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Etiquette of forum responses?
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I almost exclusively reply in the forums to someone unless it's part of a game to message someone on the thread as I assume they don't really want their inbox disturbed by someone that could've been a reply in the forums. If they want to message me off the back of a reply, they're more than welcome to. |
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Its a tough one OP. Lots will say its rude and dont want that. Others wont care and will be happy to chat. Your way of knowing that without asking individually not really realistic.
Like sparkle said shoot your shot the worst that can happen is they say please dont message me or block you. But most people have filters ib place that would prevent this if it was unwanted anyway i would guess 🤷♀️ |
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I don't mind when there's already a sense of rapport, there's been back and forth already. Particularly when the attempt of the private message is friendly.
When there's little or no pre-existing history, and/or it's immediately sexual (particularly creepy), I'll just block. |
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By *oyoteUglyWoman 2 weeks ago
Somewhere dark and gloomy |
You get the "keep it the thread please" people 🙄
Some will talk to anyone.
Some will block you for the sheer audacity of sending them a message.
Some will just delete and ignore you.
Just do what you want really |
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"[Removed by poster at 07/04/26 21:47:57]
Pm'd you
Keep it in the thread please
Ok 
Wait! You are telling me I could have said this from the start and it would have stopped? "
You have so much to learn |
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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"[Removed by poster at 07/04/26 21:47:57]
Pm'd you
Keep it in the thread please
Ok
Wait! You are telling me I could have said this from the start and it would have stopped?
You have so much to learn "
I'm an expert in not getting messages  |
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"What’s the etiquette when there is some kind of interaction in forum posts? Is it then rude to message assuming you couldn’t try to chat more in the forum posts?"
Yes, and send a dick pic showing them that you’re genuine |
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Despite being a geezah and getting very few unsolicited messages, I still raise an eyebrow when I get one from a forum thread.
I got one today and thought “So why couldn’t you have said that as a post instead of a pm?” If it’s a friend or someone with whom I have an existing connection, that’s fine, otherwise I’d rather ‘keep it in the forum, please. Mmmkay?’ |
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"What’s the etiquette when there is some kind of interaction in forum posts? Is it then rude to message assuming you couldn’t try to chat more in the forum posts?"
I'm quite irreverent about such protocols and etiquette — I always "Reply Privately" and then follow it up with another message "Oops! That was meant to be for the thread, apologies!".
I find forgiveness is better than permission. That kind of approach often leads a social+. |
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Im really happy to get messages on the back of forum threads is if they have something proper to say and its not sexual. Also op there are threads asking for pms for varies things, join in them as well |
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I couldn’t care less. Inventing etiquette on a website is absurd.
If the DM is from someone who won’t address me in the forums they can fuck off promptly.
If it’s someone who wants to say something parallel to addressing me in the forums that’s fine.
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I think it depends on the context of the thread and if there's flirty banter to invite a private text.
I don't welcome messages from opportunistic folk using a public chat about a topic as an invitation to send me a dickpic.
I'd not be pissy about it, but I will say the eyeroller's fav of 'keep it to the thread' because if I reply directly it would disable filters and also possibly start an avalanche of follow up messages that will end in a block so yes, I'll say to keep it to the thread.
It's a fair point to make.
Also, inevitably there's a chorus of others who will follow with 'oh so it wasn't just me then' 🫡 |
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Mostly you'll find that its not welcomed unless its from a post that specifically needs you to contact them even then you will find that some will still ignore the messages while others will engage in atleast a short conversation. |
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By *eyeYCouple 2 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
Personally we find the majority are a comment that they could've posted to the thread and wonder why they didn't..
Some however have been particularly well received, personal to us and have resulted in meets.
In short, it's very much dependent on the content and context of the message 😘 |
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I've noticed a lot don't seem to like replies by private mail. However it really doesn't bother me if anyone messages privately in response to a forum post. It is afterall a feature of the forum that gives the option to reply privately. I don't see how it can be rude to use something the forum itself provides  |
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I don’t think you should message people from a thread. If it is thread related then keep it on the thread. If it isn’t then you are making a move and that would be more honestly done through a DM.
A couple of back and forth a on a thread doesn’t really indicate anything, no matter how much some people want to read hidden signals into them. |
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I have no problem with private messages relating to a thread if its polite and relevent, unless its someone that isnt posting in the thread as well...I always find that odd
My filters do prevent a lot of it though 🤷♀️ |
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Most of the time the message has nothing to do with your comment or even the thread. I don't like receiving private messages from forum comments cos it's more rude to ignore it when I can't think of a response.
Can ignore comments on here as no notification.
Also if the message is related to the forum, surely it could benefit others to reply in the thread |
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"Personally we find the majority are a comment that they could've posted to the thread and wonder why they didn't..
Some however have been particularly well received, personal to us and have resulted in meets.
In short, it's very much dependent on the content and context of the message 😘"
This some are just about the thread that can be posted there it's the ones totally off topic that annoy me |
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I’ve got message filters on now but previously, if someone messaged off the back of a thread, whether it bothered me would it depend on who sent it, what type of message they sent and any interaction we might have had beforehand. As others have said, you can try messaging privately but there’s a good chance you’ll be ignored or blocked. |
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Most of my fab interactions have come via the forum one way or another.
My filters are on, so it would have to be a pretty direct comment that led to messaging nowadays.
Forum flanter is definitely a thing, I'd take most interactions here with a pinch of salt and not message off the back of them, but if it was a polite and relevant message I'd be open to it (were my filters lifted) |
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"You get the "keep it the thread please" people 🙄
Some will talk to anyone.
Some will block you for the sheer audacity of sending them a message.
Some will just delete and ignore you.
Just do what you want really"
All of the above applies, well written UB. Just don't be offended if your best written work results in a block. |
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"Personally we find the majority are a comment that they could've posted to the thread and wonder why they didn't..
Some however have been particularly well received, personal to us and have resulted in meets.
In short, it's very much dependent on the content and context of the message 😘
This some are just about the thread that can be posted there it's the ones totally off topic that annoy me "
Snap for me too |
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