I’ve decided to change the categorisation system of my archived celebrity belly button fluff collection. I’m going from alphabetical to date acquired so I can appreciate the journey. These things take time to get right, so women with standards will just have to wait.

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple 2 weeks ago

Round the bend

Got the clap

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan 2 weeks ago

Glasgow / London / Manchester

Too busy clapping.

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By *hunderaceMan 2 weeks ago

Dudley

I'm washing my hair...

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan 2 weeks ago

Glasgow / London / Manchester

I’m washing my car.

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By *estructionDollyWoman 2 weeks ago

Manchester

All my lingerie is in the wash

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By *he MinionMan 2 weeks ago

We met before, you forgot and i wasnt impressed

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By *ermanentlyHorny8082Couple 2 weeks ago

North West

There are no straight, married men on here - and we only meet straight, married men 🤨

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan 2 weeks ago

Glasgow / London / Manchester

… because *someone* doesn’t read profiles.

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By *gly duck cdTV/TS 2 weeks ago

Middlesbrough

I’m washing my truck

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple 2 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

Having a wank

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By *tellaartoisCouple 2 weeks ago

glasgow

Riding the winner in the National today. Just after hubby scores a hattrick for Celtic today.

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By *a LunaWoman 2 weeks ago

Wales

My mattress needs to dry out

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By *morousCouple8Couple 2 weeks ago

Cumbria

We’ve already completed Fab

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By *3dwood OP Man 2 weeks ago

London

Fucking loving these replies all.

I’m not meeting as I have plans with the neighbours cat

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple 2 weeks ago

Round the bend

The wife's to vanilla

Mr 🐺

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By *avexxMan 2 weeks ago

cheshire

ive snapped my willy

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By *angled up in twoCouple 2 weeks ago

West Mids

I spent all night in the ocean fishing for astronauts.

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By *artorialMan 2 weeks ago

weymouth

On re-entry, not yet splashed down

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By *hlongasaurus_rexMan 2 weeks ago

Skelmersdale

Gotta see a man about a dog

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By *cribeMan 2 weeks ago

Bridgend

I sliced one of my bollocks off whilst shaving.

New balls please.

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By *assyforfunWoman 2 weeks ago

HELSTON

Been shagging all day. Running on empty 😱

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By *hams123Man 2 weeks ago

London

I suffer from a rare form of gigantism. My penis is too big right now. It would be dangerous for all involved.

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By *exxyyDy11Man 2 weeks ago

North West

"I suffer from a rare form of gigantism. My penis is too big right now. It would be dangerous for all involved."

Oh so you are the one who causes earthquakes are you

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By *hams123Man 2 weeks ago

London

"I suffer from a rare form of gigantism. My penis is too big right now. It would be dangerous for all involved.

Oh so you are the one who causes earthquakes are you"

My reputation precedes me.

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By *oastal1968Man 2 weeks ago

London/Stafford

I won the Euro millions lottery and I'm counting my money.

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By *en_kMan 2 weeks ago

North West

Have roundabouts to paint and flags to hoist. This country won’t save itself

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By *exxyyDy11Man 2 weeks ago

North West

"I suffer from a rare form of gigantism. My penis is too big right now. It would be dangerous for all involved.

Oh so you are the one who causes earthquakes are you

My reputation precedes me."

That is okay. My cock causes Volcanic eruptions. I know the struggle.

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By *ellhungvweMan 2 weeks ago

Cheltenham

The clique asked me to have a break to let all the other guys have a chance on here.

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By *ineapplePixieCouple 2 weeks ago

S.Wales

Too busy lady wanking over you! ✨️

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By *hams123Man 2 weeks ago

London

"I suffer from a rare form of gigantism. My penis is too big right now. It would be dangerous for all involved.

Oh so you are the one who causes earthquakes are you

My reputation precedes me.

That is okay. My cock causes Volcanic eruptions. I know the struggle."

Are you the one they call Pompeii?

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By *tormQueenWoman 2 weeks ago

Manchester

"My toes hurt"

This morning I wrote this

This afternoon I dropped a chair on my big toe

So now its actually true 🙈🙈

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By *hams123Man 2 weeks ago

London

"My toes hurt

This morning I wrote this

This afternoon I dropped a chair on my big toe

So now its actually true 🙈🙈"

Self fulfilling prophecy 😂

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By *an1978Woman 2 weeks ago

Wales

I can't find my left shoe...

And am a little wobbly to be hopping down the road.

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple 2 weeks ago

Round the bend

"Have roundabouts to paint and flags to hoist. This country won’t save itself "

That really made me laugh!!👏🏼👏🏼🤣🤣🤣🤣😂

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By *nderson ByresMan 2 weeks ago

Glasgow

I'm going round England with loads of Scotland flags, to claim it all and make the island just Scotland and Wales.

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By *ulldog_71Man 2 weeks ago

Sedgefield

I blame specsavers for giving everyone better eyesight i look a lot better when people don't wear their glasses

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By *aters139Man 2 weeks ago

Sheffield

"Wrong answers only"

Can't decide who to choose from.

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