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Should you go through your partners phone?
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By *hagTonight OP Man 7 days ago
From the land of haribos. |
I read a post about how someone didnt want her partner to look through her phone, she said how they got into a big argument over it, she also mentioned how it wasnt cheating and said how she felt an invasion of her privacy to check things like her messages and pictures.
It would be interesting to see what your view of it is and would you let your partner look at your phone? Is there things like special boundaries in a relationship to respect eachothers privacy?
I dont have a partner but if I did. I would let them do it. I dont have anything to hide. I would of course wonder why they felt the need to do it. I guess they would have some trust issues too  |
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I wonder where this notion that two people need to blend into one in a relationship comes from.
I don’t have a partner but if I did I would neither let him access my phone or want to access his. I either trust someone or I don’t. |
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By *vaRoseWoman 7 days ago
Ankh-Morpork |
I regularly get my husband to check things for me on my phone, and vice versa. We know each other’s passcodes, and neither of us would think twice about handing our phone over if the other needed something.
For me, the difference is trust and intent. Giving access because it’s convenient and practical, is one thing. Demanding access because you don’t trust your partner, or feeling the need to monitor them, is another entirely.
Let’s try not to normalise surveillance and inspections as if that’s a healthy thing to do. |
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Quickly using a partner's phone in their presence to look up the weather? Fine. "Going through" a partner's phone? Absolutely not fine. I have conversations with friends and family on there with private information about their lives which isn't mine to share. I have my therapy notes. I don't share that with anyone.
If someone feels moved to delve into someone's private space for some sort of reassurance or evidence gathering then there's no trust, and, ultimately, a very poor relationship foundation. |
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The second you feel the need to look, the relationship is already in trouble. If someone is doing something they shouldn't, no amount of monitoring is going to change that.
Save your peace and walk away. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 7 days ago
From the land of haribos. |
"You should respect people's privacy. If there not honest with you then there phones the least of your worries. It would be nice if everyone was honest. "
Yes, you should respect peoples privacy too  |
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It's a private place for someone, until they consent to give access. Respecting boundaries is essential and healthy. I'm single and would question anyone who felt the need to be intrusive and controlling |
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My partner knows my password and I know hers we both know we have noting to hide from each other. But we never go through each others phone. We used each others phone all the time to Google stuff or what ever. Healthy relationship means no reason to sneak about |
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By *ino200Man 7 days ago
Bournemouth,london and Sienna |
"I read a post about how someone didnt want her partner to look through her phone, she said how they got into a big argument over it, she also mentioned how it wasnt cheating and said how she felt an invasion of her privacy to check things like her messages and pictures.
It would be interesting to see what your view of it is and would you let your partner look at your phone? Is there things like special boundaries in a relationship to respect eachothers privacy?
I dont have a partner but if I did. I would let them do it. I dont have anything to hide. I would of course wonder why they felt the need to do it. I guess they would have some trust issues too "
You let the government do it why not your partner  |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 7 days ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I regularly get my husband to check things for me on my phone, and vice versa. We know each other’s passcodes, and neither of us would think twice about handing our phone over if the other needed something.
For me, the difference is trust and intent. Giving access because it’s convenient and practical, is one thing. Demanding access because you don’t trust your partner, or feeling the need to monitor them, is another entirely.
Let’s try not to normalise surveillance and inspections as if that’s a healthy thing to do."
Hi eva, that is good how you regularly get your husband to check things for you on your phone, yes, you are right there, the difference is trust and intent too |
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No. Never do that. You don't always like your partner and vice versa. That doesn't mean you don't love them, but sometimes that irritating knut will wind you up. You might want to express your disapproval to get it out of your system, but you don't want them to know about it. If that knut knew, they would probably do it even more.
You don't need to know what porn they watch, or if they are shagging one of your relatives. This isn't a soap opera, it is real life. If they are still with you and so annoying you could scream, then life is going ok. If they check your phone they might find out what you are up to and you don't want that. Siphoning off all that cash to a secret account in case of a rainy day might not look so good. That knee trembler over the beer barrels from 20 years ago that their distant cousin reminds you about every now and then isn't going away. Keep it secret. Keep it safe.
Get yourself a burner phone. One for baking powder and tinder dates. One as clean as a nuns knickers filled with photos of kittens in mittens and praise for your darling children. You know which one to stash somewhere safe. |
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When my husband was cheating on me he started keeping his phone on him, instead of leaving it on the table.
Christmas Eve he fell asleep on the sofa with it on his chest and got a text just after midnight.
I took the phone off his chest and read the text that confirmed what I had suspected.
I probably would have checked his phone before then, if I had had the chance. |
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By *iver78Man 7 days ago
barton upon humber |
"I wonder where this notion that two people need to blend into one in a relationship comes from.
I don’t have a partner but if I did I would neither let him access my phone or want to access his. I either trust someone or I don’t."
Same situation. And same opinion |
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My partner and myself will look at each others messages and vids only when it comes to our respective solo playtime with others.
It very much feeds each others kinks and it's incredibly hot.🔥
We don't know each others password and have no desire to know it, anything else in our phones is private and we're very comfortable with that. |
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For me personally you should respect the other person's privacy . If you feel the need to go through your partner's phone that shows that there is a lack of trust and that isn't a good sign in any relationship. On the other hand I would also be happy for a partner to view mine as I have both Ng to hide so I guess if it is made a massive deal with over the top reactions to mentioning it in a passive way as if hiding something that could also be a sign of concern. Hope that came out right but really everyone should respect peivacy and personal boundaries |
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Absolutely not.
I wouldn't dream of going through Paul's phone, especially his work phone or his private one.
I will pick it up if ringing but wouldn't just presume to answer it. Sometimes it will ring, I shout the name shown and he will shake his head...
Same with mail, wouldn't dream of opening a letter, unless he is happy for me to do so.
The same applies to my phone but getting Paul to even pick my phone up when it rings is almost impossible.
Its not about trust, its good manners and privacy.
Bank accounts are the same.
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With my last ex, there were definitely times where I did think “I really want to know what she’s doing on that phone”
One time we were both laying on the bed and I saw a notification from a dating app appear on her phone and she grabbed it so fast.
Another time for absolutely no reason she kicked off about nothing and literally didn’t speak to me for weeks and I kept seeing her come online on WhatsApp but not messaging me which made me wonder who she was talking to (she didn’t have much social life)
But did I ever go through her phone, nope!
Most of us have been using generations of the same phone, I have years of my life on mine, pictures, work, emails, conversations, bank details, everything is on here. I would hate for someone to go through my personal stuff and so I would never do it to a person I care about |
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"I read a post about how someone didnt want her partner to look through her phone, she said how they got into a big argument over it, she also mentioned how it wasnt cheating and said how she felt an invasion of her privacy to check things like her messages and pictures.
It would be interesting to see what your view of it is and would you let your partner look at your phone? Is there things like special boundaries in a relationship to respect eachothers privacy?
I dont have a partner but if I did. I would let them do it. I dont have anything to hide. I would of course wonder why they felt the need to do it. I guess they would have some trust issues too "
Im not bothered actually, sometimes I use his phone if mines dead and vice versa. He has never asked to look at it and me neither but it wouldn't bother me. I'd be more intrigued to know why he wanted to look at it rather than thinking about respect of my privacy 🤷♀️. I couldn't be with someone who didnt trust me. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 7 days ago
From the land of haribos. |
"It's a private place for someone, until they consent to give access. Respecting boundaries is essential and healthy. I'm single and would question anyone who felt the need to be intrusive and controlling "
Yes, it is a private place for someone. I would question it too |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 7 days ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Quickly using a partner's phone in their presence to look up the weather? Fine. "Going through" a partner's phone? Absolutely not fine. I have conversations with friends and family on there with private information about their lives which isn't mine to share. I have my therapy notes. I don't share that with anyone.
If someone feels moved to delve into someone's private space for some sort of reassurance or evidence gathering then there's no trust, and, ultimately, a very poor relationship foundation."
Yes, you are right there, it is fine to look up that in their presence, yes, if they do that then there is a very poor relationship foundation too |
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"I regularly get my husband to check things for me on my phone, and vice versa. We know each other’s passcodes, and neither of us would think twice about handing our phone over if the other needed something.
For me, the difference is trust and intent. Giving access because it’s convenient and practical, is one thing. Demanding access because you don’t trust your partner, or feeling the need to monitor them, is another entirely.
Let’s try not to normalise surveillance and inspections as if that’s a healthy thing to do."
We are exactly the same as this , I probably use my partners phone more than he does because I only have the free version of chat gpt and he has unlimited. Also when he’s driving he asks me to check emails for him or to text his mum to say what time we arriving if we arriving late etc.
We both know each others passcodes and often use each others phones for random things like if mines nearer and there’s a beautiful woodpecker in the garden he grabbed mine to take a photo as his was in the office!
We trust each other explicitly and absolutely have nothing to hide. |
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"I wonder where this notion that two people need to blend into one in a relationship comes from.
"
Outdated patriacal notion, stems from a time where women were subserviant to men, had no voice, had no rights, in essence the couple were blended into one with the male dominent.
I know things have moved forward, but its still male dominated, women still take the husbands name when married. |
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In short, no.
The desire to go through your partner's phone because you don't trust them is indicative if your faith in them. Projection is a bitch.
I value honesty. If I truly think my partner is hiding things from me on their phone, the relationship is already dead 💜 |
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Gosh no. I don't have anything to hide, it's just not necessary for them to do that, and if they want to then there's problems imo. An ex went through my phone during a wobbly patch in our relationship, we perhaps could have got through the wobble but that was a massive problem for me and I couldn't (or rather, didn't want to) forgive that. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 7 days ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I wonder where this notion that two people need to blend into one in a relationship comes from.
I don’t have a partner but if I did I would neither let him access my phone or want to access his. I either trust someone or I don’t."
Yes, it is about if you trust them or not too |
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you shouldnt however that is partly the reason we are on here and tried swinging out i went on the mrs phone and ended up looking at old messages and come across chats that she was having with old partners then on one chat there was a few pictures and too my suprise a couple of videos was still saved where she was sucking a cock twice the size of mine at first i felt sick seeing it then the hard on came and i instantly cum the second i touched my cock ever since then i got off on her having fun with other people |
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"If someone demanded to look at my phone, it would piss me off. Both me and hubby know each other's passwords, but would never to snooping. It's called trust."
Totally agree, trust is everything in a relationship. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 7 days ago
From the land of haribos. |
"The second you feel the need to look, the relationship is already in trouble. If someone is doing something they shouldn't, no amount of monitoring is going to change that.
Save your peace and walk away."
Yes, you are right there, if you feel the need to look, the relationship is already in trouble too |
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"If someone demanded to look at my phone, it would piss me off. Both me and hubby know each other's passwords, but would never to snooping. It's called trust.
Totally agree, trust is everything in a relationship. "
💯 |
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I don't agree with it at all, if they ask I would let them. I never have anything to hide if I'm in a relationship, I've never cheated on anyone. But if my partner checked my phone secretly it would lose trust and respect because I wouldn't do it to them |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 6 days ago
From the land of haribos. |
"If someone demanded to look at my phone, it would piss me off. Both me and hubby know each other's passwords, but would never to snooping. It's called trust."
That is good how both of you know each others passwords, yes, it is called trust too |
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I'm not about to police whether someone is gonna cheat on me.
Cheaters are gonna cheat and looking through their phone won't stop that. They'll just get sneakier.
Everyone is entitled to privacy
I use my notes app like a journal/sounding board
Nobody needs to read my nightshift ramblings 😂 |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 6 days ago
From the land of haribos. |
"That scenario sounds like a form of monitoring and control which is absolutely not okay and deeply unhealthy within a relationship. "
Yes, that scenario is deeply unhealthy within a relationship too |
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By *4bimMan 6 days ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
one women i was dating briefly while i was sleeping took my finger to swipe open my phone so she could look into it.
sadly for her i knew what she was doing, opened my eyes and asked what she was playing at. i got dressed, left and never spoke to her again.
i had nothing to hide but she clearly had trust issues so i left silently without word. |
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Partner has my passcode. I can't remember hers but other than using it to access things to free up the other person and act as a second pair of hands it's no snooping from me. Honesty is best I have a high sex drive she can't keep up with but has no problem with me being here asking as I don't flaunt it in front of her. |
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By *inkShyWoman 5 days ago
near Windsor |
I don't care if someone goes through my phone, have nothing to hide. My best friends know my pin number.
I went through my exes phone once when I had a gut feeling. Feeling was right, no need to go through it again as I left. |
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I've never cared when I've been in a relationship. They can do what they want on it if they wish.
I don't just randomly go through someone's phone, I did once but he was cheating and I knew he was but he wouldn't admit it and made out I was being crazy.
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"I've never cared when I've been in a relationship. They can do what they want on it if they wish.
I don't just randomly go through someone's phone, I did once but he was cheating and I knew he was but he wouldn't admit it and made out I was being crazy.
"
Ask yourself why he was cheating. I have absolutely no qualms about anybody going through my phone. IF however somebody was nosey enough to secretly do it I’d begin to wonder why..
If he was cheating BEFORE then I do understand but if you had those suspicions then why keep it going?
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We both know we can use each others phones, but generally we dont. Given the nature of things he will ask if he wants to see communication with guys I'm meeting etc which is entirely valid but other than that... Nah, we are so open it's be weird if one of us cheated and lets be honest if you secretly want access to your partners phone, that is what you are looking for. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 4 days ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Absolutely not.
I wouldn't dream of going through Paul's phone, especially his work phone or his private one.
I will pick it up if ringing but wouldn't just presume to answer it. Sometimes it will ring, I shout the name shown and he will shake his head...
Same with mail, wouldn't dream of opening a letter, unless he is happy for me to do so.
The same applies to my phone but getting Paul to even pick my phone up when it rings is almost impossible.
Its not about trust, its good manners and privacy.
Bank accounts are the same.
"
That is good how you would pick it up if it is ringing, but wouldnt just presume to answer it, yes, it is about good manners and privacy too |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 12 hours ago
From the land of haribos. |
"If there are very good reasons for the suspicion & lack of trust, I think it’s a reasonable request.
For baseless suspicion, absolutely not.
In short, it depends on the circumstances."
Yes, you are right there, it also depends on the circumstances too |
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By *EAT..85Woman 12 hours ago
Nottingham |
I often give my phone to the bf to do stuff on as we each have nothing to hide hide. I will clear down any message pre-reads out of respect, but if he chooses to look at my messages and see raunchy conversations with others that's on him!
I think if you have something to hide that can become clear in over protective phone handling. Every relationship is different though. |
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"If someone demanded to look at my phone, it would piss me off. Both me and hubby know each other's passwords, but would never to snooping. It's called trust.
Totally agree, trust is everything in a relationship.
💯"
Shit bitch!! You posted this from my phone! 🤨
Mr 🐺 |
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