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Bumhole Theory ........
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This is my theory.
Anal loving men should do it with other men.
Many men ( on here - more men than not ) rant about anal sex, beg for anal sex, do not want to die without having had anal sex..
All the scheming and making up of stories about it as if they know what it feels like to have one shoved up them ( yes I know some love it ! ) and all the while the woman is made to feel as if she is cruel and denying them a right e.g. Beryl does it with Charlie and Charlie says she cums quicker and harder ( I bet she says she does )
Anyway - then the women who love it. They love it they do. They say they do and I believe them - yet ..... I couldn't accommodate a cock if I wanted to - and I don't want to. For me it's like trying to wedge a french stick into a pin hole. Apart from that my biggest objection is that it's a poo chute and I don't want to play in poo or germs ( save me the douche stories - even the bacteria are laughing at you )
Then a lovely TV will pop onto the thread and I can feel how much they are gagging for it as they scream about the pleasure it gives them .... and I think , 'yes darling but you are 6ft 5" with an anal passage the width of drain pipe and a sphincter you can flick open n snap shut at will ...... I'm 5ft 4 with a starfish that hasn't seen interior lighting ever ...
So... should all anal loving men only do it with other anal loving men.
I can't hod carry bricks and I can't take a cock up the bum.
( thank you - I have submitted my theory for peer review ) |
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"This is my theory.
Anal loving men should do it with other men.
Many men ( on here - more men than not ) rant about anal sex, beg for anal sex, do not want to die without having had anal sex..
All the scheming and making up of stories about it as if they know what it feels like to have one shoved up them ( yes I know some love it ! ) and all the while the woman is made to feel as if she is cruel and denying them a right e.g. Beryl does it with Charlie and Charlie says she cums quicker and harder ( I bet she says she does )
Anyway - then the women who love it. They love it they do. They say they do and I believe them - yet ..... I couldn't accommodate a cock if I wanted to - and I don't want to. For me it's like trying to wedge a french stick into a pin hole. Apart from that my biggest objection is that it's a poo chute and I don't want to play in poo or germs ( save me the douche stories - even the bacteria are laughing at you )
Then a lovely TV will pop onto the thread and I can feel how much they are gagging for it as they scream about the pleasure it gives them .... and I think , 'yes darling but you are 6ft 5" with an anal passage the width of drain pipe and a sphincter you can flick open n snap shut at will ...... I'm 5ft 4 with a starfish that hasn't seen interior lighting ever ...
So... should all anal loving men only do it with other anal loving men.
I can't hod carry bricks and I can't take a cock up the bum.
( thank you - I have submitted my theory for peer review ) "
I blame the greeks |
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"This is my theory.
Anal loving men should do it with other men.
Many men ( on here - more men than not ) rant about anal sex, beg for anal sex, do not want to die without having had anal sex..
All the scheming and making up of stories about it as if they know what it feels like to have one shoved up them ( yes I know some love it ! ) and all the while the woman is made to feel as if she is cruel and denying them a right e.g. Beryl does it with Charlie and Charlie says she cums quicker and harder ( I bet she says she does )
Anyway - then the women who love it. They love it they do. They say they do and I believe them - yet ..... I couldn't accommodate a cock if I wanted to - and I don't want to. For me it's like trying to wedge a french stick into a pin hole. Apart from that my biggest objection is that it's a poo chute and I don't want to play in poo or germs ( save me the douche stories - even the bacteria are laughing at you )
Then a lovely TV will pop onto the thread and I can feel how much they are gagging for it as they scream about the pleasure it gives them .... and I think , 'yes darling but you are 6ft 5" with an anal passage the width of drain pipe and a sphincter you can flick open n snap shut at will ...... I'm 5ft 4 with a starfish that hasn't seen interior lighting ever ...
So... should all anal loving men only do it with other anal loving men.
I can't hod carry bricks and I can't take a cock up the bum.
( thank you - I have submitted my theory for peer review )
I blame the greeks"
😂😂 |
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By *vaRoseWoman 2 weeks ago
Ankh-Morpork |
"This is my theory.
Anal loving men should do it with other men.
Many men ( on here - more men than not ) rant about anal sex, beg for anal sex, do not want to die without having had anal sex..
All the scheming and making up of stories about it as if they know what it feels like to have one shoved up them ( yes I know some love it ! ) and all the while the woman is made to feel as if she is cruel and denying them a right e.g. Beryl does it with Charlie and Charlie says she cums quicker and harder ( I bet she says she does )
Anyway - then the women who love it. They love it they do. They say they do and I believe them - yet ..... I couldn't accommodate a cock if I wanted to - and I don't want to. For me it's like trying to wedge a french stick into a pin hole. Apart from that my biggest objection is that it's a poo chute and I don't want to play in poo or germs ( save me the douche stories - even the bacteria are laughing at you )
Then a lovely TV will pop onto the thread and I can feel how much they are gagging for it as they scream about the pleasure it gives them .... and I think , 'yes darling but you are 6ft 5" with an anal passage the width of drain pipe and a sphincter you can flick open n snap shut at will ...... I'm 5ft 4 with a starfish that hasn't seen interior lighting ever ...
So... should all anal loving men only do it with other anal loving men.
I can't hod carry bricks and I can't take a cock up the bum.
( thank you - I have submitted my theory for peer review )
I blame the greeks"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 |
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By *essTTWoman 2 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"This is my theory.
Anal loving men should do it with other men.
Many men ( on here - more men than not ) rant about anal sex, beg for anal sex, do not want to die without having had anal sex..
All the scheming and making up of stories about it as if they know what it feels like to have one shoved up them ( yes I know some love it ! ) and all the while the woman is made to feel as if she is cruel and denying them a right e.g. Beryl does it with Charlie and Charlie says she cums quicker and harder ( I bet she says she does )
Anyway - then the women who love it. They love it they do. They say they do and I believe them - yet ..... I couldn't accommodate a cock if I wanted to - and I don't want to. For me it's like trying to wedge a french stick into a pin hole. Apart from that my biggest objection is that it's a poo chute and I don't want to play in poo or germs ( save me the douche stories - even the bacteria are laughing at you )
Then a lovely TV will pop onto the thread and I can feel how much they are gagging for it as they scream about the pleasure it gives them .... and I think , 'yes darling but you are 6ft 5" with an anal passage the width of drain pipe and a sphincter you can flick open n snap shut at will ...... I'm 5ft 4 with a starfish that hasn't seen interior lighting ever ...
So... should all anal loving men only do it with other anal loving men.
I can't hod carry bricks and I can't take a cock up the bum.
( thank you - I have submitted my theory for peer review ) "
Not if they're straight then no 
However I do believe they should understand that anal is a privilege not a right  |
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"I had two up my bum on Saturday. Then I fucked the wife’s bum while I was being fucked. It was the best sixum we’ve ever had. Period. Hopefully we’ve found our forever fuck buddies. "
This is such a feelgood contribution. Thank you. x |
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"This is my theory.
Anal loving men should do it with other men.
Many men ( on here - more men than not ) rant about anal sex, beg for anal sex, do not want to die without having had anal sex..
All the scheming and making up of stories about it as if they know what it feels like to have one shoved up them ( yes I know some love it ! ) and all the while the woman is made to feel as if she is cruel and denying them a right e.g. Beryl does it with Charlie and Charlie says she cums quicker and harder ( I bet she says she does )
Anyway - then the women who love it. They love it they do. They say they do and I believe them - yet ..... I couldn't accommodate a cock if I wanted to - and I don't want to. For me it's like trying to wedge a french stick into a pin hole. Apart from that my biggest objection is that it's a poo chute and I don't want to play in poo or germs ( save me the douche stories - even the bacteria are laughing at you )
Then a lovely TV will pop onto the thread and I can feel how much they are gagging for it as they scream about the pleasure it gives them .... and I think , 'yes darling but you are 6ft 5" with an anal passage the width of drain pipe and a sphincter you can flick open n snap shut at will ...... I'm 5ft 4 with a starfish that hasn't seen interior lighting ever ...
So... should all anal loving men only do it with other anal loving men.
I can't hod carry bricks and I can't take a cock up the bum.
( thank you - I have submitted my theory for peer review )
I blame the greeks"
🤣😂 |
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"I can't hod carry bricks and I can't take a cock up the bum.
But I've never been to me.
Ladies and gents , this is Nude - Nude Law and he always goes for total completion!
of a song "
I always follow through.
This is NOT related to the topic. |
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"This is my theory.
Anal loving men should do it with other men.
Many men ( on here - more men than not ) rant about anal sex, beg for anal sex, do not want to die without having had anal sex..
All the scheming and making up of stories about it as if they know what it feels like to have one shoved up them ( yes I know some love it ! ) and all the while the woman is made to feel as if she is cruel and denying them a right e.g. Beryl does it with Charlie and Charlie says she cums quicker and harder ( I bet she says she does )
Anyway - then the women who love it. They love it they do. They say they do and I believe them - yet ..... I couldn't accommodate a cock if I wanted to - and I don't want to. For me it's like trying to wedge a french stick into a pin hole. Apart from that my biggest objection is that it's a poo chute and I don't want to play in poo or germs ( save me the douche stories - even the bacteria are laughing at you )
Then a lovely TV will pop onto the thread and I can feel how much they are gagging for it as they scream about the pleasure it gives them .... and I think , 'yes darling but you are 6ft 5" with an anal passage the width of drain pipe and a sphincter you can flick open n snap shut at will ...... I'm 5ft 4 with a starfish that hasn't seen interior lighting ever ...
So... should all anal loving men only do it with other anal loving men.
I can't hod carry bricks and I can't take a cock up the bum.
( thank you - I have submitted my theory for peer review )
I blame the greeks"
I agree wholeheartedly 🤣 |
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By *mf123Man 2 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
If you practice by sliding down banisters backwards onto one of them wooden egg shaped stoppers im sure it will get you used to it
However you may get a spell in your grannyfanny so be sure to sand it up first |
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No mens bums are gross, especially hairy skinny white ones, and fat ones, and women are just shy to admit they love it, they love getting thier A spot hit, they demand it of us actually we're just trying to be nice and comply. |
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By *mf123Man 2 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
"No mens bums are gross, especially hairy skinny white ones, and fat ones, and women are just shy to admit they love it, they love getting thier A spot hit, they demand it of us actually we're just trying to be nice and comply."
also women dont shit
|
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"No mens bums are gross, especially hairy skinny white ones, and fat ones, and women are just shy to admit they love it, they love getting thier A spot hit, they demand it of us actually we're just trying to be nice and comply.also women dont shit"
But if they drop a little one in your foreskin just hide under the pillow so it's not too embarrass them  |
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By *mf123Man 2 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
"No mens bums are gross, especially hairy skinny white ones, and fat ones, and women are just shy to admit they love it, they love getting thier A spot hit, they demand it of us actually we're just trying to be nice and comply.also women dont shit
But if they drop a little one in your foreskin just hide under the pillow so it's not too embarrass them "
is it like the tooth fairy where you get a no win no fee payout |
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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"If you like it up the bum, take it up the bum.
If you don’t like it up the bum, don’t take it up the bum.
If you want to put it up someone’s bum, check if they like it up the bum"
This is the definitive answer.
Same can be said for deepthroat.
In fact the same can be said for every sexual act.
OP, the size of your sphincter will be about the same size as quite a thick cock when you take a dump.
But if you don’t want to try it, no worries, it’s your hole. There are women who love anal and women who don’t.
As for men fucking other men if they want anal rather than woman, I’m all in favour of that and happy to help 😉
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Its all down to choice if a woman wants to try it then thats up to them also if they don't then thats up to them as well. Putting pressure on someone to try it is just wrong nobody should have to "get used to" anything just for someone else's pleasure. |
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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Perhaps some kind of bilateral agreement where men only do anal with other men, and women only do fanny felatio with other women? After all most men are terrified of getting down there and making a mess of it, or finding the recipient hasn't had a shower since they did that charity half marathon last week.
Kind of a quim pro quo arrangement? |
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By *essTTWoman 2 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"Perhaps some kind of bilateral agreement where men only do anal with other men, and women only do fanny felatio with other women? After all most men are terrified of getting down there and making a mess of it, or finding the recipient hasn't had a shower since they did that charity half marathon last week.
Kind of a quim pro quo arrangement?"
What's fanny felatio? |
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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"Perhaps some kind of bilateral agreement where men only do anal with other men, and women only do fanny felatio with other women? After all most men are terrified of getting down there and making a mess of it, or finding the recipient hasn't had a shower since they did that charity half marathon last week.
Kind of a quim pro quo arrangement?
What's fanny felatio? "
She plays for AC Milan. |
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"Perhaps some kind of bilateral agreement where men only do anal with other men, and women only do fanny felatio with other women? After all most men are terrified of getting down there and making a mess of it, or finding the recipient hasn't had a shower since they did that charity half marathon last week.
Kind of a quim pro quo arrangement?
What's fanny felatio? "
Cunnilingus is the oral stimulation of female genitalia—including the clitoris, vulva, and vagina—using the lips, tongue, or mouth. It is a form of oral sex, often used for pleasure, arousal, or to achieve orgasm. 🤓 |
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By *essTTWoman 2 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"Perhaps some kind of bilateral agreement where men only do anal with other men, and women only do fanny felatio with other women? After all most men are terrified of getting down there and making a mess of it, or finding the recipient hasn't had a shower since they did that charity half marathon last week.
Kind of a quim pro quo arrangement?
What's fanny felatio?
She plays for AC Milan."
Ah ok, I don't watch basketball x |
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If only it was as simple as choosing to have sex with men, I wish I was made that way, but I’m not so I won’t be partaking in any man love in the near future.
As a comedian I can’t remember the name of once said “I have nothing against penises, I just don’t like them on men”  |
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"Ummm. My theory is those who enjoy anal should do it with others who enjoy anal. Enthusiastic consent is a marvellous thing."
Don’t come around here being all sensible, permissive and logical in the middle of a rant! |
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"I had two up my bum on Saturday. Then I fucked the wife’s bum while I was being fucked. It was the best sixum we’ve ever had. Period. Hopefully we’ve found our forever fuck buddies. "
I really wish this hadn’t been posted by somebody with a photo of their cock in a jug of what is potentially a drink (although I’m uncertain on that point) |
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Mr enjoys anal, me not so much, I see it as an exit not an entrance hole.
Mr likes females only so no amount of yearning for anal would make him stick it up a man’s bottom or indeed have a man stick one up him.
There are toys if we did want to do anal play together.
Straight men can like it up the bum in the same way as gay women like the feeling of a dildo which is similar to a cock but not fancy a man. It’s the sexual act of pleasure and not sexual preference of gender. |
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"For me it's like trying to wedge a french stick into a pin hole. "
That’s where you’ve been going wrong, you should start with a well buttered finger roll to get used to it. If you try and start with the crusty baguette, it’s quite literally “Le pain in the arse” |
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"Ummm. My theory is those who enjoy anal should do it with others who enjoy anal. Enthusiastic consent is a marvellous thing."
Ha cracked the code on this most strangest of question.....rant.....musing |
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"I often wonder how many men who love giving anal would be so keen to keep doing so if they had to have it done to them 1st?? 🤔🤔
On here ? Are you really wondering that "
Yip because I've never met a man into it |
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"Ummm. My theory is those who enjoy anal should do it with others who enjoy anal. Enthusiastic consent is a marvellous thing."
I would love to experience the feeling of being in your ass and filling you with my cum, then seeing it oozing out
|
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"This is my theory.
Anal loving men should do it with other men.
Many men ( on here - more men than not ) rant about anal sex, beg for anal sex, do not want to die without having had anal sex..
All the scheming and making up of stories about it as if they know what it feels like to have one shoved up them ( yes I know some love it ! ) and all the while the woman is made to feel as if she is cruel and denying them a right e.g. Beryl does it with Charlie and Charlie says she cums quicker and harder ( I bet she says she does )
Anyway - then the women who love it. They love it they do. They say they do and I believe them - yet ..... I couldn't accommodate a cock if I wanted to - and I don't want to. For me it's like trying to wedge a french stick into a pin hole. Apart from that my biggest objection is that it's a poo chute and I don't want to play in poo or germs ( save me the douche stories - even the bacteria are laughing at you )
Then a lovely TV will pop onto the thread and I can feel how much they are gagging for it as they scream about the pleasure it gives them .... and I think , 'yes darling but you are 6ft 5" with an anal passage the width of drain pipe and a sphincter you can flick open n snap shut at will ...... I'm 5ft 4 with a starfish that hasn't seen interior lighting ever ...
So... should all anal loving men only do it with other anal loving men.
I can't hod carry bricks and I can't take a cock up the bum.
( thank you - I have submitted my theory for peer review ) "
not every Woman likes it up the bum but you also have those who love it and those who don't mind, each to their own x |
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"This is my theory.
Anal loving men should do it with other men.
Many men ( on here - more men than not ) rant about anal sex, beg for anal sex, do not want to die without having had anal sex..
All the scheming and making up of stories about it as if they know what it feels like to have one shoved up them ( yes I know some love it ! ) and all the while the woman is made to feel as if she is cruel and denying them a right e.g. Beryl does it with Charlie and Charlie says she cums quicker and harder ( I bet she says she does )
Anyway - then the women who love it. They love it they do. They say they do and I believe them - yet ..... I couldn't accommodate a cock if I wanted to - and I don't want to. For me it's like trying to wedge a french stick into a pin hole. Apart from that my biggest objection is that it's a poo chute and I don't want to play in poo or germs ( save me the douche stories - even the bacteria are laughing at you )
Then a lovely TV will pop onto the thread and I can feel how much they are gagging for it as they scream about the pleasure it gives them .... and I think , 'yes darling but you are 6ft 5" with an anal passage the width of drain pipe and a sphincter you can flick open n snap shut at will ...... I'm 5ft 4 with a starfish that hasn't seen interior lighting ever ...
So... should all anal loving men only do it with other anal loving men.
I can't hod carry bricks and I can't take a cock up the bum.
( thank you - I have submitted my theory for peer review ) "
Playing hard to get.. sounds like you’re aching for a drainpipe up the fartpipe to me!! |
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"I like it when you creampie her special hole and the spunk dribbles out like the milk from cocopops 
I don't know about you, but I don't put kernels of sweetcorn on my cocopops  "
I won't be eating Coco pops for the next year. Thanks. |
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