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By *vaRoseWoman 1 week ago
Ankh-Morpork |
Woman DROWNING in messages discovers radical new invention called “message filters”.
Experts say breakthrough could save thousands from replying to “hey” at 2am.
Full Fab tips from Francine on page 17. |
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By *vaRoseWoman 1 week ago
Ankh-Morpork |
BREAKING NEWS!
Wimbledon used knicker hide and seek champion officially BANNED from Geocaching Association after officials claim “it’s not technically family friendly”
Clive 48 fumes “This is political correctness gone mad. Being horny is a Democratic right, I bet it’s the lefty snowflakes fault” |
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BREAKING NEWS
Man managed to garner meet with hot lady without having 95 pics of his penis inside random vaginas on his profile!
Go to page 5 to see why not seeing the splatter all over genitals is the way forward.
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Breaking news
Man says grey aliens are deliberately interfering with fab forum threads to make him look silly.
Stanley , 21( honest ) from the North of England claims that the reason he is always found out on “ secret message” threads is because intelligent alien visitors are purposefully sabotaging his brilliant messages. He went in to clarify “ yeah well they’re like super evolved like, and they use their super mind control powers to transmit my thoughts to the message recipients. Not sure why, mebbe they see me as a threat? Ye kna they dint want me having kids with all the hot lasses like, coz then we’d have a race of super humans that they could n’t tek owa”
Our reporter did reach out to some message recipients to ask for their side of events, so far none have replied, perhaps he should have sent a dick pick. |
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EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!
FabSwingers Wins Election To Run For Government. Forum Mods To Tidy Up The Old Sticky Mess In Need Of Relubricating. Going To Be A Sticky Affair, Will Definitely Need A Lot More Lube!
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.....Scramble! Scramble!.....
Horny Men Intercepted By Brave T-Girls In Small Hours Thriller!
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Our reporter spends a night with the brave T-girls on call 24/7 in their full warpaint and sexiest lingerie. Ready to leap into action at a moment's notice at 3AM to ensure that every random horny man's sexual urges get a full response!
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Full photo story in center spread |
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*** Horror in Suburbia! ***
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Man left mentally scarred after TV loses her wig in throes of late night passion!
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* "I threw my head back over the sideof the bed, and my hair just kept going!"
* "...one second she was gorgeous, the next, she was a... a man!!"
* "... I'm straight! Don't you understand? STRAIGHT!"
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By *vaRoseWoman 1 week ago
Ankh-Morpork |
"*** Horror in Suburbia! ***
.
Man left mentally scarred after TV loses her wig in throes of late night passion!
.
* "I threw my head back over the sideof the bed, and my hair just kept going!"
* "...one second she was gorgeous, the next, she was a... a man!!"
* "... I'm straight! Don't you understand? STRAIGHT!"
"
🤣 |
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Breaking news
Man discovers on his first meet, woman is actually a fella with micropenis
Later, when asked about portraying himself as a woman, he replied, with this small thing I may as well be a woman |
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"BREAKING NEWS
Scientist finally answer the ultimate questions
“IS IT GAY IF …”
We bring an exclusive report from our Sydney University Correspondant Harry Azcrack"
🤣🤣🤣
Harry Azcrack 🤣🤣🤣
not related to Ben Dover by any chance, is he?! |
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📰 Sex with Greggs Pasty boiled my bellend
📰 Badger Cull Lesbians sat on my face
📰 Nik Naks turned my bellend orange
📰 Ten years ago the lotto made me a millionaire, now I suck off dogs for quavers
📰 I stuck 9 creme eggs up my bum
📰 Mentos and Diet Cọka-Cola enema nearly cost me my arse
📰 I was proud to stretch 27 loom bands around my willy ...then my bellend burst |
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"📰 Sex with Greggs Pasty boiled my bellend
📰 Badger Cull Lesbians sat on my face
📰 Nik Naks turned my bellend orange
📰 Ten years ago the lotto made me a millionaire, now I suck off dogs for quavers
📰 I stuck 9 creme eggs up my bum
📰 Mentos and Diet Cọka-Cola enema nearly cost me my arse
📰 I was proud to stretch 27 loom bands around my willy ...then my bellend burst"
...true stories. |
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By *vaRoseWoman 1 week ago
Ankh-Morpork |
"📰 Sex with Greggs Pasty boiled my bellend
📰 Badger Cull Lesbians sat on my face
📰 Nik Naks turned my bellend orange
📰 Ten years ago the lotto made me a millionaire, now I suck off dogs for quavers
📰 I stuck 9 creme eggs up my bum
📰 Mentos and Diet Cọka-Cola enema nearly cost me my arse
📰 I was proud to stretch 27 loom bands around my willy ...then my bellend burst"
Adding loom bands to my kink kit
📝 |
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Revelation by Dr Felicity Lovesacock
Brings out her New Book titled:
"Life Is A Lot Like Penis"
Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely...
then a woman makes it hard.
No doubt, will be a best seller...!
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Unidentified fab straight man increases radius to find someone to increase his radius.
Speaking under conditions of anonymity, Rodger, 38, from 146 Station Road, Basingstoke, told our reporter ‘the are too many silhouette heads on fab. I want to be the first silhouette asshole’.
Analysis of this asshole on Page 5. We also review his photo. |
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"📰 Sex with Greggs Pasty boiled my bellend
📰 Badger Cull Lesbians sat on my face
📰 Nik Naks turned my bellend orange
📰 Ten years ago the lotto made me a millionaire, now I suck off dogs for quavers
📰 I stuck 9 creme eggs up my bum
📰 Mentos and Diet Cọka-Cola enema nearly cost me my arse
📰 I was proud to stretch 27 loom bands around my willy ...then my bellend burst
...true stories."
Yup!!!
All, shockingly, geniune Headlines (Albeit the Sunday Sport!) |
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By *vaRoseWoman 1 week ago
Ankh-Morpork |
"Unidentified fab straight man increases radius to find someone to increase his radius.
Speaking under conditions of anonymity, Rodger, 38, from 146 Station Road, Basingstoke, told our reporter ‘the are too many silhouette heads on fab. I want to be the first silhouette asshole’.
Analysis of this asshole on Page 5. We also review his photo. "
“…. to increase his radius”
🤣 |
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By *vaRoseWoman 1 week ago
Ankh-Morpork |
SHOCKING!
Not all women into anal are into receiving!
“I asked if she wanted anal, she said she loved it. Then she pulled out her dildo! My arse will never me the same!”
We bring you a special report by our health correspondent Dr. Neil Down |
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Breaking News
Man admits he is single and not a couple as it describes in his profile.He says he gets more fiddle fodder this way.Males are asking rather daring questions about his wife.It gives him enough material for his fantasy sausage massage. |
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Breaking news
Still no resolution of the “ who has the best arse taking cock pic or vids” question. A Clacton based individual who wished to remain anonymous, indicated the lack of a conclusion was entirely down to small boats.
Some analysts are suggesting that should the current position continue much longer it could result in a snap general election being called.
Number 10 has declined to comment. |
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Breaking News ❗️❗️❗️
Just in Brian the Fab forumite (not his real name) has been found guilty of trying to steal sperm samples from a local sperm bank.
Brian previous would save his own in a syringe and stick it in the freezer but sadly his freezer broke and they couldn't deliver a new one until the weekend!
Tomorrow we cover Fungal nails, stay tuned, it's a toe curler  |
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By *mf123Man 1 week ago
with one foot out the door |
"Breaking News ❗️❗️❗️
Just in Brian the Fab forumite (not his real name) has been found guilty of trying to steal sperm samples from a local sperm bank.
Brian previous would save his own in a syringe and stick it in the freezer but sadly his freezer broke and they couldn't deliver a new one until the weekend!
Tomorrow we cover Fungal nails, stay tuned, it's a toe curler "
you should be on tv |
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"Breaking News ❗️❗️❗️
Just in Brian the Fab forumite (not his real name) has been found guilty of trying to steal sperm samples from a local sperm bank.
Brian previous would save his own in a syringe and stick it in the freezer but sadly his freezer broke and they couldn't deliver a new one until the weekend!
Tomorrow we cover Fungal nails, stay tuned, it's a toe curler you should be on tv "
I tried but the screens are far too slim these days for my fat arse  |
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By *mf123Man 1 week ago
with one foot out the door |
"Breaking News ❗️❗️❗️
Just in Brian the Fab forumite (not his real name) has been found guilty of trying to steal sperm samples from a local sperm bank.
Brian previous would save his own in a syringe and stick it in the freezer but sadly his freezer broke and they couldn't deliver a new one until the weekend!
Tomorrow we cover Fungal nails, stay tuned, it's a toe curler you should be on tv
I tried but the screens are far too slim these days for my fat arse "
give over everyone has a 55incher these days  |
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Breaking News
Un-named sources confirmed that a collection of 365 used condoms has been found in a residence in North West England, the owner who wished to remain anonymous confirmed "it's been a good year" |
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Headline.
An investigation has been launched by GMP following a spate of car thefts.
One of the victims spoke to our reporter.
"We went to this party, and all threw our car keys into this bowl, you know, like in the old days, at the end of the night the only key left was for a moped" |
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"Woman DROWNING in messages discovers radical new invention called “message filters”.
Experts say breakthrough could save thousands from replying to “hey” at 2am.
Full Fab tips from Francine on page 17."
That FILTER button is so wonderful, the best invention on the site |
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