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2nd, 3rd, 8th choice
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 weeks ago
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"How do you realise? Genuine question."
Sometimes you just know.
When you were never their type, just a fill in until someone more their type came along. |
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If it’s just for casual NSA fun should it matter?
I mean relationship wise, hell no! And sexually I don’t like to share, but if you go into a NSA FWB situation where they have been upfront about seeing others then I think you have to take it on the chin.
Which is why I don’t do casual sex, as I’m not built for it emotionally! |
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It's not hard to work out.
For example we started seeing someone regularly, and he was asking for us to meet up and we managed to get a Monday evening free. He said he couldn't do Monday because he'll be tired after the first day back at work. The idiot then published a veri for the same evening.
Nah mate. Jog the fuck on. |
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I usually feel like people who are interested are only interested because they're struggling to find meets, do I'm probably the last choice in most scenarios. I never feel I'm top of someone's to meet list ( if they have one ), and it would be nice to occasionally feel like someone is really excited to meet me.
I need to accept I'm unlikely to ever be someone's first, second, third etc choice for meeting. Beggars can't be choosers but I'm choosy anyway!
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"It's not hard to work out.
For example we started seeing someone regularly, and he was asking for us to meet up and we managed to get a Monday evening free. He said he couldn't do Monday because he'll be tired after the first day back at work. The idiot then published a veri for the same evening.
Nah mate. Jog the fuck on. "
But, but, but, veri's are not always published associated with the day the person has met, my old account sometimes the verifications were weeks after meeting.
However, having said that, it does sound like he was probably a dick and missed out as a result (honestly talk about having your cake but missing out on the three course meal!)  |
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"I usually feel like people who are interested are only interested because they're struggling to find meets, do I'm probably the last choice in most scenarios. I never feel I'm top of someone's to meet list ( if they have one ), and it would be nice to occasionally feel like someone is really excited to meet me.
I need to accept I'm unlikely to ever be someone's first, second, third etc choice for meeting. Beggars can't be choosers but I'm choosy anyway!
"
Eliza, I sense that you might get quite a few replies challenging your low self esteem. |
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"It's not hard to work out.
For example we started seeing someone regularly, and he was asking for us to meet up and we managed to get a Monday evening free. He said he couldn't do Monday because he'll be tired after the first day back at work. The idiot then published a veri for the same evening.
Nah mate. Jog the fuck on.
But, but, but, veri's are not always published associated with the day the person has met, my old account sometimes the verifications were weeks after meeting.
However, having said that, it does sound like he was probably a dick and missed out as a result (honestly talk about having your cake but missing out on the three course meal!) "
He was very shady with his veris and wouldn't publish them for a good while after his meets. He thought he had pulled the wool over my eyes, but no..the dates added up.
Don't care if people meet others. There's just no reason for BS. I'm more attracted to men that can actually lie straight in bed. |
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By *Effy-Woman 2 weeks ago
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I don't want to be anyone's second choice. If I found out I was because the better option didn't work out for whatever reason, it would be done.
That being said, on here I know I'm not the only one and I'm fine with that as long as my energy is being matched. |
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"Well according to what I read on this site, TVs and gays are the last resort for some when all the women tell them no.
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That always makes me laugh that statement. Thou doth protest too much. I think unfortunately thats just an excuse for people insecure about there sexuality so it makes them feel better to say that bless them. |
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By *eliWoman 2 weeks ago
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If a friend of mine had posted similar topics before and was in that mindset, I'd gently point out to them that they deserve more than to be questioning themselves like this. Regardless of how dickstruck they were, how severe the prettification of penis because of like.
If their behaviour was making them sad, they should take a step back. Stop revisiting penises that make them doubt themselves. Work on their confidence.
I want to be someone's first choice in *that* moment of time. They're fucking me because they want to. If I felt they weren't particularly interested or I was a vagholder for who they really wanted, I'd lose interest.
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"Stop revisiting penises that make them doubt themselves."
1000% this Meli! 🙌
Yes great sex is great, but if it leaves you feeling like shit in the long run it’s just not worth it. And you HAVE to wean yourself off them. It is hard, but it’s better for you in the long run.
Stop comparing every other penis to theirs and just ……give others a chance is what I would say.
Never think you can change someone or make them want just you, and only you. It rarely works out like that and you just waste time on someone/something that isn’t worth it.
💪
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I've said a number of times here that I've never had a no show but I know for a fact I was a plan b on 2 occasions.
I contacted one woman on the day we had agreed to meet and she said she had to work through her lunch and may also have to work late but she would let me know by the time I was leaving work.
I heard nothing so headed for home rather than the opposite direction to where we had arranged to meet. When I was almost home she messaged to say she hoped I had gone home as she was still in work.
The next day she had 2 new verifications. One from a lunchtime hotel meet when she claimed she was working and another which for some reason specifically named the coffee shop she were to meet in.
She asked for another meet a couple of weeks later and I said no as I didn't appreciate being her backup option.
Another woman who used to complain on the forums about being stood up constantly told me she would be in Belfast a few days later and we arranged to meet for coffee. We had a proper conversation about the fact that her hotel was literally minutes from where I was working at the time so it wasn't out of my way.
Once again I contacted her that morning to confirm that she had arrived safely and that we were still on for coffee that afternoon.
She feigned suprise and said she had no memory of ever agreeing to meet me and wouldn't have arranged a fab meet as she was in the city for non fab reasons.
She couldn't explain how I knew that she was there and where she was staying if she hadn't told me when we organised a time.
Again I rolled my eyes and went home and the next morning she had a new verification from a well known forum using couple.
I'm no one's Plan B and anyone thinking otherwise doesn't get a second chance |
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I think I've carried on even after realising it as they made a point to tell me how much I meant to them and I ended up taking that at face value despite their actions telling me different.
It's a shit feeling and one that comes with overthinking, constant second guessing and pining to be enough for them that shatters your confidence when that doesn't happen. I'm not sure who the OP was, but I hope they can take a break to find themselves and realise they are enough and they don't need to settle for being a second choice and all the baggage that comes with it. |
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I don't need to be somebody's first choice/soulmate, every relationship is important for different reasons. What's wrong Is when you're being used and held as a backup when your heart is with someone else who is unavailable , that's just pure evil ! |
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"I don't need to be somebody's first choice/soulmate, every relationship is important for different reasons. What's wrong Is when you're being used and held as a backup when your heart is with someone else who is unavailable , that's just pure evil ! "
This is why I keep my distance from people (unless in a relationship) |
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