FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > "Sort it out"
"Sort it out"
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
. |
You've been talking to someone and now you're thinking about meeting them. Maybe again. Anyway.
Do you prefer to organise a social/meet/fuck/playtime or would you rather leave it to the other?
If the other person left it all up to you, would you still bother? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’d like a collaboration of ideas. Work as a team.
Unless they know my likes and dislikes inside out I’d trust them to book somewhere nice with air conditioning and a kettle.
Got to have liquid refreshments! 🥵 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
. |
"I'm open for most things so entirely their suggestion. I would insist on social first but that activity is up to them. But more often than not, I'm expected to decide what we should do"
Do you mind it kind of being expected that you organise things?
Eurgh that's awful English. :D
Do you mind having to sort it out? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
What I prefer becomes academic.
What actually happens – no different to the last few years - is that I instigate and facilitate the arrangements.
If I left it to the gutless women then I would end up reluctantly embracing a puritanical lifestyle. 🩵 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm open for most things so entirely their suggestion. I would insist on social first but that activity is up to them. But more often than not, I'm expected to decide what we should do
Do you mind it kind of being expected that you organise things?
Eurgh that's awful English. :D
Do you mind having to sort it out?"
I'm probably the most boring man alive so it would be nothing interesting. I wouldn't mind, but I know the other would mind at how shit my suggestions would be |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
. |
"I’d like a collaboration of ideas. Work as a team.
Unless they know my likes and dislikes inside out I’d trust them to book somewhere nice with air conditioning and a kettle.
Got to have liquid refreshments! 🥵"
Collaborating didn't even cross my mind, think the heat has gotten to me a little. That's a very good option, might start using it more often. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You've been talking to someone and now you're thinking about meeting them. Maybe again. Anyway.
Do you prefer to organise a social/meet/fuck/playtime or would you rather leave it to the other?
If the other person left it all up to you, would you still bother?"
I'm shocked i tell you!! You said the 'p' word!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’d like a collaboration of ideas. Work as a team.
Unless they know my likes and dislikes inside out I’d trust them to book somewhere nice with air conditioning and a kettle.
Got to have liquid refreshments! 🥵
Collaborating didn't even cross my mind, think the heat has gotten to me a little. That's a very good option, might start using it more often."
That said, it only works if both are local ish to each other. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You've been talking to someone and now you're thinking about meeting them. Maybe again. Anyway.
Do you prefer to organise a social/meet/fuck/playtime or would you rather leave it to the other?
If the other person left it all up to you, would you still bother?
I'm shocked i tell you!! You said the 'p' word!! "
I was thinking this too! 🤣 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
. |
"What I prefer becomes academic.
What actually happens – no different to the last few years - is that I instigate and facilitate the arrangements.
If I left it to the gutless women then I would end up reluctantly embracing a puritanical lifestyle. 🩵"
Oh humour me Nero, what would you prefer?
Gutless women is truly charming. 🩷 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
. |
"...Do you prefer to organise a social/meet/fuck/playtime or would you rather leave it to the other?
If the other person left it all up to you, would you still bother?
I'm shocked i tell you!! You said the 'p' word!!
I was thinking this too! 🤣"
Yeah, thought I'd be inclusive and less of my usual slightly pretentious self, almost got away with it. 😄 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You've been talking to someone and now you're thinking about meeting them. Maybe again. Anyway.
Do you prefer to organise a social/meet/fuck/playtime or would you rather leave it to the other?
If the other person left it all up to you, would you still bother?"
I prefer to make plans together |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If I've met them before, I'll instigate and find a suitable time and place for us, first time meets I like to allow the lady as much input as possible as I don't want her to feel pressurised especially ti_eline wise, especially if she's fairly new to the site 🙂 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have discovered that I really dislike it if I am left to sort it out. I get really turned off.
I like to be lead. I’d have to be massively interested for me to take the lead and organise and that doesn’t happen often. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If it’s a social we’ll suggest places as we know the area, if they are coming out of the area.
We’ve also got a lovely little pub down by the canal about an hour away which we’ve suggested if people are further afield.
We can accommodate so we usually suggest ours for sex sessions (I was going to say play sessions but I know you don’t like the term Meli)
K |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"...Do you prefer to organise a social/meet/fuck/playtime or would you rather leave it to the other?
If the other person left it all up to you, would you still bother?
I'm shocked i tell you!! You said the 'p' word!!
I was thinking this too! 🤣
Yeah, thought I'd be inclusive and less of my usual slightly pretentious self, almost got away with it. 😄"
Oh less inclusive, and slightly pretentious, true to yourself is far better  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’d probably leave it to them to suggest something/somewhere but I’d say if I didn’t like the idea. God it’s been years since I met someone new from here! I don’t tend to let people go once I’ve snared them 🤣 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It depends. Sometimes I'm really feeling it so I'll jump right in there, other times if I'm not sure I'll bide my time and wait till they suggest it. That's how I roll. No one size fits all. Ever. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *WB85Man 5 days ago
Staffordshire |
If its a lady I meet regular we will figure plans together and see what suits us both...where it be a social or more.
I'm honestly appreciating a slower approach right now whilst I have so much happening with my Business.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
. |
"I'd suggest and see how the reaction was. Always good to get a decent vibe before asking to arrange  "
Definitely, let's say you're past that stage though for this thread. You know they're happy/wanting to. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
. |
"If I've met them before, I'll instigate and find a suitable time and place for us, first time meets I like to allow the lady as much input as possible as I don't want her to feel pressurised especially ti_eline wise, especially if she's fairly new to the site 🙂"
That's really considerate and lovely, yeah, if a person has more input they're more likely to be able to relax and enjoy themselves. I've had a few socials at really, really awful places and regret not putting my foot down. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If I've met them before, I'll instigate and find a suitable time and place for us, first time meets I like to allow the lady as much input as possible as I don't want her to feel pressurised especially ti_eline wise, especially if she's fairly new to the site 🙂
That's really considerate and lovely, yeah, if a person has more input they're more likely to be able to relax and enjoy themselves. I've had a few socials at really, really awful places and regret not putting my foot down. "
If they suggest somewhere I always read reviews and look at the location. I may then counter their suggestion with a more suitable one. I meet on my terms these days. If it's someone I've met before I'm perfectly happy for them to plan it all. I'm a bit lazy like that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
. |
"I have discovered that I really dislike it if I am left to sort it out. I get really turned off.
I like to be lead. I’d have to be massively interested for me to take the lead and organise and that doesn’t happen often. "
A friend is similar - it does nothing for her at all, bar making her want to cancel. If that's the case it's fair enough really - far better to stick to what works. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
. |
"If it’s a social we’ll suggest places as we know the area, if they are coming out of the area.
We’ve also got a lovely little pub down by the canal about an hour away which we’ve suggested if people are further afield.
We can accommodate so we usually suggest ours for sex sessions (I was going to say play sessions but I know you don’t like the term Meli)
K"
You remembered K! Whenever I visit a certain waffle house I think about you. 🩷
Suggesting things is lovely, especially if they're travelling - you'll know the area, what kind of ambience different places have in a way that Google wouldn't be able to tell you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I was talking to a lad, getting on well etc etc. We had a social and it went well. Arranged another social, arranged the day and time but not a place. On the day he messaged me, we chatted but he didn't mention our planned social, the time came and went and then he didn't message me again or log onto FAB? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
In my experience it is usually me saying, ok, lets do x,y or z on this date (usually about a month away).
Then waiting for the reply of cant that date. So I generally do this lfor about 3 or 4 more times before I finally say, you pick a date. Which they do and thats when the finer details to the meet can be arranged.
The date and diaries aligning tends to be the toughest part. The other bits tend to flow quite smoothly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 5 days ago
. |
"It depends. Sometimes I'm really feeling it so I'll jump right in there, other times if I'm not sure I'll bide my time and wait till they suggest it. That's how I roll. No one size fits all. Ever. "
But everything is binary in this world, Scarlet, how can you not give a definitive answer? Weirdo.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If I really wanted a second date to happen and genuinely believed the other person did too, I’d gladly organise it.
My fear and anxiety comes with the first, and whether I’m as fun etc in real life as my persona here 😱 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think I've been better at being a bit more forward when it comes to meeting if I know there's interest there which is isn't something I used to do before as I never knew the right time to broach the subject so I'd always hope they'd initiate it instead.
Distance is always the limiting factor but if they say something in terms of being busy or it feels like they're a bit wishy-washy then I tend to drop the subject and not bring it up again as I won't be someone to ask twice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You've been talking to someone and now you're thinking about meeting them. Maybe again. Anyway.
Do you prefer to organise a social/meet/fuck/playtime or would you rather leave it to the other?
If the other person left it all up to you, would you still bother?"
New meets: 98% social meet
Secondary/ tertiary meets: an already pre arranged scenario to play out |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was talking to a lad, getting on well etc etc. We had a social and it went well. Arranged another social, arranged the day and time but not a place. On the day he messaged me, we chatted but he didn't mention our planned social, the time came and went and then he didn't message me again or log onto FAB? "
He's probably married looking for self validation. Pathetic I know. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You've been talking to someone and now you're thinking about meeting them. Maybe again. Anyway.
Do you prefer to organise a social/meet/fuck/playtime or would you rather leave it to the other?
If the other person left it all up to you, would you still bother?"
Meli, is someone messing you around? Is this a subtle (less than subtle) means of telling them to pull their finger out? Do you want Nero to go and sort them out for you?
Oh, I best answer your questions too...
"Do you prefer to organise a social/meet/fuck/playtime or would you rather leave it to the other?"
I don't 'prefer', happy either way, but most times I have been asked 'where' and 'when' - so then I organise. But if the other person has got suggestions I will go with that and happy to be introduced to new areas (pubs, cafes, bedrooms...)
"If the other person left it all up to you, would you still bother?"
Yes - but then check that they are happy, and if they are not content with the suggestion, probe them for their ideas. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I can't read minds. No one can. So if I want to meet I'd tell them. If they want to meet I'd expect them to tell me. Communication is key. Then we can go from there. We can bounce ideas around and compare schedules, then agree on a time and place. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You've been talking to someone and now you're thinking about meeting them. Maybe again. Anyway.
Do you prefer to organise a social/meet/fuck/playtime or would you rather leave it to the other?
I think it depends on the individual. Some people like to lead and others prefer to follow.
I think to be successful in this lifestyle you need to be compliant to the point of accepting people's differences.
Some on here are far more aggressive in their approach, and set out a list of do's and dont's which make the Nazi party look liberal.
However, at the end of the day, it's about what suits the individual.
We're all different and are allowed to do as we wish.
If the other person left it all up to you, would you still bother?"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hi,
I think it depends on how your communication has been...
Is it a social catch up?
Is it a date?
Is it playtime?
Whichever it is both should have a say and between you organise and have fun xx
Hope that helps lovely x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If it’s a social we’ll suggest places as we know the area, if they are coming out of the area.
We’ve also got a lovely little pub down by the canal about an hour away which we’ve suggested if people are further afield.
We can accommodate so we usually suggest ours for sex sessions (I was going to say play sessions but I know you don’t like the term Meli)
K
You remembered K! Whenever I visit a certain waffle house I think about you. 🩷
Suggesting things is lovely, especially if they're travelling - you'll know the area, what kind of ambience different places have in a way that Google wouldn't be able to tell you."
Do not share that waffle house - I want to get a table next time I’m there 😋 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 4 days ago
. |
"If I really wanted a second date to happen and genuinely believed the other person did too, I’d gladly organise it.
My fear and anxiety comes with the first, and whether I’m as fun etc in real life as my persona here 😱"
Oh Stanners it shouldn't. I'm certain you are. Try and repackage the anxiety as nervous excitement, with an emphasis on the excitement. I still get some excited nerves before meeting someone; if I didn't I probably wouldn't. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If I really wanted a second date to happen and genuinely believed the other person did too, I’d gladly organise it.
My fear and anxiety comes with the first, and whether I’m as fun etc in real life as my persona here 😱"
The expectation anxiety is real for a lot of us I think, lovely. I try and do what Meli said, and tell myself it's excitement. It's all adrenaline at the end of the day and anyone would be very lucky to meet you ❤️ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 4 days ago
. |
"Meli, is someone messing you around? Is this a subtle (less than subtle) means of telling them to pull their finger out? Do you want Nero to go and sort them out for you?
Oh, I best answer your questions too... "
You're a hoot Phooey but nooo. Not at all! Far from it. It's not about me, nor a hint for anyone. I'm really happy with how things are.
"Do you prefer to organise a social/meet/fuck/playtime or would you rather leave it to the other?
I don't 'prefer', happy either way, but most times I have been asked 'where' and 'when' - so then I organise. But if the other person has got suggestions I will go with that and happy to be introduced to new areas (pubs, cafes, bedrooms...) "
Yeah, I was curious as to if there might be a slight gendered difference. I know that I'm happy to organise things and do often but my female friends (the majority) prefer to be the one organised.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman 4 days ago
. |
"I was talking to a lad, getting on well etc etc. We had a social and it went well. Arranged another social, arranged the day and time but not a place. On the day he messaged me, we chatted but he didn't mention our planned social, the time came and went and then he didn't message me again or log onto FAB? "
Eurgh that's really wank. I hope you don't experience that again, x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You've been talking to someone and now you're thinking about meeting them. Maybe again. Anyway.
Do you prefer to organise a social/meet/fuck/playtime or would you rather leave it to the other?
If the other person left it all up to you, would you still bother?"
Always on to a social meet with the minimum of on line chat.
Find the more chat involved the less chance of a real meet so rather nip the dreamers and timewasters in the bud.
My time is far too precious. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You've been talking to someone and now you're thinking about meeting them. Maybe again. Anyway.
Do you prefer to organise a social/meet/fuck/playtime or would you rather leave it to the other?
If the other person left it all up to you, would you still bother?"
Always on to a social meet with the minimum of on line chat.
Find the more chat involved the less chance of a real meet so rather nip the dreamers and timewasters in the bud.
My time is far too precious. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You've been talking to someone and now you're thinking about meeting them. Maybe again. Anyway.
Do you prefer to organise a social/meet/fuck/playtime or would you rather leave it to the other?
If the other person left it all up to you, would you still bother?"
As I prefer the married ones I let them made the arrangements 😈 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
