I posted this in the Swingers club discussion forum, but I might be more likely to get a reply here, so I'll post here. Hopefully I'm not breaking the rules with this post. I used to use the forum a lot on an old account, but haven't in years so I don't know if the rules have changed since I was last here.
Hi, I'm sort of looking for advice here or perhaps just info.
I'm a very honest person on here and very unfiltered ( I'm neurodivergent ) and this has made me quite unpopular on here for a woman. Couples rarely message and view my profile, and I've clicked on a few random profiles I've seen through verifications only to see I've been blocked. I've also been told I sound entitled on my profile ( I'm honest about what I'm looking for, but I've never once said I think I'm remotely special.)
All this to say, if I went to a club and someone/ people recognised me from fab as someone they can't stand, would people be unpleasant to me? If my name was on the list for an event would It result in people not wanting to go because I am?
I'm acting like i think I'm well known on here. I don't, but a lot of people have said they remember me from an old profile, so there are a few that recognise me.
I've never been to a club before and feel it would be a good way to meet women and couples. I come across much better in person than online, but I'm worried I won't be welcome at any club nights.
I also have complicated sight issues and worry the lighting wouldn't be good for me. It's hard to make out faces unless the lighting is good and someone is close by.
Any constructive advice appreciated.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I posted this in the Swingers club discussion forum, but I might be more likely to get a reply here, so I'll post here. Hopefully I'm not breaking the rules with this post. I used to use the forum a lot on an old account, but haven't in years so I don't know if the rules have changed since I was last here.
Hi, I'm sort of looking for advice here or perhaps just info.
I'm a very honest person on here and very unfiltered ( I'm neurodivergent ) and this has made me quite unpopular on here for a woman. Couples rarely message and view my profile, and I've clicked on a few random profiles I've seen through verifications only to see I've been blocked. I've also been told I sound entitled on my profile ( I'm honest about what I'm looking for, but I've never once said I think I'm remotely special.)
All this to say, if I went to a club and someone/ people recognised me from fab as someone they can't stand, would people be unpleasant to me? If my name was on the list for an event would It result in people not wanting to go because I am?
I'm acting like i think I'm well known on here. I don't, but a lot of people have said they remember me from an old profile, so there are a few that recognise me.
I've never been to a club before and feel it would be a good way to meet women and couples. I come across much better in person than online, but I'm worried I won't be welcome at any club nights.
I also have complicated sight issues and worry the lighting wouldn't be good for me. It's hard to make out faces unless the lighting is good and someone is close by.
Any constructive advice appreciated.
"
Your profile is hidden so no chance of getting recognised! 🤣 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Clubs are for everyone and if someone doesn't like you then it's their problem not yours, I can't see your profile because you've hidden it but im a member at xtasia and if you ever fancy a visit id be then happy to chat with you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My experience - as someone who can be polarising - is that overt unpleasantness is pretty rare. People might be polite and then excuse themselves, or they won't recognise you. Not recognising you, and treating you as a new person, is much more likely.
I've only ever had one person be overtly unpleasant to me in a club... I think he was just raised wrong. (I managed base politeness...) Other people notice, it's not normal, and it damages their reputation when others notice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I certainly would hope people wouldn’t be unpleasant to others in social surroundings, especially clubs. I wouldn’t let it put you off. Face to face interactions are much different and people can be take how something is written in a wrong way. I’d say to not to be nervous, go, be friendly and have fun! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
|
May not be the greatest answer but.....
Just keep being you,that's it. You shouldn't feel you have to change to get someone to want you
Maybe,just maybe the people who said about you sounding entitled are actually entitled themselves as they feel they need to say it
I have have ADHD(diagnosed)and find things difficult sometimes
You are very attractive,and things will happen when you least expect
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
|
"I posted this in the Swingers club discussion forum, but I might be more likely to get a reply here, so I'll post here. Hopefully I'm not breaking the rules with this post. I used to use the forum a lot on an old account, but haven't in years so I don't know if the rules have changed since I was last here.
Hi, I'm sort of looking for advice here or perhaps just info.
I'm a very honest person on here and very unfiltered ( I'm neurodivergent ) and this has made me quite unpopular on here for a woman. Couples rarely message and view my profile, and I've clicked on a few random profiles I've seen through verifications only to see I've been blocked. I've also been told I sound entitled on my profile ( I'm honest about what I'm looking for, but I've never once said I think I'm remotely special.)
All this to say, if I went to a club and someone/ people recognised me from fab as someone they can't stand, would people be unpleasant to me? If my name was on the list for an event would It result in people not wanting to go because I am?
I'm acting like i think I'm well known on here. I don't, but a lot of people have said they remember me from an old profile, so there are a few that recognise me.
I've never been to a club before and feel it would be a good way to meet women and couples. I come across much better in person than online, but I'm worried I won't be welcome at any club nights.
I also have complicated sight issues and worry the lighting wouldn't be good for me. It's hard to make out faces unless the lighting is good and someone is close by.
Any constructive advice appreciated.
Your profile is hidden so no chance of getting recognised! 🤣"
Its not hidden |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I posted this in the Swingers club discussion forum, but I might be more likely to get a reply here, so I'll post here. Hopefully I'm not breaking the rules with this post. I used to use the forum a lot on an old account, but haven't in years so I don't know if the rules have changed since I was last here.
Hi, I'm sort of looking for advice here or perhaps just info.
I'm a very honest person on here and very unfiltered ( I'm neurodivergent ) and this has made me quite unpopular on here for a woman. Couples rarely message and view my profile, and I've clicked on a few random profiles I've seen through verifications only to see I've been blocked. I've also been told I sound entitled on my profile ( I'm honest about what I'm looking for, but I've never once said I think I'm remotely special.)
All this to say, if I went to a club and someone/ people recognised me from fab as someone they can't stand, would people be unpleasant to me? If my name was on the list for an event would It result in people not wanting to go because I am?
I'm acting like i think I'm well known on here. I don't, but a lot of people have said they remember me from an old profile, so there are a few that recognise me.
I've never been to a club before and feel it would be a good way to meet women and couples. I come across much better in person than online, but I'm worried I won't be welcome at any club nights.
I also have complicated sight issues and worry the lighting wouldn't be good for me. It's hard to make out faces unless the lighting is good and someone is close by.
Any constructive advice appreciated.
Your profile is hidden so no chance of getting recognised! 🤣
Its not hidden"
It was whe the OP first posted this thread |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My experience - as someone who can be polarising - is that overt unpleasantness is pretty rare. People might be polite and then excuse themselves, or they won't recognise you. Not recognising you, and treating you as a new person, is much more likely.
I've only ever had one person be overtly unpleasant to me in a club... I think he was just raised wrong. (I managed base politeness...) Other people notice, it's not normal, and it damages their reputation when others notice. "
I don't really know how polarising I am in person as I don't get out enough due to issues with my appearance. I can only go off the fact that people who meet me in person tell me I'm really nice. I just know I'm definitely very polarising on here.
It's reassuring to know most people are pleasant; I'm sorry you had a bad experience but I'm glad it seems to be a rarity. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
|
"I posted this in the Swingers club discussion forum, but I might be more likely to get a reply here, so I'll post here. Hopefully I'm not breaking the rules with this post. I used to use the forum a lot on an old account, but haven't in years so I don't know if the rules have changed since I was last here.
Hi, I'm sort of looking for advice here or perhaps just info.
I'm a very honest person on here and very unfiltered ( I'm neurodivergent ) and this has made me quite unpopular on here for a woman. Couples rarely message and view my profile, and I've clicked on a few random profiles I've seen through verifications only to see I've been blocked. I've also been told I sound entitled on my profile ( I'm honest about what I'm looking for, but I've never once said I think I'm remotely special.)
All this to say, if I went to a club and someone/ people recognised me from fab as someone they can't stand, would people be unpleasant to me? If my name was on the list for an event would It result in people not wanting to go because I am?
I'm acting like i think I'm well known on here. I don't, but a lot of people have said they remember me from an old profile, so there are a few that recognise me.
I've never been to a club before and feel it would be a good way to meet women and couples. I come across much better in person than online, but I'm worried I won't be welcome at any club nights.
I also have complicated sight issues and worry the lighting wouldn't be good for me. It's hard to make out faces unless the lighting is good and someone is close by.
Any constructive advice appreciated.
Your profile is hidden so no chance of getting recognised! 🤣
Its not hidden
It was whe the OP first posted this thread"
Ah fair enough |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"May not be the greatest answer but.....
Just keep being you,that's it. You shouldn't feel you have to change to get someone to want you
Maybe,just maybe the people who said about you sounding entitled are actually entitled themselves as they feel they need to say it
I have have ADHD(diagnosed)and find things difficult sometimes
You are very attractive,and things will happen when you least expect
"
You could be right. The person who said this about my profile wasn't my type, although I hadn't said that outright to him, I was just responding to a question he had regarding a post I'd made.
I'm pretty particular about what I go for, so I will seem shallow and entitled to a lot. I guess it is what it is. Some turn nasty when they realise they aren't going to get what they hoped from you.
Thanks for the kind words. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
People would be different in a club to on here.
Being nasty in a club would get them thrown out.
Be yourself and you’ll find your people…the forums are diverse. Some people are themselves and others say what they think people want to hear or think will will get them sex 😬
A number of clubs have bar areas where people hang out and they have decent lighting so you’ll be fine OP.
Try out a few clubs though as they are completely different.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *viatrixWoman 2 weeks ago
Back in Surrey, Dahlings! |
People are pleasantly surprised when they meet me in person.
My forum persona is a defensive one because I’ve jever felt that I fit in- even after 8 years. But in events, we’re all on level ground and many people who are considered forum/Fab royalty are nowhere as significant in real life  so if anything going to real life things like socials and clubs is beneficial to me! Some couples have unblocked me after meeting me in person haha
I’d say go ahead and attend clubs. In any case it is difficult to recognise people at first glance from a set of uncovered body part photos  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
|
"May not be the greatest answer but.....
Just keep being you,that's it. You shouldn't feel you have to change to get someone to want you
Maybe,just maybe the people who said about you sounding entitled are actually entitled themselves as they feel they need to say it
I have have ADHD(diagnosed)and find things difficult sometimes
You are very attractive,and things will happen when you least expect
You could be right. The person who said this about my profile wasn't my type, although I hadn't said that outright to him, I was just responding to a question he had regarding a post I'd made.
I'm pretty particular about what I go for, so I will seem shallow and entitled to a lot. I guess it is what it is. Some turn nasty when they realise they aren't going to get what they hoped from you.
Thanks for the kind words."
Most welcome
Just.keep.being positive |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *WB85Man 2 weeks ago
Staffordshire |
I'd suggest going to a club for either a newbie event, where theres no sexual activity....just to get a feel for it.
Or maybe a couples and single ladies event where the approach feels more laid back and soft.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You are stunning OP. Beautiful figure. You know what you want and that’s that.
Don’t change being you to suit others. You sound strong enough to deal with the crap.
Growing up undiagnosed and being neurospicy myself I have (and still occasionally do) change for others. Sometimes this has worked in my favour, other times I’ve just got the flock out of dodge. I do me now. You do you.x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Go to a club and enjoy the experience.
Do people have access to the guestlist beforehand? I'd be surprised if they did.
Most people are pleasant in real life, even if they aren't attracted to you or like you. Little to no chance of keyboard warriors in real life.
It's good to be clear about what you are looking for. The same goes for everyone else. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You'll never be universally liked in life so why would Fab or clubs be any different?
Unless you've given someone good reason to dislike you then don't worry about the views of a total stranger. They're not yours to control so why give them the satisfaction of getting to you?
I've met countless people in 18 years on here and almost the same in clubs. There are people who have become great friends, people who I've learnt through interactions that I'd much rather avoid and I'm sure a fair few who dislike me for one reason or another.
I'm not here to be popular to all. Likewise in clubs.
Just do you and as long as you're not deliberately winding people up or out to cause drama just enjoy the ride. 😉😁
Obi |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The map is not the territory"
How one sees things is often very different to actual reality.
What I'm getting at is, you may care and remember details big n small, but the vast majority really don't |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hi Eliza,
We're a couple of neurospicy, relative newbies and just wanted to reply and say hi... we haven't had a UK club experience yet, but our international club visits have all been very good, with lots of friendly people and very welcoming. Positive experiences overall.
We prefer a direct and detailed profile too; we think it helps people who would like us to find us and get to know us a little before any messaging and also not waste the time of others who might not like us.
As others have said, you do you, and we feel confident you will get a welcoming and friendly reception when you do go to a club, and on here.
D & SK |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
In the two weeks I have been posting in here I feel like I have made enemies. I came here blurting out harsh truths and saying how I felt, took a few days to realise forums are very cliquey and if you seemingly insult anyone in that clique, they all go high and mighty and try to belittle you. It’s honestly really sad and childish.
Chances are though if you go to a club local to you, there may only be one person that may not like you due to the forum. The other 20-50 people may not have a clue who you are and then it’s all about how you get on with them in person.
Plus people may misunderstand things you have said on here as insulting or offensive but in person they may realise oh actually you were being funny and honest which didn’t translate through words on a page.
Hit the clubs and you will be fine! Plus the advantage of being an attractive woman instantly makes that 10x easier |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We’ve been to lots of clubs and found them a bit of a halfway house to here.
You get regulars there, who clearly know each other and can be quite cliquey- similar to forums I guess.
However, every visit has always been friendly too- there tends to be a mixed bag of first time, little experience and nervous to balance out the regulars.
You’ve got very little to lose (bar the time and the entry price of course…) by giving one a go- just FYI though we’ve never seen a guest list for one in advance.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I recognise your profile (and you) from years ago, possibly just after I joined this site.
I recognise the 'pattern' in your narrative from your previous account, albeit it's changed obviously. I recognise how frank and forthright you are in your profile but I don't see anything contentious or negative in it. That's all I recognise. I would safely say that most others would see/accept you as a new person (echoing @Swing's remark from earlier). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I posted this in the Swingers club discussion forum, but I might be more likely to get a reply here, so I'll post here. Hopefully I'm not breaking the rules with this post. I used to use the forum a lot on an old account, but haven't in years so I don't know if the rules have changed since I was last here.
Hi, I'm sort of looking for advice here or perhaps just info.
I'm a very honest person on here and very unfiltered ( I'm neurodivergent ) and this has made me quite unpopular on here for a woman. Couples rarely message and view my profile, and I've clicked on a few random profiles I've seen through verifications only to see I've been blocked. I've also been told I sound entitled on my profile ( I'm honest about what I'm looking for, but I've never once said I think I'm remotely special.)
All this to say, if I went to a club and someone/ people recognised me from fab as someone they can't stand, would people be unpleasant to me? If my name was on the list for an event would It result in people not wanting to go because I am?
I'm acting like i think I'm well known on here. I don't, but a lot of people have said they remember me from an old profile, so there are a few that recognise me.
I've never been to a club before and feel it would be a good way to meet women and couples. I come across much better in person than online, but I'm worried I won't be welcome at any club nights.
I also have complicated sight issues and worry the lighting wouldn't be good for me. It's hard to make out faces unless the lighting is good and someone is close by.
Any constructive advice appreciated.
"
I couldn’t say they wouldn’t be unpleasant to you, people are after all, unpredictable at times. However I would say most club venues I’ve visited wouldn’t tolerate it so if it does happen inform the staff and they will handle it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I remember you from your previous profile because I thought you were hot, not because of anything you said or did, and I'd imagine that a lot of people would remember you for the same reason. I know that I'm outside your age range and don't meet your other requirements to be athletic and well-groomed but I reckon that you'd be a sensation if you turned up at a club! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
