FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Disheartening on here
Disheartening on here
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By *ceanEyes15 OP Man 3 weeks ago
Manchester/Bournemouth |
Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all. |
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"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all. "
Sorry OP but that is all basic stuff that we all should be doing anyway when sending messages.
100 messages a day ? Everyday?
Fab is a tough site at the best of times. If you are not enjoying your time here, maybe its time to take a step back |
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By *WB85Man 3 weeks ago
Staffordshire |
The harder you push for it to work, the less it seems to happen.
Cut back on messaging, unless you feel its a really good matched profile.
Be more active on the forum, get your name seen and give people a sample of your mindset without messaging.
I very rarely message someone new now.
Also without sounding harsh, lower your expectations. Don't expect a reply from anyone. Just treat fab as a place to socialise online.
I hope it works out for you OP. |
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By *iver78Man 3 weeks ago
barton upon humber |
"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all.
Sorry OP but that is all basic stuff that we all should be doing anyway when sending messages.
100 messages a day ? Everyday?
Fab is a tough site at the best of times. If you are not enjoying your time here, maybe its time to take a step back"
This
It isent worth you suffering g mentally , this site can be very frustrating at times , I class it as a hobby and never take it personally,
Try badoo or tinder and just be honest as to what your looking for , I aways get more replys of them sites ,
Chin up mate  |
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By *CExeCouple 3 weeks ago
Hong-Kong/Exeter |
You're better off finding a partner elsewhere who's open minded and then trying as a couple.
Your profile states you'll only play with women, or couples in a cuck dynamic. That cuts out an awful lot of couples for a start. When it comes to single women on Fab, you're up against it.
Keep an eye on the meets, chat in the forums and the cams and get along to some local socials or a club. |
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"You're better off finding a partner elsewhere who's open minded and then trying as a couple.
Your profile states you'll only play with women, or couples in a cuck dynamic. That cuts out an awful lot of couples for a start. When it comes to single women on Fab, you're up against it.
Keep an eye on the meets, chat in the forums and the cams and get along to some local socials or a club. "
This. Don't take it seriously at all. |
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Can I give you some advice?
I'd remove the photos of other women from your profile. Most women don't like seeing "action shots" or photos of other women on single men's profiles. They are definitely for the male gaze. Seeing your cum plastered allover a stranger would do absolutely nothing for me.
Women like to see photos of you that aren't genitals, fully clothed is fine and doesn't need to be your face.
Your meet verification implies that you met her without even knowing what she looks like. It makes it sound like you aren't very discerning or don't care about who you are meeting. Many women will find that off putting. We don't like being seen as a hole and nothing more.
Just some advice from a single woman, but feel free to ignore 👋 |
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This is just for me not others but i would be put off by the veri that says you met her without knowing what she looked like. Makes me feel like as long as ya bodys alright any thing will do. Also the action shots wouldnt do it for me.
But lots of ladies might not mind just depends what your target audience is i suppose. |
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This isn’t a guaranteed sex site, it’s a you might get lucky and meet someone for sex, site.
You need to re-frame the way you look at it.
It’s not personal, it’s just a numbers game. There are far more women on here than men and far more of the women are not really bothered about meeting for sex, than the men.
Attending local clubs, social events, and just taking a more laidback approach will get you further than sending out loads of messages to people who might just be on here for nosiness, social reasons or just to chat.
It’s not a reflection on you, who you are, what you chat about or anything like that (probably), it’s just one of those things. So don’t stress it, and if it does get to you then maybe have a break.
If it seems like everyone else except you is getting sex, I’d take that with a pinch of salt - there are a lot of gobshites on here. And I say that with affection.
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By *ceanEyes15 OP Man 3 weeks ago
Manchester/Bournemouth |
But the veri is positive so that shows that meeting me is a good not bad thing. Of a woman sees another woman write something so positive surely that says this guy is good to meet. If the connection is good why not meet then if don’t like how look can just respectfully leave or say not for eachother. Regarding the set up well I’m straight so couples of course I wouldn’t really want to sexually interact with the man side. As for the photos I don’t want to show face but I see the points of the body etc so I’ll change that- thanks so much btw . |
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By *Effy-Woman 3 weeks ago
Scotland |
"But the veri is positive so that shows that meeting me is a good not bad thing. Of a woman sees another woman write something so positive surely that says this guy is good to meet. If the connection is good why not meet then if don’t like how look can just respectfully leave or say not for eachother. Regarding the set up well I’m straight so couples of course I wouldn’t really want to sexually interact with the man side. As for the photos I don’t want to show face but I see the points of the body etc so I’ll change that- thanks so much btw . "
I think it's the fact that you met someone without seeing their face first. It gives the impression that you don't really care what they look like as long as you're getting a shag, which you're totally entitled to do by the way, just wouldn't be someone i would be interested in meeting. |
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By *ceanEyes15 OP Man 3 weeks ago
Manchester/Bournemouth |
Yeah no for sure I just think like the very eludes to- it shows confidence. I would meet someone without seeing face and then if I don’t like can always leave. Think it takes balls and shows confidence. I’m not forced to be there could turn up and not like and go or the opposite which is what happened. It’s the connection maybe a woman is shy. If you’re getting on why not chat then if meet and don’t like can both just leave. But that’s just me. Appreciate all the input. |
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"Yeah no for sure I just think like the very eludes to- it shows confidence. I would meet someone without seeing face and then if I don’t like can always leave. Think it takes balls and shows confidence. I’m not forced to be there could turn up and not like and go or the opposite which is what happened. It’s the connection maybe a woman is shy. If you’re getting on why not chat then if meet and don’t like can both just leave. But that’s just me. Appreciate all the input. "
OP if thats the way you wanna navigate it there is nothing wrong with it you do you. The forum is a small minority so the rest of fab may not blink twice. I was just giving advice on why a proportion may be put off.
I hope you get what you want from here ❤️
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"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all. "
OP, maybe its not for you? We're you expecting sex on tap? 100 messages does not sound very discerning. Really not sure what you were expecting. I come here for the banter and catch up with friends who I may not have on watsapp. There are some I would like to play with, but if it happens so be it.
If it is that dispiriting I would suggest leaving. |
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"
OP, maybe its not for you? We're** you expecting sex on tap? 100 messages does not sound very discerning. Really not sure what you were expecting. I come here for the banter and catch up with friends who I may not have on watsapp. There are some I would like to play with, but if it happens so be it.
If it is that dispiriting I would suggest leaving."
** were not we're |
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If someone isn’t other people‘s cups of tea, then they’re not going to be interested. I think some people are just being “kind“ and they aren’t saying what they really feel. I get ghosted all the time. |
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Take a break. Relax. Enjoy the fresh air. Get a hobby. Everyone is searching for something. You haven't found what you're looking for yet. Be patient. Look after yourself first. Mental and physical health are both important. 👍🏾😊 |
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I get you might think the verification is positive, OP, but I agree with the other women: it makes you seem like you aren't selective at all.
I also agree about action shots. If you have photos of other women, would you put up pictures of me? |
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Don't let it get to you, OP. It can be quite challenging and enervating on here, and I can totally appreciate it can be frustrating as well. It's easy to say this but patience and perseverance are vital attributes for improving your chances of meeting people and making connections. Perhaps attend a few group socials and build your nexus over a few drinks?
If you're sending hundreds of messages and receiving "hey" as a response then you need to reconsider your approach on messaging mediocre profiles and perhaps be more discerning.
Most women will look at the sender's profile before they open the message. If there is nothing in the profile that appeals to them they will leave the message unread or delete it immediately and just move on. I can only guess that they find very little of interest in your profile, and perhaps there are few things that are 'unattractive': action shots of you with other women (but you've now removed this), toilet seat in the background, calling yourself "stallion" comes across as somewhat 'braggadocio'.
Your profile text...needs improving; it's quite generic and "...as I need to be careful with work..." sounds silly and dubious.
Whatever you decide I wish you all the best. |
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Hi OP
I think most people join with unreal expectations of the site and that you will be on and get loads of meets. It’s really not like that at all.
Going on to the forums and putting yourself out there or being brave and venturing to a club are your most likely ways to get some interaction.
Again best to have no expectation and hopefully things improve.
As people have said if it’s getting you down please have a break and improve on you! |
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By *Effy-Woman 3 weeks ago
Scotland |
"Yeah no for sure I just think like the very eludes to- it shows confidence. I would meet someone without seeing face and then if I don’t like can always leave. Think it takes balls and shows confidence. I’m not forced to be there could turn up and not like and go or the opposite which is what happened. It’s the connection maybe a woman is shy. If you’re getting on why not chat then if meet and don’t like can both just leave. But that’s just me. Appreciate all the input. "
Like i said, you are allowed to do whatever you feel like works for you. I was only pointing out what the verification screams to me. |
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"Can I give you some advice?
I'd remove the photos of other women from your profile. Most women don't like seeing "action shots" or photos of other women on single men's profiles. They are definitely for the male gaze. Seeing your cum plastered allover a stranger would do absolutely nothing for me.
Women like to see photos of you that aren't genitals, fully clothed is fine and doesn't need to be your face.
Your meet verification implies that you met her without even knowing what she looks like. It makes it sound like you aren't very discerning or don't care about who you are meeting. Many women will find that off putting. We don't like being seen as a hole and nothing more.
Just some advice from a single woman, but feel free to ignore 👋 "
Good advice. Also do the women in the pictures know he took pictures and posted them all over the internet?
Thats not attractive to women who may be the next victim of this. |
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"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all. "
Your first mistake is actually reading the profiles. Nobody else seem to. So many guys ask ‘what I’m into?’ I reply ‘people that can read profiles’
Second mistake is 99% of the women on here are just after attention. They know they have what men want and effectively treat men like shit. Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
They treat it like an adult Facebook with look how many ‘likes’ I’ve got.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site. |
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"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all.
Your first mistake is actually reading the profiles. Nobody else seem to. So many guys ask ‘what I’m into?’ I reply ‘people that can read profiles’
Second mistake is 99% of the women on here are just after attention. They know they have what men want and effectively treat men like shit. Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
They treat it like an adult Facebook with look how many ‘likes’ I’ve got.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site."
Bloody attention seeking hussies all of em |
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"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all.
Your first mistake is actually reading the profiles. Nobody else seem to. So many guys ask ‘what I’m into?’ I reply ‘people that can read profiles’
Second mistake is 99% of the women on here are just after attention. They know they have what men want and effectively treat men like shit. Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
They treat it like an adult Facebook with look how many ‘likes’ I’ve got.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site.
Bloody attention seeking hussies all of em "
Brilliant |
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"Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site."
You seem nice. 😳
I don’t reply because it allows people to get through my filters. Once you’ve replied people can send messages and they do. So no reply is seen as a reply because of the way the site works.
Also, if your friend set her filters, her friends would still be able to message as I just said above.
So the question is why so many women don’t set filters (some like the attention) and also why so many DO set filters. And that’s because an awful lot of people see the women on here as sexual favour dispensers rather than as human beings. |
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"Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site.
You seem nice. 😳
I don’t reply because it allows people to get through my filters. Once you’ve replied people can send messages and they do. So no reply is seen as a reply because of the way the site works.
Also, if your friend set her filters, her friends would still be able to message as I just said above.
So the question is why so many women don’t set filters (some like the attention) and also why so many DO set filters. And that’s because an awful lot of people see the women on here as sexual favour dispensers rather than as human beings."
My filters have been set to no single guys for over six years now. I have to say it's a relief (in one sense - so many profiles are abysmal and I rarely reach out) - I'm not treated like vermin with available holes who must save my locale from the travesty of being horny for a second. |
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"Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site.
You seem nice. 😳
I don’t reply because it allows people to get through my filters. Once you’ve replied people can send messages and they do. So no reply is seen as a reply because of the way the site works.
Also, if your friend set her filters, her friends would still be able to message as I just said above.
So the question is why so many women don’t set filters (some like the attention) and also why so many DO set filters. And that’s because an awful lot of people see the women on here as sexual favour dispensers rather than as human beings."
I am nice hence being with a woman from here.
I’m not sure if she knew that if she set the filters they wouldn’t get through. I’m fairly sure she was an attention seeker. I met her simply because it was 2 AM and I was close. I’m sure if she wasn’t horny at that precise time I’d have been ignored too.
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"Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site.
You seem nice. 😳
I don’t reply because it allows people to get through my filters. Once you’ve replied people can send messages and they do. So no reply is seen as a reply because of the way the site works.
Also, if your friend set her filters, her friends would still be able to message as I just said above.
So the question is why so many women don’t set filters (some like the attention) and also why so many DO set filters. And that’s because an awful lot of people see the women on here as sexual favour dispensers rather than as human beings.
My filters have been set to no single guys for over six years now. I have to say it's a relief (in one sense - so many profiles are abysmal and I rarely reach out) - I'm not treated like vermin with available holes who must save my locale from the travesty of being horny for a second."
Genuine question then. I’m not taking the piss I really want to understand.
If your filters are set to limit certain people I.E. single men how can they see your profile? Isn’t that a glitch? |
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Things worth waiting for take a bit of effort but at least you’re listening and taking on board advice. I quite liked the action shop - happily, I threw one out looking at it* so all good here. Saying that, ‘stallion’ is a bit laughable if you become a lame pony. ‘Cervix-Basher’ is free 
* I didn’t really. |
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It is hard on here. For women too in a different way. But to find what you are looking for . I think socials are a better way to meet people. Much less intimidating than a club because it's just a group of people meeting in a pub. They also tend to be more gender balanced so you won't be one man in 10 seeking a women's attention. If what you are doing isn't working then do something else. If this site hurts your mental health then quit it otherwise it's like being hungry in a shop full of food you can't afford. |
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"Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site.
You seem nice. 😳
I don’t reply because it allows people to get through my filters. Once you’ve replied people can send messages and they do. So no reply is seen as a reply because of the way the site works.
Also, if your friend set her filters, her friends would still be able to message as I just said above.
So the question is why so many women don’t set filters (some like the attention) and also why so many DO set filters. And that’s because an awful lot of people see the women on here as sexual favour dispensers rather than as human beings.
My filters have been set to no single guys for over six years now. I have to say it's a relief (in one sense - so many profiles are abysmal and I rarely reach out) - I'm not treated like vermin with available holes who must save my locale from the travesty of being horny for a second.
Genuine question then. I’m not taking the piss I really want to understand.
If your filters are set to limit certain people I.E. single men how can they see your profile? Isn’t that a glitch?"
No. Message filters block messages, not views. |
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"It is hard on here. For women too in a different way. But to find what you are looking for . I think socials are a better way to meet people. Much less intimidating than a club because it's just a group of people meeting in a pub. They also tend to be more gender balanced so you won't be one man in 10 seeking a women's attention. If what you are doing isn't working then do something else. If this site hurts your mental health then quit it otherwise it's like being hungry in a shop full of food you can't afford."
Exactly that. ❤️ |
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"Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site.
You seem nice. 😳
I don’t reply because it allows people to get through my filters. Once you’ve replied people can send messages and they do. So no reply is seen as a reply because of the way the site works.
Also, if your friend set her filters, her friends would still be able to message as I just said above.
So the question is why so many women don’t set filters (some like the attention) and also why so many DO set filters. And that’s because an awful lot of people see the women on here as sexual favour dispensers rather than as human beings.
My filters have been set to no single guys for over six years now. I have to say it's a relief (in one sense - so many profiles are abysmal and I rarely reach out) - I'm not treated like vermin with available holes who must save my locale from the travesty of being horny for a second.
Genuine question then. I’m not taking the piss I really want to understand.
If your filters are set to limit certain people I.E. single men how can they see your profile? Isn’t that a glitch?
No. Message filters block messages, not views."
Ok. Thanks for replying. |
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Honestly, it can be disheartening when things don't go the way you expect having initiated contact. Personally, I've stopped sending the first message because I can tailor it to their profile all I like but if it's unread or deleted most of the time, it's a waste of effort on my part. I'll just focus on my own profile and let them come to me.
Secondly, this is a casual hobby at best. When I feel like I'm getting too invested, I'll stick around on the forums, but focus my attention on hobbies, friends, family, stuff in my control and I feel grounded in reality until I'm ready to have a fresh hatred for the site.
So yeah, focus on your own profile, don't send the first message so many times because that's the most soul-destroying part and don't invest too much emotion in strangers on the internet. |
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"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all. "
Soul crushing? I’m sorry it’s bringing you down. But honestly this site shouldn’t even register on things that impact your “soul” or anything serious like that.
Also I wouldn’t be keeping track of messages or even messaging huge numbers of people like that. It’s meant to be a laugh. Don’t let it take over your life.
It could be that you’re not in a good place all-round, and maybe this site isn’t for you until you’re feeling happier and healthier.
Best wishes to you man |
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"Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site.
You seem nice. 😳
I don’t reply because it allows people to get through my filters. Once you’ve replied people can send messages and they do. So no reply is seen as a reply because of the way the site works.
Also, if your friend set her filters, her friends would still be able to message as I just said above.
So the question is why so many women don’t set filters (some like the attention) and also why so many DO set filters. And that’s because an awful lot of people see the women on here as sexual favour dispensers rather than as human beings.
I am nice hence being with a woman from here.
I’m not sure if she knew that if she set the filters they wouldn’t get through. I’m fairly sure she was an attention seeker. I met her simply because it was 2 AM and I was close. I’m sure if she wasn’t horny at that precise time I’d have been ignored too.
"
Your profile says your gay? |
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By *iver78Man 3 weeks ago
barton upon humber |
"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all.
Your first mistake is actually reading the profiles. Nobody else seem to. So many guys ask ‘what I’m into?’ I reply ‘people that can read profiles’
Second mistake is 99% of the women on here are just after attention. They know they have what men want and effectively treat men like shit. Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
They treat it like an adult Facebook with look how many ‘likes’ I’ve got.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site.
Bloody attention seeking hussies all of em
Brilliant "
This is a forum point lol , but I would of worded it a bit differently lol , but there are a large amount of women on here who are just here for the attention , and but usually you can spot them pretty quick , and I also agree that most ladies do literally get 100s of messages , so for them to one in a list of 100s is quit an ask
But I'd say more an 80 / 20 in favor of nice people |
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By *iver78Man 3 weeks ago
barton upon humber |
"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all.
Your first mistake is actually reading the profiles. Nobody else seem to. So many guys ask ‘what I’m into?’ I reply ‘people that can read profiles’
Second mistake is 99% of the women on here are just after attention. They know they have what men want and effectively treat men like shit. Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
They treat it like an adult Facebook with look how many ‘likes’ I’ve got.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site.
Bloody attention seeking hussies all of em
Brilliant "
This is a forum point lol , but I would of worded it a bit differently lol , but there are a large amount of women on here who are just here for the attention , and but usually you can spot them pretty quick , and I also agree that most ladies do literally get 100s of messages , so for them to one in a list of 100s is quit an ask
But I'd say more an 80 / 20 in favor of nice people
All don't try and text on a boat !! |
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"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all.
Your first mistake is actually reading the profiles. Nobody else seem to. So many guys ask ‘what I’m into?’ I reply ‘people that can read profiles’
Second mistake is 99% of the women on here are just after attention. They know they have what men want and effectively treat men like shit. Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
They treat it like an adult Facebook with look how many ‘likes’ I’ve got.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site.
Bloody attention seeking hussies all of em
Brilliant
This is a forum point lol , but I would of worded it a bit differently lol , but there are a large amount of women on here who are just here for the attention , and but usually you can spot them pretty quick , and I also agree that most ladies do literally get 100s of messages , so for them to one in a list of 100s is quit an ask
But I'd say more an 80 / 20 in favor of nice people
All don't try and text on a boat !! "
Even if they are though whats the issue? Everyone can be on here for what they want can they not?
I just think look for the people that are for you instead of being disrespectful and caring about people that arnt. ( not you the original comment) |
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"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all.
Your first mistake is actually reading the profiles. Nobody else seem to. So many guys ask ‘what I’m into?’ I reply ‘people that can read profiles’
Second mistake is 99% of the women on here are just after attention. They know they have what men want and effectively treat men like shit. Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
They treat it like an adult Facebook with look how many ‘likes’ I’ve got.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site."
Fuck youre bitter |
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By *ino200Man 3 weeks ago
Bournemouth,london and Sienna |
"Didn’t meant 100 a day specifically - I was unclear as in- man could send 100s a day or 10 a day and same outcome.
Maybe break is needed yeah "
Are the messages sex based ?We dont know what you put in your messages but obviously your approach as is isnt working maybe it is just you ,maybe you can't sustain conversation with a woman not everyone can ,i don't seem to have a problem conversing its the meeting part i fall down at ,they are blown away by my smouldering good looks and sense of style  |
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I was getting like this at one point. Disheartened. Confused. Frustrated.
But I just decided there's more to life than a fucking app. And honestly, you'll be much better taking a less focused approach. Use this as a side hobby whilst doing other stuff.
I will say this. The main issue I think for both ladies and gents on here is having unrealistic expectations. I get it, this site caters to fantasy. But that is just that, fantasy, not reality. |
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"If the OP feels like this on here, goodness knows how they'll cope with a club! 
What with the wanking dead lingering around the clubs? Whooops. "
Yep that and leaving the club after not having sex with anyone |
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Maybe just accept you're not their type or they don't find you sexually attractive?
I'm sure if I sent hundreds of messages hardly any would reply even.
Would you shag them all if they all replied? |
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"Maybe just accept you're not their type or they don't find you sexually attractive?
I'm sure if I sent hundreds of messages hardly any would reply even.
Would you shag them all if they all replied? "
Saying that about 'a hundred messages' when I was on TINDER I counted 100 profiles and I actually swiped right on 4!! And not one replied |
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"Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site.
You seem nice. 😳
I don’t reply because it allows people to get through my filters. Once you’ve replied people can send messages and they do. So no reply is seen as a reply because of the way the site works.
Also, if your friend set her filters, her friends would still be able to message as I just said above.
So the question is why so many women don’t set filters (some like the attention) and also why so many DO set filters. And that’s because an awful lot of people see the women on here as sexual favour dispensers rather than as human beings.
I am nice hence being with a woman from here.
I’m not sure if she knew that if she set the filters they wouldn’t get through. I’m fairly sure she was an attention seeker. I met her simply because it was 2 AM and I was close. I’m sure if she wasn’t horny at that precise time I’d have been ignored too.
Your profile says your gay?"
Your profile says YOU’RE gay. As in YOU ARE. Never mind that though.
It says I’m gay because I wanted to meet a certain man that only allowed GAY men to contact him.
If I said I was black would you believe that too??? |
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I agree with what the people on the thread have said about you meeting someone that you didn’t know what they look like, although the verification is a good one it does scream slightly of desperation because we wouldn’t ever meet someone if we haven’t exchanged photos.
Like the others have said it comes across like you don’t have standards or any holes a goal and that could be why some women are put off.
Although it is a sex site women and couples still want to feel fancied and appreciated. 9/10 don’t want wam bam thank you mam. |
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"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all.
Your first mistake is actually reading the profiles. Nobody else seem to. So many guys ask ‘what I’m into?’ I reply ‘people that can read profiles’
Second mistake is 99% of the women on here are just after attention. They know they have what men want and effectively treat men like shit. Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
They treat it like an adult Facebook with look how many ‘likes’ I’ve got.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site.
Fuck youre bitter "
I’m genuinely not bitter in the slightest. I’m just extremely honest and if you take that as offensive then you’re in the 99% bracket. Honesty ONLY upsets those it hits. |
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"
I am nice hence being with a woman from here.
I’m not sure if she knew that if she set the filters they wouldn’t get through. I’m fairly sure she was an attention seeker. I met her simply because it was 2 AM and I was close. I’m sure if she wasn’t horny at that precise time I’d have been ignored too.
Your profile says your gay?
Your profile says YOU’RE gay. As in YOU ARE. Never mind that though.
It says I’m gay because I wanted to meet a certain man that only allowed GAY men to contact him.
If I said I was black would you believe that too???"
Sorry for the autocorrect grammatical error, I'll try better next time, but you understood what I was saying.
And I would think you were lying if you said you were black because your pictures are of a white person. Although given you're (YOU ARE😊) lying about your sexuality who knows. And why is it odd to believe that someone who says that they're gay is actually gay? |
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"
I am nice hence being with a woman from here.
I’m not sure if she knew that if she set the filters they wouldn’t get through. I’m fairly sure she was an attention seeker. I met her simply because it was 2 AM and I was close. I’m sure if she wasn’t horny at that precise time I’d have been ignored too.
Your profile says your gay?
Your profile says YOU’RE gay. As in YOU ARE. Never mind that though.
It says I’m gay because I wanted to meet a certain man that only allowed GAY men to contact him.
If I said I was black would you believe that too???
Sorry for the autocorrect grammatical error, I'll try better next time, but you understood what I was saying.
And I would think you were lying if you said you were black because your pictures are of a white person. Although given you're (YOU ARE😊) lying about your sexuality who knows. And why is it odd to believe that someone who says that they're gay is actually gay? "
That’s a very valid point. I was thinking with my cock when I set up the account as I knew this guy wouldn’t accept messages unless it was from a gay man. It’s technically not a lie as when I’m with a man I’m totally gay.
I’ve amended it though as I genuinely thought I’d already done it.
Cheers. Stay safe ❤️ |
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Baffles me when I read threads like this as I really don’t understand what the motive is ?
If people you message don’t reply it just means they aren’t interested, I’m not sure why that’s an issues ? Are you saying you want people who have absolutely no interest in you to waste both your time responding ?
Relax OP have fun interacting in the forums or get yourself to some socials etc
Don’t overthink it, I don’t think threads like this help your chances, you have some very constructive feedback from ladies so take that onboard. Maybe have a break and come back refreshed.
|
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By *otsossieMan 3 weeks ago
Hard.shoulder of the M1 |
"How quick do you expect a response? Lou had someone message last night and before she'd even read it she had another message about them thinking she was keen to chat more.
"
Yeah I’ve had this. Message bombardment followed by a strop, and I was just distracted by something else for a few minutes.
To be fair, they’re lucky I remembered to check back at all. |
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"Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site.
You seem nice. 😳
I don’t reply because it allows people to get through my filters. Once you’ve replied people can send messages and they do. So no reply is seen as a reply because of the way the site works.
Also, if your friend set her filters, her friends would still be able to message as I just said above.
So the question is why so many women don’t set filters (some like the attention) and also why so many DO set filters. And that’s because an awful lot of people see the women on here as sexual favour dispensers rather than as human beings.
I am nice hence being with a woman from here.
I’m not sure if she knew that if she set the filters they wouldn’t get through. I’m fairly sure she was an attention seeker. I met her simply because it was 2 AM and I was close. I’m sure if she wasn’t horny at that precise time I’d have been ignored too.
Your profile says your gay?
Your profile says YOU’RE gay. As in YOU ARE. Never mind that though.
It says I’m gay because I wanted to meet a certain man that only allowed GAY men to contact him.
If I said I was black would you believe that too???"
So youre a liar then. |
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"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all.
Your first mistake is actually reading the profiles. Nobody else seem to. So many guys ask ‘what I’m into?’ I reply ‘people that can read profiles’
Second mistake is 99% of the women on here are just after attention. They know they have what men want and effectively treat men like shit. Being too fucking ignorant to reply.
They treat it like an adult Facebook with look how many ‘likes’ I’ve got.
Thirdly the 1 % that ARE genuine probably get 50-500 messages a day. Trust me I’ve been with a woman from her that showed me DESPITE her status at the time saying ‘only friends message please as I’m really busy for a while’.
Good luck though buddy and don’t let it get you down. You’ll find a much nicer class of woman in a pub or another non sexual dating site.
Fuck youre bitter
I’m genuinely not bitter in the slightest. I’m just extremely honest and if you take that as offensive then you’re in the 99% bracket. Honesty ONLY upsets those it hits."
Im male. Youre bitter. |
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"How quick do you expect a response? Lou had someone message last night and before she'd even read it she had another message about them thinking she was keen to chat more.
Yeah I’ve had this. Message bombardment followed by a strop, and I was just distracted by something else for a few minutes.
To be fair, they’re lucky I remembered to check back at all. "
Yeah we have had similar where we have been at the coast and no signal so it looks like we are online but actually not or we read a message but then can’t reply until we get signal and they take that as us ignoring them.
The sane non desperate ones will naturally wait for a reply and if they don’t get one in a 24/48 hour period they know they are not for us, we normally allow the same time scale as we know life happens and not everyone can be online and reply 24/7 |
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No site is worth letting it effect you in a negative way....Step back and take a break if needed....
I think nearly all sites are now similar....it's the price we pay for being online ..... people can either be really nice or it brings out the worst traits in them ...perhaps not even intentionally...
Treat this and any site as light entertainment with the bonus being a potential actual meet .... |
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It's essential to preserve your mental wellbeing, so consider a rest, when you get negative impact
Most people are not mutually compatible with most other people. The better your profile and messages are, the easier it is for others to know if you're potentially right or not, for them. It's much better to not have a lack of clarity, as it prevents hopes being built and dashed unnecessarily.
Consider going to clubs and Fab socials, to get more interaction with others. And look after yourself |
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By *arand25Couple 3 weeks ago
Crowborough |
Just an idea, consider changing your username, names like stallion, bigdong hungguy etc would make us skip past as we do with others.
Your profile is fine & nice photos, although you could do with a few more public ones.
Good luck but don't get too hung up on the lack of replies, it's meant to be fun. Get along the coast to BGHS, meet a few there, get verified too, that'll help |
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When the fun stops, stops.
Firstly for your own MH. But also because that kinda shit seeps through messages.
As an extra observation, you say you read profiles (bare minimum imo) but I suspect you don't read between the lines. The gals have given you gold and rather than understand why they don't like action shots or your veru, you've defended it. Ofc, that's your right, but it then doesn't suprise me that you are striking out. They've told you to open your eyes while swinging and you've defended why you think keeping them closed is a good thing.
Take care. ✌🏻 |
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Same in, same out as they say. If you are fed up with it and its not working for you then go and do something different.
Too many people hide in the virtual world and then dont understand why they never meet anyone.
Go to socials, attend a club, they are not as off putting or scary as you think. Just treat it as going down the pub and go in with open eyes and no expectations.
You never know who you may chat with and......... |
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"It's essential to preserve your mental wellbeing, so consider a rest, when you get negative impact
Most people are not mutually compatible with most other people. The better your profile and messages are, the easier it is for others to know if you're potentially right or not, for them. It's much better to not have a lack of clarity, as it prevents hopes being built and dashed unnecessarily.
Consider going to clubs and Fab socials, to get more interaction with others. And look after yourself "
This 100%
I often wonder how those who state that life on Fab (or other online sites) is hard, frustrating or disappointing cope in the real world interacting with others?
It often seems that many think that because this is a swingers/sex site that they're chances of meeting someone here will be greater than doing the same in a pub/bar/vanilla club or in a supermarket, or at work, or in any one of dozens of other places that people meet those of the opposite sex.
The truth is usually the opposite. You have to rely on your photos and the words you type in a profile to generate initial interest. You're competing with hundreds of others for the attention of the same person/people. Anything you write in a message can be ignored, deleted, never even seen, misunderstood or thought dull/interesting without you having any control over the outcome.
In the real world, or even in a swingers club or at an organised social you're visible, can be seen and heard by everyone else there. There's no delay in communication. There's no debate as to how accurately you're pictures represent you. There's much, much better opportunities to show your personality and character. Of course there's still no guaranteed outcomes. But in person vs online offers significant benefits when trying to present yourself to others.
If online only interactions aren't producing the desired results then there's two possibilities. You're not presenting yourself in a way that attracts and interests other people or you're doing a great job of presenting the real you 100% accurately and unfortunately people just aren't interested.
99% of people will never be compatible with eachother. That's life. The only way to improve your odds of finding the 1% that will be is to not restrict yourself to online, virtual communications.
Tits ignored the first message I ever sent her. We met months later via mutual friends at a vanilla social event, became FWB's and eventually partners. I met my previous partner at a swingers social and then a club event soon after. I met my ex wife on Fab. The majority of FB's and FWB's I've had since joining here in 2008 have been via face to face contact. Not via a message on here.
You can make life hard for yourself and restrict how you approach things, or you can try a multi-faceted approach and hope for different results. The choice is down to you of course, but if what you're doing isn't working then doing the same thing over and over and hoping for a different result is unlikely to change the outcome. 🤷♂️
Obihaive |
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Don’t take it seriously.
(That’s what she said)
Honestly, I’ve made 2 puns on here and laughed uproarishly at both. Who said this site isn’t fun?
Seriously though, counting messages and ratios of sent vs read vs meets? On a scatter graph it’s an inverse (negative) correlation. The more you send, the less likely you are to meet.
Go to a social instead. |
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"My advice to you us go to a swinging club."
Ah, but ol’ blue eyes may have paid a pretty penny or two to get in and expectations might be in line with the cost. How deep would the disappointment be if, at the end of an increasingly frantic search, no one fancied a shag with him and he left, full bollocked but empty walleted? |
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For me, swinging is a lifestyle.
It is hard and meeting people (which you have) can be hard. Putting pressure on yourself and if it is making your health deteriorate it’s time to have a break.
If you’re serious about swinging and meeting couples I think you need to live the life and take it for what it is, the social aspect is just as if not more important than the sex.
My advice would be;
Get busy on forums, chat to people on there. Go to a social, go to a club. What you put in is what you get out. Treat people like people and not just for the play. Have a normal conversation.
That all being said, as I said it is a lifestyle and can be hard on your head even when you’re meeting people. Politics. Rejection. Expectations. Emotions. The list goes on.
Like I said, you need to have a think if it’s for you. It’s a lifestyle. Not a game.
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"Yeah no for sure I just think like the very eludes to- it shows confidence. I would meet someone without seeing face and then if I don’t like can always leave. Think it takes balls and shows confidence. I’m not forced to be there could turn up and not like and go or the opposite which is what happened. It’s the connection maybe a woman is shy. If you’re getting on why not chat then if meet and don’t like can both just leave. But that’s just me. Appreciate all the input. "
I regularly meet people without exchanging face pics. Based on chat etc. I want to get on with them first and foremost so that wouldn't bother me. Definitely your profile pic now is very appealing and a few more photos in like that should help. |
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By *ike341Man 3 weeks ago
Leamington Spa |
"My advice to you us go to a swinging club.
Ah, but ol’ blue eyes may have paid a pretty penny or two to get in and expectations might be in line with the cost. How deep would the disappointment be if, at the end of an increasingly frantic search, no one fancied a shag with him and he left, full bollocked but empty walleted? "
My point is, a club offers way more opportunities to meet people in the swinging world and that can lead to spontaneous fun that you wouldn't be exposed to using an online website. |
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"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all. "
Going by your glowing mutual veris from Jan 2026 it sounds like you found the one. What's your problem again? |
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I’m glad I’m not the only one finding this out, everyone seems to be so strict and so precise with what is required to even have a standard conversation, sometimes I understand why so many men use services |
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By *ike341Man 3 weeks ago
Leamington Spa |
"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all.
Going by your glowing mutual veris from Jan 2026 it sounds like you found the one. What's your problem again?"
Jeez! Why does everyone have to be so snarky in the forums!!! |
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Had a woman message me this morning saying she recognised me (I recognised her name, possibly from a dating app), after a few messages she says she wants to meet. I suggest the weekend and she says yes, I suggest Saturday but she suddenly has work now at the weekend, how about an evening, I suggested Monday evening (forgot it was bank holiday) she said busy then too. I suggest Tuesday evening… left unread, yet every time I come online she is online.
She was replying rapidly beforehand.
Obviously was chatting to at least one other guy, he probably suggested a day she was actually free and that’s that, he probably gets the meet and I don’t.
You win some you lose some.
It can be tough on here, really tough sometimes but then other times you send one hopeful message, get a reply, have a conversation and meet a great person!
I have had stints where I sent 20-25 messages and got zero replies. Then a couple of months ago I messaged two women, both local, both replied, both wanted to meet and met them in the same week. How the hell that happened I don’t know but keep your head up!
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By *ykesMan 3 weeks ago
sutton |
OP great thread and definitely one worth reading for the female perspective. I understand your frustrations and it’s difficult in here. But keep plugging away. Maybe a little break from fan wouldn’t be a bad thing. Either way best of luck. |
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"I’m glad I’m not the only one finding this out, everyone seems to be so strict and so precise with what is required to even have a standard conversation, sometimes I understand why so many men use services "
Really?
You need to reset and realise women arent just a hole for your pleasure. Using sex workers is disgusting and wrong in do many ways. |
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"OP great thread and definitely one worth reading for the female perspective. I understand your frustrations and it’s difficult in here. But keep plugging away. Maybe a little break from fan wouldn’t be a bad thing. Either way best of luck. "
Tge only thing ive taken from this moaning thread is that the women on mumsnet are right about men. |
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By *ike341Man 1 week ago
Leamington Spa |
"OP great thread and definitely one worth reading for the female perspective. I understand your frustrations and it’s difficult in here. But keep plugging away. Maybe a little break from fan wouldn’t be a bad thing. Either way best of luck.
Tge only thing ive taken from this moaning thread is that the women on mumsnet are right about men."
Spot the white knight coming to the rescue of all those little women. |
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"Genuinely starting to be soul crushing on here. Take so much care to read profiles carefully but don’t get anywhere. When do get a reply just hey after all that or speak then filters out. Tried so hard to read each one and follow what is being wanted etc. Have verifications that are glowingly positive etc. As a guy it’s so frustrating. Even send face pics etc. Of course women have loads of messages so not really anyone to blame for not replying etc just speaking openly. Send about 100 messages lucky if get 1 reply. Ughh frustrating. Started to actually affect mentally. But we preserve. Anyway Happy fabbing to all. "
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, get out and talk to and meet women the old way.
If you don’t get lucky you’ll have had a good night out anyway.
Treat anything from fab as an unexpected bonus.
Or if you desperately want the swingers scene get yourself to a club and socials |
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"When the fun stops, stops.
Firstly for your own MH. But also because that kinda shit seeps through messages.
As an extra observation, you say you read profiles (bare minimum imo) but I suspect you don't read between the lines. The gals have given you gold and rather than understand why they don't like action shots or your veru, you've defended it. Ofc, that's your right, but it then doesn't suprise me that you are striking out. They've told you to open your eyes while swinging and you've defended why you think keeping them closed is a good thing.
Take care. ✌🏻"
I agree wholeheartedly with this. OP it appears you send a lot of messages to women but you don't like to listen to them. More than one lady has said the same thing in tesponse to you and yet you're still being defensive and justifying why you think it's okay.
Perhaps listen to what the ladies are saying as they are the very people you are trying to appeal to.
It is really odd and not discerning that you would meet someone having never seen them. It would be a turn off to a lot of women.
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Finding the same on my profile it’s polite and straightforward but then am thinking is my profile to boring and I don’t have naked pics on there do I need to change that
Any advice greatly appreciated |
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By *erdyHollyTV/TS 1 week ago
In a galaxy far far away |
"Finding the same on my profile it’s polite and straightforward but then am thinking is my profile to boring and I don’t have naked pics on there do I need to change that
Any advice greatly appreciated "
You've had 2 meets in your first 7 weeks here. I'd say you're doing quite well. |
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"Finding the same on my profile it’s polite and straightforward but then am thinking is my profile to boring and I don’t have naked pics on there do I need to change that
Any advice greatly appreciated
You've had 2 meets in your first 7 weeks here. I'd say you're doing quite well."
Yes. One meet in three months is probably way above average for a guy here.
Whatever you're doing, guys could probably learn from you. |
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"Finding the same on my profile it’s polite and straightforward but then am thinking is my profile to boring and I don’t have naked pics on there do I need to change that
Any advice greatly appreciated "
But you do have naked pics? 🤷🏽 |
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