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Things you might say in the garden 🌹 and in the bedroom

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By *umbleweed. OP Man 13 hours ago

Naas

I'll start with " Doesn't seem to enjoy it in a bed,

but loves it up against a wall"😉

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By *ensuallover1000Man 13 hours ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘This bush really needs trimming…’

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By *hinstrapMan 13 hours ago

sheffield

Go on, get it buried deep

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By *ellsOMan 13 hours ago

hull

If it keeps drooping then just tie a cane around it!

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By *ensuallover1000Man 13 hours ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘I’ll just deposit my seed in the hole….’

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By *ig_eric_tionMan 13 hours ago

IPSWICH

Ive soiled the bed.

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By *ricky ToolMan 13 hours ago

Craigavon

Gently ease the hoe in and plow vigerously...

Too far?? Feels a bit too far lol!

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By *itty FelouWoman 13 hours ago

Carlisle

That bush needs pruned....

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By *itty FelouWoman 13 hours ago

Carlisle

Take it by the stem.....

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By *awtybikerMan 13 hours ago

Barnoldswick

In this weather it needs to be kept moist

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By *hinstrapMan 13 hours ago

sheffield

Just wait until it gets a bit firmer before you pull it

It's much easier if you get down on your hands and knees

I love it when you spread the mulch

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By *ightDesiresCouple 13 hours ago

Northampton

Such beautiful tits

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By *itty FelouWoman 13 hours ago

Carlisle

Oh my, look at those big juicy plums...

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By *umbleweed. OP Man 13 hours ago

Naas

I think there's something nesting in that bush 🪹

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By *hinstrapMan 13 hours ago

sheffield

Get your tulips round this

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By *ittleJohn5Man 13 hours ago

Wickham Market

Nice rose bud

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By *unguyagainMan 13 hours ago

honiton

There are alot of prices here

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By *ensuallover1000Man 13 hours ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘Take a look at my bulbs….’

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By *actile TensionMan 13 hours ago

Sussex

Grab that hoe and give the dirt box a tickle

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By *gainagainMan 13 hours ago

pontypridd

Are you sure that's the right hole you're filling?

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By *ellsOMan 13 hours ago

hull

That's a grower!

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By *ensuallover1000Man 13 hours ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘Look at all that sticky sap running down the stork….’

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By *iltsguy38Man 13 hours ago

swindon

Bury it in nice and deep

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By *cott45hullMan 13 hours ago

Hull

Is that meant to be there?

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By *erry 58Man 13 hours ago

Doncaster

How’s your topiaries

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By *umbleweed. OP Man 13 hours ago

Naas

You told me it would grow bigger

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By *ew1231000Man 13 hours ago

Hullbridge, Essex

Mind the little prick

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By *ig_eric_tionMan 13 hours ago

IPSWICH

Don't sit there.. but its a daffodil dow 🤷‍♂️

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple 12 hours ago

Round the bend

It's like a jungle down there!

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By *exyScientistsCouple 12 hours ago

Castlebar

Its pretty wet. So many puddles

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By *ermite12ukMan 12 hours ago

Solihull and Romford

What do you mean he eats shoots, and leaves?

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple 11 hours ago

Round the bend

Its a mole!!!

Mr 🐺

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By *aked beachMan 11 hours ago

Just A Stranger In A Strange Land.

Looks like it could do with some fertiliser

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By *lumrushCouple 11 hours ago

Worcester

If you pull it hard enough it's bound to come out

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By *idlandiaMan 11 hours ago

Birmingham

Do you think the woman next door could grab my balls for me. I shot them over her bed

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By *b40Man 11 hours ago

lisburn

I’m gonna plant this big one deep in that hole , tho It might be a tight squeeze

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By *oubleohJamieMan 11 hours ago

Cambridge

there's tits all over me bed .

I'll get the hose and nuts out

sorted

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By *eorge AtazderMan 11 hours ago

Old Street 3rd/4th July

Oh no, they’ve all died

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By *inkShyWoman 11 hours ago

near Windsor

It's a bit of a mess but has potential

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By *onin25Man 11 hours ago

Durham

Your petals have a lovely scent

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By *Effy-Woman 11 hours ago

Scotland

Someones shat in the bed again!

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By *enuine_J87Man 11 hours ago

Eastleigh

Why is there so much cat shit here

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple 11 hours ago

Round the bend

Nice bit of foliage

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS 11 hours ago

Bristol

I can work on price for a one off.

But for regular work I charge £25ph

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By *pencer75Man 11 hours ago

Stirlingshire

I'm not sure I'd like another guy cutting my grass

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By *awtybikerMan 11 hours ago

Barnoldswick

Wrong hole, that’s for the compost

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By *Effy-Woman 11 hours ago

Scotland

Where's the hoe?

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By *pencer75Man 11 hours ago

Stirlingshire

Grab that root firmly and give it a good pull

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By *untocum1000TV/TS 11 hours ago

newmarket

For the best results keep it quite moist

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By *abulincsCouple 11 hours ago

near a bridge

How much seed you need

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By *pencer75Man 11 hours ago

Stirlingshire

Get on your knees and get to work, if you're not getting filthy you're not doing it right

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By *reeneggsandsamMan 10 hours ago

Perpignan and cap

I'm sorry I haven't a clue....

I've left the back door open for the gardener. 😆

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By *riggerhappyMan 10 hours ago

reading

Putting horse poo in first makes it grow faster 😂😂😂

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By *pencer75Man 10 hours ago

Stirlingshire

My dad's and grandad's were absolutely huge, they were regularly the talk of the village when they showed them

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By *wcoMan 10 hours ago

West Midlands

You won't get it in through that way, try it up the back alley.

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By *pencer75Man 10 hours ago

Stirlingshire

Snail trails everywhere under this bush

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By *enuine_J87Man 10 hours ago

Eastleigh

Put your back into it!

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple 10 hours ago

Manchester-ish

If I make this hole just a little bit bigger, it should pop right in.

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By *hitehorsefunCouple 9 hours ago

Wantage

I know it looks big but it shouldn't be a problem to handle (in reference to tree felling)

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By *otoriouslyaddictiveMan 9 hours ago

here

Can I bounce on it? (The trampoline)

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By *og-ManMan 9 hours ago

somewhere

Everything is dead in the bed

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By *inner ManMan 9 hours ago

Hull & East Riding

I see a few if you have been listening to ‘Sorry I Haven’t a Clue’ and nicking the panelist’s gags! Tut tut

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By *hitehorsefunCouple 9 hours ago

Wantage

Come on, let's get to work on that bed and really work up a sweat

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By *heoneandonlyEJCouple 9 hours ago

Rotherham

That rose is my favourite 🌹

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By *cFlirtyMan 9 hours ago

midhurst

That's a neat bit of trimming

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By *inkShyWoman 8 hours ago

near Windsor

Tie some bamboo to it and it will stay upright

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By *l_xxxMan 8 hours ago

South leeds

Maybe we should try the wheelbarrow. It's much easier to take the load.

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By *l_xxxMan 8 hours ago

South leeds

I watched them do this on Gardners World

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By *mf123Man 7 hours ago

with one foot out the door

Look i found some worms in this hole

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By *arge packetMan 7 hours ago

Scunthorpe

What a beautiful pear

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By *aptainHornMan 7 hours ago

Naas

Can't beat a bit of fish, blood and bone

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By *oujustneverknowMan 7 hours ago

Norwich

Those tulips look absolutely stunning..

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By *torm in a G cupWoman 7 hours ago

Land of the Long White Cloud

Pump it a few times and pull to get it started. You'll need to empty it a few times before you're done and don't forget your protection.

Can I watch you doing it?

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By *mf123Man 7 hours ago

with one foot out the door

Your dripping bbw sauce everywhere

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By *aptainHornMan 7 hours ago

Naas

Fancy a spin on the ride-on?

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By *mf123Man 7 hours ago

with one foot out the door

Look out a fox shit

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By *uckMe12FreeMan 7 hours ago

(User no longer on site)

"Suck my cock" - yes it happens in my garden.

"Look at this beautiful shed" - yes I talk about garden outbuildings in bed.

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By *elvet RopeMan 7 hours ago

by the big field

Oh wow, great tits!

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By *ric_twingeMan 7 hours ago

Portrush

“Is that…. a slug?”

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By *issy LanaTV/TS 7 hours ago

Slough

It was only tiny when it went in. Now it's bloody enormous.

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By *apkingMan 7 hours ago

Stockport

When the river is red, take the dirt track instead

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By *issy LanaTV/TS 7 hours ago

Slough

I can't find your clit because your bush is overgrown.

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By *rdenites2Couple 6 hours ago

Leicestershire

I think I need to fertilise that gap in the bush.

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By *pthillMan 6 hours ago

st shithole

These posts get steadily worse

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By *ilveryFoxMan 6 hours ago

Midlothian

Nice bush

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By *carlettsWoman 5 hours ago

Harpenden

"My knees are killing me"

"Just push it in six inches."

"I’m always pleasantly surprised when it does what it’s supposed to!"

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By *hippy57Man 5 hours ago

Chelmsford

Those seeds are coming up ,need to prick them out

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By *ymster10Man 2 hours ago

Ellesmere Port

That needs a good forking xx

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By *ellhungvweMan 2 hours ago

Cheltenham

It does grow faster in the summer.

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By *ihimbiherCouple 2 hours ago

lightwater

"Ive soiled the bed."
pmsl. Brilliant

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By *ihimbiherCouple 2 hours ago

lightwater

Is that a slug?

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By *amjones566Man 44 minutes ago

Pembrokeshire

Well that was wet and wonderful

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By *ersatilefoxMan 40 minutes ago

Notts

Oh what a beautiful neat bush.

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By *lectrictouchMan 38 minutes ago

inverarary

Ouch that’s a prick

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