FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you care what people think of you?
Do you care what people think of you?
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Well, do you? And I mean really, genuinely, not just your stoic response for internet fora. I’m talking about all walks of life, not just fab - family, friends, colleagues and randoms.
I used to believe I didn’t care what people thought of me, that I had this personal toughness - it was all water off a duck’s back - but I now realise I really do care. Not to the extent where I need continual ego-massaging and affirmation, just that it bothers me if I upset/offend someone I like. If I believe I have, I reflect on it intensively for hours, sometimes days or weeks. And if I discover someone I like doesn’t like me because of something I said or did, or how I am, it hurts. I’ll try to address it but I’m not good at confronting this stuff. Are you? Do you? Do you care?
Open up and tell us about you 😊 |
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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago
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I don't actually. It depends on the context but anyone who truly knows me, of course their opinion matters and if I ever did anything to unintentionally jeopardise those relationships, then absolutely I would care enough to fix it.
If it's a stranger thats based an opinion without actually knowing who I am, that's their business not mine. Im old enough to know who I am and know im a good person so I don't need people to validate that. Every person in the world has a different opinion of who you are but only you get to see the true meaning inside and out. |
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Yep, I do. Like you, I don't need constant affirmation, and don't need everyone to like me (or even try for that), but I try to make sure my actions demonstrate that I am a decent human being.
This thread will be full of people saying they "don't give a fuck", but if we all acted like we were the centre of the universe without any care for the feelings of others the world would be a terrible place. |
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Yes I do. Sometimes intensely. It’s a convenient lie to myself to say no I don’t care etc but the fact is we know ourselves through how we are reflected back to us by others. We aren’t introspective beings pondering our sins and flaws. It doesn’t mean I need constant validation from others (though we all want that or why would we be on here, with our hopefully attractive pictures); but it does mean i look quite closely at whether I enrich or diminish others (and thereby, myself).
Yes, it matters. |
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It's context related.
I don't want people I don't know to think I'm a dickhead, I like to be thought of as a decent human being.
I absolutely care what people I love/like think of me.
People I don't like I couldn't care less if they think I'm a total cunt. |
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In general no, I mean I wouldn’t ever do anything to embarrass my kids, but I live my life my way and if anyone has a negative opinion about anything I do, then that’s their problem.
No one has to deal with the consequences of my life choices, only me, it’s me who has to look at my reflection in the mirror and I simply refuse to be what I’m not to make others comfortable.
By the same token, I don’t have the right to any opinions about how others live their lives and I try to arc accordingly. |
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"Yes I do. Sometimes intensely. It’s a convenient lie to myself to say no I don’t care etc but the fact is we know ourselves through how we are reflected back to us by others. We aren’t introspective beings pondering our sins and flaws. It doesn’t mean I need constant validation from others (though we all want that or why would we be on here, with our hopefully attractive pictures); but it does mean i look quite closely at whether I enrich or diminish others (and thereby, myself).
Yes, it matters."
Thank you for so eloquently phrasing what I wanted to say! |
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Take us as we are. I think as i'v got older I don't really care what people think. Those that know us know what to expect and those that don't shouldn't judge until they do x
Same with being naked, we know we are not "fit" but now at an age we don't care what others think x |
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Yeah, but only about the right people. I've learned that most opinions aren't worth the mental energy, but the views of people who matter to me—people I respect, people I'm building something with—those actually inform how I think and act. It's not about ego or validation; it's about whether someone's perspective is worth integrating into my own thinking. That's the filter I use. |
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By *hemieMan 4 weeks ago
North Wales |
"It's context related.
I don't want people I don't know to think I'm a dickhead, I like to be thought of as a decent human being.
I absolutely care what people I love/like think of me.
People I don't like I couldn't care less if they think I'm a total cunt. "
This, I'm the same. I don't like to upset people, life's too short. But not arsed if I never see them again in my lifetime |
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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago
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To put it bluntly....I couldn't care less what people thought of me
I spent my teens...early 20s worrying what people thought,bullied at school for not fitting in
With age comes a realisation that you don't have to be what others think you should...you should be you |
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I care what people I care about think of me but as I've gotten older I spend less and less time thinking about what complete strangers think.
Even the opinion of casual acquaintances isn't important.
On fab I take exactly the same approach.
I like to be liked but I don't go out of my way to influence people and more often than not my forum comments go against the grain and for every person who admires that there will be a handful who would prefer if I just went away.
I often judge people on their forum comments alone so I can understand why others would do likewise with me and I'm ok with that because we don't really know each other. |
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"As sad as it is to admit and as hard as I try I desperately care what people think of me.
One day I wont, but that day is not today 😁 "
It’s not sad to admit! I think it’s brave to openly state that - you are how you are. |
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What Glow and Yolo said.
We are social creatures. We want to belong somewhere, even if that's just within a tiny group of two or three people. It's necessary to care to a degree in order not to be ostracised and isolated. |
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I chuckled to myself (Mr) finding this thread as it's something that Missy and I have discussed a lot lately for slightly different reasons.
She and I are what I guess could be described as "alternative" looking. We both dopamine dress, both have "different" hairstyles, both have a few visible piercings and I have a few tattoos. A few times this weeks alone people have made quite audible comments about the way we look, but especially aimed at Missy for some reason and mainly by young teens. The latest the other day, after we'd walked past was "What the fuck is that haircut all about". So, where I'm going with this is while we don't really care what others think about our chosen "look", it is NOT okay to throw out comments like that to someone you don't know, or know anything about. Nor should comments like that go unchallenged. It may sound extreme, but in these cases I politely go back and tell whoever it may be that how someone else looks is none of their business and it is not okay to cat call someone based on that opinion either. |
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"What Glow and Yolo said.
We are social creatures. We want to belong somewhere, even if that's just within a tiny group of two or three people. It's necessary to care to a degree in order not to be ostracised and isolated."
‘We want to belong somewhere.’
What a beautiful and succinct why to put it. |
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"What Glow and Yolo said.
We are social creatures. We want to belong somewhere, even if that's just within a tiny group of two or three people. It's necessary to care to a degree in order not to be ostracised and isolated.
‘We want to belong somewhere.’
What a beautiful and succinct why to put it. "
❤️ |
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I mean, I felt a little embarrassment when I fell over getting off the bus to work today and looked like a clumsy idiot, but not in the same league as I used to in terms of caring what strangers think.
It is nice to feel liked and well regarded, but it's not the end of the world if someone you don't care about thinks negatively about you 💜 |
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I am the same as you OP. I do care, and I am not comfortable within myself if I think I have offended someone, or given them a negative opinion of me.
And that wasnt always a good thing, yes, it means people think I am a nice person (because I am) but it also meant I was becoming too self-conscious, and ergo, too self-critical. So I am mellowing a lot more now. Not to the point of turning into someone offensive, but just moderating my own feelings a lot more. |
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"Well, do you? And I mean really, genuinely, not just your stoic response for internet fora. I’m talking about all walks of life, not just fab - family, friends, colleagues and randoms.
I used to believe I didn’t care what people thought of me, that I had this personal toughness - it was all water off a duck’s back - but I now realise I really do care. Not to the extent where I need continual ego-massaging and affirmation, just that it bothers me if I upset/offend someone I like. If I believe I have, I reflect on it intensively for hours, sometimes days or weeks. And if I discover someone I like doesn’t like me because of something I said or did, or how I am, it hurts. I’ll try to address it but I’m not good at confronting this stuff. Are you? Do you? Do you care?
Open up and tell us about you 😊"
Not in the slightest. Those that matter to me really know me. That’s all that is important.. |
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I think this is a very good question, the best way of describing how I feel would be to say that I like it when people like something about me and it makes me feel happy and better about myself, but when it’s clear someone doesn’t like something about me I don’t let it spoil my day or anything but I don’t really like that feeling, it makes me a bit sad and question myself, but usually end up telling myself that it’s only one person’s opinion |
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"Well, do you? And I mean really, genuinely, not just your stoic response for internet fora. I’m talking about all walks of life, not just fab - family, friends, colleagues and randoms.
I used to believe I didn’t care what people thought of me, that I had this personal toughness - it was all water off a duck’s back - but I now realise I really do care. Not to the extent where I need continual ego-massaging and affirmation, just that it bothers me if I upset/offend someone I like. If I believe I have, I reflect on it intensively for hours, sometimes days or weeks. And if I discover someone I like doesn’t like me because of something I said or did, or how I am, it hurts. I’ll try to address it but I’m not good at confronting this stuff. Are you? Do you? Do you care?
Open up and tell us about you 😊"
There is a time in your life where you do try to please everyone BUT a time does come at a certain " vintage " where you don't give a f**k about trying to please everyone or have people like you...what did Helen Mirren say when asked if there was anything she'd do or change in her life " l wish l learned to tell people to f**k off a lot sooner "..the ol saying " other people's opinions of you are not your business "...so to answer the question asked..no ...l don't care what others think. ..l try to be kind ,caring, understanding, helpful, courteous etc etc to others EVERYTIME & if thats not enough for them..they can go f**k themselves..l'm not living my life the way THEY think l should. |
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I used to. For most of my younger life I was always chasing the approval of others. As I grew older I developed mystlf. I love me. I am who I am. If people don't like what I do or say or act. That's a them problem .
Much love to you all  |
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By *olarMan 4 weeks ago
woking |
I would say that this has been an evolution as I have got older. My younger self was very conscious of people and their opinions of me and my abilities however as I have got older I’m far more happy in myself and as with many situations these days I appreciate an opinion is something that can freely be made but has no weight on the way I see things. My own opinion is mine others the same but it has no bearing I have a far better feeling in life not being worried about what other people think and this also applies to family members  |
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"What other people think of me is none of my business.
Truth is no one is actually thinking about you at all. People are too preoccupied thinking about their own shit.
"
A lot of what you say is true, but I do not agree entirely
I work all over the place and with basically the same people … a few outliers , but in different teams for different jobs. Based on specific systems and individual availability ..
and believe you me, not of the biggest topics when working away with a team of people is who has worked with certain individuals and what they were like, whether they were a complete pain in the arse and you never want to work with them again or whether they were great!
There is no getting away from it… you can keep your own mouth shut about stuff ( I generally do) but others will exchange opinions
And an absolute certainty, if you are not in a group. That group will be talking about you
I have to say. I do all that I can to ensure “that group” will be saying nice things about me .
It does bother me. Of course I have broad enough shoulders (unfortunately) to appreciate some people are just not going to be my best friend.. but hopefully even those will respect that I try my best to work hard and contribute to the best outcome for every job  |
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"I think this is a very good question, the best way of describing how I feel would be to say that I like it when people like something about me and it makes me feel happy and better about myself, but when it’s clear someone doesn’t like something about me I don’t let it spoil my day or anything but I don’t really like that feeling, it makes me a bit sad and question myself, but usually end up telling myself that it’s only one person’s opinion "
Just to add, just now, at the southbound Trowell services, a 68 year old chap in the gent congratulated me on my appearance and wished me a good day! (I’m on my way to play desertfest in Camden, I’m wearing flares and my long dreads are down) made my day! |
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"I think this is a very good question, the best way of describing how I feel would be to say that I like it when people like something about me and it makes me feel happy and better about myself, but when it’s clear someone doesn’t like something about me I don’t let it spoil my day or anything but I don’t really like that feeling, it makes me a bit sad and question myself, but usually end up telling myself that it’s only one person’s opinion
Just to add, just now, at the southbound Trowell services, a 68 year old chap in the gent congratulated me on my appearance and wished me a good day! (I’m on my way to play desertfest in Camden, I’m wearing flares and my long dreads are down) made my day! "
Bravo! What a nice feeling, huh. Was he looking at your face or your winkie? 😆 |
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"I think this is a very good question, the best way of describing how I feel would be to say that I like it when people like something about me and it makes me feel happy and better about myself, but when it’s clear someone doesn’t like something about me I don’t let it spoil my day or anything but I don’t really like that feeling, it makes me a bit sad and question myself, but usually end up telling myself that it’s only one person’s opinion
Just to add, just now, at the southbound Trowell services, a 68 year old chap in the gent congratulated me on my appearance and wished me a good day! (I’m on my way to play desertfest in Camden, I’m wearing flares and my long dreads are down) made my day! "
Sorry, but all I can take from this is how did you know the bloke in the gents was 68 years old? |
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"What other people think of me is none of my business.
Truth is no one is actually thinking about you at all. People are too preoccupied thinking about their own shit.
A lot of what you say is true, but I do not agree entirely
I work all over the place and with basically the same people … a few outliers , but in different teams for different jobs. Based on specific systems and individual availability ..
and believe you me, not of the biggest topics when working away with a team of people is who has worked with certain individuals and what they were like, whether they were a complete pain in the arse and you never want to work with them again or whether they were great!
There is no getting away from it… you can keep your own mouth shut about stuff ( I generally do) but others will exchange opinions
And an absolute certainty, if you are not in a group. That group will be talking about you
I have to say. I do all that I can to ensure “that group” will be saying nice things about me .
It does bother me. Of course I have broad enough shoulders (unfortunately) to appreciate some people are just not going to be my best friend.. but hopefully even those will respect that I try my best to work hard and contribute to the best outcome for every job "
I agree with you here, Linda. Obviously if I’m not in a group I can never hear what people think of me, but I would hate to eventually learn that every time I was discussed people would say “What a dick”  I know I shouldn’t care, but I do.
I’m not surprised most on here have shared their attitude of “Their opinion of me is none of my business”, and more power to you all - I wish I was able to be like that. It’s clearly a healthy way to preserve your sanity and happiness 😊 |
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I think this is a hard question for me because (this is going to make me sound really arrogant but) ...most people like me. I think I've subconsciously worked really hard to be the sort of person that people do like. I do get the odd person that really doesn't like me but on the whole I don't generally have to ask 'do other people like me?' But I think it's fair to say that I prefer to be thought of positively from other people. Whether that's friends, family, colleagues or whoever. It benefits me that people think positively of me. Does it overly bother me if people don't? It stings, sure. But it only upsets me when it's someone that I'd like to like me? |
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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago
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I don’t know if it’s caring what people think about me so much. But I want my actions to be noticed - not for praise but I want to leave the world behind me in a better place.
I want to be seen as a good role model.
It’s not a bad thing to be liked. But I don’t search for popularity with everyone.
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I don't give a flying fuck about what people think of me its only an opinion! A lot of my friends are feared of wat people think of them oh he said that n she said this about you its a load of bolloxs! The quicker people stop caring about what other people think of them the better there life's will be belive me |
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"I think this is a hard question for me because (this is going to make me sound really arrogant but) ...most people like me. I think I've subconsciously worked really hard to be the sort of person that people do like. I do get the odd person that really doesn't like me but on the whole I don't generally have to ask 'do other people like me?' But I think it's fair to say that I prefer to be thought of positively from other people. Whether that's friends, family, colleagues or whoever. It benefits me that people think positively of me. Does it overly bother me if people don't? It stings, sure. But it only upsets me when it's someone that I'd like to like me?"
I think there's a difference trying to be liked & and wanting to be liked versus caring what people think of you. It's pretty normal and healthy to care what people think of you, but that's very different from seeking approval. Or trying to be liked. |
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By *aked beachMan 4 weeks ago
Just A Stranger In A Strange Land. |
Not really, obviously I prefer if people like me, think well of me, but I’ve learnt over the years that you can’t control their thoughts and if they want to think ill of you then there is little you can do about it. Ultimately I don’t care much at all. |
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"I think this is a hard question for me because (this is going to make me sound really arrogant but) ...most people like me. I think I've subconsciously worked really hard to be the sort of person that people do like. I do get the odd person that really doesn't like me but on the whole I don't generally have to ask 'do other people like me?' But I think it's fair to say that I prefer to be thought of positively from other people. Whether that's friends, family, colleagues or whoever. It benefits me that people think positively of me. Does it overly bother me if people don't? It stings, sure. But it only upsets me when it's someone that I'd like to like me?"
That’s an interesting point, Em. Do you think your answer would have been different if I’d asked the question before you’d done all that work? (Curious what that was, btw 🙂) Does that translate as you really did care and felt that many didn’t, so you changed? |
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By *iver78Man 4 weeks ago
barton upon humber |
I don't care what people think of me , never had , and if people actually tell me I always wonder why ? For who's benefit is it
I have small friends group but a massive family , I don't need to be liked by everyone |
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By *ot_Rod43Man 4 weeks ago
newcastle upon tyne |
I don’t care one bit. I don’t go out my way to be nasty to people anything like. I want people to like me and get on with me. I’m too old to care what anybody thinks. I did used to care about it but now let them get on with it |
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That’s an interesting point, Em. Do you think your answer would have been different if I’d asked the question before you’d done all that work? (Curious what that was, btw 🙂) Does that translate as you really did care and felt that many didn’t, so you changed?"
I think it's been a response to life experiences, if I'm honest. Don't want to get into it too much on this thread but can do privately if you're interested. But I'd say the work has been work that's happened throughout my entire life. |
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I actually do care. I’m happy being known as the ‘nice’ one. I like being the one that people can come to if there is a problem. I’m very empathetic. It’s probably why I’m better at my job than some others. I’ve lived the past with my ‘disabilities’ and being misunderstood. I’ve conformed to fit a mould. I want people to like me enough so they know that they come to me if there is a problem. Having been there I want to help others. |
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"I think this is a very good question, the best way of describing how I feel would be to say that I like it when people like something about me and it makes me feel happy and better about myself, but when it’s clear someone doesn’t like something about me I don’t let it spoil my day or anything but I don’t really like that feeling, it makes me a bit sad and question myself, but usually end up telling myself that it’s only one person’s opinion
Just to add, just now, at the southbound Trowell services, a 68 year old chap in the gent congratulated me on my appearance and wished me a good day! (I’m on my way to play desertfest in Camden, I’m wearing flares and my long dreads are down) made my day!
Bravo! What a nice feeling, huh. Was he looking at your face or your winkie? 😆"
Ha! We had both finished our respective pisses, the conversation took place over by the wash basins |
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"I think this is a very good question, the best way of describing how I feel would be to say that I like it when people like something about me and it makes me feel happy and better about myself, but when it’s clear someone doesn’t like something about me I don’t let it spoil my day or anything but I don’t really like that feeling, it makes me a bit sad and question myself, but usually end up telling myself that it’s only one person’s opinion
Just to add, just now, at the southbound Trowell services, a 68 year old chap in the gent congratulated me on my appearance and wished me a good day! (I’m on my way to play desertfest in Camden, I’m wearing flares and my long dreads are down) made my day!
Sorry, but all I can take from this is how did you know the bloke in the gents was 68 years old?"
He told me his age, seeing I was younger, i think he liked my vibe, I’m a smiley northerner, everyone’s a friend until they aren’t |
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To be honest, outside of my immediate family I don’t really know that many people to be worried about their opinion of me.
I’m a nice enough gal though, so unless someone cuts me up in their car, I can’t think of many reasons they’d get moody with me.
I would be dissapointed if I liked someone and they didn’t like me, but we can’t be everyone’s cup of tea so 🤷🏻♀️ |
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"I think this is a very good question, the best way of describing how I feel would be to say that I like it when people like something about me and it makes me feel happy and better about myself, but when it’s clear someone doesn’t like something about me I don’t let it spoil my day or anything but I don’t really like that feeling, it makes me a bit sad and question myself, but usually end up telling myself that it’s only one person’s opinion
Just to add, just now, at the southbound Trowell services, a 68 year old chap in the gent congratulated me on my appearance and wished me a good day! (I’m on my way to play desertfest in Camden, I’m wearing flares and my long dreads are down) made my day!
Sorry, but all I can take from this is how did you know the bloke in the gents was 68 years old?
He told me his age, seeing I was younger, i think he liked my vibe, I’m a smiley northerner, everyone’s a friend until you get to London "
Fixed that for you |
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"I think this is a very good question, the best way of describing how I feel would be to say that I like it when people like something about me and it makes me feel happy and better about myself, but when it’s clear someone doesn’t like something about me I don’t let it spoil my day or anything but I don’t really like that feeling, it makes me a bit sad and question myself, but usually end up telling myself that it’s only one person’s opinion
Just to add, just now, at the southbound Trowell services, a 68 year old chap in the gent congratulated me on my appearance and wished me a good day! (I’m on my way to play desertfest in Camden, I’m wearing flares and my long dreads are down) made my day!
Sorry, but all I can take from this is how did you know the bloke in the gents was 68 years old?
He told me his age, seeing I was younger, i think he liked my vibe, I’m a smiley northerner, everyone’s a friend until they aren’t "
Thank you. Details matter 🙂 |
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"I think this is a very good question, the best way of describing how I feel would be to say that I like it when people like something about me and it makes me feel happy and better about myself, but when it’s clear someone doesn’t like something about me I don’t let it spoil my day or anything but I don’t really like that feeling, it makes me a bit sad and question myself, but usually end up telling myself that it’s only one person’s opinion
Just to add, just now, at the southbound Trowell services, a 68 year old chap in the gent congratulated me on my appearance and wished me a good day! (I’m on my way to play desertfest in Camden, I’m wearing flares and my long dreads are down) made my day!
Sorry, but all I can take from this is how did you know the bloke in the gents was 68 years old?
He told me his age, seeing I was younger, i think he liked my vibe, I’m a smiley northerner, everyone’s a friend until you get to London
Fixed that for you "
Ha ha! |
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I don't follow this notion of "I couldn't give a toss" or "I don't care what people think". I do indeed care what people think of me and how I come across, but this mostly applies to those I respect or hold in high regard, and those with whom I have a strong affinity to. My respect for them means that they are able to tell me what they think, and also have no qualms about me doing the same to them, constructively and not contemptuously. |
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By *Effy-Woman 4 weeks ago
Scotland |
"I don't follow this notion of "I couldn't give a toss" or "I don't care what people think". I do indeed care what people think of me and how I come across, but this mostly applies to those I respect or hold in high regard, and those with whom I have a strong affinity to. My respect for them means that they are able to tell me what they think, and also have no qualms about me doing the same to them, constructively and not contemptuously."
^ this is what I was going to say. |
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"I don't follow this notion of "I couldn't give a toss" or "I don't care what people think". I do indeed care what people think of me and how I come across, but this mostly applies to those I respect or hold in high regard, and those with whom I have a strong affinity to. My respect for them means that they are able to tell me what they think, and also have no qualms about me doing the same to them, constructively and not contemptuously."
This … totally true  |
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My parent, my siblings, my partner and maybe 3 or 4 people? Yes I care what they think.
The rest? No. And to put that into context it's not really that I don't care at all, more that I've learnt that convincing myself I don't care and not focusing or worrying about the views or thoughts about me of others has made my life significantly less stressful and tiring over the last three years.
It used to be a constant worry. It used to be a distraction from life (work and personal) that would have a negative impact on everything I did. It would pull focus from important things just to attempt to fit in, placate or please others, or simply to try and prevent any drama.
So now I just put the views of most in the fuck it bucket and concentrate my attention on those closest to me and most important to me. Trying to influence the thoughts and views of everyone is just too damn draining so now I just let them make up their own minds and if I don't agree, then see it as a them problem not a me problem. People will either like me or not. It is what it is. I'm long past trying to steer which direction they choose. 🤷♂️ |
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I do care what certain people think about me who I care for and respect but I’m also confident in my own skin. I like who I am (which I think is key) and if people don’t like me, that’s ok. I’ll never be to everyone’s taste. |
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"I do care what certain people think about me who I care for and respect but I’m also confident in my own skin. I like who I am (which I think is key) and if people don’t like me, that’s ok. I’ll never be to everyone’s taste. "
I like you a bit |
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I care about what the people I care about think of me. That’s family and a friend or two.
As for some random out in the world, I would generally prefer they didn’t think I was a complete arse but I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. |
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By *adyBugsWoman 4 weeks ago
not local even if it says I am |
I used to care but not anymore. I don’t control other people’s opinions or reactions to me. And I’m done with adapting myself to make others feel more comfortable, if you can’t accept me as myself then you probably should just walk by.
In fact I recently had a friendship break up because I no longer fitted the persons image of who I should be. |
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For me its kind of linked to ones social requirements
We all need some, Some people need more than others. I think the bigger the social circle the more one will care, they may even mould their character somewhat to fit in.
I don't need much social interaction. So I care, but just a tiny bit 🤏🏻 |
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I want to be liked. I second think interactions for ages.
I ask friends who have been my friend for years if I was annoying on a night out and if everyone still loves me.
That comes with anxiety and ADHD. The RSD is strong in this one.
However it won’t ever be at the expense of being truthful - I will still call those out who are being twats.
Mrs. |
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"I want to be liked. I second think interactions for ages.
I ask friends who have been my friend for years if I was annoying on a night out and if everyone still loves me.
That comes with anxiety and ADHD. The RSD is strong in this one.
However it won’t ever be at the expense of being truthful - I will still call those out who are being twats.
Mrs."
I strongly suspect I have RSD as well, although not even close to being diagnosed so I may just be looking for things that aren’t there. Still, the traits as I understand them are very much present. |
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In a way yes. I don't like upsetting people unnecessarily so I do care that I come across as a fair person. People that get easily offended though can fuck off. As can people who think you need to be kind to everyone. I care what the important people in my life think and I also hope I don't come across as a cunt to those I don't know. But I'm not a people pleaser. I won't lie to gain friendships/ adoration but I will do to stop unnecessary pain. I'm a mixed bag. |
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By *idssissyTV/TS 4 weeks ago
Nr cricket ground birm |
Probably do and have most of my life and often I assume the worst or wonder why friends stay friends as don't understand what I bring to the friendship
Also have stopped myself from exploring or trying things as worried what others may think
Esp with my mh I worry people think I'm faking it as its invisible to most |
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By *eelaTV/TS 4 weeks ago
Waltham cross |
I may have said wrong. My feelings of others count. But I'll never be than the angry John heath. To them. I've lost so many friends . Ill never be afraid again. Those who know me will still be able to ask me for help. It's not a thing being a crossdresser. I dare any person to say i don't love my mates. We r we |
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By *ewMan2026Man 4 weeks ago
Chester and Liverpool |
It ebbs and flows. In some ways I’m very comfortable in my skin- know who I am and what my interests and morals are.
Sometimes self esteem takes a hit and I worry. I think as I get older I care less |
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"I do care, yes..BUT, I'm a nice person, so if someone had any negative thoughts about me, it would say more about them than it would me, and in that instance, I couldn't give a fuck. "
Soooo.in other words u dont give a fuck |
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"I do care, yes..BUT, I'm a nice person, so if someone had any negative thoughts about me, it would say more about them than it would me, and in that instance, I couldn't give a fuck. "
Projection is so real.
"People often hate others for things that are absent in their own lives" |
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By *hocstickMan 4 weeks ago
A log cabin, far far away |
I used to care what people thought of me, a lot. It used to be at the forefront of my mind all the time to the point I'd stop doing something or I'd refrain from saying something depending on who was present. Some of it was a lack of confidence. Then I decided enough was enough, if people don't like me for who I am, then tough. All of a sudden I found that the people who stuck around were there because I was almost a "yes man" who was feeding thier egos and not really using my voice. I was mingling in new circles, people liked me for me, I became so much more sociable, I started doing the things I wanted to do without thinking or caring about what others would say. Life is sooooo much better not caring what others think. I've found that those people are stuck in time and caring what they think will only do the same to me. |
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"Sometimes yes. Most of the time no.
It's more when people who don't know me or barely know me make assumptions that are very wrong and stick to their guns. "
Having said that, it's worse when people who do know me make wrong assumptions. They just get something in their head and roll with it and nothing I say or do will change it |
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"Well, do you? And I mean really, genuinely, not just your stoic response for internet fora. I’m talking about all walks of life, not just fab - family, friends, colleagues and randoms.
I used to believe I didn’t care what people thought of me, that I had this personal toughness - it was all water off a duck’s back - but I now realise I really do care. Not to the extent where I need continual ego-massaging and affirmation, just that it bothers me if I upset/offend someone I like. If I believe I have, I reflect on it intensively for hours, sometimes days or weeks. And if I discover someone I like doesn’t like me because of something I said or did, or how I am, it hurts. I’ll try to address it but I’m not good at confronting this stuff. Are you? Do you? Do you care?
Open up and tell us about you 😊"
Family, loved ones,close friends and long term work colleagues.
The answer would be yes, I do care. For them not to think well of me would mean I had done them a disservice in some way and that would hurt as I'm a loyal person.
Someone outside that circle, don't really care as they don't enter my radar long term.
I don't overthink stuff as I haven't the time or inclination.
Don't roll in drama, grief or angst.
Tend not to stress over stuff I have no control over and concentrate on the things and people I can influence and help.
If that makes any sense.
If not, tough.
Get my drift. 🤣🤣🤣
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I really couldn't give two fucks, I'm a good person, I've also been in positions where I've had to be in control of things and delicate, that can rub people up the wrong way, not everyone is going to like everyone unfortunately.
If you don't like me its not my problem and out of my control
Mr 🐺 |
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"Yep, I do. Like you, I don't need constant affirmation, and don't need everyone to like me (or even try for that), but I try to make sure my actions demonstrate that I am a decent human being.
This thread will be full of people saying they "don't give a fuck", but if we all acted like we were the centre of the universe without any care for the feelings of others the world would be a terrible place."
This ⬆️ |
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Worrying what other people thought held me back so much in my teens, 20's & early 30's
No longer
It's nice to be liked
I like to be liked
On the other hand, I can't be everyones cuppa, just as others will seldom be mine |
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Do I care? Deep down not really though I way I come across is important. I hope that makes some sense?!
There is a quote I live by which says no one is coming to save you which I take to basically mean what I achieve in this life is the consequences of the actions that I take. Though I saw the end of this quote today, no one is coming to save you and no one is coming to stop you either |
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I care enough to not want to upset people. I’d rather be kind to everyone, but I’m much more self aware now, and try not to offend (quite difficult when I have no filter) but I try to think before I speak.
But I cut people off at the drop of a hat now, I don’t give second chances. Once you’ve hurt me/annoyed me/upset me, I walk away. I don’t care that much anymore |
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"Honestly? Yes! I care what people think of me and unfortunately I care too much 🤷🏼♀️ "
100%, I'm with you here. I spend a crazy amount of my time worrying about it too. I have ADHD and overthinking people's opinions on me is crippling. This lifestyle has been so great for my self-confidence though, and I'm trying to be a hell of a lot stronger and thicker skinned. Hubby is so good with this, and I've always wished to be much better at "not-giving-a-fuck" (or in this lifestyle, giving-a-good-fuck if the situation calls for it 😂) |
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"Yep, I do. Like you, I don't need constant affirmation, and don't need everyone to like me (or even try for that), but I try to make sure my actions demonstrate that I am a decent human being.
This thread will be full of people saying they "don't give a fuck", but if we all acted like we were the centre of the universe without any care for the feelings of others the world would be a terrible place."
I was going to say something similar but this pretty much encapsulated my thoughts as well. I always like making a good first impression and I like the idea of keeping people onside until I know whether we'd mesh well together |
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Good question, my instant response was no, but I saw a social media post earlier today and someone replied they were wary of all men, something I hear and feelba lot and can imagine why (from a male perspective .
That made me sad as a self proclaimed feminist. |
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"Honestly? Yes! I care what people think of me and unfortunately I care too much 🤷🏼♀️
100%, I'm with you here. I spend a crazy amount of my time worrying about it too. I have ADHD and overthinking people's opinions on me is crippling. This lifestyle has been so great for my self-confidence though, and I'm trying to be a hell of a lot stronger and thicker skinned. Hubby is so good with this, and I've always wished to be much better at "not-giving-a-fuck" (or in this lifestyle, giving-a-good-fuck if the situation calls for it 😂) "
This 👆🏼 👌🏼 |
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I give a lot of thought and care to others and so if my words or deeds upset someone, it does get to me.
I don't need validation, and certainly don't have a fleeting thought for the opinion of strangers.
I have no time for game playing. Straight and honest? - let's talk.
C |
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I'm trying to reduce this myself. I have always tried to be a people pleaser and because of my past have found "if people are happy they're not mad at me" to be a general thought process.
I'm trying to raise the level of trust I have in just general meets again at the moment but it can be hard when some people are just terrible and set me back. |
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Absolutely.
I care far too much!
But I guess the positives are it makes me a good man. Dress well. Smell good. Try to look after myself.
On the flip side, my anxiety over what people think of me and my lack of self esteem is quite crippling!
Well that's me opened up. Feel free to contact me to discuss further as its kind of therapy for me lol! Maybe I'll send a pic and you can tell me what you think. Good or bad and at least I'll know and be able to work on areas. |
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I care deeply what people think of me, I’m definitely a people pleaser. I’ll agree with anything, I don’t like to upset people and people to think I’m the bad guy. I’m so desperate for attention.
The mr |
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"I care deeply what people think of me, I’m definitely a people pleaser. I’ll agree with anything, I don’t like to upset people and people to think I’m the bad guy. I’m so desperate for attention.
The mr "
I think someome is telling porkie pies  |
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"I care deeply what people think of me, I’m definitely a people pleaser. I’ll agree with anything, I don’t like to upset people and people to think I’m the bad guy. I’m so desperate for attention.
The mr
I think someome is telling porkie pies "
Did someone say pork pies 👀👀🤤🤤
The mr |
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