not checking your inbox
It’s likely a combination of all of the above plus other factors.
Send your message and then delete it from your sent box so you don’t sit worrying "
All of the above. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 3 weeks ago
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"You’ve got a Spurs top on in your profile picture, even gay men won’t open your messages
It means he's going down"
We are going to get some amazing manager and win all the remaining games 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
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I haven't sent a message on here since the start of 2020 and every conversation I've had since has been started by someone else.
Even when I was sending messages I wouldn't have sent 20 in a year and I always deleted them as soon as I had sent them so I wouldn't be able to check if they had been read or not.
Most of the women I've chatted to on here don't get hundreds of messages because they have tight filters but even if they did they are usually very selective in who they choose to chat to so they would view each profile before opening any message.
I also echo the comment above about referring to the amazing ladies because it comes across as sycophantic. |
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Hi op, as others said, most women look at a profile first and if they're not looking for married men or discreet hotel meets, they probably won't look at the message.
Just delete your sent messages and if you get a reply it's a vice bonus.
Why not look at a club to meet women instead?many are open daytimes. It's hard to just rely on fab for meets nowadays I'd say, especially when you're after something specific ie daytime hotel fun. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 3 weeks ago
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"Hi op, as others said, most women look at a profile first and if they're not looking for married men or discreet hotel meets, they probably won't look at the message.
Just delete your sent messages and if you get a reply it's a vice bonus.
Why not look at a club to meet women instead?many are open daytimes. It's hard to just rely on fab for meets nowadays I'd say, especially when you're after something specific ie daytime hotel fun. "
Hiya, unfortunately like I’ve said previously, I have attended a day club but found it uncomfortable and overwhelming. I like the one to one discreet more intimate meet up and I just felt the club was too much. Being in the same room with a few guys who were naked just made me feel uncomfortable. I know that’s not good being on a swingers site like FAB, but I was old about this site and I joint. No regrets joining, but clubs are just not for me. |
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"Hi op, as others said, most women look at a profile first and if they're not looking for married men or discreet hotel meets, they probably won't look at the message.
Just delete your sent messages and if you get a reply it's a vice bonus.
Why not look at a club to meet women instead?many are open daytimes. It's hard to just rely on fab for meets nowadays I'd say, especially when you're after something specific ie daytime hotel fun.
Hiya, unfortunately like I’ve said previously, I have attended a day club but found it uncomfortable and overwhelming. I like the one to one discreet more intimate meet up and I just felt the club was too much. Being in the same room with a few guys who were naked just made me feel uncomfortable. I know that’s not good being on a swingers site like FAB, but I was old about this site and I joint. No regrets joining, but clubs are just not for me. "
While clubs are by no means compulsory, you might find it harder to meet - even compared to the average man - because of a mismatch in expectations. |
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By *ounmacCouple 3 weeks ago
Market Harborough |
"Hi op, as others said, most women look at a profile first and if they're not looking for married men or discreet hotel meets, they probably won't look at the message.
Just delete your sent messages and if you get a reply it's a vice bonus.
Why not look at a club to meet women instead?many are open daytimes. It's hard to just rely on fab for meets nowadays I'd say, especially when you're after something specific ie daytime hotel fun.
Hiya, unfortunately like I’ve said previously, I have attended a day club but found it uncomfortable and overwhelming. I like the one to one discreet more intimate meet up and I just felt the club was too much. Being in the same room with a few guys who were naked just made me feel uncomfortable. I know that’s not good being on a swingers site like FAB, but I was old about this site and I joint. No regrets joining, but clubs are just not for me. "
Not all clubs are strip down we regularly go to the naughty pineapple we can stay fully dressed all night if we choose no one will bat an eyelid |
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Just because someone is logged on doesn't mean they're answering messages. There's forums, profile tweaking, photos and just perving
Just because someone is on a site like this that doesn't mean the person you messaged is obligated to reply
No reply is a reply
Lots of love from Polly - currently looking at 45 unread messages while on forums |
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"It makes me a little sad that the OP has gone unlos. There was some good advice on this thread but a whole load of smug too. "
He probably thought it would be easier to get meets. He was looking for daytime hotel meets, so is most likely married. |
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As a single bloke you just have to embrace the suck.
If you don’t like seeing unread messages delete them when you send them, then you get a warm little feeling if you get a response from someone you’d messaged weeks ago. |
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I don't worry about it as I know some women get hundreds. What does annoy me is that after 3 weeks the unread mail then changes to look like its been read and says replied even though they have not. |
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"...BUT, I have 20 messages I have sent out and none of them have been read..."
•
I'm surprised you can even find 20 women to message. I can hardly find 2 that would be worthy of a message from me. |
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By *recticWoman 2 weeks ago
taunton |
"In relation to this, I was talking with a beautiful woman and it was going really well then just nothing. I've been left of not opened. Do chats get lost in the mountain of incoming messages? "
They do but to give it context, I’ve got 1118 messages unread at the mo. Sometimes it just gets overwhelming and then I can’t be arsed at all. Someone I was talking to will send repeated messages and it puts me off. It’s hard for a guy to strike the balance right but if it’s meant to be then it will work out for you. Some of its presentation, some of its physical attraction and its part luck. Getting attention back for a guy must be difficult alone but keeping it is even trickier |
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"In relation to this, I was talking with a beautiful woman and it was going really well then just nothing. I've been left of not opened. Do chats get lost in the mountain of incoming messages?
They do but to give it context, I’ve got 1118 messages unread at the mo. Sometimes it just gets overwhelming and then I can’t be arsed at all. Someone I was talking to will send repeated messages and it puts me off. It’s hard for a guy to strike the balance right but if it’s meant to be then it will work out for you. Some of its presentation, some of its physical attraction and its part luck. Getting attention back for a guy must be difficult alone but keeping it is even trickier "
1118?? |
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"In relation to this, I was talking with a beautiful woman and it was going really well then just nothing. I've been left of not opened. Do chats get lost in the mountain of incoming messages?
They do but to give it context, I’ve got 1118 messages unread at the mo. Sometimes it just gets overwhelming and then I can’t be arsed at all. Someone I was talking to will send repeated messages and it puts me off. It’s hard for a guy to strike the balance right but if it’s meant to be then it will work out for you. Some of its presentation, some of its physical attraction and its part luck. Getting attention back for a guy must be difficult alone but keeping it is even trickier "
And i bet when you post a new pic the messages come flooding in on top of the 1000+ messages you already have |
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By *recticWoman 2 weeks ago
taunton |
"In relation to this, I was talking with a beautiful woman and it was going really well then just nothing. I've been left of not opened. Do chats get lost in the mountain of incoming messages?
They do but to give it context, I’ve got 1118 messages unread at the mo. Sometimes it just gets overwhelming and then I can’t be arsed at all. Someone I was talking to will send repeated messages and it puts me off. It’s hard for a guy to strike the balance right but if it’s meant to be then it will work out for you. Some of its presentation, some of its physical attraction and its part luck. Getting attention back for a guy must be difficult alone but keeping it is even trickier
1118??"
1122 now  it’s too much admin for me. |
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