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Realistic expectations of fab
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What’s your expectations from fab?
I expect the chat to flow, I expect a little (read:a lot of) banter and some sexual innuendo to start.
Then a coffee, see how that goes, maybe more. Not right there in the cafe or the closest hotel room. Maybe not even at all.
Not sure if I’m just being ridiculous.
What’s everyone else’s expectation/experience?
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"I expect nothing. Therefore everything is a bonus!
Same. Just enjoying the experience so far. Not overthinking about socials or meets. Having fun on the forums."
There’s always that. Love the forums. Been here for probably a decade and met some amazing people. Feel it’s changed or maybe I’ve changed  |
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"I expect nothing. Therefore everything is a bonus!
Same. Just enjoying the experience so far. Not overthinking about socials or meets. Having fun on the forums.
There’s always that. Love the forums. Been here for probably a decade and met some amazing people. Feel it’s changed or maybe I’ve changed "
Changed on what way? |
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I have no expectations but I have an approach that I'm comfortable with: deep rooted conversations that are more than superficial, playful messages that are natural and coquettish, lots of humour, lots of matched energies that keep the chat reciprocal...all of this that lasts for weeks and weeks, months even...
Aside from one or two exceptions it's always been a social - usually lunch or cocktails, or even visit to an art gallery, and then a rendezvous at a hotel at a later date. |
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What we would like and what we expect are two completely different things. We want something that starts with a conversation with a couple or a woman. What we get is monosyllabic messages with photos of a penis. Sadly, that is what we have come to expect purely from experience. |
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"Always have low expectations. Anything better than this is a bonus. I have be wonderfully surprised a handful of times. "
I think this applies to most things in life, saves disappointment and sometimes you are reallt surprised  |
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"What’s your expectations from fab?
I expect the chat to flow, I expect a little (read:a lot of) banter and some sexual innuendo to start.
Then a coffee, see how that goes, maybe more. Not right there in the cafe or the closest hotel room. Maybe not even at all.
Not sure if I’m just being ridiculous.
What’s everyone else’s expectation/experience?
"
Thats prob on a par with myself...hopefully..chatting is a nice start, hopefully a social and then just see what shakes out |
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"What we would like and what we expect are two completely different things. We want something that starts with a conversation with a couple or a woman. What we get is monosyllabic messages with photos of a penis. Sadly, that is what we have come to expect purely from experience. "
This is sadly so true! Funny but true! |
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"I have no expectations but I have an approach that I'm comfortable with: deep rooted conversations that are more than superficial, playful messages that are natural and coquettish, lots of humour, lots of matched energies that keep the chat reciprocal...all of this that lasts for weeks and weeks, months even...
Aside from one or two exceptions it's always been a social - usually lunch or cocktails, or even visit to an art gallery, and then a rendezvous at a hotel at a later date."
You sound like the perfect fab man. Shame you’re so far! |
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By *oelMan 2 weeks ago
Midlands, London, Brussels |
"What’s your expectations from fab?
I expect the chat to flow, I expect a little (read:a lot of) banter and some sexual innuendo to start.
Then a coffee, see how that goes, maybe more. Not right there in the cafe or the closest hotel room. Maybe not even at all.
Not sure if I’m just being ridiculous.
What’s everyone else’s expectation/experience?
"
I expect nothing from fab, when it does it's great. It's good for finding meets, and recording verifications a little but that's about it. Balance is too off to expect more |
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"I expect nothing. Therefore everything is a bonus!
Same. Just enjoying the experience so far. Not overthinking about socials or meets. Having fun on the forums.
There’s always that. Love the forums. Been here for probably a decade and met some amazing people. Feel it’s changed or maybe I’ve changed
Changed on what way?"
The forums are quieter, the vibe just feels more serious. Not as many socials (in Scotland anyway). Still the same inbox full of penises(penii) and the “you’re close to me, let’s f*ck” messages.
Have had a few bizarre conversations.
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"I expect nothing. Therefore everything is a bonus!
Same. Just enjoying the experience so far. Not overthinking about socials or meets. Having fun on the forums.
There’s always that. Love the forums. Been here for probably a decade and met some amazing people. Feel it’s changed or maybe I’ve changed
Changed on what way?
The forums are quieter, the vibe just feels more serious. Not as many socials (in Scotland anyway). Still the same inbox full of penises(penii) and the “you’re close to me, let’s f*ck” messages.
Have had a few bizarre conversations.
"
I've never had expectations since joining fab 10 years ago and still don't.
I haven't been meeting for 6 years for personal reasons but I've never been like a child in a sweet shop on here. I'm as fussy as it's possible to be.
In regard to socials, even though I've been to a few and decided they aren't for me I often look at the Ireland forum and well over half of the 35 threads on page one are social related so if anything there are far more socials than there have ever been. |
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My profile will make it seem like I expect a lot, but it's just what I'd ideally like ( people clearly think I'm too ugly for my preferences based on the " you're after a lot" comments), but in reality my expectations are very low based on experiences over the last few years, and the lack of riveting conversations here.
I'm after the whole package and I'm aware that's difficult to find so I have fewer veris than some women on a similar amount of time. I'd rather be choosy as I want the best meets.
I take mutual attraction and successful meets as a bonus on here. They're definitely not a given! |
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"I have no expectations but I have an approach that I'm comfortable with: deep rooted conversations that are more than superficial, playful messages that are natural and coquettish, lots of humour, lots of matched energies that keep the chat reciprocal...all of this that lasts for weeks and weeks, months even...
Aside from one or two exceptions it's always been a social - usually lunch or cocktails, or even visit to an art gallery, and then a rendezvous at a hotel at a later date.
·
You sound like the perfect fab man. Shame you’re so far! "
•
Oh, The Fab Curse™... it's the bane of many women and an obstacle that is hard to vanquish. 🌿  |
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By *itty14Couple 2 weeks ago
kilkenny |
"What’s your expectations from fab?
I expect the chat to flow, I expect a little (read:a lot of) banter and some sexual innuendo to start.
Then a coffee, see how that goes, maybe more. Not right there in the cafe or the closest hotel room. Maybe not even at all.
Not sure if I’m just being ridiculous.
What’s everyone else’s expectation/experience?
This would be us also..great experience for the most part
"
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"I have no expectations but I have an approach that I'm comfortable with: deep rooted conversations that are more than superficial, playful messages that are natural and coquettish, lots of humour, lots of matched energies that keep the chat reciprocal...all of this that lasts for weeks and weeks, months even...
Aside from one or two exceptions it's always been a social - usually lunch or cocktails, or even visit to an art gallery, and then a rendezvous at a hotel at a later date.
·
You sound like the perfect fab man. Shame you’re so far!
•
Oh, The Fab Curse™... it's the bane of many women and an obstacle that is hard to vanquish. 🌿 "
Haha it’s not that hard to vanquish.. easyJet to the rescue |
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By *eliWoman 2 weeks ago
. |
My expectations are that I'll log on, read some nonsense, write some nonsense and at some point I'll see a penis or two. Boobs on a Tuesday.
Fab never fails to meet my expectations, the lucky thing I am. |
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Think locally it varies. There were a few regulars a few years ago, we had a Kik group that then dissolved. Was a lot of fun and interaction plus socially vibrant. Kinda looking for the same but not finding it.
"I expect nothing. Therefore everything is a bonus!
Same. Just enjoying the experience so far. Not overthinking about socials or meets. Having fun on the forums.
There’s always that. Love the forums. Been here for probably a decade and met some amazing people. Feel it’s changed or maybe I’ve changed
Changed on what way?
The forums are quieter, the vibe just feels more serious. Not as many socials (in Scotland anyway). Still the same inbox full of penises(penii) and the “you’re close to me, let’s f*ck” messages.
Have had a few bizarre conversations.
I've never had expectations since joining fab 10 years ago and still don't.
I haven't been meeting for 6 years for personal reasons but I've never been like a child in a sweet shop on here. I'm as fussy as it's possible to be.
In regard to socials, even though I've been to a few and decided they aren't for me I often look at the Ireland forum and well over half of the 35 threads on page one are social related so if anything there are far more socials than there have ever been. "
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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"My expectations are that I'll log on, read some nonsense, write some nonsense and at some point I'll see a penis or two. Boobs on a Tuesday.
Fab never fails to meet my expectations, the lucky thing I am."
This.
People will be annoying.
People will be loud and obnoxious.
I will sometimes be people.
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"We love the social aspect of the scene as well as the play.
Fab is like our social media as well as telegram groups. Leaving veris, finding new friends and loving the content. "
Absolutely, wonder if I’m just looking in the wrong place, or in the wrong age group now lol
Too many men who can’t “perform” |
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"It's very rare to get a woman to chat for any length of time. Some gems on here and in the cam rooms though."
The longer you chat, the less likely to meet. Women pick up red flags, it’s why I wouldn’t meet someone within 24 hours of a message. Need to know you’re not meeting a psychopath first.  |
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I think we are on the same page. Also looking for the whole package without the drama. I’ve been told I’m expecting too much when I tell a guy I’m not interested because he took 3 days to reply but was online every one of those days
"My profile will make it seem like I expect a lot, but it's just what I'd ideally like ( people clearly think I'm too ugly for my preferences based on the " you're after a lot" comments), but in reality my expectations are very low based on experiences over the last few years, and the lack of riveting conversations here.
I'm after the whole package and I'm aware that's difficult to find so I have fewer veris than some women on a similar amount of time. I'd rather be choosy as I want the best meets.
I take mutual attraction and successful meets as a bonus on here. They're definitely not a given!"
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"We love the social aspect of the scene as well as the play.
Fab is like our social media as well as telegram groups. Leaving veris, finding new friends and loving the content.
Absolutely, wonder if I’m just looking in the wrong place, or in the wrong age group now lol
Too many men who can’t “perform” "
There's a lot of pressure to perform. Plus real life problems, stress, health issues. So many other factors. Turns out we're not machines. I have no idea what's going to happen to my body when I get older. Some lads get hard no matter what, some need the right conditions. |
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If you use the site as part of your swinging experience, not the be all and end all, then you'll live a happier life.
Expecting words and pictures rather than face to face interactions to provide you with a means of finding compatible company is naive at best and delusional at worst. Use the site to network and make contact but focus on actual real world interactions such as events, clubs and organised socials if you actually want to benefit long term.
Those that expect little and don't get aggy when messages don't result in meets, use the site tools such as filters and blocks to manage inboxes, and who actually spend time creating a detailed profile rather than just throwing some pretty pictures up and expecting the floodgates to open generally enjoy life more.
Slowly slowly catchee monkey.
As is oft said....it's not instashag. 🤷♂️
Obi |
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I expect people to be relaxed. I rarely meet because i get cold feet if someone sends a double message, or they chase if I haven’t replied in 15 minutes.
Worst of all the dreaded “?” message.
I assume if they behave like that now, it’ll only get worse. |
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"I expect a grown adult that can show respect to women regardless of the circumstances we meet in. The rest is down to chance."
THIS^^^^^
Is this really too much to ask for? I feel very often like I must put out because I’m on fab and that’s what is expected from me. To be absolutely gagging for it and willing to accept anything/everything.
Why? Do we leave our self respect at the door?  |
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"What’s your expectations from fab?
I expect the chat to flow, I expect a little (read:a lot of) banter and some sexual innuendo to start.
Then a coffee, see how that goes, maybe more. Not right there in the cafe or the closest hotel room. Maybe not even at all.
Not sure if I’m just being ridiculous.
What’s everyone else’s expectation/experience?
"
This is exactly what i thought this place would be like when i joined, and ive chatted to a few but a lot give u 1 word answers and dont reply for days i get women are pestered on here a lot but if someones gonna reply, read the profile, see if you like what u see and put a wee bit of effort in, i want a laugh, some banter, a social, and some fun if it goes that way, sometimes it happens, more often it doesnt tho, but here i am, back on for more🤣🤣 |
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"It's very rare to get a woman to chat for any length of time. Some gems on here and in the cam rooms though.
The longer you chat, the less likely to meet. Women pick up red flags, it’s why I wouldn’t meet someone within 24 hours of a message. Need to know you’re not meeting a psychopath first. "
I'm not sure that's necessarily true. The longest I've gone from chatting to meeting has been 6 years! And there have been other lengthy time spans. It comes down to logistics and real life away from here. Though I do agree that the longer chatting goes on without meeting, the more likely red flags are to appear or for boredom to set in. |
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"I expect a grown adult that can show respect to women regardless of the circumstances we meet in. The rest is down to chance.
THIS^^^^^
Is this really too much to ask for? I feel very often like I must put out because I’m on fab and that’s what is expected from me. To be absolutely gagging for it and willing to accept anything/everything.
Why? Do we leave our self respect at the door? "
We are definitely looked down upon and seen as less than by many men just because of where we are. My boundaries, standards and self respect still apply. Places like this are just a way to meet like minded people and it doesn't change your character. I wish more men understood this than the ideology that every hole is a goal. |
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"It's very rare to get a woman to chat for any length of time. Some gems on here and in the cam rooms though.
The longer you chat, the less likely to meet. Women pick up red flags, it’s why I wouldn’t meet someone within 24 hours of a message. Need to know you’re not meeting a psychopath first.
I'm not sure that's necessarily true. The longest I've gone from chatting to meeting has been 6 years! And there have been other lengthy time spans. It comes down to logistics and real life away from here. Though I do agree that the longer chatting goes on without meeting, the more likely red flags are to appear or for boredom to set in."
I’ve met people after a long period for those exact reasons but it has been socially with no future prospects of anything more. They have become friends |
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"cake 🍰
Some boring bugger will come along and mention cake or popcorn to try and be humourous...."
...TRY?! How very dare you!😲
I'm fucking hilarious.
The nuanced layers of humour that went into that four letter contribution to this thread are subtle and considered. Was I eluding to the very mention of cake (you know, by the boring people!! 😱) is an expectation? or, that I have a preference for sweet baked treats if I'm lucky enough to have them offered to me while meeting someone? Either way, it got a reply... mission accomplished, boring/funny or not! 🤪 |
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"I expect a grown adult that can show respect to women regardless of the circumstances we meet in. The rest is down to chance.
THIS^^^^^
Is this really too much to ask for? I feel very often like I must put out because I’m on fab and that’s what is expected from me. To be absolutely gagging for it and willing to accept anything/everything.
Why? Do we leave our self respect at the door?
We are definitely looked down upon and seen as less than by many men just because of where we are. My boundaries, standards and self respect still apply. Places like this are just a way to meet like minded people and it doesn't change your character. I wish more men understood this than the ideology that every hole is a goal."
This and absolutely this! It’s quite frustrating that we are expected to leave our standards at the login… |
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"cake 🍰
Some boring bugger will come along and mention cake or popcorn to try and be humourous....
...TRY?! How very dare you!😲
I'm fucking hilarious.
The nuanced layers of humour that went into that four letter contribution to this thread are subtle and considered. Was I eluding to the very mention of cake (you know, by the boring people!! 😱) is an expectation? or, that I have a preference for sweet baked treats if I'm lucky enough to have them offered to me while meeting someone? Either way, it got a reply... mission accomplished, boring/funny or not! 🤪"
Hahaha I think you may be my new friend. |
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"I expect people to be relaxed. I rarely meet because i get cold feet if someone sends a double message, or they chase if I haven’t replied in 15 minutes.
Worst of all the dreaded “?” message.
I assume if they behave like that now, it’ll only get worse."
100 %
All of the above are frustrating. The begging for meet as well |
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"cake 🍰
Some boring bugger will come along and mention cake or popcorn to try and be humourous....
...TRY?! How very dare you!😲
I'm fucking hilarious.
The nuanced layers of humour that went into that four letter contribution to this thread are subtle and considered. Was I eluding to the very mention of cake (you know, by the boring people!! 😱) is an expectation? or, that I have a preference for sweet baked treats if I'm lucky enough to have them offered to me while meeting someone? Either way, it got a reply... mission accomplished, boring/funny or not! 🤪
Hahaha I think you may be my new friend. "
...but do you have cake? 🍰 |
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I’ve been on and off fab for around 20 years. for the first 10 years it was amazing, most weekends I could log on and arrange a meet within a few hours. I mainly had straight mmm or fucked a wife in front of hubby. Im not sure if my meets dried
up once I was no longer a young guy or if fabs dynamic changed, but now my expectations are hopefully a chat. I’d love another meet, I can only dream. |
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"cake 🍰
Some boring bugger will come along and mention cake or popcorn to try and be humourous....
...TRY?! How very dare you!😲
I'm fucking hilarious.
The nuanced layers of humour that went into that four letter contribution to this thread are subtle and considered. Was I eluding to the very mention of cake (you know, by the boring people!! 😱) is an expectation? or, that I have a preference for sweet baked treats if I'm lucky enough to have them offered to me while meeting someone? Either way, it got a reply... mission accomplished, boring/funny or not! 🤪
Hahaha I think you may be my new friend.
...but do you have cake? 🍰"
So much cake… I’ve made 3 this week alone - not even joking |
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It does seem very difficult to get any traction here.
I'm on fabguys as well and men in general are more direct about what they want (and also have the male privilege of not expecting to be cut up and dumped in a bin, although it has occasionally happened: homophobe catfishing is real, people and keep your bullshit filters turned up to 10)
I guess the main problem is women get swamped with messages, men don't. |
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"You sound like the perfect fab man. Shame you’re so far!
•
Oh, The Fab Curse™... it's the bane of many women and an obstacle that is hard to vanquish. 🌿
·
Haha it’s not that hard to vanquish.. easyJet to the rescue "
•
Terribly sorry but I don't bonk any crumpet that travels on budget carriers. It has to be a proper scheduled national flag carrier such as British Caledonian or Imperial Airways. Failing that, British Airways. ✈️🧳 🙂 |
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"You sound like the perfect fab man. Shame you’re so far!
•
Oh, The Fab Curse™... it's the bane of many women and an obstacle that is hard to vanquish. 🌿
·
Haha it’s not that hard to vanquish.. easyJet to the rescue
•
Terribly sorry but I don't bonk any crumpet that travels on budget carriers. It has to be a proper scheduled national flag carrier such as British Caledonian or Imperial Airways. Failing that, British Airways. ✈️🧳 🙂"
I’ll have you know I’m a Warburtons crumpet. Not just any… pfft. Toasted with lurpak butter melting on top. Consider yourself dismissed.. |
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"It does seem very difficult to get any traction here.
I'm on fabguys as well and men in general are more direct about what they want (and also have the male privilege of not expecting to be cut up and dumped in a bin, although it has occasionally happened: homophobe catfishing is real, people and keep your bullshit filters turned up to 10)
I guess the main problem is women get swamped with messages, men don't. "
Yes a lot of messages, not many of substance though and after you’ve deleted/blocked the ones that are never going to seem attractive, the rest feel like a chore. |
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"Yes a lot of messages, not many of substance though and after you’ve deleted/blocked the ones that are never going to seem attractive, the rest feel like a chore. "
As somebody who presents wearing lingerie on fabguys although not an out and out TV (I try to stress that I am all man on my profile) I get at least a sense of the shitaclysm women must get all the time: a lot of messages that are all about what HE wants (usually ultra basic) and nothing in return.
At least it makes you treasure the ones who make even a modicum of effort that little bit more. |
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"Any expectations vanished about 3 weeks after joining here, just really log in to nosey and have a read through the forum threads"
Well that’s what I’m pretty much doing but been here a lot longer than 3 weeks lol |
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"Yes a lot of messages, not many of substance though and after you’ve deleted/blocked the ones that are never going to seem attractive, the rest feel like a chore.
As somebody who presents wearing lingerie on fabguys although not an out and out TV (I try to stress that I am all man on my profile) I get at least a sense of the shitaclysm women must get all the time: a lot of messages that are all about what HE wants (usually ultra basic) and nothing in return.
At least it makes you treasure the ones who make even a modicum of effort that little bit more."
Very true! There are a few gems. |
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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Fab members offering non judgmental but objective comments,
The openness ( probably ) is the only platform for like minded people to meet and discuss issues that affect us all  |
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"I go to clubs, make an effort there and it works fine! Fab is for browsing only. "
For me, apart from forum stuff, Fab is only for keeping in touch with people I have already met at clubs. Not for meeting new people actively.
World's worst dating site. |
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"I go to clubs, make an effort there and it works fine! Fab is for browsing only.
For me, apart from forum stuff, Fab is only for keeping in touch with people I have already met at clubs. Not for meeting new people actively.
World's worst dating site."
Haha not true. There’s way worse. Met my last situationship here 6 years ago. |
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Never had any expectations other than chat to people, make friend's meet see what happens.
People who say they have zero expectations I'm suspicious of because if you put zero in you get a zero out. And if you put effort in and expect nothing back and there is something not quite right. |
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By *ino200Man 2 weeks ago
Bournemouth,london and Sienna |
"What’s your expectations from fab?
I expect the chat to flow, I expect a little (read:a lot of) banter and some sexual innuendo to start.
Then a coffee, see how that goes, maybe more. Not right there in the cafe or the closest hotel room. Maybe not even at all.
Not sure if I’m just being ridiculous.
What’s everyone else’s expectation/experience?
"
I expect everything and get nothing so frustrating ,i am unrealistic |
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I don't have expectations of it really, ideally to meet likeminded people that I find attractive etc, that doesnt always happen. I think if anything it's become harder or more infrequent should I say that I do come across people that I would want to meet. |
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My experience of actual meets has been spontaneity, right place at right time and everything working in a short space of time. I find that people go cold after a while. And I’m sure I do once I’ve passed maximum horn. |
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