I'm glad you started this thread now because I'm standing in for Harry Kane on Saturday so I'm just at the airport waiting for my flight to be called.

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By *tannersMan 5 days ago

stanley

I am in fact the chieftain of _he minion tribe and hire them out to Gru at £450 per minion per day.

I ialso invented the current minion dialect, it’s a mix of Spanish, Latin and Geordie

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By *ildbillkidMan 5 days ago

where the road goes on forever

I'm the emperor, and I got some new clothes

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By *iaisonseekerMan 5 days ago

Liverpool

All Chuck Norris memes are actually about me.

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By *ein-guyMan 5 days ago

Isle of Wight

I have many tattoos that have never been seen on fab

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By *viatrixCouple 5 days ago

Gatwick

I am currently in Tokyo, Japan.

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By *hamallamadingdongMan 5 days ago

London

I had to have a penis reduction because I was too big.

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By *pTheDale40Man 5 days ago

Coventry

"Post a true fact about yourself. one that's completely, absolutely, definitely 150% true, and is not in any way utterly made up. I'll start:

I'm a reclusive billionaire who made his money in the pawn porn business. "

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

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By *entleman_of_pleasure OP Man 3 days ago

Manchester

Right now I am filled with an unconquerable conviction that England will sail to the finals of the World Cup and win convincingly.

Oh yes.

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By *layfullsamMan 3 days ago

Solihull

I had to hire a full time secretary to deal with my fab admin…

….. then let her go 24 hours later as she had nothing too do 😂

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By *antsman22Man 3 days ago

Hampshire

I've drank with Liam and Noel Gallagher, ran security for Robbie Williams played at Wembley

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By *atnip make me purrWoman 3 days ago

Reading

I am Aphrodite.

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By *ggchaser01Man 3 days ago

bridgwater

I got fired from the calendar making factory cos I wouldn’t do weekends

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By *kphooey43Man 3 days ago

Barnet

I am currently banned from booking flights to Iceland because a glitch in my frequent flyer profile automatically reserves a separate, first-class seat for a hypothetical emotional-support puffin named Barnaby.

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By *r lotharioMan 3 days ago

newcastle under lyme

there are people on here who actually want me

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By *ermite12ukMan 3 days ago

Solihull and Romford

My names Brian. Though I'm not the messiah.....you know the rest.

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By *uonline69Man 2 days ago

Saddleworth, UK

I have a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career....