FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Should you forgive your ex?
Should you forgive your ex?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *hagTonight OP Man 1 day ago
From the land of haribos. |
Even get together again? I added the even get together again bit. I read a post about it and the replies there was mixed, like depending on the situation, if they cheated or if it was a silly argument, one might get over it and could forgive, the later more so.
I agree that it depends on how it ended, one might be able to forgive a silly argument more than if one cheated, how one deals with the breakup and forgiveness is a deeply personal choosing and it depends how you can live with it and carry on, there could even be a glimmer of hope to get together again after the forgiveness if the feelings are mutal and both are single, or as the saying goes, the ex is an ex for a reason.
Did you know that there are 6 signs it isnt over yet? They are:
1. You have had time apart.
2. Change is possible.
3 .Your friends and family approve.
4. You want the same things.
5. You felt loved when you were together,
6. You are ready to forgive.
It would be interesting to see what your views of it is, should you forgive your ex and even get together again, have it happened to you, if so, did you forgive your ex and what happened afterwards? Or is an ex an ex for a reason.
I dont have an ex, but I think I could forgive a silly argument because it would give you peace more than anything else and you could move on too  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't believe forgiveness is for your benefit, its a way of making the other party feel better about their behaviour. I don't need to forgive anyone that had such a negative impact on my life.
Moving on is different though, that's your own responsibility. Having the ability to let things go and not let it project on your life further is the key to moving forward. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't have anything to forgive my ex for, we simply had enough of eachother.
We're still very much good friends, Which is great for co parenting our child.
Would I ever want to get back?
No thanks, 😊 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I believe forgiveness is important for the self.
Forgiveness doesn't mean you take them back or even like them again.
Forgiveness means you are over it and can carry on without grief or hatred and even wish them well.
BUT
I am a strong believer in the words of Angela Mayou....
'When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.' |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
People do not change. It’s a myth that they do.
Forgiveness is for ourselves not them. I no longer hold it against you is really I no longer carry it with me.
If you return to where you were you will need to leave again. Or another way, that which harmed you will not heal you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I believe forgiveness is important for the self.
Forgiveness doesn't mean you take them back or even like them again.
Forgiveness means you are over it and can carry on without grief or hatred and even wish them well.
BUT
I am a strong believer in the words of Angela Mayou....
'When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.' "
That’s a great quote. Not forgiving is toxic, like drinking poison as an act of revenge. Real forgiveness is understanding why they did shit to you. Self respect is never welcoming that shit from them again. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Considering he was toxic af and I have hooked with him since and he's still toxic af no I won't forgive him 17 years together. And walking away was the best decision that I ever made. plus he never liked my life style choices.
I couldn't ever go back |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Part of the problem for me is that people buy into the social constructs of monogamy and believing you should only have one partner for life.
Some short relationships were highly successful
Some lifetime relationships were lifetimes of shit |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy-RedWoman 24 hours ago
pink panther territory |
I forgive my ex for cheating on me I realised our marriage hasd became a sham
Il never forgive him for turning his back on his kids though,he should have been there for his daughter when she needed him the most |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man 19 hours ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I believe forgiveness is important for the self.
Forgiveness doesn't mean you take them back or even like them again.
Forgiveness means you are over it and can carry on without grief or hatred and even wish them well.
BUT
I am a strong believer in the words of Angela Mayou....
'When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.' "
Hi, that is good you believe in forgiveness, that is right, it does not mean you take them back, yes, it is important for the self too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iver78Man 19 hours ago
barton upon humber |
I believe in forgiveness, people makes mistakes ,( regarding relationships) but I wouldent ever go to an ex , whatever the reason you split up with them for would raise its head , im really good friends with an ex who cheated but I realized that we were very different people , as friends we get on great as a couple not so great , I was away a lot and she needed more simple as that , at the time it was terrible but on reflection it's for the best
The knob who upset my mum , now that's a different matter lol been 20+ yrs and I would still do unspeakable to things to him if I ever met the prick lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don’t need to forgive as I am just detached from that point so my feelings on the matter or no longer exist. Logically it’s of relevance anymore to me and has no value or advancement to my life to have feelings linger. I am an extreme cut and done mentally person.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
They say it’s bad to cheat and I say I would never do it but what if your partner doesn’t give as you want, if they don’t know.
If a gorgeous lady had chemistry with you and wanted you then could it be bad.
If I was away and didn’t know about it then i wouldn’t care. It would probably make me wanna know how I can get better at it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man 16 hours ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I don't believe forgiveness is for your benefit, its a way of making the other party feel better about their behaviour. I don't need to forgive anyone that had such a negative impact on my life.
Moving on is different though, that's your own responsibility. Having the ability to let things go and not let it project on your life further is the key to moving forward. "
Hi mysterious, that is good you dont need to forgive anyone that had such a negative impact on your life, yes, moving on is different, yes, that is the key to moving forward too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man 16 hours ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I don't have anything to forgive my ex for, we simply had enough of eachother.
We're still very much good friends, Which is great for co parenting our child.
Would I ever want to get back?
No thanks, 😊"
That is good you are still very much good friends, yes, it is good for co parenting too  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aked beachMan 15 hours ago
Just A Stranger In A Strange Land. |
Funny you posted this, I went to my ex on Sat evening to drop a couple of bits off that we bought jointly but she wanted. Nice chat catching up a bit, but the spark that was there has gone for me. I’ll happily chat to her should she message, but that’ll be it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *erdyHollyTV/TS 14 hours ago
In a galaxy far far away |
I got divorced 7 years ago but neither of us did anything bad. We simply fell out of love with eachother and it was like living with a friend.
We are still friends to this day and talk regularly although it's mostly when she's asking to borrow money 
But we wouldn't get back together. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I believe forgiveness is important for the self.
Forgiveness doesn't mean you take them back or even like them again.
Forgiveness means you are over it and can carry on without grief or hatred and even wish them well.
BUT
I am a strong believer in the words of Angela Mayou....
'When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.' "
Totally agree with this. Will never take my last ex back but I want absolutely to never see or hear from them again. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Each to their own. But I've had to explain to my daughter today that she does have a dad, but he withdrew all responsibility of her when he walked away when she was only 2 months old.
Trying to put that in simple terms to a three year old is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. Watching her beautiful little face crumple with confusion.
So no, I will never forgive him for turning his back on her. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
An ex is an ex for a reason.
If I decided it was time to break up, I'd decided it was done for good.
If they decided it was time to break up and changed their mind, they obviously don't think things through enough for us to be compatible long term 💜 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't think it's generally a good idea, and I'm saying that as someone who feels lucky to even have a chance of a romantic relationship. To me the critical thing is that people change. The ex you had 5 years ago isn't the same person now and neither are you. I had a phase after each breakup where I asked that question, "would I get back together if they asked?" And I knew I was ready to move on when I could honestly say no to it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *tormQueenWoman 12 hours ago
All over the place |
My most recent Ex? Caused me a great deal of pain and confusion but ultimately i dont think is a bad person just emotionally impotent. I could forgive, but would certainly never go back
My ex husband is the father of my kids and they love him. If he ever took accountability for half of the problems in our marriage I would forgive him in a heartbeat for my kids benefit. Its never going to happen though because his entire personality now appears to be based on the fact that his evil ex wife ruined his life🤷♀️ And I absolutely wouldnt touch him with someone elses 🤣🤣 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *obbo2022Man 11 hours ago
top of little hill near bishop |
i gave my ex wife another chance.
after she cheated on me.
only for the same thing to happen with my best mate.
yeah i was daft enough to sleep with her after her relationship broke up.
but now definitely better off with out the toxic relationship in my life.
ex for a reason
move on
life is too dam short |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Actions have consequences. There is a risk with every choice. Choose your risk. Some couples make it work, some don't. Forgiveness is up to the person who has been wronged. The person who did the wrong thing has to acknowledge what they did and sincerely ask for forgiveness. Accountability is important. Relationships are complicated. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man 10 hours ago
From the land of haribos. |
"My ex's have done nothing wrong for me to forgive. Still very good friends with all but one x"
Hi sparkle, that is good your exs have done nothing wrong for you to forgive and how you are still very good friends with all but one ex too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *dammahoCouple 2 hours ago
Ashton-under-Lyne |
I'm begging my love of life to take me back, iv fucked up asin not seen what as right there in front of me, right about the nest thing thst ever happened to me.
I really hope she can forgive me. I hope to marry her and make her the proudest woman on earth for standing by me through thick and thin. Through it all, not sure u can do life without her. She's my world, ET I LOVE YOU WILL ALL MY HEART AND SOUL, take me back beautiful. I'll be the best of the best. You don't need any of the rest. Mwaa. Granny n gramps, I need her, you know I can be that guy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I forgave (but couldn’t forget) him twice but eventually after the 3rd time I caught him cheating I just couldn’t allow him to do it to me anymore… I needed to put my own feelings and mental health first and show him the door.
I told him I would have respected him far more as a man if he had just been honest and not wove a web of lies and deceit that literally had me thinking I was going mad.
So lesson learnt the hard way for me.. and in this instance the leopard certainly didn’t change his spots. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *dammahoCouple 2 hours ago
Ashton-under-Lyne |
Iv not cheated. Been a dick and wasteful time used on bad habits. Only rabbit I want is my beautiful lady back, to build a stronger than ever team, real team, with no thinks. Lots of time to waste over sinething that has now stopped. Both ends. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
