FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Mental Health check in
Mental Health check in
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"I am an adult survivor of child abuse and neglect Stuff that was suppressed for years came to the surface when my wife died in 2011 I suffered a mental health breakdown in 2014 and tried to take my life on two separate occasions. Since 2018 I have studied counselling and psychotherapy and had looked at starting my own practice Instead I worked for a while with the NSPCC Childline as a counsellor. From there I have specialised in children especially those with Special Needs. I currently work in an ASN/SEN School however, I have also looked at starting my own online business using ancient Chinese practices to help other people live a longer more wellbeing life So will see where that leads me Anyway, I am in here sporadically for anyone looking for support " One of my main stressors at the moment is a teen with EBSA. I'm convinced ADHD is the cause, but no-one is listening! It's so frustrating! | |||
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"Not to good being honest,I've only just started coming out of the house 3 days ago for the first time in 4 weeks, didn't answer my phone, let anyone in ,PTSD reared up its been simmering since I first got a trigger last fathers day weekend and another 2 in a week about 2 months ago,which has had a riot,night terrors,graphic nightmares, not had a proper sleep in the time either, anxiety has been up there too,everything has been a hill climb,and had plenty of switched off couldn't give a fuck whatever happens days,and basically that eccentric in my behaviour, even I can see it myself,Hopefully I'm getting on top of it now, it's just yet another battle I have to win ,to stay in the war😐" Hugs. It sounds like it's been an exceptionally hard time. | |||
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"Not to good being honest,I've only just started coming out of the house 3 days ago for the first time in 4 weeks, didn't answer my phone, let anyone in ,PTSD reared up its been simmering since I first got a trigger last fathers day weekend and another 2 in a week about 2 months ago,which has had a riot,night terrors,graphic nightmares, not had a proper sleep in the time either, anxiety has been up there too,everything has been a hill climb,and had plenty of switched off couldn't give a fuck whatever happens days,and basically that eccentric in my behaviour, even I can see it myself,Hopefully I'm getting on top of it now, it's just yet another battle I have to win ,to stay in the war😐 Hugs. It sounds like it's been an exceptionally hard time. " Thanks, it's just been awful I've been ok for a couple of years, I don't take any medication, I weaned myself off it probably 5 years ago now,im lucky I had an awful amount of mental resilience until I got ill after my 15 lad was killed in a hit and run.Funny thing I was in the Army until I wrecked my knee,and I'd served in Bosnia and Kosovo in the 90s,and witnessed some grim shit ,yet never affected me and still doesn't,that burns me out thinking how that didn't effect me, yet other things did. | |||
"I am an adult survivor of child abuse and neglect Stuff that was suppressed for years came to the surface when my wife died in 2011 I suffered a mental health breakdown in 2014 and tried to take my life on two separate occasions. Since 2018 I have studied counselling and psychotherapy and had looked at starting my own practice Instead I worked for a while with the NSPCC Childline as a counsellor. From there I have specialised in children especially those with Special Needs. I currently work in an ASN/SEN School however, I have also looked at starting my own online business using ancient Chinese practices to help other people live a longer more wellbeing life So will see where that leads me Anyway, I am in here sporadically for anyone looking for support One of my main stressors at the moment is a teen with EBSA. I'm convinced ADHD is the cause, but no-one is listening! It's so frustrating! " EBSA is a hard one. My 10 year old grandson has something very similar however, he has other major traumas in his short life that could be affecting it His mum and dad split up when he was 6, he was then taken in to a violent abusive relationship for 2 years. Now he is split 50% between each parent. At mums house his comfort is food and he has gained incredible amount of weight that is going unmonitored by his mum or her family, in fact if anything obesity is natural in her family His dad is currently living with me, although his food and his time on electronic games is limited and controlled, we have the added problem of school bullying Has anyone sat down with your teenager and discussed any of his emotions with him | |||
"Not to good being honest,I've only just started coming out of the house 3 days ago for the first time in 4 weeks, didn't answer my phone, let anyone in ,PTSD reared up its been simmering since I first got a trigger last fathers day weekend and another 2 in a week about 2 months ago,which has had a riot,night terrors,graphic nightmares, not had a proper sleep in the time either, anxiety has been up there too,everything has been a hill climb,and had plenty of switched off couldn't give a fuck whatever happens days,and basically that eccentric in my behaviour, even I can see it myself,Hopefully I'm getting on top of it now, it's just yet another battle I have to win ,to stay in the war😐 Hugs. It sounds like it's been an exceptionally hard time. Thanks, it's just been awful I've been ok for a couple of years, I don't take any medication, I weaned myself off it probably 5 years ago now,im lucky I had an awful amount of mental resilience until I got ill after my 15 lad was killed in a hit and run.Funny thing I was in the Army until I wrecked my knee,and I'd served in Bosnia and Kosovo in the 90s,and witnessed some grim shit ,yet never affected me and still doesn't,that burns me out thinking how that didn't effect me, yet other things did." Did you get any emotional support after your son died ? What happened in Bosnia/Kosova etc is still underlying and you may be transferring that guilt. I would advise speaking to someone about it and mention EVERYTHING as one event can trigger the other in PTSD. Medication, yes if you can avoid then please do. Anti depressants can make you worse. As mentioned above in my original post I attempted to take my own life whilst on Mirtazapine, Seek out SSAFA, I did some voluntary work for them, they are a huge help for ex military getting there life together. | |||
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"I am an adult survivor of child abuse and neglect Stuff that was suppressed for years came to the surface when my wife died in 2011 I suffered a mental health breakdown in 2014 and tried to take my life on two separate occasions. Since 2018 I have studied counselling and psychotherapy and had looked at starting my own practice Instead I worked for a while with the NSPCC Childline as a counsellor. From there I have specialised in children especially those with Special Needs. I currently work in an ASN/SEN School however, I have also looked at starting my own online business using ancient Chinese practices to help other people live a longer more wellbeing life So will see where that leads me Anyway, I am in here sporadically for anyone looking for support One of my main stressors at the moment is a teen with EBSA. I'm convinced ADHD is the cause, but no-one is listening! It's so frustrating! EBSA is a hard one. My 10 year old grandson has something very similar however, he has other major traumas in his short life that could be affecting it His mum and dad split up when he was 6, he was then taken in to a violent abusive relationship for 2 years. Now he is split 50% between each parent. At mums house his comfort is food and he has gained incredible amount of weight that is going unmonitored by his mum or her family, in fact if anything obesity is natural in her family His dad is currently living with me, although his food and his time on electronic games is limited and controlled, we have the added problem of school bullying Has anyone sat down with your teenager and discussed any of his emotions with him " I do a lot of emotional support, in fact, the first practioner who signed them off said they were the most emotionally aware 10 yr old they'd come across. The difference being theory and practical application! There has been lots of emotional support, but we have still ended up with EBSA, and I know ND is underlying it. Masking is huge. I also think RSD and PDA are present. Parenting PDA is hard. So hard. | |||
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"I remember this being a regular thing a couple of years ago here and I found it useful when I was going through my stresses and anxieties to have that safe space. With stresses and anxieties back I'd like to create that space for others. So I will start, I've had a combination of stresses with work and my own health and have rolled from one thing to another over a few months, until i've had a meeting at work and tried to address them and i feel better for verbalising. "Nice thread, and sorry to hear life has been putting you through the ringer. Glad the you were able to make some headway at work. Fair play to you for opening up and sharing and I hope that things continue to improve. 👍 | |||
"I remember this being a regular thing a couple of years ago here and I found it useful when I was going through my stresses and anxieties to have that safe space. With stresses and anxieties back I'd like to create that space for others. So I will start, I've had a combination of stresses with work and my own health and have rolled from one thing to another over a few months, until i've had a meeting at work and tried to address them and i feel better for verbalising.
Nice thread, and sorry to hear life has been putting you through the ringer. Glad the you were able to make some headway at work. Fair play to you for opening up and sharing and I hope that things continue to improve. 👍"Thank you very much, appreciate that | |||
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"So important this is talked about more thank you for posting and best wishes with everything you are going through… My story.. Divorced over a year now and living on my own which was a huge struggle at first…I also lost my job and car as a result, so things were pretty dark but one day while I was simply sat somewhere (as you do!) someone randomly passed me a note…it simply read “The story ends well” Jeez that hit home…I still have the note on my table at my one bed flat I am still surviving in even though I hoped it would be only a tempsituation 13 months ago! I have walked locally every day bar a couple in those 13 months sometimes only an hour, sometimes 2 or 3… again someone recommended me to do it plus get some wireless headphones; so I did and have…I listen to music, audiobooks, podcasts, or just the radio and you don’t realise how far you walked! Although my feet do!! Thanks to the kindness of someone from fab (which I mentioned on another MH thread) i managed to get some decent new walking trainers and my steps have further increase! anyway, it has been a huge help for my mental health as well as physical with all the walking…still more weight to lose lol but I’m a terrible snacker which I need to stop, etc I’ve had some health issues, anxiety etc down to the divorce stress etc, then got 2, yes 2 frozen shoulders and a queried “non-alcoholic fatty liver disease” detected from the blood tests originally taken for the shoulders issue!! Hence why trying to lose some dadbod timber! I just need that new job now, then get a car or a small van and then get a better flat and place to live etc Always good to have goals and ideas! No matter what…keep going, don’t dwell or hide away, get out and about even when the weather is bad - keep yer head up and remember that note I got “the story ends well!”" the pain will ease eventually, with me it was probably 5 or 6 years before I'd stopped thinking about her and once you realise it going forward is so much easier. | |||
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"Dose anyone else think that they are not good looking enough " I know its tough mate, but don't get in that head space as its really not healthy. It takes time to find the right people. We all have moments where we don't feel desired....its even harder to swallow when your partner gets lots of attention in comparison. I have times where I have to log out of fab and focus on my own self worth. Then when I'm good, I will log back in. I've had a particular rough patch this last couple of months. I stil am struggling....but i take it one day at a time. My approach is very different now. I rarely send messages, I have to feel that I'm a good potential match to do it, and have reasons I can show to back it up. Keep chatting on the forum, get your name seen. God luck.  | |||
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"Anxiety off the charts just now. Too much going on. " Have you spoken to your GP about this? You can get help, I'm on anti anxiety meds that help me feel more under control. | |||
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"Dose anyone else think that they are not good looking enough " Always Hate my body, real negative confidence in finding any women sadly Trying my best! | |||
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"Dose anyone else think that they are not good looking enough Always Hate my body, real negative confidence in finding any women sadly Trying my best! " I certainly experience this a lot, but I imagine most people do too. We see ourselves every day, every imperfection that we just wish we could improve, the 1%'s if you will 
It's only natural to have these thoughts, but it's also a good job that we are not all attracted to the same things and people, we are all different! | |||
"Dose anyone else think that they are not good looking enough Always Hate my body, real negative confidence in finding any women sadly Trying my best! I certainly experience this a lot, but I imagine most people do too. We see ourselves every day, every imperfection that we just wish we could improve, the 1%'s if you will
It's only natural to have these thoughts, but it's also a good job that we are not all attracted to the same things and people, we are all different!"So true there’s a peg for every hole so they say!!! | |||
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"Well done my friend for starting this thread, you are awesome and I commend you for looking out for others too. Well done to you for all opening up and offering support to each other. Men’s mental health should be spoken about more and I hope this post has helped you feel a little bit more supported on here. Xx" Thank you xx | |||
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"I find my own mental health weird. Its more down than up, but when it’s up I feel on top of the world. Trapped in a life you never expected. So many nights I go to bed not wanting to wake up, but then you have others relying on you and you just know you can’t leave. Yet. " That last bit is what keeps me going | |||
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"Overall, mentally I'm okay. The feeling of anxiety and pre-grief for my dog is building though. Over the next couple of days (potentially tomorrow) I'm going to have to say goodbye to my best friend of 12 years, and I'm not entirely ready for it even though I know it's for the best." Certainly the loss of a beloved pet can be difficult. Best wishes to you. | |||
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"I used to help run a local mens mental health talking group and I'm also doing a depression counselor course if anyone needs to talk 🙂" I think it's great what you've done with this and are doing. We are often far more resilient than we give ourselves credit for and everyone needs that support sometimes, and in my case, I don't always see those stresses creeping up. | |||
"It all sounds like things are moving in the right direction for you Op. "Still up and down a bit in truth but getting there gradually I guess | |||
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"Bumping this up... Had a great weekend..now feeling a bit up and down again, my neuropathy in my feet is driving me mad and I woke up at daft o'clock for the first time in a few days." I'm suffering a bout of neuropathy right now, even in the foot I lost not slept since Saturday as when I get it it lasts at least 48hrs. I've had it on/off for decades now but nothing they can really do... I know your pain. | |||
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"As an Army veteran and servers 22 years and seen alot of things I'm thankful that I am stable in the mind. " Often I feel guilty feeling the way I do when I know others have had tougher lives and more reason to feel down | |||
"As an Army veteran and servers 22 years and seen alot of things I'm thankful that I am stable in the mind. Often I feel guilty feeling the way I do when I know others have had tougher lives and more reason to feel down " To be fair, I am a little bit like this. Others do have it a lot worse than me, but I am feeling more vulnerable these days. Thanks to everyone that's commented again. It means a lot. I'm taking steps to address it, reducing my hours at work for a period starting next week and wanting to get my diabetes sorted. Work have been really good so far and I've filled a referral in for Talking Therapies so just waiting on that now. I can see light and I've not lost interest in what I enjoy. Yes there have been intrisive thoughts but not saying for me to do anything. I just keep having these up and down days and some mornings the negative comes through more, if that makes sense.. | |||
"Bumping this up... Had a great weekend..now feeling a bit up and down again, my neuropathy in my feet is driving me mad and I woke up at daft o'clock for the first time in a few days. I'm suffering a bout of neuropathy right now, even in the foot I lost not slept since Saturday as when I get it it lasts at least 48hrs. I've had it on/off for decades now but nothing they can really do... I know your pain." Thanks for this, I'm at the start of the neuropathy journey and its more discomfort and livewire tingles than pain at the moment thankfully but I do feel that it's contributing. | |||
"Talking always helps if you’re down please talk or ask for help xx" Thank you Suzy, just got to give myself permission to have these up and down days. Have asked for help and work have said if I need to I can take myself away, go for a walk, talk or do what I need to do. | |||
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"To those who have feelings of guilt because you feel others have it worse - your feelings are valid, it isn’t a competition and you absolutely shouldn’t feel bad. Self-compassion plays a huge part in making you feel better; we all deserve to be kind to ourselves 💕 Sending love to anybody who needs it x" Thank you Cherry, very much appreciated and it's a good point that you make | |||
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"Bump... So an up and down week so far, and if I'm marking out of 10... Sunday 8 Monday 9 Tuesday 6 Wednesday 5 Hoping for a better last couple of days for the work week and then it's a long weekend." Thursday 7 Friday 4 Saturday 8 Sunday (so far) 7 | |||
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"Bump... So an up and down week so far, and if I'm marking out of 10... Sunday 8 Monday 9 Tuesday 6 Wednesday 5 Hoping for a better last couple of days for the work week and then it's a long weekend. Thursday 7 Friday 4 Saturday 8 Sunday (so far) 7" Sorry that yours was crashing of Friday but glad that it has returned to a better place. | |||
"Bump... So an up and down week so far, and if I'm marking out of 10... Sunday 8 Monday 9 Tuesday 6 Wednesday 5 Hoping for a better last couple of days for the work week and then it's a long weekend. Thursday 7 Friday 4 Saturday 8 Sunday (so far) 7 Sorry that yours was crashing of Friday but glad that it has returned to a better place." Thank you, with me its mainly workplace stress... i'm there to support people and wasn't feeling it on friday and took a dip.. thankfully sunshine helps i think | |||
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"I know that I need to be kinder to myself, and sometimes that inner voice turns ultra critical and drags me down" Hey you! Sorry to hear your week dipped, but glad today isn’t too bad so far 💕 Look up ‘Louise Hay thought filing’ in relation to your thoughts about yourself x | |||
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"No,, im in the depths of depression Anxiety is through the roof Fuckin fed up Can’t get past it " Sorry to hear this, have you talked it over with anyone? Doesn't always address all the issues but certainly helps make sense of them. | |||
"I know that I need to be kinder to myself, and sometimes that inner voice turns ultra critical and drags me down Hey you! Sorry to hear your week dipped, but glad today isn’t too bad so far 💕 Look up ‘Louise Hay thought filing’ in relation to your thoughts about yourself x" Thanks for this, some interesting stuff from her. I know its not a sprint, and there are good days and bad and to be fair thats alright. Again work have been pretty good about it. Were asking about how i was finding the mondays. | |||
"Mine is pretty good today, mostly because of a really long, tiring but incredibly positive day yesterday. The end of last week though it was through the floor which was entirely reactive to news that was bound to put trans people back in the front line of media interest, that is inevitably going to be mostly hostile and degrading." I hope you are okay... im not likimg this political climate which is being revved up for very selfish reasons by some. Old tricks and views that IMO should be left in the past. We have moved on in so many ways.. or so I thought anyway! | |||
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"Anyone having an hard time it's best to speak to someone or seek online help from Samaritans or Andy's man's club. Happy to chat to anyone needing support" Yes to this. My GP has been helpful too and I now have an appointment with Talking Therapies. | |||
"Have had/am having far more than my fair share of issues but also have very broad shoulders. So if ANYONE wants a chat about the weather, what brand of coffee is best, how long to dunk a rich tea biscuit etc I'm always available " Great sentiment and thank you for joining in. This was a reason for bringing these threads back. Initially I wasn't in a good place to reply and this shows progress for me... | |||
"Feeling kind of isolated. Someone bought me a gift experience for my birthday and I realised I haven't got any friends to go with. " Sorry to read this. Reach out to others mate. | |||
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"I was put on leave over a week ago, by the doc. Luckily Ive had family keeping a eye on me. Must say the weather has helped this week. " Weather is a massive factor! I was sent home from work a few weeks ago - keep well
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"Pretty good tbh. I got to see some family and some very old school friends (including an awkward interaction with an ex girlfriend) at Wembley on Saturday. Don’t let the football ruin a good day at the football as my dad used to say!" Haha so true, sounds like some interesting times! | |||
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"This last week has been hard,a real struggle at times,and tears haven't been far away but Tomorrow is another day" I keep saying this to myself... the heat and lack of sleep is making me more emotional. It dips, it comes back, it dips again, it comes back | |||
"I found Hub of Hope to be quite useful: https://hubofhope.co.uk/ We are the UK’s largest mental health support directory. Whether you want to find a service to help you feel better or you want to support someone who is struggling, we can help." Thank you for this. | |||
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"I'm doing alright, I'm relocating to be use to family and I feel a little weird about it. I love them and I'm very excited to be close to them again. I've also been on my own for a very long time without them around and it's going to be strange being thrust into the mix of them all again. I guess I've become a little reclusive haha. " It's a big move and hopefully made easier by being close to family. I'm sure if it wasn't for my job and being able to read the forums I'd be living the life of a hermit with slightly less facial hair! | |||
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"Have had/am having far more than my fair share of issues but also have very broad shoulders. So if ANYONE wants a chat about the weather, what brand of coffee is best, how long to dunk a rich tea biscuit etc I'm always available Great sentiment and thank you for joining in. This was a reason for bringing these threads back. Initially I wasn't in a good place to reply and this shows progress for me... " In all honesty, I've not been in a good place for a good while, trying to keep positive though | |||
"Have had/am having far more than my fair share of issues but also have very broad shoulders. So if ANYONE wants a chat about the weather, what brand of coffee is best, how long to dunk a rich tea biscuit etc I'm always available Great sentiment and thank you for joining in. This was a reason for bringing these threads back. Initially I wasn't in a good place to reply and this shows progress for me... In all honesty, I've not been in a good place for a good while, trying to keep positive though "You've got this | |||
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"I rarely go outside because of my anxiety and today I spent 30 minutes in the garden which is a big thing for me" That's brilliant x | |||
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"Not great to be honest OP grief is crippling me it always seems to be at my shoulder,like most people il lost loved ones over the years,but this loss is still so very hard to bare" Sorry to hear you are going through a hard time x. Grief just emerges.. i always tend to disapoear for a few days after christmas for this very reason, and dont really emerge until mid january x sending my best wishes x | |||
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"Absolutely shit at the moment. On the verge of a major breakdown 😢" Have you got someone to chat things through with? X | |||
"This is a good thread (by that I mean supportive and thoughtful). I hope everyone's situations improve. Take care all x" Thats what i wanted it to be, a supportive safe space. Im still up and down at the moment but seem to have reached a new meh middle ground over the last coupke of weeks.. Feeling meh is a definite improvement! | |||
"Not great to be honest OP grief is crippling me it always seems to be at my shoulder,like most people il lost loved ones over the years,but this loss is still so very hard to bare" Grief is a fucked that’s for sure, I keep thinking it’s because I loved them so much. I’m sure you’ve read all the things write feelings, down, don’t hold the emotions or tears in, read or follow people on different social media that might help you in your process and it’s never a straight line, and can sneak back up and whack you in face when you least expect it , most importantly be kind to yourself | |||
"Absolutely shit at the moment. On the verge of a major breakdown 😢" I’m so sorry that things are hard for you, please find someone to talk to friend, work colleagues, samaritans, xx | |||
"Absolutely shit at the moment. On the verge of a major breakdown 😢 Have you got someone to chat things through with? X" I have x | |||
"Absolutely shit at the moment. On the verge of a major breakdown 😢 I’m so sorry that things are hard for you, please find someone to talk to friend, work colleagues, samaritans, xx" I have someone to talk too, I just need to get a perspective on things and get my head straight first before burdening them x | |||
"Absolutely shit at the moment. On the verge of a major breakdown 😢 I’m so sorry that things are hard for you, please find someone to talk to friend, work colleagues, samaritans, xx I have someone to talk too, I just need to get a perspective on things and get my head straight first before burdening them x" I'm glad you have that support, your issues are not a burden. | |||
"Not great to be honest OP grief is crippling me it always seems to be at my shoulder,like most people il lost loved ones over the years,but this loss is still so very hard to bare Grief is a fucked that’s for sure, I keep thinking it’s because I loved them so much. I’m sure you’ve read all the things write feelings, down, don’t hold the emotions or tears in, read or follow people on different social media that might help you in your process and it’s never a straight line, and can sneak back up and whack you in face when you least expect it , most importantly be kind to yourself " Thank you so much for joining in. I've taken to writing some poetry and wrote this a few weeks ago about the grief I feel about my brother. I hope you all don't mind me sharing.. "My mind tries to play tricks, thinks it's a game to pull me down and call me lame Taking me back to a different time and space, Getting on for six years and nothing can replace A brother taken from us so young Boy, how we were all stung At the time I was going out and working Trying to live my life right, but it was right there lurking Hiding in the shadows, what lies round the corner? Making lives a misery whether native or foreigner Struck down like so many others So many people, grieving mothers Fathers with no explanation Why such a terrible illness was sweeping through the nation Was it me, was it my fault? My mind being cruel, Oh I wish it would halt It tries to convince me, that I passed it on I coughed, I spluttered Everyone was ill, within days brother gone My mind it plays the blame game Cruel thoughts I try to tame Every so often they come into the open And tears stream down my cheeks like winter rain, a cruel token That grieving deep inside, it never leaves me While that cruel mind tries to deceive me Tells me I'm to blame, no don't let it Shout back with anger, don't shoulder it, just forget it I remember Haydock Park testing in the car Feeling crap, they travelled near and far Back home it was, when the email came through Stay still don't go out, nothing you can do But it was rampant, unleashed and untamed Ripped through the family, on me, my mind framed A sickness that ravaged and ran, a takeover Breathing so hard, I thought I was over Unable to sleep, the room all swirling Total exhaustion, my mind was whirling I coughed, coughed and spluttered some more Barricaded myself behind my door But the germs from inside they got through Penetrated others, what was I to do? Don't listen to the voice of guilt and dread Dragging you down, messing with your head You only tried to live your life right And you were given a terrible fright You lost your brother There can't be another Don't let your mind take the fall Show anger back, don't accept the call It was the time, it was circumstance A cruel illness that did advance Never look into that cruel flame Don't even shoulder even some of that blame It was history leave it there Don't let it surface and if it does you must share." | |||
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"Absolutely shit at the moment. On the verge of a major breakdown 😢" Sending hugs x | |||
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"Absolutely shit at the moment. On the verge of a major breakdown 😢" I'm so sorry your going through this,life can be so hard 🫂 | |||
"Not great to be honest OP grief is crippling me it always seems to be at my shoulder,like most people il lost loved ones over the years,but this loss is still so very hard to bare Grief is a fucked that’s for sure, I keep thinking it’s because I loved them so much. I’m sure you’ve read all the things write feelings, down, don’t hold the emotions or tears in, read or follow people on different social media that might help you in your process and it’s never a straight line, and can sneak back up and whack you in face when you least expect it , most importantly be kind to yourself Thank you so much for joining in. I've taken to writing some poetry and wrote this a few weeks ago about the grief I feel about my brother. I hope you all don't mind me sharing.. "My mind tries to play tricks, thinks it's a game to pull me down and call me lame Taking me back to a different time and space, Getting on for six years and nothing can replace A brother taken from us so young Boy, how we were all stung At the time I was going out and working Trying to live my life right, but it was right there lurking Hiding in the shadows, what lies round the corner? Making lives a misery whether native or foreigner Struck down like so many others So many people, grieving mothers Fathers with no explanation Why such a terrible illness was sweeping through the nation Was it me, was it my fault? My mind being cruel, Oh I wish it would halt It tries to convince me, that I passed it on I coughed, I spluttered Everyone was ill, within days brother gone My mind it plays the blame game Cruel thoughts I try to tame Every so often they come into the open And tears stream down my cheeks like winter rain, a cruel token That grieving deep inside, it never leaves me While that cruel mind tries to deceive me Tells me I'm to blame, no don't let it Shout back with anger, don't shoulder it, just forget it I remember Haydock Park testing in the car Feeling crap, they travelled near and far Back home it was, when the email came through Stay still don't go out, nothing you can do But it was rampant, unleashed and untamed Ripped through the family, on me, my mind framed A sickness that ravaged and ran, a takeover Breathing so hard, I thought I was over Unable to sleep, the room all swirling Total exhaustion, my mind was whirling I coughed, coughed and spluttered some more Barricaded myself behind my door But the germs from inside they got through Penetrated others, what was I to do? Don't listen to the voice of guilt and dread Dragging you down, messing with your head You only tried to live your life right And you were given a terrible fright You lost your brother There can't be another Don't let your mind take the fall Show anger back, don't accept the call It was the time, it was circumstance A cruel illness that did advance Never look into that cruel flame Don't even shoulder even some of that blame It was history leave it there Don't let it surface and if it does you must share." " 💔 | |||
"Not great to be honest OP grief is crippling me it always seems to be at my shoulder,like most people il lost loved ones over the years,but this loss is still so very hard to bare Grief is a fucked that’s for sure, I keep thinking it’s because I loved them so much. I’m sure you’ve read all the things write feelings, down, don’t hold the emotions or tears in, read or follow people on different social media that might help you in your process and it’s never a straight line, and can sneak back up and whack you in face when you least expect it , most importantly be kind to yourself Thank you so much for joining in. I've taken to writing some poetry and wrote this a few weeks ago about the grief I feel about my brother. I hope you all don't mind me sharing.. "My mind tries to play tricks, thinks it's a game to pull me down and call me lame Taking me back to a different time and space, Getting on for six years and nothing can replace A brother taken from us so young Boy, how we were all stung At the time I was going out and working Trying to live my life right, but it was right there lurking Hiding in the shadows, what lies round the corner? Making lives a misery whether native or foreigner Struck down like so many others So many people, grieving mothers Fathers with no explanation Why such a terrible illness was sweeping through the nation Was it me, was it my fault? My mind being cruel, Oh I wish it would halt It tries to convince me, that I passed it on I coughed, I spluttered Everyone was ill, within days brother gone My mind it plays the blame game Cruel thoughts I try to tame Every so often they come into the open And tears stream down my cheeks like winter rain, a cruel token That grieving deep inside, it never leaves me While that cruel mind tries to deceive me Tells me I'm to blame, no don't let it Shout back with anger, don't shoulder it, just forget it I remember Haydock Park testing in the car Feeling crap, they travelled near and far Back home it was, when the email came through Stay still don't go out, nothing you can do But it was rampant, unleashed and untamed Ripped through the family, on me, my mind framed A sickness that ravaged and ran, a takeover Breathing so hard, I thought I was over Unable to sleep, the room all swirling Total exhaustion, my mind was whirling I coughed, coughed and spluttered some more Barricaded myself behind my door But the germs from inside they got through Penetrated others, what was I to do? Don't listen to the voice of guilt and dread Dragging you down, messing with your head You only tried to live your life right And you were given a terrible fright You lost your brother There can't be another Don't let your mind take the fall Show anger back, don't accept the call It was the time, it was circumstance A cruel illness that did advance Never look into that cruel flame Don't even shoulder even some of that blame It was history leave it there Don't let it surface and if it does you must share." 💔" Thank you x I've taken to writing quite a bit during these times. It helped me before as well. | |||
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"I'm ok...a bit stressed and overwhelmed with things I have to do and not knowing where to start. I get overwhelmed so easily!!" Can you break down what you need to do into much smaller chunks? I'm trying to do this myself at work. | |||
"Have had/am having far more than my fair share of issues but also have very broad shoulders. So if ANYONE wants a chat about the weather, what brand of coffee is best, how long to dunk a rich tea biscuit etc I'm always available Great sentiment and thank you for joining in. This was a reason for bringing these threads back. Initially I wasn't in a good place to reply and this shows progress for me... In all honesty, I've not been in a good place for a good while, trying to keep positive though
You've got this "Thank you, pretty sure I can see a very dim light in the distance in the tunnel | |||
"Have had/am having far more than my fair share of issues but also have very broad shoulders. So if ANYONE wants a chat about the weather, what brand of coffee is best, how long to dunk a rich tea biscuit etc I'm always available Great sentiment and thank you for joining in. This was a reason for bringing these threads back. Initially I wasn't in a good place to reply and this shows progress for me... In all honesty, I've not been in a good place for a good while, trying to keep positive though
You've got this
Thank you, pretty sure I can see a very dim light in the distance in the tunnel "I see that light too.. some days more clearly than others admittedly. | |||
"Have had/am having far more than my fair share of issues but also have very broad shoulders. So if ANYONE wants a chat about the weather, what brand of coffee is best, how long to dunk a rich tea biscuit etc I'm always available Great sentiment and thank you for joining in. This was a reason for bringing these threads back. Initially I wasn't in a good place to reply and this shows progress for me... In all honesty, I've not been in a good place for a good while, trying to keep positive though
You've got this
Thank you, pretty sure I can see a very dim light in the distance in the tunnel
I see that light too.. some days more clearly than others admittedly."Its not very bright, but im sure its there | |||
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